Текст книги "Rock"

Автор книги: Anyta Sunday

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 12 страниц)

Dad, north. Me, east. Annie, south. Ernie, west. Breezes stir, and it’s like we are lying on lodestones, a

natural magnetic iron ore that makes the needle spin wildly, jerking back and forth, and none of us know

which direction it will land.

When Dad sniffs, I shuffle closer. We’ll figure out where to go from here. I know we will be okay.

“She loves Tui, remember?”

His sob returns to a laugh. “She loves you, eh?”

We lie like this until I glance toward the house and catch Jace leaning with his elbows on the side

of the balcony, looking down at us. He’s too far away for me to guess what he’s thinking.

He’s too far away. He should be here too.

Still holding my dissertation, I sit up slowly. The back of my shirt is damp from the cool grass.

“How about I race out with Annie and grab us some take out?” Ernie says.

Dad starts to protest that Lila won’t be able to join in—but then he nods. “Yeah. That’d be great.”

He spots what I’m holding and points. “What’s this?”

I pass it to him. “My dissertation.”

He flips through the hundred and fifty pages, and then shakes his head. “You get your brains from

your mum. This looks impressive.” He flips to the dedication page. He swallows then claps the

dissertation shut and hands it back to me, cupping the back of my neck and leading me inside the house.

“I’m proud of you, Cooper.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“I’m going to run up and show Lila.”

“Do that.”

No music greets me when I run upstairs, and a quick peek at the balcony reveals Jace has left. I

want to find him first to show him my work; I want to be near him for a few moments but he’s not in his

room, either, so I head to Lila’s.

I stop right outside Lila’s door when I hear Jace speaking in her room.

“I mean, I don’t know—” I sneak a look through the open door. Pillows prop Lila up and she’s

rubbing the bluestone necklace as if it were rosary beads.

Jace sits forward on the rocking chair, hands clasped and resting at her side. He stares at the stone

too.

“It’s okay, Jace.”

“No, it’s not. You’re meant to be here.”

I flatten my back against the hall wall, then slide down until I’m sitting. I thumb the pages of my

dissertation as I eavesdrop.

“I can’t keep having this conversation,” she says quietly. “It takes too much energy. All I want is

for you to be happy. Can you do that? Can you be brave for me?”

A long pause.

“You’re right, Mum. I’m sorry.” He plants a quick kiss on her. “I want that too.”

“Tell me more about your travels. What was the stupidest thing you did?”

“Cheers, Mum.”

She chuckles. “Come on, then, spit it out.”

“I could never figure out the underground toll gates so I kept banging into them rather than through

them. Looked like a right idiot.”

“Bet you did.”

A laugh.

“I also left my luggage in a bus in Edinburgh and spent the next two days tracking it down.”

“That sucks.”

“But I had to find it because I had valuables in there.”

“Anything else? Come on, something embarrassing!”

“You’re cruel.”

“My job.”

“Fine. I almost got robbed in Rome. Some guy had my backpack and was heading out of the train. I

grabbed my suitcase and started running after him, yelling for him to give it back. Well, it turned out I

was wearing my backpack.”

Another soft laugh.

“In my defense, I was jetlagged as hell.”

“That has to be the stupidest thing,” she says.

Pause. “It’s not though.”

“What was then?”

The rocking chair creaks and thumps against the wall.

“It’s okay,” Lila says. “You don’t have to tell me everything. What was the best part of your trip?”

“Finding this,” he says, followed by a rustle of movement.

Lila whispers so it’s hard to catch. “Beautiful. Where did you find it?”

Jace whispers too softly for me to make out.

“Want to watch a movie?”

“Yeah, Jace. I’d love that. So long as it has a happily ever after.”

rhodochrosite

After the nurse tells us to prepare for Lila’s passing in the next few weeks, Jace disappears into the

bush, which glows with pale morning light.

I shove my feet into a pair of Dad’s old shoes—the nearest available—and chase after him.

He must have broken into a run because I can’t see him through the gaps in the trees. I follow the

creek around the bend to the cave.

