Текст книги "Searching for Always"

Автор книги: Jennifer Probst

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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

The girls all stared. Gen finally whispered. “You mean Yoga Man? Here?”

Kennedy frowned. “I’ll show him a new yoga position he won’t soon forget. Do I need to get more eggs?”

Arilyn laughed. God, it was so good to have a tight circle of friends who knew all her crappy issues, her choices in bad men, and loved her anyway. “No eggs needed. He wanted me back, of course. I said no, I’ve moved on. He looked shocked that I knew how to say no to him, and I began to drink buckets of wine. Oh, and there’s a healthy broccoli bake for dinner.”

Kate pressed her lips together. “He’s such a jerk. If he thinks you’re gonna transcend two cheating incidents, he’s nuts. Are you okay, A?”

Her friends waited for the answer. Slowly, she nodded. “Yeah, I am. It hurt, but I know I made the right decision. I don’t want that kind of life for myself.”

Gen nodded. “That’s why I ran out on my wedding day. It just hit me, and I had to make a choice. You won’t regret it. Something better is on the horizon.”

She thought of her hot cop ready to do dirty things to her, with her, and felt heat rise to her cheeks.

Kennedy pounced. “Uh-oh. And something already has. Or someone. Spill.”

“Nothing. Let me get the casserole out.”

Kennedy blocked the oven and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Hell, no. Who’s got you blushing? I know it’s not those dogs you love so much. Oh, is it the director from the shelter? He seemed hot.”

“Anthony? No, he’s great but more of a friend.”

Gen tilted her head. “It’s not that cop from the summer, is it?”

All the girls turned to look at her. “What cop?” Kate demanded. “How do you know about this and I don’t?”

Gen grinned. “When Arilyn called the cops on my ex, we rode in the squad car with him. He had a gorgeous partner—Devine, I think his name was. But it was the other one that held Arilyn’s attention.”

Arilyn squeezed her eyes shut and groaned. Nightmare. She couldn’t lie. She had promised. “He’s in my anger management course,” she finally said. “Officer Stone Petty.”

“That’s the one!” Genevieve snapped her fingers. “He was looking at you like he wanted to gobble you up. He reminded me of the big bad wolf. Really tall, dark, and badass.”

Yes, on first sight he was a bit scary. Now? He’d saved her and Pinky. He hated children and women getting abused. He’d been through a crappy childhood and didn’t whine. He was amazing.

Huh?

When had she actually begun to like him? Did she like him?

Kennedy clucked her tongue. “About time you date a hottie. A cop in uniform? Kill me now. I’m hiring one for Kate’s stripper Friday night.”

Kate groaned. “I don’t want a stripper! I have Slade in my bed and have no need to see any other man naked.”

“We have to do it. Tradition. It will be tasteful.”

“Strippers aren’t tasteful.”

“Exotic male dancers,” Ken corrected.

Kate rolled her eyes. “Back to hot cop. Are you dating?”

Arilyn waved off the question. “No. He’s my client. Kind of. And he’s completely not my type. We fight, and you know I never fight with people.”

“Fighting is a source of releasing sexual tension,” Kennedy pointed out. “This could be a good thing. Did you ever fight with Yoga Man?”

“No, never.” Arilyn thought over their relationship. Had she ever even argued with him? When she got upset, they sat down and discussed. Made compromises. There was never yelling or anger, even when inside she seethed. Instead of letting the emotion back up and fester, she used her meditation and yoga practices to come to terms and release.

With Stone, she wasn’t afraid of snapping back at him. In a way, it was sort of fun. Nothing was left behind to work out, because she always told him exactly what she thought and felt, with no worries about how he’d handle it.

Interesting.

Gen nodded. “Kennedy’s right. The two of you exploded together. Why don’t you just date him?”

“No, we’re too different. It would never work.”

“Then just sleep with him.” Everyone stared at Kennedy. She lifted her hands up in the air. “What? Why does everything always have to be heavy and relationship centered? Affairs work. Get him out of your system. He’s your transitional anyway.”

