Текст книги "Be with Me"

Автор книги: Jennifer L. Armentrout

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Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 24 страниц)

Eighteen

Late morning on the first day of fall break, I stood in front of Lightning, gripping my crutches until my knuckles ached. “No.”

“You promised,” Jase reminded me gently, as if he was speaking to Jack.

“I don’t care.”

“That’s wrong.”

I glared at Jase, and he grinned. “I can’t get up there with my knee.”

“I’ll make sure you get up there just fine.”

My lower lip jutted out in a way that would’ve made Jack proud, who was currently quarantined to his bedroom and had thrown a Godzilla-sized fit when Jase said he couldn’t come out with us. Jase’s mom was in the shower when we showed up and his dad was somewhere on the farm. I wasn’t sure if he was going to make good on his promise to introduce me as his girlfriend today, but I was nervous for some reason. Maybe it was because that was such a huge step.

But I still felt bad for the little dude. “Can we see Jack before we leave?” I asked.

Jase blinked once and then twice. “Yeah.”

“I feel bad for him,” I explained, shifting my weight on the crutches. “He really wanted to come outside.”

A soft look crept into his eyes. “We can most definitely see him before we leave. He’d like that.” He leaned in, brushing his nose across mine. “I’d like that.”

I smiled.

“But changing the subject isn’t going to distract me. You’re getting up on this horse. End of discussion.”

“I wasn’t trying to change the subject.” Even I recognized the whine in my voice as I looked at Lightning. The horse sniffed and turned his head in the other direction, obviously done with me.

“Stand still.” He pried the crutches from my hands and propped them against the split-rail fence. Giving Lightning one more pat on the nose, Jase picked up the reins as he walked around to the other side. In the bright sunlight, strands of red and gold shone in his hair.

He leaped up on the horse with the grace of someone who’d grown up doing just that. Once on top of the beast, he appeared bigger and larger than life.

And strangely hot sitting astride a horse.

“Lift your arms,” he said.

That was the last thing I wanted to do, but I gathered up my courage and lifted my arms. The muscles in his thighs tensed against the horse as he leaned over, fitting his hands to my ribs. Our eyes met, he winked, and then he lifted me right off my feet and up in the air. I didn’t have time to panic because it seemed like in a heartbeat I was sitting sideways on the horse.

“Bring your left leg over,” he said, his hands slipping to my hips and holding tight. “I’m not going to let you fall.”

Gripping his arms, I twisted, keeping my injured leg stationary as I brought my left leg over the wide back of the horse. I bit down on my lip and my heart tripped up as Lightning moved sideways, but Jase didn’t let me fall. I slipped back in the saddle, resting between Jase’s legs.

“Good girl,” he said, his breath warm against the back of my neck, causing me to shiver. “See? That wasn’t too bad.”

My mouth was dry. “I guess not.”

His answering chuckle rumbled through me. He secured his arms around my waist, holding the reins in one hand. “You ready?”

I shook my head and added, “No,” just in case he was confused.

Jase laughed again. “You’re going to enjoy it. I promise.” Dipping his head, he pressed a kiss to the back of my neck, sending a race of tingles up and down my back. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

With the slight movement of his heels, Lightning moved into a slow canter, following the worn-down track that circled the split rail. It took a bit to get used to the bouncing. Jase kept me tucked close as he told me about the first time he’d ridden a horse. He’d been six and had slipped right off the animal, breaking his arm.

“Did you get right back on?” I asked as we made another pass. “Or were you scared.”

“I was scared.” His thumb moved in a slow circle across my belly. “But Dad knew I needed to get back up on there. And I did. I didn’t fall again.”

An image of a young Jase filled my head. I bet he looked a lot like Jack and was just as adorable, but probably more of a handful. It took a good twenty minutes before I relaxed enough that I released my death grip on Jase’s arm. When I eased off, my fingernails had left little indentations in his skin.

“Sorry,” I said hoarsely, staring at the trees.

