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Unmistakeable
  • Текст добавлен: 12 октября 2016, 02:39

Текст книги "Unmistakeable"


Автор книги: Abby Reynolds



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Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 11 страниц)

CHAPTER TEN

Alaska

Jace invited me over for dinner. I thought it was sweet that he wanted to cook for me, but when I arrived I realized he ordered in.

“Orange chicken?” he asked.

I didn’t understand how he had such a good body when he ate garbage all the time. “Sure.”

He handed me the plate then took his own into the living room. He sat on the couch and faced the TV. A game was on.

This isn’t exactly what I had in mind for a date. We hadn’t spent a lot of time together, and I didn’t want to eat on the couch while watching sports. I didn’t want much, just a quiet conversation and some attention.

“How’s your truck?” he asked.

“It runs fine now.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.”

“It’s okay. I knew you were at work.” It would be ridiculous for me to expect him to be there every time I needed help. He had other responsibilities.

“Your neighbor helped you?”

“Yeah. He saved the day.”

“Cool.” He ate his chow mien while he watched the TV.

I picked at mine, not wanting to eat it. I hated Chinese food but he never remembered. I told him that at least ten times but he either never listened to begin with, or he just didn’t remember. I hated wasting food so I ate it anyway and didn’t complain.

“How’s work?” I asked.

He leaned forward and watched the TV. “Come on, Sandoval.” He clapped his hands and kept his eyes glued to the screen.

This was getting annoying pretty quickly. I leaned back in the sofa and stayed quiet, letting him watch the game. I took out my phone and played Angry Birds a few times. I didn’t hate sports but I didn’t like watching them all the time either.

When it finally ended, he finished his beer. “Good game, huh?”

“Yeah.” I was practically falling asleep. “How’s work?”

“Fine. Nothing too interesting.”

His responses were always short. I couldn’t get anything out of him if I tried. “How’s your scrapbooking going?”

Scrapbooking? “You mean my photography?”

“Yeah.”

I hid my annoyance. “Good. Actually, I have a showcase this weekend.” My excitement grew. “I applied to sell my paintings in this prestigious gallery and they accepted me. My debut is tomorrow night.”

“Cool.” He nodded his head. “Awesome.”

He didn’t seem that impressed. “It’s at seven, so can you pick me up at six?”

He stilled. “Baby, I have to work tomorrow night.”

“What? You just worked your rotation this week.”

He fidgeted with his beer. “I’m covering for a friend. If I had known about your show, I would have said no.”

“Can you get someone else to do it?” I hated to be clingy but this was really important to me. I wanted him to be there.

“It’s too late now. Sorry.”

I sighed, letting the frustration out.

“I’m sorry…I don’t know what else to do.”

I was overreacting. He was a firefighter and had a lot more responsibilities than coming to my art show. People’s lives depended on him. He was an adult and had other obligations. I couldn’t be the center of his world all the time. “No, it’s okay. I understand.”

He relaxed. “I’m sure you’ll do great.”

“Yeah…” Jace had never paid attention to my work. I actually couldn’t recall a piece he’d ever seen.

He left his beer on the coffee table then walked into the bathroom. I was glad he left me alone so I could compose myself. I was being a brat about the whole situation. It bummed me out that he couldn’t always be around, but I knew that when I started dating him. He would work for days at a time and have to stay at the firehouse. I needed to be mature and respect that.

His phone made a noise and the screen lit up. He had a text message.

The message was blocked, but it said the name of the sender.

Sarah.

Who’s Sarah? He didn’t have a sister, and I was certain he didn’t have a friend name Sarah…the paranoia started to sink in. I stared at the phone, wondering if I should take a peek.

No. I wasn’t that kind of girl.

I either trusted him or I didn’t. It was probably someone from work trying to switch shifts or something. I pulled out my phone and played Angry Birds, trying to distract my mind. Jace and I were having problems, but he would never cheat on me. He was a good guy and respected me.

