Текст книги "Our Little Secret"

Автор книги: Ashelyn Drake

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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 15 страниц)

Chapter Twenty-Five

I try calling Tori sixteen times on Sunday. She never came out of her room after she caught Toby and me kissing. She missed the rest of her party. All because of me. Her voice mail beeps, and I leave message number seventeen.

“Tori, please talk to me. Let me explain. I don’t want to do this over your voice mail. I need you to talk to me. I need my best friend back. Please.” I don’t know what else to say that I haven’t already, so I hang up.

Mom knocks on my open door. “Can I come in?”

“Sure.” I stare at my phone in my hands.

“She still won’t talk to you?”

I broke down and cried to Mom last night, so she knows the whole story. She knows I’m with Toby. She knows I’m a crappy best friend. She sits down on my bed and pats my knee. “I’ll take your silence as a no.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to ignore you. I’m just…” I shrug. There are no words for how I feel right now.

“I know. Have you talked to Toby?”

“Not really. He called this morning to check on me, but that was it. We didn’t think we should hang out today.”

“That’s probably a good idea. I imagine Tori needs some time to process all this.”

I look at Mom. She’s the most caring and loyal person I know. “You must be so disappointed in me.”

She sighs and shakes her head. “I think you should’ve told Tori how you were feeling, but I don’t blame you for liking Toby. We can’t help who we fall in love with.”

I never mentioned anything about love. “How—?”

She holds up her hand. “I was seventeen once too. I remember what it’s like.”

“It’s not fair. I love Tori. She’s the greatest friend ever, but she never would’ve let me date Toby. She would’ve forbidden me from seeing him. And then what? I really would’ve had to choose between them.”

“Have you told her that?”

“How can I?” I stare at my phone again. “She won’t answer any of my calls.”

“Keep trying. You have to show her how upset you are. Let her see she isn’t the only one hurting right now.”

I nod. “Can I skip school tomorrow?”

She narrows her eyes. “Why would you do that? That’s the one place she can’t avoid you.”

I didn’t think of it like that, but it’s true. I know Tori’s schedule. Even if she tries to avoid me, she can’t. I can stay two steps ahead of her, even if it means I’m late to every class and have to spend the week in detention. Toby will be there anyway after his little trip to the girls’ room to see me.

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Any time, sweetie. I wish I could do more for you. I hate seeing you so upset.”

“I’ll be okay.” Somehow, I’ll make Tori listen to me. After that, I just have to hope she’ll forgive me.

Monday morning can’t come soon enough. I wake up an hour early and don’t even try falling back to sleep. I know it’s pointless. I’m too wired. I get ready and head to Tori’s favorite coffee shop to buy her a large mocha coffee and a hazelnut scone. I’m the first student in the parking lot, and I’ve beaten most of the teachers to school too. I head right to Tori’s locker and wait.

Thirty minutes later, the first students trickle into the hallways. Everyone’s talking about Tori’s party. That and the massive blowout between Tori, Toby, and me. Apparently some people had migrated upstairs and caught the tail end of our argument. They were nosy enough to tell everyone else. I get several looks from students passing by Tori’s locker.

Finally, Tori and Ryder walk my way. Tori’s face turns every shade of purple when she sees me. She starts to turn away, but Ryder takes her arm and pulls her toward me. She’ll give him hell for that later, I’m sure.

“Let go of me, Ryder.”

“Just talk to her. You’re going to be miserable if you don’t, and then I’ll be miserable too. End it.” He turns her shoulders so she’s facing me head on.

“Tori, please. I really need to talk to you.”

She crosses her arms and glares at me. “Do you really think I give a shit what you need? My best friend and brother stabbed me in the back. I don’t really have anything left in me to care what you need right now. Or ever again.”

“Please, don’t say that. I know I was wrong. I can’t apologize enough, but I don’t want to lose you. You’re too important to me. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. This isn’t a you versus Toby thing. I want you both in my life.”

“Again, I don’t care what you want.” She turns her head, refusing to look at me.

“Technically, you said you didn’t care what she needed before, so—” Ryder shuts up the second Tori turns and glares at him. “Sorry.”

“Ryder, could you give us a minute, please?”

