Текст книги "Be with Me"

Автор книги: Jennifer L. Armentrout

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Текущая страница: 22 (всего у книги 24 страниц)

He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against mine with the slightest pressure. “I wanted to talk to you. That’s why I texted you, because I fucking missed you and I thought . . .” He pulled away, shaking his head. There was a sheen to his eyes that caused my throat to constrict. “Anyway, we’ll talk more later because you don’t need this shit right now.”

I wanted to tell him that I was okay with this shit, with hearing more, because the rawness of his words was tearing me up and patching me together, filling me with hope and diminishing the events of today, but he reached over to the nightstand and picked up the pink box.

“I got this for you after music class and I wanted to give it to you when I came over to help with your dorm, so I’ve had it for a while. It might not be fresh.” The tips of his cheeks flushed pink as he opened the box. “It’s vanilla with strawberry icing. I, uh, know how much you like that kind of icing.”

My gaze followed the blush as it deepened. It was so rare to see him uncomfortable or unsure of what he was doing.

He peeked up at me through lowered lashes. “You probably don’t want anything to eat right now, so how about just the icing?”

My stomach grumbled, although the knots forming in my belly dampened my hunger, but he looked so hesitant that I couldn’t refuse him. “I’d like that.”

One side of his lips quirked up as he slashed his pinkie finger through the rich icing, scooping up quite a bit of the pink stuff. I wasn’t expecting this method of tasting as he lifted his finger to my lips.

His eyes met mine then, and a flutter took root in my stomach as I opened my mouth. There was no way I could look away as I took his finger into my mouth and got my first taste of the sugary sweetness. And he kept his eyes on mine as he repeated the motions until all the icing was gone and my face felt warm.

Jase sat the opened box aside and then bowed his head to mine. I gasped as his tongue flicked out, gliding across my lower lip. “You had some icing on your lip.”

“Oh.” I was beyond the point of forming comprehensive responses.

He drew back, eyes glimmering. “That might have been a lie.”

My lips tipped into a grin. “Might?”

“Okay.” He reached down, threading his fingers through mine carefully. He brushed his lips over the bruised, achy skin. “It was most definitely a lie.”

A small laugh broke free. “That’s the kind of lie I don’t mind.”

“It’s a tasty lie, huh?” When I nodded, the tension in his shoulders started to ease away, but then I yawned and he stiffened. “You need to sleep.”

Between the pain meds and everything, the allure of sleep was too strong to deny, but I didn’t want to say good-bye to him. I glanced down at our joined hands, to his pinkie that was slightly stained with pink. “Will . . . will you stay with me? As long as they let you?”

His eyes lightened to a silvery gray as his lips tipped up in a lopsided smile. “Baby, I’m all yours if you want me to be.”

Those words seemed to be heavy with meaning, and I felt my chest spasm. “I do.”

Bowing his head, he kissed the center of my hand and then let go. He stood with a fluid grace I envied and walked to the curtain. As he pulled it closed, he glanced over his shoulder and winked at me with a playful grin.

Jase helped me scoot over and then climbed in beside me, his long body barely fitting the bed. The two of us together made it crowded, but I didn’t care. He turned onto his side, so that his head was close to mine.

Like he was dealing with fragile china, he was careful when he laid his hand over my stomach. “Comfortable?”

Despite the dull aches and the fact I was lying in a hospital bed, I was more comfortable than I’d ever been. “Yes.”

“Good.” His eyes met mine and held them with warm intensity that felt a lot like love. “They’d have to pry me out of this damn bed. I’m not going anywhere.”

Thirty

The doctors released me the following afternoon with a prescription of pain meds in case I got any headaches or if the pain became too much, but after sleeping almost the entire night curled up against Jase in the narrow bed, my body felt surprisingly better than the day before. Sure, there were some aches and I was moving at the speed of a three-legged turtle, but I was okay.

I was better than okay. I was alive.

Mom and Dad looked like they wanted to cart me off home as I stepped out into the cold, but I wasn’t going home with them when they left their hotel room later in the week. I was going back to my apartment.

Jase waited patiently by his Jeep, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans as he leaned against the door.

“Honey, I really don’t want to leave you right now.”

I turned to Mom, giving her a hug. “I’m okay. Really. I just want to go back to my place and chill out.”

“With him?” Dad grumbled, eyeing the guy that he’d always welcomed into his home without a single thought.

I sighed. “Yes, with him.”

