Текст книги "Breaking Stars"

Автор книги: J. Sterling

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Get the Girl

Tatum

Heeding Celeste’s advice, I closed the shop early and headed for home. I needed to have a heart-to-heart with my mother and if I didn’t do it now, I might chicken out completely.

When did you turn into such a pussy, Montgomery?

I took my time walking home, trying to sort out my mind and my heart. It wasn’t clarity that I needed on the two issues that were nothing but clear to me—my future and Paige—it was permission. Realizing how much I needed my mother to be okay with my plans, I walked home with new resolve.

When I stepped through the door, the smell of fresh-baked bread hit me immediately, and my stomach rumbled as my mom greeted me.

“You’re home early,” she said, wiping the flour from her hands on a towel.

Not sure if I was ready for this, I forced a smile. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Her expression turned curious as she waved a hand toward the kitchen table. I moved to sit as she placed a plate of the fresh, hot bread in the center, butter melting off the top. Removing her apron, she tossed it on the counter before joining me at the table.

“What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

Sucking in a long breath to steady my nerves, I realized I had no idea where to begin. “It’s just…I miss her, Mama.” Suddenly at a loss for words, I dropped my gaze and focused on a knot in the wood table.

“So, what are you going to do about it?” she asked.

It wasn’t the response I expected. I thought she’d agree with me or say something similar, but that was it. When she didn’t, my gaze immediately darted up to meet hers. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Tatum, I’ve sat here and watched you give up everything you ever wanted in life. And I’ll admit that when you first stayed home after your daddy died, I was grateful. I’d lost so much and I couldn’t stand losing you too.” She glanced away for a second and wiped at her eyes. Pinning her gaze on me again, her face flushed as she said, “But that was me being selfish. I always figured you’d eventually leave, but you didn’t. And every year that passed, I allowed you to stay.”

“You didn’t make me stay,” I interrupted, but she waved me off.

“I didn’t help you leave, either. I didn’t encourage you to move on and follow your own dreams, did I? I simply allowed you to put your life on hold and stay here. What kind of mother does that?”

I reached across the table and took her warm hand in mine. “Don’t you dare do that. You didn’t force me to do anything I wasn’t willing to do. I’ve never once regretted coming back home, Mama. I want you to know that.”

“But I regret keeping you here for so long,” she said with a sigh.

“You don’t live my life for me. I made these choices,” I said, refusing to let her take all the blame for my still being here.

“I’m trying to tell you that I should have done things differently, Tatum, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Her eyes filled with tears, and I pushed out of my chair and pulled her to her feet.

Hugging her, I whispered against her hair, “Don’t be sorry. Just tell me what to do.”

She sniffed, wiped her tears away, then pushed at my chest and sat back down at the table. Her expression stern, she said, “You don’t give up. You don’t quit. You go get that girl.”

“But I screwed up. I told her to leave. I was mean to her.” I winced as I said the words.

She nodded. “That you did, and that you were. But you’re not above apologizing, are you, son?”

“No, ma’am,” I admitted, because it was the truth.

“Then you go there and you find her. And you apologize to her. Don’t stop apologizing or trying to fix things until she takes you back. You hear me?”

“I hear you,” I answered, my voice unsure.

“Unless that’s not what you want? Unless you don’t want her to forgive you?” she asked as I leaned back into the chair.

“Of course I want her to forgive me. I want to be with her,” I admitted. “But I’m not sure how. We’re so different; our lives are so different.”

A thousand questions filled my mind. Paige forgiving me and wanting to give us a try meant that I’d be living there, or she’d be here, and there was no way in hell I’d allow Paige to give up her career and move here. Not that she ever would.

“That’s something the two of you will figure out. But, Tatum, you’ll hate yourself if you don’t at least give this a try. I may not know much, but that much I know for sure.”

Her lips curled into a sad smile, and I knew she was right. Losing Paige without a fight was something I’d most likely never get over.

I hung my head and let out a sigh. “She probably hates me.”

Mama laid a hand on my shoulder. “She most certainly does not hate you. But I bet you hurt her heart, so she’ll be leery about trusting you with it again. That’s on you to be the man I know you are to fix it.”

“What if it’s not enough?” I asked, worried that nothing I did would make Paige forgive me. What if I couldn’t make her see how stupid I was to let her go? Or worse, what if she didn’t care anymore now that we were apart and she was living her life?

