Текст книги "Fear Us"

Автор книги: B. B. Reid

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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

KEENAN

AFTER THE CONFRONTATION with Shelly, the beach was the last place I wanted to be. If I followed my instincts to be a bastard, I would have taken her somewhere private where I could enact just how she would stay mine. But Kennedy called to me. After only just meeting her, I couldn’t stay away.

How could someone so innocent possess that kind of control with little effort?

“What took you guys so long?” Lake questioned with suspicion in her tone. She glanced over at Sheldon before turning narrowed eyes toward me.

Sheldon chose to remain silent so I spoke up. “We got confused about the direction we were going, but we straightened it out.” It was a hidden meaning that only Sheldon seemed to catch judging by the look she sent me.

“Mommy!” Kennedy ran full speed through the lobby of the resort while the rest followed. For the first time since unlocking Sheldon from the trunk, a smile graced her lips as she stooped just in time to catch Kennedy. “We go to the beach now?”

“Mommy just needs to put on her bathing suit, and then we can go, okay?”

Kennedy got a disgruntled look on her face and then peered down at her empty wrist as if checking the time. Her little head popped up and a flash of mischief appeared just before she said, “Mama come naked like the shower!”

Now there’s an idea.

I couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled up inside, spilling out until it filled the lobby. Everyone, including Sheldon followed while Kennedy looked on in confusion before joining. Once I was back in control, I scooped down next to Sheldon.

“I think that’s a great idea, Kennedy, but your mother may not be allowed on the beach if she isn’t dressed properly. What do you say your aunt and uncles take you, and we come find you when we’re done?”

“Can Uncle Keke come, too?”

“Who?” I looked to Sheldon for help.

“Keiran. She can’t say his name well, so Lake got her to call him that. I think he is still making her pay for it.”

“Of course he can. In fact, he’s going to hold your hand all the way there. Sound good?”

She nodded enthusiastically, but somehow, I knew she wasn’t satisfied when she didn’t immediately take off. Keiran came forth and picked her up, but before he could walk away, she asked, “Are you coming, too?”

The worried look on her face as if she were afraid to lose me gave me pause. At that moment, I wanted to promise her the entire world with none of the bad if she wished for it.

“I wouldn’t miss it,” I promised.

Once everyone cleared the lobby, I placed my hand at Sheldon’s back and led her to the front desk. “I have a reservation for three.”

After giving the clerk my information, he handed me a set of keys. I clamped a hand around Sheldon’s arm and steered her toward the elevators.

“Please tell me those are keys for two rooms.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because Kennedy and I need our own room.”

“You both are staying with me.” The elevator doors opened, and thankfully, no one was around to enter with us. I could feel my temper spiking.

“I’m not putting my daughter in a room to sleep with a stranger.”

I’d lost the fight. My hand was around her throat, and I’d forced her back until she was trapped in the corner. I could only hope there weren’t cameras.

“I’m not a stranger to her anymore. I’m her father. A fact she will be told tonight.” The pressure I applied prevented her from responding, which was the safest route.

Only when the doors opened, did I release her. I struggled internally with myself. The old me may have lived a forged lie, but I never would have touched her that way, and even now, I felt sick with myself.

Once again, I placed my hand on the small of her back with an ease that belied the brute force a few moments ago.

“The only way to survive is to hurt those against you before they can hurt you, and if they succeed, you welcome the pain and make them pay.”

Back then, Keiran’s advice had only made me afraid, but now it gave me purpose. I hardened my resolve by reminding myself that this wasn’t a fairytale. This was just the beginning of her imprisonment to me.

* * * * *

Sheldon had not breathed a word and still looked a little shell-shocked since the incident in the elevator, but I was determined not to feel guilt.

When we made it to the beach, Keiran and Lake were nowhere to be found. Dash was laid out in the sun reading a book while every girl on the beach watched on with sultry fascination. I looked around for Kennedy and found her splashing in the water with Q and Jesse. Q was attempting to teach her to surf, in shallow water no less, while Jesse watched. Amusement poured through my senses erasing all the tension from the past few hours.

