Текст книги "Faithful"
Автор книги: Kelly Elliott
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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 25 страниц)
When Ellie called and said they were at Ari’s parents’ house, I rushed over. I couldn’t wait to see them. When I pulled up and got out of my car, they both came out of the house, each carrying a baby in their arms. I smiled as I looked at them, and then the strangest feeling came over me.
I want a baby.
I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Hey! What’s wrong? You look like you just saw a ghost! Ah shit, are you still feeling sick?” Ari asked as she turned Luke away from me.
I felt almost a hundred percent better since I had been staying at Josh’s parents’ house.
I let out a laugh. “No, I feel fine. I think it was just a stomach bug.” I ran up the steps and took Luke from Ari. “Hey there, my little man! Oh my gosh, you get bigger every time I see you!”
Luke giggled, and then he was trying like hell to get out of my arms.
“Yeah, he just wants to crawl everywhere now,” Ari said as we walked into the house.
I smiled as I looked at Ellie. She was holding Alex, and I’d never seen her look so happy in my life.
“Hey, Ells. How’s motherhood treating you, sweets?”
Ellie smiled even bigger. “It’s amazing…beyond amazing. I’m just ready to have sex though.”
“Oh. My. God. TMI, Ells,” I said as I shook my head.
I put Luke down and watched him take off. I smiled as soon as I heard Susan calling out for me to get in the kitchen and give her a hug. I walked into the kitchen, and when I stepped in, I found myself wrapped up in Sue’s embrace. She pushed me back and gave me a once-over. I smiled as she tilted her head.
“What? What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing. You just seem…different,” she said with a wink.
“Well, Jesus H. Christ, Mom. The love of her life doesn’t remember her, she left her job to keep a crazy bitch from getting her claws into said love, and she hasn’t been feeling good. Way to bust her self-esteem,” Ari said as she grabbed a jar of baby food out of her bag.
“You’re not feeling good? What’s wrong?” Sue asked as she picked up Luke and put him in his high chair.
I stood there and watched the whole scene play out. The way Ari moved around the kitchen and took care of Luke was wonderful. She seemed so happy, and her skin was glowing. I noticed she kept putting her hand on her stomach.
Oh. My. God.
“Ari!” I yelled, standing up quickly.
Ari and Sue both jumped at my sudden outburst, and Luke started laughing.
“Holy hell, Heather!” Ari said. “You just scared the piss out of me!”
“I need to talk to you. Now.”
Walking in with a bottle, Ellie stopped and looked between Ari and me.
“Um, okay…right this second, Heather?”
“Yes. Yes. Right this second. Sue, will you excuse us?”
I turned toward Ellie. “Come on Ells.”
As soon as we got on the back porch, I spun around to face Ari.
“Are you pregnant?” I busted out.
“Wait! What?” Ellie said as she turned to look at Ari.
The smile that spread across Ari’s face caused me to let out a gasp.
“Oh my god! Oh my god, Ari!” Ellie said.
“How the fuck did you know, Heather? I just found out this morning!” Ari said.
I walked over and gave her a hug. “You’re glowing like all get out, Ari, and you keep touching your stomach.”
I reached for Alex and sat down with her while Ellie took Ari in her arms.
“Does Jeff know?” Ellie asked, jumping up and down with excitement.
Ari threw her head back and laughed. “Nope. I’ve been feeling like shit, so I bought a test yesterday. I used it when we got here this morning, but then everyone started showing up. I haven’t had a chance to tell him.”
“How late are you?” I asked.
While looking down at Alex cooing as she drank her bottle, my heart filled with so much love that I wanted to yell it out to the world.
“I was supposed to have my period two weeks ago. And I realized how I was feeling and all, so I figured that I must be!”
Just then, it dawned on me. I was late. I was three weeks late.
Oh no. Oh my god. I can’t be. I’m on the pill!
“Um…Ellie…can you take Alex real quick?” I asked. I stood up and handed the baby back to Ellie.
