Текст книги "Fear Us"

Автор книги: B. B. Reid

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

SHELDON

I READ THE words of the letter for what seemed like the hundredth time.

I did it.

After four years of wanting to pull my eyeballs through my skull by my hair, I’d accomplished what I set out to do. Medical school was calling my name.

Worry tried to worm its way through, but I wouldn’t let the stress of the past few weeks or my future obstacles as a med student and single mother ruin this moment.

I needed to call someone.

Eric surprisingly popped in my head, but after Keenan had beaten him to a pulp in front of a restaurant full of people, including his parents, he made it clear I wasn’t to contact him, especially after I told him about Kennedy.

Apparently, his parents had a certain image preset for him that my baggage and I would tarnish. And so ended a one-year relationship that would have never developed past the limit I had set of my own.

I was even more grateful that I never slept with him.

I never even had the urge.

It was time to for me to make Kennedy’s lunch so I checked on her first. It was a full-time job keeping her out of mischief. For the first time, she took the initiative to actually draw on paper instead of the walls or furniture. Her head was bent and her face serious with concentration as she doodled. I was beginning to believe that drawing was something she loved to do like her father.

Don’t think about him, Sheldon.

Don’t think about how he hadn’t called nor had he stayed.

Nope. He went back to California to his tattoo shop and high-rise apartment and… Di.

I wondered if they ever had sex or if their friendship had been completely platonic.

There was something about her that didn’t meet the eye. I didn’t know if it was good or bad, but I knew she was more than she showed the world. Maybe it was why I didn’t trust her.

Or maybe I was just jealous.

After all, she had been in his life for the last four years when I hadn’t.

Did he realize he loved her and that was why he never came back?

More often than not, I wondered if he ever thought about us.

It was hard for me not to think of him or what he had done for me. He had risked his life for me in the craziest of ways. Not only had I heard about it, but also some punk kid had the gall to videotape it and upload it to YouTube.

Now every vagina around the world and woman with girlish dreams wanted him. And all I wanted to do was to stake my claim and forget how I turned him away after surviving the crash.

I half expected and half hoped he would threaten and stake his own claim, but instead, he walked away from us quietly.

Was it unreasonable for me to hate him for it?

“Kennedy, it’s time for lunch,” I shouted over the thunder that had suddenly broken through the sky. A quick peek through the windows showed torrential rains pouring onto the street below.

“Mama, it’s raining now. Can I go play?” I smiled and like always, shook my head. I think Kennedy was the only child ever who didn’t understand that rainstorms were not for playing in. My little daredevil barely noticed a sunny day.

“We talked about this, Ken.” I set her plate full of square-cut peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in front of her just as a hard knock sounded on the door.

I debated answering because I wasn’t expecting anyone. After Kennedy had been kidnapped with no leads to who was responsible, I was being extra cautious.

When I picked up the large kitchen knife on the way to the door, I realized that paranoid might have been a better term.

Keenan and Keiran had suspected my father, but after damn near interrogating him, they laid it to rest. My father’s only crime had been his carelessness and putting business before his grandchild.

Greg and Vick had approached my father with false credentials as private investigators after ‘hearing about her kidnapping’ on the news. It had been a long shot, but one they lucked out on after his men had already been placed on another assignment concerning a business deal in Germany that my father had been cultivating for a very long time.

The only question now was who hired them to impersonate private investigators. We already knew why. Someone out there wanted Keiran dead bad enough to kidnap an innocent child, and without a name, he was still in danger along with Kennedy.

“Just a second,” I called when the knocking continued, becoming louder with each knock. I opened the door and stared at the person on the other side in surprise.

I wasn’t expecting him.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes, I’m here to install your new cable and internet service.” A middle-aged man in faded jeans and even more faded t-shirt with the cable company’s logo stood with a smile. I quickly slid the knife down my sleep shorts and pasted a smile.

“I didn’t schedule for a cable installation.”

The man frowned and then looked down at the tablet he carried. “Are you Sandy Chaplin? Apartment 203?”

“No, I’m sorry. That apartment is around the corner and two doors down.”

“My apologies. Have a great day.” He ambled off and I closed the door feeling silly. I had just made it back to the kitchen when the knocking returned. This time I left the knife.

I assumed the technician might have gotten lost again so my smile was ready when I opened the door. The person standing on the other side of the door this time swept my smile away.

My brain screamed at me to close the door and pretend it never happened, but I stood transfixed.

Keenan stood on the other side with his head down, drenched in rainwater. His white t-shirt was plastered to his muscular chest making his tattoos visible while his jeans hung off his hips in the way that I liked so much.