“Whatever you’re telling yourself right now in your head, Tatum, doesn’t matter. I know you have doubts. I know you’re scared, whether you admit it or not, but I have to tell you that I haven’t seen you that happy in years. Maybe ever.”

I nodded; as usual, she was absolutely right. I had never been as happy with anyone as I was with Paige.

“What will we do with the shop? Who will run it while I’m gone?” I started going down the checklist that had formed in my mind.

She waved a hand at me, dismissing my concerns. “I’ll take care of that. You know that someone will step up to help out. Let me worry about those things. I’m tired of you putting your life on pause. I can’t have you doing it anymore.”

“But—”

“But nothing. I don’t want to hear another word about it,” she said as I opened my mouth to argue, and she raised a warning finger at me. “I mean it. Not another word.”

I smiled, but responded anyway. “What will you do while I’m gone?” Leaving the only town I’d truly ever known was hard, but leaving my mom for any length of time since my dad died was a thousand times harder.

My mother gave me a brave smile. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I’m a grown woman. And honestly, I’ve always wanted to see California. Maybe you’ll settle down out there and I’ll come visit,” she suggested, and her face lit up in a way I’d never seen before.

“I’m just going out there to see Paige and try to fix this. That doesn’t mean I’m never coming back here,” I said, my voice stern.

“We’ll see about that,” she said with a grin as a knock on the screen door startled us.

I turned around to see Brina on the porch, clearly dressed to impress and wearing way too much makeup. I groaned, but didn’t move from the table to greet her as my mom cast a glance my way and I shook my head at her.

Mama narrowed her eyes at me in disapproval before pushing out of her chair and giving my ex a friendly smile. “Brina. How lovely to see you,” she said as she stepped toward the door.

“Hi, Emily. I was wondering if I could talk to Tatum for a minute.” Brina tilted her head so that she could see me past my mom’s shoulder.

“What do you want, Brina?” I spat out. I didn’t want her here. I didn’t want Brina anywhere near me after everything she’d done.

My mom walked over to me and whispered, “Maybe she came to apologize. At least give her the chance to do that.”

Without a word, I walked toward the screen door, pushed it open, and stepped out on to the porch.

“Can we walk?” Brina asked.

Waving my hand, I signaled she should lead the way before falling in step beside her.

“So, Paige is gone, huh?” Brina said nonchalantly.

Really? Is that how she’s going to play this?

I stopped and glared at her. “You know damn well she’s gone. You’re the one who called her agent and told him where to find her.”

Her expression changed to shock before quickly turning to anger. “Celeste,” she practically growled.

“What about her? As far as I can tell, Celeste is the most decent person I know here. You, on the other hand—”

Brina jabbed a finger into my chest as her cheeks flamed. “I what? Huh, Tatum? So I got rid of her. You were never going to get back together with me as long as she was still around, so I did what I had to do. Any girl would have done the same thing.”

I saw red. Everything that spewed from this delusional woman’s mouth only fueled my quickly building temper. “Brina, listen to me and listen well. We are never getting back together. You and me? That shit’s old news.”

Putting on a practiced pout, Brina said, “Are you trying to tell me you don’t still love me? Because I don’t believe you.”

Tempted to pull my hair out strand by strand, I leaned toward her, my mouth mere inches from hers as if I were leaning in for a kiss, but I felt nothing but anger. “I don’t love you, haven’t loved you for years. We’re done. We’ve been done. The only reason you’re acting like this is because it’s the first time you’ve seen someone else want me. And not just any someone, but Paige.”

“Oh, please, like that’s going anywhere. She’s gone now, and we can—” She reached out and touched her fingers to my cheek, but I jerked back as if it burned.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Why are you being like this?”

Frustrated at how clueless she was, I spat out, “Are you on drugs? No, seriously, are you on something that makes it impossible for you to live in reality? Have you heard a single word I’ve said?”

Scuffing at the dirt with her boots, she said, “I heard you. I just don’t believe you.” She tilted her head flirtatiously and pulled out the smile that used to do me in every time.

Disgusted, I shook my head. “I don’t know what else to say to you. I don’t want you. I don’t love you. And I think you’re a bad person,” I added with a shrug.

Apparently that shot hit its mark. Brina narrowed her eyes at me as she hooked her hands on her hips. “Oh, right, I’m a bad person because I got rid of my competition. Because I made sure the one person who didn’t belong here in this town left. She wasn’t going to stay anyway, Tatum. God, I did you a favor!”