He came out of the bathroom then ignored his phone. He changed the channel and started watching TV. I looked up at him, disappointed that his eyes were glued to the screen again.

Was there something wrong with me? Was I boring? Did all relationships turn out this way? Stale and old? Was it just me? Why didn’t we make out on the couch like we used to? Why was the fire between us barely in embers? Was it my fault?

I pondered these questions endlessly while we both watched TV, sitting in different corners with our hands in our laps.

My nana’s face lit up when I walked into the room. “You never come on Saturdays.”

“I know. But I wanted to bring my showcase to you since you can’t come.”

Her eyes softened. “Thank you, dear. I’m so sorry I can’t be there.”

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

“At least Jace will be there.”

I felt the weight on my heart.

Nana caught the look. “Is he not going?”

“He has to work,” I said sadly.

“It seems like that’s all he ever does.” Bitterness hung in her voice.

“I know…but his job is important. He saves lives.”

“And he should live his own life too.”

I didn’t want to make my grandmother upset. “It’s okay. I’m not mad.”

“But you’re sad.”

“He can’t be there for everything.”

“It just seems like he’s never around for anything.”

I opened my bag and handed her the Tupperware. “French toast.”

Her eyes sparkled. “That sounds delicious.”

Food was always a good way to change the subject. I opened my portfolio and handed her the pictures. “These are the ones I’m selling.”

She put on her glasses before she looked at them. She pulled the pictures closer to her face then further way. Silence stretched for minutes. I wasn’t sure if she liked them or hated them.

“These are…magnificent, dear.”

My heart fluttered. “Thanks.”

She examined the one of Payton. “Your sister is such a beautiful girl—both of you are.”

My grandmother said that almost every day. “Yeah, she is.”

“She’s so photogenic too.” Her eyes clouded in adoration. “I have no doubt you’ll be a hit at this showcase.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“I know I’m right.” She handed the photos back to me. “Anything new?”

“Grandpa’s truck almost croaked on me.”

“What happened?”

“I was stupid and I forgot to change the oil.” I rolled my eyes. “Luckily, my neighbor took care of it so I could get to work. He even let me drive his BMW.”

“Wow. He sounds like a gentleman. There aren’t too many around anymore.”

I shrugged. “He has his moments…”

She smirked. “And what does he do in his other moments?”

“He’s just…promiscuous. He prefers one-night stands instead of real relationships.”

“That’s what’s hot right now.” She opened her Tupperware and started to eat.

“Yeah, I guess. There are times when he’s really sweet and real…but then it disappears and he puts this act on. When we first met, he was interesting and fun. And then he turned sleazy and tried to get me into bed. It’s almost like he forces himself to do it…I can’t explain it.”

“Sounds like he’s afraid to be himself.”

“I don’t see why. He’s really smart, cute, and rich.”

“The most successful people tend to be the most insecure.” She finished every bite then set the plastic aside.

“You really don’t know someone until you get past the surface and see what’s deep down inside. This man didn’t have to help you but he did. I think that speaks louder than what he does in his personal life. Don’t judge before you really know him.”

“I wasn’t judging…”

“It seemed like it.”

“I just…I don’t know.” I didn’t want to talk about Ash anymore. I grabbed the book at her bed side. “Shall we continue?”

“Please.” She leaned back and listened to me.

I read for half an hour before my throat started to run dry. “I should go. I still need to get ready.”

“Break a leg, kid.” She grabbed my face and kissed my cheek. “Make sure you tell me how it goes.”

“I’ll give you every detail.”

“Payton is going, right?”

“Definitely. She wants to see how much her image is worth.” I rolled my eyes. “You know her.”

She laughed. “I do.”

“Bye, Nana.”

“Bye, dear.”

I walked out then headed to the elevator. The hospital was much calmer on the weekend. People weren’t visiting their loved ones as often. Instead, they were enjoying the beautiful weather. I hit the button and waited for the doors to open.

When the door finally opened, I felt my heart move into my throat.

