Текст книги "Fear Us"
Автор книги: B. B. Reid
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Текущая страница: 3 (всего у книги 16 страниц)
God, she’s only three.
It wasn’t supposed to be time. I parked and took a deep breath before I turned to the back seat to face her. “Ken, your father is—”
I stopped short when I noticed an extremely large man, wearing all black in the middle of summer, hunched over and peering into the car window where my daughter sat. She silently stared back as her body tensed.
“Who the fuck are you?” I screamed though the windows were closed.
When his hand reached for the door handle I scrambled to hit the lock button which was when I noticed a second man, equally dressed in black, standing next to my door with a handgun pointed directly at my head in the middle of broad daylight.
“If you so much as bat a fucking eyelash, I will blow your brain through your ears, got me?”
“Mommy!”
“Kennedy!” Ignoring the warning, I whipped around to see my daughter fighting the large gnarly hands lifting her out of her car seat. “Take your hands off my daughter!”
Everything happened fast. Too fast. And the worse part was I didn’t even know why. I screamed for help, but nothing came. Not the sound of my voice or a good Samaritan.
Only pain.
The last thing I remembered was the ringing of my ears drowning out my daughter’s screams for me.
CHAPTER FOUR
KEENAN
“KEEP YOUR ASS still, Lacy.” Or was it Lucy?
“I can’t,” she whined and wiggled her ass. “It hurts.”
I suppressed the temptation to shove her off my table and instead, pressed the needle deeper into her skin. Her hiss of pain was music to my ears, and even now, I could feel my dick hardening.
There were two types of people when it came to pain. Those who received it and those who gifted it.
Let’s just say, I’ve become one generous motherfucker.
“Still¸” I ordered again, this time lower and deeper, letting her know I was serious, “or get the fuck off my table.”
She murmured an apology and managed to keep still while I finished up the last of the large butterfly tattoo, stereotypical of women who failed to realize when it had gotten old. Normally, I would have turned her away, but the desperate need for a distraction called for desperate measures.
“Five-hundred,” I ordered after wrapping up her tat. “Pay up and get out.”
A tattoo as easy as hers wouldn’t cost nearly as much as I was charging, but I was in that kind of mood.
She made a small pout but wisely, didn’t argue. She knew better than that. The reputation I’d built up over the last four years preceded me.
“Don’t worry. I left you a little extra ass candy.”
“Really?” she squealed. The stupid bitch actually turned, hoping to see her tattoo. Fucking airheads.
“Listen, Lucy—”
“Lacy.”
“I have shit to do and you’re holding me up.” I snapped my fingers for the money, ready to toss her out on the street with or without the money.
“Oh, um…”
I peered down at her and felt my jaw clench. “Fucking A. You don’t have the money, do you?”
“Not—not quite that much.”
“How… much?”
“Two.”
“Leave the money on the table and get out. Don’t come back.” I was already turning away, expecting her to be gone sooner rather than later.”
“Oh, wait! I know.”
You have no fucking idea.
I kept moving to my back office with her on my heels. My mood only darkened when I sat behind the large mahogany desk, and she followed me to her knees.
“Last chance. Leave,” I warned.
“But don’t you want me to pay you first?” She ran her hands up my legs and even with my jeans separating us, my body ran cold. “I’ve got something better than money,” she purred.
“Oh, yeah?” I ran my fingers through her hair. “What’s that?”
“Let me show you,” she replied as she attempted to unbuckle my belt. My hands stopped her as I leaned forward.
“You want to suck?” She licked her lips and dropped her head forward, but my hand suddenly in her hair stopped her as I used her hair as a leash. “I asked you a fucking question.”
“Yes. I want to suck.”
I let my smile take over my features, which seemed to bring her ease. “Well, then suck you shall. But it won’t be my dick.”
“You want me to suck someone else?”
I suppressed the urge to shake my head. These Hollywood sluts have little shame.
“I want you to stick those pouty little lips,” I pointed to where the pipe stuck out from the wall, “on that rusty pipe over there.”
“What?”
“Now. Suck that pipe, Lacy. Make it feel good.”
“But I could get sick,” she whined.
“I simply don’t give a fuck. I gave you the chance to leave.” When she continued to hesitate, I lost the last bit of patience I had. “Do it or I make you, and I can’t guarantee you’ll still have all your teeth when I’m through.”
