Текст книги "Breaking Stars"

Автор книги: J. Sterling

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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

I gasped and pulled away slowly before responding carefully, “I think you might break mine.”

“I don’t ever want to.”

The hunger in his eyes should have scared me off, the passion and intensity reflected there unlike anything I’d ever experienced before, either on screen or off. Looking at him now made me question whether any feelings I’d ever experienced before had been real. It almost felt as if they’d been acted out on a set or scripted for good publicity. But this…

Right here.

Right now.

With Tatum.

It was as if my world violently came to life around me in that moment, as if I’d been living my life before in black and white, and now everything was suddenly lit up in vibrant Technicolor. Tatum woke me up from the slumber I didn’t even realize I was in. This was the most alive and real I’d ever felt in my adult life.

The Kiss That Erases All Others

Tatum

Kissing Paige worked me up into a frenzy. I’d been trying to deny my feelings for her and shove any sign of them back into the hole in my chest where my heart once lived, but tonight had been too much. She pushed me too far. Seeing her body pressed against Troy’s took all of my willpower. I wanted to rip him limb from limb just for touching her.

An immature notion, I know, but I still felt that way.

Once the craziness took over my body, I knew I needed to confess some things to her. Paige needed to hear that I didn’t want her dancing with anyone else. I didn’t want her touching any other guy in this town. Hell, I didn’t want her touching any other guy in any town. Ever again.

Note to self: Good luck with that request.

When Paige told me she wanted me, I nearly lost it right there in that bar. She’d said the words I hadn’t allowed myself to think when it came to her. I’d spent so much of my spare time convincing myself that a girl like Paige would never be interested in a guy like me. How many hours had I wasted being foolish?

No more.

She was still talking, and all I wanted to do was silence her. So I covered her pretty little lips with mine. They were so soft, and her tongue tasted like whiskey and sweet-and-sour mix. I’d never enjoyed the taste of whiskey as much as I did in that moment. I wanted to drink her in forever. My life before kissing Paige had just ended. Kissing her changed everything, and I knew it the moment her lips touched mine.

“You’re gonna break my heart,” I told her, wanting her to know how hard I planned on falling for her.

She gasped and pulled away from me. My mind instantly went to worst-case scenarios, and I figured I’d just blown the whole thing. Hoped I enjoyed kissing her, because I’d never get to do that again.

“I think you might break mine.” Her words sent fireworks shooting through my chest and ricocheting across my heart.

“I don’t ever want to,” spilled from my lips, and damn if I didn’t mean it. Every single word.

“Take me home, Tatum.”

If I thought for one second that I couldn’t be more aroused, I was instantly proven wrong with those words. I wanted her. I’d wanted her since I first laid eyes on those long tanned legs, but I couldn’t go that far. Not tonight. Maybe not ever.

Pressing my body against hers, I cupped her firm ass in my hand and squeezed. She let out a quick sigh that worked me up even more. I had to detach my real brain from the one in my pants, so I sucked in a deep breath and said, “We gotta take it slow, Princess.”

Then she growled.

Paige literally stopped rubbing her hands all over me and growled. And I laughed and almost begged her to do it again. The growling part.

“Don’t call me that. Seriously, Tatum. Don’t,” she warned, but my eyes fell on her lips and all I wanted to do was suck them into my mouth and nibble.

“Fine. I won’t. But still. I can’t go throwing you into the sack the first chance I get.”

Her eyes closed and she smiled. “Throwing me in the sack? You’re so Southern.”

“No shit, sweetheart.”

“Well, I wasn’t asking you to take me to bed, Princess.” She smirked as she threw my nickname for her back at me. Then her voice softened. “I just want to be alone with you. You know, without worrying about someone watching or being photographed.”

Feeling like an idiot for forgetting who I was kissing, I suddenly became aware of our surroundings. “Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about it.” Even though we were in my hometown, I scanned the doors and windows of the bar, looking for prying eyes.

“Why would you? That kind of crazy only happens to me. And to be honest, even I forgot all about it when we were inside.” She leaned up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss against my nose.

Who the hell does that? Apparently Paige Lockwood does, and I’d be damned if I said I didn’t enjoy it.

“Let’s go home, babe,” I told her, “but you’ve gotta drive.”

While I was nowhere near hammered, I’d been at the bar long enough this evening to know better than to get behind the wheel. Having one or two beers was one thing for my one-minute drive home, but spending hours at the only bar in town was another. I liked to think I knew my limits, although everything was in question since this girl drove into my life.

“I have your mom’s car,” she announced and I threw my head back in surprise. Mama didn’t let just anyone take her car. Hell, she’d never even let me take it, but here she was, letting Paige Lockwood drive it around town.

“We’ll just leave my truck here and I’ll come get it in the morning.” I started to walk toward Mama’s little red sports car as Paige got into the driver’s seat.

