Текст книги "Searching for Always"

Автор книги: Jennifer Probst

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Текущая страница: 2 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

“I’m going to sue you for wrongful termination!”

Arilyn got up from the desk, stormed to the door, and yanked it open. “I’ll look forward to the legal papers. Have a good day and thanks for using Kinnections.”

He stared at her for a few minutes before slowly getting up and trudging out the door. The other thing she had learned about Ben was that he was a bit of a bully. Stand up to him first, and he backed down immediately. The little bell over the entrance jingled merrily, confirming his exit.

Muttering under her breath, she slammed the counseling room door and marched to her own office. Idiot. A waste of time even trying to get him to see what his real issue was or to treat women as anything other than a bodily ornament for his arm. Better to cut him now and give him his refund. She was sure Kate would understand.

She got back to her desk, moved her mouse, and tried to concentrate on the endless load of work that had piled up. The new computer program had some glitches that needed to be worked out, and she needed to step up her training with Lenny and Mike before she brought them back to the shelter for the adoption process. This morning, she’d found her slippers chewed up, so the little incident with the red shoes hadn’t been smart. Parenting a puppy was like raising a toddler, and routine and discipline were key. Of course, their fur ball faces and adorable wide eyes killed her every time.

She reached for her water bottle and chugged the last drop. Proper hydration was the key to good health. Another step she always followed in her endless pursuit of doing the right thing.

The lightbulb crackled and lit.

She did everything right. Always. She listened to authority figures. Treated her body like a temple. Completed karmic service to help others. Kept her mind calm with meditation. Helped others, whether they be human or canine. She gave her full heart and soul to every task, knowing it meant a big difference to do things lovingly rather than grudgingly.

But she ached for more. Something bigger that came to taunt her in the deep night, until she twisted under the sheets and tears stung her eyes with frustration. A yearning for . . .

More.

The familiar anger washed over her. She’d meditated for a full hour last night with a garnet around her neck and the cottage cleared of all negative energy. So why did she still feel pissed off, depressed, and generally miserable? Why was she suddenly thinking a Big Mac, a beer, and a big-assed ice-cream cone would put her in a better mood than chanting in the goal for peace and harmony?

Yep. It was official.

She was losing her mind.

A knock sounded. Kate popped her head in with a big smile. “Got a minute?”

Arilyn forced a smile back at her friend. “Of course.”

Kate strode in, clad in her usual black pants and lace top, her blond hair a halo around her face, highlighting her ocean-blue eyes and pale pink mouth. The driving force behind Kinnections, Kate was the main CEO and handler, making sure the business thrived and bringing her own special touch to love matches.

A real touch.

Gifted with the ability to sense a true soul connection between two people, Kate experienced a burst of electricity when she touched a couple meant to be. She’d lost many of her own dates to others until Slade Montgomery came on the scene, determined to prove Kinnections a fraud. Their relationship was rocky, passionate, and ended up with a true happy ever after.

Her friend slid into the purple chair opposite her desk and cocked her head. That assessing blue gaze traveled over her with frank concern. Uh-oh. There was nothing scarier than when her friends decided she needed an intervention. They were ruthless. Arilyn straightened up in her chair, determined to show no weakness.

“How are you doing?”

“Great.” The lift of Kate’s brow made her change the answer. “I mean, it’s hard, of course, but I’m doing much better. How are the wedding plans? Do you need any help?”

Kate was scheduled to marry Slade in a few weeks, and crunch time was upon her. Arilyn had always wondered why she counseled so many women planning weddings, and now realized why. It was a bitch. If a couple actually made it intact and still in love to the ceremony, they had a 50 percent shot for success.

“I’m taking your advice and letting it go. The details are complete. And I’m tired of getting caught up in ridiculousness. I almost had a breakdown when the Asiatic lilies weren’t available and they suggested calla lilies. I mean, am I nuts or what? Slade will dump me before I even get to the ceremony. You were right, A. It’s not the wedding that’s important, it’s the marriage. I refuse to stress any longer.”

“Good for you. Concentrate on the reward. St. Lucia, right?”

Kate sighed. “Yeah. Sun, sand, and sex. The perfect trifecta.”

Arilyn laughed. “Honeymoons are worth the craziness of the wedding.”

“Yeah, but we both wish we could bring Robert. We can’t put him on a plane, though, so he’ll have to stay. Thanks so much for taking care of him.”

