Текст книги "Beneath This Man"

Автор книги: Jodi Ellen Malpas

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Текущая страница: 30 (всего у книги 33 страниц)

I drag my eyes open and stare blankly forward across his chest. I’m in so much pain, but I have no desire to move or voice my discomfort. I feel sedated, like I’m floating on the outside, observing this shocking scene from afar. What if my attempts to make Jesse see my point of view fail? What if he does punish himself again? I couldn’t bear to go through this again and not just because I’m in absolute agony – I couldn’t bear to see Jesse on his knees, accepting lashes dished out by Sarah or by anyone, for that matter. Not that I’m ever going to be able to scrub that image from my mind. It will be etched on my brain for as long as I live. Nothing will wipe it away. Nothing.

I don’t know how long we sit in silence; me staring into the distance, completely detached from the circumstances, and Jesse sobbing into my hair. It feels like hours, maybe longer. I’ve lost all sense of time and realism.

The door knocks.

‘What?’ Jesse’s voice is fragmented and low, and he sniffs a few times.

The door opens, but I don’t know who it is. My eyes have been staring into space for such a long time, I think they may have set in place. I hear some movement close by and something being put on the table in front of us, but whoever it is doesn’t speak. They leave just as quietly, the office door shutting almost silently.

Jesse moves ever so slightly under me, and I inhale on a sharp, painful hiss. He stills. ‘Oh, Jesus.’ He sounds fraught. ‘Baby, I need to move you, I need to see your back.’

I shake my head mildly and press my face into his bare chest. It’s going to hurt like hell when he moves me. I want to delay it for as long as possible. I’m not ignorant to the fact that his own back is a blooded mess and he’s leaning back on the sofa with me on his lap pressing into him. He must be in some serious pain himself. What a pair of crazy arse, challenging freaks we are.

He sighs and rests his chin on the top of my head. ‘Why?’ he croaks, kissing my head. ‘I don’t understand.’

 If I could talk, I would be throwing that right back at him. Why exactly?

‘Ava, I need to see your back.’ He makes to move again and pain slices through me. I clench my dry eyes shut and let him move me until I’m sitting up on his lap.

The gravity smacks right into my stomach and I’m suddenly heaving, my stomach convulsing, my body jerking, which only serves to increase the pain further. I double over on his lap.

 ‘Oh God!’ He places his hand on my back in an instinctive move to soothe me while my stomach decides if there’s anything left inside me to bring up. The hot contact of his hand has me jolting forward on a cry and my stomach deciding that yes, there is something left to evacuate.

I throw up all over the floor.

‘Shit! Ava, I’m sorry. Oh, fuck!’ He pulls my hair from my face and tentatively moves to get better access to me. ‘Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck. Ava, what have you done?’ His traumatised voice tells me he has just copped a load of my back. It must look as bad as it feels. I’m desperately trying to get a handle of my retching in an attempt to minimise the pain. ‘I’m going to move you now, okay?’ He grasps me under my arms and stands. I cry out. ‘I can’t lift you without touching you.’ He grunts a few frustrated curses as he tries to maneuver me to the other couch without catching my back.

My legs are still wobbly and unsteady. I wouldn’t be surprised if he never wanted to see me again on the grounds of feebleness. I never imagined this, but there was no discussion when I handed Steve the whip. Other than my request of no physical contact with him and to give it to me hard, I said nothing. I practically gave him free reign.

‘Get on your front.’ He lowers me to the sofa on my stomach, and I put my arms under my head as a pillow. ‘Ava, I can’t believe you’ve done this,’ He kneels by the sofa and pulls over a glass bowl of water with a bottle of purple liquid. He squirts the liquid into the water and takes the roll of cotton wool, tearing some off before dipping it in the solution and squeezing off the excess. ‘This is going to sting, baby. I’ll be gentle, okay?’ He puts his face in my field on vision and my eyes lift with some effort, finding green pools of total anguish.

I stare blankly at him, all muscles refusing to work.

‘I’m furious with you.’ he says softly. He lowers his lips to mine and kisses me gently and it’s the first time ever that I don’t have to fight to respond, and it’s not because I don’t want to.