“The fact that that’s how you justify your behavior speaks volumes about your character, Brina. I don’t know what I ever saw in you.” I raked my gaze up and down her body and knew immediately what I’d seen in her as a kid. Unfortunately for her, that wasn’t enough for me anymore.

“Stop saying that!” Her eyes filled with unshed tears as she looked up at me.

That old trick used to work with me, but not anymore. “I won’t. I don’t want you.”

“What do you want then? You want her?” she spat out.

My breath hitched as I looked Brina straight in the eyes. “Hell yes, I want her. And I was actually on my way to go get her before you interrupted. So I need to go.”

I turned away from Brina’s shocked expression and walked back toward my mom’s house a short distance away.

“It will never work!” she shouted at me as I walked away. “You’ll be back here in a week, begging me to take you back.”

I did my best to ignore her words because they mirrored my worst fears.

“Don’t hold your breath, sweetheart. You’ll die. Guaranteed,” I shouted over my shoulder as I pulled open the screen door with new resolve.

I’d prove them all wrong. Especially myself.

Find Somebody New

Paige

I’d spent the last few days laying low in my apartment, except for the single afternoon and evening I’d spent at my parents’ house. Despite the paparazzi camping out on the street, it was really nice to be home and enjoy the comfort of my supportive family.

My mom had agreed with Quinn about the open letter to my fans on my website, and my sister thought it was the perfect thing to do to reach them directly. She said that they would love reading something like that from the person they admired, so I’d spent half the day writing and rewriting it so it would be perfect. It would be a personal message from me, in my own words, that I could continue to add to if necessary. Or I could just let it stand on its own and be done with the whole situation.

It felt good to take control of my life, to be in charge of my reputation in the public eye. I sat on my bed with my legs crossed, typing away at the laptop on my lap as my mom walked into my room and sat down next to me.

“Have you heard from him?” she asked.

My fingers froze on the keys as I sucked in a breath. At least she was thoughtful enough not to mention his name.

“No.” I turned to her and blinked away the tears that threatened, but that was harder to do considering who I was talking to. Confiding in your mom about things made it that much more emotional. You could be vulnerable with your family in ways you couldn’t with others.

“I’m sorry, honey. I can’t imagine what that boy’s going through with you gone,” she said as she pulled me close and kissed the top of my head.

“What do you mean?”

“I just think that you were probably like a tornado of the best kind, coming into his life and ruffling him all up, and then leaving just as quick as you touched down. He probably doesn’t know what the heck to do with himself.”

“Are you defending him? He pretty much shoved me out the door and into Colin’s arms. It was embarrassing,” I admitted.

“I know, honey. But he’s a man. And they tend to make a lot of mistakes,” she said with a light laugh that only irritated me.

“I don’t want to talk about Tatum right now. I need to focus on fixing my career and everything I’ve worked so hard to build professionally. Then I’ll deal with my heart.”

Mom nodded. “Fair enough. So in that regard, I don’t think you should tell Jayson or Corryn about the letter,” she warned, and I agreed.

“Honestly, I wasn’t planning on it.”

“Good. I’m not sure how I feel about those two anymore.” She frowned, her concern causing wrinkles to form around her eyes and mouth.

“Well, if they know I’m planning on posting this, they’ll try to book me on every entertainment show and website to talk about it. Anything to garner extra attention,” I said, unable to hide my sarcasm.

No way would I let that happen; I wanted to keep Tatum and his town to myself. There were things I was willing to share, but Tatum wasn’t one of them.

“And I’m not sure they’re the best people to have in my corner.” With a sigh, I added, “I honestly don’t know if they ever were.”

Mom gave me a sad look. “I’m so sorry, honey. I feel like I should have taken better care of you, watched out for you more. When your career took off, you had to grow up so fast.” She wrapped one arm around me and squeezed.

Hugging her back, I said, “Mom, you didn’t do anything wrong. I believe that my team should grow with me and want the best for me, but I’m just now realizing that they don’t. We were both duped when it came to Jayson. He’s good at his job. You didn’t know he was like this any more than I did.”

“When’d you get so smart, huh?” she asked with a smile.

I grinned back at her. “Probably at birth. I come from good stock, after all.”

My phone vibrated, and I glanced down to see Madison Myers flashing on my caller ID.

