Текст книги "Luke"
Автор книги: M. Malone
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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 12 страниц)
chapter ten
†
SEVEN
Luke sits up all the way and somehow I’m on my back. He lowers himself on top of me, all without losing the connection between us. When he pulls out, I try not to flinch but he notices anyway. He kisses me softly.
“Poor baby. I’ll take care of her in a minute.”
He winks and climbs off the bed before disappearing into the hall. I hear the bathroom door close and that jolts me upright.
Frantically, I brush my hair down where it’s sticking up in the back. After having a massive orgasm I should be relaxed but I’m suddenly extremely self-conscious. I’ve never lost complete control of myself like that before. I’m just glad Luke doesn’t have a roommate because I don’t think I could have been quiet to save my life.
He comes back and slides under the covers next to me. My eyes land on his cock which is still rock hard. I cover my mouth with my hand. Damn. When I look up at him, he’s eyeing me with the most intense look on his face and I blush.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because now I know how good you feel. The things I was imagining before were pretty dirty but I wasn’t even in the ballpark of how good it actually is.”
He’s nuzzling behind my ear as he says this and already my body is getting ready for him again. I clench my thighs, shocked by how achy and needy I feel down there.
Tentatively I reach out and place my hand in the center of his chest. He groans at the touch. Emboldened by the sound, I let myself stroke all the well-defined muscles in his abs. They flex under my fingers and I watch, fascinated at the sight. I bite my lip and then let my fingers drift a little lower.
“Fuck!”
He rears up and suddenly I have a fist full of him. He feels even bigger in my hand and I can hardly believe I took all of that inside. I’ve never been this bold with a guy before but with Luke I somehow know that no matter what I do it won’t be wrong.
Nothing is off limits between us and that gives me the courage to explore. I brush my thumb over the slippery head, then again at his tortured moan.
“Just like that,” he chokes out.
It turns me on to see how my touch affects him, to see him losing control because of what I’m doing. I scoot down and he watches me through slitted eyes as I take him in my mouth. His muscles tighten under my hands and he goes completely still. I get the sense that he’s trying to hold himself in check and I find I don’t want him controlled. I want to take him past reason and make him lose all sense of time and place the way he did for me.
I relax my throat taking more of him in.
His strangled curse is extremely gratifying and I feel like a sex goddess when his hand tangles in my hair, holding me in place for the thrust of his hips.
Everything about this turns me on: the tormented sounds coming from his throat, the tight grip of his fist in my hair but most of all the look of complete adulation on his face.
He pulls back and then arranges me gently on my stomach. With my ass in the air I feel completely open and exposed. Every sound is magnified and the crinkle of the condom wrapper as he tears it open makes me jump.
“Hurry,” I urge him on and then shiver when his hand lands on my ass. He kneads the muscle before squeezing gently.
The anticipation of what he’s going to do to me is driving me crazy. I’m so aroused I can feel my moisture dripping down my thighs and at his first thrust, I’m so wet I take him in one smooth stroke.
I’m pushing back to meet him, taking him so deep this way and I know I’ll still be feeling it tomorrow. But as I let go and shatter for the second time I realize that’s what I want.
I want to feel him tomorrow and every day after that.
†
Sex in the past was always a quick, rushed thing, a little shameful and a lot awkward. It was something I had to do to scratch an itch. I’ve never wanted to wallow in someone’s touch, absorb their every breath and stay skin to skin.
I never knew I could crave someone’s touch.
After getting rid of the condom, Luke hasn’t let go of me once. Even now, instead of rolling over and falling asleep like most guys, he has me cradled in his arms. He’s up on his forearms keeping his weight off me, kissing every inch of my face.
The whisper of his lips over my skin is so soft it almost tickles. It’s so sweet, it’s like he’s just breathing me in because he can’t get enough but it’s also extremely relaxing. It’s the perfect come down after the intensity of making love.
I didn’t even know it was possible to feel so much, so fast.
My back aches a little from when I was arching off the bed. Aches. I have a sex injury. The thought is so ridiculous that I have to hold back a giggle. Boring Sarah Parker has finally had the kind of wild, crazy sex that leaves you hurting for days afterward.
“Did I hurt you? Be honest,” he whispers.
I push back slightly so I can see his eyes. The worry in them absolutely melts me. He’s looking me over like he’s worried I’ll break any minute.
“You didn’t do anything I wasn’t begging you for.”