Once she pulled onto my dirt road, I started fidgeting. I couldn’t wait to get Paige out of this car and into the barn. Once at the house, she turned off the ignition and we both stepped out of our seats and into the night. I hurried to her side, reaching for her hand, and pulled her toward the back of the house. “Wait, let me put your mom’s car keys in the house first.”

“No way!” I almost yelled, but then recovered. “She’ll know you’re back but you’re not home, if you catch my drift.” I wanted Paige in the barn with me, but I wasn’t sure I wanted Mama to catch on to that fact. She wasn’t stupid or naive, and come tomorrow morning, she’d be asking me a ton of questions that would make me want to rip all my hair out. What was it with females and questions?

“Tatum.” Paige pulled me to a stop and faced me. “Your mom has been pushing me toward you since I got here. I have a feeling she won’t mind.”

“She has not,” I argued halfheartedly, wondering if my mom would really do that.

“Oh yes, she has,” she said before dropping my hand and opening the front door. Paige’s cute ass disappeared into the darkness before immediately reappearing. She was back at my side, pressing her lips against my cheek before I could argue.

We walked in a hurried pace toward the back house. I never locked the door, so I pulled at the screen first and held it open for her. When she walked through the door, I smacked her ass and she screamed.

“That hurt!”

“Good,” I teased, not really meaning it, but liking the sound that came out of her mouth. It had been a long time since I’d been with a woman…in any kind of way.

As I wandered through the entryway, she tried to block me with her petite frame. She threw her arms around my neck and leaped onto me, wrapping her legs around my waist.

“I’ve been waiting forever for you to kiss me,” she said as she planted kisses on my mouth, my cheek, my neck.

“If it’s any consolation, I’ve wanted to kiss you since you hopped into my truck,” I mumbled through my lust-filled haze.

She leaned back slightly, her weight shifting in my arms. “Nope. It’s no consolation at all.”

I tore my eyes away from hers and locked onto her pretty lips. Her tongue darted across the bottom one before she pressed her mouth against mine, her tongue entering without any hesitation. I stroked her tongue with mine, pulling away a little to nip gently at her lips. She fisted my hair as I cupped her ass and her back with my hands. Most of me wanted to throw her down on my bed and bury myself in her, but the other part of me had to fight for self-control.

I pulled away from her kiss and lowered her gently to the floor. “I need a second, babe.” Her chest heaved as she struggled to even out her breathing. We were both filled with want for each other, and I found some comfort in that fact.

“What’s the matter?” she asked as I stepped away from her.

“I’m not…I’m not ready for this. Between us. I just can’t go there yet.” I’d been so attracted to her since the moment I laid eyes on her, and I’d wanted to kiss her for just as long. But my willpower was only so strong and if I didn’t take a few moments, I’d throw her on the couch and lose myself to her before I took another breath.

Her face broke out into a grin. “Well, isn’t this ironic?”

“What’s that?”

“The guy telling the girl we have to slow down. That happens…oh, about, never?” When I laughed, she reached for my face, her hands cupping my cheeks as she pulled me toward her. “We’ll go at your pace,” she said in a mocking tone before planting a quick kiss on my mouth.

“Yeah, we will. You know I’m worth the wait,” I teased back.

Paige moved toward the couch and sat down before patting the cushion next to her. “We don’t have to do anything, Tatum. We can just talk, if you want.”

“I don’t want to talk, Paige. I’ve been dying to kiss you, so I plan on doing just that. And I want to do a lot of it. I just can’t go further than that with you. Not tonight. I hope you’re okay with that.”

It was official. If they gave out man cards when we were born, mine would certainly be revoked right about now.

“Of course I’m okay with that. I almost don’t know what to think, to be honest.” She fluttered her eyelashes and a small smile appeared on her face. “Usually guys are clamoring to get into girls’ pants. Not just mine, but any girl.”

“Trust me. I know. I’m still a guy. And the guy part of me is dying to get in your pants,” I admitted before leaning over her and covering her body with mine.

I held my body over hers, before turning on my side so both of us fit. Pressing my hand against her back, I pulled her chest against mine as I willed my focus to remain intact. I swore I felt the blood leave my body and congregate in my pants, as if to mock me and test my resolve. Knowing it was useless to fight my growing erection, I attempted to ignore it.

My dick was like a knock-knock joke, constantly throbbing against my zipper until I answered its call. Trying to distract myself, I weaved my hand through Paige’s long hair. It was so soft, my fingers slid right through it. Slowly I brushed my fingertips along her neck as I moved them up toward her cheek. Then I traced her upper lip with one finger, surprised when her tongue darted out and licked it slowly. I closed my eyes and my entire body stilled as she tilted her head and began sucking my finger into her mouth.