He shakes his head, returning his attention to my back, and I pull in a severe, distressed breath as he unclasps my bra gently, letting the straps lie to the sides. Then I feel the soft cotton wool skimming over my skin. It feels like he is dragging barbed wire across my back. I sob.

‘I’m sorry.’ he blurts. ‘I’m so sorry.’

I turn my face into my arms and clench my teeth as he attempts to coat me in the solution, refreshing the cotton wool repeatedly and reloading it with the warm mixture for each painful swipe. He curses with each one of my flinches.

When I hear the bowl scrap across the table, I let out a long, thankful lungful of air. I turn my face back outwards and see the purple tinged water is now stained red and has all the used cotton wool balls piled inside, soaking up the liquid. He gets up from beside me and returns swiftly with a bottle of water.

He crouches in front of me. ‘Can you sit up?’

I nod and start the painful process of getting myself up into a sitting position on the couch with Jesse flapping and cursing in front of me. My bra falls onto my lap and I half-heartedly attempt to pull it back over my boobs.

‘Leave it.’ He pushes my hands away and puts the water into my grasp. ‘Open your mouth.’ he orders softly. I comply without thought, letting my mouth fall open, accepting the two pills he puts on my tongue. ‘Drink.’

The bottle feels like an iron weight as I lift it to my mouth. He places his hand on the base to alleviate some of the weight, and I welcome the ice cold water into my mouth. Jesse walks over to his desk and grabs his keys, phone and t-shirt. Stuffing them in various pockets, he then pulls his t-shirt over his head and down his body as he walks back towards me. Doesn’t his back hurt? Am I being a complete baby?

He gets my clothes from the back of the sofa and crouches back in front of me. ‘I’m taking you home.’ He opens my jeans at my feet, taps my ankle and I lift, repeating on the other before he helps me up and pulls my jeans up my legs.

He looks from the t-shirt, to my exposed breasts, and then to me with a slight frown. The thought of anything resting on my skin makes me want to vomit again, but I can’t be walking out of here and into Lusso naked from the waist up.

‘Can we try?’ He stretches the neck of my t-shirt and pulls my dangling bra from my arms before easing it over my head.

I start lifting my arms to accommodate Jesse’s hold on the t-shirt, but tears start to stab at my eyes with the effort and painful stings. I shake my head frantically. It’s going to hurt too much.

‘Ava, I don’t know what to do.’ He holds the t-shirt away from my body. ‘I can’t let you walk out there with nothing on.’ He bends down and looks at me. ‘Please, don’t cry.’ He kisses my forehead as tears stream down my face. ‘Oh, fuck it!’ He pulls the t-shirt back over my head and throws it on the sofa. ‘Come here.’ He bends and curls his arm under my bum and lifts me up with one arm. ‘Wrap your legs around my waist, arms around my neck. Be careful.’ I do as I’m told slowly and carefully. ‘Are you okay?’ he asks.

I nod into his shoulder and link my ankles around the small of his back. I feel him pull my hair over my shoulder and rest his palm on the nape of my neck, holding me as tight as he can without inflicting further pain. My boobs are squished to his chest, my back completely exposed, but I couldn’t care less. He strides to the door and releases my neck to open it, before replacing his hand securely at my nape.

‘Okay, baby?’ he asks, walking down the corridor into the summer room. I nod into his neck. I’m far from okay. I feel like I’ve been lying directly on the sun, all of my skin burnt away, exposing raw flesh. ‘John!’ he yells. There’s a succession on shocked gasps, all sounding more shocked than when I was carried in.

‘How’s the girl?’ John’s low voice is close by.

‘How does she fucking look? Get a cotton sheet from the cleaning quarters.’

John doesn’t retaliate to Jesse’s shortness.

‘Jesse, is there anything I can do?’

I hear a female’s voice full of alarm and her heels clicking on the floor of the summer room as she tries to keep up with Jesse.

‘No, Natasha.’ he replies harshly. I can’t even muster up the strength to raise my head and throw her a filthy look. Is there anything she can do? What? Like fuck him again?

