Текст книги "Love Unspoken "

Автор книги: Lisa DeJong

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Текущая страница: 3 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

ON THE WAY BACK TO THE HOTEL, he holds me close in the back of the cab, rubbing the backs of his fingers up and down my arm. His touch lulls me until my cheek rests against his chest. I watch the lights go by until the cab comes to a stop in front of the hotel.

“Can you walk?” he asks, still brushing his fingers against my skin.

“I’m just tired. I’ll be fine.”

He wraps his arm tightly around me as we make our way inside the hotel, not letting go until we’re standing in front of the door to my room.

“Lila,” he whispers so close I feel his warm breath against my lips. That little touch is all it takes before I’m leaning into him, curling his crisp, white shirt between my fingers. Without another thought, I stand on my tiptoes and press my lips to his. It’s just a touch—a soft, lingering, sweet touch—but then his strong arms wrap around me, and he pushes for something more.

His teeth tug at my lower lip then he presses me tightly against him—hips, heart, lips—and his tongue begs for entry. It feels like forever since I’ve been kissed like this, and desire grants him a key.

I remember everything about Pierce and how we got here. There’s something about a man who can kiss a woman and tell her everything he’s feeling at the same time.

Pierce leaves nothing unsaid.

Seconds…minutes…hours could have gone by with us locked in the same place. For the first time in a long time, I feel alive—like there might be something left in this life besides sadness and loneliness.

My lips are numb by the time he finally pulls away. My fingers instinctively trace where his mouth was. Powerful yet sweet. Firm yet tender. Everything he is. It takes everything I have in me to not pull him in for another.

His thumb comes up, tracing a line under my lower lip. “That was the best night I’ve had in a while,” he whispers, chest heaving up and down.

“That was the best anything I’ve had in a while.”

“If you’d let me, I’d make every moment feel just like that one.”

“Pierce—”

His finger moves up, pressing against my lips. “Don’t consider it an invitation. Consider it a reminder.”

I nod, enjoying the feel of his fingers against my sensitive skin. “You haven’t been forgotten.”

“Good,” he says, the corner of his mouth curling up. “We should get to bed. I have a feeling Wade is going to keep us busy tomorrow.”

“I can hardly wait.”

“Your sarcasm is one of the things I like about you. I never know what is going to come out of that mouth of yours, yet I expect something.”

“Can you guess what I’m going to say now?” I ask staring up into his mischievous eyes.

“No, but I know I want to hear it.”

I lift up on my tiptoes and kiss him softly. It wasn’t meant to linger, but it does. I feel stuck to him and don’t want to let go. I pull away hesitantly. “Good night.”

Turning my back to him, I fumble with my key card. It’s not a hard task by any means but I can feel his eyes burning into my back.

“Do you need help with that?”

A shiver runs down my back as his warm breath hits my neck. “I’d be okay if you weren’t staring at me.”

“Here,” he says, slipping the key out from between my fingers.

He unlocks the door easily, holding it open for me to go inside. When the door clicks shut, he’s standing in my room, staring at me.

“What are you doing?” I ask, startled.

He leans back, resting the sole of his expensive shoe against the wall. “You don’t really want to sleep alone in this big room do you?”

“Pierce—”

He shakes his head. “Let me hold you. Nothing else.”

Words want to fall from my lips, but I consider them carefully. There have been way too many forks in the road for me lately, and I’m getting so tired of having to pick my way. “Can I trust you?” I finally ask, feeling my heart pound against my chest.

What he’s offering could be the start of something perfect, or it could just be the next in a line of bad decisions I’ve made.

Without words, he walks to me, cupping my face in his cool hands. I can do nothing but look at him. He’s gorgeous and successful—a dream for most women.

But, is he my dream?

He kisses me tenderly on the forehead then stares down into my eyes. “I think you should let me stay and find out.”

I nod, mostly because I’m not ready for the night to end. Because I do trust him. Because he’s never been anything other than good to me. And mostly because I want him to stay.

