Текст книги "Face of Death"

Автор книги: Kelly Hashway

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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Chapter 11

I didn’t know where to start, but at least he’d be more open to hearing the crazy things that had happened now that he saw he wasn’t in his own body.

“Am I dreaming?” Matt shook his head, still staring at his reflection—well, at Brian’s reflection. “That’s the only explanation. That’s not me. Not my face.”

“Okay, Matt, please listen to me. I am Jodi. I look different, just like you. And, no, you’re not dreaming. This is all real. It’s going to sound unbelievable, but I need you to trust me.”

He raised his eyes to me. “Jodi? It’s really you?”

I nodded, tears forming in my eyes.

He rushed over to me, pressing his lips against mine. I froze, not knowing what to do. He thought we were still together. Matt didn’t know anything about me and Alex. To him, I was still his girlfriend. I was human now, which meant that he and I could be together. That fact wasn’t lost on me, but neither was the fact that I loved Alex. Still, my unresolved feelings for Matt were lingering, keeping me from pulling out of the kiss.

My lips gently parted, and without really meaning to, I was kissing him back. This was how our first kiss should’ve been. I wouldn’t stop his heart this time. Being with him felt right. In this moment, being with Matt was what made sense.

But Alex. I slowly pulled away from Matt, leaning my head against his chest. Tears dripped onto his hospital gown. My tears. For once, I didn’t have to worry about what that would mean. I wasn’t a danger to him.

“Don’t cry. I’m here. I don’t know what happened to us, but it’ll be okay. I promise.” Great. Now he was the one reassuring me. This wasn’t at all what was supposed to happen.

“You don’t understand.” I stood up straight, trying to find the courage to break his heart. We couldn’t be together. No matter how right that kiss had felt, it couldn’t happen again. I wouldn’t do that to Alex. I wouldn’t cheat on him. Crap! Technically, I already had, but I was putting an end to it now. I wasn’t the kind of girl to kiss another guy behind her boyfriend’s back, but this was such a gray area. I was technically Matt’s girlfriend, so I’d technically cheated on him with Alex. Only Matt had died, and that sort of ended our relationship, whether he was aware of it or not. Now, I was Alex’s girlfriend, and here I was kissing Matt. Ugh! I hated technicalities. There wasn’t room for them when it came to human emotions.

“Jodi, what is it? Do you know what happened to us?” He was looking at me like he just wanted to make things better—for me. All he cared about was me. God, this was going to be so hard.

“We’re in other people’s bodies. I promise I’ll explain everything, but right now we need to get out of here without anyone seeing us.”

“How? We’re in hospital gowns, and we don’t have money to take a cab anywhere.”

He was right. I looked around, spotting the files at the ends of our gurneys. I pulled out Liz’s. “Elizabeth Roseman. It says she didn’t have any living relatives.”

Matt pulled Brian’s file. “Brian Gehris. That’s whose body I’m in?”

“Yes.”

Matt shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around everything I was telling him. “Personal belongings. He must have had a wallet on him when he died, right? The file says he was killed in a car accident.”

I looked around again, wondering if they’d have personal belongings stored in here to return to the families. Not likely. This place was empty, sterile. “There’s nothing here.”

“Okay, then how about…” Matt walked to the closet in the corner and pulled out some hospital scrubs and white sneakers.

“Perfect!” I motioned for Matt to turn around while I got dressed. Just like always, he was a perfect gentleman. My sneakers were big, but they’d do. Once we were both outfitted like hospital staff, we checked the hall and prepared to make our exit. We had to get out of there before someone came for the bodies. They wouldn’t leave them here for long, or they’d decay. That also meant we had to get out of this town quickly so no one recognized Liz and Brian suddenly walking around after being pronounced dead. I could see the back exit, and judging by the darkness on the other side of the window, it was night. That would help. We kept our heads down and walked out of the morgue as if we worked there. We even took Liz and Brian’s files and pretended to study them to avoid talking to anyone we passed on the way out.

