Текст книги "Our Little Secret"

Автор книги: Ashelyn Drake

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Chapter Fifteen

Oh God! How could she know? “What do you mean?” Playing dumb never works with Tori, so what the hell am I doing?

“I mean, why did Toby call you last night? It’s a simple question.”

Sure. And my simple answer will cost me my best friend. “Um, he had a question about the trig homework.”

“My straight A, math wiz of a brother called you with a question about the math homework? How stupid do you think I am?”

Crap. “Wait, what makes you think he called me anyway?” Toby would’ve warned me if Tori overheard us talking, just like he did earlier.

“Because I grabbed his cell by mistake this morning. They were both on the table, and I was in a rush. I went to dial your number, and it wasn’t in my contacts. It was in the call log, though. I realized it wasn’t my phone. And that I’m not the only Michaels calling you. Care to explain?”

Double crap. If she saw the call log, then she knows we were on the phone for an hour last night. My mind swirls with possible excuses—lies. More lies. But Toby and I are perfect together. We fit. If I don’t lie to Tori… “Your birthday,” I blurt out.

“What about it?”

“I’m planning a surprise party, and Toby is helping me.”

“But it’s his birthday, too. Isn’t that like planning his own party? Or are you not inviting him?”

Damn it! I have to start thinking ahead. “Um, he doesn’t like surprises, remember? So I told him, and the surprise was just going to be for you.”

“And you’re telling me you got my brother to spend an hour on the phone, planning my surprise party? What the hell did you give him in exchange?”

How about an intense make-out session behind the stage during fifth period? “He said he couldn’t think of a good gift for you, so he thought he should help plan the party to make up for it.”

“Oh really? He thinks he can skimp on my gift just because he helped you plan my party? Yeah, right! I got him basketball tickets.”

“You did? The Knicks?” Maybe she does really love him after all.

“No, they were way too expensive for my budget. But who cares what team it is. They’re basketball tickets. He’ll go.”

“Way to put some thought into his present.” What am I going to get him? It can’t be anything too big. We just started dating, and we aren’t public, so it can’t be anything people would ask about. This so isn’t going to be easy. And now I have to throw a party for Tori and Toby. There goes the rest of my allowance for the year.

“Why couldn’t you two plan the party during your tutoring sessions?”

“Um, because we’re busy studying.” And making out.

“Well, I really don’t like you two hanging out so much. He has his own friends. You and I don’t get to spend much time together anymore since your trig grade went to hell.”

“I know, but I really don’t see why you and Toby can’t have the same friends anyway.” Might as well get it out there and see how she reacts. “I’ve known you both all my life. It’s kind of weird not being friends with him. I mean, I guess I do think of him as a friend in a way.”

“Are you kidding me? Before you started tutoring, you two only said about two words to each other, hi and bye.”

She’s exaggerating, but I let it go. “Don’t you think that’s crazy? We grew up together.”

“No, it’s not crazy. We have our own friends. It’s always been that way.”

I’ve reached my limit. This has to stop. “Ever since Allison, right?”

“Did Toby mention her to you?” She’s practically yelling into the phone, but her voice quivers like she’s holding back tears.

“She was my friend too, Tori.”

“Holy crap, Becca. I can’t believe you talk to Toby about me. This totally breaks the best friend code, you know.”

“And costing me a good friend doesn’t?”

“You don’t get it. Toby’s…” Her voice trails off.

“Toby’s what?” What am I missing here? What is it about Toby that bothers her so much, that makes her defenses go up like this? She’s keeping me in the dark and setting rules for me, and I don’t like it.

“Ugh! Screw this. I’m going to be late.” She hangs up without answering me.

I’m shaking with anger as I text Toby.

Becca: Let’s go jump out of a plane.

 

Thirty minutes later, I’m sitting in my room with my signed permission slip and still no Toby. Where is he? I try texting him again but get no response. Fed up, I get in the car and drive over there. Tori’s not home anyway and if Toby’s parents are there, I’ll pretend I have a question about trig.

Toby’s car is in the driveway when I pull up. This boy is so dead. I storm up the front steps and knock on the door. He answers, wearing nothing but his boxers.

“Oh.” I try to lift my eyes, but they’re glued to his blue-checkered underwear.

He laughs. “Sorry. I thought you were Jeff.”

“You’re in your underwear because you thought Jeff was on his way over?”

He laughs even harder. “No. I was going to get in the shower, but when you knocked I thought it was Jeff coming back because he forgot something.”

“Okay, that makes a little more sense. But where have you been?”

“Didn’t you get my text?”

“No.”