He’s inside, huddled in the corner, his heavy breathing strained. For a moment, we’re kids again,

and I’m looking at myself panicking in the closet. But Jace lifts his head and fast-forwards me twelve

years.

I kneel next to him and rub his back. “It’ll be okay. We’ll make it through this. We’re a team: you,

me, Annie, and Dad.”

“Because we’re family,” Jace says.

“Because we love each other.”

His breath hitches. He takes a long few minutes to stop trembling. When he does, he leans back

against the smooth, damp wall and rolls his neck until he’s looking at me.

It’s dark in the cave, but not as dark as when we come out at night; the glowworms don’t seem to

glow as much either.

“I want to forget everything, Cooper. Maybe laugh again. Just for a day.”

“Okay,” I say. I’ll give you laughter in times of sadness. “I promise.”

* * *

I think quickly, and half an hour later, I tell Dad I’m stealing Jace for the day and we’ll be back in

the evening. He raises a brow then nods, watching me prepare a daypack with the essentials: water,

food, and a picnic blanket.

I pull Jace from the loneliness of his room, my hand wrapped firmly around his wrist. “We’re going

hiking.”

“Now?”

“Now.”

In ten minutes, we’re hurtling down the street toward adventure. An hour later, we arrive at

Rimutaka Forest Park.

We pile out of the car, and I strap the daypack on. We’ve been quiet during the drive, but the

contemplative quiet. The one that heals.

We hike through the bush, chasing our shadows over a long, narrow swing bridge, and over hills to

the valley.

It’s late afternoon and few words have passed between us when our feet hit the rocky river edge. I

lead him over the rocks, to a stretch where the stones are smaller, shifting under our steps.

Surrounded by majestic hills, a glittering river, and sun-warmed stones beneath us, this is the

perfect spot.

I stop and so does Jace. He breathes in deeply as I take off my backpack, pull out a blanket and lay

it over a bed of pebbles. The stones sink with us as we sit, but it’s comfortable the way they mold to our

position.

I pull out leftovers from last night’s dinner—macaroni and cheese.

I hand him a fork and scoot closer so we can share. Our forks clink as we shovel down the pasta.

It’s cold, but cheesy and delicious.

Jace drops some on his pants, pinches the insubordinate pasta and pops it into his mouth, licking

this thumb. When we’re done eating, he casually rests his elbows on his knees and watches a flock of

birds lift into flight and disperse in the sky.

He sighs and speaks softly, “I asked Mum about my dad.”

I wrap my arms around myself, hoping futilely to contain a shiver. “And?”

Jace scrubs his face, and his fingers drift over his forehead and dig into his hair. Toward his knees,

he continues, “She said she’s sorry that she can’t give me more details about him.”

I watch the river water carve its memories on the rocks below as Jace’s words carve into me.

His voice stumbles. “I asked her what his name was again. ‘Roger, right?’ I said, and Mum nodded.

Said that was right. Roger.” His blue eyes brighten in the warm afternoon sun. “But there was never any

Roger. I made up the name to see if she’d trip up, and she tripped.”

I let out a slow, uneven breath. “That doesn’t mean anything, Jace. The nurse said the last stages of

cancer make it hard to remember things. People can get really confused.”

He’s staring at me but I can’t look at him. I don’t want to see the apology that might be there. The

apology and the final goodbye to us.

“Confused,” he repeats, and I close my eyes. A half-hearted breeze stirs between us like it’s dying.

Like it’s a sign.

“Let’s go,” I say. I resist the urge to throw a rock in the river.

“No.”

I open my eyes. Jace is shaking his head. “No. I’m not ready to go back yet. Another hour. Please.”

Another hour before we have to go home and face reality once more.

“Besides,” Jace says, putting on a brave smile. “I haven’t laughed yet.”

His sadness overwhelms me, and I yearn to eliminate it in any way possible.

“Lie down,” I tell him. He frowns slightly. “Trust me.”

He lies down.

“Close your eyes,” I say, feeling for small, flat pebbles. “Are they closed?”

“Yep.”