“Go get changed for bed and do whatever it is you do. I’m going to run across the hall and grab a few things.”

“Here,” I say, handing him a key. “I want you to trust me, too.”

He smiles, his lips curling up in that way that gets me every time. A woman could fall in love with that smile, shower in it forever, and he’d never have to say a word.

My heart beats rapidly as I fumble through my suitcase looking for pajamas. The silk camisole I usually wear during the summer months doesn’t feel right, and it’s literally all I brought for bed. Pierce might get the wrong idea if I go there.

After a couple minutes of staring at the pile of clothes I’d brought with only a business trip in mind, I decide on a pair of black cotton running shorts and a tank top that says “Catch Me If You Can” which I’d planned on wearing for my morning workout. Not that I ever crawl out of bed early enough to make that happen.

There’s a knock at the door just as I finish brushing my teeth. Here goes nothing, I think to myself after one last look in the mirror. It’s time, Lila. It’s time to let him go.

When I see him standing outside the bathroom door, I’m startled at first, but then I remember the key I handed him, and all the fear washes away. His hair is mussed up, probably from pulling his clothes off. My eyes wander down, passing by the smile I’d just admired minutes ago to his muscular chest. No shirt. Fuck me.

My gaze passes the sculpture I probably admired a little too long down to his black athletic shorts. Great minds think alike, I guess.

“Are we going to stand here all night or are you going to let me take you to bed?” he asks, his voice sounding tired.

I find his eyes, and my voice at the same time. “I’m too tired to stand here so I guess we’ll have to go with the second option.”

He grins. “Good.”

Dear God, help me.

Without warning, he lifts me into his strong arms and starts toward the bed.

“What are you doing?” I ask, feeling my nerves kick into overtime again.

“I read your shirt and decided to accept the challenge.”

He sits me on the edge of the bed and pulls the covers back. “If we were running—like really running—you wouldn’t be able to catch me.”

“Really?” he asks, lifting a brow. I bet he runs, and I bet he does it often.

He motions for me to crawl under the covers. I continue my meaningless chatter. “Yeah, I run a few times a year at least. Usually when I’m pissed off and need time to think.”

I slowly make my way toward the pillows. “I went out for cross country in high school and didn’t make it past week one. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do it, I just didn’t like to be told to run and where and how long. But if I really want to, I can run. I can run really fast. Once—”

“Lila,” Pierce interrupts, “Tonight, I’m going to lie in this bed next to you. I’m going to wrap my arms as tightly around you as I can without smothering you. I may cover your legs with mine, and I may bury my nose in your scented hair just to remind myself who I’m with if I wake up in the middle of the night and think this is just another dream. If you’d like, I’ll even give you another goodnight kiss, but Lila, we’re not going past that. I want to take this slow. I want to know that you’re with me every step of the way. Are we clear?”

I nod, speechless. He always seems to know exactly what to say even when I don’t know what it is I need to hear. He’s the period to my sentence, and sometimes I can’t believe that he wants anything to do with me after what I put him through.

As I lay my cheek on the pillow, I watch him climb in next to me, taking a second to push the button that turns the lamp off. Only the city lights illuminate the room now. We lie facing each other. No words, just eyes reading the other’s thoughts. The position makes it impossible to think of anything but this. We might as well be in our own little world.

I think we are.

“What are you thinking about?” he whispers, gently caressing my jaw line.

“You. It’s hard to consider anything else. What about you? What are you thinking about?”

His eyes close briefly, and when he opens them, they speak of something different—hope, desire, hesitancy—it’s all there. “Have you ever dreamt of something knowing it would never happen?”

I pause, thinking back to things I probably shouldn’t be thinking about right now. After Blake left, I dreamt for days that he’d come back. I prayed for it, but he never did. And then there’s the whole idea of happily ever after … I think that’s all a dream now too. The whole exercise of thinking makes me feel like the Lila who has existed the last several months so I push it all away. “Of course,” I whisper.