She stood to her feet and crossed the room to the pipe. I watched her long enough to see her lower to her knees before picking up my cell. When the voice on the other end spoke, I wasted no time digging in her ass. “What did I tell you about sending your slut bucket friends to my shop and promising them a discount?”
“Isn’t that like the pot calling the kettle black?”
“Come again?”
“If anyone is a slut, it’s you… King Slut.”
I sat back in my desk chair feeling more annoyed with each second that passed... “Where did you hear this?”
“During my recent short but pleasurable stay in the lovely town of Six Forks.”
“I haven’t been there in four years, Di.”
“Yes, but apparently, you’re a legend because the ladies still curse your very existence and your dick.”
“Well, maybe it’s time I stop sending you there. I pay you to get useful information, not gossip.”
“Isn’t it the same thing?’
“Depends on who you’re talking to.” I held my breath, waiting, as only the sound of her breathing passed through the phone.
“I didn’t see him.”
“Of course not. He’s probably still being a studious college twat for his little princess.”
“Keiran? A twat? Studying?”
“You don’t know him so don’t pretend you do.”
“So why did you send me back to that hot ass place if you knew he wouldn’t be there?”
“I didn’t tell you to stop sucking,” I barked to the blonde when she lifted her head.
“My jaw hurts.”
“Are you seriously getting a blow job while you’re talking to me?”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m done talking.” Before I could end the call, I heard her shout to wait. “What?”
“It was for her, wasn’t it?
“And if it was?”
“I would have to say I’m curious why? I mean it’s obvious you still love her judging by the large sketch on your office wall. Kind of sweet but a little obsessive.”
“I guess I had a moment of weakness. It’s a common trait for sluts.” I hung up the phone and closed my eyes before opening them. My gaze traveled to the sketch I drew of Sheldon the night I took her virginity. She was fast asleep, and even after the things I’d done to her body, she still somehow looked pure.
I reflected on the last four years, and for the millionth time, I wondered about all that I might have missed. Was she still the same? Was she better or worse?
Was I?
Not for the first time, I wondered if the life I led was worth anything. My only other option had been to continue living the life I had before leaving. Eighteen years was a long time to live a lie. I couldn’t sacrifice more time to it.
One might think that if you spent your life living for the wrong reason, then there was no point in living at all.
I had my chance to die, but I was too much of a coward to take it.
Now I’m forced to live another lie.
But this time is different.
This time it would be my own.
I looked over at the blonde who looked near to passing out. “Get out.”
* * * * *
A few hours and a couple of appointments later I stepped out of my shop and locked up for the night.
I opened Broken Ink shortly after I grew bored of being holed up, and I was convinced my brother wasn’t hot on my trail.
Di convinced me to let her tag along after telling me all about the money her father had stashed away in their home. It took careful thinking, but after pulling the caper, we walked away with a fifty-fifty split.
Since I didn’t graduate due to my lengthy stay in the hospital, I settled for a GED and later, a license for the shop.
In the beginning, business was nonexistent. In a big city, it paid to have connections, and the only customers gracing my shop back then were friends of Di. I never thought that doing cheap tats for her friends would pay off until I hit the jackpot by doing some very serious ink for an aspiring band who hit it big six months later. It worked out for me that part of their sex appeal came from the hardcore tats that had all of California and even people out of state rushing to my shop. The boom in business made me forget the reality that I was running because none of these people knew me.
I gave them all a fake story and even more of a fake name, and while I knew my cover wasn’t airtight, it worked so long as I didn’t give anyone a reason to dig.
But it wasn’t them I was worried about. It was everyone I left behind. Knowing my brother, he would look for me because of who he is, but after what I’d done the night I left, I wouldn’t bet on it unless it was to kill me.
He was a vengeful person and no one knew that better than his former pet turned girlfriend.
She was the reason he would come after me if he ever did because four years wasn’t nearly long enough for him to forget what I had done. I wondered what he would do if he knew Lake wasn’t the only one I’d hurt that night? Keiran had never been the knight in shining armor, but even then, I could see the change that Lake had caused in him.
Instead of happiness for my brother and a girl I once called a friend, all I felt was envy and anger. I once believed in my own way that love might have been real until it was shattered the night I met my real father and found out my brother, who I knew as my cousin all my life, killed my mother. Our mother.