Tori’s head snaps in my direction. “Oh, now you think you can order my boyfriend around?”

“No, I just—”

“Stay, Ryder.” Tori’s voice is commanding, and she doesn’t take her eyes off me.

“Look, this doesn’t involve me. Toby’s my friend and you’re my girlfriend, so I don’t want to get in the middle. I’ll see you later.” He walks off, leaving Tori gaping after him.

“Now look what you’ve done. My God, how many other ways can you ruin my life?”

“I’m not trying to hurt you, but Ryder’s right. He’s friends with Toby and he’s your boyfriend. Don’t you see? It’s no different for me and Toby. I’m your friend and his girlfriend.”

She scoffs. “You seem so sure he’s the boyfriend type.”

“Because he is. He’s been great, Tori. He even wrote me a song to ask me to be his girlfriend.”

Her face twists in disgust. “That stupid song he’s been working on so much, the one he would only play behind closed doors, that was for you?”

I nod. “I told you this isn’t just some crush. I wouldn’t risk our friendship for a stupid crush.”

“No, you risked it for a song.”

How can I make her see how serious this is? “Can’t we all just hang out? You could see us together, and then you’ll understand. You hung out with Toby and Meredith, and you hate Meredith.”

“Well, then I guess it would seem like I could hang out with you too, since you’re no better than her, but I can’t.”

Ouch. She knew exactly how much that comment would cut me. “I never chose him over you.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Tori—”

“Have you ever lied to him? Have you snuck around behind his back?”

“No.”

“Then you made your choice.” She turns and starts for her class, giving up on the idea of using her locker since I’m blocking it. I keep in step with her, no matter how fast she tries to walk.

“I said I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to do.”

Her classroom is two doors away. She stops and stares at me. I jolt to a stop, almost spilling the coffee down the front of my shirt.

“I got you something.”

“You think that’s enough to make me forgive you?” She motions to the bag and coffee in my hands. “Cold coffee and a scone?”

“No, but I was hoping it could be a start. I know I jeopardized your trust, but—”

“No, you destroyed it. There’s none left. End of story.”

“Then at least give me a chance to earn it back.”

“Why? Because you’re such a good friend?”

“Yes. I am. I’ve never hurt you before. I screwed up. I get that, but this is the only time I’ve messed up. That has to count for something.”

“Yeah. It means that when you fuck up, you go all out.” She turns and dodges inside her classroom before I can respond.

“That was fun to watch,” Meredith says.

I turn to face her. “Get out of here.”

She smiles and walks off. Why is she so happy? With everyone knowing Toby and I are together she must be getting some crap for being replaced so quickly—that is if people haven’t already figured out that Toby and I have been together for a while, including the time he was supposed to be with her.

“You don’t fool me, Meredith,” I call down the hall to her.

She stops and turns. “Excuse me?” There’s nothing polite about the way she says it.

“You can pretend you think my misery is funny, but I know I’m not the only one suffering here. Everyone knows about Toby and me, so what does that mean for you?”

There’s a crowd forming around us. First the show with Tori and now this. I’m becoming the biggest source of entertainment at Lansfield High.

“This isn’t over. Just know that.” She turns and walks away, holding her head high. She’s got something up her sleeve. Things are going to get ugly very quickly.

By lunch, I find out Tori went home sick. Sick of me is more like it. I cornered her after every class, and finally she stormed out of the building. I drove her off. Toby and I walk into the cafeteria and look for an empty table. Even with Tori gone for the day, we know we won’t be welcome at Toby’s usual table. Between the people who took Meredith’s side after the breakup and the people who are taking Tori’s side in our fight, we’re both left out in the cold. Literally. We sit outside.

“The rest of junior year should be a blast,” I say, picking up my slice of pizza, which is already cold from the breeze.

“It can’t stay this way. It’s only the first day back after the party. Things will get better.”

I never knew he was such an optimist. Or maybe he’s just trying to put on a brave face for my sake. Either way, I’m not convinced.

Since I don’t say anything, Toby continues. “Look on the bright side. With Tori gone we can actually act like a couple and not have to worry about her seeing us.”

“Great, more hiding. Telling her the truth was supposed to put an end to this once and for all.”