“Have any of them come true?”

I shake my head. “No.”

His fingers move up, tracing subtle lines across my cheek to my lips. “Mine is right now. It’s amazing and scary at the same time.”

“Why is it scary?”

He replaces his fingertips with his mouth, giving me a kiss that feels like a gust of air against my lips. He pulls away just enough to speak. “Because I’m afraid I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning, and it’s all going to be a dream again.”

The pit that’s been lodged in my stomach since Blake left puts an end to its short-lived vacation. I’m at a point where I can’t make promises to myself, let alone someone else.

“I’m incapable of commitment right now, Pierce.”

“Can you promise me a chance?”

“I wouldn’t be here right now if I couldn’t,” I answer honestly.

His warm lips brush my forehead. “That’s all I need.”

I run the backs of my fingers along his bare shoulder. “We should get some sleep. I don’t want you to strangle Wade tomorrow.”

He chuckles, kissing my forehead yet again. “Now that I know I have a chance with you, I’m not going to do anything that might land me in prison. It would be better to hire someone else to do it after we leave town.”

Now, it’s my turn to laugh. He’s obviously put a lot of thought into this. “Okay, it’s obviously past your bedtime, Mr. Stanley. You’re starting to scare me.”

“Can I kiss you once more?”

“Please,” I say without hesitation.

It happens like a kiss in the movies the director wants you to savor. He closes the distance between us slowly, increasing the anticipation … increasing my desire. His breath hits my lips first then it finally happens—his mouth presses to mine. There’s no movement. There’s no attempt to reach deeper.

It’s everything. I feel it in places I didn’t think were capable of being touched anymore. He’s answering a prayer I didn’t even know existed.

And when I’m completely lost in it, he pulls away. It’s as if I lost the covers on a cold winter morning.

I want him back.

“Turn around,” he instructs, laying his head back on the pillow.

I comply without question, my trust fully gained by the magic of a kiss.

His arm wraps tightly around my stomach, pulling me into his warm body. “Goodnight, Lila.”

“Goodnight,” I whisper, feeling myself drifting. Sleep hasn’t been this easy since … well, since he left.

AS I START TO WAKE, I feel a warm body curled against mine—one arm firmly wrapped around my stomach and another along the top of my head. I smell Pierce’s cologne, and the dream I’d thought I had becomes real. All the memories of last night come flooding back, and a smile pulls on my lips.

I slept with Pierce. Literally just slept. The bed shifts behind me, his arm pulling me in closer. “How did you sleep?” he asks, nuzzling my hair.

“Great. I don’t think I moved an inch.”

“You make these little sounds when you sleep,” he says softly, still nuzzling.

“Like what?” I ask, keeping my eyes closed in an effort to stay in the moment.

His warm breath brushes against my ear. “You mmm in your sleep. It’s soft and sweet like the purr of a kitten,” he whispers. The way his words hit me he might as well be between my legs because I feel him there.

“Is that it?” I ask, rubbing my thighs together.

His hand slowly moves from my stomach to the outside of my thigh. “I think so. It lulled me back to sleep.” He reaches mid-thigh then moves his hand back up.

“Pierce,” I breathe. Control is something a woman thinks she has until a man touches her, especially in the morning when they are laying skin to skin with nothing else in the world to distract them. Too bad my fucking heart doesn’t control my libido.

“I can’t do this with you now. It has to be the right time, or it will never be right.” He’s struggling to hold his voice steady. If I wanted him, he’d be mine.

His hand slips down again. “Touch me,” I say, all remaining strings of control slipping from between my fingers.

His fingers still, but I hear him breathing. I hear his struggle even without words. “I can’t,” he whispers brushing his lips against my neck.

“Please. I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t ready.”

Another pause then his fingers find my bare stomach, tracing circles around my belly button.

“Please,” I whisper again, begging.