“Honey, what’s wrong? You look like you’re about to be sick,” Ellie said, taking Alex from my arms.
I covered my mouth and ran into the house.
“I knew it! I knew she was still sick! If you get these kids sick, Heather Lynn Lambert, I’m gonna kick your ass!” Ari called out.
I ran past Sue and into the bathroom. After five minutes of puking and then dealing with the dry heaves, I heard a knock on the door.
“Come in,” I said in a weak voice. I looked up to see Sue standing there. “Sue…” I couldn’t manage to get another word out.
Sue fell to her knees and took me in her arms.
I started crying. “I can’t be pregnant. I just can’t. I’m on the pill.”
She stroked my hair. “Shh…it’s okay, sweetheart. First, let’s find out if you are before you start wondering about anything else.”
I glanced up to see Ari standing in the doorway. Her face was white as a ghost.
“I have another test! Let me go get it!” She spun around and ran upstairs.
“What?” Sue pulled back from me and turned to watch Ari leaving. “Why does she have a pregnancy test?” she asked, looking back at me.
I just smiled.
Sue wiped the tears from my eyes and shook her head. “Oh holy hell, this house is going to be filled with kids soon.”
After Ari came barreling back down the stairs, she skidded to a stop. “Mom! Who’s watching Luke?”
Sue just looked at Ari. “I’ve raised two kids. I’m not that stupid. Your father is feeding him, or I should say your father is eating all the poor kid’s Hawaiian Delight.”
I let out a giggle. Josh, Gunner, and Jeff also loved that stupid baby food, and they ate it all the time.
Josh. Pregnant. There is absolutely no way I could be pregnant.
I let out a laugh again. “Sue, this is just silly. I’m on the pill, so there is no way—”
Ari let out a gasp and covered her mouth. “Oh my god! Oh my god!”
Sue turned and took the stick out of Ari’s hand. “What the hell is wrong with you? And when were you going to tell me you had taken a pregnancy test, young lady?”
Ari peeked down at her mother and shook her head. “Never mind that, Mom. Heather, remember when you were so sick right before the accident? Remember you had, like, all this shit wrong with you? Do you remember?”
“Of course I remember. I was sick for, like, two weeks. Why?”
Now, Sue let out a gasp before she started smiling. “Sweetheart, were you on any kind of antibiotics?”
“Yes…two different ones. Why? What does that have to do with me getting the flu again?”
Ari started jumping up and down as she grabbed on to her mother’s shoulders.
“What’s going on?” Ellie asked as she walked up behind Ari. “Alex is passed out in her swing, and you’re fixin’ to wake her up, Ari.”
“Oh, sorry, Ells! I’m just excited because Heather’s pregnant!”
“What?” Ellie and I both yelled out at the same time.
“Oh my god, Ari! I am not pregnant,” I said as I turned to Sue. “Sue, this is just insane. I’m not pregnant.”
“Humor me then,” Sue said as she put the pregnancy test in my hand.
“Fine!” I looked at all three of them standing there, staring at me. “Um, do think I could piss on the stick in private?”
Ari threw her head back and laughed. When she started jumping up and down, Ellie joined in.
“Yep! She is sooo pregnant. She keeps swearing!” Ari said as she hugged Ellie, who was laughing.
Smiling, Sue backed out of the bathroom and shut the door.
I just stood there and looked at the stick in my hand. I thought back to the last night Josh and I had been together. I closed my eyes as I remembered the sweet passionate love he’d made to me outside in the rain. It was one of the most romantic moments of my life.
He doesn’t even remember that night. He doesn’t remember our love. He doesn’t remember whispering in my ear how much he wanted to be with me forever.
I jumped when I heard knocking on the door.
“Piss on the damn thing already, you bitch!”
I smiled. God, I love Ari. Only she could make me smile when I was dying a slow death on the inside.
I did what they had said, and then I took a piece of toilet paper and put it on the counter. I set the test down without looking at it, and I washed my hands and opened the door.
“Well?” all three of them asked.
“I don’t know. I haven’t looked at it.”
