Текст книги "Just To Be With You"

Автор книги: Bella Andre

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

CHAPTER TWELVE

All Wednesday afternoon after they’d gone back to Ian’s office, and then Thursday while they went on an extensive tour of the massive physical warehouse facilities in which he was considering an investment, Tatiana’s brain had been spinning as she tried to figure things out, both regarding Ian and her new role.

She’d meant it when she said she was no good at holding things in. She had always been passionate about what she was working on, and once she’d tapped the well of inspiration and passion for acting, she’d never even considered turning it off. Her sister had made more than one worried comment over the years about her putting in long hours and so much emotional commitment to her roles. Tatiana wanted to please Valentina, who had always been more of a mother to her than a sister, but even for Val she couldn’t change who she was.

All or nothing.

Go big or go home.

And no matter how high, or how risky, the stakes were, give her all and her best.

It shouldn’t be much of a surprise to anyone, then, that she had gone and fallen in love with a man who absolutely, positively refused to let himself do the same.

Since the previous Friday when she’d stumbled into his arms, how many times had he deliberately kept his distance, making certain not to touch her with even the barest brush of their fingers or legs against each other? Only yesterday when she’d been talking to him about losing her father had he forgotten to keep that space between them.

The only thing she knew for sure was that she wanted Ian and he wanted her. Yesterday in her kitchen, he hadn’t denied their attraction the way other men might have, because he wasn’t a man who lied. Ever.

Immediately, she’d discounted playing the seductress. Not only because she wasn’t sure she knew how, but also because she respected Ian too much to trick him like that. If and when they finally came together, she wanted it to happen on honest ground, and to know that they were both all the way in.

As for her new role, while she’d learned a heck of a lot already about how to successfully run a company from watching Ian—he was shockingly hands-on, tough but fair, and made sure to surround himself with brilliant, friendly people who always kept their eye on the ball—she was still lost. Seeing the way Serena had dived straight down into her character when they’d done the short read-through of Smith’s script the previous day had only highlighted how screwed Tatiana was.

Good thing the director and producer weren’t asking her to do a read-through right now, because it would be a total mess.

She didn’t realize her private emotions were spilling out of her until Brian, the owner of the warehousing company, turned to her and said, “Is everything okay? You didn’t step on something sharp, did you?” He looked around the concrete floor, clearly worried.

Belatedly realizing the little frustrated scream hadn’t remained in her head, she forced her lips up into what she hoped looked like a real smile. “No, I’m fine.”

When Ian looked concerned as well, she said, “I didn’t mean to interrupt. Please, just forget I’m here.”

“Actually,” Brian said, “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but I’m pretty sure my employees would love a chance to get a few autographs, if it would be okay with you.”

“Of course I don’t mind. I just don’t want to get in your way.”

Ian’s eyes went dark as he looked at her. “You’ve never been in anyone’s way, Tatiana.” He nodded over to the group of workers who were sitting in the nearby break room. “We have plenty of time for you to go and make everyone’s day.”

Brian took her over and she signed autographs and took pictures and just plain had a great time chatting with everyone. It was so nice to get out of her head for a little while that she was shocked when she looked up at the clock on the wall and realized just how long she’d been at it.

“Ian, I’m sorry,” she said as she pushed back from the plastic table. “I’ve thrown off your schedule.”

“Like I said before, we’re fine.” He gestured behind him to a little girl and her mother who were walking toward them from the parking lot. “Besides, I think you’ve got a couple more people to say hello to before we head out.”

Did he have any idea how sweet he was? She wanted so badly to reach out to him and feel again what she’d felt so strongly yesterday when they’d had their arms around each other in her kitchen.

Instead, she walked toward the little girl with big brown eyes and knelt in front of her. “Hi, what’s your name?”

“Keely.”

“Oooh, I love your name, Keely.”

“I was watching you on TV last night. You’re famous.”

Tatiana laughed. “I guess so. But you’re the one with the awesome shoes that light up. Can you make them sparkle again?”

As the little girl danced around, though Tatiana wasn’t anywhere close to having kids yet, she couldn’t deny the little tug in her heart.

“If it wouldn’t be too much to ask,” her mother said, “could I take a picture of you together?”

“Absolutely, but only if you take one for me on my phone, too.” Tatiana reached into her bag for it, but by the time she came up empty, Ian was already holding his out.

“I’ll take it with mine, Tatiana,” he said, having clearly guessed that she’d forgotten it somewhere.

Because he knew her.

Tatiana and Keely posed for pictures, first with big smiles, and then making silly faces. After hugging both the little girl and her mother, Tatiana waved good-bye to everyone, then headed for Ian’s town car.

