Текст книги "Beneath This Man"

Автор книги: Jodi Ellen Malpas

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 17 (всего у книги 33 страниц)

I feel him slip a finger into the seam of my underwear and brush across my clitoris, prompting my head to drop to his chest and my hands to grab his arms, steadying myself as his touch sends electric shots to every nerve ending.

‘Wet.’ he says, all low and rough, extending the word as he rolls the tip of his finger around and around, applying a little pressure when he reaches the top. ‘Just for me?’

It’s a question that he wants an answer to. ‘Just for you.’ I pant.

The satisfying rumble that escapes his lips vibrates in the evening air. I will always be his.

My head lifts and his lips skim against mine, coaxing my mouth to part as my knickers are pushed down my thighs and his tongue slips between my lips on a shallow moan. The taste of him is addictive, and I return every lap, lick and stroke with my own, until he pulls away. He kneels before me, my hands resting on his strong shoulders as he drags my underwear the rest of the way down my legs, tapping my ankle to lift. After repeating the same on my other foot, he grabs my hips and I execute my usual jerk at his touch. He buries his nose in the hair at the apex of my thighs and then draws a painfully slow, long, hot, excruciating stroke straight up the centre of my core.

I moan, my knees buckling and an almost painful buzzing starts at the very tip of my sex.

His grip strengthens around my hips as he continues his hot trail straight up the centre of my body until he’s at my neck and then in my mouth, taking it with respect and passion, humming into me.

Releasing my lips, he locks eyes with me, his green gaze seeping into me. ‘You are my life.’ His clear words stab at my heart as he returns to worshipping my mouth delicately, running his palm over my bum and down the back of my thigh. He tugs gently to pull my leg up so my inner leg cradles his hip. He pulls back. ‘Do you love me?’ His eyes search mine.

Stupid question. ‘You know I do.’ I whisper.

‘Say it. I need to hear it.’ His voice is laced with desperation.

I don’t hesitate. ‘I love you.’ I kiss his moist, full mouth and wrap my arms around his neck, and then gracefully lift myself up his body to straddle him. ‘I’ll always love you.’ I stare him square in his beautiful, cloudy green eyes as he positions himself at my entrance. He hovers there and I struggle to resist sinking down onto him.

‘Do you need me?’ he asks.

‘I need you.’ I know this satisfies him as much, if not more, as I love you.

‘Always.’ he confirms, and then he pushes slowly and controlled into me in one patient motion, both of us sucking in sharp breaths as we unite.

He holds me to him while we stabilise our breathing and then walks over to the lounger and lowers me onto it, bringing his body down with me so the connection isn’t broken. He stares down at me with the most incredible amount of sincerity gushing from his eyes.

‘Feel how perfect we are together?’ He slowly withdraws and sinks back in, setting a smooth, steady foundation for what’s to come. He wants to really make love. ‘Do you feel it?’ he asks softly, repeating the scorching motion, accelerating my need for him.

‘I do.’ I confirm quietly. From the very first time we connected I felt it, probably even from the very first time our eyes met.

He continues with his slow, restrained strokes, and I shift my hands down to his back, trailing soft flicks over his firm flesh. He drops a kiss on my lips. ‘Me too. Let’s make love.’

I concentrate on absorbing him into me as he seeps back and forth, swiveling his hips each time and carrying me closer to climax. He’s looking at me with complete awe and devotion, our eyes burning into each other, his patience and willpower to maintain his steady, luscious pace making me love him all the more. He really does make sweet love.

His frown line swims with moisture that shimmers on his brow, even in the cool air surrounding us. I cup the side of his face as he stares down at me, his shaking body vibrating all over me. He’s pulsating inside me, and I instinctively contract around him as he lets out a rush of breath.

‘Oh, God, Ava.’ he breathes, sinking in and grinding down hard. The exact strokes of my inner wall are wreaking havoc with my need to thrust up and capture the orgasm that’s moving forward.

‘I can’t hold onto it anymore.’ I pant.

‘Together.’ he gasps, and I tense my thighs as he jerks forward again, this time less controlled. He puffs uncontrolled spurts of air and rests his forehead on mine as he regains control with another delicious plunge.