Arilyn sighed and took out the casserole. Grabbing some plates, she began slicing pieces for each of them. “Maybe.”

Kate laughed. “Wow, he really did get to you. Normally you’d tell us to mind our own business and you’d never involve yourself with just sex.”

“She’s opening up to new opportunities,” Kennedy said. “Which is a perfect introduction to the real reason we’re here.”

Arilyn gave out the plates and forks, then dug in for a bite. “Now I’m nervous.”

“Don’t be. We just brought you an outfit to wear on Friday night.”

Suspicion laced her voice. “I already have an outfit.”

Kennedy shuddered. “I know. It’s unacceptable. Boring. You’re gorgeous and need to play up your assets. No yoga pants allowed.”

“I’m not wearing leather or fur, and you can’t make me.”

“Fake leather,” Kennedy pointed out. “And you need to show some leg. You never wear skirts.”

Gen giggled. “She’s right, A. If there’s going to be exotic dancers, you need to expose some skin. You’re gonna love what Ken picked out.”

Arilyn groaned. “I am so not ready for this.”

Kate sighed. “Neither am I.”

Kennedy smiled. “This bachelorette party is gonna be epic.”

They all shared a glance. “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of,” Arilyn said.

Then they all burst into laughter.

ten

HANDS REACHING HIGH, palms together, and sweep down to the ground. Touch the floor. Deep breath in and right foot back. Lift the heel if you can. Inhale and release left. Hold. Fully exhale aaaand push back to plank pose. Hold for a breath. Lower down, chin touches mat, push back to Downward Dog. Hold. Breathe. Lower back down aaaand right foot all the way to your palms. Walk it forward if you have to. Inhale and left foot steps in. Rise back up, full breath in and out. Beautiful. Let’s do it again.”

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

She was hot as sin and the spawn of the devil. An enchantress of death. Because if he had to do this fucking Salutation to the Moon or whatever the hell it was one more time, he was gonna die of a heart attack.

Dying of smoking was so much more pleasant.

He shot a sidelong glare at his prison mates. Luther embraced the punishment, pushing through the routine with a tiny smile on his face. Seemed he was reading up on yoga and meditation practices and was consistently adding educational side notes to Arilyn’s lecture. She seemed to love it, too.

Eli was more manlike, but he liked to mess up to get her hands on him. At least, Arilyn didn’t seem interested. Her touch was strictly impersonal, and her chats with him after class were brief. He knew, because he waited for her after class. Insisted on walking her to the car, citing her past broken windshield as the reason. Just in case she had a stalker who liked to vandalize. Maybe a previous anger management client.

She laughed it off, but Stone knew she liked their chats/fights. In those few moments together, they covered a lot of territory.

They didn’t agree on much. Politics, hobbies, likes, and dislikes were a mess. She disliked TV and he lived for it. She read self-help, and he preferred horror novels. He hated dogs, and she helped them. He had a sweet tooth, and she preferred fruit for her fix. He was unorganized and loud. She was ruthlessly neat and soft-spoken.

A real mess.

He still wanted her in his bed, though. But if she kept up the physical torture, he might not make it.

Stone did another round, and she blessedly called to sit back on their mats. Trying not to huff and puff, he took in her glowing face, bright eyes, and blinding aura. At least, he thought it was an aura. He’d been daydreaming when she discussed anger as blurring a person’s aura and fogging their vision, but it was as if a glow followed her, confirming her goodness. In her yoga pants, bare feet, and tiny tank, her muscles and lithe limbs made his mouth water. She was comfortable in her skin, which tempted him as a lover. How rare to meet a woman who seemingly had no body issues. Who wore no makeup, who used no trappings to hide. It was like she’d come to terms with what she had, her limitations and strengths, and accepted them with an open heart.

Ah, crap, now he was starting to think like her. He needed to get a grip.

“Grab some water and let’s come into a circle.”

