Текст книги "Right Next Door"

Автор книги: A. J. Pryor

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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

‘Big cup of crazy.’ That’s the slogan on my mug this morning, and it fits my mood perfectly. He kissed me. Damian kissed me then left. But that kiss, it said so much in the ten seconds that passed between us.

He’s mine if I want him.

I do want him.

My job . . . my boss can be a prick, but I love my job. I’m not officially on Emily’s case, there’s a good chance Thomas would never find out Damian is my neighbor and I can think of a million excuses why he can’t put me on that case. I can try this, being a couple with Damian, or at least committed sex buddies.

It’s a quiet morning. I didn’t hear him come home last night and he hasn’t left for the track this morning. I sit in my big white lounge chair and take my first sip of dark rich coffee.

My phone begins to play that damn Arctic Monkey’s song. I can’t let Matt derail me. He’s already taken up too much of my life. It’s time to move on.

“Matt,” I say, resolved to end this.

“Addy, I love your voice this early in the morning.”

I’m silent; the sound of his voice still shocks me. After so many years of waiting to hear it again, it now leaves me lost, every reason I had for answering this call dying on my tongue.

“I’ve officially moved out.”

“You’ve still been living with her?” My question is immediate. The revelation that while he’s been pursuing me, he’s possibly been sharing a bed with his wife telling me everything I need to know. The Matt Bryson I fell in love with, is not the same man who’s come back to claim me.

“No, I told you I left her and I did. She’s been staying with a friend until I found my own place.” I don’t know if I believe him and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust him. “I’m sending a plane ticket. I want you to come see me. You can stay in a hotel, but I want you to see the life you could live if you moved here with me.”

I hear the sliding glass door to my right begin to open. “Matt, I’m not moving to New York.” I hit end and focus on the balcony ready to see a shirtless Damian and forget the past two days—go back to the way things have been the past few months with an added benefit of having sex, and a lot of it. My phone rings again, and I mute it, not wanting to deal with Matt or anything other than making up with Damian.

“I’ll be out here wai—”

“Amber, don’t go out there.”

As a woman with dark brown hair wearing nothing but one of Damian’s white T-shirt’s steps out onto the balcony, I have to hold in my gasp. This woman is stunning. Long lean legs, dark silky brown hair and hazel eyes. Her shirt is completely see-through and her dark nipples are peeking through the white material. If I had to guess, she’s not wearing underwear.

“Hi, I’m Amber.” She’s perky and annoying. I hate her and can’t bring myself to respond.

Damian follows her out, two plain black mugs secure in his two large hands.

I don’t know what I was looking for, guilt, remorse, shame, but as he hands Amber her mug all I see is . . . contentment.

“Hi, Addison.”

I rub my eye with my middle finger and take a sip of coffee that feels like battery acid as it slides down my quickly closing throat. He sits on the edge of his lounge chair and she slides in behind him. Her hands inch up his back and rest on his shoulders as she begins to give him a small back rub. He stretches his neck from side to side “Ah, that feels good.”

Gross.

My eyes close and I’m about to get up when I hear her whispering. “Last night was fun.”

I should go inside, but the scene playing out in front of me has cemented me to my seat.

His back stiffens, and he doesn’t respond. Her hands begin to descend, trailing along the muscles of his back, slipping around his sides to the front of him. She scoots closer, her crotch up against him. “We should do it again,” she continues.

I stand.

So does he.

He’s frowning, and for a split second, I think I have it wrong. He doesn’t want this woman’s hands on him, but as he looks at me, a slight pain filling his eyes, he reaches down and pulls her up, ushering her inside and leaving me standing there like a fool.

I phoned in sick, and called an emergency meeting with my girls.

“I’m thinking he didn’t sleep with her,” Mia says as she snaps a picture of me.

“That’s very optimistic Mia. Did I mention her nipples were visible through her white T-shirt?”

“Ass,” Paige mumbles as she works on the computer.