‘I’m there, Jesse.’ I whimper, feeling my self-control pang and dissipate.

I shatter underneath him on a loud cry.

He quickens his last few drives, sending him over the edge with me. ‘Oh, Jesus.’ he yells, thrusting one last time and holding himself deep inside me before collapsing on top of me to join me in my aftermath. His erection jumps and jacks as he comes inside me.

‘Fuckkkkkkkkk.’ I muse quietly, my eyes closing in relaxed satisfaction. This man has a direct link to my release switch.

‘Mouth.’ he murmurs into my neck through exhausted breaths. ‘Do you think you will ever stop swearing?’

‘I only swear when you challenge me or pleasure me.’ I defend myself and trail the word fuck across his back with my fingertip. He pushes himself up on his elbow, slipping out of me so he can look down into my eyes. Then he takes his finger and slowly trails the word mouth across my breasts before dropping a kiss on each nipple. I grin when he flicks his eyes up to me. They are dancing with mischief as he clamps his teeth lightly on my tight bud.

‘Ouch!’ I laugh.

He releases and laps a wet circle around my breast and then grabs my hip. I jump under him on a yelp as he clamps his teeth back down over my nipple. My body stills in a heartbeat as I catch on to his game immediately.

‘You can’t!’ I cry, as he slowly starts massaging my hip with the tips of his fingers while he remains locked onto my nipple. I clench my eyes shut and wiggle my feet to try and prevent the reflex reaction of bucking him off me. ‘Jesse, please stop!’ I hear him chuckle and increase the pressure on my hip and nipple. ‘Please!’ I squeal through a giggle. My nipple would probably hurt if I wasn’t being distracted by the unbearable hip torture. He’s driving me insane!

My lungs scream a thank you as I release a rush of air and muster up the strength to blank out his torture. I still under him and after what seems like forever, he eases off my hipbone and starts sucking the life back into my nipple.

I sigh. ‘You’ll be the one getting a retribution fuck.’

He grabs my hip again. ‘Ava!’ he scorns me tiredly before returning his attention to my breasts. I heave a huge contented exhale and close my eyes while Jesse lavishes me with his tongue.

‘You’re shivering.’ he says against my chest. ‘Let me get you inside.’ He lifts up, and I grumble an audible objection, yanking him back down onto me. He chuckles and bites my ear. ‘Comfy?’

‘Hmmm,’ I can’t talk.

‘Bed.’ He pulls me up so I can wrap myself around him.

‘You need to eat.’ All I’ve seen him have today is half a jar of peanut butter and half a sandwich. I don’t hold my breath that he had anything else. He needs food.

He straightens to standing position and carries me into the penthouse. ‘I’m not hungry. Are you?’

I’m not actually, not at all. ‘No, but promise me you’ll have a decent breakfast.’

‘I promise.’

‘Okay, take me to bed, God.’ I smile against his shoulder when I feel him silently laughing under me.

I’m lowered into bed and as soon as Jesse slips in besides me, I crawl onto his chest. He kisses my hair before smoothing his palm up and down my back. I shift closer to him; I can’t get near enough. As always, there is no space welcome between us.

Chapter 17

I wake up with Jesse buried deep inside me, his chest to my back as he holds my waist and pumps forward. My brain is not the only thing woken up. My body jumps to attention and I reach back and curl my fingers into his hair, arching my back and tilting my head back to find his lips.

I let him take my mouth, our tongues delving wildly as he pistons forward. I push myself back onto him with each surge, every one cranking me up further and further.

 ‘Ava, I can’t get enough of you.’ he gasps against my mouth. ‘Promise you’ll never leave me?’

As if! ‘I won’t.’ I fist my hands in his hair and yank his lips back down to mine. I love his mouth, even when he’s being challenging and I want to sew it shut. He needs constant reassurance that I’m not going anywhere. Will he always make me swear on this? I’ll always comply, without a shadow of a doubt, but what I really want is for him to know this without having to ask me repeatedly to swear on it.