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! Look at it,” Ari said with her hands on her hips.
“I can’t,” I said, a tear rolling down my face. “If I am…then…I’m in this all alone.”
“What are you talking about, Heather? Josh will be a wonderful father!” Ellie said.
I shook my head as the tears started falling faster. “He doesn’t even remember being in love with me. He doesn’t even remember the night this child was possibly conceived. Why would he…why would he want…”
Sue walked up and took me in her arms as I lost it.
“Do you want me to look at it, sweets?” Ari asked.
“Yes.”
Ari walked by me and into the bathroom. I buried my face into Sue’s chest.
I can’t breathe.
Breathe, baby girl.
I looked up at Sue. “What did you just say?”
Sue looked at me, confused. “I didn’t say anything, sweetheart.”
I closed my eyes.
Just breathe…
My eyes flew open. “Daddy…”
“What?” Sue asked me.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “Nothing, um…never mind,” I said as I turned to look at Ari.
She was just staring at me.
“Well? I was right, right? I’m not pregnant, am I?”
Ari quickly glanced over to Ellie and then at her mother before her eyes met mine again. She didn’t have to tell me. A part of me already knew.
I’m going to have Josh’s baby.
The moment I saw Heather’s car parked behind Gunner’s truck, my heart started pounding.
“So, you never did tell me how you like your new truck,” Jeff said with a smile.
Gunner shook his head and punched Jeff in the arm.
I still couldn’t believe I’d been looking at Fords. I’d always loved my Dodge truck. “I love it. Bitch has a ton of power. Too bad all you fuckers got my new leather seats wet,” I said as I helped Matt out of the backseat.
Then, he took off running up the stairs, yelling, “We’re home, fuckers!”
Jeff turned and gave me a drop-dead look. I couldn’t help it. I started laughing.
A minute later, Ari came storming out of the house. “Josh!”
Jeff walked up and leaned in toward my ear. “You’ve gone and done it now. She’s pissed. You better be glad you don’t remember shit right now ’cause you have no idea what the fuck is in store for your ass!”
“Fuck off!” I pushed his wet ass away from me.
The next thing I knew, Ari was standing in front of me. I could so see why Jeff was head over heels in love with her. She was spit and fire all in a beautiful package.
“Hey, Ari, how’s it going? You sure look beautiful today.”
“Don’t you even try that Southern charm on me, you twatwaffling, douche-bag idiot!”
Ouch. Girl doesn’t hold back the punches.
“Wait. Did you just call me a twatwaffling douche bag?”
“Idiot. Don’t forget, I called you an idiot as well,” Ari said with a slight smile on her face.
“Did we get along before? Because I’m sensing there might have been some conflict between us.” I gave her my sweetest smile possible.
“Don’t give me that dimple. Did Jeff and Gunner not talk to you about swearing in front of Matt? He adores you, Josh. He thinks you walk on water, and he does everything you do. He’s in the house right now, running around while repeating ‘Oh shit,’ ‘Ah, mudderfucker,’ and ‘What the fuck?’ Let’s not even mention how he said, ‘What’s up, fucker?’ to my father. After only one day with you, Josh. You were with him for one day. One. Day,” Ari said as she held up one finger in my face.
I glanced over to Gunner and Jeff. They were just standing there, letting me take all the heat.
“And…to top it off, he’s soaking wet! Why is he soaking wet?”
“That was not my fault! Jeff pushed me into the water, and then he tried to drown me. Gunner jumped in, and—”
Ari put her hand up to get me to stop talking. She looked at all three of us, just now noticing our wet clothes. Her mouth fell open as she glared at Jeff. “You let Matt swim in the freezing cold lake? Have you gone insane, Jefferson Johnson?”
“No! I didn’t let him swim. He just kind of…well, he just…he kind of saw the three of us in the water, and…well, I guess he wanted to join the boys.”
