Текст книги "Love Surfaced"

Автор книги: Michelle Lynn

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Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

twenty-two

THE LAWYERS WASTE NO TIME. It’s only been three hours, and here we sit, in a room at the university, while every press person files into the private room across the hall.

Tanner’s leg bounces, his black dress shoes clicking along the linoleum floor. I reach for his hand, and he willingly gives it.

He glances over, and his shoulders slump. “Don’t give me that look. This isn’t your fault. I did this.”

He squeezes my hand, and I nod.

I fight the urge to scream, Brad did this, too.

I look over at Brad. He’s relaxed in a chair, fiddling with his phone. I’m beginning to loathe him the longer he sits back, acting indifferent. He has to care, right? How can he continually let his best friend take his fall?

“Don’t, Piper,” Tanner warns under his breath.

My head flips to his direction. “What?”

“Don’t look at him like you’re so disappointed. I see it across your face. You’re mad that he’s not confessing, but I would never allow him to.”

“He should at least try,” I argue.

Tanner shakes his head and looks around. “Don’t you get it? I made it. He didn’t.”

“So?”

I know Brad was depressed when he never got the call to go to Colorado, but he should have been happy for his best friend.

“I hate it. I hate that I got the call, and he didn’t. He worked his ass off, even before trying the performance drugs. Do you know how badly I’ve wished that he could have been only a millisecond faster?” he whispers.

The scowl across Brad’s face as he texts does nothing to make me feel better about this.

“He just didn’t have it. I didn’t either, but it doesn’t mean I should have tried to cheat.” I fight whatever Tanner is trying to persuade me to accept.

“Oh, Piper. You’re different. You know that, right? You’re not the average athlete. You are competitive, but if Bea would have made the Olympics and you didn’t, you still would have been happy for her. You might have envied her and wished you could have been faster, but you would have moved on. Look at him, Piper. Does he look happy?” Tanner nods in Brad’s direction.

When I study my twin, I realize how blind I’ve been to his silent suffering. It doesn’t make up for what he’s done to Tanner though.

“Still?” I shrug.

“Was I mad this morning when I saw the news calling me a cheater and a violent scumbag? Of course, but I agreed two years ago, and Brad did try to convince me otherwise. But he’s my brother, and I had no problem taking the blame, so he could have a chance at the Olympics. Do I wish it had paid off? That Brad would be swimming in the next lane with me? Yeah.” He nods his head, blowing a breath out. “But he’s not, and there’s nothing either one of us can do to change it. This”—he points to the hallway—“is a consequence of my own doing. So, please, Piper, don’t get mad at him or give him the cold shoulder.” He leans forward and smiles. “Okay?” he asks dipping his head down to see me.

I nod. “Okay,” I relent.

He kisses my lips.

Tanner can do what he wants. I understand what he’s trying to tell me, but it’s time for Brad to rise from the depression and save his best friend. Even though Tanner is in the clear and can still race for a spot on the Olympic team, there will always be whispers and finger-pointing. Every time he beats his time or breaks a record, negativity to his skill will be whispered when he stands at the podium and admits to using when he was in college. So, whether Tanner wants me to give Brad another pity bone, he hasn’t earned it in my book.

But I’m not going to stress Tanner out in this moment, so I smile, kiss him on the lips, and let it go for the time being.

“Tanner?” A gentleman with a tailored brown suit peeps his head into the room.

“Here goes nothing.” Tanner stands up, straightening his black suit that perfectly molds to his broad shoulders.

I stand, and he pulls me in for one hug.

“I love you,” I whisper.

He kisses the top of my head. “I love you. I’ll be right back, and then this is over.”

He breaks away from me, and with Patrick right beside him, he meets his lawyer at the door.

How does he not understand that this is far from over? It’s almost the beginning.

He’s admitting to something he never did.

Tanner’s lawyer shuffles him and Patrick to the corner of the room, and I scowl at Brad.