“He’s going to be fine, Kate. He’s stayed with me before, and you know how much I love him.” Kate’s dog, Robert, was paraplegic, and used a scooter to move around. Kate had rescued him years ago, and they were a tight team. Now Slade was just as madly in love with him, and they became a true family. “I’ll spoil him so bad he won’t want to go back.”

Kate chuckled. “Slade would fight you to the death. He yelled at me the other day for taking up too much room in the bed. I mean, are you kidding me? He literally chose the dog over me.”

“And you love it.”

“Yeah, I do.” Her face became misty, and once again Arilyn struggled to fight the punch in her gut. The need for what Kate experienced. God, she’d never been a jealous person before, and not that she wasn’t happy for her friend, she just wanted it for herself, too. “But I’m worried about leaving Kinnections for such a long time. We’ve doubled our workload, and since we lost Gen as our assistant, I haven’t been able to get anyone good.”

Arilyn tapped her finger against her lips. “I know the last temp was a bit undependable.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “She came in late, and every other day she had her period. Nightmare.”

“We’ll work it out.”

“Let’s talk about it. Can you ring in Kennedy?”

“Sure.” Arilyn buzzed her friend. “Can you come in here? Kate’s in my office.”

A few moments later, Kennedy Ashe strolled in. Looking perfect as usual, her caramel-colored hair falling in thick waves over her shoulders, the third in their crew handled all the social events and makeovers for Kinnections. Her red Jimmy Choos clicked on the floor, and she slid into the final seat, legs crossed, looking smart and polished in her Jones red suit with matching polish on her toes and nails. She was a complete dynamo in her job and personal life, until her newest client, Nate Dunkle, nerd extraordinaire and rocket scientist, burst into her life. His awkward social behavior and disastrous physical appearance called to her sense of challenge, until she decided to transform him and find him love. Then proceeded to fall for him herself.

It was a long time before Kennedy was able to admit her love for Nate and accept she was worthy for him to love her back. Since then, they’d moved in together and Nate was working on the next step: getting her to marry him. Arilyn would bet her money on Nate any day. Kennedy was still refusing, not wanting to ruin what they had, but slowly the rest of her walls were coming down.

“What’s up, ladies? We’re not drinking?” Kennedy asked.

Kate laughed and held up her own water bottle. “It’s ten a.m. I think we should hold off on the hotel liquor bottles till at least noon.”

Kennedy pursed her lips in a famous pout. “As Buffett says, it’s five o’clock somewhere.”

“But not here,” Arilyn pointed out.

“Semantics. You didn’t drag me in here to discuss the pros and cons of truffles versus photo frames for favors, did you? Because I’m on your mom’s side. Mini vibrators with Kate & Slade Forever imprints are the bomb.”

Kate choked on her water. “Never gonna happen, dude. And screw you. Whatever happened to your reassurances that you’ll help in whatever capacity for the wedding?”

“I got burnt out. If I ever agree to marry Nate, we are so going to Vegas. Just us, you guys, and Elvis. Heaven.”

Arilyn grinned. The numbness melted a bit as she savored the warmth of female friendship. “We’ll be there. In the meantime, Kate is worried about leaving Kinnections behind during the honeymoon. I think we’re here to reassure her.”

Kate and Kennedy exchanged a meaningful look. Not good. This whole encounter stank of a setup. “Well, yes, I’m worried. But it’s more directed at you, A.”

Arilyn blinked. “Me? I’m perfectly capable of handling my job while you’re away. I’m fine.”

“Umm, did you just throw out a client and tell him to sue us?”

Arilyn winced. Oops. Of course they’d heard her temper tantrum. Not good, since she was the one who had taught them to deal with difficult clients by not giving in to anger. “I had a weak moment. He was hopeless.”

Kate raised a brow. “You always told me there’s no such thing as a hopeless client.”

Irritation prickled. Another strange emotion. “I lied. Can we move on?”

“No,” Kate said. “You’ve been a complete mess. Slamming doors. Throwing out a client. Gen said she stopped by and overheard you yelling at Mike.”

Shoot. She never raised her voice, but honestly, chewing her expensive basket was way past her normal patience. She apologized later, and they’d made up with a cuddle. “There was a good reason. I’m fine.”

“Bullshit,” Kennedy tossed out, and leaned forward. “You’re a mess over the breakup with asshat. Usually a good cry, a weekend in bed, and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s helps, but you’re not getting better. Instead, you keep burying yourself in projects and slipping further away.”

She stiffened. She was a counselor, dammit, and knew everything about healing. “I have everything under control. Work helps distract me, and time heals all wounds. Forgive me if I can’t be all lightness and fun lately, but I’ll handle it.”