I pull away to look at my uncertain man. He shows such confidence in everything except this. ‘Please, believe me.’ He maintains his firm, powerful drives as he looks at me, but he doesn’t give me the reassurance I need. I need to know he believes me. He offers a small smile then bangs our mouths back together, increasing the tempo of his thrusts further.

I try hard, but I can’t keep my mouth to his when he’s thundering forward with such intensity. I release him and face forward, gripping the edge of the mattress to keep myself in position as I’m yanked back onto him repeatedly.

The coil snaps and I jerk as we both yell at the same time and he charges forward manically, throwing me into a bottomless abyss of utter pleasure. I try and catch my breath, my heart fighting to gain control and my body convulsing of its own accord. Jesse swears and bucks forward one last frenzied time, and then the warm sensation of his release floods me.

‘Oh, my fucking God.’ he puffs, slipping out of me and falling onto his back.

I roll over and climb onto his body, straddling his hips and laying on his chest, nuzzling my face in his neck. ‘That wasn’t sleepy sex.’ I declare into his neck then press my lips to his throbbing vein.

‘No?’ he pants.

‘No. That was a sleepy fuck.’ I wince, immediately realising that I’ve just swore and we haven’t even got out of bed yet.

‘For God’s sake, Ava. Stop swearing!’ he grates with one hundred percent frustration.

I need to sort my mouth out, I never usually swear, it’s him! ‘Sorry.’ I bite his neck and suck a little.

‘Are you trying to mark me?’ he asks, but he doesn’t stop me.

‘No, just tasting.’

He turns his face into me and finds my lips, wrapping his big arms around my back. ‘Breakfast?’

I’m hungry and I want to feed Jesse, but I’m comfy where I am. I peck his lips and slide myself down his body until I’m nestled under his arm pit. ‘I’m comfy.’ I trail a path down his chest to his scar, tracing the length of his wound back and forth.

‘I love you, lady.’ He pulls his knee up into a bent position and lets me have my way. It’s a novelty.

‘I know you do.’

‘Do you?’ he asks uncertainly.

His question throws me. Of course I do. He tells me all of the time and if it’s as much as I love him, then it’s a lot. Immeasurable, in fact. Please don’t tell me that he doubts me here too. I look up at him. ‘Yes, I do.’

He reaches down and pulls me up his body and then flips me onto my back, pinning me under him with my wrists in his grasp above my head. ‘I don’t know if you do.’ His eyes burn into mine, his face serious.

Where has this come from? ‘You tell me enough, of course I know.’ I try and free my wrists so I can hold his face, but he refuses to let me go.

‘Words will never be enough, Ava.’ He’s so serious.

‘Is that why you test me with your challenging ways?’ I ask, in an attempt to lighten him up. I don’t like how downhearted he looks. I wish he wouldn’t worry about me leaving, me loving him, and wondering if I know how much he loves me. All those ships have long sailed.

‘Everything I do is because I am so crazy mad in love with you. I’ve never felt like this before, not ever.’ He’s almost scowling at me, like he’s mad that he feels this way. ‘I lose my head just at the thought of losing you. It makes me a total madman. Believe me, I’m aware of that.’ He drops a kiss on my lips. ‘I drive you insane, don’t I?’

Oh good Lord above! Is he admitting that he’s challenging? ‘You are very challenging, but you’re my challenging man and I love you, so you’re worth the frustration.’

‘You’re pretty challenging yourself, lady.’ he says dryly.

My eyes bulge. ‘Me?’ The man is a bloody nutcase!

‘But I love you too, and you are so, so worth the headache.’

I want to…well, challenge him. No sooner has he given me what I want – an admission – he tramples it with his own accusations.

Me? Challenging?

I start to make my case, but he hushes me with his lush lips, and I’m distracted instantly. He knows what he’s doing. I relax my aching, overworked tongue and fall into his slow, lapping rhythm, my hands still pinned above my head. His mouth is the most marvelous thing in the world.

He pecks my lips. ‘I knew you were the one the second I laid eyes on you.’

‘The one?’ I’m intrigued. His persistence and insistence that I belonged with him at the beginning of our relationship has always been confusing to me.