“Jesus Christ, Paige,” I muttered, and she instantly pulled away, releasing my finger.

“I didn’t think good Southern boys talked like that,” she said, looking at me with her eyes all big.

“That’s because you believe all the movies you star in.”

“Well, the stereotype has to come from somewhere,” she said as her eyebrows pulled together.

“Yeah. Hollywood.” I framed her face in my palms and pulled her against me. “And girls like you.”

My lips ached for contact with hers. My hands longed to be touching any part of her skin. The electricity that buzzed around us had nothing to do with alcohol, and I knew it. It had been there since day one, I’d just tried to ignore it.

There was no way I could ignore anything that had to do with the girl in my arms. Not any more. And I wouldn’t even bother trying.

I Feel Red

Paige

Kissing Tatum had been electrifying. When I wasn’t in contact with him, I missed the high. My entire body felt like it was linked to his by tiny invisible cords connecting us in a million different points. Whenever he pulled away from me to collect himself, the cords stretched and my body ached against the strain.

I’d never experienced such red-hot intensity. No one had ever made me feel so connected to them before. Not even Colin, and I’d been head over heels in love with that guy. Maybe I’d just been head over heels in stupid with him?

I realized that I was still learning about myself, my heart, and those who wanted a piece of it. It was a fair assessment that I’d loved Colin, but not in that life-changing way. A part of me probably always knew that Colin was temporary. My heart realized we wouldn’t last forever, so it only loved him with as much as it allowed me to give. Or maybe I was just plain crazy and reading way too much into my current emotions.

After sneaking into the house last night, I crept into my bed and tried to make as little noise as possible. Mrs. Montgomery hadn’t said a thing so far, so I didn’t think she realized I’d been having a make-out session with her only child.

Pulling on a pair of cutoff white shorts and a blue tank, I walked into the kitchen the next morning where Mrs. Montgomery always seemed to be. She did a lot of cooking and baking, and had been asking if I wanted to learn how to make a few Southern staples. I told her I did, seeing as how I didn’t have anything else to do except daydream about her son’s lips.

“Mrs. Montgomery, is there a phone at Tatum’s place?” I asked, hoping that the answer would be yes because I needed some privacy.

“There is.” Her eyes narrowed in a way that should have warned me that she knew more than she was saying, but I pretended to be oblivious.

“Is Tatum back there?”

“He’s at the shop already.”

“I need to make a couple of phone calls, if that’s all right with you, and I just wanted some privacy. Is that rude?” This woman had gone out of her way to make me feel at home, and telling her that I needed to be alone felt like I was betraying her trust, or accusing her of being untrustworthy.

“Of course that isn’t rude. You go on back. Take all the time you need.” She waved me off. “And here, take a muffin.” She tossed another freshly baked muffin at me and I caught it with both hands, surprised I didn’t smash it into a hundred pieces.

“When I come back, you’ll show me how to make that pie?”

“I won’t start it without you.” She smiled and sipped from her coffee mug.

I walked to the back of the property toward the barn and opened the front door. Yelling Tatum’s name just to make sure he was gone for the day, I relaxed when I heard nothing but the sweet sound of quiet. I scanned the living room for the phone and spotted it sitting on the counter in the kitchen. Reaching for it, I dialed Quinn’s number and held my breath as it rang.

“It’s about damn time,” Quinn answered, and I smiled.

“I know. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Tell me everything,” she insisted.

Leave it to Quinn to not even care how long it had been since we last talked. She wasn’t the type of best friend to hold a grudge like that, and she wasn’t needy. We could go for weeks without speaking, and nothing would feel off. Not that we would ever do that; I just knew that we could.

“Quinn, I’m dying here,” I breathed out before plopping down onto the couch.

“What are you talking about?” she demanded, her tone turning serious. “What’s the matter?”

“Sorry, not in a bad way. This guy. My God.”

“The Tatum one?”

“Yes. The Tatum one,” I repeated as my mind filled with memories of last night.

“Oh my gosh, you little slut! You slept with him, didn’t you?”

“No!” I yelled back, my fingers picking at strands of fabric.

“Well, why not?” she huffed. “Dude, send me a pic of this guy! I’m dying to see him.”

“You’d approve,” I informed her, knowing that Quinn would absolutely think Tatum was worth doing whatever it was I was doing with him. “But listen—” I started to say before she interrupted.

“Me first. Colin’s in town. He’s been asking about you. Tried to talk to Ryson, but he got scared when Ryson started cracking his knuckles and threatened to deck him. Colin ran away. Like literally, ran away.” She laughed and surprisingly, my insides didn’t ache at the mention of Colin’s name.

I was fully aware that not much time had passed since Colin and I had broken up, and that I should still be hurting to hear any news about him. But it was in this moment when something inside me clicked. I realized that Colin now belonged to my past, and that was where he would remain. My future would never include him.