“Come here.” He pulls me closer to him on the wooden bench, and I snuggle into his chest to avoid the wind. It’s been a brutal March, definitely “in like a lion” or however that old saying goes, but it’s almost April now and the “out like a lamb” part doesn’t seem to be happening.

“Maybe I can convince my mom to homeschool me until I graduate.”

“Oh, and leave me here to fend for myself? I don’t think so.”

Toby’s all I have left. I couldn’t leave him. “Don’t worry. We’re in this together. I wouldn’t leave you to face everyone alone.”

He lowers his lips to mine, and for the first time since Tori walked in on us, I let myself get lost in him. I try to forget Meredith and what she might do to get back at Toby and me. I try to forget that Tori hates me, probably even more than she hates Meredith. I try, but it doesn’t last long because Meredith’s voice brings reality crashing back down on me.

“You two should enjoy this cozy moment because it’s going to be one of your last.”

Toby pulls away and stares at her. “What are you talking about, Meredith?”

“I’m going to have a little conversation with the junior class really soon, and then they’ll all see you for what you really are.”

“And what’s that?” I think I know where she’s going with this, but I need to know for sure. I don’t want any surprises.

“Oh, I think you know. And if you don’t already, you’ll find out soon. Guys like Toby Michaels are all the same. They’re only after one thing, and they’ll do whatever’s necessary to get it.” She looks at him like she’s about to spit in his face. “I’m going to make sure everyone knows what you did to me.”

I thought she’d moved past that. If she tells everyone—even though it’s a lie—Toby will never recover from it. “You can’t do that, Meredith. It’s a lie and you know it. You’ll destroy his reputation. You can’t just go around saying things like that. It’s unforgiveable.”

“So is using girls and then leaving them like yesterday’s trash.”

“You are yesterday’s trash!” I lose it. I jump up and swing at her, but Toby grabs my arm, and Meredith dodges my punch.

“You’re lucky you missed. After the assault at Tori’s party, I wouldn’t be able to let this go without pressing charges.” She storms off and I slump against Toby’s side.

I couldn’t feel more defeated. “What are we going to do?”

He runs his hand through his hair. “I don’t know. I can’t prove she’s lying. It will be her word against mine, and even if some people do believe me, it will still be out there.”

There’s no erasing an accusation like the one Meredith is planning. It will destroy Toby. For good.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Toby comes over after detention. We didn’t think being at his house was a good idea anymore, so we moved our tutoring to my house. Although we don’t do any tutoring at all because we’re too worried about Meredith.

“She said she was going to tell the entire junior class. When will we all be together?” I rack my brain, trying to remember if student council elections or anything else class related is coming up. They usually let the candidates make speeches to the whole class before voting, and Meredith will definitely be running for something. But it was still too early to hold elections for next year.

“It’s the pep rally. It has to be.”

That makes sense. “When is it?” I never keep up with those things because I don’t play sports. They’re just a reason to miss class and nothing else.

“Friday, last period.”

“Four days. That gives us four days to figure out how to stop her.”

“I have to talk to her, get her to change her mind.”

“Think that will work? Meredith doesn’t strike me as the type you can reason with.”

“She’s not.” Toby’s face falls. He looks defeated already.

“Then we’ll have to make her listen.”

“The way we made Tori listen to us?” He’s giving up. Just like that. This isn’t the Toby I’ve known for seventeen years.

“Look, we’ll deal with Tori, but right now this is more important.” I take his hand and squeeze it.

He looks at me, but he doesn’t smile or show any sign of hope. “I’m sorry you’re getting dragged into this. First I ruin your friendship with my sister, and now you’re going to be labeled as the girl who’s dating a—”

I press my finger to his lips. “Don’t say it. It’s not true.” I lower my finger and kiss his lips, just a soft, quick kiss.

“I know that, and thank God you do too. But that’s not going to matter much after Friday.”

“She can’t do this. It’s crazy. It’s beyond being a bitch.”

He grabs my hand. “Becca, please don’t start yelling. I’m barely holding it together. If you lose it, I won’t be able to hang on.”