Outside, we ditched the files in the dumpster and walked down the road and across the street to a cemetery, of all places. At least I felt at home in one of those.

“I can’t believe we pulled that off,” Matt said.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and took Matt’s hands in mine. Yeah, Alex wouldn’t like this either. Still, I owed it to Matt to be gentle. He’d been nothing but good to me. “Matt, there’s something you don’t know about me. I’m not who you think I am.”

He raised his hand to my head. “Did you hurt yourself? Were we knocked out? You’re not making sense. I know you. I knew you the day I met you. When Melodie introduced us, I could tell you were an amazing person. You’re sweet and caring. Not to mention you’re smoking hot. I have to admit I don’t like this blonde look on you, though. It’s all wrong.”

I couldn’t have this conversation right now. “We need to get out of here.” I didn’t want to stick around the cemetery. It was too close to the hospital, and someone might see us.

“Where do you want to go?”

“We should find some other clothes so we don’t stick out in a crowd.”

“Where are we?” Matt looked around. “This doesn’t look like the cemetery at home.”

“I don’t really know. We’ll have to figure that out.” I scouted out the road. “For now, let’s just get out of here. We can talk on the way.”

He took my hand, lacing his fingers through mine as we walked. “I think someone did some sort of spell on us. You know, like witches or something. I never thought they were real, but how else do you explain this?”

A nervous laugh escaped my lips. “How about a group of necromancers called the Ophi raised our souls and put us in the bodies of two recently killed teenagers?”

He cocked his head at me. “Is this some prank? Are you in on it? Should I be looking for Melodie lurking in the shadows?”

“No.” I squeezed his hand. “Do you trust me? Really trust me?”

The smile left his face. “Jodi, look. There’s something I want to say. I know it’s early, we’ve only been dating for a little while, but I meant what I said about when we first met. I felt like I knew you. The whole time we were friends, before we started dating, I kept wishing you’d look at me the way I looked at you.”

Oh, God, where was he going with this? Please, don’t let him say the L-word. I couldn’t handle it right now.

“I don’t want to scare you away, but I can’t hold this in any longer. Jodi—”

“Matt, don’t.”

“I love you.”

My insides felt like they’d turned to stone. My heart wasn’t able to pump blood to the rest of my body. I felt too heavy to hold myself up. Thankfully, we were at the gate at the other end of the cemetery, so I used it for support as we kept moving.

“It’s okay if you don’t love me back. I know it’s soon.” He brushed my hair off my shoulder. “But I do love you, Jodi. So, if you want to know if I trust you, the answer is yes. With all my heart.”

I lost it. I cried, big heaping sobs. This would’ve been easier if Matt remembered me killing him. If he remembered being a zombie and killing that bunny. If he remembered that I’d been the one responsible for his death, not once but twice. Instead, he loved me.

“Please, don’t cry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He tugged my hand, making me stop, and raised my chin. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to mine.

Damn it! Why wasn’t I stopping him?

“You died,” I blurted out.

Matt pulled away, looking shocked. “I don’t know what’s going on, why we were in that morgue or these bodies, but we aren’t dead.” He reached for my hand, taking it in both of his.

“Not anymore, but we were.” I started walking again, preparing to let it all out. Everything from start to finish. “You remember being at my house and kissing me, right?”

“Yeah.” He dragged the word out, not sure where I was going with this. I wasn’t so sure either. How did I explain the next part?

“All right, well, something happened when we kissed.” The way he was staring at me was tearing me up inside. Here I was telling him unbelievable things, and he was just looking at me like he wanted to kiss me again. “You died that day, Matt. It was my fault. My blood isn’t like yours. It’s poisonous. I didn’t know it when we got together. Things started happening to people and animals around me. I was killing people with my tears and my blood, and I brought a deer, a squirrel, and a rat back to life with it, too.”