The look on Ari’s face caused me to start laughing. Then, Gunner and Jeff started laughing. By now, Ellie and Heather had come out. Ellie was laughing, and Heather was just standing there, smiling. The moment her eyes caught mine, her smile faded. It was quickly replaced by a panicked look. She almost seemed like she was about to get sick. She threw her hand up to her mouth, turned, and ran back inside.
I took off running up the stairs to the house and went in after her. I watched as she bolted into a bathroom and slammed the door shut.
I knocked lightly on the door. “Heather, are you okay?”
“I’m okay, Josh. Thanks. I just feel sick. I’ll be out in a few minutes,” she said in such a sweet, soft voice.
Leaning my head on the door, I just stood there for a few minutes. I swore I could hear her crying. I’m hurting her. By not remembering…I’m hurting her.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Jeff with Luke in his arms. When Luke reached out for me, I looked at Jeff, confused.
“Dude, he wants you to hold him,” Jeff said with a smile.
I held out my hands, and Luke came right to me. He wrapped his little arms around my neck and put his head down on my shoulder.
Oh. My. God. My knees felt like they were about to give out. When I put my hand on his little back, I could feel him breathing. He smelled so damn good. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
God, please…please just give me my life back. I just want to remember all of this. I want to remember Heather.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d been standing there, just taking in this sweet little man, but neither one of us moved.
“You feeling better, Heather?” Jeff asked.
I slowly turned around and saw Heather leaning against the doorjamb. She had the sweetest smile on her face.
“He always did love you so much,” she said.
I smiled back at her. I didn’t even know what to say. Her beauty left me speechless. As I looked her up and down, my heartbeat started racing. I handed Luke back to Jeff. When I turned back around, she was looking at Luke in Jeff’s arms.
I walked up to her and reached my hand behind her neck, pulling her to me. I leaned down and captured her lips with mine. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back with so much passion that I thought I would explode. I’d never in my life experienced this type of kiss, this type of emotion.
Barely pulling away from her lips, I whispered, “I want that to be my last first kiss.”
She smiled, and then she let out a giggle. “That wasn’t our first kiss though.”
“It was for me. I’ve never before experienced so much emotion in just one kiss. Everything I experience with you is new, beautiful, and breathtaking.”
She pulled back from me and looked into my eyes. I saw the tears forming in her eyes, and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her more. I reached down and gently kissed her on the lips again. The low moan that came from her mouth moved through my whole body.
I love this girl. I love her. I need to tell her right now. “Heather, I—”
“Sorry, y’all, but Luke’s getting fussy, and we need to head home,” Ari said from behind me.
Heather looked at me with pleading eyes.
I smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. “Tonight?”
She gave me a sweet smile and nodded.
I turned and saw Luke trying with all his might to get out of Ari’s arms. I laughed as I reached for him, and then I started to fly him around like an airplane. My fucking side was killing me but I’d never felt so damn happy in my life.
By the time I made it back to my parents’ house, my ribs were killing me. I showered and took some pain medicine since my little romp in the lake and then playing with Luke were doing me in now.
When I walked down the stairs, I heard my mother talking to someone. I looked at my watch and wondered where Heather was. She’d said she had to stop at Party City to pick up supplies for my birthday party tomorrow.
Right as I was turning into the kitchen, I heard Heather’s voice. My heart stopped and fell into my stomach. Shit. Did it feel like this the first time I fell in love with her? My fucking hands started sweating, and I almost turned to go back upstairs. What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I so nervous? Just tell her how you feel, Josh. That’s what Gunner said. Be honest. I took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen. They were both laughing, and then my mother looked up at me and smiled.
“Hey, handsome. I heard you had an exciting day,” she said as she winked at Heather.
I laughed. “I’d say. I taught Matthew a few new words, I think. I swam in the freezing cold water at Lake Travis while Jeff tried to drown me, got chewed out by Ari, and discovered that I…” I stopped myself.
Heather tilted her head. “Discovered what?”
“Um…I discovered…that I’m still a damn good fisherman,” I said, trying to cover up my almost confession of love.
My mother opened the refrigerator and started looking around. “Huh. You must not be that good ’cause I don’t see any fish in here,” she said, turning to me with a smile.