Love faded that day.
And when Sheldon turned her back on me, it died completely.
My phone pinged with an incoming text message. It was a Friday night so I already knew what the message held without looking at it. Another invite to a party guaranteed to end with fucked up life choices being made.
And like always, I’d accept without ever answering the invitation.
And why not? I was free to do so. I didn’t have to answer to anyone. I didn’t have to care what anyone thought.
And even more tempting, I didn’t have to feel guilty for hurting anyone but myself.
Most of the people who frequented these parties were either escaping pain or looking for it. I was just another body in a world full of sin that didn’t fit in either category.
The text message, when I finally read it, held an address and nothing else. It didn’t take long for the hosts, or whoever extended the invitation, to catch on to the fact that I would never respond, so after a while, they would only send an address.
If I showed, I showed. If I didn’t… well, I always did.
Being alone was never good for long. I’d had enough of that growing up. I craved contact. I needed attention. I demanded to be noticed.
I laughed silently first, and then out loud when I remembered on more than one occasion Lake saying that I was an attention whore. She saw right through me, so I had no choice but to befriend her. I didn’t anticipate actually caring about her. I didn’t show it the last time I saw her, but I never really wanted to hurt her. Just my brother.
I may seek attention, but that didn’t mean it filled the void. It was more like a temporary fix that I quickly became addicted to—it was part of the reason I was still searching.
I hopped on my bike, and when it roared to life, I sped off for a night of darkness and sin.
* * * * *
The address took me to a seedier part of town that even the cops gave a wide berth. It was a wonder how many of the city’s elite would be caught dead in a place like this, mixing with scum. I toed the line between the two classes.
A row of houses, each in worse shape than the one before it, were littered with partygoers coming and going. I picked one to park my bike in front of.
“Chris! Welcome to the party, man!”
The voice came from my left, and by the time I dismounted, he was on me. Keith was a big time dealer who liked to host parties to scout out potential clientele and competition. There was more than one occasion when a party ended badly due to a shootout or a druggie overdosing. In fact, it was the very type of situation that resulted in our friendship three years ago. I saved him from a few stick-up kids, and he repaid me by sending me fresh clientele and invitations to his parties. More often than not, I would bring my business here and do a few tats for extra cash—not that I really needed it.
“What’s up, bro? You got the party started without me?” I teased as we slapped hands. He strategically managed to push a beer in my other hand. I wasn’t usually the beer drinking type, but these days, I began to care less and less.
“We always get the party started without you. You show up when you feel like it. If we waited for you, it would be time to end it before it ever got started.”
“Haven’t you ever heard that a true party doesn’t stop?”
“Yeah, well, it would be kind of hard not to stop when everyone is passed out drunk from booze and buzz.”
“So why out here? This isn’t your usual kind of spot.”
“Man, the pigs have been sniffing around my shit so I had to change it up. Besides, I’ve been hearing about a smaller dealer around these parts that wanted to take my spot.”
“You know one day your shit is going to catch you by the collar, right?”
“And when it does, at least I’ll be able to say I lived my life the way I chose. How many people do you know who can say that besides me and you?”
“If you say so, man,” I agreed half-heartedly. In truth, Keith was dying. His path of self-destruction would lead him to one of two places—the grave or prison. But was I any better? I may not indulge, but I was no better than the rest because I chose this life.
Di had warned me just about every day how easy it was to get sucked into the fast life, but what she didn’t know was I never do anything I didn’t want anymore.
The last time I did, it cost me everything.
At least now, if I woke up tomorrow and decided I wanted a completely different path, I would take that road, but until then, I lived for today and today only.
“So what brought you by tonight?” Keith asked, forcing my attention back to him. “Bitches, booze, or buzz?”
“Boredom.”
“Ah.” He’d gone quiet as he looked over the party and sipped on his beer. After three years of friendship, he knew not to push the issue. It was common knowledge that I never indulged at these parties beyond alcohol.
I was content to stand here and people watch for the rest of the night until Keith’s crew staggered over with their groupies in tow.
A chorus of drunken greetings from the guys and sexy smiles meant to seduce from the girls interrupted the silence. Keith snapped his fingers at someone I couldn’t see, and not long after, lawn chairs were brought over. I was handed one and wasted no time kicking back.