I crawl over to him and gently set one of the pebbles between his eyebrows. “Ideally this would be

rhodochrosite, but concentrate on the weight and nothing else.”

“Roadoc—what now?”

I press lightly against the stone and draw back, careful not to graze him but keeping close. “Shhh.

I’ll tell you later.”

Rhodochrosite. A magnesium carbonate mineral, light pink to reddish-pink, found in fractures of

sedimentary and metamorphic rocks. A three or four on the Mohs scale.

The stone is used for healing loneliness, loss, a pained heart.

I keep still next to him, saying nothing, just admiring his smooth sun-kissed skin, the etches of

humor at his eyes, the sharp angle of his nose, and his resting palms open in a show of complete trust.

After ten minutes, his lips curve into a curious grin. “Cooper?”

“Yeah?”

“What are we doing?”

“Did your skin prickle? Did you feel that rush like you do when you fall?”

He opens his eyes. “Are you sure that’s the stone?”

I lean forward, and our eyes lock. He breathes in as I breathe out, as though he’s pulling me closer.

I press the stone against his forehead and a shiver rolls through his body.

Before I make a fool of myself, I remove the stone. “We should get going so we make it back

before dark.”

ruby

Her birthstone.

They say rubies restore youth and vitality.

I say they lie.

Lila passes away two weeks later.

sapphire

At the funeral, our family comes forward one by one to say a few words.

Dad stands next to the closed casket and reads a letter Lila wrote him when he was eighteen and

living in the States.

“It’s a very short letter,” he says, smiling at the yellowed note in his hand. “She sent it via airmail.”

He swallows a few times. “It says I miss you.”

He holds up the paper. “That’s it, just those three words.”

He turns to the casket and touches it. His silent cry racks his body and his voice comes out warbled.

“I miss you too. I love you.”

Annie sniffs next to me and I squeeze her hand tighter. Jace is on her other side and Annie is

holding his hand too.

But Annie pulls away from us and helps steer Dad to the pew. Jace grabs him into a hug, but his

eyes find mine over Dad’s shoulder.

Annie clears her voice and speaks into the microphone. “For a long while, Lila and I didn’t get

along,” she says. “I pushed her away and refused to acknowledge she was important to my dad.” She

looks over at us, lingering on Dad. “I am sorry for that, and I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate her every day

she was around. She was a clever, funny, intelligent woman, and I wish I had known her longer. None of

us can know what the future will bring. Lila has taught me to love every day, and to love fiercely.”

Jace goes up next but his words aren’t said, they are sung and played on the grand piano set on the

other side of the casket.

It’s U2, because it was her favorite.

The church gives a collective sigh when he finishes. When he doesn’t move from the piano stool, I

wipe my tears and move over to him. I don’t coax him off his stool; I sit next to him and pass him the

stone I brought with me. Sapphire. “It’s her favorite,” I whisper in his ear. He clutches it.

Sitting in front of a sea of black dresses and suits, I pull out my speech and angle the microphone

Jace used.

He’s warm next to me as I flick through my cue cards. I squint but I can’t read what I wrote. I stare

at the mourners and focus on Dad and Annie.

Jace is leaning forward, resting his arms against his thighs, staring at the stone. His tears glisten as

they fall onto the piano keys.

“She wasn’t my mother.” The words leap into the air and burst through the speakers to the far back

of the church, where stained glass windows glow bright red and yellow.

I close my eyes and pray. Today I believe in God. Today I believe Lila can hear me. “You weren’t

my mum,” I say again, “but you were mine too.”

Jace stirs. When I open my eyes, he’s looking right at me. His eyes are bright and he’s trembling.

“It’s true,” he whispers. Though his words are for me, the microphone gifts them to the church.

“What is?” I ask, pushing the microphone away from us.

“This.” He fingers the piano keys and starts playing. The chords choke a cry out of me. The song is

so tender it hurts. It’s as though Jace is holding my soul with his hands and kissing it.

He doesn’t sing this time, just plays, but the words are there anyway.

It’s too much. Everything.

And I—can’t.

Can’t process it.