“You still there?”

I cleared my throat. “I’m here. I…I don’t care about Colin. At all. I need to tell you about Tatum. And about all these feelings I’m having.”

“So, quit stalling and tell me then.”

“You’re the one who… Never mind! You don’t understand.” I searched the recesses of my mind, trying to find the right words to explain my Technicolor emotions. “Ugh! Quinn, it’s like if we associated ourselves with colors and how those colors felt, I’d be red. Oh sweet Lord, I’d be red.”

“You’d be what?”

“You know, like that damn Taylor Swift song.”

Quinn hummed the melody to “Red” before saying, “So this guy is like driving a car down a nowhere street? Is that what you’re saying?”

I huffed out a quick laugh. “First of all, that is not how the song goes. At all. Second of all, no. But being around him is like being surrounded by so much color. So much feeling.”

“So much red…he makes you angry?”

I shook my head, not sure if she was teasing or seriously confused. “No. Damn it, Quinn! He makes me feel like I’ve never felt before. It’s intense. He’s intense. But it’s like everything around me bursts into the most vibrant glow when he’s around. He makes me feel red.”

“I still have no clue what you’re talking about, but I like it. Did you ever feel red with Colin?” she asked, mimicking me.

“No. Not like this. Not even close. This makes everything with Colin feel so superficial. I can’t explain it.” I blew out a breath and sank deeper into the cushions on the couch.

“Well, try to explain it in color then. How did Colin make you feel?”

I laughed and blurted out the first color that came to mind. “Pink. Colin made me feel pink. He was light and fluffy, but nowhere near as serious or intense as he’d like to think he is.”

“That’s ’cause Colin’s a pussy,” Quinn blurted out, and I slapped a hand across my own mouth as if I were the one who’d said it.

“Quinn!” I yelled through my fingers.

“What?” She laughed. “He is. You even said it. He makes you feel pink. What kind of man makes you feel pink?” she said pointedly.

“The metrosexual kind, I guess? I don’t know. Think about Ryson.” I paused and she moaned. “See? Ryson makes you feel in color. And I’m sure it’s not pink either.”

“He does make me feel in color. Horny colors. He makes me green! Like an M&M!” she said with a moan.

“Gross.”

“You’re gross.”

“No, you’re gross. Now, stop thinking about green M&Ms and help me!”

“Help you what? Sounds like you’ve got a good thing over there in wherever the hell you are again.”

“It has been a nice break from reality.”

“But you have to come back,” she said, and the truth hit my stomach like a boulder crashing off a cliff.

“I know,” I said sadly as I hugged a throw pillow and tucked it under my chin.

“But not yet. You don’t have to come back right now, Paige.”

“I know that too. But I can’t stay here forever. And then what?”

“Then what, what?” she asked, and I could picture the face she was making in my head. I knew her face was pinched as she tried to read my mind and guess what I was about to say before I said it.

“I mean, what do I do about Tatum? I really like him.”

“Then you enjoy him. Enjoy every cotton-picking minute you have with him. Do they say that there? Cotton-picking?” Quinn amused herself as she continued. “You’ll enjoy him. And you’ll take some damn photos of him for your best friend!”

“You really are no help.”

“Eh. Apparently my superpowers don’t work on you when you’re in another state. Who knew?” A loudspeaker blared in the background and I tensed as I heard Quinn’s name being paged. “I’ve gotta go. Call me later, okay? I love you. Take pictures!”

The line went dead. Quinn was on the set of her newest movie, and I must have caught her during a break in filming her scenes. Thankful that I’d caught her at all, I placed the phone down and brought the pillow to my nose. It smelled like Tatum, and I breathed it in for a moment. Feeling a little foolish, I set it down and got up. I hung up the phone and made my way back to the main house, where Mrs. Montgomery waited for me to make the pie.

On the way back to the house, I stopped on the porch and daydreamed about kissing Tatum. If I thought Tatum had consumed my thoughts before, I was wrong. Every moment I wasn’t around him, I wanted to be. A giant had awakened inside of me. A giant who wanted one thing…Tatum’s mouth.

“Girl, get in here. What are you doing out there?” Mrs. Montgomery called out from the side window, and I coughed, startled by her shouting.

“Be right in,” I called back before heading inside.

Tatum’s mom walked me through the motions of making a pie crust from scratch. She showed me tips and tricks to getting the edges just right, and how to make it perfectly flaky without being dry.

I really enjoyed the process of creating something in this way. It relaxed me. I didn’t cook much back in LA because I didn’t have the time and besides, I rarely ate at home. Doing this forced me to realize just how many meals I ate in restaurants and out of craft service trucks on set.

When I got back, I’d be adding that to the list of things in my life that needed to be changed.