“It’s okay. It’s only skin.” He kissed the back of my neck again, a quick movement that was most likely undetectable, but then he pressed his lips to the space below my ear.

Our conversation from last night moved to the forefront. A lump formed in my throat. His words still got me all choked up. He wanted to take things slowly. He wanted me to be different from all the other girls—which sounded like an extremely long list, but I would not think of them. He wanted our relationship to start off not being about sex.

Jase nipped at my ear.

A bolt of liquid pleasure zinged through my blood, immediately sparking an ache deep inside my body that throbbed whenever he was around.

The muscles in my back tensed and then relaxed. I felt him then, pressing against my lower back. A smug sort of smile formed at the knowledge he was just as affected as I was. Tipping my head back against his chest, I closed my eyes and smiled as the wind glided over my cheeks. My grip loosened once more, and under my legs, Lightning’s powerful muscles bunched as he picked up speed.

A trickle of fear inked down my spine as we went faster, but another emotion rose, overshadowing the tendrils of panic. Muscles in my core tensed. Not of anxiety but in anticipation, like those precious moments I’d lost, the ones that came seconds after I stepped onstage.

“I can feel it,” I whispered. I was awed because I could feel it.

His rough chin grazed my cheek as his arm tightened. “Would it make me a bastard to say I told you so?”

Opening my eyes, I laughed as I straightened in the saddle, gaining confidence that I wouldn’t fall and break my neck. Glancing over my shoulder, I met his smile with my own. The crushing disappointment of my recent reinjury eased a little. “Can we go faster?”

We went faster.

Back on the ground, with crutches under my arms, I admitted that horseback riding was pretty damn cool. I didn’t see myself riding one alone in the near future, but Jase had been right. Riding was like dancing in a way. It wouldn’t completely replace the gap in my life, but it was a start.

And it wasn’t the only thing I had.

I smiled as Jase strolled past me, leading Lightning back to the stable. My heart did a cabriole—a complicated, big jump I’d never be able to do again in reality, but my heart was doing it.

When Jase returned, his father was prowling behind him. Seeing them together again was disconcerting. Same height. Same dark hair. Their long-legged pace was even identical. Mr. Winstead grinned as they stopped in front of me. “Never seen a prettier gal on crutches before.”

Warmth cascaded over my cheeks. “Thank you.”

“Good to see ya back, but not in those things.” He pulled out a red rag, wiping his hands. “Ain’t too serious?”

I shook my head, thinking getting into the story was probably not something anyone wanted to hear.

“She was just riding Lightning,” Jase said, grinning. “Did damn good for her first time.”

His father’s brows rose. “Ya got up on the horse in yer condition?”

“That she did,” Jase replied, and pleasure hummed through me at the sight of his proud smile. Mom and Dad used to smile like that after my recitals and competitions.

Mr. Winstead cocked his head to the side. “Well, darn, if I was about twenty years younger and there wasn’t your mom . . .”

Jase’s head whipped toward his father. “Come on, Dad, that’s my girlfriend you’re trying to hit on.”

Yep. There was my heart again, doing an escaping step, and damn if I didn’t feel as weightless as a dancer looked when she executed the jump perfectly.

“Girlfriend?” Surprise filled his father’s voice as he looked between us.

Jase grinned shamelessly, and both my knees felt weak. “Girlfriend.”

“Well . . .” He drew in a breath and shook his head, as if he didn’t know what to say. If I doubted what Jase had said about the other girls last night, I didn’t anymore. It was obvious he didn’t bring girls home, and the fact he’d brought me home was a big deal.

“That’s good to hear,” he finally finished, and then smiled, causing those stunningly familiar eyes to light to a beautiful silver. He looked at his son and nodded in a way I felt meant more than I could understand. “That’s really great.”

Jase said nothing, but shifted his gaze back to me.

“Why don’t you two kids come inside for a few minutes?” his father said, stuffing the hankie back into his pocket. “Yer momma just made fresh tea.”