“Oh, Jodi, what happened to you?” He thought I’d lost my mind.

“I was born this way, but my powers didn’t kick in until just recently. I’m not human, Matt. I’m a necromancer.”

“A necromancer? Isn’t that someone who can raise the dead?” He was honestly trying to follow along with me, which just proved what a great guy he was. He should’ve been cursing and telling me I was crazy. But Matt was amazing. I’d forgotten how much I cared about him.

“Yes. I was born under the thirteenth sign of the zodiac, Ophiuchus. People like me have Gorgon blood in our veins. It’s poisonous to humans.”

“Whoa, this is sounding a lot like a lecture Mr. Quimby gave in lit class. Did he put you up to this?”

I sighed. “It’s not a joke, Matt. I’m being completely serious.”

Just like that he nodded, taking my word for it and waiting for me to continue.

“I’m a descendent of Medusa. When you kissed me, my blood poisoned you and stopped your heart.” The warmth running down my face was the only indication that I was crying. “I didn’t mean to kiss you. When I found out what I was—what I am—I was going to end it, stop seeing you. I didn’t want to hurt you. I cared about you so much. But before I could explain, you kissed me, and I couldn’t even think because I’d wanted to kiss you for weeks. I think I might have been falling in love with you, and I got so wrapped up in the moment that—”

He pulled me to him and kissed me again. My God, why wouldn’t he stop doing that? I pulled back, and he smiled. Not at all the reaction I was expecting. “If I wasn’t trapped in someone else’s body, I’d tell you you’re crazy.”

“Sometimes, I think I am.”

He brushed the tears from my cheek. It wasn’t fair. I could touch him now without hurting him. Now that I could be with him, I wasn’t available.

“What changed? Why can I kiss you now? And how am I alive and in this body?”

I started walking again. I had to keep us moving, no matter how much Matt wanted to stop and talk about all this. “I raised you…and myself. This isn’t really me, not all of me anyway. I sort of pissed off Hades, and he took me and the other Ophi to the underworld. I raised the human half of my soul. It sort of died a couple months back when I drank Medusa’s blood.”

“You drank blood?” His voice cracked. Finally, I’d freaked him out.

“It sounds worse than it was. I had to do it. I would’ve died if I didn’t. Alex would’ve died.”

“Alex?” He stiffened. “You mean that guy—”

“I-I’m with him.”

Matt’s eyes widened, and his jaw clenched. “That’s not funny, Jodi. I’m sorry if I freaked you out when I said ‘I love you,’ but don’t you think you’re going a little too far? I mean, that’s the guy who stalked you, who assaulted me.”

“I know, but there’s an explanation for all that.”

Matt’s face twisted in disgust. I reached for him, but he pulled away.

“Alex was only trying to help me. I just didn’t know it. He’s like me. He saved my mom. I killed her, Matt. It was an accident. We were cooking, and I cut my hand. I tried to stay away, to tell her the truth about me, but she grabbed my hand and then… If Alex hadn’t been there, she’d be dead. He saved her, and then I left. I went with him to a school to study with other Ophi. He’s really sweet.”

“How soon?”

“How soon what?”

“How soon after I died did you take off with him?”

I closed my eyes, feeling the threat of tears again. “Matt.”

“I have to know. I’m trying to be really patient and understanding right now, but I need to know this.”

“I don’t want you to hate me. I was crushed when you died.”

“How soon?”

Payback really was a bitch. This was proof. I was paying for everything I’d done wrong. This was supposed to be my way of making up for all the things I’d done to Matt. I’d saved him from the underworld, yet here he was with me and in more pain than he’d been in Hades’ hands.

I bit my lower lip and inhaled deeply. “I left the night of your funeral.”

A strange half-cough, half-laugh escaped Matt’s lips. “The night of my funeral? Wow.”

“My mom died. I couldn’t stick around and chance killing her again. What if Alex wasn’t there when it happened again? I couldn’t risk it.”