“Chris, man, your hands are looking a little empty,” Ryder, Keith’s right hand, said. “Katy, go sit on his lap.”
The redhead massaging his shoulders promptly skipped over to me with a wide grin as if he had just given her a million dollars rather than passed her around like the slut she was. I never aspired to have that kind of power, but it was always amusing to watch.
“Hi, I’m Katy,” she offered unnecessarily as she lowered herself on my lap. She subtly lifted her skirt so her ass, clad in only a thong, rested directly on my dick.
“So I’ve heard.” My voice came out strained as my dick rose against my will to cuddle between her ass cheeks. I slowly took in her appearance and found everything about her fuckable, from her size D breasts to the soft skin of her thighs.
My cock was ready to fuck.
When I leaned forward and simultaneously wrapped my arm around her waist, she tossed her hair and smiled at me over her shoulder.
“Katy, was it?” I whispered in her ear.
CHAPTER FIVE
KEENAN
“WAKE UP.”
I growled at the feminine voice that pulled me from the deep sleep that I didn’t want to end. I was afflicted with the same dream I had every damn night since the day I left home.
A yawn involuntarily escaped before I could even open my eyes. I could taste the booze on my tongue and felt the muscle strain from too little sleep. When I finally opened my eyes, I was met with an angry pair staring back down at me. Before I could order her to get out, ice-cold water hit me in the face.
“Fuck!” I roared. “What the fuck? I was awake, you crazy bitch!”
“Oops. My mistake.” Di shook the bottle of water she was holding and grinned down at me sweetly. She was dressed in workout gear from head to toe as sweat glistened on her skin. Sunlight shone through the window, and I could just make out her nipples through the thin shirt.
“You work out without a bra?”
“I don’t wear bras much period. They are uncomfortable and a waste of money. Are you seriously just now noticing?”
“Yes. I don’t find you all that attractive. “ Instead of huffing and puffing like many girls would have done, she rolled her eyes and tipped her head back for a sip of water.
I used her distraction as an opportunity to make my move. Her yelp of surprise was quickly muffled by the blanket I had only just discarded.
“Keenan!” she shrieked in outrage. She managed to push up on her hands, but I was already flipping her over to her back. My knee came in between her thighs, and I used it to spread her wide before settling between them.
Once I was anchored, I took the time to take in her fierce expression as she glared up at me. She continued to fight even though we both knew her chance of dislodging me was zero to none.
“Settle down,” I ordered.
“Get off of me.”
“Isn’t this what you wanted?” I let my voice drop low and even, in a way that said I was ready to fuck. I could tell she noticed from the startled look in her eyes. My hips pressed against her sex and the gasp that left her lips was full of surprise. I felt my cock harden to my surprise.
Maybe I shouldn’t have turned that girl away last night.
“Are you kidding me?” she spat.
“Why else would you bring your ass in my bedroom if not to fuck?”
“You weren’t answering your phone.”
“Maybe it was because I was sleeping,” I said slowly, letting my irritation be known.
“And the reason for all this is because?”
“To let you know that if you come in here again, uninvited, we will fuck.”
“Once a whore, always a whore,” she mocked.
“Are you angry because I’m stronger than you or angry because you secretly want me?”
“Neither, asshole. Now get off of me.”
This time, I lifted off her and reached for my shirt at the end of the bed. Di bounced to her feet with a huff while shooting daggers at me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked without meeting her glare. She had no right to be upset after barging into my space uninvited. I lived alone in a high-rise apartment right in the middle of Los Angles. Whenever I stepped outside, I was likely to cross paths with an actor or lead singer in a rock band, and even that failed to excite me.
Di moved into a similar, though smaller apartment, a few floors down, after refusing to live in her father’s house, which she dubbed a gilded whorehouse.
After we had stolen the money from his hideaway in the house, we played around with the idea of torching the place until I remembered that my whole purpose of moving was to keep a low profile.
That night was also the night Di and I almost fucked on a bed covered with money we tossed around after getting shitfaced. We’d come dangerously close but seemed to simultaneously come to our senses for different reasons that may have not been so different.
We never talked about it and never made another move like it again. Our partnership had grown into a friendship when we realized neither of us had many people left that we could trust.
I stepped into the bathroom without waiting for an answer, knowing she would only follow. She seriously needed to work on boundaries. I briefly wondered what Keiran would have done had it been him having to deal with her shit.