He hated circle time. Trying not to mope, he took a long swig of water and sat on the godforsaken mat. Why, oh why did she hate real seating? What was this thing about being on the floor all the time? He’d learn better in a chair.

She shot him a mischievous grin when he carefully stretched out his legs and tried not to wince. “You okay, Stone?”

He shot her a warning glare. “Just peachy.”

Minx. If she gave him the chance, he’d tire her in other ways.

“I’d like to do some sharing before we break for the day.”

Oh, goody. His favorite. Sharing.

Eli and Luther sat cross-legged, ready to open themselves up and bleed in the name of healing. Stone tried not to gag.

“Have you been writing in the journals I gave out?” she asked. Back ramrod straight, ankles crossed on opposite knees, thumbs and index fingers touching in circles, she radiated everything beautiful about yoga and peace and harmony. But all he could think of was her beaded nipples against her tank, the heat between her thighs, and the way her hair wrapped around her body in a sensual cloak. He grunted and shifted his position, trying to get his erection down.

Luther nodded. “I write in the morning, as you suggested. I read this book once called The Artist’s Way, and one of the tasks was to keep morning pages. By dumping out all our random thoughts and fears for the day, we’re able to get out of our own way.”

She beamed. “That’s right, Luther. I’m so happy you’re finding the book helpful. There’s so much junk in our day-to-day routine, we block ourselves from connecting with our true center. When the mind is quiet, and we are sitting in our body, it’s like being in church. Or that childhood place you loved so much. It’s everything holy and good. Another reason I call the body a temple. Unfortunately, TV, phones, and computers slam us with so much information, we’re overloaded. This is a way to clean ourselves out. Make sense?”

It did. Not that he was writing in a stupid journal. He had already gotten in trouble for the cartoon he’d sketched out. She’d gotten so mad he’d waited for her to throw him out. But she made a lot of sense. Even after the dreaded yoga routines, he felt more connected to himself and his aches and pains than before. Stone knew he used drinking, smoking, and harsh exercise to try to wipe out the junk. Hadn’t worked half as well as this stuff.

Not that he was an advocate or anything. Still, he’d signed up for that Pilates class even though he was going to take a lot of crap from his coworkers.

“Eli? What do you think?”

The man shrugged. “It was okay. I get a lot of nightmares, so I started writing those down.”

“Can you share one of them with us?”

Another shrug. “I’m trapped on a bridge with all this traffic, and the thing collapses. You know, just like in that Final Destination movie? I’m trying to get out of the car and run, but everyone’s beeping and screaming, and then I wake up.”

She wrinkled her nose. The freckles scattered across her nose were so damn cute, he wanted to kiss them. “That nightmare is directly related to your road rage issues. Did something happen to you before on the road? Something you may have forgotten?”

Eli frowned. “Don’t think so. I mean, I was caught up in a bad traffic jam when one of my friends got in a motorcycle accident. Tried to get to the hospital but didn’t make it in time. That pissed me off. Made me feel guilty.”

Stone felt a twinge of sympathy. That sucked.

Arilyn widened her sea-green eyes. “I’m so sorry. Did you ever think that’s your primary reason for slipping into anger on the road? You could be dredging up the nightmare of not making it to see your friend in time. That’s a very difficult situation to process. Sometimes our emotions and bodies do it for us because the mind can’t accept it yet.”

Recognition flickered over his face, and his jaw tightened. Raw emotion glimmered in his eyes. Ah, hell. Stone had a crazy urge to pat the guy on the shoulder and tell him it was gonna be okay.

“I never put it together,” he said slowly. His hands pushed through his hair. “It makes sense now.”

Arilyn spoke in a soothing voice. “I’d like to meet you after class, Eli. Talk a bit more. This is a big breakthrough for you.”

Stone suddenly didn’t feel sympathetic anymore.

Luther reached over and pounded Eli on the arm. “Really sorry, buddy.”

Eli nodded and ducked his head.

