Текст книги "Fable of Happiness book three"

Автор книги: Pepper winters

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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

“SO...IF YOU’RE SOME sort of kid raised in the forest by raping bastards, how do you know what marriage is?” Josh asked, handing me a bottle of vibrant-colored liquid that claimed to provide a body’s requirements of electrolytes and minerals after a hard workout.

Josh caught me eyeing the label suspiciously. “It was the only thing in Gem’s fridge. She always has a stack of Gatorades for her late-night climbing sessions.”

I nodded in thanks and twisted the cap off, sniffing the sugary water. Supposed it couldn’t hurt—especially since the doctors said I was low in a bunch of vitamins.

He sat next to me at the outdoor table in Gem’s backyard. The afternoon sun granted a warm ambience, dappling the leaves above us.

I stayed tense, just in case his cease-fire was a ruse, but I did my best to relax too.

I was outside.

I was back in a place I could function.

This was my favorite spot at Gem’s house.

When she’d herded us all out here after a tearful reunion with her mother—and a hug that’d both put me on edge and also calmed me—I’d been able to take another proper breath since holding her in my arms.

She said yes.

Holy shit.

I hadn’t planned on saying any of that. I didn’t know where all that stuff came from or why, in that moment, it’d become the most important thing in the world to me. The only thing I ever wanted. Something I never thought I’d have.

Fuck.

Did I really...propose?

I didn’t get down on one knee. Wasn’t that what those characters did? I didn’t buy her fancy flowers or slay a dragon to make her choose me. Christ, I didn’t even have any money to get her a ring.

Jesus, what had I been thinking?

I know what I was thinking.

Gemma.

I wanted her for myself. Forever.

I wanted the world to know she was mine. To show everyone who might try to take me away again, who might try to claim me, that I was already claimed.

I’d chosen my new master.

I’d chosen her.

It was my choice.

My decision to fall and dedicate my entire life to hers.

It was a fucking honor to love her, and I never wanted to have that taken away from me—never wanted to feel the way I did this morning, worrying that I was one screw-up away from destroying everything good between us.

She’s mine.

And God, that knowledge settled the jagged parts of me I couldn’t control. Hopefully, my mind would behave now. She owned me, body and soul, so it made sense that she could help me control my triggers better.

After all, hearing her say yes had granted a strange kind of pride and a wonderful kind of peace.

We were more than just lovers, more than just friends.

We were family.

A true blue, legal and loving family.

Or at least...we will be once we get married.

“You’re doing that weird shit again,” Josh muttered, interrupting my crazy thoughts and dumping me back into the garden.

I blinked. “What weird shit?”

“Having a conversation with yourself.”

“I was talking out loud?”

“Nah.” He tipped the bottle to his lips, taking a drink. “But your eyes were darting around, and you were twitching a lot. It’s eerie.”

I flinched, looking down at my body, hating it for once again revealing my thoughts to a stranger. Gemma had read me easily. Now, her brother did too. Was it a by-product of living alone for so long? I rarely talked in that decade, but my thoughts were never quiet. I supposed those thoughts had become an animation of sorts, using muscles that were no longer used for conversation, puppeteering a body that had no companions.

“Hey, it’s all good.” Josh sighed. “I wasn’t saying it to make you self-conscious.”

I shrugged as if it hadn’t bothered me, trying to ignore how my gut panged at being told I was weird. How was I supposed to know what was normal? It wasn’t like I’d had society to guide me. Just how weird did I come across to him? How much would I have to change not to put people on edge or see me as different?

Wrapping my hand around my bottle, I dropped my stare. “I’ll try to do better. To not be so...weird.”

Josh smirked, saluting me with his bottle. “Guess you can’t be expected to be normal right off the bat.”

“Off the bat?” I scowled, not knowing that phrase.

“God, you really were sheltered, huh?”

“Sheltered from everyday stuff, yes. Sheltered from dark, painful shit? No.”

He winced, empathy filling his judging stare. “She’s not making that stuff up, is she?” His gaze shot to his sister. I followed his stare. Locking onto Gemma as she spoke to her mom beneath an evergreen tree at the bottom of the garden. The grass was overgrown, the outdoor table and chairs needed to be sanded and a new coat of varnish applied, and the flower beds were full of weeds, but I liked the wildness.

It reminded me of the valley.

Insects came and went.

Birds visited.

The sounds of society, hidden behind the moss-covered fence, were muted and easily forgotten.

He looked back at me, questions instead of judgment on his face. “You truly were trapped for that long?”

I stiffened but forced myself to nod. “Yes.”

“You literally only had animals to talk to?”

I half-smiled. “I didn’t befriend any of them if that’s what you think.”

“Why not?”

“What do you mean?”

“You would’ve been starved for company. You should’ve raised a wolf pup or something. Had a pet, you know? At least you would’ve had something to talk to instead of sitting in an empty house twitching with thoughts.”

I tried to hide another flinch.

Fuck, just how weird was I?

A heavy weight of melancholy filled me, slipping back to my past. “I...I was lost for a few years after my family left. Animals were food, not friends. I didn’t remember much apart from being hungry and trying to survive. I guess, by the time my memory came back, I was content with solitude.”