Dylan walks over and swings his arm around my shoulders. “What’s up, sis?” he asks.

I peer up at him, rolling my eyes.

“What? We both know that’s what you’ll be eventually.” He grabs a doughnut from the table and places it in his mouth.

“I’d rather be your sister than his.” I flip my head in Brad’s direction.

Dylan chuckles. “I second you on that one.”

Finally, someone is on my page.

“So, I’m not crazy for wanting to pummel him right now?” I grab a bowl of fruit, looking at it, and then I place it back down. I’m stressed, which means my body craves salty foods. I search the table, but not even a potato chip is found.

“Not at all. Let’s double-team him,” Dylan says, cracking open a can of Diet Coke.

Thank goodness. Something I need.

Moving past him to grab a can, I take a few sips. “How can he be so damn selfish?” I ask Dylan.

“He’s always been selfish. You know that,” Dylan reminds me.

I nod my head because he’s right. “I suppose. But Tanner’s okay with it. He told me not to be mad at Brad,” I scoff.

Dylan smirks. “I’m not surprised. They’ve always possessed a protective friendship. How many times have they taken the fall for one another? The exception this time is that it’s going to ruin one of them.”

“Why can’t Brad or Tanner see that?” I shake my head.

“Because they’re morons.”

Truthfully, neither of us has much to say, and we can argue it all we want, but nothing will change. Tanner accepts Brad’s selfishness, and Brad takes advantage of Tanner’s guilt for Brad not making the Olympics.

“Okay, family.” The lawyer claps his hands, and we all turn to face him. “Two of you may stand on the side while Tanner makes his statement. The only ones allowed at the table are Tanner and me. The rest of you can stay here, and we’ll be back.” He nods and then exits the door after whispering something to Tanner.

I bite my lip, deliberating which two people will go. I’m positive Patrick will be one and then maybe Lana.

Tanner walks over to me, his teeth biting the inside of his cheek. “Can I talk to you for a second?” he asks. He entwines his hand with mine, guiding me over to the corner he was just in with his lawyer. “So, Ken doesn’t think you should be there when I make the announcement.” His head falls, and then he picks it back up. “He says it’s all too close. The fight was over you, and your brother is linked with me on the drugs.”

Although I was willing to not be a part of it, it hurts that they don’t want me. “Okay,” I say, not about to make this any harder on him.

“I tried to fight it, but the last thing I need is for you to be seen. I want to keep you out of this as much as I can.” His hand tightens around mine.

“Okay,” I repeat.

He cocks his head. “Piper, please don’t act like you’re okay with this when you’re not,” he pleads.

I’m not sure what he wants from me. “I understand. I do,” I assure him, nodding my head a few times rapidly.

He bends down, kissing my lips one more time.

“I’ll be right back.” He leaves.

I inhale one scent of his cologne as it breezes by me. The door shuts, and when I turn around, my parents are over by Brad. Dylan is across the room on his phone while Patrick and Lana must have gone with Tanner.

Flopping down in the chair, I glare at Brad. After a few minutes, he must feel my eyes burning into his scalp because he picks it up.

“What?” he asks.

I sigh. “You.” I’m unable to stop the anger from surfacing any longer.

With Tanner out of the room, I don’t have to worry about him getting upset about what I’m going to do.

“You should be happy. You have Tanner.” Brad shakes his head as though he’s annoyed by me.

“Oh, let me bow for you allowing me to be happy. God knows, nothing comes without a price from you.”

My mom outstretches her hands at us. “Stop it, you guys. This isn’t the time or place.”

“When’s the right time? Maybe after Tanner’s career crashes before it could ever kick off—as long as poor Brad doesn’t get upset, that is.” I’m surprised at the venom leaving my mouth.

“It was his decision. He agreed to it.” Brad shoves his phone in his pocket, as though preparing himself for an argument.

“What are the two of you talking about?” my dad asks, sitting up straighter on the edge of his seat.