 ‘Ava?’ Kate’s fretting tone assaults my ears. ‘Oh, fucking hell. What have you done, you stupid cow!’

‘I’m taking her home.’ Jesse is not stopping for anyone, not even Kate. ‘She’s fine, I’ll call you.’

‘Jesse, she’s bleeding!’

‘I know, Kate. I fucking know!’ I feel his chest rise under me. ‘I’ll call you.’ he appeases her, and I don’t hear her again, but I do hear Sam soothing her, his usual chirpy voice layered with concern.

I know we’re getting close to the entrance hall because the cool air starts to slowly spread across my back. It’s a welcome sensation.

‘Jesse, mate, I didn’t know.’

Jesse halts abruptly and silence falls, all concerned chatter coming to a complete halt as I hear Steve’s voice drift into my ears. I squeeze Jesse’s body with what little strength I can find, and he nuzzles my neck.

‘Steve, you want to be thanking all that’s fucking holy I’ve got my girl in my arms, because if I didn’t, the cleaners would be scooping up your remains for a fucking year.’ Jesse’s voice is acidic, his heart pounding wildly.

‘I….I…’ Steve stammers and stutters over his words. ‘I didn’t know.’

‘No one told you she was mine?’ Jesse asks, clearly shocked.

‘I…I assumed…I...’

‘She’s MINE!’ Jesse roars, jolting me in his arms. I whimper from the flash of searing pain that his movement instigates and he tenses, pushing his face into the crook of my neck. ‘I’m sorry.’ he whispers. I feel his jaw ticking against me. ‘You’re a fucking dead man, Steve.’ He stands still for a few moments and I know he’s glaring at Steve with murder carved all over his face. I feel responsible.

‘Jesse?’ John’s rumble breaks the screaming silence. ‘S’all good. Priorities, yeah?’

‘Yeah.’ Jesse picks up his feet again and the slow building cool air is suddenly sharp and pelting at my back. He walks slowly down the steps.

‘I’ll get the door.’ Kate’s says as her heels clatter down the steps.

‘I’ve got it, Kate.’

‘Jesse, stop being such a pigheaded twat and accept the fucking help! You are not the only one who cares about her.’

I’m squeezed against him. ‘My keys are in my back pocket.’

Kate’s hand brushes over my jeans as she negotiates the keys out of Jesse’s pocket, and I smile on the inside at my fiery friend living up to her reputation. My eyes open and catch Kate’s.

‘Oh, Ava.’ She shakes her head and bleeps Jesse’s car open.

Jesse turns back towards The Manor. ‘Everyone needs to fuck off back inside.’ He doesn’t want anyone to see me. I hear the crunching of gravel under footsteps as Jesse waits with me in his arms, ensuring everyone has gone before he releases me from his body. ‘Ava, I’m going to ease you down, you need to turn onto your side and face the driver’s seat. Can you do that?’ he asks softy. I loosen my grip of his neck to show my willingness and be begins slowly lowering me down into the car. ‘Don’t lean back.’

I shift slowly on the soft leather until my shoulder is resting against the seat and I’m facing the driver’s side. Fucking hell, it hurts. He then lays a light sheet over me before shutting the door softly without even attempting to get the seatbelt over me. My head falls against the seat and my eyes close of their own accord. In no time at all, the driver door shuts and Jesse’s scent invades my nose. I open my eyes and adjust my vision until I’m confronted with green, pitiful eyes. I feel pitiful.  I’m a hopeless, pathetic waif of a woman who has caused all of this chaos, pain and aching because I was trying to prove a point – a point I pray to God I’ve made successfully because if I’ve put myself through all of this, put Jesse through this and he still doesn’t get it, then it’s finished. Over. We can’t do this to each other. The thought makes my heart rate slow.

He reaches over and brushes my cheek with his knuckles. ‘Stop.’ he orders, wiping another tear away, but I’m not crying with pain anymore. I’m crying in desperation.