“That’s weird. I sent it about twenty minutes after we talked this morning.”

I pull out my cell and check my texts. “Nothing.”

He flips through his messages. “Crap.”

“What?”

“I sent it to Meredith by mistake.”

I try to stay calm, but my insides are like a volcano about to erupt. “You were texting Meredith?”

“Only to tell her that there was no chance of us getting back together or whatever we were before.” He runs his hand through his hair. “Of course, texting her, ‘Have to cancel, but we’ll hook up tonight’ might be a little misleading.”

“You should probably text her again and let her know that was a mistake.”

His fingers fly across the keys. “Done.” He puts his cell on the table by the door. “So, anyway, Jeff came over this morning because his dog was missing. We were out for hours looking for it. I just got back.”

“Did you find it?” I still can’t keep my eyes on his, and it’s taking all my control not to reach out and touch his abs.

“Yeah.” He motions upstairs. “Let me go put some pants on.”

“It’s okay. I should go.”

He takes my hands in his. “Please don’t.”

“Are your parents around?”

“No, they’re visiting relatives in New Jersey.”

Alone in his house and all he’s wearing is boxers. I swallow the lump in my throat, but I can’t do anything to calm the pounding in my chest.

He steps toward me, brushing his fingers across my cheek. “I’ll go put some pants on.”

I nod and watch him disappear up the stairs. I breathe again and sit down on the couch. I’m not ready for things to move that quickly between us. Sure I’ve known him for years, but we’ve only been hanging out like this for a little while. It still feels new to me.

He pokes his head around the stairs. “You want to come up?”

“How long will Tori be out with Ryder?”

He waves the comment away. “We’ve got hours. Don’t sweat it.”

I get up and meet him on the stairs. “What did you have in mind?” My voice squeaks.

He reaches for my hand. “Do you not trust me now that we’re completely alone?”

“No. I mean yes.” I sigh.

“Would you rather stay downstairs?”

“No.” I’m being silly. Toby isn’t going to tear his clothes off the second we’re in his room. He leads me upstairs, and I sit down on his bed like I always do.

“Music?” He turns on his iPod, and Mumford and Sons comes through the speakers.

“No way. You like them?”

“Yeah. Tori can’t stand them.”

“I know. She never lets me play them when she’s around.”

He walks over to me and takes my hand, pulling me to my feet. He sways back and forth. I’m not a dancer at all. I never know what to do with my hands, and I end up stepping on the guy’s feet. But dancing with Toby is different. My body responds to his.

“I can play this on the guitar,” Toby says, his lips brushing my ear.

“Will you play it for me?”

“Right now?” He tilts his head back to see me better.

“Why not?”

“Um, because we’re listening to the real Mumford and Sons, and they’re way better than I am.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

We stop dancing, and he gets his guitar from the corner. He sits in his desk chair and closes his eyes. He doesn’t play, just listens to the iPod.

“Do you want me to turn that off?” I get up and walk toward his dresser.

“No. It’s easier to play along with it.”

I stand there, watching him. Finally, his fingers move across the strings, and he’s playing along with the music. I sit back down on the bed, folding my legs under me. In all the time I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him play—only heard it through the door. Toby has never looked so sexy. And then he starts singing. My God, his voice! I melt into the mattress. I could listen to him for hours.

When the song ends, he opens his eyes and looks at me. “Nothing great, I know, but it’s fun.”

I get up and walk over to him. “That was amazing. You’re really good.”

He laughs. “You’re either being nice or you’re easily impressed.”

“Neither, actually.”

He puts the guitar down and takes my hands. I want to kiss him so badly, feel his lips on mine. I lean my head down and shrug my hands from his so I can tilt his face toward mine. He follows my lead and kisses me. Before long, I’m on his lap. His fingers work their way through my hair, down my back, and under my shirt. I can’t catch my breath. His kisses trail down my jaw and to my neck. I’m so done for.

My heart pounds in my ears. I pull his face back to mine before I totally lose control. I refuse to sleep with my best friend’s brother behind her back. That would be crossing a line I can’t come back from. I tilt my head back, separating from him.

“You okay?” He stares into my eyes. “I wasn’t going to—”

“I know. I just need a breather.”

“Okay.” He lets go of me, and I stand up, turning toward the window and wrapping my arms around myself.

“Are we crazy? For doing this?”

“She’s out with my best friend right now, doing way more than this.”

Was that a complaint about how little we’ve done? “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak out on you.”

He walks over and puts his hands on my arms. “That’s not what I meant.” He turns me around and smiles. “I’m good with this. Better than good.”

“How can you be?” Most guys our age wouldn’t be.