“Is he your boyfriend now or something?” he asked, and I had no idea how to answer that question, because I wasn’t sure where we were, which did not go unnoticed by my father. A thoughtful look crept across his face. The kind of look bad things sprouted from. “Maybe I need to talk to him again.”

“No,” I said quickly. “You do not need to talk to him. At all.”

Dad looked like he was about to disagree, but Mom placed her hand on his back. “Call us later, okay? Just to check in.”

“I will.” I figured I’d probably only have a couple of hours at the apartment before Cam swung by to check in. I would be facing a lot of impromptu check-ins for a while.

After another round of hugs and tears, they let me go and I joined Jase. He pushed off the Jeep and opened the door for me. “I think your father looks like he wants to take me hunting.” He took hold of my elbow, hoisting me up. “Like a special, scary hunting trip where I’m the game.”

I giggled. “You know, you’re probably not too far off with that assessment.”

“Great.” He closed the door and jogged around the front. Climbing in, he shot me a look. “Your dad used to love me.”

That much was true. “That’s before he suspected there was something between us.”

“Something between us?” he murmured thoughtfully, and I tensed. He didn’t speak again until he pulled out of the hospital parking lot. “There’s definitely something between us.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that, because what I wanted between us was something he’d been unwilling to deal with a few weeks ago, but then there was yesterday and what he’d said before he climbed into bed with me.

Jase reached over, taking my hand, and we didn’t speak on the way back to the apartment. There was something soothing in the silence, and I took the time to gather my thoughts.

He found a parking spot close to the entrance in University Heights, limiting the time in the brisk, cold air since I was sorely underdressed. Cam’s truck was in the lot and as we reached the landing to our level, I could hear Avery’s laughter coming from inside her apartment.

“Do you think he’ll propose soon?” I whispered.

Jase nodded as I unlocked the door. “I bet he’ll do it over Christmas.”

That would be perfect, but I also had a feeling that he’d just spring it on her instead of trying to plan it again. Either way, I knew she’d say yes and they would have a happily ever after.

My happily ever after? I was still praying that it was possible, that it was about to happen.

I stopped just inside Cam’s apartment. Correction. Our apartment. I’d probably never get used to thinking of it that way. Looking away, I soaked in the familiar worn couch, the big-screen TV that my brother had splurged on. The game system and half the stack of games was gone, relocated to Avery’s apartment. Emotion clogged my throat when I glanced into the narrow kitchen and saw the baking sheets sitting on top of the stove. I limped slowly forward, feeling heavy and weighed down by what had happened.

Jase closed the door behind us and placed his hand on my shoulder. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” I nodded for extra emphasis. More like I needed to hear myself say it. “It’s just I didn’t know if I’d ever see this place again.”

He turned me so I faced him as he cupped my uninjured cheek. His features were sharp with unspoken emotions. Fear. Adrenaline. Relief. Our gazes locked, and I knew in that moment he was feeling what I was. A future had almost been lost and we were on the cusp of a second chance, and the realization was shattering.

“I need you.” His voice was guttural with the depth of what he admitted. “I need you right now.”

There was no doubt in my mind with what he wanted. I needed the same. “Yes.”

Jase’s hand shook as he pressed a kiss to the corner of my lip and then to the hollow of my cheek. His lips met the skin below my ear, causing me to shiver. A hot, wet path trailed down my neck and then back up. A strangled cry escaped me when he nipped on my earlobe. A throbbing ache between my thighs caused desire to blossom inside me, but it was love that was swelling, fueling the fire licking over my skin.

“I want this,” he said, sliding his hands down my sides. He gripped my hips. “I want you always.”

I looped my arms around his neck. “I want you.”

Jase made a deep sound in the back of his throat. “I could almost live on hearing those words.”

“Almost? What could you live—?”

He lifted me up, his broad hands cupping my ass as he walked me backward. Whatever I was about to say was lost as he pressed my back against the wall beside the couch and ground his hips into mine as he kissed my throat. I wrapped my legs around his waist, the position allowing him to wedge himself between my thighs.

My eyes drifted shut as I craned my neck, giving him access. And he took it, nipping and licking as his hips thrust into mine, driving me insane with the rising anticipation.

Jase lifted his head, kissing my chin and my mouth, avoiding the area that was tender to touch. I moaned as he pushed my cardigan off my shoulders and cupped my breast through my shirt. My nipple immediately pearled, sensitive and pulsing. A spark of acute pleasure darted from the tips of my breast to my core. His hips rolled into mine, hitting a sweet spot that had me crying out.