I ignore my dad’s question. “Now, you should be stepping up and taking the blame. How could I have been so blind all these years?”

“Piper?” my mom questions.

“I gotta go. Things are heating up,” Dylan says on the phone before hanging up. He walks over, leaning against the treat table.

“Oh, should I tell them or you?” I cock my head at Brad.

He narrows his eyes at me. “Drama, drama, drama. That’s all you are, Piper,” he sneers.

It’s the final chance for him. I open my chest and pour the scalding lava over him. “Me?” I point to myself, standing to my feet. “Drama? Aren’t you the kettle calling the pot—”

“Black,” he deadpans. “Original, Piper,” he says.

My fists clench at my sides. “You fucking asshole.” I’m so frustrated that I feel the tears welling as my body trembles.

“Language. And for the last time, what is going on?” My mom stands up in between us.

“You’re leaving your best friend to fry. Do you even understand what’s about to happen out there? They are going to eat him alive. No one will ever believe him again. He could take a hundred drug tests, and people will still say he’s a cheater.” I inch closer to him, talking like I’m disciplining a nine-year-old.

“He’s Tanner fucking McCain. Everyone loves him. He’ll win them over again.” He takes what I said and smashes it against the wall with his absurd beliefs.

“Get over it, Brad!” I yell.

“Shhh . . . Chris?” my mom pleads to my dad to get us under control.

“Lower your voices, and tell us what you’re arguing about,” he demands with an authoritative tone.

“Your son is the one who failed the drug test. Tanner covered it up for him, but now, your selfish son won’t admit it.”

“What?” my mom whispers. I hate that I just broke her heart.

I face Brad again. “You didn’t get the call. You didn’t make the team. I’m sorry, Brad. I know you wanted it, but plain and simple, you weren’t good enough. I know the words cut because they cut me, too, but those are the facts. We just didn’t have what it takes. You have an amazing career yourself, and I see you. You enjoy running Lincoln Operations. You’re about to marry your fiancée tomorrow. Your life is good, Brad.”

I’m eager to reach him, but he stands up, pacing the floor.

“Good?” His head tosses back. “You’re kidding me! I ruined my life a year and a half ago. I lost my swimming career first, and then a month later, she slipped from my grasp.”

I close my eyes, and my anger simmers when he finally admits how much it hurt when Taylor left.

“Then, go get her. Stop sitting on your ass, and don’t marry a girl you don’t love. Go after the one you love,” I hammer back.

An empty laugh emerges from his lips. “It’s not that simple.” His fingers link behind his head, and he tips it back. “I ruined it, ruined us.” When his head rises, I see the tears in his eyes. “I lost everything I loved within weeks of each other.”

“I can’t make you fight for her, but, Brad, you can fight for Tanner today. If his friendship means what you say it does, it shouldn’t be a question for you to save him now.” My shoulders deflate, and I hope he sees the light out of the dark hole he’s put himself into.

His eyes darken, and the sadness that filled them seconds ago is gone. “Let me guess. This is something you’ll benefit from? Don’t worry. Your golden boy will come out as shiny as ever,” he says in a condescending tone, tilting his head.

“That’s it.” Dylan rushes across the room. Both his hands grip Brad’s shirt, pushing him against the wall. “You fucking piece of shit. Snap the hell out of it. This isn’t you, Brad. You aren’t this much of an asshole.”

Brad holds out his arms to the side. “Or am I?” He raises his eyebrows a few times.

“Come on, you’re going to let my brother sink out there?” Dylan asks, his anger already subduing.

“All right. God.” Brad takes his arm and swipes down over Dylan’s grip. “I get it. Okay?”

Dylan backs off, and Brad straightens out his shirt. He turns around. One could hear a pin drop from how quiet it is. Brad’s fingers clasp behind his head, and he paces back and forth in front of the food table.

He looks over at our dad. “You have any idea what it’s like to be second-best? Envious of your best friend who holds everything that you want in his hands?”