He turns the engine over and drives slowly down the driveway, the rushed roar and madcap driving skills that I’ve fast become accustomed to, sidelined for a sensible purr of the DBS’s engine. He takes corners carefully, accelerates and brakes gently and flicks his eyes to me at regular intervals. I’m beltless, half naked and displaying angry wounds all over my back. If the police stopped us, it would take some interesting explaining.

I remain still and stare blankly at the profile of my handsome, troubled man and wonder whether I could be classed as troubled now too. My sanity is certainly questionable, but I’m sane enough to admit that. I was a normal, sound-minded girl. I definitely don’t qualify for that anymore.

The silence of the journey home is filled only by the humming of the car and the background sound of Snow Patrol’s Run.

Jesse pulls up to Lusso and makes his way around to my side of the car, helping me out while trying to keep me covered. ‘God only knows what Clive is going to think.’ he mutters as he lifts me back onto his chest. I suddenly feel panicky. ‘Ava, unless you let me drape this sheet over your back, there is nothing I can do.’ He sandwiches the sheet between our chests and does his best to hold it out to the side, shielding me from one angle before walking into the foyer.

‘Mr Ward?’ Clive sounds perplexed. The poor man has seen me drunk and carried; defiant and carried; sick and carried; tired and carried. It must be clear that I am none of the above.

‘I’ve got it, Clive.’ Jesse tries his best to sound unaffected, but I’m not sure he pulls it off. We get into the elevator and the surrounding mirrors bounce our reflection off in every direction. Everywhere I look, I can see Jesse’s disturbed face and my fragile body wrapped around him. I close my eyes and let my head go heavy on his shoulder, feeling the motions of his long, easy strides as he carries me from the elevator, through the penthouse and to the master-suite.

‘Easy.’ He lowers me to the bed on my front.

My arms slide under the pillow and I sink my head into the softness, taking a small comforting inhale of Jesse’s scent. I feel my jeans being pulled from my legs and a few moments later, Jesse is lying next to me, mirroring my position. He keeps one hand free and reaches over to smooth his palm over my cheek, no doubt getting the contact he always needs. It’s all he can do. There will be no flipping me onto my back or thrusting me up against the wall anytime soon.

We lay forever, just gazing across at each other. It’s comfortable. No words need to be said. I let him caress my face and I fight my eyes heaviness for a short while before he runs his thumbs over my lids and they don’t re-open.

Chapter 32

I know if I stretch, I’ll yelp really loud. The overwhelming need to spread myself out is playing havoc with my natural instinct to remain still and curtail the aching and stinging. All of the previous day’s events come crashing into my head before my eyes open – all of the hideousness, all of the sounds of whips, the flashes of pain, the anguish and torment. It has all just landed with a spectacular wallop followed by a little greeting courtesy, right in my morning brain.

My eyes open and I spy Jesse sound asleep and in the same position as I last remember him being. His hand is resting on my cheek, his face close to mine, his lips parted and breathing steady, peaceful breaths into my face. He looks so serene, his long lashes fanning his face, his hair its usual morning disheveled mop of dirty blonde. He has his morning stubble and his untroubled, handsome face close to mine brings a small smile to me. Past all of his annoying, challenging ways is a deeply messed up man, who drinks, fucks and has had himself whipped to punish himself. I’m a huge contributing factor to his sorry state, but if it’s as he says and he punished himself because he thinks he deserves it, that everything happening is because of his past, then I may as well lock myself up in a glass case for the rest of my life.

I watch as his eyelids flicker and slowly open, blinking a few times before he focuses in on me. I can see from the ticking of his minds cogs that his pre-awake brain is being flooded with information and reminders that will bring him back up to speed with where we are and why. It takes a few silent moments, but he eventually sighs and inches himself closer to me until we are nose to nose, him on his side and me still on my front. I don’t feel close enough. I pull my arms from under the pillow and shift myself on a few winces until I’m on my side reflecting him. His hand rests on my hip to steady me and he moves closer still, his body pressed to the front of mine, our noses touching again.

‘It is possible.’ I whisper through the incredible dryness of my throat. ‘To understand how you feel about me, it is possible.’

‘You did this to yourself to prove you love me?’