Ash was staring back at me, a wrapped gift under his arm. He was wearing jeans and a dark green t-shirt. It brought out his artic blue eyes. I never noticed their color before. There was faint stubble on his chin like he hadn’t shaved in a few days. I noticed details about him that I never paid attention to before.

He stepped out and kept staring at me. “Are you following me?” The humor was in his eyes.

“I was here first, so technically, you’re following me.”

“Touché.”

“Why aren’t you wearing your scrubs?”

“Oh.” He quickly glanced at himself. “I don’t have rotations this week. But I wanted to stop by and see my patient. I brought her a gift to cheer her up.”

My eyes softened. I never expected him to take time out of his day just to bring his patient a gift. That was…really sweet. Maybe I didn’t know Ash at all. Maybe I judged him too quickly. “Why don’t you have rotations?”

He shifted his weight and averted his gaze. “We usually take a break during exams.”

“Oh.” I examined the small package. “What did you get for your patient?”

He held it up. “A kindle. She loves to read so I thought this would be good for her. I got her an Amazon gift card too so she cqn download as many books as she wants. I have a feeling she reads the same thing over and over again.” A smile stretched his lips.

Was this the same guy I first met? He was thoughtful and sweet…a direct contradiction to what he normally was. He brought girls back to his apartment then kicked them out without even a kiss on the cheek. He was a jerk and used women. But then he could be thoughtful. “That was really nice of you.”

He shrugged. “I do what I can. Sometimes medicine can only go so far.”

“Yeah…” I looked into his eyes, seeing the color of the ocean.

“And why are you here?”

“I was visiting my nana.”

“Oh.” Sadness came into his eyes. “I hope she’s okay.”

“Yeah,” I said quickly. “She’ll be fine. It’s nothing too serious.”

He didn’t ask for details. “I’m glad to hear it.”

“Well, I should probably go.” I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, suddenly feeling nervous.

“Me too.” He stepped around me. “Wait. How’s your truck?”

“It’s running good. I haven’t had any problems.”

“Good. But I really think you should upgrade.”

“Never. I’ll drive that thing until I can’t afford to fix it.”

“Why are you so attached to this truck?” he asked. He stared at my face, his eyes lingering on mine. He used to check out my ass and chest whenever he looked at me, but he stopped doing that. Now he always looked at my face, his eyes never wandering.

“It was my grandfather’s.”

He nodded slowly. “So it has sentimental value to you?”

“It was his first vehicle when he came to the United States from Chile. I can never get rid of it.”

“You’re Chilean?” He seemed interested.

“Yeah.”

He kept staring into my eyes. “Well, I’m glad we could save your truck before anything permanent happened.”

“Yeah, that makes two of us.”

He stepped away. “I guess I’ll see you later, then.”

“Yeah.” I needed to head home and get ready, but I was distracted talking to Ash. “I’ll see you around.”

He headed down the hallway as I stepped inside the elevator. When I waited for the doors to close, I stared at his back, noticing the muscles of his shoulders and arms. I’d never noticed them before.

When the doors were closed, the image was burned into my mind.

I wore an olive green dress because I thought highlighted my skin tone. I tried to wear brighter colors because of my dark skin. It really brought out my eyes even though they were brown. My hair was curled and I pulled it over one shoulder. The bracelet my grandfather got me was on one wrist. After I deemed myself worthy enough to be seen in front of other people, I left my apartment and drove to the gallery.

I was nervous and I wasn’t sure why. I didn’t need to make a speech or even acknowledge I was an artist at all. I could pretend to be a spectator just hanging in the back. But I guess I feared no one would like my work. Just because no one knew the photographs belonged to me didn’t mean I wouldn’t be insulted if they criticized them.

When I arrived at the building, I stayed in the truck for a moment, trying to gather my bearings. I wished Jace were there. He didn’t care about my photography and would probably be bored the whole time, but it was better than being alone.