My dad stands up and walks toward him.

Brad’s head hangs down. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles.

“I know, Brad. It’s okay.” My dad wraps his arm around Brad’s shoulders and I hear soft sniffles from Brad. I want to run over to him, wrap my arms around his body and make the pain go away. But I won’t because he needs to fix his life himself.

The two of them walk out the doors of the green room.

I follow them to the door, and when we reach the outside, I hear Ken, Tanner’s lawyer, introduce himself to the press. Lana and Patrick are composed, both their hands clasped in front of them. Brad and our dad inch closer, and Lana sees Brad first, a somber look across her face.

I lean against the wall beside Lana. Brad and our dad walk up to the podium, and a million flashes go off. Tanner peers up and shakes his head to Brad, but Brad shakes his right back, placing his hand on Tanner’s shoulder to keep him seated.

“Don’t,” Tanner says.

Brad waits by Ken for his turn at the microphone.

Ken covers up the microphone and leans back to see what exactly is happening now. “Hold on. We’ll be right back. Sorry, everyone.”

Ken ushers them off the stage, the opposite side of us, so the McCains and I go around.

“What the hell is going on?” he asks. “This isn’t the way to get the press conference going.” His hands are stuffed in his pockets as he rolls back and forth on his heels.

“Nothing.” Tanner turns to Brad. “Let it go. I’m fine with this.”

“Don’t seriously make me beat the shit out of you. I’m a prick, and it might have taken me a long time to realize that my jealousy of you was actually ruining our friendship. Truth is, I am, so fucking green with envy that I can barely see straight. It was our dream, Tanner. You got it, and I didn’t. It was hard to swallow. It still is, if I’m being honest.”

“I know.” Tanner’s guilt shows from his sympathetic eyes to his deflated body.

“I’ve made you feel guilty for it,” Brad admits. “I sat back while I let someone I consider my brother lose his girl and now almost his dignity. I’m sorry.”

Brad’s honesty amazes me in this moment, especially after how it took forever for him to come around in the other room. Was it Dylan who finally got through to him?

Lana peers over to me, but I shrug.

“We made the decision together,” Tanner fights.

Brad interjects, “You did it to give me a chance, and I still couldn’t make the team. I should have never let you do it. So, today, we set it straight.” Brad looks Ken in the eyes. “It was me, my urine. Tanner took the fall for me. He’s never touched any pill, powder, or shot that would increase his chances.”

Ken glances to Tanner, and Tanner nods.

“You’re ready to admit that to all those people?” Ken points to the room.

“Yeah. It’s long overdue.” Brad turns around and walks into the room without saying anything else.

Tanner follows, and the rest of us lean against the wall, still absorbing how much these two boys care for one another.

I notice all the confused faces of the press people as Brad takes the podium. My own gut clenches for Brad, but I’m proud of him, too.

Ken stands behind him while Tanner remains next to Brad.

“Hi, everyone.” Brad’s voice shakes. “My name is Brad Ashby, and I swam with Tanner back at Michigan. Well, the positive drug test Curtis Zeker has uncovered, um . . . was used with my urine.”

Flashes go off, and Brad hangs his head. The reporters begin spouting off questions.

Ken leans forward. “Please hold all questions until the end.”

Some reporters stop, and then someone grabs my hand. I look over, and see my mom. Her eyes flick to the room and back to Brad on the stage. She releases a breath and squeezes my hand.

“Like I was saying, Tanner’s a great friend, the best actually. I could stand up here and go through our past together since we were seven. But all you really need to know is, Tanner got into a car accident near the end of our senior year. His injury took him out that season. I began a regiment of an enhancement drug to give me an edge with the hopes that the Olympic Training Center would pick me up as they’d already asked Tanner.”

The room gasps as though it’s some hidden secret of why they’re all here.

