Текст книги "Our Little Secret"

Автор книги: Ashelyn Drake

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 15 страниц)

Chapter Thirteen

The rest of the week goes by pretty quickly. I ace my make-up Spanish quiz and redeem myself in the eyes of Senora Gomez. I got a C minus on my trig test, which is better than the previous ones, but according to Mr. Rollar, I need to pull all Bs and As on the rest of my tests if I want to pass the class. I assure him that I’m keeping up with my double tutoring sessions and I’ll do better on the next test. He says I have one more chance before he calls home.

The best part of the week is my new plan for fifth period. I have study hall with Mrs. Engleberg, and since she’s getting kind of old, she has a tendency to nod off. So, Toby and I meet behind the stage, which is empty that period. It’s definitely become the highlight of my day. Now that I know he’s in this for more than just making out, I’m happy to do just that every chance we get. I still haven’t agreed to go skydiving, but we both know I will. And it’s fun to make him beg.

“Say yes.” He lightly kisses my neck as I lean against the prop cabinet.

“I’m still thinking about it.”

“You are not.” He kisses my collarbone, sending goose bumps down my arms.

I raise his face. “You think you know me that well, huh?”

He nods and buries his face in my neck.

I gently push him away. “I’m so not going to explain a hickey to your sister.”

“Sorry. Got a little carried away.” He brings his lips to mine, and now it’s my turn to get carried away. I pull his hips closer, closing the space between us. My fingers inch their way up his back, my nails digging into him. I can feel his eyes on me, so I open mine. His fingers climb under my shirt and up my stomach. I close my eyes again, letting him know I’m okay with this, and I deepen the kiss.

I’m completely breathless by the time the bell rings. We don’t usually cut the entire period, so I hope Mrs. Engleberg didn’t notice I was missing. She’ll never believe I was in the bathroom all period.

“I have to go.” I bend down and pick up my bag.

“I reserved our jumps for ten o’clock tomorrow morning.” He gives me a wink and walks off the stage. I smile and shake my head. That boy is too damn cute. I wait a minute before exiting the stage, making sure enough people are between Toby and me in the halls. I’m late getting to my locker because I stop in the bathroom to apply lip gloss and fix my hair. Tori can spot signs of a make-out session from a mile away.

“Where have you been?” she asks, when I finally get to my locker.

“Bathroom.”

“You’re not going to believe this, but I just saw Toby and his lips are red and swollen. You know what that means, right?”

“He got into a fight?” Why do I bother playing dumb?

“No, he was making out with his mystery girl. That means on Monday, we have to find out where he is fifth period.”

There goes my fifth period slice of heaven each day. I shut my locker and start toward class. “Tori, this obsession is crazy. It’s like you’re stalking your brother. Think about that for a second.”

“I’m not stalking him. That would be gross. I’m trying to dig up dirt on him. Totally normal sibling stuff.”

“If you say so. Hey, did Toby say anything else about you and Ryder hanging out?”

“No. I’ve been asking him all week too. I’m starting to think he made it all up.”

“Then why don’t you call Ryder and find out?”

She stops, grabbing my arm, so I stop too. “And look totally desperate? Um, not a chance.”

“Do you want me to ask Toby for you when he tutors me tonight?”

“Yes, please!” She smiles and squeezes my arm before walking into class.

Well, at least she doesn’t have a problem with me talking to Toby about things other than trig. It’s a start.

***

Toby’s cell rings for the third time.

“You can get that if you want.”

He takes the book off his lap and grabs his phone. “No one important.”

“Is it Ryder? Tori is dying for you to set her up with him.”

“Already taken care of.” He turns toward me and cups the side of my face, leaning in for a kiss.

I kiss him quickly and pull back. “What do you mean?”

He groans. “Do we have to talk about my sister? It kind of kills the mood.”

I laugh. “Tell me what I want to know and I promise to put you back in the mood.” I lean forward and kiss his neck.

“Nope. I’m good.” He pulls me into his lap. Sometimes it feels like we’ve been dating forever. Then something happens to remind me we’re not really dating at all. He’s not my boyfriend. He’s my friend I make out with. That’s enough to kill the mood.