He nuzzles my ear. ‘The one to bring me back to life.’ he says in that matter-of-fact tone – the one that basically means he is saying something only he understands. Was he dead?

‘How did you know?’ He’s talking. I need to extract as much from him as possible.

He looks me straight in the eyes. They are bursting with meaning. ‘Because my heart started beating again.’ he whispers.

A lump jumps into my throat as I look up, completely stunned by his admission. That is some serious deep, and I’m totally overwhelmed by it. I don’t know what to say. He’s looking down at me, this devastating man, like I’m the only thing that exists.

I pull at his grip on my wrists until he lets go and throw my arms around his body, my legs around his waist, holding onto him like he is the only thing that exists.

He is, for me.

I don’t know the whys and wherefores of that statement, but the power of those words really does say it all. He can’t live without me. Well, I couldn’t live without him either. This man is my world.

He lays still over me and lets me squeeze him until my muscles ache. ‘Can I feed you?’ I ask when my thigh muscles start to scream in protest. He lifts me from the bed, still coiled around his body, and carries me from the bedroom, down the stairs. ‘I’m going to forget how to use my legs.’ I say as he reaches the bottom and heads for the kitchen.

‘Then I’ll carry you everywhere.’

‘You would like that, wouldn’t you?’ It would be a perfect excuse for him to have me nailed to him.

‘I would love it.’ He smirks at me and parks me on the cold marble, the coldness radiating through my backside reminding me that we’re both stark, bollock naked. I admire his perfect arse as he walks over to the fridge and collects an assortment of breakfast things and a jar of peanut butter.

I slide off the island. ‘I’m supposed to be making you breakfast.’ I shove him out of the way. ‘Sit.’ I command in my most demanding tone. He grins and grabs the jar of peanut butter, before tweaking my nipple and doing a runner to the stool. ‘What do you want?’ I ask as I shove some bread in the toaster. I turn and see him diving into his fresh jar.

‘Fried eggs.’ he says around a finger, blatantly trying to suppress a grin.

I look down at my naked form. I might have to get dressed if he wants fried anything. Looking back up to him, I find he has lost the battle and is grinning, his face delighted. ‘I’ll cook yours, if you cook mine.’ I run my eyes down his naked chest and raise my eyebrows.

He pulls his finger out. ‘Savage.’

Both of our heads snap towards the kitchen archway when we hear the front door opening. I flick my wide eyes back to Jesse who has a finger suspended in mid-air on its way to his mouth. He is looking as equally who-the-fuck?

Jumping up, he knocks his jar of peanut butter flying off the island, sending it crashing to the floor. It smashes, scattering glass everywhere. I’m panicking now.

‘Fucking hell!’ He looks at me, all wide eyed. ‘It’s Cathy!’

Oh good God help me!

I ripped her head off last night and now I’m going to flash her! And to top it off, her burnt lasagna is sat on the side, bold as brass. She’s going to hate me. There is no way out of this kitchen without going towards the source of our distress. I stare at Jesse. He’s frozen on the spot, looking as torn as I am. Cathy probably won’t mind copping a load of him. I smile, but then snap back to the here and now. I finish ogling my finely tuned man and peg it across the kitchen.

‘Shit!’ A stab of pain shoots through my foot. ‘Ouch ouch ouch!’ I carry on my way, ignoring the pain.

Jesse is not far behind me, laughing uncontrollably as we run up the stairs. ‘Mouth!’ he splutters and smacks my arse.

‘Goodness gracious!’

I hear the distressed voice as we reach the top. Oh, what must we look like? I run full pelt to the bedroom and throw myself under the covers. I’m mortified. I’ll never be able to look her in the eye again.

I feel Jesse land on the bed. ‘Where are you?’ He works his way through the covers until he locates me with my head buried in the pillow. ‘There you are.’ He flips me over and submerges his face in my breasts. ‘You’ve upset the concierge, and now you’ve really upset my housekeeper.’

‘Don’t!’ I throw my arms over my face in complete despair.

He laughs. ‘Let me see your foot.’ He shifts himself onto his heels and clasps my foot in his hand.

‘It hurts.’ I complain when I feel his fingertip run lightly over my heel.