His eyes lit up, and I giggled.

“We’ll be up in a second.” Jase turned to me as his dad ambled off. “You okay with how I broke the news? Guess I could’ve done it better, but really, how do you announce you have a girlfriend without sounding lame.”

“No. It was fine.” I paused as he sauntered up to me. “So I’m the first girl you’ve brought home?”

He tucked a loose strand of hair back. “Since high school.”

That was forever ago it seemed, and I bet it was Jack’s mom. One of these days I was going to get him to talk about her. “That’s . . . wow. I’m . . .”

“Honored?”

I snorted. So ladylike. “That sounds a bit extreme.”

Jase laughed as he sidled up to my side. “Well, a guy only takes a girl home to his parents that he’s really serious or cares about.”

It was late when we returned to my dorm, and when Jase pulled around, I could see that the light was on in my dorm room. Deb must be back.

Jase followed my gaze. “We still on for dinner tomorrow?”

I glanced back at him. “I thought we were having lunch at Betty’s?”

He grinned. “Doesn’t mean we can’t have dinner.”

“True,” I laughed, but the sound died off as he pulled up to the sidewalk. I was reluctant to leave him. Today . . . today had been a great day. Jeep idling, he reached for the door handle. “You don’t have to walk me up.”

“But—”

I silenced him with a kiss. If he came up, I wouldn’t want him to leave, and I needed to talk to Deb. “You don’t have to do it. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

He took his hand off the door. “Text me before you go to bed.”

My lips split into a wide grin. “Okay.”

Before I could pull away, he wrapped his hand around the nape of my neck and kissed me. At once, my mouth opened to his. He tasted me in a way that made it even harder to leave. “Night, Tess.”

I closed my eyes as I pulled back. “Night.”

Jase waited until I was inside before pulling away and I hopped along on my crutches, taking the elevator. Like I suspected, Deb was in the dorm.

She was sitting on the bed, cross-legged, hair pulled back and wearing an oversized hoodie. When she looked up, she smacked her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God.”

I stilled in the door, confused. “What?”

“Crutches!” She unfurled her legs but didn’t make it far. “I knew you would be on crutches, but I just . . . I don’t know.” She pressed her hand to her chest. “I’m so sorry.”

Placing the crutches against the wall, I carefully walked to my bed and sat down. I didn’t know how to start this conversation, but I knew I was going to tell her about my past. It just wasn’t easy to say, by the way, I dated a fucking loser who beat me. “Debbie—”

“I broke up with Erik.”

I blinked, thinking I hadn’t heard her right. And then hope sprang within me. “What?”

She got up and sat beside me. “I broke up with Erik earlier today.”

“That’s . . .” What did I say? Great? Fantastic? That seemed inappropriate because I think Deb really cared about him.

“It needed to be done. It had to be because . . .” She ducked her chin, hiding her gaze. “Because you were right on Sunday. Erik . . . he can be a really good guy, but . . .”

“But he hits you,” I said quietly, and for some damn reason, my chest began to squeeze.

She nodded slowly. “He didn’t hit me often. You know, it wasn’t all the time. Sometimes he would just grab me or yell at me. He always—always—seemed to regret it afterward. Or at least his apologies seemed believable, and I always forgave him.” She paused, drawing in a deep breath. “No one has ever said anything. Not until you did. I think it was partly because he’s been—uh, losing his cool a lot more lately, but everyone just looked away.”

“It’s hard to say something,” I said, tucking my left leg against my chest. “I didn’t want to make you mad.” Or embarrass her because that was the main emotion I had felt when my family discovered what I’d been hiding.

“I wasn’t mad. I was ashamed,” she said, confirming my thoughts. “Because why would I stay with him when it’s so obvious he doesn’t treat me right?”

“Because sometimes he treats you like a queen?” I fiddled with the frayed hem of my jeans. “And you hang on to those moments because you know he’s capable of being a good guy.”