“How’s this photo?” Mia is holding her phone under my eyes so I can see the head shot she just took of me.

I’m peering at the picture, wondering what reason Mia has for thinking he didn’t have sex with Amber. I can’t think her name without a bolt of jealously striking me directly in the heart. “Can’t we do this with a regular camera?” I ask as I look at the washed out photo.

“It’s easier this way.” She shoots a few more pictures as Paige begins to ask me personal questions.

“Hobbies.”

“I don’t have any.”

“Yes you do, you work out.”

“That was my hobby with Damian. I highly doubt we’ll be doing that anymore.”

“I’m putting kickboxing on here. You did that before Damian came along and now you can pretend you’re kicking his ass.”

I don’t want to kick Damian’s ass. I want to go back to two nights ago and take back that one word—erase the unease that’s invaded my system the past two days.

I peer over her shoulder. “Match.com? Isn’t there a better site we can use?”

“Nope, this is the one that’s going to get you back on your feet.”

“Unless of course you want to call Matt back.” Paige is taunting me.

“I’m not calling him and I’m not moving to New York.” Was I so different five years ago that he’d think a fancy lifestyle is what I’m looking for? Does he not know me at all or maybe we never really knew each other to begin with.

After Damian and his leggy one-nighter left me alone on the balcony, I spent the day on my couch eating ice cream and watching re-runs of American Ninja Warrior, which has done wonders for my self-confidence.

Not.

But seriously, now that these two have come over and demanded I do something to mix things up a bit, I’m slightly on board. Online dating could be fun. Right?

Maybe a little?

Who am I kidding. I can’t think of anything worse.

“Kill the account, Mia. I don’t want to meet someone online. I’m not ready.”

“Too late. I’ve got you set up . . . and it looks like you already have a match.”

“Um, desperate much. Don’t go for it, Addison, probably a rapist. Mia. Set her up with that chef you were telling me about,” Paige continues.

“Who? Lance?”

“I don’t know! You interviewed him a few weeks ago.”

Mia’s eyes widen. “Yeah, good idea. He’s great, super cute and . . .” as she continues to discuss the benefits of some guy named Lance, there’s a knock on my door. I’m half listening to her description as I open it wide.

“Hi.” His deep masculine voice punches me in the chest, his grin making my insides liquefy. But a vision of Amber, with her see through shirt clouds my brain and that intense heat of desire quickly turns to one of anger.

“Damian.”

“Can I come in?” His voice is low, his eyes filled with something that looks a lot like remorse, and I’m still angry . . . hurt . . . embarrassed at being so easily replaced. I know I messed up, said something I shouldn’t have, but how could he move on so quickly?

I peek my head out of the door and over to his place. “No you can’t. Where’s Amber by the way?”

He grins, and . . . it’s sexy. One side of his lip curls up while his eyes brighten. I hate that grin. It makes my knees weak and gives my stomach butterflies.

“Most likely at home.”

He’s leaning against my doorframe and it’s making me uncomfortable. He’s too casual for the interaction we had this morning, too content with this conversation, as I’m getting angrier by the second. I’m feeling on the outs of some big secret and I don’t like it one bit.

“Did you need something?” I finally ask.

“I’m about to go running. Come with me.”

Is he crazy? “No.”

He stands up straight. “No?”

“Um, yeah, that’s what I said. Have fun.” Was he not on the balcony with us this morning? Did he think it wouldn’t bother me that he brought another woman home? I begin to close the door on him and he sticks his foot out to block it.

“Don’t steal my move, Offside.” I’m not wearing any shoes, but that doesn’t stop me from kicking at his Nike clad foot.

“You’re going to break a toe if you keep that up, Green Eyes.”

“So move your damn foot.”

Suddenly the door is opening and despite using every ounce of strength I have, he’s barged his way inside my apartment. He doesn’t stop as he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder, continuing towards my room.