His fingers curl against my skin. He’s fighting—his heart beating against my back, his breathing growing increasingly heavier. I wiggle against him, trying to make his decision easier. Desire wins out when his hand dips beneath the band of my shorts and panties all at once.

“Is this what you want?” he asks, trailing a delicious line of kisses down my neck and shoulder.

I moan, his fingertips circling my sensitive skin.

It’s the only answer he needs before he presses deeper … harder. I’ve starved myself of lust over the last several months—to the point where I didn’t know what I was missing—and now I could orgasm all day and night and not feel as if I’ve had enough.

He shifts, suddenly, sending me on my back without his strong body to hold me steady. With the light shining through the curtains, he stares down at me and sees everything. There’s too much there I’d rather he not unravel … so much I don’t want him to know.

Closing my eyes, I rest my cheek against the soft pillow much like I’d been a couple minutes ago.

His hand stills. My eyes shoot open. He looks down at me, irritation written all over his face in simple English. “Look at me when I’m touching you. I don’t want there to be any confusion about who’s doing this to you … who’s making you feel this way.”

I read between his words. He doesn’t want me thinking about Blake, and I’m not, but I’m not thinking about him either. I’m selfish, and he knows it.

I nod hesitantly, staring up into his bright eyes. Over the last several months, I’ve developed a deep admiration for Pierce. I know what he can do—how he could be with me—and I could easily fall much deeper.

I could love him.

I don’t want to love him … I don’t want to love anyone.

Yet, I need this. I need him.

He could make me love him.

Our eyes hold as he presses one finger inside me then another. Everything is so intense—what I feel emotionally … physically. I can’t take it, but I can’t stop it either. Gripping each side of his face, I pull him down for a kiss. He’s a master at that too, gently brushing his lips to mine then pressing his tongue between them as his fingers push in further.

I feel it … the heavenly tingle that occurs right before I fall apart. It’s my favorite part—the beautifully painful ache that sweeps my body before I climax. Pierce makes it almost impossible, though. I fight it, but he wins. I come hard around his fingers, back arching to control the trembles that take over the rest of my body. Instead of breaking the kiss, he swallows my screams.

It’s amazing. It fills a void I didn’t realize I had, but I could still go again … and again … and again. He’s that good.

He breaks the kiss, looking down at me while his fingers are still deep within me. He’s putting the puzzle pieces together again, and I don’t like it.

He leans in for a kiss but stops just short. “You’ve never looked more beautiful than you do right now. Sensuality stripped you bare, and all I see is you.” He kisses the corner of my mouth then whispers, “Just you.”

His fingers work again. The second orgasm rolls through my body soon after followed by a third.

“Pierce,” I gasp, trying to catch my breath. “We can’t do this anymore, or I’m not going to be able to walk today.”

The corner of his mouth turns up. “It’s worth it though, isn’t it? I’d carry you on my back just to do this a million times over.”

God, help me.

“How about you?” I ask, turning to my side to get a better look at him. He looks just as satisfied as I feel, and I barely touched him.

The fact that his fingers are still buried inside me doesn’t go unnoticed.

“We should probably get ready for work.”

“Pierce—”

“Lila, the first time I come with you, I want to come inside of you. I control your pleasure, and I control mine.”

“It doesn’t seem fair.”

His fingers slip out of me as his hand slowly slides back up to my stomach, trailing the evidence of my desire along the way. “Watching you, being with you like this … it’s enough for me. More than enough, actually.”

In defiance, I brush my hand against his smooth stomach then let it slip further until my fingers are wrapped around his impressive bulge. His hand wraps around my wrist, pulling my fingers away. “I’m glad you follow directions a little better than this at the office, or we’d have a big problem.”

“You have a big problem, Mr. Stanley. A very big problem.” In fact, it’s the biggest problem I’ve ever come across, and I can’t help but wonder how it would feel inside me.

He smiles. “If I play my cards right, I’ll have a resolution soon enough.”