‘No, you know I love you. I did it to show you what it feels like.’

His brow furrows deeply. ‘I don’t understand. I know what it feels like to be whipped.’

‘I don’t mean that. I mean the agony of seeing the man I love hurting himself.’ I bring my hand up and stroke his stubble, and I see him begin to grasp my point. ‘Nothing will ever hurt me as much as seeing you doing that to yourself. That will kill me, nothing else. If you punish yourself again, then I will too.’ My voice is slightly shaky just at the thought of ever having to face another day like yesterday. I’ve just threatened him and if he loves me like he claims he does, then my request should be a very easy one for him to fulfil.

His eyes dart around a bit and he chews his lip as he starts shaking his head ever so faintly. His eyes fall back onto mine. ‘You love me.’

‘I need you. I need you strong and healthy. I need you to understand how much I love you. I need you to know that I can’t be without you either. I would die before losing you too.’

He shakes his head. ‘I don’t deserve you, Ava. Not after the life I’ve lived. I’ve never had anything I’ve valued or wanted to protect. Now I have, and it’s a bizarre mixture of total happiness and complete fucking fear.’ His eyes scan every inch of my face. ‘I filled an empty existence with drink and women. I’ve never cared. I’ve hurt the most precious thing in my life and I can’t cope with that.’

‘I’ve made you like this.’

His frown line slips onto his forehead, but he doesn’t argue with my statement. I have made him like this. ‘I crave control with you, Ava. I can’t help it. I really can’t.’

‘I know.’ I sigh, ‘I know you can’t.’ I move into his chest and soak up his heat. For once, I feel like I completely understand him. He’s had an irrepressible existence – a life of not caring, of unfeeling and complete disorder.  He doesn’t know what to do with all of this new found emotion.

‘You’re hurting because of me.’ he says into my hair.

‘And you are because of me.’ I affirm, harshly. ‘We deal with the past. As long as I have you, the strong you, then we deal with it. It’s not your history that is hurting me. It’s you. The things you are doing now.’ I’m aware of my mind pointing out that I’ve been struggling to deal with Jesse’s past, but that is just raging jealously, not heart splintering pain. I have to learn to deal with it.

I’m pulled from his chest. His eyes are glazed, his chin trembling. ‘You’re crazy mad.’ he says softly, pushing his lips to mine ‘Crazy, crazy mad.’

I welcome his soft lips onto mine. It’s about the only part of me I can move without pain slicing me. ‘I’m crazy in love with you. Please don’t do that to yourself again. My back hurts.’

He pulls back on a mild scowl. ‘I’m still furious with you.’

‘I’m not very happy with you either.’ I retort quietly.

‘I can’t touch you.’ he grumbles, kissing me again, all over my face.

‘I know. How’s your back?’

He scoffs and continues covering my face with his lips. ‘I’m fine. I’m just pissed at you. We need to get you moving or you’ll cease up.’

‘I’m happy to cease up.’ I argue. I’m happy to lay here and have him kiss me from head to toe.

‘Not a chance, lady. You need a lavender bath and some cream on your back. I can’t believe out of all of my members, you picked the most unstable one.’

‘I did?’ I ask. I wasn’t to know. I just handed the whip to the first man who would take it.

‘You did.’ He drags his mouth away from my face and narrows displeased eyes on me. ‘John and I were due to have a meeting today to discuss revoking his membership. We’ve been monitoring him for a while. His behaviour has become a little erratic lately and while some of the women welcome the rough side of his sexual exploits, others not so much. He makes some women uncomfortable and that’s a problem.’ A look of regret washes over his face, and I know he’s thinking that he should have kicked Steve out sooner. ‘He hadn’t done anything to warrant us getting rid of him until last night.’

‘I asked him.’ I try and ease Jesse’s guilt. I don’t want a repeat of all this.

‘There are rules, Ava.’ He kisses me, biting my bottom lip lightly. ‘Did he give you an out?’

‘No.’ I realise how stupid I was now.

‘The list of his offenses goes on and on. He’s broken a lot of rules. He’s got to go.’