“I’m sorry,” he growled against my mouth. “If this is too rough, if this hurts, you’ve—”

“It doesn’t,” I assured him, digging my fingers into his shoulders. My body was sore, but the needful ache to be with him was far stronger. “I won’t break.”

“Damn good thing to hear.” His hands trembled as they circled my waist, betraying how tightly wound he was. “Because you’re the kind of toy I plan to play with for a very, very long time.”

I arched a brow, and he sent me a wickedly mischievous wink as he extracted my legs from around his waist and settled my feet onto the floor.

“I wanted to talk to you first,” he said, tugging my cardigan off, tossing it to the floor. At this moment, talking was so overrated. “Before it got to this, but I can’t wait. I need to be in you.” He wrapped his fingers under the hem of my shirt. “If you don’t want that, you stop me now and I will back off.” His eyes, a liquid silver, met mine. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do. If you want to talk, we’ll talk first. If you want me to get the fuck out of your face, I will, but if you tell me to stay, I’m going to be so deep inside you, you’ll think I’ll never come out again.”

My entire body dampened, liquefied at his words and his deep, husky drawl. I was out of my league with him sometimes, but I was wholly ready for him.

“But know this,” he continued, stepping closer so that our thighs touched. “I made a huge mistake by pushing you away. I was a fucking coward, too scared of being hurt again, and I was hurting the moment you walked away. I did that to myself and to you, and I’ve never been more sorry in my life about anything.”

I caught my breath as I soaked in what he was saying and what it meant for us, but nothing prepared me for the rush of emotion his next words opened up in me.

He dropped his forehead to mine and with a silky soft kiss, he gently parted my lips, working his velvety tongue against mine. “And I’m more than willing to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, because I love you, Tess. I am so fucking in love with you in a way I’ve never loved someone before.” His eyes glittered with hunger and love. “Please let me prove that to you. Please, Tess.”

A flutter picked up in my stomach, and my heart rate accelerated as I stared into his beautiful eyes. He’d said he’d loved me once before, but that had come at the height of lust, and those three little words had been lost in what happened after that. These words meant everything now, and that was all that mattered. People made mistakes all the time. God knows I was a pro at doing and saying the wrong things. And Jase had made a mistake, but if he was willing to make up for it, I was willing to let him try.

I was willing to let him love me.

My knees were weak and I had no idea how I remained standing or was able to force out the one word. “Stay.”

Jase closed his eyes briefly. “Fuck yeah.”

My shirt came off with a startling quickness. The boy had talent when it came to removing clothes. He splayed his fingers across my ribs, just below the white lace of my bra. My skin flushed as his stare devoured my partial nakedness.

“You’re fucking gorgeous, and I am so fucking lucky.” He kissed the valley between my breasts and then each swell “But there’s another part of you that’s even more beautiful.”

Jase kissed my stomach and then his tongue dipped into my navel as he lowered himself onto his knees. My back arched off the wall, sucking a breath and holding it until my skin tingled.

He reached down, easing my feet out of my sneakers and then removing my socks. He grinned as he held one. “Elves? On socks?”

“It’s close to Christmas.”

“Cute.” He tossed them over his shoulder. His nimble fingers found their way under the sweats Cam had picked up for me to change into. As Jase slid them down my hips, my pulse pounded. “There we go,” he said, kissing just below the band of my cotton panties. A rush of wetness hit me. He peered up through thick lashes. “You know how I like to eat sweet things.”

“Oh God . . .”

With a deep chuckle, he hooked his fingers under the band and tugged them down. I was almost naked and he was completely clothed. The difference made me feel vulnerable as he rose like a predator. His hands slid around my back, unhooking my bra. With his teeth, he drew the straps of my bra down, grazing my skin in the process.

Stepping back, he admired his work. “God, baby, you blow my mind. Look at you.” He placed a tanned hand on my hip, anchoring me as his head dipped. The edges of his soft hair brushed the swell of my breast, heightening my nerves.

But then he drew my nipple into his hot mouth, and every nerve in my body flared. I gasped as pleasure rolled through me in tumultuous waves. My fingers dug into his hair as his free hand slipped between my thighs, fingers brushing over where I throbbed with every fast heartbeat. I moaned as my head fell back against the wall.

He lifted his head, nuzzling my neck, just above my shoulder. “I love you, Tess. I love you so much.”