“Tanner took the fall since he couldn’t swim the rest of the season. He took his drug test and switched the urine with mine that tested as positive for enhancement drugs.”

The reporters all shout questions to Brad, but he holds his hands up.

“Please give me a second to finish. Tanner McCain is a lot of things. He’s a great friend, a fierce competitor, one of the best swimmers in the country, but he’s not a cheater. I take full responsibility.”

Tanner pats Brad on the shoulder, and they share a look.

“Why should we believe you?” a reporter calls out.

Ken tries to intervene, but Brad answers, “Do your research. You’ll see his times have only increased in the two years he’s been training in Colorado. All his drug screenings are negative. Do the math, and I’m pretty sure you’ll conclude the right answer.”

A few more questions are asked, and Ken answers instead of Brad or Tanner. Ten minutes later, they walk off the stage, and I rush over to Brad, giving him a huge hug.

“You did the right thing,” I whisper.

He nods. “Thanks to you and Dylan for the wake-up call.”

“That’s why I’m here.” I push back from his arms. “Now, you just need to do one thing, and you’ll be on the right track.”

I tighten my lips, and he nods.

“Let me just get through this right now.” He walks away to our mom.

She gives him a stern look but then takes him into her arms.

Lana is bawling into Tanner’s arms as I wait patiently for him. He tears himself away from her, handing her off to his dad. Turning my way, he smiles and walks over.

“There will always be people—” I begin to say.

He places his finger in front of my lips. “Stop. We’re going to look at the positives. We know the truth, and that’s it.”

He hugs me into his arms, and I close my eyes as I rest my cheek on his chest.

“Can I ask you a question?” I look up at him.

He nods. “What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me about the positive drug test? I mean, I don’t care, but—”

“I didn’t want you to worry. That little piece of information that there was a positive test out there would have been grown in the back of your head each day into something bigger than it was.”

I nod and take a deep breath. The secret is out, and there’s nothing anyone can dig up about Tanner McCain.

“You’re right. How do you know me so well?” I ask him, smiling.

“Because I’ve been in love with you for as long as I remember.” He bends down, and his lips press against mine.

Butterflies flutter in my stomach, and with a snap of his fingers, he places me back up on that cloud in the sky.

epilogue

THE PLASTIC BAGS DIG INTO my fingers as I fumble with my key in the lock. The snow banks are piled up on either side of the door, and my toes are freezing. I thought coming from the Midwest that I’d be used to the snow and cold, but I’ve never in my life seen this much snow at one time. The sun reflects against the window, and feeling the heat along my skin makes the slippery driving I just did from the grocery store disappear.

Once I’m in the building, my head falls in defeat in front of the stairs.

Two flights, I think to myself, adjusting the bags in my hands before stepping one foot in front of the other.

If those weren’t bad enough, Tanner has to be the last apartment on this floor. The glass jars clink together while the bread repeatedly tries to escape out of the bag while I walk down the long hallway.

“Should have waited for Tanner,” I mumble to myself, increasing my speed.

I insert the key into his—I mean, our apartment. God, what a foreign statement that is, even after all this time. My phone blares in the hallway, and I shuffle in as fast as I can, the door slamming behind me. I drop the bags on the table and then put the tips of my gloves into my mouth to shed them from my hands. Digging into a pocket of my parka, I retrieve my phone, seeing Brad’s name flashing across the screen.

“What’s up?” I ask, placing him on speakerphone to begin taking off my layers for warmth.

“She’s dodging me,” he says.

No, Hello. How are you guys? Tanner training hard? Do you ever see him?

Nope, good old selfish Brad is still alive and currently chasing down Taylor.

“Oh. Well, what did you expect?” I hang my coat on the coat rack I suggested we buy at the store even though Tanner was more than willing to have his coats hanging on the back of the kitchen chair all the time.

“I expected her to see my gorgeous face and my ripped body and run into my arms.”

I laugh. “Seriously?” I open up the plastic bags and begin unloading the groceries.