Kate sighed. “Sweetie, we’re not saying you need to spring back. You’re misunderstanding. There’s a distance and sadness around you we’ve never seen before. Like you’re going through the steps but aren’t really here. We think you’re taking on too much, too soon. Besides offering private yoga lessons, you took on the anger management course, the shelter fund-raiser, plus all your duties here. Now you’re watching Robert, and with me gone for two weeks, well, I’m afraid.”

Pain sliced through her at the thought that her friends believed she couldn’t handle her job. “I’d never fail Kinnections.”

Kate glared. “Are you kidding me right now? I don’t give a damn about Kinnections or the computer system or the matches. I care about you. I don’t want to be away in St. Lucia and find out you needed me and I wasn’t here! Or that you got sick because you’re overworked and won’t come to us for help. A, you don’t realize this, but out of all three of us, you’re the one who never opens up.”

She gasped. Her fingers flew to her throat. “What? How could you say that?”

Kennedy nodded. “I agree. You isolated yourself in this relationship, just like Genevieve did with her ex-fiancé. We knew you were unhappy, but you refused to talk about it.”

Genevieve MacKenzie was best friends with Kate, and they had all gotten close over the summer. Engaged to a successful surgeon, she ran out the day of her wedding, right into her best friend Wolfe’s arms. “Gen was being emotionally abused by David. It was completely different,” Arilyn said.

“Was it?” Kate asked. “He refused to meet your friends. Insisted you keep your affair a secret. Snuck you around like he was a married man, hiding you from the public. Why didn’t you ever call him by his name?”

She jerked back. Why? Because it would make it too real. This way, she was able to engage in the fantasy of a secret love affair with her teacher. She was able to deny the reality of their relationship and the fact that he never really wanted her. At least, not full-time. He’d enjoyed taking her off the shelf to play with but always returned her to his holding place. Shame choked her. God, even her friends had seen the truth. And they were right. She’d never opened up to them the way she insisted they did with their own relationships.

She was a hypocrite.

“I’m sorry.” Misery leaked into her voice. “I think I knew if I let you in, it would prove our relationship wasn’t real. And I so wanted it to be real.”

Kate blinked furiously, the wet sheen of tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry you got hurt, sweetie. Out of all the people in the world, you deserve this the least. But from now on, you need to let us in. No more secrets. You also need to learn to ask for help. Hell, Ken and I have put the call out a dozen times, and you always answered. Gen, too. Now it’s your turn, and we want to help.”

Kennedy cleared her throat. “We love you, you idiot. Watching you isolate yourself is killing us. Understood?”

She swallowed and nodded. “Understood.” She paused, trying to find the words to describe why she’d been avoiding her friends. “I’m just so mad,” she whispered. “I mean, really, really mad.”

There was a short moment of silence. “Well, duh,” Kennedy finally said. “The man you loved was screwing someone else. You have every right to be pissed off, A. Why are you so afraid of a little righteous anger?”

Because it didn’t help. Because she’d watched her mother die raging at God and the universe the entire time. Because her dad took that same anger of losing his spouse and spewed it out at himself, until he let himself die just to be with her. Because it wouldn’t bring back the man she loved or change the situation. Instead, she tried to take those messy emotions and transform them. Transcend them into something good so she didn’t destroy herself as her parents and so many people she counseled had done.

But she swallowed the words back and nodded. “You’re right. Maybe I need to get in touch with my angry female side.”

“I have a list of great songs on my iPod to give you,” Kate said with a grin. “Now, what can we do to make sure you don’t work yourself into the ground? Can you get out of any of your jobs for a bit?”

She sighed. “Not really. I can back off on the fund-raiser for a bit, since there are other volunteers who can take the reins. I rented out the firehouse for private yoga classes, but when you’re away, I won’t schedule any.”

“Speaking of anger issues, how about that anger management class?” Kennedy asked. “Sounds like a nightmare to me.”

Arilyn grinned. “Maybe because you can use a class or two yourself?”

“Funny.”

This time she laughed out loud. “Just kidding. No, I have a small group of three this time. It runs for six weeks, for a few hours in the afternoon. I enjoy it, actually. Many of the people have good hearts. They just haven’t learned how to control their emotions.”

“Well, if anyone can keep them in line, you can. Nate and I will give you any extra help you need for the fund-raiser. We’ve been doing so well, there’s no reason we can’t back off on any new matches for a bit. Just until we get our full team back and hire a new assistant.”

She fought her instinct to reject the offer, hating to depend on anyone but herself. Instead, she forced herself to go along. “Agreed.”