I push him back slightly. “Tell me. Please?”

He sighs and leans back against the headboard. “I got her a date with him tomorrow.”

“Doing what?” This must be how he’s going to get her out of the house so we can go skydiving without running into her.

“Early lunch, followed by a matinee, and then probably a lot of making out, if I know Ryder.”

“That really doesn’t bug you? I mean, he’s going to be groping your sister.”

“She’ll probably be doing most of the groping, and I choose not to think about it.” He makes a face, and his cell rings again.

“So, if that’s not Ryder, who is it?” Am I allowed to ask questions like that? I’m not his girlfriend. I don’t have any claim on him.

“You don’t want to know.”

Now I really do. “Tell me anyway.”

He turns the screen so I can see the name. Meredith. She’s calling him again.

“I thought you let her down gently.”

“Maybe too gently. She said she doesn’t believe I’m seeing someone else, and we should talk this through.”

“Talk what through?” Why won’t she just go away? Can’t she, for once, just accept she can’t always have what she wants? Of course I’m not willing to do that now either. I want Tori and Toby in my life, and I’ve been trying to convince myself that’s possible. But maybe this thing with Meredith is proof that it’s not.

“What went wrong in our relationship or something like that,” Toby says, bringing me out of my mental battle.

Their relationship? I didn’t think they ever really had one. “You two didn’t officially date, did you?”

“No. Not at all.”

I try to remember Toby really dating anyone. Holding hands in the hallway. Going to the movies with anyone. Nothing. “You’ve never had a girlfriend.”

“I don’t like titles.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I never really thought that we wouldn’t end up being girlfriend/boyfriend at some point—once Tori was okay with it.

“What’s the big deal? Two people hang out because they enjoy being together. Why label it? It just makes things messy later on.”

“You mean when they break up.”

He shrugs. “The way I see it, if you never really label the relationship, you can’t break up. You just part ways. No hard feelings.”

“Like with Meredith? Do you really think she doesn’t have hard feelings? She’s calling you and trying to work things out. She’s miserable without you.” The realization hits me like a Mack truck. “You slept with her.” I feel sick. My stomach churns, thinking about his hands on her. “You wouldn’t call her your girlfriend, but you slept with her. That’s awful. No, it’s worse than awful. It’s…I can’t even think of a word to describe it.” I scramble out of the bed, being careful not to touch him.

“Becca.” He grabs my arm, but I yank it away.

“I can’t be with someone who uses people like that.”

“I didn’t use her. She knew she wasn’t my girlfriend, and I never made her do anything.”

“I don’t see it that way, and I don’t think Meredith does either.”

“Are you saying I pressured her into…?” He shakes his head. “You know me better than that. Please, tell me you know me better.”

“I thought I did, but I also thought you and I were doing more than just making out.” I struggle to keep my voice low so Tori doesn’t hear us.

He grabs my arms and won’t let me break free. “Becca, look at me. Look at me.”

I refuse because I know what will happen if I do. His blue eyes will win me over. I have every right to be pissed right now, and he needs to know what he did was wrong. “No. I don’t want to hear you try to talk your way out of this.”

“Let me explain, and if you still want to leave, I won’t try to stop you.” He bends his knees and lowers his head so our faces are level. “Please, Bec.”

He’s never called me “Bec” before. He’s trying to wear me down with a cute nickname, but it’s going to take a lot more than that.

“If I was only in this for something physical, I’d let you leave. I wouldn’t bother trying to explain. I’d call Meredith back.”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?” God, he sucks at making up.

“Yes. I’m not that guy. I told you I wasn’t. When Meredith started hanging out with me, I told her I didn’t want a girlfriend, that I’m not the relationship type. She was okay with it.”

“No, she wasn’t. She thought she could change your mind.” Toby’s right. Girls always do think they can change the guys they like. But we’re idiots for thinking it. Meredith is proof.

“I get that now, but that’s not my fault. I was upfront with her.”

Fine. Maybe he was upfront with her, but I’m still majorly hurt. “You never told me that.”