My body clenched. Hot, tight shudders racked me. His fingers were barely touching me, and I was already close to falling over the edge. “I love you, Jase.”

“Say it again,” he murmured against my cheek. “I need to hear you say it.”

“I love you. I love you.” I repeated it over and over, lost in pure sensations. My hips surged forward, grinding against his thigh and his hand.

A satisfied smile split his lips. “Fuck, I love hearing that.” Pleasure spiked as he slipped a finger inside. “God, you’re so wet.” He growled low in this throat as he smoothed over the tight concentration of nerves. My body jerked in response and was flooded with heat. “You like that?”

“Yes,” I whispered, panting. “Very much so.”

His dark hair tickled my nipples as his lips drifted over my collarbone. A tiny feminine sound caught in my throat as he knelt on his knees once more, easing my legs wide until I was completely exposed to him. Lightning rushed through me as his tongue glided from my navel to my center.

“So sweet.” He kissed my inner thigh. “So beautiful.”

The air left my lungs as his head lowered again and he sliced me open with his tongue. I shuddered, my fingers clenching and unclenching in his hair. He captured my flesh with his mouth, alternating between determined strokes of his tongue and sucking deep as if he needed my taste to survive.

I cried out, hips thrusting against him as he worked me quickly to release. The fierce heat built and then exploded. I couldn’t breathe as every muscle locked up and waves and waves of pleasure rolled through me, and he kept on, holding me up with his hand as he soaked up every response until the aftershocks died off.

Jase rose then, his lips moist and swollen as he drew me to his chest. His eyes burned with lust and love when he cupped the nape of my neck, titling my head back. The length of his hardness burned through his clothes, pressing against my stomach.

“Now I’m going to make love to you.”

Chapter Thirty-one

Jase scooped me up into his arms and carried me back into the bedroom, gently lying me down in the mound of pillows I’d accumulated since I’d moved in.

He stepped back, his eyes riveted on mine as he undressed. Watching him reveal his exquisite body one article of clothing at a time was probably one of the most sensual and exciting things I’d ever seen.

The first time we were together had been a glorious rush. Not that it hadn’t been marvelous and mind-blowing in its own way, I just knew that this time was going to be different.

Nerves stretched tight, I shook, because we were truly about to make love and I’d never done that before.

Shucking off his briefs, I felt my breath catch. Jase had the kind of body fantasies were made of. Seriously. Broad shoulders, a well-defined chest, and abs I could flip quarters off of. His hips were narrow, legs lean and long, and what hung between his thighs was pretty damn impressive. He was fully aroused and he wanted me.

And he loved me.

Jase prowled forward, climbing up on the bed and only stopping once he hovered over me, his arms caging me in. “Touch me,” he urged, voice dark.

He didn’t have to ask me twice. I placed my hands on his chest, running them down the rigid muscles of his stomach, following the thin trail of hair until I wrapped a hand around him. He flexed against my palm, eliciting a thrill.

Kicking his head, he groaned hoarsely as I stroked his length. “Oh God . . .”

I smiled as his chin lowered and his jaw loosened. “You like that?”

“I like everything you do.” He dropped a kiss to my forehead and then peppered little ones all over my face—my cheeks, my eyelids, even the tip of my nose. “Everything.”

Emboldened by his statement, I slid my hand up, squeezing gently as I reached the tip. His hips punched into the motion, and he made another deep, ragged sound.

“Yeah,” he ground out, arms shaking as he swelled against my hand. “You keep that up and this is going to be over before it gets started and you don’t want that. Trust me.”

“I don’t.” But I didn’t want to stop touching him.

I craned my neck as I held him, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw and then making my own path down his throat, tasting the saltiness of his skin. His chest rose and fell sharply as I moved my hand slowly, teasing him until he moved away.

I pouted. “That’s not fair.”

He chuckled as his breath moved down my throat. “Be patient, baby. You’ll have all of me soon enough, but first . . .”

His tongue circled the hardened tip of my breast and then closed over it, sucking deep and drawing me clear off the bed. I gripped his head, my hips moving restlessly as he moved to the other breast, paying it the same amount of attention. Rife and powerful desire built like a fierce storm.

He clasped a possessive hand around my hip as he lifted his head. Features strained, he took a deep breath. “I don’t think I can wait any longer. I need you, Tess.”

My heart flipped over. “Then don’t wait.”

Jase started to ease himself between my thighs, but stopped. “Shit. I don’t have a condom.”