I take a deep breath. He’s right. I need to control myself. We’ll never think of a way out of this if we’re both screaming and wanting to rip Meredith’s hair out.

Someone knocks on my door, and I instinctively pull away from Toby. Mom and Dad know he’s tutoring me, but Dad isn’t exactly okay with Toby being in my room alone with me. Dad’s the epitome of overprotective.

“Come in.”

Dad pokes his head into the room. “Just wanted to see if you two wanted some hot chocolate. I was thinking of making some.”

Hot chocolate? Seriously, Dad? I’m sure this is just the first of many interruptions he has planned until Toby goes home. “No, we’re—”

“That sounds great, Mr. Daniels,” Toby says.

Dad smiles and nods. “What about you, pumpkin?” Another Dad tactic. Call me by the nickname he gave me when I was four.

“Sure, Dad. Sounds good.”

He nods again. “I’ll be right back.” He closes the door over but doesn’t click it shut.

Toby laughs. “I needed that.”

I get up and close the door all the way. “What? Hot chocolate?”

“No. A good laugh. He doesn’t trust me at all, does he?”

I sit back down on the bed. “Don’t feel bad. He doesn’t trust any guy where I’m concerned.”

“My dad’s pretty protective of Tori too. She’s lucky she’s dating Ryder. Dad backs off because he assumes I’m hanging out with them since Ryder’s my friend.”

I wonder if Tori realizes that. If she does, it’s not enough to make her forgive us. Thinking about Tori isn’t helping at all. My mood plummets, and I didn’t even think that was possible.

“Your dad is going to hate me when Meredith makes her announcement.”

I didn’t even think about that. What will Mom and Dad think? I hope they won’t believe the lies, but why wouldn’t they at least worry about me being with Toby when that kind of accusation is going around?

I throw my arms around him, just wanting to touch him, feel him close to me. “I’m not giving you up. No matter what. I don’t care if I have to sneak around so my parents don’t know we’re together.”

He pulls away from me. “I don’t want you doing that. I ruined one of your relationships already. I’m not going to ruin your family too. I can’t handle that.”

“Then we can’t let this happen. We have to talk to Meredith and convince her not to lie to everyone.” I cup his face in my hands and stare into his eyes. “I’m not losing you. Not after everything that’s happened.”

He places his hands on mine and sighs. He doesn’t believe we can do this. That thought breaks my heart.

***

Toby and I decide to confront Meredith during fifth period. She has study hall too, just not with me. I sneak out after Mrs. Engleberg nods off and text Toby.

Becca: Ready?

 

Toby: Yes and no.

 

Becca: Get Meredith. Say whatever you need to get her to the stage. I’ll meet you there.

 

Toby: Wish me luck.

 

Becca: Good luck.

 

He’s going to try to appeal to the part of Meredith that once cared about him. He’s texting her to meet him in our spot. We both figured she’d like that. I’m going to hide in the wings and watch. I’m pretty much backup if Toby can’t get through to her. I’m hoping he doesn’t need me to convince her because my tactics aren’t going to be pretty.

When I get to the stage, I hide to the side where there are plenty of shadows, but I’ll be able to see and hear everything. It feels like an eternity before Toby shows up. I can tell he’s nervous by the way he keeps squeezing his hands into fists. I want to tell him to relax, but I’m too afraid to say anything since I don’t know where Meredith is, or if she’s even going to show.

Toby texts me and briefly glances in my direction.

Toby: She said she’s coming.

 

Becca: Good. We’re going to convince her.

 

Toby: I love you.

 

Becca: I love you too.

 

Meredith walks backstage. “What do you want, Toby?”

“We need to talk.” His voice shakes.

“If you’re thinking of trying to change my mind, you’re wasting your time.”

“You know it’s a lie. Why would you do this? I thought you cared about me. At one point, I know you did.” He steps closer to her, and the desperation in his voice breaks my heart.

“That was a long time ago. Before you dumped me for that nobody.”

I take a deep breath to keep from rushing out there and showing her just how much of a somebody I really am.

“Don’t talk about her like that. You don’t get to say anything about her. Just leave her out of it.”

“She won’t be left out when this all goes down. You know that, right? It’s not just my life you tried to ruin. You’re ruining hers too.”