“Are you going to let me in or continue to eye fuck me,” he smirked. Instead of waiting for an answer, he took my hand and stepped inside, closing the door behind us. All the while, I stood with my mouth agape.

He’s really here.

“What—um… what are you doing here?” I had to clear my throat multiple times to speak intelligibly. I glanced toward the kitchen nervously and debated kicking him out. I didn’t want Kennedy to see him if he wasn’t here to stay…

What was I thinking? Did I want him to stay?

Kennedy had been depressed over Keenan’s disappearance and had only just stopped asking for him. For the longest time, she’d cry herself to sleep, and I didn’t understand even though I wanted to cry with her. She had only known him for a weekend.

Love didn’t kindle that fast, did it?

I felt like a hypocrite for even thinking it. Keenan and I had fallen fast and hard for each other. Why couldn’t the same be for father and daughter?

“A good friend of mine reminded me that I wasn’t fulfilling my promises. I realized that every promise I made, since I walked away from you four years ago, involved you. Even the promise I had made to my father before he died.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you and Kennedy and the very permanent fact that the two of you still own me.”

My head swam with the possibilities of what he could mean. “I don’t speak in riddles, Keenan. Why are you here?”

He ran his hands through his already spiky hair and blew out a breath. “I’m here because I want to beg… if you’ll let me.”

He seemed at a loss for words so I asked, “What do you want to beg for?”

“For you and my kid.”

I took a step back, letting my hand slide from his tight grip. Surprisingly, he let me go although he flinched from the loss of contact. “Are you actually asking for another chance?”

“No.”

“Oh…”

“I’m asking for you to save my life because with every breath in my body, I love you. I’ll love you until my last. Without you, I am no longer someone with a reason to live.”

“I’d like to believe that, but I can’t. You have a problem that I can’t overlook anymore. I can’t spend the rest of my life worrying that one day you’ll find the woman who is not only worth betraying me for, but is also worth breaking my heart forever.”

His eyes became desperate and frustration lined his features.

“I was filling a void created by my parents. I was invisible before you. I was unwanted and unloved. I lived that way until I found a way to fill it, even if they were only temporary fixes. I was an addict but not in the way that you think. I craved the attention and the intimacy I never had and was too stupid to realize the gift you gave me was far more precious. I wasn’t worthy of you, but you filled the void. And then, somehow, this image of my mother walking away from me forever became you. I was scared, Shelly. I was terrified that you would one day realize I was unworthy and leave so I found a way to fight the insecurity while holding on to you. It made me feel like I was in control, and that no matter what, someone would want me.”

“So I was replaceable.”

“No!” he shouted and I glanced nervously toward the kitchen. He lowered his voice and said, “Not replaceable. You were unobtainable.”

“But you had me.”

“I had my mother once too, and then I lost her.”

“So what makes you think it will be better now?”

“Because I realize my mother and father made their choices, but their choices didn’t have to reflect mine. I’m not afraid to love you anymore.”

“You didn’t even love me enough to fight for me. Instead, you ran away the first time I hurt you when I forgave you each time you broke my heart. I risked everything to be with you—my self-respect, my sanity, and my heart—and now you’re asking me to risk it all again?”

“If the risk means my surrender, then this…” He kneeled and my heart ricocheted around my chest. “This, Shelly, is me surrendering to you.”

“I, uh… what?”

“Princess,” he shouted. “Could you come here, please?”

Tiny footsteps sounded, but I was still frozen to the spot to react. “Keenan!” Kennedy ran into sight and launched herself into Keenan’s arms.

“I missed you,” he whispered to her.

She clung to his neck until he sat her on his knee. “Baby girl, I have a confession to make that you may not understand, but I need to do it anyway. Are you listening?”

She nodded and he cleared his throat.

“Four years ago, I hurt your mother really bad in more ways than one.” Kennedy seemed to understand because her face fell, but she continued to listen.

“I thought I could protect her from a really bad lady by doing something that I knew would break her heart. I took the chance to keep her father from taking her away from me because the bad lady knew we were naughty kids.”

He grinned at the last, and I cleared my throat.

“Anyway, the bad lady video recorded us with her phone when we did a naughty thing at school and threatened to show her father along with the whole world if I didn’t do what she wanted. She also threatened to fail her if I said no and failing meant your mother would have to go somewhere far away from me to finish school. I made a deal with the devil, and although I saved your mother from the bad lady, I lost her, too. I was selfish, Princess, and I took your mother for granted, but if you can forgive me, I promise to spend the rest of my life never taking her for granted again.”

He looked up from Kennedy to meet my gaze. “Can you forgive me, baby?”

I don’t know how long we gazed into each other’s eyes before Kennedy stood up from her father’s lap to stand in front of me. “Keenan sorry, mama.”