“Thanks, Mom.”
For two hours, we talked about everything from the party to when I would move back into my apartment.
“Mom, I think I’m more than ready to move back into my apartment. Are you going to be moving in with me, Heather?” The blush that covered her cheeks turned me on so fucking bad that I found myself daydreaming about what it would be like to make love to her.
An image of me making love to Heather in the rain popped into my head. I closed my eyes as I tried to make it come into focus. Where are we? Is this real or just my imagination?
“So, we can set up a small table by the spa side of the pool. We can move the lounge chairs, so people can walk around a little bit more…” my mother said.
The lounge chairs! We’re in the lounge chairs. I stood up so fast that my chair fell backward, scaring Heather and my mother. I hustled outside, heading to the pool.
“Holy hell, Josh. Where’s the fire?” Mom called after me.
I walked up to the lounge chairs and stared at them. Goddamn it! Remember!
“Josh?”
Just the sound of her voice had me wanting her so fucking bad. I couldn’t look at her. If I were to look at her, I would take her right here in this damn chair, and I wouldn’t even care if my mother were watching or not. Okay, that’s a lie. That’d be fucked-up.
“Josh, are you okay? Is something wrong?”
Oh god, that voice. I turned around and looked at her. That was a mistake.
Those beautiful blue eyes were looking right back into mine. It was like she could see into my soul, but I couldn’t see into hers.
“I, um…I think I overdid it today. I took some pain medicine, and I’m really tired right now,” I said, glancing down at her lips. Oh god, I want her so much. Control, Josh. Fuck, get control of yourself.
I looked back up into her eyes. She was smiling as her eyes glanced at the lounge chair for a quick second before she looked back at me.
Another image flooded my brain. Heather was on top, making love to me in the lounge chair. Her head was thrown back, and she was moving slowly while I was holding her in my arms. I closed my eyes and shook my head. Am I remembering this? Or is this just a dream?
I swore I could feel an electric bolt moving through my body. My eyes flew open, and she was standing right in front of me with her hand on my arm. Her touch felt like a million tiny zaps of electricity.
“Josh, are you okay?”
I pulled her to me and started to kiss her. I kissed her like I would never see her again. When my hand started to move up her shirt, I felt her whole body shudder.
I need you.
She ran her hand through my hair and gave it a tug.
Oh god. I want her so much. “Heather…”
“Josh, I’ve missed you.”
“I want you so much, baby,” I whispered to her.
“Yes,” she whispered. “I want you, too, Josh. I need you so much.”
“Josh? Heather?”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! That’s twice today.” I leaned my forehead against hers.
When she giggled, my heart melted.
“Meet me downstairs at midnight, okay?” I said as I looked into her eyes.
She gave me the biggest smile ever and I felt my legs wobble.
“Are we sneaking out tonight, Mr. Hayes?” she asked.
“Fuck yeah, we are, Ms. Lambert!”
She threw her head back and started laughing. When I glanced up, I saw my mother walking toward us, and she looked pissed.
“Hey, Mom. What’s with the sour look?” I grabbed Heather’s hand and started toward my mom.
Just then, I saw Victoria walking toward us with a big grin. Fuck me. Her smile faltered just a little when she looked down at my hand holding Heather’s. I didn’t mean to, but I tightened my hold on Heather.
“Look who dropped by for a visit,” Mom said with sarcasm in her voice.
Victoria walked right up to me and kissed me on the cheek. “Oh, hey, Heather. How are you?”
“I’m just fine, Victoria,” Heather said.
I glanced over at my mother as she winked at Heather.
“What brings you by?” I asked.
I could feel Heather trying to pull her hand out of mine. No way, girl. This is the most contact I’ve had with you since I woke up in this nightmare. I glanced at her as I brought her hand up to mouth. When I kissed it, a flush spread across her cheeks, and it nearly sent me down to my knees. Knowing that I could make her feel this way did crazy things to me.