My breathing gets deeper just thinking about some of the things I said in the heat of the moment. I have no doubt that I was actually begging at some point.
“I’m glad you came with me tonight. Not just because of this, either. Having you there made it so much easier.”
He lowers his forehead until it touches mine and we stay like that for a few moments just breathing the same air.
“Were you nervous about being in the wedding?”
I’m curious about how I could have made things easier for him. If anything I expect that my presence stirred up a lot of questions. After all, his family and friends admitted they aren’t used to seeing him with anyone.
“No. It’s not that.”
He hesitates and his eyes search mine. It’s usually me with the confessions so my hands instinctively come up to caress his back. I know how hard it can be to bear your soul to someone, unsure of what their reaction might be.
“It’s just that my brothers … well, they’ve always had someone. Tank and Finn grew up together and so did Gabe and Zack.”
“But you were alone,” I finish for him after he pauses. He nods.
Suddenly I understand their strange dynamic better. Luke loves his brothers, I can tell, but there are times when it seems like he’s standing back and observing them, unsure of where he fits in.
He’s told me before how it was being the biracial kid of a single mother. How he felt like an interloper even among his own family at times. Like me, he’s always felt like he’s on the outside looking in.
“You’re not alone anymore,” I promise.
If I hadn’t met Luke, I would have never experienced this closeness. Never known that I could be so comfortable with someone and feel so cherished. I’m not even sure what to do now.
Part of me wants to throw my arms around him and never let him leave this bed but I don’t want him to think I’m needy or get freaked out. For all I know it wasn’t as great for him. Maybe he has mind-blowing sex all the time and this is just another night.
He lowers himself next to me but still doesn’t let go. Instead, his arm comes around my waist. With one swift tug, he anchors me to him. Cozied up under his arm, I’m enveloped in his body heat from head to toe.
“Do you need anything, baby?”
Is he joking? What would he do, I wonder, if I said I was ready for round three? I can’t even laugh at the idea, I’m too tired. All I can do is muster a satisfied sigh.
“Mmm, I’m good. What about you?”
His deep chuckle rumbles against my hair. “I have what I need.” His arm tightens around me.
We stay just like that, breathing together. Just when I’m on the verge of sleep, he speaks. His voice in the quiet room startles me.
“You know, you can still call on me when you need me, right? You can tell me anything.”
Suddenly I’m wide awake. Now that I’ve burned off all the champagne, it’s so tempting to confess it all. The idea of not having half-truths and outright lies between us would be wonderful but I can’t risk it. The only thing I’ve ever had for sure is Grace and I’ll do anything to protect that.
She’s the only family I have. What if Luke doesn’t understand why I did it? Then I’ll lose him and Grace.
“I know,” I say finally.
That seems to satisfy him because he just squeezes me tighter and dots several sleepy kisses on the back of my neck. I fall asleep wishing I could be satisfied so easily.
†
Later that night, I wake. I’m not used to sleeping in this room so I’m momentarily disoriented. Luke is on the other side of the bed typing on his laptop. At some point he must have gotten up because he’s got on a T-shirt and some boxer shorts. His brow is crinkled as he types, like he’s troubled. It’s surprising how much it bothers me to see him like that. Immediately I want to comfort and help him.
I sit up and all my muscles protest. That’s when I remember exactly why I’m in this room. And what we were up doing half the night.
He glances over at me. When he sees how slowly I’m moving, he gives me a sheepish smile. “Sore, huh?”
“Yeah. We were a little enthusiastic earlier.”
He puts his laptop on the night table. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“I’m a light sleeper. That’s not your fault. I’ve always had trouble sleeping.” You’d think it would be impossible for me to be bashful after the things we did earlier, the places I had my mouth, but somehow I still manage it. I can barely look him in the eye.
“Me too. My mom used to say my mind was too busy.” He moves closer and pulls me against him.
I snuggle up to him, burying my face in his shirt and directly into that perfect Luke smell.
“Busy. I like that. It makes me feel productive instead of defective. Do you mind if I do some work, too? Or are you ready to go back to sleep now?”
“No, go ahead. I rarely sleep regular hours.”
I get out of bed before remembering that I’m completely naked. His eyes roam over me hungrily as I hastily snatch the sheet from the end of the bed and wrap it around me. His eyes follow my movements as I edge out of the room.