I cross my fingers and hope that the food will last for more than two days. But with an Olympic-training swimmer, food disappears faster than I can buy it.

“Why wouldn’t I think that? What are you doing?”

“I’m unloading the groceries. I just got back from the store.” I roll my eyes, waiting for his insult.

“Man, you have become domesticated. Your belly getting in the way? Are you wearing shoes?”

“Ha-ha,” I sneer at his typical jokes about me not having a job yet and being the stay-at-home girlfriend.

“I’m impressed. I never thought you’d take to the role so well.”

“Role? This isn’t a movie. Get on with Taylor. How did she react?” I open our pantry, already bare from us shopping three days ago.

“She ignored me. Walked to her car as though she didn’t hear me. Then, she got in, started it up, and drove away.”

I begin stocking our shelves, laughing to myself. Then, I hear a woman say something in the background. My arm stops mid reach. “Brad? Who’s that?”

I’ll fly back to Michigan and beat his ass myself if he’s with another woman after Taylor turned him down.

“Relax. I can hear the tension in your voice. You’d think since you don’t do much all day, you’d have less stress.” He chuckles.

Then, I hear a muffling sound.

“It’s my sister. Just razzing her.”

“I’m about to hang up now.”

“If you must know, I’m at the hospital. Ouch!” he screams. “It is still attached to my body,” he says to the woman, I assume the nurse.

“Brad?” I yell into the phone.

“She ran over my foot when she left me in the parking lot.”

I purse my lips together to stop the laughter begging to release.

“Go ahead, and laugh.”

“Are . . . are you okay?” I try to conceal any sound of amusement to his injury.

“I’m fine. Thank God it was my left foot. Ouch!” he screams.

I feel bad for the nurse.

“I gotta go. I’ll call you tonight.”

Dead air sounds a second later.

Shaking my head, I continue the chore of putting the food away, trying to remember if I had bought everything for tonight’s dinner.

Brad’s jokes toward my current situation with Tanner deepen, and I fear I’m becoming a burden on Tanner. It’s not him surfacing those feelings. It’s me and my own diminishing self-esteem.

Not to mention, I’m not killing it with all these household chores. I washed his down parka after he spilled coffee on it one morning, and I ruined it. I stripped his coffee table of the varnish when my nail polish remover spilled across it. Somehow, the vacuum cleaner started smoking the first time I used it, so I don’t even go near the new one.

Tonight is different though. Tonight, I’m making us a romantic dinner to celebrate our six-month anniversary of dating. It’s probably cheesy and something I wouldn’t do if I weren’t stuck in snow country with nothing to do but please my man.

Taking out the recipe, I give myself a small pep talk to boost my confidence. I can accomplish at least one domesticated thing. During the past few months, I’ve refrained from calling my mom for advice because I want to show some form of independence even if Tanner supports me financially.

After the kitchen is ready to go, I hop in the shower to shave every last hair off my body, except for the ones on my head. As the water cascades down my back, the heat warms my cold skin. My mind drifts to Brad and his quest for Taylor. In the last six months, both our lives have changed for the better.

The press conference wasn’t the end of the ordeal. Some people still point to Tanner, not believing the hard facts of his progress the last two and a half years. They want to believe he can’t be that good without using, but he is, and he seems to be at peace, knowing so. He takes it all in stride just as he has his whole life.

Bayli was sitting in her car, waiting for us, when we pulled up to our driveway. Brad took the beating she gave him after he quietly told her he couldn’t marry her. The rest of us remained in the house, but we could still hear her screaming at him. Needless to say, her parents are trying to bill Brad for the lost money. But he seems happier, and it took him a few months to seek Taylor out and find out where she went after college.

I smile, remembering the Skype call when he located her. The hope in his face had me cuddling up to Tanner a little closer that night in appreciation of having the one I love so close. Now, Brad has to hold tight and not give up since she’s dodging him. That’s not Brad’s strong suit. This time, he needs to channel his fighting instinct he used to have and win her over.