“Put me down!” Rage is boiling inside my blood stream. I want nothing to do with him right now and probably forever. My legs are kicking wildly, and my hands are slapping at his back. His grip on me is too strong and I’m much too small to fight against this.

“Ladies,” he says to Mia and Paige who are sitting in my living room, their eyes wide in surprise.

“I am not running with you, Damian. I don’t run with asshats!”

He spanks me. The cocky son of a bitch spanks me. “Don’t call me names, Addison. It isn’t nice.”

“Nice? You want to discuss nice? How about kissing your neighbor then bringing some floozy home? How’s that for nice?”

“Oh, that kiss was nice. What was even nicer was the sex I had with my drunk off her ass neighbor only to find out it was a mistake.”

“Well, Mr. I don’t do casual, you certainly blew that title right out of the park last night with your nice new girlfriend.”

“Yes, I did have a nice evening now that you mention it.”

All the fight leaves me at once. My body folding over his shoulder, my legs stilling their movements and my arms dangling down his back. He had a nice evening.

That kind of sucks.

All day I’d held onto a glimmer of hope that it wasn’t as bad as my mind made it out to be. That Amber was . . . I don’t know . . . his masseuse?

Damian slides me down the front of him, like a wet noodle who can’t stand straight. He holds me up.

“Nothing happened with Amber.” His arms are around me, his eyes searching for some sort of sign that I’m hearing him.

I look up confused.

“I know her from a long time ago. She was drunk and needed a place to crash. I slept on the couch.”

“But she was . . . practically naked.”

“I know. We have a past; she’s comfortable around me. But nothing happened.”

They have a past? Is that supposed to make me feel any better?

“A long time ago past, Addison. I haven’t touched her in years, and I’m not about to start now. Reed and I bumped into her and a group of friends last night, and we partied a little too hard. I really was doing her a favor letting her crash at my place, and this morning I was trying my best to get her out of there. When I woke up she was in my shirt, I have no idea how she got that way, but I hustled her out pretty quickly after you saw her.”

“She was . . . touching you.”

Damn, that grin appears again. “Only for a few seconds.”

“Get your running clothes on, Addison, and meet me out front in ten.”

“You know, you’re kind of an asshole when you’re angry.”

Lying in the grass at the park by the beach and staring up at the stars, she’s finally gotten her breathing under control after I made her run the last quarter mile in a sprint. Our arms are side by side, barely touching and with that comment, I take her hand in mine. My heart, which had been scattered the past few days, finally feels at rest as I feel her soft skin in mine. I don’t like that she works for Thomas and I hate that she may be put on Emily’s case, but I’ll figure out a way to make this work. I have to.

“Only when I have something to lose.”

Her thumb begins to run the length of my palm. I sit up on my elbow and stare down at her. “I don’t want to be an asshole.”

Looking in my eyes, her face softens and a small smile lifts the corners of her mouth. “I don’t want you to think I care more about my job than you or Emily.”

Lifting her hand to my lips, I kiss each finger.

“My dad is an asshole. I think the word player was created to define him.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t want to be like my dad.” Staring down into her beautiful eyes, I think she finally understands why I don’t want to just fool around. One day, I want a wife to love and kids to cherish. I want a white picket fence and a golden retriever. I want to give a woman what my dad couldn’t, or wouldn’t, give to my mom. And after Sunday, I want Addison to be the center of that life, my life, our life.

“I have no idea who your dad is Damian, but from the sound of it, you’re nothing like him.”

Lying back in the grass as it crinkles around me, I stare up at the clear dark night. “Every once in a while, when I look in the mirror, it’s my dad I see staring back at me.”

Reed’s the only other person that knows how much I’ve tried to avoid my father’s way of living. I know Addison regrets what happened last weekend, but she deserves to know why I freaked out on her. If I’m ever going to convince her that I’m exactly what her life needs, I need to start trusting her with who I am and why I behave the way I do.

Lifting my arm over her body, she snuggles into my side, her head moving onto my shoulder and her legs entwining with mine. She fits so compactly under my arm, her body melting in my side, and I’m as content as I’ve ever been in my life.