“No.” I don’t mean to say it out loud, but I can’t help it. It just comes out. I step out of the shadows and toward Meredith. “You’re doing this. You ruined your own reputation when you made Toby pretend to date you again. You’re trying to ruin his life now with this blatant lie. And if I go down with him that will be your doing too.”

“I’m pretty sure I can live with that.” She crosses her arms, not caring at all that she’s hurting either one of us.

“And what are you going to do when we prove you’re lying? Everyone will hate you. No guy will date you after a lie like that. You’re going to be ruining your own life too.”

She lowers her arms. “And how are you going to prove I’m lying? It’s my word against his. You weren’t there, Becca. You have no idea. I’m surprised you’d date a guy who’d force a girl to sleep with him and then kick her to the curb anyway.”

“I didn’t do that. You came on to me!” Toby’s shaking. He’s not just pissed; he’s terrified. “I never even brought up sex. You did. And I turned you down three times before…” He looks at me and stops, and I’m thankful for that. I don’t want the details. I don’t need them. I already know Meredith is the one who’s lying.

“Tell yourself what you’d like. Whatever you need to do to sleep better at night.” She turns and tries to walk away, but I grab her arm.

“Wait!”

She glares at my hand on her. “Get your hand off me before I get you suspended.” I lower my hand because I know she’ll do it. “Look at you two.” She scoffs. “You’re perfect for each other.”

For once I agree with her. “Get out of here. There’s obviously no reasoning with you. You’ve completely lost your mind.”

“And you’re about to lose everything.” She walks off the stage, and I go to Toby. He’s shattered. I can see it in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come out and attacked her like that. I just couldn’t stand there anymore and listen to her…Ugh!” I want to scream. I want to ram my fist straight into a wall. No, straight into Meredith’s face.

“It’s not your fault. She wasn’t going to listen to me anyway. It’s over.”

I grab his hand. “No, it’s not. We still have time. It’s only Tuesday. We have until last period on Friday. We’re not giving up yet.”

“I wish Tori was on our side. She’s the only one who’s ever stood up to Meredith.” His mouth curves into a small, weak smile. “Well, other than when you shoved a wet dishtowel in her mouth and dragged her up the steps.”

“Want me to gag and hog-tie her until after graduation?” It’s a really bad attempt at lightening the mood, but I don’t know what else to do. I’m trying to remain optimistic, but the truth is, I’m pretty much as shot as Toby. Things look worse than bad.

He gives a feeble attempt at a shrug. “Maybe I should talk to Tori. She might be able to stop Meredith.”

“Tori isn’t going to listen to either one of us right now. She’s majorly pissed, and rightfully so.”

“Then I’m screwed.” He steps through the curtain and sits down on the edge of the stage. We always stay hidden in case the security cop walks through, but today, that doesn’t seem to matter much. I sit down next to him.

“We’ll talk to Tori. Together.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He looks away, and I can only imagine what Tori’s been saying about me behind my back.

“Go ahead. You can tell me.”

“This is coming from Jeff. He’s the only one still talking to me after Tori told everyone what we did. Even Ryder’s keeping his distance—though I’m sure that’s because Tori’s making him.”

It’s amazing how quickly Tori’s risen to the top. I’d think Meredith would be too busy trying to fight Tori for control of the school to mess with Toby and me, but maybe that’s exactly it. Maybe she doesn’t think she can fight Tori, and this is the only way to get people to like her better. By pitying her. By sympathizing with her. It’s completely twisted and sick, which means it must be exactly what she’s doing.

“Did you change your mind about wanting to know?”

I nod. It doesn’t matter what Tori’s saying. She has the right to be mad, to lash out. “Meredith is scared of Tori. Think about it. Tori’s gotten too powerful in this school. She’s dating Ryder, who is still ‘big man on campus’ even if he isn’t playing baseball this year.”

“Meredith definitely lost points after Tori told everyone about us. She gets the sympathy vote for being cheated on—even though that’s not at all how it really went down. But still. She’s not the one on top anymore.”

“No, she’s not, so we have to go above her.” I have to beg for Tori’s forgiveness, and then somehow get her to do me a favor afterwards. I’m so screwed.