I let my eyes travel down her body. Fuck, she has a nice body. I need to make her mine again. When my gaze moved back up, I stopped to stare at her eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes just made me want to get lost in them for hours.
“Josh? Josh! Hello? Earth to Josh!” Victoria said as she snapped her fingers in my face.
Slowly, I pulled my eyes away from Heather to look at Tori. “What did you say?”
Victoria glared at Heather like she wanted to stomp on her. “I thought we could maybe go out to dinner, but I see you have a friend over.”
Now, it was Heather’s turn to squeeze the shit out of my hand.
“Yeah, I don’t think so, not tonight. Heather and I have plans with my parents for dinner. Next time, it might be a better idea if you called ahead before you drove all the way over here.”
As Victoria looked my body up and down, I remembered the kiss. When I’d kissed her in the elevator in the hospital, she’d felt me up with her hand. I instantly dropped Heather’s hand before I started to walk into the house.
Oh my god. I cheated on Heather. I felt sick. I needed to get away from both of them. I knew it. I knew I would fuck this up.
“Josh?” Heather called out to me.
Then, I felt someone grab my arm, and I turned to see Victoria. “What?” I snapped at her.
She took a step back. “Your face went white as a ghost. Are you feeling okay, Josh?” she asked, looking concerned.
I ran my hand through my hair and then down my face. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just want to fucking remember my life. Hey, are you still coming to see the Matt Kimbrow Band at the Luckenbach dance hall on Saturday night?”
Tori smiled and put her hands on her hips. “Oh, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. What time should I meet you there?”
I glanced at Heather, and she looked hurt as hell. She was holding her stomach, like she was going to be sick again.
“Heather, what time will we be meeting everyone there?” I was hoping to show Victoria that I would be going with Heather while I was wishing to God that Heather knew I wanted to go with her and not Tori.
“Um…they go on at nine, but I think everyone is planning to get there around seven or seven thirty.”
Victoria turned around and then looked between Heather and me. “Should we drive together or—”
“No. You should probably just meet us there,” I said, looking back at Heather.
As Heather started to walk past us, heading back into the house, I reached out and grabbed her hand. She came to a stop right away, but she never once looked at Victoria or me.
“So, um…listen, I hate to send ya off when you just got here, but we’re fixin’ to leave. Right, Mom?” I glanced over to my mother.
“Yep, we are. Let me show you out, Victoria,” Mom said.
“Okay…well, I guess I’ll see you at your party tomorrow.” Victoria went to kiss me good-bye.
As I took a step back and away from her, I noticed that Heather was watching my every move.
“Right. Well, see y’all tomorrow. Have a good evening. It was nice seeing you again, Smeather Heather!”
Heather rolled her eyes and jerked her arm away from me. “Yep. You, too,” she said as she started to go into the house.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Why the fuck did I remind Victoria about Saturday night?
I thought back to my conversation with Gunner about Lynda. I started pacing back and forth. I was so ready to sleep with Heather, and I’d forgotten all about what happened between Victoria and me.
Just then, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned around to see my father. I wasn’t sure what made me do it, but I walked up and crashed myself into him. When he put his arms around me, I lost it.
“Jesus, Josh. What’s wrong, son?”
“Oh god, Dad. Oh god. I fucked it up with Heather.” I felt tears running down my face.
My dad pushed me away from him and stared at me. “Josh, I’ve never in my life seen you cry, not even when you broke your leg or arm when you were a kid. What the hell happened?”
I sat down on one of the chairs, and put my head in my hands. “I cheated, Dad. I cheated on the only girl I’ve ever loved in my life.” I looked up at him.
“Wait a minute, Josh. Slow the hell down. When? Before the accident? Did you remember something?”
I shook my head. “No…no, Dad. It was the first day I woke up in the hospital. It was after you and Mom told me about Heather. Victoria came to take me for a brain scan, and she kissed me in the elevator, but I told her to stop.”
My dad laughed. “Son, that’s not cheating.”
“I also let her feel me up for a minute before I pushed her hand away,” I said as I looked away.