“We’ll need to head to my place rather than my office for my next meeting,” Ian explained, “because I need my video conferencing software. Given the way traffic is looking right now, my home office is at least fifteen minutes closer. And,” he said, holding up a hand before she could apologize for making them so late, “I would have asked you to leave your fans if I’d wanted to. But you were making them happy—and they were making you happy, too. So I didn’t want to ask you to leave.”

Seeing Ian’s house would be another window into the man she’d fallen head over heels for. And maybe, she thought with renewed hope after what he’d just said to her about liking to see her happy, it would give her new clues into how to get closer to the heart he always made sure to guard so carefully.

The building he lived in was cool and polished, everything classy and top-of-the-line, from the high-tech elevator controls to the crisply pressed uniform on the doorman who called Ian sir and her miss.

She could tell Ian was preoccupied with what he was missing in the meeting that had started without him, so when he let them inside and offered to get her a drink, she waved him away. “Go dial in. I’ll come find you once I’ve found drinks for both of us.”

He looked undecided for a moment, and she had to wonder if it was because he was afraid she was going to find something he’d kept hidden from everyone else. But then, when his cell phone rang again, he said, “My home office is the door just beyond the living room.”

She’d joked about snooping in his office the day she’d come to ask if she could shadow him, but she hadn’t actually done it. Now, however, she couldn’t stop herself from looking all around his penthouse condo with great curiosity.

Last Friday, Ian Sullivan had been an attractive man she’d been hoping to get to know better, and to set off some sparks with. One week later, though he was still impossibly gorgeous, he was so much more to her than just a sexy man who made her tingly all over.

She’d known he was committed to his family, but until she’d seen him interact closely with his sister, his parents, and his brothers at dinner, she hadn’t realized just how much they meant to him. Everything. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for them. Plus, his company had great maternity and paternity benefits, and then there was all the time and effort he was putting into the Seattle Family Foundation fundraising event, when she knew firsthand that time was precisely what he didn’t have, and it would have been so much easier just to write a check.

Why had he lived in London for so many years when he’d obviously missed his family as much as they’d missed him?

What’s more, instead of ruthlessly directing an executive staff from on high, Ian got right in there with them and was hands-on with each part of the massive business he ran. Somehow, he always managed to find the time, and the energy, for everything he did. How did he make it all look so easy?

As for his ex-wife, Tatiana wasn’t surprised that he’d been drawn to the other woman’s beauty. But, given how horribly Chelsea behaved toward him, why did he obviously blame himself for the marriage not holding together?

Ian was a mystery that she couldn’t stop wanting to solve.

Of course, a big part of her hoped that if she did, then maybe she could also figure out how to get him to give their attraction a chance to blossom into something more. But more than that—even if he never let himself fall for her the way she’d already fallen for him—she wanted to see him smile, to hear him laugh...and to know that he was happy.

Truly happy, with or without her.

As Tatiana walked into his living room, she immediately noticed several touches that she guessed had come from the women in his family who loved him. A quilted throw over his couch that looked like it had been made by his cousin Chase’s wife, Chloe. A beautifully sculpted bowl displayed on the center of the coffee table that was obviously one of Vicki Bennett’s creations. The first-edition leather-bound classics that his librarian cousin Sophie had likely helped him find through her contacts in the book world. And, of course, a big new box of chocolates that Brooke must have given him as a gift to welcome him back to Seattle.

The finely crafted miniature ship on the mantel above his fireplace was so unique she had to take a closer look, and was amazed when she saw Dylan’s name scrawled on the base in black ink. She knew he built full-size sailboats, but she hadn’t realized he was just as skilled with models. A few prints were hanging on the walls, each of them drawings of historic Seattle houses. Something told her it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to assume that they were a few of the homes Ian’s brother Adam had brought back to life.

Yes, Ian’s penthouse condo had high ceilings and floor-to-ceiling windows. There was the requisite Sub-Zero refrigerator/freezer and marble countertops. If you didn’t look any closer, it might seem like the typical CEO domain.

But Tatiana knew that there was nothing impersonal about it. Not at all.

Because he’d surrounded himself with pieces of the people he loved in every corner of his home.

Maybe, she suddenly thought, Ian wasn’t nearly the mystery he seemed. Because when family was at the heart of everything a man was, surely he’d soon realize that he wanted the same thing for himself.

Wouldn’t he?

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Ian felt that they had both made a valiant effort to keep things from being awkward as Tatiana continued to shadow him after the scene with his ex-wife. It was a particularly busy couple of days for him at the office, between plans for the big new acquisition, and the fundraiser less than thirty-six hours away. Too busy for them to have time to talk more about almost-kisses, or for her to offer him any more hugs. And he was glad for it.

Or, rather, he should have been glad.