I finally got out and walked inside with as much grace as I could muster. It was crowded with people. Waiters carried trays of champagne and wine. People mingled near the walls, examining a sculpture or painting. Classical music played overhead.

I wasn’t sure what to do with myself, so I moved through the gallery and examined other pieces. It was probably a good thing that I didn’t have money otherwise I would buy a lot of artwork. I didn’t even have enough space on my walls to include everything.

I spotted Livia standing in front of a painting. It wasn’t hers, but she looked inspired while she stared at it.

“I like your dress.” I came beside her.

She smiled when she looked at me. “Oh my god, you look beautiful.”

I felt my cheeks redden. “Thanks.”

She wrapped her arms around me and embraced me. “Don’t be nervous. I can tell you are.”

“It’s my first time.”

Scotty appeared and handed her a glass. “Champagne, babe?”

“Thanks.” She sipped it while she grinned at him.

Scotty smiled at me. “You look nice.”

“Thanks.” Her boyfriend was so polite.

“Can I get you something to drink?” he asked.

His question just made me depressed. I was here—alone. My boyfriend never pampered me the way Scotty pampered her. I never received a look like he gave her in my life. “No, thank you.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind.”

“It’s really okay.”

An older couple approached them.

“There are some beautiful pieces in here.” She held herself like a Stepford wife.

“There are,” Livia said. “Mom, this is my friend Alaska. She’s a photographer.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” She shook my hand.

“Likewise.”

Then she introduced her father.

I shook his hand. “Your daughter is very talented.”

“So I hear,” he said.

“Let’s keep looking.” Her mother linked her arm with her husband’s and trailed away.

Now I was really jealous. Her boyfriend and her parents were here. “You have a lovely family.”

“Except my brother.” She rolled her eyes. “He’s a classic jerk.”

“Then he must not be here.”

“No, he always comes,” she said immediately. “I just call him a jerk because I hate him. But I love him. It’s complicated…”

Apparently.

“There he is.” She waved him over. “I want you to meet my friend.”

My heart plummeted into my stomach when I saw the face of the man I saw every day. He lived just across the way from me. We’d butted heads as often as we got along. I just saw him a few hours ago and now I saw him again.

Ash stared me down, not reacting. His eyes lingered on my hair and face, taking me in. I couldn’t read his reaction. His eyes guarded his thoughts.

Livia didn’t notice. “Ash, this is my friend Alaska.”

In a trance, I stuck out my hand to shake his.

He took it but his grip was weak.

It was the first time we’d ever touched each other. I was surprised by how smooth his skin was. It was warm, inviting. His eyes never left my face, taking me in. Neither one of us spoke. We didn’t even shake hands. Instead, he held my hand, feeling my fingers.

Livia glanced back and forth between us. “Do you know each other…?”

Ash didn’t look at her. “Yeah…she’s a friend.”

Since I always considered him a nuisance, I never thought of him as anything more than a mere pain. “I’m his neighbor.” I thought that was a better explanation.

Livia’s eyes widened and her mouth was slightly open. “You’re neighbors…?”

“Yeah.” Why was that surprising?

“Like, you live next door to him?” she asked.

Ash shot her a glare.

“Yeah…” Why was this so hard for her to understand?

“And you drive an old beat up truck?” Her voice grew more excited. She was about to hop on her toes and squeal.

“How did you know that?” I asked.

“Ignore my sister,” Ash snapped. “She’s just being annoying.”

“I was the one who took Ash to get the oil.” She clapped her hands excitedly.

Ash turned red in the face.

“It’s a small world after all…” I didn’t know what else to say.

Livia grabbed Scotty’s hand. “There’s a painting I want to show you.” She yanked him away, practically spilling her champagne.

When they were gone, Ash dropped his hand and put it in his pocket. “How do you know my sister?”

“We’re doing a showcase together.”

He nodded. “I guess that isn’t surprising.” He scratched the back of his neck then returned his hand to his pocket. His eyes took me in for a long moment. “You look lovely tonight.”