I could feel her eyes on me. “You’ve been . . . ?”

Without saying anything, I nodded.

She let out a low breath. “And you broke up with him?”

“Not really.” I barked out a short laugh. “My mom and Cam saw the bruises and I finally told them the truth. I wanted to leave him before then, but I was scared and . . .”

“And you loved him?” she asked in a quiet voice that was laced with pain.

Tugging the little white strings on my jeans, I swallowed hard. “He was my first—first of everything. I thought I was in love with him. Looking back now, I know it was more about being afraid of being—”

“Alone?” she said, and I nodded. “We’re pretty stupid, huh? Being afraid of being single outweighs the fear of being hit.”

“You’re not stupid anymore,” I pointed out. “You broke up with him.”

“I did.” Her eyes filled with tears, and she blinked tightly.

The squeezing pressure moved up my throat. I was happy for her—thrilled to be exact, but I knew this had to be hard for her. The first night things were over between Jeremy and me had been the hardest. Because like with Erik, Jeremy had this almost magical ability of making me forget the bad moments. He excelled at that, so much so that it was also one of the reasons why I hadn’t left him. Now that I was older, I realized that was a hallmark of an abuser. They could be as charming as sin when required, and that made them as dangerous as a rattlesnake.

“How did Erik take it?” I asked.

A wobbly smile appeared. “Not very good.”

My stomach tumbled a little. “He didn’t—”

“No! He didn’t. It was the opposite.” She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hands. I put a hand on her arm and squeezed. “He apologized and cried and begged . . .” She shook her head. “He got angry at the end, but I left before it could go any further.”

“Good.”

She looked up, meeting my eyes. “I’m sorry that I didn’t listen to you on Sunday and for what happened when I came back with Erik. I do think it was an accident, but it shouldn’t have happened because when he gets angry, he doesn’t think.”

“Is that what made you break up with him?”

“Yes. And no.” She cleared her throat. “When Jase confronted him Wednesday morning and I found out that your knee was completely blown—”

“Jase confronted him?” I cut in, feeling my eyes widen as I stared at her.

She nodded. “He showed up right before we were leaving for classes. I didn’t know he’d hurt you that badly.”

I waved that off, feeling my pulse pick up. “What did Jase say to him?”

“Not much really. Jase told him that if you ever ended up hurt again, that he’d pretty much put him in a grave. Erik was in a mood.” Reaching up, she tugged her ponytail down. “He mouthed off and called you . . . called you a nosy bitch who needed to stay away from me.”

I didn’t give two shits what Erik said about me, but my stomach fell out of my butt.

“Jase didn’t take to that well,” she continued. “Neither did Erik’s face when it was all said and done.”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I fought for breath as I flashed hot and cold. Images of Jase’s knuckles rushed through my head. He’d gone after Erik. Just like Cam had gone after Jeremy. In a way, history had totally repeated itself. Anger and disappointment and something else I didn’t want to acknowledge crashed together inside me.

“You okay?” Deb asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Things are going to be so much better now for you.” My voice was hoarse as I focused on what was important right now, which was Debbie, and not what Jase had done. “I really do mean that.”

“I know.” She hugged me tightly, and when she pulled away, the tears had dried. “My life starts over now, and I only have good things to look forward to.”

Nineteen

Debbie and I had stayed up late talking. At first it had been hard to hear about how Jase had confronted Jeremy the morning I believed he’d been with Jack. Maybe he’d done both. Not that it mattered, because it didn’t change anything. But eventually I told Debbie everything about Jeremy. I watered down Cam’s reaction, but it still felt so, so damn good to get it off my shoulders. To share what it had been like with someone who could truly understand. And Deb told me about the good times, the bad times, and the downright horrifying moments. There were moments when I could sense that Deb was having doubts and that was natural. They’d been together for years and sometimes it was hard to let someone go, even if he was a sociopath. People who hadn’t been in a situation like we’d been in just wouldn’t understand. They’d think we were stupid and weak, but the smartest and strongest girl could fall prey to a poison-tongued charmer.