“Want to know a secret?”

“To be honest, I’m getting tired of keeping secrets.”

“Me too. That’s why I’m going to tell you this.”

“All right.”

“I didn’t just start having feelings for you recently.”

“You didn’t?” Could’ve fooled me.

“No. It was last year.”

“You’ve had feelings for me for a year?”

He nods. “I didn’t want to act on them though. I wasn’t sure how to deal with liking the girl I used to run around in diapers with.”

We both laugh. “Our situation is a strange one. No doubt about that.”

“But then Tori started talking about Ryder and hanging all over him, so I figured that meant it was okay for me to find out how you felt about me.”

“I’m glad you did. I’ve liked you for so long, but I would’ve been too scared to ever tell you. I’ve never been the girl to make the first move.”

“I know. That’s one of the things I like about you. You don’t throw yourself at guys. You let them come to you.”

“And even then I don’t throw myself at them,” I mutter.

He runs his hands up and down my arms. “And like I said, I’m okay with that. Want to know another reason why I’m afraid of relationships?”

Afraid of them? When did he go from not liking titles to being afraid of relationships? “Okay,” I say, even though I’m pretty sure I don’t want to hear this.

“The best part of being with someone is getting to know them. Wanting to touch them and kiss them every time you see them. After a while, that newness goes away, and it’s not as fun.”

“And that’s when people break up.”

“Right.”

“But we probably know each other better than every couple at school combined.”

He smiles. “I know.”

Does that mean he’s decided he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me?

“Yet you keep surprising me.”

“How?” I’m not exactly daring or spontaneous.

“Because no matter what, you are who you are.”

“I don’t follow.” I wish he’d just spit it out already because I’m not sure my heart can take this.

“As soon as I asked Meredith out, she changed. She turned into…” I can tell he’s searching for a polite word for slut. “She offered to sleep with me on the first date.”

“Oh my God! Did you?” I can’t help asking. I don’t want him to be the kind of guy who would do that.

“No, and that made her try harder.” He raises my chin so I’m looking in his eyes. “It’s hard to want something if it’s thrown in your face.”

I smile and then lower my lips to his.

An hour later, he walks me downstairs. It was the perfect day of listening to music, dancing, and kissing. Just kissing. Which is enough. For now.

“You want to study tonight?”

“No, better skip it. Tori is going to want to fill me in on every detail of her date. You might want to let Ryder know that I’m going to hear how good a kisser he is and other things that he probably doesn’t want me to know.”

“I think I’ll spare him that humiliation.” He pulls the front door open and leans down to kiss me again.

I pull away from the kiss to see Meredith standing on the front porch.

“Oh my God!” she shrieks.

Chapter Sixteen

My heart stops. Just stops. Meredith is staring at us like she’s seen a ghost. Maybe she has because I sure feel like I died.

“You? How?” Her hand is on her chest like she’s having trouble breathing. I can relate.

“Um, this isn’t what it looks like.” I look at Toby for help, but he opens the door wider and motions for Meredith to come in.

“No. I don’t want to step into whatever this is.” She motions between us. Toby reaches for her and pulls her inside. I step out of the way, wanting to sink right into the floor.

Toby shuts the door, closing us all inside. “Meredith, this is the girl I was telling you about. See? I’m not making her up.”

“But it’s Becca! Becca Daniels!” She gestures to me as if Toby isn’t sure who I am. “I mean, how could you?”

It’s the Barbie lunchbox all over again, but this is so much worse.

Toby steps toward me. “Why not? Becca’s amazing.”

“She’s—” Meredith turns away and presses her hands to the sides of her head. “I don’t even know what to make of this.”

“Meredith, please.” I can’t believe I’m about to beg her, of all people, but that’s exactly what’s going to happen. “You can’t mention this to Tori. She doesn’t know.” I’m still pissed at Tori, but that doesn’t mean I want to lose her as a friend.

She lowers her hands and turns back to us. “No, she doesn’t, does she?” She looks back and forth between us. “Is that why Ryder took her out today? To help you two sneak around?”

“No!” My God. Why does she think so little of me? “Ryder likes Tori.”

“Sure. It’s like I stepped into bizarro world. Ryder and Tori, you and Toby. It’s insane. You get that, don’t you? You must or you wouldn’t be sneaking around.” She steps toward Toby. “Why? Why would you leave me for her?”

He backs away from her. “I didn’t leave you. We were never together.”