“Oh…well…listen to me, Josh. In your mind, you weren’t with Heather.”
“But from the moment I saw her, I felt something for Heather, Dad. The whole time Victoria was doing it, I was picturing Heather lying on a blanket next to a river. I was thinking about her, Dad. What kind of fucked-up person does that?”
“Josh, stop being so hard on yourself. You were just in a major car accident, and you have memory loss.”
“That’s no excuse. I have to tell her, Dad,” I said, standing up.
“What?” my dad grabbed my arm. “Josh, why would you hurt her like that?”
When I glanced up, I saw Heather watching us from one of the kitchen windows.
I looked back to my dad and smiled. “Because I love her, Dad, and I owe it to her to be one hundred percent honest with her.”
My dad shook his head. “I get that, Josh. I do. Believe me, I would never, ever under normal circumstances tell you to hide something like this from her…but, son, this girl has been through so much pain and hurt in her life. Why would you even want to plant that seed of doubt in her mind when nothing really happened?”
My dad started to pace and then stopped. “Did you just say you love her?”
“Yeah, I did,” I said with a smile.
“You just came up with this feeling all on your own? Your mother hasn’t been pushing you, has she?”
I laughed. He knew better than to ever think that Heather could have pushed me, but he didn’t hesitate to put it past my mom.
“No, Dad, she hasn’t pushed me. It hit me like a ton of bricks today. I’ve been trying like hell to tell her, but something keeps happening, and I haven’t had the chance.” My smile faded.
“Okay, listen to me. You do what’s in your heart, Josh. What’s your heart telling you to do?”
I looked back up at the window. She was gone, and my heart dropped to my stomach.
I turned to my dad. “It’s telling me I need to always be one hundred percent honest with her.”
“Then, you know what you have to do, son.” Dad brought me in for a hug. “I love that girl like she’s my own daughter, Josh. Your mother feels the same way. The moment she walked into this house, she captured all of our hearts. You fuck this up, and I’ll kick your ass!” My dad pulled away from me and winked.
“Jesus H. Christ, Dad.” I shook my head and made my way into the house.
I walked into the kitchen, and my mother was on the phone.
“She said she would be upstairs, waiting for you in your room,” Mom said with a sad look on her face.
I quickly left the kitchen and went up the stairs two at a time. When I opened the door to my room, I found her standing at the window, looking out at the pasture. The horses were all out, and from the few days she’d stayed with us, I already knew how much the horses could calm her down.
She knows.
“Heather—”
“What happened between you two? And when did it happen?”
Her voice was so cold and distant that it gave me chills.
How the fuck does she know? “Um…it was the first day I woke up.”
Heather spun around and looked at me.
I waited for her to say something or ask me something. When she didn’t, I just went on with my confession. “She was taking me down for the brain scan, and when we got into the elevator, she started to kiss me and touch me with her hand. I asked her to stop kissing me, but I didn’t…I didn’t stop her right away from…” I couldn’t even finish. I wanted to throw up.
I watched as Heather closed her eyes. When she slowly started to sink to the floor, I ran over to her and grabbed her. I sat down on the floor and pulled her onto my lap. I held her as she began crying. Ah hell. I should have listened to my dad. All I ever do is hurt her.
I could tell she was having a hard time breathing, so I stroked her hair. “I pushed her hand away. I didn’t come. I swear to you.” I was trying to reassure her, to let her know that I didn’t want Victoria.
“Breathe, baby, just breathe,” I whispered in her ear.
She grabbed on to my neck with both arms and clutched on to me tightly.
“Is that all that’s happened between you two?”
“Yes! The whole time, all I could do was picture you, and I was so fucking confused.” I held her as close to me as I could.
“She didn’t…she didn’t use her mouth, did she?”
Oh Christ. Why the hell is she asking me that? “God no, Heather. Why the hell would you even ask that?”
She pulled away, and her eyes met mine. The tears on her face made me want to punch myself in the stomach. I never want to be the reason she cries…ever again.