The problem was that even though Tatiana had made more than good on her promise to stay out of the way while she shadowed him, trying to concentrate on work with her nearby hadn’t gotten any easier. She was careful to remain quiet and unobtrusive while he held his meetings, and yet the whole time he was on his conference calls and in video meetings, he could sense her intelligent and perceptive eyes on him. He could smell the vanilla of her shampoo. And he could feel the innate sensual heat of her radiating out to him even from across a large conference room.

He had always been a man who was attuned to and aware of beautiful women, and there wasn’t a person alive who would question Tatiana’s stunning beauty. But even that wasn’t an excuse for the way he continually reacted to her presence. At thirty-eight, Ian had more than enough physical self-control to keep from getting a hard-on around a woman just because she had a pretty face and a knockout figure.

Except when it came to Tatiana.

She’d been so fun, so open, so damned beautiful when she’d been hanging out with her fans at the warehouse a short while ago. And when he’d seen her laugh and play with the little girl who had been so in awe of her...well, Ian wasn’t made entirely of stone, even if his ex had said more than once that he was.

One day, Tatiana was going to make someone a great wife, and she was going to be a beautiful mother, too. He just hoped like hell that the guy she ended up choosing would be worth it and be good enough for her.

His brothers, and his single cousins out in Maine and New York, were among the only guys on the planet who might be good enough for her. And yet the thought of her with any of them made his gut clench tight, then tighter still.

Again and again, he found his gaze drifting to where she sat on the leather seat in his home office, her head bent over her notebook, her pen moving steadily across the page. He wondered what she thought of where he lived, if she thought his neat and tidy living room was impersonal and cold compared to the well-lived-in mess of hers. Did she think he was a hard-ass? Did she find his intense business focus boring?

And did she have even the faintest clue that it was taking absolutely every ounce of self-control he possessed not to lift her into his arms, carry her to his bed just down the hall from his home office, and take her?

Damn it, he thought with a hard shake of his head as Larry, his vice president stationed in Japan, formally thanked everyone for attending the meeting. Ian needed to keep his mind on business, if for no other reason than to keep it out of the gutter.

He shut down the conferencing system and looked up to find Tatiana staring at him, her gaze unfocused. Her ponytail had come partway free and several thick tendrils of hair softly curled around her face. Her mouth was slick and pink as if she’d been licking it.

Sweet Lord, how he wanted her. He wanted to taste her wet lips, wanted to grasp her curves in his hands and drag her against him and just take and take and take.

The ringing of his private cell phone yanked him from his utterly inappropriate thoughts. He looked down and saw that it was his cousin Smith calling. Guilt hit him square in the chest again, as though Smith had caught him red-handed mentally stripping away her clothes. Figuring it must be another question about Serena for Tatiana, he picked up and said, “Do you need to talk to Tatiana again?”

“I do. Is she with you?”

“She is.” Ian got up and came around his desk to give her the phone. “It’s Smith.”

After saying hello, she frowned at whatever Smith said. “No, I didn’t get any of your messages. I left my cell phone at home again. At least,” she said with a small smile for Ian, “I hope that’s where it is. What’s up? Do you want to chat more about Serena?”

A moment later, she shot up from the couch, her eyes wide with shock. When she looked up at Ian, her breath was coming faster and her skin had flushed a deep rose. “Wait a second, Smith, I think I need you to say that again so I can be sure I heard you right.”

Both her voice and her hands were shaking by then, and Ian instantly grew worried. Had something happened to her sister or mother? Or was Smith delivering other bad news?

Just as he had yesterday when they were in her kitchen, Ian didn’t think twice about his urge to comfort her. He simply moved closer so that he could put his hands on her waist to steady her. And, for the moment at least, what he felt for her didn’t have anything to do with sex...it was simply about taking care of someone who had come to matter a great deal to him.

He felt her react to his touch with an instant answer of heat through her silk dress at the exact same moment that she looked up at him with eyes that seemed to cut straight through to his soul, her beautiful mouth opening slightly in surprise.

“Ohmygod.” She was vibrating beneath Ian’s palms as she said to Smith, “Yes, that’s a good idea, a really good idea. I’ll call you back once I’ve had a little time to process the news.”

Ian was trying to figure out her contradictory signals—she was shaking and yet her entire expression seemed to be lit with excitement—when she suddenly tossed the phone onto the couch and threw her arms around his neck.

As she hugged him so tightly that he finally felt every single one of her luscious curves against him, Ian knew in the space of a heartbeat that no other woman had ever fit this well in his arms.

And that he never wanted to let her go.

But then she was moving to take his hands in hers and twirling around in the middle of his office, laughing. Watching her was like watching sunlight stream through a multifaceted crystal, shooting off light and bright color and vibrant life everywhere it spun. He’d never known another woman who was this open with her emotions, who didn’t seem to realize that she had to protect herself or else she’d get hurt.

Just the thought of anyone or anything hurting her had his chest clenching tight. He pulled her to a stop in mid-twirl.