“Done. I feel better,” Kate said. Her friends stood up. “Mugs this Friday night?”

Arilyn hesitated. She’d missed the last girls’ night out. “I’m in.”

“I’ll call Gen and check on her schedule,” Kate said.

“I’m good, too,” Kennedy said. She paused at the door. “Oh, just a quick BTW. If anyone contacts either of you regarding my whereabouts last night, can you just confirm we were hanging out at your house, Kate? You were, too, A.”

Arilyn frowned. “What happened? Why do you need an alibi? Why do I?”

Kennedy grinned without a shred of guilt. “I had these rotten eggs in the refrigerator I needed to get rid of. Imagine my surprise when I drove past the house of he who shall not be named? Let’s just say I got rid of them.”

Kate burst out laughing. Arilyn stared at her friend. “You threw eggs at his house? How did you even know where he lived?”

Kennedy wagged a finger at her. “Darling, you underestimate me. We all know where he lives. The stench followed me all the way down the road. It was quite poetic. See you ladies later.”

She sashayed out of the office with Kate following, still laughing.

Arilyn buried her face in her hands, wondering what he thought of the childish gesture. Probably took it with a stoic grimness, admitting his fault. Ready to be punished like some martyr.

Asshat.

The image of moldy, runny eggs all over his neat white stucco house hit her vision. Suddenly, she began to laugh, and a hint of lightness flowed through her body.

Breakfast, and justice, had been served.

Arilyn got back to work. She sifted through the papers on the three clients who were attending anger management. One cited by the court. One from the Verily police station. Another volunteer in an attempt to woo back his spouse.

Time to sift through the background information on each man and draft up a plan. Every personality was different, and she respected how unique reactions came from a wellspring of emotion, usually based in the past. The first two were easy. Road rage was more common now than ever, and probably revolved around a type-A personality with control issues. Eli White. Her mind clicked on various paths in order to give him tools to use on the road and in other social situations.

The second man, Luther Jones. Lost his temper too many times with his wife and now was paying the price. She gave him credit for wanting to change, for loving someone enough to sign up for such a class. He seemed to own some triggers within his personality that they’d need to work on, but again, a basic case with a high chance of success.

She picked up the chart for the third man.

Her fingers dropped it immediately, and it floated back down to the desk. Her breath constricted in her chest. Not. Possible.

Officer Stone Petty.

A shiver raced down her spine and goose bumps prickled on her skin. The image of his face floated before her. Staggering height. Massive muscles. A nose that had obviously been broken, craggy rough features, a cruel perpetual sneer to his full lips. The goatee only added to his dark presence, that of a man you’d never want to meet alone. In an alley or anywhere.

From the moment they met, she had taken an instant dislike to the man. He was too big. Too confident. Too masculine.

Too everything.

He sucked the air out of the room and commanded everyone’s attention without a word. Besides the odd crackle of electricity between them, she had an odd urge to bend to his will, do what he said, surrender to anything he asked of her.

Nuts. She was certifiably nuts.

So she’d gone on the offensive immediately, refusing to cower under his dominant stare and deep, gravelly voice, which did bad things to her tummy.

They’d met when he and his partner stepped into a violent scene between Genevieve and her ex-fiancé. Then he responded to another case of vandalism on Gen’s house. Both times, Arilyn had called the police, and been met with a stubborn, pain-in-the-butt Stone Petty.

How could this work? How could she possibly counsel him when he’d refused from the very first second to take directions from her? She knew his type well. The know-it-all, superior, “I am God” complex many cops had. Of course, she understood the motivations behind it. Dealing with the underside of human nature eventually takes a toll. She’d counseled cops before, but never one with so much burning energy and . . . darkness.

Arilyn dragged in a breath and picked the paper up again. This was ridiculous. She couldn’t pull out now. She’d study his chart, his past, and try to find a route that would work.

After scanning the details of the scene that had forced him into anger management class, her heart softened. He’d tried to protect a child. Yes, his career may be taking pieces from his sanity without him realizing it. She’d need to dig deep into his past and his brain to try to help.

The image of his dark brown gaze boring into hers ripped another shiver from her body.

He was a walking disaster. Smoker. Drinker. A murky past. He’d been involved in another domestic abuse episode in the Bronx. Left a year ago. For peace and quiet? Perhaps. But one thing she had learned was that even Verily had its darkness.

She tapped a finger against the manila folder. She’d need to tread carefully with this one. Make sure he knew from the outset who was in charge.

Arilyn hoped she could pull it off.