“What?” He furrows his brow, but he loosens his grip on my arms.

“That you didn’t want a relationship.”

“I know.”

“Why? Don’t I deserve the same honesty?”

He lets go of me and sits on his bed. “Of course you do.”

“So then why didn’t you tell me? I want an answer.”

“Because I knew you’d never hang out with me if I told you I don’t do the relationship thing.”

“That’s so the wrong answer, Toby.” Hot tears threaten to spill down my cheeks, but I choke them back and start for the door.

“Just wait. Please.”

I stop, but more because I’m shaking with anger and don’t want to risk having to explain it to Tori on my way out of here. “Why? You just said this means nothing to you. Why would I stay?”

“No, that’s not what I said, and I did try to tell you later on. I said I didn’t know where this was going, and that wasn’t a lie.”

“Yes, it was. You knew exactly where it was going. The only place you let your relationships go. Nowhere.” I’m trying to keep my composure, but I’m dying inside. I thought I was finally getting my dream guy, but maybe Toby isn’t at all who I thought he was.

“That’s not true. I knew you were different. I know you. You aren’t the same as the other girls at school. You’ve always been part of my life. I thought maybe…”

“Maybe what? Toby, you have five seconds before I walk out that door and we’re done.”

“You’re saying we’re not?” His eyes are hopeful.

God, guys can be so dumb sometimes. “Would I be here if we were?”

He nods. “I thought maybe I could be in a relationship with you. Call you my girlfriend.”

There’s nothing romantic about a maybe, but I know this is a huge deal for him. He’s never called anyone his girlfriend, and the fact that he thought he could call me that…well, I don’t feel all that angry anymore.

“Promise me something.”

He stares into my eyes. “What?”

“Don’t call me that unless you’re sure it’s what you want. Don’t say it because you think it’s what I want to hear. I won’t end up like Meredith.”

“I promise.” He reaches for my hands, and I let him take them.

I sigh, not sure if I’m making the right decision, but I don’t want to lose him. He’s right about us being a huge part of each other’s lives. How many people end up with lifelong friends? My parents don’t have any. They don’t even talk to the people they went to college with anymore. Toby’s just as important to me as Tori is.

“Are you still mad at me?”

I shake my head. “I guess not, but you need to tell Meredith that it’s really over.”

“I will.” He tugs my hands a little, asking me to join him on the bed. I sit down. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”

I think about the first time we kissed—how he asked for permission. The memory breaks down the last of the wall I put up when I realized he slept with Meredith. “Yes.”

He presses his lips to mine, and it’s exactly like our first kiss. Long, passionate, but at the same time soft and sweet.

“Knock, knock, math nerds,” Tori calls, opening the door. The door I thought was locked.

Chapter Fourteen

Toby and I pull apart as fast as we can, but his watch catches on the bottom of my shirt and tears it. I cover the rip with my arm.

“Um, I guess my doorknob isn’t sticking anymore,” Toby says. I don’t think he’s breathing at all.

Tori shrugs and examines her nails, not noticing how awkward Toby and I both look. “I told Dad about it. He must have fixed it for you.”

Mr. Michaels is the least handy person I know. If he fixed the door, it explains why it won’t lock anymore.

“Thanks.” Toby stands up and runs his hand through his hair. “Well, I think we’re good for today, Becca. Good job.”

I don’t know how to get up without Tori seeing my ripped shirt. I grab my bag and widen my eyes at Toby. Luckily, he takes the hint and grabs my books for me. I shove them inside my bag and hold it in front of me.

“Have a good night, you two,” Toby says.

I walk toward Tori, and she leans in to whisper, “Did you ask him about Ryder?”

“Oh.” I turn to Toby. “Would you please tell your sister about Ryder? Put her out of her misery.”

“Hey. What, are you two ganging up on me now?” She elbows me. “You’re my friend, remember?”

“Relax,” Toby says. “Becca was only trying to make me tell you.”

“Tell me what?” She steps into the room.

“Ryder wants to know if you’ll go to an early lunch, a movie, and then whatever.”

She squeals. “Of course! Especially the whatever part!”

Toby gives me an “I told you so” look.