Lovely? I didn’t think he was capable of saying that word. Hot or sexy sounded more suitable to his vocabulary. “Thank you.”

“The green color really compliments your skin.”

Another sweet compliment. “Thank you.”

He kept staring at me. Finally, he tore his gaze away. He stared at the painting next to us.

He was wearing a black suit with a gray tie. It fit his chest perfectly, and the pants made his legs look slim. His shirt was cuffed at the wrists and he wore a Rolex. He looked like a million bucks. His blue eyes glowed in the dim lighting of the gallery, and his chin was free of hair. He must have just shaved. His hair was short and styled, making him look like an executive or stockbroker. “You look handsome.” I said it without thinking twice about it.

He turned back to me, his eyes a little softer than before. “Thank you.”

Silence stretched for a minute. He stared at me and I stared back at him.

What the hell was going on?

The tension was killing me. “Did your patient like your gift?”

It took him a moment to process what I said. “She didn’t know what it was at first, but once I explained it to her, she was very excited. And she’s also excited about all the games.”

I smiled. “Sounds like you made her day.”

“I think I made it a little better. It’s the least I can do.”

“What did she do for you?” I asked.

He rubbed his chin then returned his hand to his pocket. “She made me a better doctor. She taught me to be more compassionate. And she taught me not to be scared of getting close to other people. Loss is a part of life. And it’s better to get close enough to the fire to burned than to never feel the warmth at all.”

This was the side of him that I loved. When he was real and open, he was interesting and true. His soul was beautiful and he was a joy to be around. His words echoed in my mind long after he said them. “You’re a beautiful person.” I wasn’t thinking before I spoke. He was being vulnerable with me so I decided to do it back. “I like this side of you. I want to see him more often.”

Ash continued to stare at me, but his reaction was hidden. I felt my heartbeat in my chest, and it quickened the longer he looked at me. His eyes were no longer guarded and I could see whom he was underneath, but just a sliver. There was more to his depths than shallow water.

I waited for him to respond but he never did. He stared at me and I stared back at him, getting lost in his eyes. Everyone moved around us, but I felt isolated from the room. Classes clanked together and people spoke in quiet conversation, but I felt like Ash and I were having a conversation of our own. I just couldn’t understand it.

“There you are.” Payton touched my arm. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

It took me a moment to break the trance. “Hey.” I looked at her purple dress. “You look nice.”

She looked me up and down. “And you look hot.”

I chuckled. My sister was always so blunt. “Thanks.”

She turned to Ash. “Ooh…who’s this?”

“My…” Should I say neighbor? Friend?

“Friend,” Ash finished for me. He shook my sister’s hand. “Ash. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Payton.” She batted her eyelashes at him. Then she turned back to me. “Let’s head to the stage. They are about to have the bidding.”

“I’ll be there in a second.”

She drifted away.

Ash was staring at me again.

I fidgeted in place. “I think you and I got off on the wrong foot…”

“No, we didn’t.” His voice was quiet. “I was a jerk to you. Your initial impression of me was dead on. All I wanted was to sleep with you.”

His honesty caught me off guard. “Is that what you still want?”

“No…I’d like a friendship as well.”

As well?

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think you were the most beautiful, most desirable woman I’d ever seen. The moment I saw you, I wanted you. I’d like to say I’m a perfect gentleman with only pure thoughts, but I’m not. However, I do respect you and I would never do anything to make you uncomfortable. If all I’ll ever get from you is friendship, I’ll settle for that.”

I was the most desirable woman he’d ever seen? No one had ever said anything like that to me before. I was lucky if I could get Jace to look at me the way he gawked at our waitress. He sat on the other side of the couch from me, acting like I wasn’t even there. He never held my hand anymore. He never stared at me the way Ash did. I didn’t feel beautiful with him, and I certainly didn’t feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

“I’m sorry if my words made you uncomfortable. But you asked me a question and I answered it. I may be a jerk, but I’m an honest one. I’ll tell you exactly what I’m thinking and I won’t shy away from the truth. Some people find it refreshing. Others despise me for it. I’m not sure which one you are…”

“I’m not sure either…”

He stared at me for a few seconds. “Either way, I’d like it if we could be friends. While arguing with you is fun, I’d prefer a normal conversation once in a while.” The humor was in his eyes.