“And when did you and Alex…” He couldn’t even say the words.

“It sort of happened gradually. I didn’t plan on it. You have to understand it nearly killed me to lose you.” I didn’t want to tell him about me bringing him back wrong, about how I watched him rip apart a bunny with his teeth. He didn’t need to know that.

Refusing to look at me, Matt stared off at the open road as we kept in the cover of the trees. “Does he treat you well?”

“Do you really want to talk about him?” I didn’t want to rub his face in the fact that I’d moved on. He didn’t deserve that.

“No. How long has it been since I died, and why am I in the wrong body now?”

“A few months. I couldn’t bring you back. Not at first, anyway. When Hades took me and the others to the underworld, I found you. You were wandering around in this place called the Fields of Asphodel. I didn’t think you belonged there. You’re too good to be trapped in an afterlife where you felt nothing at all. And when you recognized me, I knew I had to free you, raise your soul. I found a young couple who’d just died, and I raised us both.”

He turned to me, meeting my eyes for the first time in minutes. “You wanted to be with me again? Is that why you did this?”

I could’ve lied, made him believe I did this all for us, but when I returned my soul, it would crush his heart all over again.

“I have to free my friends. They’re trapped and being tortured. My body is still being tortured, too. My soul can’t stay split like this.”

“So, we can’t be together, even though you’re human right now.”

“I won’t be human for long.” He was silent for a while, and I didn’t know what to say to make this easier on him.

“Do you need help finding a way to free your friends?”

I nodded. “But I understand if you don’t want to help me.”

He took my hand and squeezed it. “I’ll help you. I can’t change the way I feel about you, though.”

Did he hate me now? Was that what he was trying to tell me?

“I won’t try to pressure you into changing your mind about me, but I won’t hide my feelings either. I’m still in love with you.”

Pain tore through my insides. It was going to be torture for both of us to be this close and unable to act on all these unresolved feelings. My body felt like it was being hit by a thousand hammers at once.

“Jodi?” Matt squinted at me and grabbed me by my shoulders as my eyes rolled back into my head.

It wasn’t heartache I was feeling. My body was being tortured in Tartarus, and the pain was forcing me to tune into the Ophi half of my soul.

Chapter 12

I cried out in pain, and Matt carefully lowered me to the grass so I wouldn’t hurt myself. I saw glimpses of Victoria looming over me, smiling as she continued to deliver my torture. “Service with a smile,” she’d called it. She was talking to me, but I couldn’t hear her over my own screams. I felt the hellfire burning me from the inside out. This wasn’t the normal torture. I wasn’t reliving a death I’d caused. Victoria was burning me the same way Hades had after I’d raised the entire cemetery in my sleep.

“You ready to torture your father’s soul yet?” Victoria asked, easing up only enough for me to answer.

My dad? “No!” What had I missed? Hades was torturing me by trying to make me torture my own father?

“Then I guess I get the pleasure of torturing you both.” Victoria smiled, and I turned to see my seventeen-year-old father on the ground next to me in Tartarus. His eyes said he was more concerned for me than himself.

“Jodi!” My name echoed in my ears. Matt’s hand was on my face. “Look at me. Focus on me.” His voice was firm, demanding my attention.

I choked back the fire in my throat. My eyes watered, and I clenched my teeth against the searing pain shooting through me. Dad’s cries tore through me worse than the hellfire.

“Jodi!” Matt was screaming now. “Damn it, listen to me!” Matt had never yelled at me. Never cursed at me.

I opened my eyes, seeing double. Victoria’s image hovered over Matt’s with a faint ghostly glow.

“Good,” Matt said. “Tune it out. It’s just me, okay. You’re not there. You’re here with me.” He took my face in his hands. Please, don’t kiss me. Alex—he was near me, near my body in Tartarus. Matt leaned toward me as I shoved the image of the underworld out of my mind. I turned my head away from Matt, and he paused inches from my face.