Abruptly, I leave the piano stool and hurry back to our pew. I want to run out of here. I want to yell

and shake him, but . . . Lila.

For Lila I stay strong.

I stare at my shoes. Stare at her polished casket. Stare into the air as if my next breath will give me

the answers.

I feel Jace watching me but I do not acknowledge the complicated web of feelings. Not in the

church. Not at the cemetery. Not at the wake.

When night falls and the house breathes its first sign of peace, I grab a jacket and head out the back

door. A strong breeze stings my eyes and freeze-dries the tears at my temples and jaw.

I’m no fool. I know Jace is following me. The rustle of foliage and the crunch of his step tells me

he isn’t in a hurry to catch me.

I need to find a rock.

I stop outside our cave, at the edge of the creek. I sit on a flat boulder that rocks like a seesaw. I

filter river stones through my fingers and look for the perfect one.

They’re too big, too small, too chipped, too broken. None are right. None are what I need.

From the corner of my eye, I catch Jace approaching from the path to my side. He sits on the other

side of my boulder, lifting up my side until we balance.

I adjust to the position and continue sifting stones through my fingers.

“It’s true,” he says quietly. The vibrations of his song play inside me, beating out its rhythm on my

heart, in my gut, in my groin.

More stones slip through my fingers.

Jace takes the back of my hand and slowly threads his fingers through mine. Jace dips our hands

into the cool stones until my hand is again full of brown and grey stones. But this time, they don’t slide

through my fingers because Jace’s fingers are there to catch them.

The warmth of his hand under mine sends shivers to my fingertips and toes.

Jace gently brings my hand to his lap. One by one, he picks up the stones and drops them until only

one is left.

Jace traces around the stone, tickling my palm. He stops circling and closes my hand around the

stone. “This,” he says, his voice cracking. “This is it.”

My heart beats harder and I raise my head to look at him. His eyes are swollen from tears and grief

but there’s something else too. Something that glitters. Something that pulls more shivers out of me—

“I love you, Cooper,” he says. “I am in love with you, and I have been since I was fifteen and we

watched the glowworms together.”

I look over his shoulder to the mouth of the cave.

His words draw me back. “The first moment I saw you, I knew my life would never be the same,

though I didn’t know how much until later.”

He shifts enough to bring us closer, and the rock gently rolls. His tender gaze strokes my face.

“You are my rock.” He squeezes my hand the way I squeezed his on the soccer field at Newtown

High. “I wish I’d been brave enough to tell Mum that.” His other hand cups the side of my face. I lean

into it. “But you can bet I’m going to be brave enough from now on.” He leans in and inhales deeply but

stops on the cusp of a kiss. “Do I . . . do we . . . is there a chance for an us?”

“Our story never sank,” I murmur. “The breezes carried it for us.”

“Sorry?”

I turn my head and kiss his palm. “Yes.”

“Yes?” He leaps up from the boulder and pulls me with him. “Yes?”

His sudden, deep laughter echoes in the stone still clasped in my hand. I’m laughing too. I grasp his

wrist and tug him close. His breath catches and the laughter stops but the smile remains in the way he

rakes over my face and lingers at my lips.

“Come,” he says, the words fanning over the side of my face and landing on the sensitive spot at

my ear. “We have something we need to do.”

* * *

Jace unearths the brown envelope from his desk drawer and takes it out to our shared balcony. He

rests it on the railing between us.

The tiny flap at the top of the envelope, where Jace and I tried opening it, winks in the moonlight.

“There’s too much weight between us.” He pulls out a lighter and flicks it on. The flame burns

brightly, dancing orange and blue, twisting to the song of the wind. “But maybe we can make some of it

go away?”

The flame bows and leaps. “You want to burn the truth?”

“No,” he says. “I want to finally live it. I had to travel the world to piece it all together, but the truth

isn’t in this envelope.”

He’s waiting for me. He won’t do it unless I want it too. Do you care?

“I don’t care,” I say softly. “Whatever it says won’t change how I feel. How I’ve always felt. If it

weighs on you, burn it.”