And there had been tears—cleansing tears. The kind that renewed instead of hurt.

I ended up sleeping late on Friday; when I was up, Deb told me she was going to visit her parents and break the news. I wished her luck—luck that I needed.

I’d ended up canceling the lunch date, Debbie had left the dorm, and Jase was now minutes away from picking me up for dinner—for our first real honest-to-goodness date—and all I could think about as I waited outside, holding my crutches, was that he’d done nearly the same thing my brother had done.

I still hadn’t worked out how I felt about what he did, if I should be as angry as I felt or if I should be angrier? Jase knew the kind of guilt I carried around because of what Cam had done.

When Jase pulled up to the curb, he hopped out and came around the front of the Jeep. He was wearing jeans and a dark V-neck sweater that somehow made me feel underdressed in my jeans and cardigan. No matter what he wore, he looked damn good, like he was ready to step off the pages of GQ. Not like every other guy around; they all looked like they belonged in a Sears catalog.

He helped me in, taking the crutches and then holding my arm as I climbed up. Waiting for me on the dashboard was a square pink box. I picked it up and glanced at him.

“For dessert,” he said, grinning.

I didn’t want to pop the lid, but the light brown frosting looked tasty. “What flavor?”

“Guess?”

“Chocolate?”

“Boring,” he said, easing away from the curb. “It’s peanut butter icing and filling.”

“Oh.” Momentarily distracted by the awesomeness that was peanut butter and chocolate, I was tempted to crack the bad boy open and devour it.

“You’re more than welcome to eat it now. Fuck dinner rules, right? Dessert can come first.”

Another small smile appeared. I don’t know what it was about the cupcakes that seemed to affect me. Besides the fact that they tasted delicious ninety-nine percent of the time, they’d become something I looked forward to.

“Where do you get them?” I said, surprised that this was the first time I even thought to ask. “At the bakery in town?”

“Nope.”

My gaze dropped to his knuckles as I waited for a more detailed explanation. The skin wasn’t nearly as raw, but still pink and ruddy. My stomach tightened.

“My mom’s sister—her daughter Jen makes them.”

“Wow. These taste like something you’d get in a gourmet bakery. She should really start her own business.”

“That’s what we’ve been telling her.” He glanced over at me and a lopsided grin appeared. “Jen’s been asking about the girl she keeps making extraspecial cupcakes for. I told her I was going to have to bring her over one day.”

My stare started to wander to his hands, but I jerked my gaze to him. “I’d . . . I’d like that.”

“Me too.” He reached over and threaded his fingers through mine and squeezed.

There was a soft flutter in my chest that moved into my belly as I ended up studying his knuckles. His skin had split Erik’s. He’d gone after the boy for something that may or may not have been an accident. This was the perfect chance for me to bring everything up, but I wasn’t ready.

“Does Jen know about Jack?” I asked, changing the subject.

He nodded. “Family knows. No one talks about it though. It’s kind of like the worst well-kept secret.”

After that, I fell silent. My mind was occupied. The ride to Frederick didn’t take very long and the food was served quickly at Bonefish Grill. I could’ve eaten an entire meal of bang bang shrimp. Jase kept the conversation going, talking about Jack and then moving on to my brother.

“So tomorrow’s the big deal, right?” he said, spearing a scallop on my plate and stealing it. “You think he’s going to go through with it?”

I hadn’t considered that he wouldn’t. “You don’t think he’ll do it?”

“He’s really nervous.” Jase laughed as he settled back in the booth. “Hell, I’ve never seen your brother like that.”

“Me neither. I hope he does do it. They’re perfect together.”

Jase ran his finger along the rim of his glass as he watched me from beneath lowered lashes. “We need to tell Cam as soon as he gets back.”

My breath caught and I nodded. “We do.”