“Three-year-olds don’t surf, dude.” Jesse deadpanned.

“This isn’t just any three-year-old. Isn’t that right, rugrat?” A spark of jealousy flowed through me at the realization that everyone seemed to have a relationship with Kennedy except for me.

“Mama… Keenan, look!” Kennedy struggled to stand even with Q’s hands holding her, but when she finally succeeded, the brightest smile appeared. Sheldon wasted no time running into the water, creating a splash while I ogled her lush frame in the two-piece. Motherhood had done her body well.

For a few hours of beach fun and the happiness of my daughter, I let go of the past and my plans for the future. I taught Kennedy the basics of swimming and used it as an opportunity to bond. I was amazed at her passion for the water at such a young age.

Keiran and Lake materialized after we had exhausted ourselves in the water. The guilty blush that heated her cheeks and his smug smirk provided a detailed description of what they had been doing for the past few hours.

“Nice of you two to join us finally, but I’m hungry,” Dash announced.

“Why didn’t you get one of the women who can’t stop staring at your crotch to get you some food?”

“Because then they would expect me to put out, and my mother taught me that what’s inside my cookie jar is precious.”

“That was me, idiot.” Sheldon rolled her eyes as she toweled off Kennedy.

“Since Keenan abandoned us to live out here, why doesn’t he pick a place?”

I sent Dash a look to fuck off and packed up the bag that Sheldon had packed for Kennedy. “I don’t live around here so I wouldn’t know.”

I turned to Sheldon just in time to see the play of emotions on her face before she covered it up with a blank expression. Could it have been the reminder that I left or that I’d created another life? When we began our trek back up to the resort, I shrugged it off. Whatever we were before now no longer mattered.

Back at the resort, we agreed to meet in an hour for dinner before going our separate ways. “Are the three of you in the same room together?” Lake asked after the rest had left. Her expression turned down into disapproval.

“Yes, we are.”

“But you haven’t told Kennedy,” she continued while looking between the two of us. “Won’t that confuse her?”

“Believe me, I’ve tried to tell him,” Sheldon griped.

Kennedy was already half asleep on my shoulder and wasn’t likely to notice anything, but I saw Lake’s point even though the last thing I wanted was to agree with her. I struggled to gain leverage and looked toward Keiran for help, silently communicating with him.

“We’ll take Kennedy since we’re already showered.” He lifted her from my arms and took a hold of Lake’s elbow, steering her down the hall.

Sheldon watched them walk the short distance to their room before angrily jamming the keycard into the lock. After about three unsuccessful attempts, I brushed her aside and opened the door.

“I’ll shower first so I can get Kennedy ready,” was all she said before disappearing into the large bathroom and slamming the door. The walls vibrated from the force of her anger causing the gold framed artwork to rattle on the walls.

I waited until I heard the shower run before I stripped away my swimming trunks and followed after her. It had been torture watching her glisten as she played in the sun and water and not be able to touch her. I figured since she was mine, I may as well indulge.

When I stepped inside the bathroom, steam was already beginning to form, but I could still make out her silhouette in the large shower stall made for two. I took a moment to admire her naked frame through the glass door before opening it.

She jumped and let out a low gasp before her amber eyes turned dark with anger. “Get out.”

“No.”

It was all I could muster before I gave in to the lust pounding through my veins straight down to my dick. I sealed any further protests by sticking my tongue as far down her throat as I could get, and surprisingly, she took me.

I soon learned, however, that the pleasure of her surrender didn’t come without a little pain. She raked her nails down my chest. I flinched at the same moment my cock surged to life, becoming harder than before.

When I finally let my lips drift down to her neck, she whispered, “I can’t seem to deny you and more terrifying is that I don’t want to, even though this is all we’ll ever have. I hope it’s enough for you.”