Suddenly, Arilyn’s gaze swung to him. Challenging. As if she’d thrown down the gauntlet and dared him to be more than he pretended. What did she want from him? He was as honest and open as anyone he knew. He certainly wasn’t trying to hide anything.

The scene of the accident flashed before him. He pushed it right back out of his head.

“Stone? How about you? Have you used the journal yet for more than comics?”

He thought of the simple black composition notebook with his name printed neatly on the cover. Just like in school. All those blank lined pages ready for him to spill his thoughts onto.

He decided to keep to the truth. “Not yet.”

“Nothing to share? Or not ready to open yourself up?”

He met her gaze head on and pushed right back. “No time.”

“Understood. Have you had any realizations or thoughts regarding your anger issues this week? Anything we explored that interested you?”

Like what? Sitting with dogs? Breathing on the floor? Writing in a journal? Circle time?

The emotions deep inside stirred, then slowly settled. “Not really,” he finally said.

He refused to deal with the flash of disappointment in her eyes. Who cares? This was a game of chess to get her into bed, not to leave pieces of himself behind.

“Very well. I’m going to ask each of you a question. I want you to respond from the gut. Don’t think about it too hard or try to reach for the right answer. Just tell me the first thing that comes to mind.”

Stone began to sweat. He wouldn’t let her beat him.

“Eli. Give me a memory, any memory, that made you angry.”

“What I just told you. Sitting in traffic, waiting to see my best friend. Hoping he wasn’t going to die while I was stuck there with a bunch of assholes going to work or lunch or having fun.”

“Excellent.” She turned. “Luther. Again, give me one quick memory of when you were angry.”

Luther didn’t hesitate. “When I found out my dad was having an affair with some other woman. I went to the college to visit him, and he was in his office kissing someone else. I wanted to kill him.”

“Very good. Stone? Same question. Give me your memory.”

He paused.

Her voice caught him like a silken whip. “Now. Don’t think. Just talk.”

He opened his mouth and damned if something didn’t come out. “When I walked into the bedroom and found my wife screwing my partner.”

Eli whistled. “Bru-tal, man. Sorry.”

Luther shook his head. “That may be worse than my dad.”

Arilyn stared. Shock carved out the features of her face. “You were married?” she whispered.

He narrowed his eyes. “Yeah. I was married. Now I’m divorced.”

Silence descended. Luther and Eli shared a glance and then looked uneasily at their teacher. Clearing her throat, she seemed to try to shake off some type of mental fog. “W-Well. That’s excellent, Officer. Thanks for sharing.”

Hmm. Back to “Officer” now, huh?

She rolled to her feet and forced a smile. “That’s it for today, gentlemen. Eli, may I speak with you for a few minutes?”

“Sure.”

Stone rolled up his mat, stacked it neatly in the corner, and checked his cell phone messages. He grabbed her elbow as she walked past him. “Arilyn?”

“Yes?”

Oh, yeah, she was mad about something. He felt like he’d stepped into Antarctica. “I’ll wait for you outside?”

She shook him off as if he were an annoying bug. “No need. I’ll be a while with Eli.”

“I can wait.”

“Not necessary. Have a good day.”

She turned her back, smiled at Eli, and began chatting.

Stone cursed under his breath and stormed outside. Well, screw that. Screw her. He had finally given her what she wanted with her damn sharing, and now she was pissed at him? He couldn’t help the divorce. Yes, he had baggage. Must be nice to have a perfect life. Must be nice to be Arilyn Meadows.

He ignored the strange bite of pain that hit his gut and swore not to think about her again. He was finally back at work and had a few hours to kill before his shift. He was done mooning over a woman who was all wrong for him. Fuming, he got in his car and drove.

He didn’t realize until he looked up that he was at the shelter. Getting out of the car, he checked to make sure there were no strays running around. His nerves jangled, but he ignored the slight panic, making himself trudge into the main center. He scrawled his name on the volunteer list and headed toward the back. Trying not to wince at the noise, he strode past the barking dogs, nodding to another volunteer, and went inside Pinky’s cage.