I placed a hand on his cheek. “You know I’m on the pill and you’re the only person I’ve been with since, well, since like forever.”

“I haven’t been with anyone else in a long time. I’m clean and I’ll pull out just in case.” He paused, lining up above me. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

I slid my hands over his shoulders. “I want you. Now.”

His lips brushed over mine as he rolled his hips forward, probing my entrance. He kissed me sweetly and so tenderly that I wanted to wrap myself around him for years. Resting his forehead against mine, he slowly pushed in, stretching me in a delicious way. I held on to him, bringing my knees up to his sides, giving him access and he slid in deeper, filling me. I let out a moan when he was in, and he shifted his weight onto his arms.

Our bodies were flush, chest to chest and hip to hip. I could feel him inside me, throbbing as he held himself still above me. “Jase,” I whispered, dragging my fingers down his arms.

He gently kissed my parted lips. “God, you feel so damn good.”

“So do you.” I skated my fingers back up, to his cheeks. “It feels so right.”

“Yeah,” he groaned.

Body trembling, he slowly withdrew and then rocked his hips forward, causing my toes to curl. He set a slow pace that was both sweet and torturous. With each deep, smooth thrust, I tilted my hips to meet his. There was a seduction in the act of love, a quality missing when the heart wasn’t involved. Every shift of his hips, every kiss he bestowed, and every brush of his hands and fingers meant something infinite.

He held my gaze as we made love, taking and giving to each other. The slow build went deeper than the crazy intenseness of our joining last time. I could feel him swelling and tightening inside me. I breathed every breath he took, shivered along with every shudder that coursed through his body.

But our bodies soon demanded more. My heels dug into his back, urging him to move faster, and he did. The speed of his thrusts picked up as did our breathing and my pounding heart. Wasn’t too long before the headboard was hitting the wall again with the power of how he was moving.

When my body tensed up and the coil that had formed deep inside me started to unfurl at a dizzying rate, I gasped out. “I love you.”

Whatever control Jase had at that point broke as the rawness of the act took off as his hips matched mine in a tempo that was shattering. I came, experiencing a powerful release that spread out from my core, shocking my body in tight shivers that had me crying out his name until my voice was hoarse.

He pulled out only when the last of the climax was easing through me, his arousal pulsating against my stomach as he dropped his head to my shoulder, kissing the bare skin as his hips twitched. I held him close, savoring the feel of his body on mine.

His skin was damp and his body still trembling when he lifted his head, kissing the corner of my lips. “I love you, Teresa.”

We stayed wrapped together while our breathing returned to normal. In those moments of silence, the strangest thing happened to me. Something . . . something fragile broke inside me. Like an old, rusted-out lock finally opened.

I don’t know what it was exactly that did it. Could’ve been the last year or so of my life and all the changes I’d gone through. From believing I only had one life ahead of me, to finally accepting there was more out there than dancing. Maybe it was seeing Jase and experiencing every up and down with him. It could’ve been Debbie and what her loss symbolized. It might have been Erik and the horror of that time in the dorm room and what it reminded me of.

And maybe . . . just maybe it had to do with Jeremy and the abusive relationship I’d been a part of, that was a part of me, and I finally fully understood that it would always be there with me, but it didn’t make me who I was today. It shaped me, but it wasn’t me. Before I knew it, my cheeks were damp.

Jase lifted his head. “Tess? Baby?” He cupped my cheek, smoothing the tears away with his thumb. “What’s wrong?”

I wasn’t sure how to put it into words and when I didn’t answer, his face paled. “Did I hurt? I should’ve waited. This could’ve—”

“No,” I croaked out. I tried to smile through the haze of tears. “It’s not you. It’s just . . . everything and it’s been a lot to wrap my head around.”

He ran his thumb under my good eye again. “It has been a lot, Tess. And you’ve been handling everything. You’re so strong—the strongest person I know.”

I choked out a laugh, and then the tears fell harder. Jase made a deep sound in the back of his throat, and then he gathered me up, tucking me against his chest as he held me close.

“I’ll never forget what it was like to be with him,” I said, and somehow Jase knew who I was talking about. “And that’s okay, isn’t it? That doesn’t make me weak or a victim.”

“No.” He dropped a kiss to the top of my head. “You are neither of those things.”