“Oh, so I guess we weren’t sleeping together? I must have imagined that.” She looks at me, making sure I know what happened between them. I cringe. Hearing it from her is too much to take. “You got me to sleep with you and then you tossed me to the curb. You’re no better than―”

“That’s not what happened and you know it. We hung out for a while, but it didn’t work out. That’s it. I’m sorry if you got hurt, but I don’t know what you want me to say.” Toby’s voice is small, like he realizes for the first time just how much he hurt Meredith. Maybe he’ll see his “no relationship” thing isn’t working for anyone but him.

“You could say you didn’t give us a fair chance. You always had other girls hanging around. You never committed to just me. Not even after we…” Meredith’s eyes are full of tears, and I can’t help feeling sorry for her.

“I was honest with you from the start. I’m not sure what else I could’ve done. I don’t feel the same way. I’m sorry, but it’s true.” Toby takes a step toward me. “I like Becca. I have for a year.”

“For a year?” Meredith practically screams. Oh, Toby, that was so not the right thing to say. “So you were with me and wishing I was her?” She jabs her finger in my direction. At least I can understand her hating me after that revelation.

“Maybe we should all sit down.” I’m not sure how that will help, but I can’t think of anything else to do.

“You sit down.” It’s a weak insult for Meredith, but she’s not exactly herself right now, so I throw her a bone and pretend the comment stings.

“Um, okay.” I sit down in the armchair next to me.

Meredith moves toward Toby, and at first I think she’s going to shove him or slap him across the face. But she places her hands on his chest. He couldn’t look more uncomfortable. “Why? Why can’t you see that I’m the perfect girl for you? Everyone else does.” She turns her head and looks at me. “What does she have that I don’t?”

Morals? But then again, I’m sneaking around with my best friend’s brother. My morals aren’t exactly model worthy right now.

“I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have. I’m really sorry, but I can’t change how I feel, and I don’t see how telling you why I like Becca is going to make you feel any better.”

“You want me to feel better?” She leans toward him, so close their faces are almost touching. I grip the armrest of the chair and wonder why Toby isn’t pushing her away. “Go out with me tonight. Give me a chance to show you what a big mistake you made.”

“Why, so you can throw yourself at him again?” Before I can realize what I’m doing, I’m on my feet and tugging her away from Toby. “That worked so well for you last time.”

She lunges for me, but Toby grabs my waist and pulls me away.

“This isn’t happening,” he says, positioning himself between us. “Meredith, I’m not dating you. It’s over. I’m with Becca. You’re just going to have to accept that.”

She’s breathing so heavily her entire body is heaving. “You think so?” Oh, this isn’t going to be good. “Tori has no idea what you two have been doing. But that can change.”

Toby lets go of me, and we exchange a worried look.

Meredith scoffs. “That’s what I thought. So let me tell you what’s going to happen.”

“Meredith—”

“Shut up, Becca. I’m talking. I’ll keep my mouth shut about what I saw here today on one condition.”

“One really big condition, right?” Toby asks.

“See, you do know me well.”

“Just spit it out already.” She’s only prolonging the torture. Just drop the bomb already.

“Toby and I are getting back together. This”—she points between Toby and me—“is over.”

Toby crosses his arms. “Forget it. You’re not telling me who I can date.”

“Fine. Then I’ll have a little talk with my old friend Tori.”

As much as Tori hates Meredith, I can’t risk Tori believing her. Especially because it’s true. I won’t be able to deny a flat-out accusation from my best friend. It’s going to kill me, but I have to go along with this.

“Toby, you have to do it,” I say, shocking both him and Meredith.

Meredith laughs. “Funny, but I never thought you’d be the sensible one, Becca.”

Toby turns to me. “What are you saying? You want to end this?”

“No, but if she tells Tori, it’s over anyway.” Looking into his baby blue eyes is painful. This isn’t what I want at all.

“I’m not giving you up that easily. I’ve waited too long to finally be with you.”

I want to kiss him so badly, but I know better than to piss off Meredith any more than she already is.

Toby turns to Meredith. “One date. That’s it. And then you’ll see we aren’t right for each other and it’s over.”

“Not good enough.” Meredith crosses her arms. “One date isn’t going to cut it, and I’m not going out with you just so you can dump me again.”

“I’m not kissing you or doing anything else with you. So if that’s what you’re looking for, you can forget it.” I’ve never seen Toby look this agitated. He’s always so together. It breaks my heart more because I can see whatever this is between us means just as much to him as it does to me.

“Fine, but you will hold my hand and make it look like we’re the perfect, happy couple.”

“Why would you do that?” I ask. It seems worse than not having Toby at all.

“Have you seen what my life has become since he decided I wasn’t good enough for him?” Her face is red with rage.

“That’s not what happened,” Toby says.