The dog sat almost in the same spot as the other day. A twinkle of interest lit her eyes, and her head cranked around a bit. Then she went back to gazing into space.

“You’re a hard case,” he commented, stretching out his legs and leaning against the gate. “I don’t mind. I need some peace and quiet right now. I’m about done vomiting my feelings for everyone to judge. I mean, do you really want to talk about what happened to you? No. You dealt with it, and now you need to move on.”

No response.

He sighed. “Listen, you gotta eat. If your body collapses, those assholes win. You survived for a reason, girl. Arilyn got you out, and if you die on her, she’ll be heartbroken. I may be pissed at your rescuer, but I can’t let you fall apart on my watch.”

A tiny head movement.

“How’s your food? You need to eat to get stronger. Looks like crap to me, but what do I know? Tomorrow I’ll sneak you a hamburger. They’ll never know. Bet that’s a bunch of organic beans and rice. No wonder you don’t eat it.”

No response.

Stone didn’t mind. His temper calmed, and he kept talking.

THE NEXT DAY, ARILYN kept things strictly business. She escorted her crew to the local soup kitchen so the men could serve food to the homeless and be reminded of gratitude. Arilyn learned that being happy with the simple things of your lot helped to manage anger. When she struggled with her mother’s death and was ripped apart by rage, Poppy took her to the veterans hospital and showed her all the men and women who’d had their world ripped from them, too. Seeing the physical and emotional injuries and how they fought to not only survive but to live gave her some peace. It also gave her the strength she needed to begin sorting through her rage.

Screw you, Stone Petty. I won’t tell my secrets either.

She couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday. His confession stunned her. The proof she knew nothing about him and he’d never voluntarily share anything of himself confirmed how wrong he was for her. Of course, she hadn’t dumped her own truth about what had happened with her ex. But a divorce? Couldn’t he have given her a hint before, even in the counseling session? She was greedy to know all the details. How badly had he been hurt to find his wife cheating on him? They shared such an intimate, raw experience in two different worlds. Instead of feeling closer to him, he seemed miles away. His confession came out snide and cold, making her feel intrusive. She’d only wanted to help, but he was determined to keep his past and his emotions private. Refused to share.

They’d only shared a kiss. Well, two. Yes, they may have been earth-shattering to her, but it was another reminder that physical contact with Stone meant nothing. He’d never open himself up to more. Arilyn refused to acknowledge the sadness that accompanied the fact. She’d already known they wouldn’t work. The fact that she was suddenly despondent over the truth annoyed her.

Stop thinking about him.

Her gaze swiveled in rebellion. He surprised her again. Seems the staff at the Verily Soup Station knew him well. After some manly thumps on the shoulder, high fives, and general caveman talk, Stone took up an apron without any instruction from her and got to it. Watching him engage with the crowds that lined up squeezed her heart in a very bad way.

He seemed like one of them. With his usual cap perched sideways like some gangster, his worn T-shirt stretched over his wide shoulders, and faded jeans clinging to his tight rear, he was completely mouthwatering. She noticed he towered over the other guys, his fingers gripping the large spoon with a masculine grace she usually didn’t spot in such musclebound men. Legs braced apart, an easy grin on his face, he greeted them by name, talked sports, and never broke his stride. Luther and Eli kept looking at him with a faint twinge of admiration she’d never spotted before. The black sheep was getting some recognition. Too bad she wasn’t happy.

Too bad she was so pissed off.

Arilyn kept her distance and concentrated on helping Luther and Eli, making sure there was plenty of space between them at the table. The three hours whizzed by, and she made sure to stay busy as she wrapped up the session, thanked the director of the kitchen, and transitioned out.

“Do I smell?”

Arilyn jerked around at the deep growl of voice from behind. His brows snapped in a ferocious frown. Arms crossed, hip cocked, he studied her with a mocking judgment that made her temper soar in familiar tempo. “Excuse me?”