“You’re really taking her there?”

It’s impossible not to smile at the big blue eyes that stare up at me.

“That’s the plan. The show comes to Venice in three weeks.” Emily is looking at my iPad, watching clips from past American Ninja Warrior episodes. The minute I heard they were filming down in Venice Beach, I called in some connections and got two tickets to a show.

It’s been one week since Addison and I began to build back what we once had. One week since I held her in the grass and told her about my father. One week and I want her more now than I ever did before. Maybe it’s because I know exactly what she feels and tastes like. Or because in the few days that I was so mad I lost my fucking mind, and I never want to be that out of control again. Whatever the reason, I’m going to do whatever it takes to win her heart. I’m going to make sure she never wants to hear from that douche bag Matt again and that in the end, she chooses me. Because the reality show she’s entered is called life, and I plan on being her winning prize.

“Do you think she’ll say yes?”

“I’m not giving her a choice to say no. But it’s a surprise, so don’t mention anything if she comes to visit.”

Emily slides her fingers over her mouth like it’s a zipper then flicks her fingers like she’s throwing away a key.

“Nice, I like that promise.” I fist bump her and sit back in my chair.

“Who are you surprising?”

I turn at the sound of the voice that I’d know anywhere. “Mom. What are you doing here?” Standing, I give her a big hug. Fifty-two years old and eight kids later, my mother looks the same as she did when I was in high school. Her short blonde hair and blue eyes are such a contrast to my own dark appearance.

“Thought I’d drop in and surprise you all. I haven’t seen Emily in a few weeks and something must be wrong with your phone because I haven’t heard from you in a while either.” Her eyes widen accusingly and I have to chuckle at her attempt to guilt trip me.

“Sorry, I’ve been busy.”

“Yeah, he’s got a girlfriend, Mrs. Walker.”

I shoot Emily a look, warning her to zip it, but she smiles back at me with a big toothy grin.

“Really? Tell me all about her. And Emily please call me Carol, sweetie.” My mom isn’t even talking to me. She’s sitting next to Emily’s bedside trying to get the juicy scoop from her. It’s ridiculous.

“And he’s bringing her down to Venice?” My mom’s eyes pop up to mine asking for confirmation and I give her nothing. “Well let’s hope he’s smart enough to bring her by to meet the family.” She sits back and begins rummaging through her purse. “Now, enough about Damian, I brought you the first book in the Harry Potter series. Do you want me to read it to you?”

Emily’s eyes sparkle as she nods and lies back down.

“Thanks, Mom. I’m going to let you two catch up. Call me and we can have dinner when you’re done.”

I give them both a kiss on the head and head out. I love my mom. She’s probably the best mom in the world, and when all is said and done, I can only hope Emily finds a mom just like her.

“So tell me about Addison Peacock?”

My mom stayed with Emily for a few hours until she fell asleep. Meeting me at one of the Mexican restaurants on State Street, she’s put her menu down and is staring at me with pure curiosity in her eyes.

“She’s my neighbor and no, she’s not my girlfriend.”

Nodding she takes a sip of the blended strawberry margarita in front of her.

“But she must mean something to you.”

Placing my menu on the table, I look my mom right in the eye. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Uh oh. This doesn’t sound good.” She slowly puts her drink back down.

I don’t really want to talk about my love life with my mom. Especially when at the moment there isn’t much to tell. But she is my mom, and I don’t want to shut her out either. Huffing out a frustrated sigh, I throw my menu on the table.

“Okay, I’m only going to say this once, so listen up.”

She stays silent, her soft eyes silently telling me to continue.

“Addison means a lot to me. I don’t want to mess it up. So, I’m taking it slow until she’s ready. She’s had a rough few years and needs some time, but yeah, there’s something there.”