The waitress appeared with the check and as Jase leaned forward to pull out his wallet, he pressed a quick kiss against the corner of my lips. The silvery light in his eyes as he pulled back caused my chest to lurch.

“Debbie broke up with Erik,” I blurted out.

He paused for just a second and then pulled cash out of his wallet. “That’s good news, right? I mean, he’s always been a dick to the girl. No one could figure out why she stayed with him.”

I watched him as he laid the money near the check. My heart beat faster. “He . . . hit her.”

Jase froze again, but this time he’d been in the process of leaning back. His thick lashes lifted. “What?”

Nothing about his expression told me he was hiding something from me, but I knew he was. “He hit her. Like Jeremy had hit me.”

The line of his jaw tightened, and then he pursed his lips, letting out a low whistle as he looked away. “I don’t know what to say, Tess.”

“Maybe that you’re now double glad that you beat him up?”

His eyes locked with mine, the color a startling shade of silver. He opened his mouth and then seemed to rethink what he was about to say. His broad shoulders tensed.

“I know,” I whispered. “Deb told me last night.”

“Last night,” he repeated dumbly. “And you’re just now saying something?” He laughed as a muscle thumped in his jaw. “You know, I knew something was up with you. You’ve been too quiet. You didn’t eat the cupcake immediately. I thought maybe your knee was bothering you.”

I tucked my hair back behind my ears. “You didn’t tell me.”

He drew in a deep breath and then slid out of the booth, rising as he grabbed my crutches. “Let’s take this conversation outside.”

Since it wasn’t a dinner type of conversation, I waited until we were in the Jeep before pushing the subject. “You went after him.”

“I didn’t go after him, Tess. It wasn’t like with Cam. I know that’s what you’re getting at. That wasn’t my intention. I ran into him at the frat house when I came back from my parents’ place. He was sitting on the couch like he hadn’t a fucking care in the world.”

Holding my breath, I watched him as he leaned forward and turned the key. The engine roared to life and he didn’t speak again until he was out on the main road, cruising toward Interstate 70. “And all I could think was that he fucking ended your dreams. He took that from you and I didn’t give a fuck if it was an accident or not. He did that.”

Erik had. “Jase—”

“After everything you’ve been through, I had to say something. I had to,” he went on, his profile stark in the shadows of the car’s interior. “I told him that he needed to stay away from you and no more accidents better happen. That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say to him, and, yeah, I might not have said it that nicely, but I wanted to get my point across.”

What he was saying was the same as Deb had said, so his next words didn’t surprise me.

“But then he said some shit, Tess. Stuff that no one should ever say about you, and I made sure he didn’t say anything else.”

There wasn’t pride in his voice. Maybe the smugness of a man who knew he’d put another man—and I used the term man for Erik loosely—in his place. “You hit him.”

He glanced at me, expression hard. “I did.”

“And that’s all you have to say about that?”

Turning his gaze back to the dark road, he ran one hand through his messy hair. “I don’t regret it.”

I sucked in a sharp breath. “Neither did Cam.”

“This isn’t the same. I didn’t beat the shit out of Erik. I didn’t end up in jail or put a boy in a hospital,” he spat out, and I flinched. “Shit, Tess. That’s not what I mean—”

“You know how I feel about what Cam did and how guilty it made me feel. Cam nearly ruined his life because of my—”

“And that wasn’t your fault! What he did wasn’t your fault. What I did wasn’t your fault. Erik ran his mouth and I hit him. Okay. I hit him two times.”

Blood pounded through my veins as I struggled to make sense of what I was feeling. Most of the confusion came from the fact that there was a little, teeny tiny part of me that was glad he’d given Erik a taste of his own medicine. And I’d felt that way when I first heard what Cam had done.

And I didn’t know what that said about me.

I stared at the dark blurs of the trees lining the interstate. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I . . .” He swore again. “I knew you’d get upset. I was hoping Debbie wouldn’t say anything.”