He didn’t seem to care that they were on a public street. Pedestrians hurried back and forth, heads ducked from the late fall wind. Cars rushed by, and low chattering filled the air with the steady stream of customers entering the soup kitchen. She took a few steps toward the edge of the building for breathing room. He ignored her request, stepping forward and blocking both the wind and her view with his big body. She shivered under his drilling gaze. “I asked if I smell bad. Because you’ve been avoiding me like the plague since Tuesday, and it’s starting to piss me off.”

She pressed her lips tightly together. “Maybe you’re being paranoid. You’re not my only client, Officer. I can’t dedicate all my time to you. I’m sorry if you thought differently.”

Arilyn tried to push past, but he refused to budge. “I’m not your damn client. And every time you use that snotty tone of voice to call me ‘Officer,’ I want to kiss you again until you shut up and apologize.”

He was crude, and rude, and impossible. Why had she ever thought for a moment something could work with them? Or had she? Maybe her body had just responded and her brain had melted like a Popsicle. So embarrassing.

She clenched her fists and shimmered with outrage. “Don’t talk to me like that,” she snapped. “I will not have you bullying me on the street. We’ll talk in class or not at all, and you’ll just have to respect that. Now move.”

She didn’t wait for his answer. This time she ducked and fled down the street, hurrying into her car. There. Take that. This was better, anyway. They’d be a disaster, and maybe his holding back was a sign for her to stop the crazy train ride before it was too late.

A few blocks in, she noticed the big muscle car bullying her on the road, keeping tight to her bumper. She seethed, maneuvering through the town until she got to her bungalow. Parking quickly, she climbed out and stomped over. He did the same, slamming the door and facing her down.

“How dare you follow me! I should’ve stopped short and forced you to rear-end me. Don’t cops know how to drive, or are you too big and bad to follow your own rules?”

He made a noise deep in his throat and sneered, “If I had followed my rules, I would’ve had your pretty ass locked up last week in my jail. To say I’m regretting it is the fucking understatement of the year.”

“Watch your language,” she hissed. “My neighbor likes to spy. I suggest you take your car and your attitude and leave.” Turning her back, she marched up the stairs, unlocked the door, and stepped inside.

He was right behind her.

“Hey! I didn’t invite you in!”

“Too bad,” he said. He shut the door behind him. “I don’t feel like yelling at you in the damn street.”

“What’s your problem? Are you frustrated because I didn’t fall all over myself trying to catch you over one lousy kiss? Get over it. I’m your teacher, and that’s all I’m ever going to be.”

He gritted his teeth and hissed, “I’m telling myself to breathe right now, woman. If I don’t, I’m gonna lose my shit. And guess what? It’s not working, just like I tried to tell you.”

“Stop cursing!”

“Stop being a damn hypocrite!”

Arilyn panted for breath and tried to scramble for calm. Dear God, she was supposed to set a good example, but this man drove her to the insane asylum within minutes. “A hypocrite? Oh, this will be interesting. How do you possibly imagine I’m a hypocrite?”

He moved closer. The air between them sizzled and crackled. Her breasts lifted as she tried to draw in air, and his gaze roved over her body, trying to eat her alive. The anger combusted and turned into something dangerous and dark, but Arilyn fought with all her strength not to surrender. His husky growl dragged over her skin like velvet and thorns. “Oh, you are one. Begging us to tell you our secrets, and the moment we do, you judge. You disappoint me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The divorce,” he ground out. “You heard I was divorced and judged me. Hell, I didn’t even get a trial, just a conviction.” He leaned in, his minty breath striking her mouth. “Sorry I don’t have a clean, pure past like you do. I made a crapload of mistakes, rolled around in the muck, and moved on. Sorry if I’m not good enough, but you don’t have to ignore me and treat me like I’m the Elephant Man. I get it. I won’t bother you again.”

Each word struck a deliberate blow. Her lungs collapsed, and before he turned, she reached out and grabbed his arm. “It wasn’t like that,” she said. “I wasn’t judging you.”