Scrunching my face in apology, I said, “I need to take this. It’s Madison Myers. She’s an agent.” I pushed up from my bed and closed the door after Mom slipped out. “Hello?”

“Paige, it’s Madison Myers,” she breathed out, her voice instantly soothing me.

“Hey, Madison, how are you?”

She laughed. “I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about.”

I shuddered. “Oh. The tabloids, you mean? It’s not true.” My shoulders slumped forward as I realized that everyone who ever knew me in this town probably believed what was being reported about me.

“Oh, please. I know it’s not true,” she said, her confidence in me breaking me out of my funk.

“You do?”

“Of course I do. I don’t believe any of that crap, especially not about you. What a joke. I was just calling to make sure that you were okay and to see if you needed anything.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. Why? Paige, are you all right? Jayson and your people are handling this for you, aren’t they? I mean, I know Jayson’s a complete dickwad, but he wouldn’t hang you out to dry like this.”

I remembered when Madison used to work for Jayson as his assistant. That was before she told him off and walked out of the job. She eventually landed her own agent role at the Warren Taylor Agency with the help of her super-hot singer boyfriend, Walker Rhodes.

“Paige? Hello?”

“Sorry, I’m here. No. No, he’s not helping. Madison, do you think I could come see you?” I glanced around my bedroom for my shoes and purse.

“Of course. You want to come to the office, or do you want me to come over? Or would you rather we meet somewhere?”

“I’ll come to you. I’m at my parents’ house, so it might take me a few minutes to get there.”

“Okay. You coming now?”

“If that’s all right.”

“Of course it’s all right. I’ll see you soon.”

I pressed the End button and pushed my feet into a pair of sandals, slipped my sunglasses onto my head, and headed out of my bedroom. My mom sat in the kitchen drinking what was most likely tea from a steaming mug.

“Leaving already?”

“I’m going to go see Madison and talk to her about everything that’s going on.” I leaned down and gave my mom a quick squeeze.

“You trust her?”

I nodded. “I do, actually. A lot.”

“That’s good. Call me after. I want to hear all about it.”

“I will. Thanks, Mom. I love you,” I said with a smile as I walked toward the front door.

“Love you too.”

The paparazzi that had camped outside followed me again all the way to the Warren Taylor offices, but stopped short of entering the underground parking. This wasn’t front-page news, but my visiting an agency that didn’t currently represent me would make headlines. I speculated about the news reaching Jayson before I ever talked to him.

The elevator doors opened, and I walked through a set of glass doors and into the spacious lobby area.

“Miss Lockwood.” A young receptionist greeted me by name as I entered. “Miss Myers is expecting you. If you’ll follow me.” She unplugged her headset from her phone and led me around a white column where the offices opened up.

As I walked down the long hallway, I experienced a nostalgia from a time I wasn’t a part of. Old black-and-white head shots of celebrities from days past lined the walls, evoking eras that felt more like eons ago than decades. I couldn’t believe how many stars had been associated with this company, and pride filled me at my merely being in their presence, even if it was only in photographs. As we walked, I scanned the walls that seemed to be divided by era, the photographs eventually transitioning from black and white to color as they became more recent.

Waving a hand toward an open door, she smiled. “Right in there,” she said before walking away.

I stepped through the doorway into an outer office, where an assistant looked up from her computer screen. “Hi, Miss Lockwood—”

“Please. Call me Paige.”

She smiled and nodded before peeking through the open doorway behind her into what I assumed was Madison’s office. “Paige Lockwood is here to see you, Miss Myers.”

“Ooh, send her in.” Madison’s voice rose in pitch, and I laughed softly to myself.

I turned to her assistant and thanked her before entering the office. The door closed behind me, and I glanced back before turning around to see Madison walking toward me. She engulfed me in a friendly hug, and I almost broke down right then and there at her genuine and unexpected affection.

“It’s so good to see you,” she said. “And I love your hair. It looks great!” She smiled as she reached out to touch a shoulder-length strand.

“Thanks. It’s good to see you too. Nice office.” I looked past her desk and through the floor-to-ceiling windows at the busy street below. The paint was white but with the faintest hint of blue that had a calming effect.

“Isn’t it ridiculous in here? I feel so out of place half the time with my one whopping client and all.” She waved a hand toward the space on her wall dedicated to Walker Rhodes. Walker wasn’t only the hottest singing-sensation-turned-actor in the United States; he was also her boyfriend.