My laptop bag is in the living room next to the couch. I grab my laptop and carry it back to bed with me. Luke is absorbed in whatever he’s working on so I open my email and start deleting all the junk mail.
Then I see a message from an unfamiliar address. When I look closer, I realize that it’s an FBI email address. The subject simply says status update.
I freeze, my eyes darting over to Luke. His eyes are still glued to his screen so I open the email.
ETA on project. Please respond.
There’s no signature but I don’t need one to know who it’s from. Agent Walker has been completely quiet over the past week but did I seriously think he was going to give me an unlimited timeframe to get the job done? He was explicit in his instructions. Get him a way into Luke’s computer and he would take care of the rest.
In exchange, I would get immunity for all my past indiscretions and he’d ensure that my petition for custody of Grace would go through.
But I should have known that there would be unforeseen repercussions of this Faustian bargain. I never thought it would be easy to betray a friend but Agent Walker had assured me that Luke wasn’t their target. They just wanted to get intel on his father.
It hadn’t seemed like such a bad exchange at the time. After all, I knew that Luke didn’t even know his father.
But after meeting his brothers and their wives and girlfriends, it doesn’t seem like such a simple exchange. What if something they find out has repercussions for one of his brothers? I have no way of knowing if something on his computer could implicate one of them. Everything that seemed so crystal clear a week ago is suddenly complicated as hell.
I delete the email and then clear my trash. I’m really good at putting my head in the sand and for once I don’t berate myself for it. This night with Luke has been one of the best in my life and I don’t want to let anything intrude on that. Tomorrow is soon enough to face the consequences of my actions.
Luke closes his laptop and puts it back on his nightstand.
I look up and force a smile. “Are you ready to sleep? I’m done.” I close my computer too and set it gently on the floor.
When I turn back around, I notice my sheet is slipping. I grab at it but it keeps moving downward. That’s when I realize it’s not slipping.
Luke is pulling it off.
He yanks harder and the sheet slides off completely. My nipples pebble in the cool air. Desire returns so swiftly I’m left light-headed. His head descends and goosebumps spread everywhere his lips touch.
As he kisses his way up my leg, I finally gather my voice enough to ask, “Aren’t we going to sleep now?”
He looks up from the cradle of my thighs. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
chapter eleven
†
LUKE
The next morning I wake early. Seven is curled up next to me and somehow seeing her there seems … right. Like it’s where she should have always been. I climb out of bed carefully and then tuck the blanket back around her. She sighs in her sleep and burrows deeper into the warmth. I kiss her forehead and then close the door to the room as I step out into the hall.
While the coffee is brewing, I check my email. I grin when I see that my father’s assistant is apparently an insomniac, too. She read the email I sent sometime last night. Five minutes later, she clicked the link and entered her password.
“Just like riding a bike,” I whisper.
I use the passcode she’s provided to log on to Max’s company server using her first initial and last name. It’s a gamble. I’m assuming she’s using the same password for her company access that she uses at the bank but so many people do that it’s a pretty safe bet. Sure enough, it works and I now have access to her email, calendar, and all her files. She’s pretty organized which makes it easier to know what to bypass. She even has a folder labeled Mr. Marshall.
I sip my coffee as I take a stroll through her system. It doesn’t take long before I come across a Word document labeled Just in Case that has all the passwords for Max’s accounts listed out. I shake my head. This is almost too easy.
That’s when I start reading his email.
Most of it is boring and I can tell his assistant writes most of these messages. There are a lot of emails asking for him to fund certain business ventures or about social events he’s declined to attend. It’s hard to determine what my father actually does for a living but from his correspondence it appears he mainly tells other people what to do.
Then I notice an email marked for deletion. Even though it’s not in the Inbox anymore, it hasn’t been cleared from his Trash yet. The sender is listed as Cabhan Marshall.
It’s an innocuous looking message at first glance, something about the sale of a pair of old golf clubs. But the fact that there are no other messages from this sender in his Inbox at all makes me curious. If the message is so innocent, why delete it?
And the idea of billionaire industrialist Max Marshall buying used anything is just ridiculous.
I start combing through his messages more carefully and notice a few others that seem to be about random things. If it’s some kind of code then I can’t decipher it but maybe the FBI can. My father even has a Facebook account which I log in to just to see if he’s ever used it.
I find Cabhan Marshall in his friends list and copy some of his profile pictures. I’m able to find names corresponding to the senders of a few other weird emails so I grab pictures for them, too.