“You little traitor,” I whispered to her before a smile broke free. I felt my tears but ignored them because there was something I needed to say. “I’ll forgive you on one condition.” He looked wary but told me to name it without hesitation. “You tell Kennedy that you’re her father, and you better have a ring somewhere on you because we aren’t accepting anything less than your full commitment.”

His boyish smile that I recognized from so long ago broke free as he stuck his hand in his pocket and produced not one but two rings. “Princess, come here.” She turned to him and he took her left hand. “Kennedy Sophia Chambers, will you accept me as your father?”

Kennedy nodded with her gaze transfixed on the ring that looked like a real diamond although tiny to fit her finger. I suppressed the urge to scold him for buying a three-year-old a ring that no doubt cost a lot of money. He slid the ring on her tiny finger, and to my surprise, it fit. He grumbled something about changing her last name before turning to me.

That was the moment I began to feel my heart beating against my chest a little too hard. “Sheldon Chambers, will you do me the honor of accepting my surrender to you and being my wife?”

* * * * *

TWO MONTHS LATER

“Let me see the ring! Let me see the ring!” Lake pushed aside everyone in her way to get to me. Seriously, someone would have to speak about what we started to call her Keiran Tendencies. We were currently having a barbecue in our backyard to celebrate their return from Hawaii.

She gushed and cooed over my engagement ring before she started crying. “I knew he was likely to stop being a coward.”

Everyone in the vicinity laughed except for Keenan, who pouted. He could still be such a baby. There were days when Ken was more of an adult.

“So when is the wedding?”

“November 24th. Two days before Thanksgiving.”

“I’m so happy for you, I could just cry.”

“I think you already are…?” Keiran remarked, earning an elbow to the gut. He rolled his eyes and began to nibble on her neck, and just like that, I was forgotten. I had to clear my throat to get their attention again.

“Do you guys ever use a bedroom?” More than once, I had walked in on them during their spring break. It was right after Kennedy was born, and the first time I had walked in on them going at it on the kitchen counter. Granted, it was his home but still…

“Keenan, get your fiancée out of my sex life,” Keiran replied. “Someone might think you can’t please your woman.”

Laughter surrounded us, and though I was the brunt of the joke, I was elated to see them trying once more. They still tiptoed around each other, but some of the tension had dissipated. Their bond started to reconnect at John’s funeral shortly after his death. I had attended despite my decision to stay away from Keenan because I couldn’t bring myself to not be there. There were days when Keenan would come across something of John’s and a dark cloud had taken residence while I waited him out, and like always, he’d come back to me.

“Shelly, can I talk to you in private?” Without waiting for a response, he took my elbow and steered me into his childhood home that was now ours.

“If you are dragging me off for sex, I told you there is a waiting period. We just did it on the washer an hour before the barbecue started.”

“I found the letter,” he said once he shut the door to our bedroom.

“Huh?”

“The college acceptance letter to Stanford. I found it hidden in your panty drawer.”

“What were you doing in my panty drawer?”

“That’s not the point. Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“Because I’ve decided not to go.”

“Say what?”

“I decided not to go. Stanford is in California.”

“I’m well aware of where it is. What I don’t get is why you threw away this opportunity?”

“Because our life is here in Six Forks.”

“No, Shelly, our life is where ever we are as long as we are together.” He shook his head, and I felt like a scolded child. “I’m disappointed in you.”

Now I was the one to pout. “What do you want me to say, Keenan? It’s too late.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. Early admission is coming. I’ve already collected everything you need. Tonight, before you even think about having me between your thighs, I want you to start on it and make whatever preparations you need to.”

“Don’t I get a say in this?”

“You already had your say, now it’s my turn.”

“But I like it here.”

In truth, I didn’t know why I was objecting. Medical school was what I wanted ever since Kennedy had her first episode. To some people, it may not have been a reason to decide the path I would take, but I never wanted to feel that helpless again, and not only could I help Kennedy but other sick children. I could make a greater difference than being a fashion model.

“We can return in a few years when you’re done, and Kennedy will have access to a beach anytime she wants.”

Kennedy was insatiable when it came to the beach. Anytime she saw water, she was asking to go to the beach. Bath time was a real treat.

“What are we going to do about the house?”

“It’s paid for and it’s ours. It’s not going anywhere.”

“Are you really willing to do this for me?”

“Ask me that again and I’ll spank your ass.”

“I just—”

“Sheldon.”

“Sheldon? Since when do you call me Sheldon?”

“Since you started asking to be bent over my knee.”

My body answered to his statement long before I could. “Instead of your knee, maybe you could tie me to the bed again.” I lifted my dress over my head, revealing my naked body underneath. “Remember how we conceived Ken?”