‘Baby, you’ve got a piece of glass stuck.’ He kisses the heel of my foot and jumps up from the bed. ‘Tweezers?’

I throw one arm off my face and point to the bathroom. ‘Make-up bag.’ I grumble. I can’t believe I’ve just flashed Jesse’s housekeeper. This is horrible – mortifying. I need a dressing gown.

I feel the bed sink under his weight again and he clasps my foot. ‘Hold still.’ he instructs softly.

I hold my breath and reposition my arms so my palms are flat on my burning red face, but all embarrassment is momentarily eliminated when I feel the warm wetness of his tongue dragging up my instep, licking the trail of blood away. I shiver under his tongue’s stroke and remove my hands to look down at him, shifting a little, my thighs tightening. He smiles knowingly, his eyes sparkling, before he wraps his lips around the offending shard.

‘What are you doing?’

‘I’m getting it out.’ he says against my heel. He sucks on my heel and pulls away before taking the tweezers and getting up close and personal with the heel of my foot.

I grin as I watch his concentration frown appear across his brow.

‘There.’ He kisses my foot and releases it. It was pretty pain free, actually. ‘What are you grinning at?’ He looks at me in amusement.

‘Your frown line.’

‘I don’t have a frown line.’ He’s offended.

‘You do.’

He crawls up the bed and lays himself over me. ‘Miss O’Shea, are you saying I have wrinkles?’

My grin widens. ‘No. It only pops up when you’re concentrating, or if you’re concerned.’

‘It does?’

‘It does.’

‘Oh.’ He frowns. ‘Is it there now?’

I laugh and he bites my boob, sending me on a little buck under him.

‘Get ready.’ He lands me with a hard kiss. ‘I’ll go and see if Cathy’s run out screaming.’

My laughing abates at the reminder of Jesse’s poor housekeeper, who has just copped a load of my bare arse. ‘Okay.’

‘I’ll see you downstairs.’ He leans back down and plants a molten lasting kiss on my mouth. ‘Don’t be long.’

‘I won’t.’ I grumble, like the sulky little girl that I am.

He jumps up and pulls on a pair of checkered lounge pants, and then leaves me so he can go and placate his housekeeper.

I distract myself from my despair by having a shower and getting myself ready, slipping on a floral tea dress – probably too short – and my flat sandals. I pull my hair up into a ponytail. I’ll do.

As I walk into the kitchen like a timid waif, all fidgety and nervous, Jesse looks up from his salmon and scrambled egg bagel and gives me one of my smiles. His bare chest distracts me fleetingly from my embarrassment, and I don’t miss his slight scowl when he registers the length of my dress. I ignore him.

‘Here she is. Cathy this is Ava, love of my life.’ He pats the stool next him as Cathy turns around from the fridge to look at me.

My cheeks burn and I offer her a small, apologetic smile. I feel much better when I detect a red flush in her cheeks. I’ve been so worried about my own mortification, I hadn’t considered how embarrassed she might be. I take a seat next to Jesse and he pours me some orange juice.

‘I like your dress.’ he smirks. ‘Too short but excellent access. It can stay.’

I look at him in horror and give him a kick under the island. He laughs and sinks his teeth into his bagel. I’m shocked by his behaviour but pleasantly surprised by his acceptance – he’s not marched me back upstairs in disgrace.

‘Ava, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Would you like some breakfast?’ Cathy’s voice is friendly and warm. I deserve neither.

‘You too, Cathy, I would love some breakfast, thank you.’

‘What would you like?’ She smiles at me. She has the kindest face.

‘I’ll have the same as Jesse, please.’ I wouldn’t be surprised if she turned around and told me to stuff it up my arse, but she doesn’t. She nods her acceptance and carries on about her business.

I pick up my glass of juice and glance at Jesse. He’s looking unapologetically smug. I’m glad he finds my discomfort amusing, but I can’t imagine he’d be so tickled about the situation if Cathy was a man. Reaching over to his lap, I slip my hand into his lounge pants and grab his cock loosely. He jumps, smacking his knee on the marble and starts coughing around his mouthful of food. Cathy turns around, startled at Jesse choking and fetches him a glass of water, passing it over the counter to him. He holds his hand up in a thank you gesture.