“I bet he loves all the one-on-one attention.” I smiled at his framed head shot on her wall.

“Oh yes, he’s quite a handful, that one. I’ll probably ditch him soon,” she lied with a playful grin.

“I would,” I teased her. “You know how those celebrities can be. And forget even trying to date them.”

We both laughed before Madison’s expression grew serious. “Paige, what’s going on? Why are there all these false reports about where you’ve been, and why is no one putting a stop to them? I find it hard to believe that you were in rehab, had an abortion, or tried to kill yourself.”

“Well, at least one person knows the truth.”

She sucked in a quick breath. “Look, usually I might suggest you ride this out, wait until a bigger story comes along and takes the spotlight off of you. But for now I don’t see that happening, and as long as you continue to ignore it and not say anything about it, you’re only fueling the fire.”

“What am I supposed to say? That I left town and drove until my car got a flat, and I fell in love with some guy and didn’t want to come back?”

Madison fell back into her chair. “Is that what happened?”

“Pretty much.”

“Sounds like a book I read recently,” she said with a smile.

“Sounds like a cliché. My God, my life is such a cliché.” I rolled my eyes at the ceiling, thinking about how often I’d thought that about myself lately.

“That’s how clichés get made. Because they’re true,” she said sagely.

My mind made up, I plopped down into her guest chair and announced, “Madison, I want to hire you to represent me.”

She instantly sat up and pushed her shoulders back. “Really?”

“Yes. I’m going to fire Jayson, but only if you say you’ll take me on.”

“I have to check with my bosses, but I bet they’ll be thrilled. Are you sure you want me? I’m still really new and learning a lot.”

“Madison, I trust you. And I firmly believe that you’ll have my career and what’s best for me at heart. Walker said you’re good when it comes to things like that.”

Her cheeks flushed as I mentioned her boyfriend talking about her. “He said that? When did you talk to him?”

“I called him on the drive over here to ask how things were here for you, and if you loved what you were doing. He said you were the best thing to ever happen to his career, and that he’d still feel that way even if he wasn’t in love with you.”

She fanned herself as if all this information was far too much. “He’s lying. He definitely thinks I’m more amazing because I give him sex.”

“Probably,” I said with a smirk. “But I still want you to be my agent, and you don’t have to give me sex like you do him.” We both broke out into laughter at that, and when the giggles died, I gave her a serious look and said, “If you say no, I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Pushing away from her desk, she rose to her feet. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.”

I smiled and checked my e-mails and text messages while I waited for her to return. It had been almost a week since I left Tatum, and still no word from him. I had half expected an apology, or at least some sort of communication from him. How could he be perfectly fine without me when I had to work hard to hold it together without him?

Madison walked back into the office with a giant smile and an older gray-haired gentleman in tow. “Paige, this is my boss, Gerald Taylor. Mr. Taylor, this is Paige Lockwood.”

I extended my hand and he gripped it tightly, surprising me as I said, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too. You’re kind of a big deal, you know, young lady,” he said teasingly, and I blushed. “Madison says you’d like to come on board, and I wanted to be the first to welcome you to our agency. You’re in good hands with Miss Myers.”

“Thank you so much. I’m really excited to have her on my team.”

After his personal welcome, Gerald Taylor excused himself, leaving me alone with Madison.

Catching her eye, I smiled and said, “Guess I’d better go fire Jayson.”

She grinned back at me. “And then I can e-mail you the contracts to sign. This is going to be awesome, Paige.”

“I seriously feel a thousand pounds lighter already. Oh, I wanted to ask you something.”

“As your new agent, or as a friend?” she asked before sitting back down at her oversized desk.

“Agent,” I answered.

“Shoot.”

“I was thinking about writing an open letter to my fans about what really happened and posting it exclusively on my website. People will still have questions, and the media will most likely still want interviews with me, but I wanted to tell my story in a way that I could control it.”

Madison nodded. “I think that’s a great idea, honestly. I love it. Send me the final draft before you post it?”

“Absolutely. Oh, and one more thing.” I paused as she lifted her eyebrows at me, signaling for me to continue. “I want to fire Corryn as well. She’s my manager, and I believe she has my best interests at heart about as much as Jayson does. Do you think I’d be okay with only an agent for now?”