“Fuck yeah, I remember.” His voice had turned husky and his eyes darkened with the need to fuck. “Get the belt.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

KEENAN

I watched Shelly do as I ordered with a teasing smile on her lips and thought about how, for the rest of my life, I would get to see that smile every day.

I’d never felt so fucking needed than I did when I was with her and Ken.

All my life I had been searching for feeble attention when all this time I had been granted a love that was just for me.

And though our love may have been broken, it was still ours.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

IT’S NOT OVER…

“So who is the poor soul who suffered this unfortunate fate, and more importantly, who did he piss off?”

“Mitch Masters. Age forty-eight. No wife or kids to speak of. The family is an unclear subject. His brother, John Masters, admitted him to the facility, but was also murdered a few months ago and no leads have been found for that either.”

The detective circled the crime scene carefully, but when his gaze landed on all the blood on the wall, he looked away and studied the body instead. “So his eyes were open?”

“Yeah. The poor bastard saw his death coming.”

The bloody mess on the walls was hard to stomach, but this time, the detective didn’t look away immediately.

Written in crimson red, were the words, ‘For John.’

“I think we just found our lead.”

BUT WHAT ABOUT…

Who was behind Kennedy’s kidnapping?

Who killed Mitch?

Who was Keenan’s father?

Where is Willow?

…and more.

 

The series continues so stay tuned for an important announcement.

INTERVIEW WITH KEENAN

If you could have a phone conversation with Keenan, what would you say?

Nualla DaSilva: What were you really feeling when Sheldon didn't come see you?

Keenan: The one thing I had left to live for walked away. I felt like death.

Lauren Stryker: You need to make up with your brother!!

Keenan: If it’s meant to be, it will be.

Rachel Campbell: How dare you be pissed at Sheldon not being there for you after you humiliated her over and over by screwing around.

Keenan: I’m a man, baby. What can I say?

Maria Williams: Why do you always cheat on Sheldon? What has she ever done to you??

Keenan: She loved me. Big fucking mistake there.

Tanya Lock: Keep it in your bloody pants. Then you wouldn't keep getting yourself in trouble.

Keenan: If only I knew this sooner! ;-)

Sammi Darby: I would tell him to not lose sight of himself just because he's hurt and angry.

Keenan: Damn, girl. That’s deep.

Feena Don: Put Keiran on please!

Keenan: Sorry, he’s busy sniffing Lake’s ass.

Lisa P. Kane: WTF is your problem? Suck it up and move on.

Keenan: Damn it, Lisa. I’m marrying her, aren’t I?

Heather Marie: Do you really love Sheldon?

Keenan: If I didn’t, then proposing was a big mistake!

Eve Nesselrotte: Find your dad and make him pay!!

Keenan: Looks like someone already did… Did you read the book or were you dozing? LOL

Jenifer Robare: Why didn't you just tell her you had feelings for her, good ones and bad ones—at least as you guys started getting older.

Keenan: You mean, every time I put out, I wasn’t expressing my feelings? Son of a bitch!

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

First to my loving, stubborn FAMILY, who puts up with my absence and never finding the time to come home. Thank you for all the support and encouragement. Although I found out the hard way that none of you could keep a secret, I still appreciate the pride you have for me.

DEVEN: You are both the person holding the gun to my head to get the book done and the one keeping me from getting anything done. Thank you for putting up with side effects of dating an author.

TIERA & KANESHA: Thank you for listening to me talk endlessly about writing and my books and the encouragement.

My COLLEAGUES AT C.R.: Thank you as well for putting up with the days I come in half-motivated and half-asleep. Albert, you’re still the best boss ever.

1ST PLATOON: I am not Fifty Shades.

MASTERS: Without you ladies, who would know about me? Ladies, you’re either up at the crack of dawn pimping or up before me. Thank you for all your laughter, support, and love. I’d be lost without you.

ROGENA & AMI: Thank you so much for the flexibility and putting up with my insecurities. Most importantly, thank you for treating me like a friend and not just a client.

TWISTED SISTERS, CRAZYBOOK_LOVERS, THREE CHICKS, and every blog/book group who ever gave me the time day: A big thank you for all the features, teasers, and promotions. You name it, you did it.

LYDIA, ADRIENNE, TIFFANY, & KATIE: I can always count on you guys for a laugh or helping hand when I need it. Love you guys.

DI: Thank you for being my inspiration for DI. Thank you for giving me the time of day. Thank you for being my confidante in everything dark. Thank you for being a friend.

JOSI, ASHLEIGH, MARY: Ladies, thank you for being a friend in this industry and for all the support. You ladies have shown that authors don’t have to belittle one another if you just believe in your craft.