Smiling she focuses her attention back on the menu until the server appears to take our order. And that right there is why I love my mom so much. She doesn’t ask me another question about Addison, doesn’t pry, doesn’t question my decisions or my thought process, she got what she wanted, confirmation that there is a woman in my life and that I’m working on it. She knows if I need advice, I’ll ask. My mom is fucking perfect.

We spend the next few hours catching up on Emily and how her treatment is going, how Thomas is trying to keep me at a distance, and how my own attorney is working on getting me some sort of temporary guardianship so that I can have a say in what happens to her. Although none of it looks good from my standpoint.

“That poor little girl. There has to be something else we can do.”

When I learned Megan had a daughter, I kept that information between Reed and me. When she ended up sick two years later, I called my mom, pushing the guilt and shame to the side I knew I needed her advice in figuring out the best way to help Emily. My mom lives in Malibu with my stepfather and I still have two brothers in high school that need her, but when she can drive up and visit, let Emily know she’s cared for, she makes the effort.

“Well, when you come up with a brilliant plan, let me know.”

We eat dinner, and she’s able to get a few more details about Addison out of me. My mom has always had a sixth sense of knowing how to fix just about any problem and she’s never failed in being there for me . . . ever. So, while I’m sad to see her go, I feel a new sense of awareness, like I can see the world a little clearer now.

For the first few weeks of Damian’s arrival in my apartment building, I looked forward to our morning routine. Watching him drink his coffee shirtless on our respective balconies and wondering who was going to come out with the craziest coffee mug was the highlight of my day. But ever since we came to some sort of truce over our one night of life altering sex, our nightly routine has become my favorite part of the day. For the past two weeks, we’ve spent every night going for a run, then we eat dinner, and in some form or fashion, I always end up lying between his legs, my back to his front as he wraps his arms around me, and we gaze up at the stars.

He hasn’t kissed me since the night he left me standing breathless on our front porch, and talking about sex is out of the question. But I now know more than ever, that what we shared that night was so far from a mistake, that if I could take those words back, throw them out to sea and anchor them to the bottom of the ocean, I would do it in a heartbeat.

I messed up and I have no clue how to make it any better.

“I think I may lose my job,” I say as I snuggle further into his body, his strong arms embracing me.

“Why? Did you take the sex for money offer you told me about a few weeks ago?”

I gently jab him with my elbow and he grunts in reply. “Thomas keeps asking me to work on Emily’s case, and I keep finding reasons why I’m too busy. That excuse is only going to last so long.”

Damian’s arms squeeze me tighter. “Quit. Come work for me.”

I sit up a little and look back at him. “You mean fight for custody of Emily for you?”

He shakes his head. “No, I already have a team of attorneys working on that. I’m not getting Emily, but they’re trying to find some way for me to have a part in her life, guardianship or something like that. Maybe getting my mom involved.”

“Your mom?” This is all news to me. I assumed Damian had attorneys, but he’d never mentioned it before.

“Yeah, my mom’s raised eight kids, she and my stepdad can certainly afford to bring Emily into our family. I don’t know. It was a thought I had the other day and my team is trying to figure it out. But I’m sure I have a place for you in Extreme Mindlessness.”

I’m going to ignore that comment for now. First, I’m not interested in working for a fitness company and second, there’s no way I’m going to work for Damian. There’s too much that can go wrong with that scenario. I am however interested in this new development with his mom. Part of me thinks this idea is genius, the other is slightly hurt he never ran this idea past me before. I know Damian is close with his mom, but I had no idea they were close enough to discuss Emily’s future or that his mom would want to be a part of it. This is a huge reminder that he hasn’t let me inside his inner shell, and I don’t like the feeling one bit.

“Why are you scowling?” he asks as he sits up and his hands cup my face.

“I’m not scowling. I’m thinking.” I pull my face back slightly so he can’t touch me and his eyes open wide in surprise.

“Are you thinking about pouring that glass of wine over my head? Because you don’t have such a nice look on your face.”

“Do you trust me?” I ask.

He looks confused. “In what way?”

“In every way.”