‘I don’t remember him. He wasn’t at the anniversary party.’ I would have remembered that cocky face.

‘No, he was on duty.’

‘Duty?’

Jesse smiles. It’s a welcome sight. ‘He’s a cop.’

I cough, and then wince. ‘What?’

‘He’s a copper.’ His eyebrows rise in a yes-you-heard-me-right gesture.

Steve’s a policeman? ‘You threatened to kill a cop?’

‘I was crazy mad.’ He pushes my hair from my face and gazes at me thoughtfully. ‘I’ve been thinking.’

I don’t like the sound of that. He doesn’t look like he does either. ‘What about?’

‘Well, about a lot of things. But the first thing is that I need to talk to Patrick about Van Der Haus.’

I knew I wasn’t going to like what he said, but I can’t see any way around this. Mikael is probably the equivalent of Patrick’s retirement fund, and I know he’s going to probably pass out with shock when I tell him that I can’t work with Mikael anymore. I really can’t, and I’ve not even told Jesse about the text message. But he has just confirmed that he thinks it was Mikael in that footage too.

Oh God. ‘It’s Monday!’ I blurt, shifting a little in an attempt to get myself up.

His hands swiftly press into my shoulders, pushing me back down. ‘Do you honestly think I’m letting you go anywhere?’ He shakes his head. ‘Listen, that’s not the only thing I’ve been thinking about.’ He commences chomp on his lip.

Oh no. What is he thinking about? ‘What?’ I ask quietly. He’s not even elaborated on his thoughts of Mikael, although I know exactly where he’s going with it.

He pushes himself in closer to me. ‘I can’t ever be without you.’

‘I know that.’

‘But it’s not because I’m worried about reverting back to my old ways. I love you because you give me purpose. You’ve filled a massive hole with your beautiful face and your spirit, and while I might be making your life a little more difficult with my challenging ways…’ He raises a sarcastic eyebrow. ‘I want to throw that right back at you.’

I laugh hard and wince immediately afterwards, but Jesse doesn’t join me in my hysterics. His lips purse and his grip increases on my hip. ‘I am not challenging, Jesse Ward.’ His eyebrows jump higher. He obviously disagrees, but I slap my hand over his mouth to halt his counter attack. ‘You just said that I’ve filled a massive hole with my spirit…’

‘And your beautiful face.’ he mumbles into my hand.

 I roll my eyes. ‘Part of that spirit is my incessant need to challenge your challenging ways. You’ll never get rid of that tiny part of me that rebels against you and you wouldn’t want to. That’s what makes me different from all the women of The Manor, who’ve licked your boots for far too long,’ It’s me who raises a sarcastic eyebrow now, and his eyes narrow slightly in return. I’m delivering these words to a man who is so incredibly thick skinned and unreasonable, I wouldn’t be surprised if he laughed in my face, but I continue anyway. ‘I’ve given myself to you completely. Every part of me is yours. No one will ever take me away from you. Not ever. And I know part of your issue is keeping me as far away from what the other women in your life represent.’

‘There have been no other women in my life!’ he argues through my hand.

I push it harder to his lips. ‘But I need to know something.’

His eyebrows rise. He can’t answer because my hand is too tight on his lips.

‘You want to keep me as far away from the women of The Manor, but what about the sex?’ I can feel him grinning against my palm. He finds this a funny question? I take my hand away from his mouth. Yes, he’s grinning that roguish grin. It’s a lovely sight, even if I’m not happy about his amusement at my question. He goes out of his way to dress me suitably, according to him, makes me wear lace – that request is suddenly very obvious – and he doesn’t want me to drink.

Oh God!

The reason for that has just landed with an enormous smack in my brain. ‘You don’t like me drinking because you think I’m going to do what you used to do when you were drunk. You think I’m going to want to fuck everything in sight!’ I practically screech the words at him and his grin soon disappears. I’ve not even given him a chance to answer my previous question and I’m lobbing him another. Well not a question; more of a conclusion.

‘Will you stop fucking swearing?’ He rolls onto his back, without so much as a hiss or spit of pain.