“I’m okay now.” But my dad wasn’t. I never thought I’d see him again, but of course Hades would make me watch Dad suffer.

Matt hung his head in relief. “I was trying to shock you out of it. I wasn’t really going to kiss you again. I know you’re with… I guess it worked.”

“I’m going to have to learn to keep those thoughts out. Hopefully, my Ophi half is doing a better job tuning out what’s going on here.”

“It’s almost like you’re two people now.”

“I know. Even with all the crazy things I’ve been going through, this tops them all.”

“You okay to get up?”

I nodded. “I think so.”

He gave me his hand and pulled me up, going slowly to make sure I was really all right. “What do we do now?”

“I have to get back to the school. Medusa’s spirit is trapped in a statue we have there. Normally, I can call her and she’ll appear in my mind, but I don’t have any of my Ophi powers now. I’m hoping, if I connect to the statue, I’ll be able to talk to her.”

Matt rubbed the back of his neck. “Medusa’s spirit? Really?”

“I know how it sounds, but it’s true. Listen, you don’t have to come along. You can start over. Go somewhere no one knows Brian.”

“I don’t have anyone anymore.” He looked down at his feet. “Except you.”

“Do you want to come with me?”

“Do you mind?”

“No. Actually, I was kind of hoping you’d come along. We didn’t really get to say goodbye to each other. I’ve been carrying the memory of you and the last time we were together for months now. I’d like a better memory for when I—”

“Go back to being Ophi and can’t be around me anymore?” His big brown eyes spoke volumes.

“You know, all Ophi have green eyes. It’s really nice to see your brown eyes again, even if these aren’t really yours.”

He smiled. “I always loved your eyes.”

Things were getting weird again. These feelings just wouldn’t go away, especially when we stared into each other’s eyes like this.

“We should go. We can’t exactly stay in this town. Someone will recognize Liz and Brian.” We started walking again. Our only chance of not drawing attention to ourselves was to find one of those donation bins and get some normal clothes.

We came to a fork in the road. “Which way?” Matt asked.

Neither of us had a clue where we were. “Let’s go right,” I said. “It’s the right side of Medusa’s body—and mine—that has the power to restore life. Seems like a good way to go.”

“Whatever you say.” Matt smiled at me, a smile that said he’d follow me anywhere. This was not going to be easy. Matt was a gentleman, and I knew he wouldn’t try anything as long as I was adamant about Alex. But what if my human soul couldn’t hold on to my Ophi feelings for Alex?

We walked along the road in silence. No cars drove by, and the streetlights were few and far between. I tripped over a dead animal, and Matt grabbed my arm to keep me from faceplanting in the dirt on the shoulder of the road.

“You know, a few months ago, I would’ve been afraid I’d raise the poor thing.”

“I still can’t believe you can do that.”

“It takes some getting used to.”

We came to a traffic light, and we both smiled. This was a good sign. It meant we were getting closer to civilization. Maybe we’d find somewhere to get clean clothes. At this point, I wasn’t opposed to stealing from a clothing store. I’d find a way to pay for it later.

“Right again?” Matt asked at the intersection.

I nodded. It was only our second right so we wouldn’t be heading in a circle or square that would lead back to the hospital or cemetery.

We walked about another half mile before we started to see lights. Neon lights.

“Stores!” I never thought I’d be so happy to see a store, especially a drugstore.

“Look.” Matt sounded equally as happy. He pointed to the sign across the street from the drugstore. It was a secondhand shop, and outside was a donation bin.

“Yes!” I whirled around and hugged Matt. He lifted me off the ground and squeezed me. Our faces were inches apart, and we stared at each other. My smile slowly faded, and I lowered my eyes. “Sorry.”

Matt didn’t say a word as he lowered me to the ground. “Ladies first.” He motioned for me to lead the way.

Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex. Alex was counting on me. He was probably worried sick about me. I couldn’t do anything to jeopardize what I had with him. Matt was only temporary. I wouldn’t be human forever. I tried so hard to convince myself of all these things. To be rational. Only … the human heart isn’t rational. A huge part of me wanted to finish what Matt and I had started.

The metal container creaked as Matt held open the lid. “So, do I dive in and start digging for something appropriate?”

“How about you reach in? I don’t want to have to pry you out of there if you get stuck.”

He laughed. “Okay.” He reached his arms in and pulled out a yellow tube top. I shook my head, and he tried again. This time he got a pair of neon-green pants.

“Oh, they’re so you,” I said.

“Remember you have to be seen with me.”

“Touché.”

Matt reached in again. “Oh, I’ve got the perfect outfit for you. So perfect that I’ll agree to wear the green pants if you put this on.” This was going to be bad. Matt held up the most hideous floral and paisley-print dress that only a senile old great-great-grandma would wear. “What do you think?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think it goes with my eyes. Darn.” I faked an upset tone.

“All right, your turn. I can’t reach anything else.”

“My arms are shorter than yours. How do you expect me to reach in there?”

“I’ll hold you up. I bet you’d fit in there just fine.”

“You won’t let me fall in?” I knew he wouldn’t. I trusted Matt with my life. The only reason I’d asked was because…well, I was flirting. I cursed myself for it.

“I’d never let anything happen to you.” He was dead serious.

I nodded, and he waved me closer. As I put my hands on the metal container, Matt placed his hands on my waist. He counted to three and lifted me up. Leaning forward, I reached both my arms into the container. I was dangling upside-down, held up by Matt’s arms. I tried to push the warm feel of his touch from my mind as I sifted through the clothes. Most were nowhere near my size or Matt’s. I was about to give up hope when I found what felt like a t-shirt and a pair of jeans near the bottom of the bin. They felt big, so I guessed they were men’s. I also grabbed another smaller pair of jeans and a lightweight zip-up hoodie.

“Okay. Pull me out of here.”

Matt carefully brought me back out of the container. His body pressed up against mine. He cleared his throat and backed away, running his fingers through his hair and avoiding my eyes. Yup. We both felt the pull between us.

I forced myself to look at the clothes in my hands under the light of the thrift store sign. “Hopefully these will work.” I handed Matt the jeans and shirt.

“We should find a bathroom.” He pointed to the gas station two stores down. “That’ll work.”

We walked in silence again. I wished Matt and I could go back to the way we used to be, when we were just friends. I missed him, and this tension between us was unbearable. We decided it wasn’t safe for both of us to go inside the gas station to get the bathroom keys, so Matt went alone, while I stayed outside and worried that someone would recognize him.

A few minutes later, he came back holding two keys. “No problem. The kid working the register didn’t even look up from his phone when he gave me the keys.” Speaking of not looking up, Matt was having trouble looking at me now. Just great. This was going to be extremely awkward.

I took the key and opened the bathroom door, going straight for the sink. Seeing Liz’s face stare back at me in the mirror was the weirdest feeling. I shook it off and turned on the cold water. I needed something to shock myself out of whatever it was I was going through. I splashed water on my face, but it didn’t help at all.

I stared at the tag on the jeans. Squeezing myself into them wasn’t going to be easy. I held my breath and tugged them on. It felt like someone was strangling my waist, but I managed to button them. They actually reminded me of the jeans Melodie had made me buy. The ones I’d worn on my date with Matt. Being human again was making me tap into all those memories I’d tried to put in the back of my mind when I became the leader of the Ophi. I wondered if my Ophi memories would fade while I was here. I couldn’t imagine Alex becoming nothing but a memory.

A knock on the door made me jump. I took one last look at Liz’s reflection—now my reflection—and stepped outside.