“Yeah. Sure. I saw the look on your face. Must be nice not to have made mistakes.”

Arilyn shook, fighting to understand the strong connection between them. Fighting the whole mess that threatened to overwhelm her. Still, he couldn’t go without knowing the truth. Her fingers tightened around his arm, refusing to let him walk away. Her voice tore out in ragged fragments. “It wasn’t your divorce. I don’t care about that, I never did. It’s—”

“What?” He leaned back in. His demand vibrated against her skin, almost tangible with its command. “Tell me.”

“You never told me.” She half closed her eyes, not wanting him to see the depth of her emotions, then forced herself to face it for both of them. “I was hurt. I felt . . . stupid. It was a huge part of your life, and you didn’t say anything in counseling. It wasn’t in your file. I had no idea, and when you threw it out in class, like it was no big deal, I got hurt.” Her cheeks flushed. “I’m sorry, I’m an idiot. But don’t think I was judging you. I was judging me, and my reaction to it.” Arilyn forced a laugh. God, this was a humiliation he’d never let her live down. One lousy kiss and she wanted a heart-to-heart. “Can we just forget this whole thing? I’m sorry. We can go back to class and maybe, in a strange way, be friends. Or maybe not. I don’t know anymore,” she muttered. Stop, Arilyn, just stop. It was getting so much worse, and then he closed his eyes as if her confession made things awkward. Desperate for distance, she let go of his arm and took a step back.

He reached out and yanked her close.

Her breath stopped. Those inky eyes snapped open and suddenly she was gazing into a pit of seething, raw desire. Very deliberately, he slid the pins holding her tight topknot in place out of her hair one by one. She stared, helpless, until the long strands hung down to her waist, masking her face. Never breaking his slow motions, he twisted his fingers into her hair and tugged her head back.

“I don’t want to be your friend,” he growled.

Arilyn stiffened. Every inch of her body tingled. “Fine, we’re not friends. You’ve never been civil anyway.”

“You’re right. I’m not civil or even civilized when I get near you. Wanna know what I really want to do?”

“No.”

“Tough shit. Gonna tell you anyway.” A low moan escaped her lips, because she was burning up for him and hated every minute of it. “I want to strip these organic clothes from your body, lay you out on the bed, and explore every inch. Bite, suck, lick. I want to push inside that wet heat I know is waiting for me and make you come so hard you won’t be able to speak for at least five full minutes. I want to do bad things to you, Arilyn. Dirty things. Things that would shock you to the core and cause you to run screaming out the door if you’re a nice girl. Are you a nice girl?”

Her skin was on fire. Her ears roared and her thighs clenched in a desperate attempt to stop the rush of warm liquid trickling between them. This type of arousal was insane. Wrong on so many levels. Stone Petty was the type of man who would take his pleasure, be rough, and demand she leave nothing behind. There would be no sweetness or tender words. There would be no gentle care when he finally took her, or slow smiles, or easy climbs to a pleasurable orgasm.

If she surrendered, he’d wreck her completely. He was dangerous.

She was a good girl.

She craved a healthy, satisfying relationship. A deep, abiding friendship with a man on the same spiritual quest. She was searching for always. Forever. He’d give nothing but physical satisfaction and wouldn’t look twice when he walked back out the door in the morning.

She was a good girl.

His grip never gentled, but his voice softened. Stone leaned over, his mouth inches from hers. Their breath mingled. She watched, hypnotized, while he ran the tip of his tongue over her bottom lip, bestowing little nips until she began to sag in his arms and moved an inch forward for more.

“You’re not sure, are you, little one?” he murmured, pressing that lush, soft mouth to hers in tiny kisses that did nothing but inflame. “You’re caught between what you know you should want and what your deepest fantasies torment you to ask for. I warned you that you owed me a favor. I can’t be the one to take constantly. You need to walk into this with your eyes wide-open, because I’m a son of a bitch and I know it. Here’s my price for saving you and the dog: when you’re ready to take the leap with me, you have to ask.”