I could practically see the wheels turning in Madison’s head as she mulled it over. A moment passed before she said carefully, “That’s entirely up to you. But if you’re looking to head in a new direction for a while, I don’t see what your manager would handle that I couldn’t. I mean, in the grand scheme of things it’s a manager’s job to look out for you and plan your future, your roles, where you’re headed, and what you want to do going forward. But those are all things that I’m interested in as well when it comes to my clients.” Gazing at me with hope in her eyes, she said, “I’d like to think that until I’m proved wrong, I could sort of bridge that gap and play both roles.”

Comfort immediately filled me, and I smiled. “I think it’s worth a shot. Thank you, Madison. For everything. Give Walker a kiss for me,” I said with a wink as I stood up to leave.

I chuckled under my breath, happy that things were finally falling into place, and proud of myself for being the one to make them happen.

“Will do. And, Paige?” she called after me.

I paused at the doorway and turned to face her.

“One day I want to hear all about this broken-down town and this guy, okay?”

I gave her another smile, trying to hide the sadness that filled me at the realization that my time with Tatum now only existed in memories.

“Okay.” Unable to resist glancing down at my phone again, I noticed that he still hadn’t called or texted.

That was fine. I’d be fine.

I had to be.

• • •

Back in the solitude of my too-quiet apartment, I picked up my phone and dialed Jayson’s number.

“Paige, why were you at Warren Taylor’s?” he yelled instead of answering with a normal greeting. “What the hell is going on?”

“I’m about to tell you,” I said evenly, forcing myself to stay strong.

He groaned. “What is it?”

“You’re fired.”

“Excuse me?” he shrieked.

“I’m pretty sure you heard me,” I said firmly, my inner confidence growing and building upon itself. “My lawyer has sent you an e-mail asking to terminate our business relationship effective immediately.”

He breathed harshly into the phone line, and knowing what was coming, I pulled it from my ear.

“I made you what you are, Paige! Good luck getting any work in this town again! You think that Madison, my assistant,” he added snidely, “can do anything for you? What a fucking joke! You’re both a pair of idiots. Idiots who will be out of work by the time next pilot season rolls around,” he screamed before hanging up.

Instead of feeling nervous or worried with his threats, I instantly felt relieved. My shoulders lightened as the load I subconsciously carried lessened.

Dialing Corryn while I was still brimming with confidence, I listened as the phone beeped each time it rang, signaling that she was on the other line. When her voice mail clicked on, I left a message.

“Hi, Corryn, this is Paige. As of today, I will no longer be requiring your services. You should have an e-mail detailing our termination clause in your in-box from my lawyer. Thank you for your time and help over the years. I wish you the best.” And with that, I ended the call and danced in my living room, freedom filling me from the inside out.

After my five-second dance party, I pulled open my laptop to read over the draft of my open letter one last time before sending it to Madison for review. I attached it to a quick e-mail telling her that I was officially on the market for a new agent, and asking if she knew anyone who wanted to represent me.

I giggled, amazed at my ability to be and feel silly with all the chaos that constantly hounded me. In a way I felt like a new person, with my new short hairstyle that I chose for myself, and my professional chains cut free.

Dear Fans, [Madison, I hate calling them fans—it seems too snobby and rude. How else can I address them that makes them feel more appreciated?]

There has been a lot of speculation about where I’ve been the past few weeks. Since returning to town, I’ve been bombarded with accusations and unkind words, brutal reminders of the reality of this business that I otherwise normally love. I’ll admit that part of me wanted to say nothing and hope it would all go away on its own. But the rest of me really wanted to set the record straight.

You have no idea how hard it is to read such utter lies about yourself printed everywhere for everyone to read. Worse than the made-up stories is the fact that people believe them…a lot of people. And that’s why I’m here, writing this letter to you now. I needed to talk to you the way friends do, and I wanted to be the one to do it—not a publicist or an agent or manager, but me.

It’s not an exciting story, to be honest. The truth is that I needed to get away in the wake of everything that was going on around me. I’m human, just like you, and sometimes I want to escape from my problems and disappear for a while. And frankly, that’s exactly what I tried to do (in the form of leaving town, that is, not in the form of rehab, drug overdose, alcohol binges, or any other of the made-up excuses). I realize that being a twenty-one-year-old actress is nothing to complain about, and believe me when I tell you that I’m not complaining. But please understand that choosing this life means that I miss out on so many of the amazing things that you all get to do and experience every single day.