“Shelly, I’ll never get enough.” I lifted my head to meet her eyes. “So I guess I’ll have to keep fucking you.” I lifted her leg and hooked it around my hip so I could enter her slowly. I couldn’t stop until I was seated inside her fully, and I loved the flash of pain in her eyes just before she surrendered to the pleasure.

“Keenan, you fill me so full,” she moaned just before her eyes fluttered closed.

“And you still own me, baby. Fuck you.” My hips slammed into her until it became frenzied fucking. Her gasps and moans were so guttural that I could feel them travel up my own spine until it eventually came out through my throat with a grunt. “It’s never been like this,” I growled against her neck before biting down onto it. I wanted to hurt her more than I wanted to breathe, so I bit down harder until she cried out for mercy.

It was too bad I had none to give.

Blood rushed through my body heightening my need. I found myself yanking her up higher around my waist, but when that wasn’t enough, I anchored her against the shower for my cock to have its tortured way with her.

Her pussy sucked me even deeper even when her little whimpers begged me to slow down.

“Keenan!”

Her scream made my cock twitch inside her. I fucking loved my name on her lips, and I’d give anything to keep it there.

“Don’t ask me to stop, baby. I can’t.” I tightened my arms around her and gave her the friction she needed to propel her over the edge and straight into orgasmic bliss. Just as she started to come down, I pushed deeper inside her body for my release.

“You can’t come… inside me… again,” she panted. I released her and turned away.

“Aren’t you on birth control?”

“No, I’m not.”

I took the time to grab soap and lather before responding. “We’ll schedule an appointment when we get back.”

“That’s all you have to say?” she snapped and snatched the soap from my hand. “What if I get pregnant again?”

“Then I’ll be here for you.” Even to my own ears, it sounded more like a threat than a supportive gesture.

“That won’t happen. You ruined my life once. I won’t let you do it again.”

“Are you saying my daughter ruined your life?”

“Yes—no. I’m saying you ruined my life. Kennedy is the best thing that ever happened to me. I just wish you weren’t a part of her.”

The ferocity at which her statement hit me caused my self-control to explode. I ripped open the shower door and dragged her out behind me—soapy skin and all. She didn’t attempt to get away, and so I was able to easily sit her on the marble vanity.

“Spread your legs.”

I don’t know if it was the tone of my voice, the scowl on my face, or the possibility of another mind-blowing orgasm, but she spread her legs without argument, and I quickly gave her every inch of me inside her pussy while swallowing her cries.

“I’m going to make you regret that.”

* * * * *

An hour had passed a long time ago I realized when I checked my phone and saw a message from  Keiran stating that they took Kennedy out to eat along with an address to the restaurant.

“Are we done fighting for the day?” she asked. Her voice was hoarse and weak from hard sex and sleep. I didn’t notice when she began to trace my chest with her fingers. Over four years, I collected tattoos on my chest as a way to forget the night my entire life became a lie, and I started living in the nightmare instead. Each tattoo, all of them meaningless except for one, covered the six bullet wounds I carried from that night. I would always hear how I was lucky to be alive though I felt far from lucky.

“They’re gone,” I stated harsher than I meant, but I constantly found myself in a state of frustration when it came to her.

“No. It’s here…” She kissed the spot near my lungs before moving on and making her way up my chest. “And here…” She pressed another lingering kiss over the spot where my heart lay. I felt a drop of moisture and looked down to see another tear escape. “They will never be gone. Tattoos won’t fix the pain. It’s so much deeper than your skin.”

She looked up and met my gaze once more, but this time she held it. “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re searching for something.”

“Because I am.”

“And what are you searching for?”

“Him.”

“Him?”

“The boy I fell in love with.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I’ve wanted to tell him for a long time now that I still love him.”

My ears rang with the force of my heart pounding in my chest. I searched for sincerity or for a sign that it could still be a lie.

She still loved me?

No... Not me.

Him.

“What?”

“I want him to come back. If not for me, then for Kennedy.”

“He was cocky, arrogant, spoiled, and unfaithful, remember?” Her opinion of me would forever remain in my memory. I didn’t have the right to feel hurt over it. I’d more than earned it.