When I first found out that my father wanted back into my life, of course I started digging around for information. I found out about his ties to the Irish Mafia even before he told us himself. His story about breaking free from the secretive fringe group Le Fírinne' was at times unbelievable and other times heartbreaking.
For the first time since he came back into our lives, my resolve to have nothing to do with him wavered. All things considered, my father appeared to be a man born into bad circumstances who did everything he could to get out.
The day he told us his story, after Gabe was stabbed by one of Max’s nephews who works for the family, Max seemed to understand why I stayed away. He told us himself that leaving us behind was the best thing he could do for us.
He wanted us to have the chance to grow up independent of the criminal element he could never escape.
Once I realized the authorities were hot on his trail, I tried to warn my brothers to stay away from him, too. Not that it did any good.
But I knew that the only thing protecting me was my determination to stay as far away from Max Marshall as possible. Any contact could make me seem complicit in whatever shady dealings Max still has in the works and even if I had no sense of self-preservation, I wouldn’t want that element anywhere near my mom.
My goal is to grab anything and everything that might have some relevance. I’ll comb through it later and delete anything I think could implicate Max directly but it’s probably going to be hard to keep him out of this completely. Based on what Max told us himself, he played an integral role in Le Fírinne' since his youth.
I transfer everything to my own server and then make a few changes to Max’s calendar. It’s going to take some time to go through everything. Just thinking about it makes me tired but it’s necessary.
I need all the ammunition I can get if I’m going to negotiate with the FBI. Especially since I don’t know what they have on Seven in the first place.
There’s a chance I can’t bargain my way out of this but I’ll be damned if I don’t try.
†
I arrive at the restaurant in Norfolk for my meeting with Max a few days later deliberately early. I want to be here when my father walks in but I also wanted to get out of the house.
Things have been tense over the last few days. Seven has been distant and nothing I’ve done has coaxed it out of her. The only time things feel right is at night when she comes to my bed.
Our connection there is just as hot as ever.
I give my name at the door as Mr. Holden Williams, which of course matches the reservation I made, and am seated immediately.
After ten minutes, the hostess appears with Max trailing slowly behind her. I’m always surprised by how old and frail he seems. His suit hangs off his frame like he’s lost a bit of weight recently and the wisps of white hair on his head don’t appear to have been combed recently. Or ever.
They stop next to the table and I stand. Max doesn’t look surprised to see me at all. Neither of us speaks.
“Is there anything else you require, sir?” She looks between us in confusion, probably wondering why we’re not greeting each other.
“No, that’ll be all.” Max dismisses her with an impatient flick of the wrist.
He sits carefully, using his cane to leverage himself down. I wait, unsure whether he needs me to help him. I’m shocked at the instinct to do so. For years, I’ve carried nothing but anger for my father but now that he’s here in front of me, I’m not mad anymore. I’m just tired.
Once he’s seated, he lets out a long sigh. “Getting old is hell.”
“You don’t seem that surprised to see me.”
He smiles at the blunt statement. “I’m old but my mind is still just as sharp as a tack. Holden and I only meet every six months or so and he always calls me first. When Carol told me I was scheduled to meet with him today, I knew something was off. My boys checked it out first.”
He looks over his shoulder and that’s when I notice the big guys sitting a few tables away.
“I figured you must have your reasons for needing to see me. Even if the method was a little unorthodox.”
“I do. I’m afraid this isn’t a social visit. I’m here to warn you. The FBI is circling and they’re trying to use me to get to you.”
His eyes meet mine. “I’m sorry they’re bothering you. They’ve been hovering in the wings for years, just waiting for me to step out of line. I get the feeling they’re disappointed every year that passes when I stay on the straight and narrow. Makes me long for the days when I could occasionally blow some shit up just to keep things interesting.”
Despite everything, I can’t help but laugh at that. I wouldn’t say I see myself in him but the next time I wonder where I inherited my penchant for giving zero fucks, I’ll remember this conversation.
“You’re a crazy old bird, you know that?”
“I’ll take that as a compliment. I always thought of myself as a phoenix. A fighter that rises from the ashes of its own demise.”
The waiter appears and we both order the special. He leaves, sensing that neither of us cares about food. As soon as he’s gone, I lean across the table.
“Look, the FBI has been trying to hack me for years. But now they’re threatening someone I love. I have to do something.”
His hand shakes as he reaches for his water glass. “What are you trying to tell me, Luke?”