I escape the shower, and I immediately smile. My hand covers my heart as though his words have shot me with Cupid’s arrow.

You’re perfect is scribbled across the mirror in Tanner’s writing.

He has this sense when I’m struggling. I guess I’ve been transparent the last few weeks. Next to his writing, I add my own note on the steamed mirror for Tanner to see the next time he gets out of the shower. My finger slides along the smooth surface, smiling at the thought of him finding my words.

When I’m done, I need you like a heartbeat reads on the mirror.

When I back up to open the bathroom door, I smile as it disappears.

I put on the pink dress from our very first date, which I just found when I unpacked my boxes. I try to even do my hair the exact same way I did over two years ago.

Tossing on the apron Brad gave me as a going-away gift—smart-ass bastard—I take a hefty breath to begin cooking a meal to prove my worth.

An hour later, I’m shuffling between the cutting board, the stove, and the sink. Sweat is dripping in between my cleavage and I’m positive my makeup is streaking down my face.

Glancing at the clock, I have five minutes before Tanner will walk through the door. I rush over to the table, setting it with our generic white dishes and our only two wine glasses. After lighting votive candles in a line down the middle of the table, I toss the flowers I bought in a glass jar since we don’t have a vase. Stepping back, I’m impressed. It looks nice and romantic.

As I’m smiling at the table I accomplished to decorate, Tanner’s key twists in the lock, and I lean against the counter in the kitchen, so I’m the first thing he sees. With my hand on my hip, I deny the urge to bite my lower lip from how anxious his entry makes me.

The door opens, and I’m surprised to find he showered at the center. He’s all decked out in a charcoal pinstriped suit, holding a vase full of flowers in his hand.

My shoulders slump, and my smile widens. “You remembered,” I whisper, my throat tightening.

He takes me in, and then his eyes flick to the table all set for a romantic dinner. “I was going to take you out.” He places the flowers on the table next to my makeshift arrangement. “It looks beautiful.” Wrapping his arm around my waist, he pulls me to him, his face nuzzling in my neck. “Not as beautiful as you though.”

“Aw, aren’t you the sweetest?” My hands reach up, feeling his damp hair.

His hands tighten, and he lifts me off the ground.

“I missed you,” he softly says.

I love the way he makes me feel so wanted.

He kisses my neck and places me back down on the ground. “So, what do we have?”

He walks into the kitchen, and just as I’m about to tell him, I notice smoke lingering in the air.

“Hey, babe?” he asks, opening the oven door. A billow of smoke rushes out.

“Oh my God!” I scream right before the smoke alarm blares throughout the apartment.

Tanner rushes over and opens a window, and as the expert I’ve become in the kitchen, I turn on the fan above the stove, grab a dishtowel, and wave it below the alarm. Tanner calmly walks over, reaching up and pressing the sounding alarm to shut it off.

I freeze in place, watching him take charge. He takes the dish out of the oven, puts it in the freezer, and waves his hand in the air to dissipate the smoke. Looking at the table, the tears well up in my eyes because of another failed attempt. I tried to show Tanner how much I love him. My fingers swipe the few spilled tears on my cheeks, and when Tanner gets the situation all under control, he laughs, walking over to me.

“I guess I still get to take you out to dinner.” He chuckles again.

The misery festers in me and emerges, and tears pour out of my eyes. My head falls into my hands, and Tanner rushes the last few steps toward me.

“Hey.” His arms wrap around me while his head dips down to entice me to look at him. “It happens, baby. I took care of it.”

His sentence breaks me, and my slow trickling of tears turns to sobs gushing out.

“That’s it,” I stutter. “You always take care of me,” I admit the insecurity I have when it comes to our relationship.

“I love taking care of you.” He grabs my hands and pushes them away from my face. His thumb and forefinger cup my chin, and he tilts my face up to meet his. “What’s going on?”