‘You okay?’ I ask, all concerned as I start to stroke his hardened length slowly.

‘Fine,’ His voice is all high pitched and stressed.

Cathy returns to preparing my breakfast and I continue wickedly playing havoc with Jesse’s sanities. He drops his bagel and takes a silent, controlled inhale, looking at me with wide eyes.

Ignoring his shock, I roll my thumb slowly over his moist tip before drawing down again to his base. I feel the incessant throb under my grasp and the wetness of cum escaping the tip. Gathering the moisture, I glide smoothly up and down his iron stiff erection.

I turn my eyes on him. ‘Good?’ I mouth, and he shakes his head in desperation.

I’m in my element. This has never happened. He must have a lot of respect for Cathy because I know for sure that with anyone else, I would have been hauled out of the kitchen by now.

‘There you are, Ava.’ Cathy slides a plate over the island to me.

I drop Jesse like a hot potato and slip my thumb into my mouth, before pulling my plate towards me. I hear a sharp intake of breath and feel his eyes burning into me.

‘Thanks Cathy.’ I say cheerfully. I pick my bagel up and take a big bite. ‘Cathy, this is delicious.’ I inform her as she starts loading the dishwasher. She looks at me and smiles.

I’m aware of scorching eyes still burning into my face as I enjoy my bagel, so I slowly turn to look at him, finding a face full of shock and horror.

He raises his eyebrows at me and then flicks his head to the kitchen exit. ‘Upstairs, now.’ he says quietly as he gets up. ‘Thanks for breakfast, Cathy. I’m going for a shower.’ He eyes me. I nod.

‘You’re welcome, boy. Can we go through what you would like me to do today? I’m all out of sync and I can see that you have done absolutely zero, except break doors and make holes in walls.’ She dries her hands on a tea towel and gives Jesse’s back a disapproving look.

He doesn’t turn around to face her because he’s concealing the huge arousal tenting the front of his lounge pants. I mentally chalk a tally for me on a smirk.

‘Ava can sort that out with you as soon as she’s helped me with something upstairs.’ he shouts over his shoulder as he disappears.

Can I? I don’t know what Cathy does, or what he wants her to do today, and I have absolutely no intention of following him upstairs to finish what I’ve started.

I sit exactly where I am, taking a deep breath of confidence. ‘Cathy, I just wanted to apologise for yesterday and this morning.’

She rolls her eyes. ‘Don’t worry, darling, honestly.’

‘I was so rude to you, and then this morning…well, I wasn’t expecting company.’ I feel my cheeks burning up again as I pick at the last bits of my bagel.

‘Ava, really, it’s fine. Jesse told me you had a bad day and he failed to notify you of my return. I understand.’ She smiles at me as she dusts down her apron. It’s a sincere smile. I like Cathy. With her grey bob, friendly face and floral skirts, she is typically wholesome.

‘It won’t happen again.’ I take my plate to the dishwasher and go to open it, but the plate is whipped from my hand before I have a chance to see through my chore.

‘I’ll take that. You better go and help my boy with whatever it is he needs you for.’

Oh, I know exactly what he needs me for and I’m not going anywhere. He can sort himself out. It’s killing me to deny him, but his face was just brilliant. ‘Oh, he’ll manage.’

‘Okay, shall we go through what I should get on with? I have a roster, but being away for so long, it’s all gone to cock!’ She takes a pad and pen from the front of her apron and gets ready to take notes. ‘I should probably start with the washing and ironing.’

‘Urm, I’m not sure,’ I shrug.  ‘I don’t even really live here.’ I whisper. I want to add that I’ve been abducted and moved in against my will.

‘You don’t?’ Her face is puzzled ‘My boy said you did.’

‘Well, it’s a conversation yet to be had,’ I explain. ‘He doesn’t like the word no. Well, not from me, anyway.’

Her shiny forehead furrows. ‘What, my easygoing boy?’

I scoff.  ‘Yes, so I’m told.’ If anyone else says he’s easygoing, I might just trample them.