“Just shut up. I don’t want to hear it. I want my old life back. I want my old friends back. But everyone is too busy looking at me like I’m Toby’s latest castoff. They either look down on me or pity me. I can’t stand it. I’m going to rise to the top again, and you’re going to help me do it.”

“So this is about your reputation at school?” Why am I not surprised? I was stupid to think that she really loved Toby. Of course she doesn’t. All she cares about is her social status.

“Word of caution, Becca.” Meredith lowers her arms and steps right in front of me. “Toby doesn’t exactly live up to the hype.” She looks him up and down and laughs. “Which is why after a few weeks, once my reputation is fully restored, I’ll be dumping you—rather publicly.” She smiles. “Then you can see what it feels like to plummet down the social ladder. I’m sure Becca will be waiting for you at the bottom.”

“Get out,” Toby says. “I’m not going along with this, so just leave.”

“Fine.” Meredith starts for the door. “So, Ryder and Tori went to the movies, right? I’m sure I’ll be able to find them.”

“Wait!” I rush toward her and grab her arm. She eyes my fingers and shrugs them off. I turn back to Toby. “Please, just do what she wants. It’s only for appearance’s sake.” I look to Meredith for confirmation. “Right? That’s all this is?”

She nods. “He’ll have to kiss me in public. For appearance’s sake, of course.”

God, I want to smack her so hard! “Give us a minute.” I take Toby’s hand and lead him into the dining room.

“You can’t be serious about this, Bec.”

“I don’t know what else to do.” I squeeze his hand, not wanting to ever let go. I just got him. I can’t lose him already. “Are you ready for Tori to find out about us? Because I’m not. I don’t want to lose her. Or you.”

“You don’t think the longer we hang out behind her back the worse it will be?”

“I can’t imagine spending time with you could ever be a bad thing.”

He smiles and brushes my cheek with his thumb. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

The only way I could see Tori accepting me and Toby was if we were in love, but it’s way too soon for that. I’m in “great like,” but that won’t be enough for Tori. She’ll assume I’m just like every other girl who falls all over herself for Toby.

“This could buy us some time to figure things out.”

“And you’re okay with me pretending to be Meredith’s boyfriend?” The word boyfriend is like a curse coming off his lips.

“No, but I’ll deal with it.”

He lets out a long breath. “I don’t know if I can deal with it.”

“I know it sucks, but it’s only for a few weeks.”

“That’s longer than most of my relationships.” He forces a laugh.

“You don’t get in relationships, remember?” It’s stupid to push him at a time like this, but I can’t help it. I need to know all this is worth it.

“I was hoping to change that.” His face reddens a little. I’ve never seen him look so nervous.

The pain in my gut is overwhelming, but I force a smile and say, “Good. That should make it easier to get through the next few weeks then.”

“If you say so, but you’re not the one pretending to date Meredith.”

I laugh. “I would have if she asked.”

He cracks a smile. “You’d pretend to be a lesbian just to avoid telling my sister we’re dating?”

I shrug. “What can I say? I’m desperate.”

“We both must be.” He pulls me in for a hug. “This is all so crazy. Why does my sister have to be a possessive control freak?”

“That’s your twin and my best friend you’re talking about.”

“Okay, why does my twin and your best friend have to be a possessive control freak?”

He knows that’s not what I meant, but I laugh anyway. We’re both screwed and we know it. We have to take whatever little humor there is in the situation and milk it for all it’s worth.

“So I guess we’ll have to stick to our tutoring sessions and not plan any other get-togethers until this is over, huh?”

“Looks like it.” He lets go of me. “One last kiss before I go make a deal with the devil?”

I reach up on my toes, and he meets me halfway. The kiss is soft at first, but neither of us can control ourselves for long, and we soon end up a tangle of limbs. We don’t pull apart until we hear the front door slam shut.

“Do you think she left?” I ask, licking my lips and tasting Toby’s minty gum.

“I don’t know. Only one way to find out.”

But before we can even leave the dining room, we hear Tori’s voice. “What the hell are you doing in my house?”

Oh God! Why is she home? She’s supposed to be on her date with Ryder.

“What do we do?” I ask Toby.

He shrugs.

“We can’t stay here. Meredith might rat us out.” I wave him on and head to the living room. “Hey, Tor.” I try to act normally, but my insides are on fire. Ryder is with her. “Cutting the date short?”

She looks back and forth between me, Meredith, and Toby, who’s standing behind me. “What the hell is going on? You three are the last people I’d expect to find in my house together.”

Meredith turns toward Toby and me and smiles. “Toby, care to tell your sister what’s going on here?”