“I’d like that too.”

He extended his hand to shake mine. “Friends?”

I smiled then shook it. “Friends.”

He dropped his hand then walked with me to the stage where the auction was being held. He stood beside his sister while I joined mine.

“He’s cute,” she whispered in my ear.

“He’s my neighbor,” I whispered back.

“Seriously? I’m officially your new roommate.”

I rolled my eyes.

Rydell quieted the crowd. “We did something a little different this time. Two of my most accomplished artists teamed up together and created a different form of art. One represents reality, while another represents wishful thinking. Each photograph and painting will be auctioned off separately.” He cleared his throat then began with the first painting. “The Purple Meadow. The auction is now open.”

Hands shot in the air, and people immediately made their bids.

“Five-hundred.”

“A thousand.”

“Two thousand.”

Holy shit.

I eyed Livia, seeing the shock on her face. Scotty was staring at her, a smirk on his lips. Her mother gripped her shoulder, clenching her hands in excitement. Pride was on her father’s face. Ash grabbed her hand and held it within his own.

“Going once…going twice…sold to the lady in red.”

Applause broke out.

Livia’s mother kissed her on the cheek. “You’re blessed with such talent, dear.”

My heart hurt just from watching them. They were such a close family. They surrounded her, showering her with love and adoration. They were a unit, a team. She was loved by everyone, showered with affection.

I didn’t have parents because neither one of them wanted me.

“Our next piece is The Never Ending Sky. The auction is officially open.”

Just like last time, people bid like crazy.

“Fifteen-hundred.”

“Twenty-five hundred.”

“Three-thousand.”

“Going once….going twice…sold.”

Livia was practically smothered by her family. Scotty gave her a kiss on the neck, something intimate but subtle. Then he stared at her, the pride beaming in his eyes.

My boyfriend didn’t even show up. I sat beside him on the couch, completely ignored.

“Now the photographs.” Rydell revealed them. “Let the auction begin.”

“Eight-hundred.”

“A thousand.”

“Fifteen hundred.”

I wasn’t listening. I suddenly felt alone. I was grateful my sister was here, but she was all I had. My grandmother was sick, I had no idea where my father was because he took off when I was just a year old, my mom was an alcoholic, and my boyfriend was…not really there.

“I can’t believe how much people are bidding on your photo.” Payton clapped her hands in excitement.

Huh? I wasn’t even paying attention.

“Sold to the lady in the back. Now for the next piece, The Purple Meadow.”

The bidding started again.

This should have been a meaningful moment in my life, something to mark the time and effort I put into getting here. I should be happy, but I wasn’t. I was depressed. I was alone. I was…hollow. I tried not to be jealous of Livia but how could I not be? She actually had a family.

When I felt the heat behind my eyes, I knew the tears were about to fall.

Damn.

I crept away from my sister so she wouldn’t notice my departure. I didn’t stay to hear the winning bid. I didn’t care. Everyone was huddled to the stage so it was easy for me to sneak out the front entrance.

Once I was outside, I inhaled the cool air. My lungs finally relaxed, and my body decreased in temperature. But I couldn’t combat the deep loss in my heart. I couldn’t deny how broken I was. Why couldn’t I have a family like everyone else? Why didn’t my parents love me? Why did Jace have to let me down all the time? Did he even care about me?

I moved to the bricks on the side of the gallery, close to the parking lot. I was hidden from view. No one would come here unless they already knew where I was. Unable to hold back the tears, they fell.

I hated crying. It was a waste of time. But sometimes it couldn’t be helped. I tried to stay strong and act like I didn’t care, but deep down inside, I was shattered into a million pieces. I tried to convince myself that I was better off without my parents anyway, but it was just wishful thinking.