‘Well, it’s nice to have a lady in the house.’ she says, collecting some cleaner from under the sink. ‘My boy needs a girl.’ she muses to herself.

I smile at Cathy’s affectionate referral to Jesse. I wonder how long she has worked for him? Jesse had said that she was the only woman he couldn’t live without, although I suspect that has changed now.

She sprays the worktop down with anti-bacterial spray and starts wiping. ‘I’ll wait for Jesse then, if you would prefer.’

‘Yes, thank you. I’m just going to make a few calls.’ I notice my phone charging on the side but no bag. ‘Have you seen my bag?’

‘I popped it in the cloakroom, darling. Oh, and I’ve had Clive sort out the elevator door.’

I cringe. ‘Oh, thank you.’ I grab my phone and make my way out of the kitchen to retrieve my bag. She probably thinks I’m a slob as well as a rude cow, a vandal and a flasher.

I find my bag and glance down at my phone, noting two missed calls from my Mum and a text from Matt. My shoulders sag. I should delete it, but curiosity gets the better of me.

I don’t know what got into me. I’m sorry x.

I bristle from head to toe and delete the message. The last thing I need is Jesse finding it. He was sorry before and it’s still bothering me how he knows about Jesse. I should ring my Mum first, but I have a friend with some explaining to do. She takes a while, but she eventually answers. I know she’ll be looking down at her screen, wondering what to say.

‘You’re a member!’ I blurt accusingly when she finally picks up.

‘And?’ She’s aiming for nonchalance, but I’m detecting irritation.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘It’s none of your business.’ she retorts.

‘Thanks!’ I’m completely offended. We tell each other everything.

‘It’s just a bit of fun, Ava.’ she huffs impatiently.

I’ve heard this before, but I know there’s more to it. I know she likes Sam and I can’t see how joining him in all things kinky and going along with his lifestyle is going to get her what she wants. This is a disaster waiting to happen. ‘You keep saying that.’ I grate down the phone. ‘Why won’t you admit there is more to it?’

‘Like what?’ she asks, her tone indicating surprise – surprise that I’ve come out and asked the million dollar question.

‘Like you really like him.’ I say, completely exasperated.

She scoffs. ‘I do not!’

‘Oh, you’re hopeless.’ I snap. Why can’t she just swallow her pride and admit it? What harm would it do, especially to me?

‘Talking of hopeless; how’s Jesse? Fuck me, Ava. That man can screw!’

I laugh. ‘Yes, he can. Matt tried to jump my bones before Jesse ambushed the flat. He proceeded to tell Jesse that we had a little snog. I think Matt might be nursing a black eye this morning.’

‘Ha, good!’ She laughs, and I can’t help the small smile of satisfaction developing on my face. He deserved it.

‘He knows about Jesse’s little drink issue.’ I add. I’m not laughing now.

‘How?’  Her shock matches mine.

‘I have no idea. Anyway, I’ve got to ring my mother. I guess I’ll see you later.’

‘Oh yes!’ she chirps excitedly. I can’t match her excitement for the anniversary dinner tonight. ‘See you there!’

‘Bye.’ I hang up and dial my mother before she sends out the search party.

‘Ava?’ Her shrill voice assaults my eardrums.

‘Mum, not so loud!’

‘Sorry. Matt’s called again.’

What?

I take myself across to the main open area and sit myself down. Any hopes of being cheered up by my mother have been well and truly dashed with that little statement.

‘Ava, he said you’ve moved in with a raving alcoholic who has a terrible temper. He beat Matt up!’

I fall back in a chair and look up to the ceiling in total mental exasperation. Why can’t the prick just crawl into the dark hole he came from and die? ‘Mum, please don’t speak to him anymore.’ I plead. What a lowlife he really is, dumping this shit on my parents. It just reinforces my conclusions about the deceitful, nasty snake.

‘Is it true?’ she asks tentatively. I can see her in my mind’s eye flicking a worried glare at my Dad.

‘Not exactly,’ I can’t completely lie to her. She’ll have to find out where I am eventually. ‘It’s nothing like Matt says, Mum.’