Is he right? I don’t know if I want him to be. I’m walking a dangerous line, not that I haven’t done this before a time or two.

“I slept with him last night,” I tell Mallory as soon as she picks up her phone.

“With who? With Pierce?”

“Yes,” I reply, pacing back and forth across my room. Pierce left a couple minutes ago to shower and get dressed. I finally feel as if I can breathe again.

Long pause. Damn her … she’s giving me too much time to think.

“Are you there?” I ask, needing something to fill the silence.

“I wish you hadn’t done that, Lila. You’re not ready for this … you’re not ready to put your heart on the line again.”

I shake my head, knowing full well that she can’t see me. “It’s not like that. I mean … we didn’t…” I pause, trying to grab hold of my thoughts. “I meant we slept together in the same bed.”

“That’s it?”

“And he gave me three orgasms, but not in the way you think.”

She sighs, quiet once again. “Promise me something.”

“What?”

“Don’t. Not in New York. I don’t want you getting hurt again.”

“I won’t do anything my heart won’t allow.”

“Damnit, Lila. Just listen to me on this one. Besides, your heart is broken which makes it an unreliable instrument.”

She’s right, yet she’s so wrong. The fractures haven’t healed. The bruises are still visible by those who know me. But the scars will always remain. The marks Derek made on my heart still show through from time to time. Blake was in my life for a short time, but he did the most damage; nothing will ever quite be the same, but that doesn’t mean life can’t be good. Besides, she’s one of the people who have been encouraging me to move on.

“I need this,” I finally answer back. It’s true.

“Just promise me something, Lila.”

“What?” I ask, pulling a dress from my closet.

“Don’t take it any further this week. It’s too new, and I don’t want to see you jump into another relationship. You need to walk slowly this time.”

I blow my bangs away from my face, looking to the clock. I really need to get going. “I will try really hard not to have sex with Pierce this week. Is that what you want to hear?”

“I’m so convinced,” she answers back, sarcastically.

“Good because I really need to get in the shower.”

“You’re difficult.”

I laugh, untying my robe with my free hand. “But you still love me.”

“Behave, Lila.”

“Bye, Mallory.”

Before she can get another word in, I end the call and step into the steamy shower, letting the hot beads of water hit my skin. I haven’t felt this alive in months—this aware. Pierce woke me up in more ways than one.

“Jesus Christ, Lila. Are you trying to bring attention to yourself or your designs?” Pierce asks when I meet him in the lobby.

“What?” I ask, throwing my arms up.

He motions the length of my body. “That dress. Are you trying to distract Wade or drive me crazy?”

I glance down at my form-fitting red pencil dress and four inch red pumps. Power was all I had on my mind this morning. “Is it too much red?” I tease, tucking a long curl behind my ear.

He steps close, placing his hand on my lower back to pull me into his body. I feel exactly like I did just over an hour ago when we were lying in my bed, and he wouldn’t have to do much to get this dress off me so we could do it all over again. “That dress wraps around you the way I want to be wrapped around you, and if the stares in this lobby are any indication, it’s not a dream I’m alone in.”

Leaning in closer, I whisper in his ear, “But you’re the only guy in the room who really knows what’s under this dress.”

He hardens against my stomach. I want to feel that so badly. I want him to erase some of the marks that have been left behind, to wash away my bad memories.

“Lila,” he breathes, holding me even tighter.

I stare up into his bright eyes. “Yes?”

“There’s going to be consequences for this later.”

I bite my lip. He twitches. “I’m up for the challenge.”

A throat clears behind us, breaking the stare but not the physical contact. “Mr. Stanley, your car is waiting.”

“Just wait outside. I need ten more seconds with Ms. Fields here.”

“As you wish,” he answers before disappearing.

“Can we go now?” I ask when the driver is out of earshot.

He shakes his head, letting go of me to adjust his suit. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

And, you’re going to be the life of me, I think as we make our way to the car.