The breeze moved through my hair and calmed me slightly, but the tears dripped from my eyes. I didn’t heave or sob. They just dropped down my cheek. My breathing was even, fighting the urge.

A shadow was cast over me and I realized I wasn’t alone. I didn’t look because I didn’t want to expose my face to the person.

The shadow came close until it was right next to me. Then they sat beside me on the bricks. They were wearing a suit. I didn’t look, but I could see the slacks and the dress shoes.

It was Ash.

He sat beside me and didn’t say anything. He didn’t look at me either.

I controlled my breathing and tried to blink my tears away. I held my breath for a moment so the tears would stop altogether. I didn’t want anyone to see me cry. It was one of the things I was insecure about.

“Tell me.” That was all he said. He stared straight ahead, not looking at me.

I was grateful he didn’t. I didn’t want him to. “I’m jealous of Livia.”

“Why?” His voice was even, calm.

“Because she has everything.” I hated to be a jealous person. I didn’t realize I was one until now. It’s not that she didn’t deserve to be happy. She did. She was a very sweet girl. But why were we different? Why did she have that but I didn’t?

Ash remained quiet, waiting for me to elaborate.

“She has parents who love her. They came down just to support her. Her father stared at her with pride. Her mother hugged her fondly. Her brother held her hand because he loved her. And her boyfriend…he looked at her like she was his whole world.”

His hand slowly moved to my thigh. Then his fingers slid between mine, interlocking them. It was slow and gradual, and when our hands finally locked together, I felt a little better. He dragged my hand back to his thigh and held it steady.

“My parents never wanted me. My mom abused my sister and I. She always hated us. My dad took off because he never wanted to see us again. I’ve never spoken to him. I don’t even know the sound of his voice.” The tears stopped falling but I still felt like a hollow shell. “My grandma is in the hospital. She’s a good person and doesn’t deserve to be sick. I know she hates herself for not being here.”

“But your sister came.” His voice came out as a whisper.

“I love my sister very much and I’m grateful she’s always there to support me…I just wish I had more. I wished she had more.”

His fingers slowly caressed mine.

“And Jace never looks at me that way. I’ve never felt loved the way Scotty loves her. I’ve never felt beautiful. I’ve never felt important. He always has to work, and I understand that but…he’s never around. And when he is around…he’s not.”

“Jace?”

“My boyfriend.”

His hand stilled. A minute passed without movement. “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”

“We’ve been together for a few years… Of all people, he should understand how important this is to me. But he doesn’t care. When I asked him if he even wanted to be with me anymore, he said yes. But he still acts the same…I don’t understand.”

Ash stayed quiet but he didn’t pull his hand away from mine. “What does he do for a living?”

“He’s a firefighter. So I understand why he misses so many things. I guess I get tired of it.”

“I don’t see why that’s relevant. If you were my girlfriend, I’d make sure I was there for everything. There’s nothing I wouldn’t miss just to be with you.”

Those were just empty words.

“If he hurts you this much, you shouldn’t be with him anymore. A man should make his girlfriend feel like the most beautiful woman in the room every single day. He should shower her with affection and love. She should never question his loyalty and devotion. He should be the rock of the relationship, the solution to every problem, the crutch to every injury. He shouldn’t be the reason why a gorgeous woman is crying on a slab of bricks on one of the most important nights of her life.” His voice was quiet but it contained his rage.

“How would you know? You’ve never been in a relationship before.” It was irrelevant and I wasn’t sure why I said it. I was just upset.

“No, I haven’t. But it’s because I haven’t found a girl I’d be willing to commit to in that way. My hesitance of a relationship doesn’t make me a worse boyfriend. It makes me a better one because I actually care. Believe me, if you were mine this wouldn’t be happening right now. I’d be everything your parents never gave you. I would stand by your side and worship you every day. And I would make sure you felt beautiful every night in my bed.”


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