He picks up the edge and hesitates. “You’re right, it doesn’t matter.”

The light snaps off.

Jace shifts, fingers stroking the top flap. He wedges one finger under and slides it to the other side.

The flap waves in another breeze. He dips his fingers in and starts to draw out the papers, but I cage his

hand with mine.

What if he thinks it doesn’t matter now but later it does?

Do I want to risk that?

I free the lighter from his other hand and command the flame to rise once more. I do not hesitate. I

draw his hand away and light the envelope. It catches the flame and it curls with the fire. Cinders break

off and float away on a breeze.

We watch each other over the burning DNA results. My skin prickles from head to toe.

When there’s nothing left except us and ash, relief washes away the tension in my shoulders.

Jace closes the distance, brings me in close, and wraps me in his warmth. We hug like this, shifting

from foot to foot and nuzzling closer, closer—

I press a kiss under his ear. It’s soft and light but only for a second. Jace stills.

We look into each other’s eyes, and much like the first time, we stir up a whirlwind of passion.

Kissing, touching, and stumbling to his bed, we collapse. Jace lays on top of me, kicks off his shoes and

pushes mine off with his toes as he kisses me deeply.

Our cocks align and we rut against each other through our pants. Somehow I work off his jacket

and our shirts.

He pulls me into a sitting position, straddling my hips. He kisses me once more and leans over to

pull something out from under his bed.

I rest my forehead against his shoulder and kiss his upper arm. His skin pebbles against my lips.

“What are you doing?” I whisper.

He pulls out a mirrored mask from under the bed and dangles it between us. When it spins, it hits

both our noses.

“This time when we make love,” he says softly. “There’ll be no pretending.”

* * *

Raw, honest, naked. His hot skin presses against mine as we kiss. My fingers push through his hair,

squeeze his neck and skate over his shoulder blades. I press him closer. His greenstone hook is cool

between us, imprinting on my chest.

Jace is right. This is it.

Just us. No masks. No double meanings.

I suck on his neck, drawing in his scent to make it mine. My lips work up to his ear. Our hearts

hammer like music.

I capture his ear lobe and tease it with my teeth. His hips swivel and his hard cock slides against

mine. “I need to be close.”

Jace pulls back enough to look down at me. The heat, passion, and need in his eyes reflects my

own. A swelling tenderness—

He dips and kisses me lightly. “I need that too.”

He kisses me again as he rips open the condom package. My cock throbs as he squeezes me and

rolls it on. He’s generous with the lube and takes his time stroking it onto me. I gasp at the firm, slick

touch, and desire plows through me, jerking me up. I cup his neck and kiss him again, and push him

down onto the bed. My mouth roams his chest, lightly biting his nipples. My fingers run through the

lube at my cock and push at his entrance.

I’m impatient. Needy. I try to be gentle but I drive my fingers into him. He’s pleading me for more.

Nothing is enough. A decade of heat begging to be released.

“Please, Cooper. I need you.”

I align myself and pause, cock nudging his entrance. Our eyes meet. “I love you, Jace.”

I press into him. We both moan. He’s so tight, gripping me so hard. His hands are on my hips,

urging me closer—

Another moan.

Memories crash into me with every thrust. We’re standing in the cave on our toes, arms wide,

imagining what it would be like to fall into the stars.

Like this. It feels like this.

We’re at Rainbow’s End, sitting in the stern of a giant swinging ship. It rocks us so high I think

we’re going full circle. For a second, it hovers. Gravity steals my scream and tickles every inch of me

senseless before slamming back into me as we fall.

I thrust again and again and again, and Jace lets out small pleasured grunts. He arches into me, head

slamming against the pillow as if he’s lost to everything but the love and the mounting pleasure between

us.

I scratch along his arms and urge them upwards, where I knot our hands together. My hips swivel,

my thrusts short and slow.

We are talking on the phone, one of our weekly conversations when he first moved. I am lying on

his bed, the heel of my hand resting on my hard groin.

Then we are in the cave again, and I’m confessing my feelings for him.

As if he can read my mind, he lifts his head and catches my lips into a kiss. “Cooper!”