“Yes, but he also followed his conscience and loved with his heart on his sleeve. He would have given his life for me rather than threaten to take mine in more ways than one. He left because deep down he couldn’t let me go any other way, so he did what he could to set me free.”

She trailed her finger to a specific spot on my chest just below my heart. Caged in between the broken vines were the words—A broken love can still last forever so long as you carry the pieces close to your heart.

“I forgave him years ago, and I carried the pieces too, waiting for him to come back, but he never did. I had to learn to live without him.”

She looked up at me with so much hope and love that I had no choice but to let her go and leave the bed. In truth, I was at a loss for words. I quickly gathered my clothes to dress and headed for the bathroom. The door closed, but not in time for me to miss the sound of her cry.

* * * * *

When we arrived, the restaurant was alive with locals and tourists. The bar was already crowded and every table seemed to be filled. I quickly spotted our party seated at a table in the back and led Sheldon by the hand, much to her chagrin.

“Nice of you to join us,” Dash greeted sarcastically.

“You really need to find a girl so you can stop acting like such a cock block,” Keiran remarked.

“Keiran!” Shelly scolded as she took her seat on Kennedy’s right. I took the seat on Kennedy’s left and reached for the waiting glass of water.

“I’m not cock-blocking. I’m hungry.”

“Uncle Keke, what’s that?”

“Shit.”

“Oooh, mama. Uncle said a bad word.”

“Congratulations, douchebag. You have officially corrupted our niece.”

“What’s a doo?”

“You’re both dumbasses.” Q laughed.

“Dumb ass!” Kennedy repeated and then laughed outrageously.

“For fuck sake, everyone stop talking before you all corrupt my daughter.” Everyone at the table grew quiet at my outburst including Kennedy. Sheldon’s gasp was audible, but I had eyes only for Kennedy and her for me though hers were rounded with wonder. I wondered if she could understand what had just happened. I chewed on my bottom lip wondering what I should do next.

“What’s fuck?”

Everyone burst out laughing.

“Kennedy, that is a bad word that little girls should not say and neither should grown-ups when in the presence of a sweet little girl like you. I am so sorry.”

She nodded and turned her attention back to eating her chicken tenders as if nothing had happened. When she dipped a chicken tender, I noticed she had ketchup and honey mustard mixed together just as I do.

“We ordered for her so she wouldn’t have to wait for you to finish bumping uglies like the rest of us,” Dash griped once again.

“You are suffering from serious blue balls, my man.”

We ordered and conversation flowed easily for the rest of dinner. I learned a lot of what had taken place in my absence.

Sheldon was scheduled to graduate with a pre-medical degree next Saturday. She wanted to study to be a pediatrician. This was news to me given that she’d always wanted to be a fashion model. I had a feeling that Kennedy had something to do with that.

Keiran was studying for a degree in computer science. That gave me the longest pause. He had received an athletic scholarship to play basketball for Arizona so I knew obtaining a degree was a part of that deal, but I hadn’t expected him to choose something that didn’t involve sports.

Lake was studying for a degree in education. Her plan was to become an elementary school teacher specializing in learning disabilities.

Dash studied business while playing ball at Arizona much to the displeasure of his father who preferred his heir and only son to attend an ivy league or more specifically his alma mater. He was already beginning to take over business operations from his father.

Quentin had joined the army straight out of high school when he claimed college life wasn’t for him and a little structure and violence never hurt anyone. Jesse surprisingly hadn’t although he was raised in a military family. Everyone expected him to simply follow in his father’s footsteps but instead chose to work with them instead.

It seemed that everyone had taken great steps and moved forward while I still felt as if I were standing still.

“So where’s Willow? Was anyone ever going to bring her up?”

“On that note, I think I have to use the gentlemen’s room,” Jesse coughed.

“Willow is, um… well, she…”

“She went to Nebraska and we haven’t seen or heard from her since.”