Matt held his hands out at his sides. “Well, what do you think?” He had on a deep orange shirt. I used to love him in that color. Something about his dark hair and eyes against the rich orange was really … sexy. But Matt wasn’t a brunette anymore. He was a blond. The color didn’t have the same effect on his features.

“Looks a little snug.” I stuck to safe comments, ones that didn’t comment on how hot I’d thought he was—the real Matt, at least.

“Yours, too. Though I remember the jeans you wore on our date to that nightclub, Serpentarius, were killer on you. This girl doesn’t…well, she’s not you.”

Yeah, I knew what he meant. Not that I was complaining about Liz. She was pretty fit, but too teeny tiny—though not as tiny as these size-zero jeans. I wasn’t exactly big, but I had a few inches on her—not to mention a few curves.

I fidgeted, feeling uncomfortable, which was ridiculous considering I wasn’t even in my own body. “Um, I guess we should figure out where we are.”

“Already found out. When I was in the convenience store, I checked out the paper. We’re in some town called Springfield.”

“That doesn’t exactly narrow it down. There are a ton of Springfields across the country.”

“Not a problem. Did you really think I’d leave it at that? I checked out a few brochures they had for activities in the area. I’m pretty sure I know where we are.” Of course he did, because Matt was perfect. He thought of everything.

“How far from home?”

“I’m guessing about four hours by bus.”

“Bus?”

“Yup. Next one leaves at six. We’ve got two hours.”

Alone with Matt for two hours waiting for a bus. I would’ve killed for this opportunity a few months ago. Now, it terrified me. Even when I wasn’t a threat to him, I was still afraid to be around him. “We don’t have any money.”

Matt looked away as if ashamed. “I sort of stole some money from the register.”

“What? How?” Matt wasn’t the type to steal. I couldn’t imagine how he’d pulled this off.

“I told the kid the coffee maker was empty, so when he went to refill it…” He shrugged.

I couldn’t complain. We needed money, and Matt had done what he had to in order to get us out of this town. He was protecting me, even if it meant doing something completely out of character.

“We should go to the bus station and try to get some sleep.” Matt cocked his head at me. “What is it? Why do you look like you lost your puppy?”

How did I explain this to him? Well, Matt, after splitting my soul, I feel like a complete psycho with a split personality. I still love Alex, but looking at you, I just want to throw myself in your arms and kiss you.

“Just tired, I guess.” Yeah, that was a better answer.

“The cashier said the bus station was two blocks down on the left.”

A car pulled into the parking lot, so we decided to leave the bathroom keys in the door locks instead of risking going back inside the store again. The fewer people who saw us, the better. While we walked, I kept my hands shoved in my pockets. I wasn’t afraid of Matt trying to hold my hand. I was afraid of me wanting to hold his. I loved Alex, and if I was fully in the underworld with him, it would be his arms I’d want around me. His hand I’d be holding. But this part of me—my completely human soul—had never been with Alex. Matt and I had a history together, one based on me being normal, not Ophi.

We stepped into the bus station and found the bus we needed. Matt pointed the way, gently placing his hand on the small of my back. He used to do that all the time when we walked down the halls at school, but now…

He looked down at his hand. “Sorry. Old habits and all that.”

I shook my head. “It’s okay.” No, it wasn’t.

I looked at the empty wooden bench. It wasn’t exactly sanitary.

“Here.” Matt sat down and motioned for me to join him. “You can put your head in my lap so your hair doesn’t stick to whatever this substance is coating the bench. My guess is year-old chewing gum and…well, I don’t want to know what else.”

Put my head in his lap and sleep? That was way too intimate.

“Jodi.” He frowned at me. “You know you can trust me. I’m not going to do anything to you while you sleep.”

He wasn’t the one I was worried about. “I know that.” It was four in the morning, and I was exhausted, so I curled up on the bench next to him and rested my head on the edge of his lap, not daring to touch any more of him than necessary.

I closed my eyes and wondered what Alex was doing.