“Addison, where are you going with this line of questioning?”

Debating how best to say this without sounding like a schoolgirl, I finally just blurt it out. “My feelings are hurt that you’ve been working on some plan for Emily, and you didn’t tell me about it before.”

My insides are angry, my throat thick with tension that I’m risking my job for him and yet he hasn’t given me the decency to let me into every part of his life. I know we’re not a couple, but dammit, except for the sex, we’ve been acting like one for the past few months. If he wants me to give him more than one night, he has to give me a little more of him. He’s got to give me something to let me know I’m not going to wake up one day and find him gone. I’ve already lived that nightmare once and I’m not interested in living through it again.

He doesn’t answer me, instead he grins, and his arms slide around my sides as he pulls me down on top of him. His breath is warm in my ear. “Addison, I literally came up with that plan this morning. But it is such a fucking turn on that you care so much that you’d get mad at a little late information. And if we were having sex, I’d do you right here on this lounge chair.”

Yes! Desire slams into my body at the thought of Damian taking me right here and instantly I have never wanted to have sex so badly. In this moment I know, I want this—always. Us as a team. I’ve always wanted to be a part of a team; maybe that’s why I’m obsessed with reality television. People working together to make stuff happen.

Matt was supposed to be my team. Then Paige and Mia became my team and I love them, but there is a void that I’m ready to fill, a loneliness that has been crawling all over the outer edges of my heart for years now. I never thought I’d get here, moving past the hurt and betrayal that I’ve lived with for so long. Damian was right when he said I needed to have sex, life-altering sex to move forward. I haven’t thought much about Matt for the past two weeks. And surprisingly, my phone’s been blissfully silent. For someone who claims to have left his wife for me, I’d think he would work a little harder at getting my attention, do everything in his power to make me believe he really wanted me. But Matt is not a man who can be trusted, and I need to remember that.

He shifts so we’re on our sides, face-to-face. His hand runs through my hair and his eyes follow the movement of each strand falling gracefully down to my shoulder.

My hand rests on his chest, his heart beating steadily under my palm. “Damian. We were never a mistake.”

Bringing my hand to his lips and kissing each of my fingers, he smiles into my palm. “No we weren’t.”

Feeling my heart pick up pace, I need tell him how I feel. He needs to know that I’m ready to move this forward. “Damian. I want this. I want you.”

Desire fills his eyes, and his breath deepens, but at the same time I feel a restraint begin to seep in. “One day Addison, when you have no more doubts, when you’re secure enough in your life to take a risk on me, we can take this further. But for now, I think we should continue to take this slow.”

Cupping my face with his hand, he leans forward. His lips gently brushing against mine, his breath coming out in a whoosh as he gently parts my lips and slips his tongue inside. I moan deep from the back of my throat and press my body up against his, throw my leg over his hip, and try to ease the deep ache that has begun between my legs. His erection is prominent, jabbing into my gut as I move closer to him. I’m completely lost in this moment, his hard body lined up against mine, his soft lips moving so passionately with my own. My hands grip his biceps, and I move to take this further.

Groaning from deep in his chest, he slightly backs away and begins to nibble at my bottom lip, down my jaw and to my throat. “As much as this kills me, Addison, I’m going to ask you to go home.”

What? No! Shaking my head, I grip him tighter. “I have no more doubts, Damian. I’m ready for the risk.”

His slight smile tells me this is something he’s been thinking long and hard about. He sits up so we’re face to face. “Addison, even though we were drunk, I remember every inch of your body, every sound that came out of your swollen perfect lips and every place your tongue touched me still tingles with desire. That night was the first right thing that’s happened to me in years, and the only reason you called us a mistake is because the way I make you feel scares the shit out of you. I’m not about to scare you away again.” His hand runs through my hair one more time and then he gets up off the chair, his pants tented and my body on fire.

Pulling me tight into an embrace, he whispers in my ear, “We’ll get there. One day at a time, we’ll get there.”