My name falling so deep and urgent from his lips spikes our passion toward climax. I take hold of

his cock and stroke him in time to my thrusts. The build of his orgasm makes his ass clutch my cock.

We ride the last waves as they peak, peak, peak—

“Jace!” I moan as my orgasm rushes over me, zipping from my groin to my fingertips. Jace lets out

a cry and his body jerks. He spills warm come between us.

I collapse on top of him, his breath panting at my ear and tickling me into a shiver. Jace wraps his

arms around me.

“Beautiful.”

I shift to look at him. He’s looking right back at me. No shame, no doubt, no question in his eyes.

Perhaps he sees one in mine, because he touches my cheek. “I’m sorry I was such a fool. I’m sorry

I thought it had to matter. It doesn’t. All I Want Is You.”

pounamu

Pounamu—also known as nephrite, greenstone or jade—is a balancing stone used to ensure

harmonious relationships.

Uplift and erosion bring these metamorphic stones to earth’s surface. Heartbreak, loss, grief,

friendships, family, and love have led me to this moment. Have brought me home.

Jace and I sit at the dining room table with Dad, Annie, and Mum, who we have invited over here.

Dad’s brows furrow as he cradles one of Lila’s favorite china teacups.

“We asked you here because we want to share something with you,” I say carefully, glancing at

Jace next to me.

He smiles at me, nervous but determined. We’re on our balcony, staring at each other as flickering

flames devour the envelope. “This is the truth,” Jace says.

I glance at Mum and Annie, who give me a soft, understanding nod. They know what this is about.

Annie gives me an encouraging smile, while Mum carefully lifts the teapot and refills Dad’s cup.

“Share?” Dad says, looking between us. “What’s that?”

Jace’s Adam’s apple juts out with a swallow. “Do you have those stones?”

I pull out the stones Jace asked me to bring downstairs, and I line them on the table.

Jace’s lips twitch and he murmurs, “Already in chronological order.”

I smile, rubbing his thigh under the table. He shifts nearer as if to absorb my strength.

He picks up the first stone, small and round. “The first stone I gave Cooper.” He rolls it between his

fingers. “This is when we began.”

Dad frowns but doesn’t say anything.

Jace picks up the blue lazurite, stone of universal truth and friendship. “This was the stone Cooper

collected on my seventeenth birthday.”

“You’ll have to explain better,” Dad says, and sips his tea. “I don’t understand what exactly you’re

sharing.” But his hands are shaking a bit, and I think maybe he’s guessed after all.

Gently, Jace sets the blue lazurite down and gestures to the next stones: limestone, quartz, granite,

amethyst, aquamarine, moonstone. “I gave these to Cooper, too.”

I pinch his thigh, lean over and whisper, “Finally, you admit it!”

His cheeky grin makes it feel like he pinched me. “You knew. I knew you knew. It’s always been

that way.” The spark of his smile ignites me deeply. “When I look at your stones, I remember.” Jace

glances over to Annie, Mum, and finally Dad. “I remember what each of these stones mean because I

was with Cooper for a lot of them. Falling in love with him.”

Dad draws in a deep breath. “I don’t understand,” he says. “You’re brothers.”

“Stepbrothers,” Mum and Annie say together.

Dad opens his mouth and shakes his head. He presses his mouth into a thin line. “I understand this

has been a stressful time for you boys. We do strange things when we grieve, but—”

I rise out of my seat. “No, Dad. This has been happening since the beginning. Since the divorce

started. I love Jace.”

“Are you sure it’s love and you’re not confusing it with—”

“Dad!” Jace’s chair skids over the floor as he stands next to me. He takes my hand and links our

fingers together. “Have you ever had that feeling of teetering at the edge of a precipice? Ever been so

afraid to fall, even when falling is all you can dream of? Ever looked at Mum and taken a steadying

breath, not because she’s holding you back from falling but because you know she’ll catch you when

you do?”

Dad hesitates and rubs his head. “I think I’m too tired.”

“Answer us,” I say quietly. “Please.”