He couldn’t understand her, and Ian made it a point to understand everything that was a part of his world. It was the only way to make sure he knew exactly how to play all his cards correctly. But worse than not being able to understand Tatiana was the fact that he couldn’t understand himself whenever she was around. She threw off his perfectly ordered schedule and made him feel vulnerable in ways that he’d vowed never to be again.

And, still, he wanted her with a desperation that stunned him.

“You were shaking when Smith first spoke to you and I thought something bad had happened. But now you’re laughing. Tell me what he said, Tatiana.”

“It wasn’t bad news. It was great news. Shocking news.”

She laughed again, and he wanted to shake her for not telling him what the news was already. But even more than that, he wished he could laugh with her, wished he were the kind of man who could pull her back into his arms and dance with her without knowing better than to give a woman such easy affection.

“I just can’t believe it,” she finally added.

“Believe what?” His question came out rougher, and louder, than he’d intended, but at least it seemed to startle her into realizing that she hadn’t yet told him the news. “I still don’t know what happened.”

She gripped his hands even more tightly and he honestly didn’t think she had a clue that she’d put them between her breasts as she finally told him, “Smith was nominated for an Oscar this morning. And so was I.” She pressed in even closer to his hands, as if only he had the power to help slow the incredibly rapid beating of her heart.“For Best Actress,” she whispered.

Her happiness was such a living, breathing thing between them that all Ian knew in that moment was that he would do anything he could, give everything he had, to keep her looking like this. Which was why it was the most natural thing in the world to say, “I’m so proud of you,” then pull her back into his arms and swing her around and around while she laughed again.

Her cheeks were flushed as she looked up at him, and he had to stroke her face, had to get closer to the brightest, warmest sunlight he’d felt in a very, very long time.

She was still laughing when she pressed her mouth to his. A kiss of pure happiness, pure joy. Stunned by the beauty, the sweetness of her unexpected kiss, he didn’t even have a chance to kiss her back by the time she pulled away.

Her eyes were wide with surprise, and when she looked at him, and said, “Oh my God, I just kissed you,” he knew for sure that nothing about the kiss had been planned. She had simply been so happy, so excited, so expressive in her joy, that hugging him, dancing with him, even kissing him, was the way she’d needed to express herself.

Just as he now needed—more than anything he’d ever needed in his life—to crush her mouth to his again. He could still taste her joy in their second kiss, but within the span of several heartbeats, desire and desperate need quickly edged their way in.

With Tatiana in his arms and her mouth pressed against his, Ian momentarily forgot all the rules, all the restrictions he’d put on his life and his heart. He couldn’t do anything but feel, couldn’t stop himself from taking another kiss, and then another and another, dragging her closer with each one, falling deeper under her spell with every breath he stole from her lungs, with every gasp of pleasure she made against his lips.

He’d known it would be like this with her, hadn’t he? So powerfully sensual, and so addictive as she opened for him so that he could stroke his tongue against hers and she could taste him just as intimately.

On and on their kiss went, her response utterly unrestrained, but it wasn’t until he heard her moaning softly against his mouth that he realized his hands had slid up from her waist to cup her breasts, her nipples pebbling against his thumbs as he stroked her.

What the hell was he doing?

And now that they’d kissed, now that he knew just how good they could be together, how could he possibly go back?

Ian tried to think straight. Tried to remember all the reasons why they shouldn’t do this, even as she told him, “I’ve never wanted anyone, or anything, as much as I want you, Ian.”

And in that moment, when it felt to Ian as though everything he’d ever wanted was right there in front of him, even though he knew better, he simply didn’t have it in him to move away from her.

But despite the hungry way she’d kissed him, he also instinctively knew that for all the lovers she’d already had, none could have needed her as badly as he did...or would demand as much of her unfettered sensuality as he would. Grasping at straws now, he decided the only chance—and the very last one—that he had of getting them to stop this madness before it slid all the way out of their control, would be if he could scare her with the force, the depth, the wildness of his need.

He slid his hand around to the nape of her neck, then fisted his hands in her hair and roughly tilted back her head so that he could scrape his stubble across the sensitive skin of her neck. “If you don’t leave right now,” he warned her in a voice made harsh with the inner conflict that rode him, “there’s no going back.”

“I don’t want to go back. Not now.” She shivered against him. “Not ever.”

“I won’t be gentle.” He had one last chance to try to do whatever he could to get her to run, because he sure as hell couldn’t figure out a way to let her go. “If you stay, I’m going to take what I want from you, Tatiana. Everything I want. Everything you’ve been offering to me since the moment we met.”

But instead of running, all she said was, “Yes.” And then again, even more emphatically, “Yes. I don’t want gentle. I just want you.”

And then she lifted her mouth to his again...and he was lost.