My hands curled in my lap. “Did you really think she wouldn’t?”

“Would you want people to know your boyfriend got owned? No. I thought she wouldn’t say anything. I know that’s wrong. I’m sorry. But I would rather you hadn’t known.”

The unapologetic nature of his response made his apology hard to swallow. It wasn’t that he was being a jerk about it, just that he hadn’t regretted it. “You promised me you wouldn’t say anything.”

“I promised to not say anything to Cam, which I haven’t. And trust me. Eric isn’t going to say shit to him, because then he’d have to tell your brother why I gave him a black eye, which is all I did.” The hand with the busted knuckles curled around the steering wheel. “Shit, you didn’t enjoy yourself tonight, did you? This is supposed to be our first—I don’t know. Fuck. Our first date and this whole time you were pissed off.”

I sat in silence, rigidly still. Tonight was our first real date, except it hadn’t felt like that. Not because I didn’t want to be with him, but because of what had been lingering over my head and his.

“I should’ve told you Wednesday. I shouldn’t have tried to keep it from you. That’s where I fucked up.” There was a beat of silence. “Tess, say something.”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I slowly unclenched my hands. What could I say? It wasn’t just him who’d ruined this night—ruined what was supposed to be this monumental step in our current closet relationship. I could’ve said something the moment I saw him. Or when he’d texted me earlier in the day or when I sent him a text before I went to bed. And I didn’t. We could’ve cleared the air and then enjoyed ourselves. Hopefully.

“I don’t know what to say,” I admitted finally.

Jase didn’t respond, and that was that for the thirty minutes or so the car ride back to my dorm took. Maybe I was overreacting. He hadn’t done what Cam had done, but he still had lied, and in the end, he took things to a physical level in retribution.

But Erik had provoked Jase.

My brain hurt by the time the Jeep idled up to the curb. Like the night before, he went to turn off the engine, but I stopped him. I needed to get my head straight.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” I said.

He stared at me for a moment and then nodded. “Let me get your crutches at least.”

“Okay.”

Easing out of the Jeep, I put my weight down on my good leg and waited until he pulled my crutches out of the backseat and handed them to me. I had the distinct feeling that as I met his steely gaze, he was more upset with this than I probably understood.

I started to invite him up, but he cupped my cheeks gently, leaned down, pressed his lips to mine, and kissed me so softly I was acutely reminded of the inherent tenderness inside of Jase. “Are we okay?” he asked, and I felt the ground drop out from under my feet.

The idea of us not being good before we even had a chance to do something with this relationship was a cold smack in the face. The words burst from me, surprising me. “It’s not just that it reminded me of what Cam did. It reminded me of him—of everything I felt while I was with him and everything I felt afterward.”

Jase closed his eyes briefly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think.”

“It’s okay,” I whispered.

He didn’t look like he believed me. “You sure?”

I nodded because I was unable to speak. His fingers slipped away, and he jerked his chin toward the entrance.

“I’ll wait until you get inside.”

Emotion clogged my throat. “Good night, Jase.”

“Night,” he murmured.

It was when I was in the brightly lit lobby that I realized I’d left my cupcake and my heart out there. I twisted at the waist, burning to hobble outside and to just forget about everything, but like Jase had promised, he’d waited until I made it inside.

The Jeep was gone.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I headed to the elevator. Regret burned like food that didn’t set right in the stomach, but him leaving was probably a good thing. I needed to sort my head out.

I still didn’t know what to think or how to feel, but how could I stay mad? And should I? All I wanted to do was sleep. Tomorrow I would know what to say to him.

When I flipped on the light, it flickered once and then went out, pitching the room back into darkness.

“Fudge pucker,” I muttered as I hobbled around the coffee table, knocking the edges of the crutches into it. I found the little lamp and flipped it on. The energy-saving bulb only cast enough light that I wouldn’t break my neck getting around the room. I propped my crutches in the corner and turned.