“So, is he going to call me? Did you give him my number?” She looks like she’s about to burst out of her own skin.

“Yes, I gave him your number. He’ll probably call you tonight.”

Tori grabs my arm and tugs me into the hall. “Come on. You have to help me pick out an outfit.”

I look back over my shoulder at Toby. He smiles as I’m dragged off to Tori’s room. I can’t hide my shirt all night, even with Tori in her Ryder-induced state of euphoria, so I rack my brain for an excuse.

“I knew he’d call. I knew it. We just clicked last weekend, you know?” She opens her closet and I put my bag down on the bed. Better to get this over with right away. She flings aside hanger after hanger. “Ugh, I need something really sexy but that doesn’t look like I’m trying to be sexy. Know what I mean?”

Not at all. “I’m sure whatever you wear will be fine.”

“What about that shirt you bought?” She wheels around to face me. “Did you return it?”

“No. I sort of forgot to.”

“Good. I’m borrowing it.”

“But I’m not keeping it.”

“Then I’ll buy it from you.” Her eyes lower. “Hey, what happened to your shirt?”

“Oh, I got it caught on the spiral of my notebook. I didn’t know it was caught, and I ended up tearing my shirt when I threw my notebook in frustration.” I hold my breath, waiting to see if she buys it.

“You really need a new tutor. I know I keep saying it, but it must be torture studying with Toby.” She searches her dresser and pulls out a pair of jeans that are so tight on her they look painted on.

“No.” I shake my head. “That’s going to look like you’re trying too hard.”

“Says the girl wearing a ripped t-shirt.”

“I’m trying to help you. Be nice.”

“Yes, but I want to look sexy, and you choose comfort over sexy every time.”

“Touché.” I freeze as the word comes out of my mouth.

“What did you just say?” She looks up from the jeans with wide eyes.

“Nothing. Why?”

She steps toward me. “You said ‘touché.’ Toby says that all the time.”

“Does he?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know. This is bad, Becca. You’re starting to act like him and sound like him.”

“No, I’m not.” I force a laugh.

“Yeah, you are. You’re picking on me, which you never did before he started tutoring you, and now you say ‘touché?’”

“Okay, I guess maybe I got it from him. I don’t see what the big deal is, though.”

“That’s scary.”

I don’t feel like getting into this again. The more I defend Toby the more suspicious she’s going to get. “Whatever,” I say, using her favorite word.

She smiles and goes back to looking for the perfect pair of jeans for her date.

***

Saturday morning I’m up early, expecting to jump out of a moving plane with Toby. My stomach is queasy as I walk into the kitchen, holding the permission form I printed off the Internet last night. I’m not sure who to ask, Mom or Dad. I don’t think either one will go for me risking my own life like this. But maybe that’s a good thing. I’ll get out of staring down death from ten thousand feet in the air, and Toby and I can do something else together.

“What do you have there, sweetheart?” Dad asks, pouring himself a bowl of cereal.

“Oh, um, it’s a permission slip.”

“Something for school?” Mom asks, bringing her coffee to the table.

“No. Some of the kids from school are going skydiving today, and they asked me to come.”

Mom nearly spills her coffee. “What on earth would make you want to jump out of an airplane?”

Dad laughs and brings his cereal and orange juice to the table. “I can understand why she’d want to. I did some pretty crazy things when I was her age.”

“Great, Jack, put ideas in her head.” Mom shoots him a look.

“Did you ever go skydiving, Dad?” I sit down because my knees are feeling shaky.

“Once. I was a sophomore in college, and the guys in my dorm decided to go on Halloween.”

“How appropriate,” Mom says, squeezing her coffee mug. “What better day to tempt death?”

“Would you relax?” Dad removes her hands from the mug. “If you squeeze that any tighter, you’re going to break it.”

“Relax? Our only child wants to jump out of a plane and you want me to relax?”

“You jump tandem the first several times. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“Tandem? What’s that?” It sounds like a trig term, which doesn’t make me excited at all.

Dad takes a sip of juice. “You have an instructor strapped to your back. They do everything, and you just enjoy the ride.”