When I planned this meeting, I never imagined that I’d feel so guilty. For years this man has represented nothing but pain in my life. But now that he’s here in front of me, it’s not so easy to tell him that I’m throwing him under the bus.
“I hacked into your computer system. You should tell your assistant never to click on links in emails. And to stop using the same password for everything.”
He blinks several times and then a booming laugh rings out. “I’ll do that. You’ve got balls, kid. That’s for sure.”
“This isn’t a joke. I have to give the FBI something. If I’m going to negotiate, I have to offer something they want. What they want is information about you.”
“Don’t worry about me. No matter what happens, the world will keep on spinning. It always does.”
The fact that he’s trying to reassure me makes it all the worse. He’s worried about my conscience while I’m burning his world to the ground.
“I’m going to do my best to scrub the information. Pull out anything that can implicate you directly but chances are that I’ll miss something. Consider this a friendly warning to be on your guard.”
He inclines his head in acknowledgment. “I understand. You’re just doing what you have to do. A man has to protect those he loves, a lesson I learned too late. Although I suppose if I hadn’t been so foolish once you wouldn’t be here. And I wouldn’t choose that for anything.”
He observes me quietly for a moment. There’s no denying that the way he’s looking at me is … fond. I was expecting him to be annoyed or even angry that I’ve refused to meet with him before. The last thing I was expecting was to show up and realize that he loves me.
“I just wanted to warn you ahead of time. I feel like I owe you that much.”
“You don’t owe me anything. But I thank you for it all the same.” He places his napkin down on the table and grabs his cane.
“Wait, where are you going?”
He blinks in surprise. “You brought me here to warn me. Which I appreciate. Now I’ll let you get back to that pretty little thing at your apartment.”
I don’t even bother asking how he knows about Seven. He seems to have eyes everywhere. I guess that’s a side effect of constantly worrying about someone stabbing you in the back.
“Well, don’t go yet.”
My mom has always said that kindness costs nothing but is worth everything. Considering things are probably going to get pretty dicey after this, would it really hurt for me to spend a little time with him? I look around and in that moment I make a decision.
“Stay. We’re already here. We might as well have lunch.”
He smiles tremulously and then rests his cane against the table. “Having lunch with my son. I’d like that very much.”
†
By the time I get home a few hours later, I’m running on fumes. Talking to Max was surprisingly easy and had the unwelcome side effect of making me second-guess my decision.
I’ve never missed having a father. How can you miss something you’ve never had? But I did wonder what it would be like. I watched other kids with their fathers at baseball games and at the park. It’s way too late for Max and I to ever bond that way but tonight I saw that it’s not necessarily too late for me to know him.
He’s smart and has an unexpectedly sharp sense of humor. He has all the brashness of Tank and a sense of charm that reminds me of Gabe. I can easily see bits and pieces of all of us in him and it makes me wonder what I’ve done.
Max was able to provide some details that will help me scrub the information I pulled. He told me who was friend and who was foe. But even with that information, I still have a sick sense of foreboding about this whole thing.
What if he really does end up going to prison because of me? I was so sure I wouldn’t care and one meal changed everything.
I shake off my sense of guilt as I open the door. The living room is empty but Seven’s shoes are in the middle of the floor and her favorite coffee mug is on the table. My earlier sense of unease vanishes instantly. I don’t owe anything to Max just because we’re related. I have an obligation only to myself and to those I care about. And more and more, I’m starting to consider Seven “mine.” Mine to protect. Mine to cherish.
Mine to love.
Her things look right in my place. She looks right in my place. It’s where she belongs and I’m going to fix things for her. If I give the FBI information they want, they’ll leave Seven alone.
I’ll protect her with the last breath in my body.
Things are quiet but then I hear soft singing coming from the bedroom. Seven’s probably working with headphones on again.
I pull out the laptop I bought on the way home. It doesn’t take long to configure and then pull the information from my server. I glance at my phone, occasionally referencing the list of names Max gave me as I decide what to include. Finally I have a reasonable cache of information that should keep the FBI appeased. Hopefully.
I walk back to the bathroom, leaving the laptop open on the counter. If Seven downloads whatever is on that flash drive, the FBI will get exactly what I want them to see. It’ll kill me if she does it but even if she betrays me, she’ll be protected.
I’ll keep her safe even if she doesn’t want me to. My heart won’t allow me to do any less.