I laughed when I figured he probably would have snapped her neck by now. When the thought settled, amusement had been replaced by the grim reality of who my brother was and how it brought me here. Away from my home, my friends… everything I’d ever known including Sheldon.
And she haunted me day and night.
“I got a call from a client saying you never showed for your first appointment.”
“What time is it?”
“One in the afternoon.”
“What time was my appointment?”
“Seriously? You don’t even remember?”
I grabbed the toothpaste and coated my brush. “Can you answer a simple fucking question without asking a question?”
“You went to a party last night, didn’t you? With that lowlife drug scum?”
“That’s another question, but can I ask you something? When the hell did you become so fucking stuck up your own ass?”
“Right around the time my father went to prison and stopped selling me like a whore.”
“So you’re saying you need some ass?”
“Can you please think with your brain and not your dick for at least once in your life?”
“I’ve got to take a piss. Are we through here?” I nudged her from the doorway and slammed the door before she could answer.
My need to urinate wasn’t as bad as the need to hide my reaction to her judgment of me. It wasn’t anything I wasn’t used to or haven’t earned. Despite it all, it still made me want to put my fist through a wall.
“Should I tell your client to reschedule?” she yelled through the door.
“Tell them to either reschedule or fuck off,” I yelled back as I stepped into the shower and let the cold spray wash away the unwanted feelings.
* * * * *
Since I missed my first appointment, and after checking my calendar, realized I didn’t have another for a couple of hours, I took my bike in to get serviced. This bike, Di, and the clothes on my back were the only thing I took with me when I left Six Forks.
I told myself the reason I held onto the old bike wasn’t because Sheldon and my names were keyed on the side. The memory of how it ended up there wasn’t the hearts and flowers story anyone might assume. She actually keyed it there after the third time I was caught cheating. It read—Keenan & Sheldon forever.
She carved it there right before dumping my ass. Getting her back took a lot of groveling, and it wasn’t until she left me for good that I realized she should have left me a long time ago.
And if I really loved her… I would have let her go a long time ago.
If I were wise, I would never step foot in Six Forks again. If she were lucky, she would never have to lay eyes on me again. I played with the idea of having my bike repainted for what felt like the millionth time, and each time I would bring my bike in, I bitched out and cursed myself the entire way home.
Every once in a while, I would send Di back to Six Forks as my spy. I never knew exactly what I was looking for, and Di never asked questions for the most part. Everyone had gone away for college including Keiran. Di was able to find out that Keiran, Lake, and Dash were all studying at the same college. Sheldon apparently chose to stay local and went to the university in the neighboring city.
I wasn’t surprised given her dream to be a model, which didn’t really require a degree. I figured her father strong-armed her into college. And why did that disappoint me?
I shouldn’t care.
Her future was no longer meant for mine, and the reminder only served to bring the rage to boiling pitch inside me. I remembered how I left things with her. How I blamed her and hated her for leaving me.
When I needed her most, she cast me aside.
I’m responsible for many wrongs in our relationship, but one thing I’d never done was abandon her. Fucking that teacher was one of the lowest points in my life, but the lowest was begging her to be with me.
I wouldn’t be begging again.
If I ever saw her again, I would take what was owed to me. She had just better hope our paths never crossed again. It was the last thing I said to her.
I was so deep in my thoughts, I hadn’t realized the owner of the shop was standing in front of me, watching me curiously.
“Say, man. Have you given more thought to getting your bike repainted? I guess by the look on your face the little lady who carved that artwork on your bike is no longer in the picture.”
“You could say that,” I said slowly to hide the rage growing in the pit of my stomach. It was the same vicious cycle that occurred every time she was brought up, and I was forced to remember her treachery.
One day, the need had even taken over my good sense, and I had been halfway back to Six Forks to drag the backstabbing bitch back to my bed whether she was willing or not. An emergency phone call from Di saying she had been in a car accident turned me around.
It wasn’t until I returned to find her sitting by the poolside sipping a margarita that I realized it had been a trick to get me back here. The asshole had actually handed me a drink, smartly followed by, “You’re welcome.”
After the boys had finished my bike, I headed to the shop. My next appointment wasn’t for another hour, so I planned to spend the time freestyling new designs for my scrapbook.