That doesn’t sound too bad. I won’t have to worry about screwing up.

“And what if the chute fails?” Mom asks.

“Rarely happens.” Dad shrugs one shoulder, but Mom looks horrified.

“You know, I think maybe I’ll give this some more thought.” I stand up, feeling like my stomach has already plummeted a few thousand feet.

“Good idea,” Mom says as I head back upstairs.

I dial Toby.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

“That’s new.”

“I read it off the container of eggs.”

I laugh. “Making another big family breakfast this morning?”

“What can I say? I’m that nice.”

“I bet Tori’s being nice to you now that you got her a date with Ryder.”

“Somewhat. I just hope he doesn’t dump her in a week. She’ll rip my eyes out and then shove them down Ryder’s throat.”

“Wait a second. If you’re making eggs, then you’re in the kitchen.”

“You catch on quick.”

“Where’s Tori?”

“Dining room.”

My pulse quickens. “Why’d you answer your phone then?” I should’ve texted him first.

“Don’t sweat it. She’s eating.”

My call waiting beeps. “Hang on. I’m getting another call.” I check the screen. “Oh God! It’s Tori. I’ve got to go.”

“No, um, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” His voice is funny, and I can picture Tori in the room with him, watching.

“Okay, hang on. And keep talking. Pretend I’m still on the line.”

He laughs. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Be right back.” I click over to Tori. “Hello?”

“You’re never going to believe this.”

“Good morning to you, too.”

“Yeah, yeah. Toby is on the phone with the mystery girl.”

“How do you know?” God, I hope he’s doing a good job talking to dead air.

“I just walked into the kitchen to see what was taking so long with the eggs, and I heard him say, ‘Good morning, beautiful.’”

“Doesn’t it say that on the egg container?”

“So?”

“Maybe he was just reading it.”

“That’s so weird.”

“What?”

“That’s what he told her.”

Crap! I’m such an idiot sometimes. I force a laugh. “I guess you were right last night. I’m starting to talk like him. Weird.”

“Yeah, weird all right.”

“So, what time is your date?”

“Ten. Are you even listening to me?”

“Yeah, I’m just not convinced he’s really talking to a girl. Can you hear what he’s saying now?”

“Hang on. Here, I’ll hold the phone out so you can hear, too.” I picture her hiding behind the center island, holding up her phone. Toby’s voice is quiet, but I can make out what he’s saying. “Yeah, I can go. I just have to clean up this mess, and then I’ll meet you there. Okay. Sounds good.”

I wait for Tori to get back on the line. “Did you hear that?” she whispers.

“Yeah. Sounds like he made plans with someone. Probably Jeff.”

“Why would he call Jeff beautiful?”

“I told you it was probably just him reading the eggs.” I look at the clock. “Hey, are you dressed and ready? It’s almost time for your date.”

“Crap! Got to go!”

When she hangs up, I see both calls are dropped. Toby’s gone. I’m going to have to wait for him to call me to change our plans.

I eat some breakfast and take a warm shower. Still no call from Toby. I don’t think he’d pick me up, even with Tori out on a date. It’s still too risky. Where is he?

My cell rings at a quarter to ten, and I grab it. “There you are. I was wondering where you were. You just hung up before.”

“Yeah, I had to get ready for my date.”

I hold the phone away from me and check the screen. Tori. Damn it! I thought it said Toby.

“Um, I know, but I knew you’d call again before you left.” I smack my fist against my forehead.

“You did?”

“Yup. I think I know my own best friend.”

“Weird. I didn’t even know I was going to call you.”

I force a laugh. “So, what’s up?”

“Red ruby or watermelon blast?”

Lip gloss. She called me to ask which lip gloss she should wear. “Which one did you have on last weekend? Ryder seemed to like it.”

She squeals. “Genius! Red ruby it is. Hey, what are you doing today?”

“Not sure yet.” At least I can keep from lying right now. I don’t know what Toby and I will do if we don’t skydive. “You should go. Ryder’s going to be there any second.”

“I know, but I have to ask you something first.”

“Okay. What is it?”

“Why did my brother call you last night?”