I made a point to glance over at Dash, who sat glowering at the tabletop. “So she is literally the one that got away, huh? I guess charm and money doesn’t work on everyone.”

“What’s your problem?” Dash said finally looking up.

“You are. You’re stupid.”

“And that makes you?”

“Cocky, arrogant, spoiled, and unfaithful. Did I get it right, Shelly?”

“Yes, but I believe I forgot one. You’re also a coward.” She pushed away from the table and stood up from her chair. “Lake, can you look after Kennedy?” She didn’t wait for an answer before walking away. I tracked her movements until she disappeared inside the ladies room.

“If you want her back, you’re going about it the wrong way,” Keiran stated.

“Are you supposed to be an expert?”

Instead of answering he turned to Lake. “Baby, do you love me?”

“Yes. Do you love me?”

“Forever,” he whispered softly. His hard gaze shot to me. “See? It’s that simple.”

“Is it?”

“It is. You just have to be smart enough to realize it before it’s too late.”

“How about we take Kennedy with us and put her to bed so you and Sheldon can have some alone time?” Lake offered.

I wasn’t going to argue with that possibility.

“Kennedy?”

“Yes, Keenan?” I had to swallow the urge to tell her that I was her father for the umpteenth time before speaking.

“Your aunt and uncles are going to take you back so you can get some sleep. Your mother and I will be right behind you to tuck you in.”

“Come on, you little juvenile delinquent. Let’s see how much trouble we can get in before bedtime.” Keiran scooped her up and tossed her over his shoulder much to her delight. Her squeals of excitement echoed through the restaurant as he led the rest of them out.

It took me another moment to realize that they’d all left me to pay the bill. As I was fishing out my credit card, Sheldon emerged from the restroom. Even from here, I could see how red and puffy her eyes were.

“Shelly?”

My ears began ringing from the sound of some prick calling my girl by the nickname I gave her when we were in love. Sheldon had been on her way back from the restroom, with me clocking her every step when this blond, frat-looking guy approached her. When his fingers slid around her waist and pulled her close for a kiss, I was out of my seat and closing in fast. Her back was to me so she didn’t see me approach them.

“Eric? How—what are you doing here?”

“I’m having lunch with my parents. I told you I’m from this area. Are you okay? I’ve been calling and looking for you everywhere.”

“I’m fine. I’ve just been going through a really tough time with the stress of finals and medical school admissions.”

“You’re still coming to the graduation, right?”

“I’m not sure, and I’ll tell you all about it later, but I have to get back.”

“There’s no need to rush off, Shelly. Everyone left. So who’s your friend?”

Her complexion noticeably paled at the sound of my voice invading their intimate moment. I schooled my face into a complacent expression, but judging by the way she was shaking, she already knew it was an act.

I warned her of what would happen if I found out she had lied. I knew she had been lying to me. She’d forgotten just how well I knew her. I also knew one day I’d come face to face with the guy she thought she could use to forget about me.

“I’m her boyfriend. Are you a friend of the family?”

“No, I’m the father of her child, and the man she’ll be fucking for the rest of her life… however long that might be.” I made sure to make eye contact with her when I said the last. “So now that we are all clear about the role in her life, I’m going to have to ask you to remove your fingers from her body before I break each one of them.”

“Shelly, who is this guy?”

I snapped and I wasn’t even sorry for it. Screams rent the air after I knocked the frat boy on his ass and made quick work of bashing his face in.

“Keenan, please!” Sheldon screamed, but I heeded to none of it. Visions of the two of them together assaulted me and each blow to his face and body was my way of beating them away.

“You’re killing him. Please stop.” She tugged on my shoulders, and with each desperate attempt to stop me, her strength grew until I could no longer ignore the scene I had created.

The black fog slowly lifted, and when I stood to my feet, I grabbed her hand and walked her back to our table as if nothing had happened. I switched from card to cash to pay the bill and led her out of the restaurant, blatantly ignoring the bloody mess that was left by her boyfriend and the man who might have gotten her killed by the end of the night.