However, my plans flew out the window because, no sooner had I settled in my chair with my favorite scrapbook, the shop door flew open, slamming into the wall and cracking the glass.
An overly muscled guy in his early thirties, dressed in a plaid shirt with a bushy red beard approached me with three more following behind.
The look on his face and the fact that he broke my door told me he wasn’t here for a tattoo or social call.
I didn’t need to worry about appearing unfazed by the potential threat. My ‘give a fuck’ had taken a vacation a long time ago and never bothered to come back.
“Hey! You Chris?”
“Depends on why you’re asking.”
Chris Johnson was the name I adopted when I came to California. Di thought I should have gone with something less boring but boring was unassuming. A common name gave me less chance of being caught if anyone ever became curious enough. There had to be thousands of Chris Johnsons in the world, which allowed me to blend with the crowd.
“A few days ago, you tattooed a girl and made her suck a rusty pipe after you tattooed ‘whore’ on her backside,” the big redhead spoke again.
I made a point to let my gaze travel over the man whose intimidation tactics were a little outdated. “I got to say you look great since the last time I saw you although a little different.”
“She was my baby sister, you little shit.”
“And so I suppose you’re here for a tattoo?”
“I ain’t here for no fucking tattoo, boy. I’m here for a body.”
“Sorry,” I said without a hint of fear or emotion. “I don’t seem to have one in stock, but if you come back later, I might have a few laid out for you.”
That was a lie but giving the impression I was a ruthless killer would call the bluff of a lesser enemy.
It was something I picked up from Keiran although the difference between him and me was he actually was a killer.
I never realized how much his influence had not only affected me but also kept me alive for the past four years. I didn’t mix with the right crew because I was no longer interested in doing the right thing.
“Later isn’t going to work for me,” he yelled unnecessarily. Spit flew from his mouth as he talked. His skin was now a deep red, and I couldn’t help but think of those fat, red sausage links that split open when you boil them too long. “I’ll take yours instead.”
The three men who had yet to speak all drew on me as I continued to sit with my sketchbook in hand. I had my own piece taped under my chair for insurance just in case a client ever got a little froggy, but something, or rather someone who caught my eye made me rethink my next move.
“You got anything to say now, pretty boy?”
“Aww, shucks. You think I’m pretty?” I mocked with a fake country twang.
“Enough, Keenan,” the deep voice of my big, bad brother boomed behind the unsuspecting men.
Before they could blink, the gun, equipped with a silencer, blew out the back of each man’s head in quick succession.
When the last body fell, I was left with the only person I had ever feared. His dark eyes were as cold as I remembered as he stared me down. I had to remind myself it was a long time ago. I became an entirely new animal since discovering how fucked up he really is.
“How did you find me?”
“Is that the first thing you say to someone you haven’t seen in four fucking years?”
“Were you expecting a hug and a kiss on the cheek, or did you forget the fact that I would sooner kill you than shake your hand?”
“If you ever feel the need to take it there, Keenan, just let me know…”
I waved him off. “Say whatever you came to say and leave.”
“I didn’t come here for polite conversation over tea. It’s time to go home, and I’m your escort.”
Laughter bubbled inside my gut until it spilled over.
“Nothing has changed, I see. You still seem to think the world is supposed to bend for Keiran fucking Masters. Well, I’m not following blindly behind you anymore. I lead myself.”
“You sound like a female. Have you been talking to Lake?” He blew out a heavy breath and growled. “Fuck it. Here are your options—you can walk on your own two feet...” He paused and the next second, I was staring down the barrel of his gun as he aimed it directly at my head, “or I can make you.”
“So you really did kill her?” I asked, meeting his hard gaze dead on. If he was willing to kill me, what chance did my mother have with him, even at such a tender age? Sometimes I wondered if she ever begged and if he really didn’t know who she was when he killed her as Lake had claimed.
“Yes,” he answered without question, but the falter in his stare let me know that he wasn’t completely out of touch with his feelings.
Maybe Lake had softened him up. It was time to test that theory.
“And now you want to kill me?”
“Want is incorrect for what I’m feeling, little brother. I should kill you.” I watched his grip tighten and his eyes darken to nearly black orbs filled with rage.
“Go ahead. It’s not like I’m hanging around for anything in particular.”
“Yes, you are. You just don’t know it yet, and I refuse to let her do without any longer because you’re a coward.”