Oh no. I scramble up, ignoring my own pain, and straddle him. ‘It is, isn’t it? That’s the reason.’

I watch as he absorbs my words. He can’t possibly argue with it, I know I’ve got him here. He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth to talk, but nothing comes out. He takes another but still, nothing comes out. He does this three times before he eventually speaks. ‘It’s not just that, Ava. You’re vulnerable when you’re drunk.’

‘But it is part of the reason, isn’t it?’ I know the other part is men assuming I’m fair game. He already admitted that.

‘Yes, I guess so.’ he admits.

‘Okay, what about the sex?’ This I really need to know. He wants to make me the opposite of all things Manor-ish, yet he fucks me stupid.

The grin is back. ‘I already told you this. I can’t get close enough to you.’

‘Sleepy sex achieves that.’ I scoff. I’m not going to push this too far. I love dominant Jesse.

‘Yes, it does, but we have an incredible chemistry. I’ve never felt it before.’

My heart gallops in my chest and for the first time in nearly a day, it’s with happiness. He’s never felt it before? But he’s slept with dozens of women, or is it hundreds? My smile disappears instantly. ‘What feelings?’

His hands rest on my thighs. ‘It’s pure bliss, baby. Total gratification. Absolute, complete earth shifting, universe shaking love.’

My smiles back. ‘Yeah?’

‘Oh yeah. Complete heaven.’

I fall forward onto his chest. ‘Ouch!’

‘Careful,’ He pushes me back up. ‘Does it hurt bad?’ A flash of anger flies through his eyes as he waits for my answer, and I pray that John has sent Steve packing before Jesse gets hold of him. I still can’t believe he’s a Policeman.

‘It’s fine.’ I shift. ‘What am I going to do about work?’ I ask. Where has this weekend gone? I inwardly laugh. It’s gone on lavish shopping trips, lavish food, lavish jewellery, lavish lace dresses, a lavish party, a peculiar marriage proposal, lots of incredible sex, date rape, whippings…I groan. It’s been one hell of a weekend.

‘Unravel your knickers. I’ve spoken to Patrick.’ Jesse sits up and shifts us to the edge of the bed.

He has? ‘Is there anyone in my life who you haven’t trampled?’ I ask dryly.

He stands and places me on my feet, his wonderful nakedness right in front of me. ‘Don’t be cheeky.’ He warns with total seriousness. ‘There are no whip marks on your arse, lady. Anyway, why does our home look like it’s been ransacked by burglars?’

Oh, I forgot about that. How could I. ‘I was looking for something.’

He frowns. ‘What?’ he asks, but I detect a hint of cautiousness.

I study him, assessing his expression and his body language. I can’t fathom it at all. ‘Nothing.’

He turns me away from him and starts walking me to the bathroom with one hand on my elbow and another cupping my bum. His lack of curiosity as to what I was looking for has only heightened my suspicions. He would never usually accept such a vague answer to one of his questions.

‘What did you tell Patrick?’ I ask as he lifts me onto the vanity unit.

‘I told him that you passed out on Saturday and put your back out.’

Oh? Good thinking. ‘Did he not think it strange that you called him?’

‘I don’t know and I don’t really care.’ He starts drawing a bath and comes back over to me. ‘Look what you’ve done to your beautiful body.’ he says quietly, gazing over my shoulder to my bare back in the reflection of the mirror. ‘I won’t be taking you on your back for a while.’

A wave of disappointment travels through me as I glance over my shoulder. ‘Is that it?’ I blurt incredulously. I feel like I’ve been skinned alive and all I’ve got to show for my torture are a few long, red welts and one with a sliver of dried blood.

‘What do you mean, is that it?’ He sounds angry.

I drag my eyes away from my pitiful wounds on a scowl and look at Jesse, who is displaying a similar expression to mine, but probably fiercer. I grab his hips. ‘Turn around.’ I order as I push him to guide his reluctant, lean body away from me. His back comes into view and I gasp. Now that’s what I’m talking about. He has double the amount of lash marks, more blood and generally more to show for the shitty day we had yesterday. ‘See, yours are better than mine.’