Dad looks at us, then at Mum and Annie, who are watching him carefully. He sinks back in his

chair. “You know about this already.”

“I suspected,” Mum says, shifting so she’s facing Dad.

“I didn’t.” Dad rubs his forehead as if he can smooth out the frown. “I don’t.”

“Sometimes love doesn’t work out the way you hope it to.” Mum smiles wonkily at Dad.

“Sometimes, you think you’re in love but you’re not.”

Her gaze shifts to Jace and me. “Sometimes you hope you’re not but you are.”

She laughs gently. “You don’t get to choose your family, and you don’t always get to choose who

you fall in love with.” Mum looks at Annie and back to Dad. “You may hate it and wish you could

change it, but in the end, you have two choices: cut yourself off from everything or accept it and

embrace it because love doesn’t disappear.”

Mum nods. “Our sons are always going to be welcome in my home.”

Jace lets out a slow breath, and we both face Dad. Waiting. Hoping.

“How is it that you’re only together now?” Dad says. “Why not then? Why not tell us—me—

earlier?”

“Because I was a fool,” Jace says. “Because I was scared of what you and others would think.”

“And now you don’t care what I think?”

“No,” Jace says. I shake my head.

Jace carefully passes the stones back to me. I put them in my pocket and resume my seat. Before

Jace sits, he pulls out five more stones from his pocket.

“What are these—?”

I try to touch them but Jace stops me, saying in my ear, “Let me explain first.”

He takes the first stone. “Germany, in an old town called Lubeck. A dropstone from the ice age.”

He lifts my hand from his thigh and sets the stone on my palm. Then he picks up the next one. “France,

Paris by the Seine.” The third. “Turkey at the Göreme Fairy Chimneys.”

It touches my palm, lurching me into the past where I am sitting with him at Lila and Dad’s

wedding drinking whiskey. I know what the next stones are.

The fourth. “The Giant’s Causeway in Ireland.” The fifth, a bluestone like the one he got his mum.

“And of course, Stonehenge.”

Jace closes my hand around them. “I have a hundred more I couldn’t bring back with me but they

all represent the stupidest thing I’ve done: not taking you with me.”

Dad sighs. His teacup rattles against the saucer as he puts it down. He glances out toward the patio

and the brightness outside.

“Your mother wrote me a letter, Jace. It took me a while to open it, and it was hard to read, some

things I never knew and she never told me.” He shifts, glancing toward his tea. “She hinted that you two

have a special love and she wants you both to be happy.” A few beats of silence. “Your mum is right.

Love doesn’t just go away.” He stares at us, his expression growing stern. “I’m not turning my back.”

He pushes his chair back, and I call out, stones digging into my palms. “Dad?”

He walks toward the patio. Stops in front of it.

“We love you.”

He nods, then opens the doors and lets the sunshine in.

Mum follows after him, and Annie makes an excuse to leave the two of us alone.

I place Jace’s confession into my pocket. Bathed in light, Jace pivots his chair toward mine.

“Do you regret it?”

“Only that I didn’t do it earlier.” He stands, pulling me up with him. “Come.”

I follow him upstairs to the gaming room. He leads me to the piano and pats the stool. “Sit next to

me.”

I raise a brow. “Going to play me another song?”

He shakes his head. “Well, maybe. After.”

“After, what?”

He pulls a small black pouch from his pocket and opens the drawstring. “This is for you. I got it in

Coober Pedy. You’ll love it there.”

He pulls out a small stone and presses it against my palm. It glitters all shades of color in the light.

Opal.

I hold it tightly, and I can’t hold back anymore. I grab his T-shirt, hauling him against me. He twists

around and straddles my lap, the weight of the greenstone hook under his T-shirt resting on my thumb.

“Are you offering to take me around the world? To Australia?”

He smirks. “What if I am?”

I laugh. “Would it just be travel?”

He kisses me. “What else would it be?”

epilogue

Music stirs in the air, pulling me out of my sleep. I turn over, sheets sliding silkily over my body.

Jace’s side of the bed is still warm. Though he said he’d try, I knew tonight would be too hard for him to