“It’s not who I am now, but it’s a part of me and . . . and I’m okay with that.” A shudder worked its way through me, and between the tears, we talked about Jeremy and we talked about Debbie and Erik. We talked about dancing and we talked about teaching, and he wrapped himself around me, holding me until there were no tears left, until the burdens I knew I’d carried and the ones I hadn’t really realized I’d been shouldering all this time lifted and faded away.

A buckass naked Jase making soup for me so I wouldn’t irritate my bruised jaw literally had to be one of the top five things in life I wanted to see in person. Even coming ahead of watching the San Francisco Ballet perform onstage.

Good God, he had the most perfect ass I’d ever seen.

We sat on my bed, the sheet tucked under my arms as we shared the large bowl of vegetable soup. One spoon and two mouths made for an interesting in-bed experience. A bit of broth escaped down my chin, and Jase caught it with his tongue. “Hmm, how about you lie back and let me eat the rest of the soup like this?”

I laughed, feeling lighter—feeling better in spite of the fact that I was stuffy from all the tears. “That would get a bit messy.”

“But it would be fun.” He swirled the spoon around, catching the tender chunks of veggies. “More?”

Being fed seemed stupid. Unless it was a naked Jase feeding you. Then it was incredibly hot. I opened up, swallowing the broth and chewing what I could. “Thank you.”

He shrugged a tan shoulder and lifted the spoon to his own mouth. Chewing thoughtfully for a few moments, he chased after a piece of meat. “You know, I really planned on talking to you first before I got you naked.”

“But you did plan on getting me naked?” I couldn’t resist teasing him.

“Hell yeah I did.” He grinned and then popped the meat into his mouth. Lowering his lashes, he scooped up more broth. “Actually, I hoped it ended with wild, animalistic sex.” He tipped the spoon to my lips, making sure I didn’t miss a drop. “But I messed up so bad and I was expecting you to tell me to get the hell out.”

I cocked my head to the side as I wiggled closer. “Really?”

He nodded. “I know I’m damn charming, but I fucked up and I—”

Leaning over the bowl, I pressed my lips to his. With my busted lip, it didn’t make for that hot of a kiss, but he stilled like I’d reached around the bowl and grabbed a different kind of meat. “You messed up,” I said, as I rocked back. “I know. You really did, you jackass. And you hurt my feelings.”

He looked contrite. “Tess—”

“But I’m not going to sit here and hold it over your head forever. Not when I thought there was a damn good chance I was going to die yesterday. As cliché as this sounds, life is too short. I want you,” I said passionately. “Baggage and all, Jase. And I know it’s not going to be easy. I was prepared for that when I came back to you. Jack is your son, whether he realizes it or not. And it doesn’t matter if you ever tell him, he will always be your son. And if one day you decide to tell him the truth, I’ll support you in any way.”

His gaze dropped to the bowl. “Are you seriously ready for that? What if I tell him when I graduate next semester?”

My stomach dipped a little at the prospect, but that was expected. “You come with responsibility that I’m willing to be a part of. I don’t know how good I’ll be at anything that has to do with him, but I’ll try hard.”

Jase lifted his gaze, eyes wide. “You’d be perfect, Tess. He already likes you a lot and he . . . well, one day, you’d make a great mom.”

I flushed, and instead of being skeeved out by the idea of motherhood, I warmed with the compliment. “Thank you.” I took a deep breath. “And you’re really ready for this?”

“I’ve done a lot of thinking, Tess, and I am. I think I’ve been ready but didn’t want to acknowledge it. What I feel for you, it blew my mind. At first I thought it was wrong because of Cam, but when I realized that wasn’t it, that I was afraid of losing you, I knew I needed to work through it all.” He thrust a hand through the mess of hair. “And you were right. I hadn’t fully moved on. I know I need to visit her grave. I wanted to. That was what I was going to tell you.”

“When you texted me that you wanted to talk?”

He nodded again. “That wasn’t the only thing, but it was a part of it. I think by doing that, it’s like closing the door, you know? Not forgetting, but truly moving on.”

I tried not to show my shock. That was a huge step for him. Maybe not to some people, but for Jase it was a big deal. “I think that’s a great idea and if you need me there with you, I’ll be there.”

He smiled a little as he shook his head. “You . . . you are amazing, Tess.”

“No, I’m not. I just love you, Jase.”

It appeared that he stopped breathing for a moment, and then he leaned around me, sitting the bowl on the nightstand. As he settled back, he touched the bruise on my jaw lightly. “I’m not sure I deserve you.”

I closed my eyes. “I don’t like hearing you say that.”