“Until my sister came along.”

I nodded with a faint grin. “Until your sister came along.”

“I still haven’t forgiven you for trapping her.” He pointed his bottle at me. “I might never forgive you for making us fear she was dead.”

I caught his narrowed stare. “I understand.”

He held my eyes for a long moment before nodding. “I see that you do. And that’s the only thing stopping me from telling Gemstone to get her head checked. I can’t believe she said yes to you.”

My heart fisted.

She said yes.

I looked back to where Gem laughed at something her mom said, the sun playing in her golden strands.

Fuck, she was beautiful.

Josh drank from his bottle of crazy pink water again. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he muttered, “You gonna answer my previous question by the way or just gawk at my sister all afternoon?”

I tore my gaze off Gemma, grateful she’d slipped into a pair of black leggings and a long-sleeved sweater and didn’t still wear her skimpy pajamas. Regardless of what she wore, my cock never stopped being aware of her.

Clearing my throat, I did my best to focus on Josh.

He waggled his eyebrows, waiting for me to reply. A whisper of panic licked through me. We sat close enough that I could see every hair on his arms and smell a faint whiff of body spray. His hands looked strong. He could hurt me if I continued dropping my guard.

The darkness inside me swirled alive.

It hissed that I wasn’t safe around a man.

That men were evil.

A threat.

A danger.

Not just to me but to Gemma.

My breathing turned heavy.

Sweat gathered on my lower back.

He’s her brother.

Chill the fuck out.

Unlocking my hand that’d squeezed my bottle of radioactive liquid until my knuckles turned white, I latched onto normalcy. I swallowed down my nonsense fear and asked, “What was your question again?”

He rolled his eyes. “I wanted to know how you even know what marriage is. I mean, you must, seeing as you spouted off a bunch of feelings and made my sister say yes.”

“I know what marriage is.”

Josh huffed. “Yes, but how? Did you have TV reception out there? Do you remember your parents before you were taken?”

I swallowed again. “I don’t remember much of anything before they took me.”

“Then how...?” He waved his bottle in the air. “You do know what marriage is, right? I mean, you just proposed to my damn sister. That shit is for life. I don’t like you, buddy, and I’m still on the fence that you have her best interests at heart even after hearing your story, but I can’t deny that she feels something for you, so I’m willing to be on my best behavior.” His teeth flashed in a tight smile. “Especially while my mom is here. Don’t want to stress her out any more than she already has been.”

I nodded. It’d been an unspoken agreement that the truth Gem and I had shared with Joshua would not be repeated to her mother. She’d received the condensed tale that I’d been hurt, Gem’s car hadn’t been usable, and there was no way to contact the outside world while I was recuperating.

I’d expected Gem’s mother to become guarded around me. To ask questions like Josh had. Instead, she’d just hugged me again, told me how glad she was that Gem wasn’t alone all that time, that I’d had help to recover, and welcomed me to the family.

She didn’t even know I’d proposed to her daughter the second before she’d walked in. She’d just blanket invited me into their world, and I wasn’t above accepting that invite because the deeper I fell into this new existence, the less inclined I was to leave it.

Yes, it was fucking terrifying.

Yes, my lungs still tickled with the aftermath of inhaling smoke as Fables burned to the ground.

And yes, I still had no idea who I wanted to be or how I’d fit into all of this, but one thing was for sure—I didn’t want to do any of this without Gem.

Therefore, she needed my ring on her finger and her last name to become mine.

“So...” Josh rolled his eyes. “Jeez, is it always this hard to get answers out of you?”

I looked at him. “I know most things that you do. Probably more if you don’t have time to read. I might have been hidden in a valley, away from conveniences and societies, but there were books.”

“Books?” His tone went high as if what I’d just said was stupid.

My hackles rose. “Yes, books. I read every single one of them in the library.”

“Library?”

“You going to repeat every word I say?”

He blinked. “So...you weren’t in a cave or something?”

I couldn’t stop the sarcastic laugh falling from my lips. “Would men and women who have the money to traffic kids for their kink want to play in a cave?”

“Well...” He shrugged and took another drink. “I don’t know how that stuff works.”

I narrowed my eyes, tasting my highlighter pink water for the first time. The sugar went straight to my head, adding another level of pain to my constant headache. I put the bottle on the table and stretched out in my chair. “There’s money in flesh. The place I was kept was...nice.” I rubbed at the odd pang in my chest at the thought that Fables—for all its imprisonment and pain—was now nothing more than ash on a valley floor. “It had many rooms, lots of expensive decorations, and hundreds upon hundreds of books. All on different topics. Topics that saved my life.”

“How so?”

“I didn’t know a thing about how to grow my own food until I started reading about cultivation. I didn’t know how to fix generators or other household stuff before I found the section on engineering. If it wasn’t for those books, I wouldn’t have stayed alive on my own.”

“That’s a big statement.” Josh wrinkled his nose.

“It’s the truth. I know what marriage is because I read every single romance book in that place. Fantasy, reality, fiction, and nonfiction. I know what falling in love is. I know what sacrifice is. I know what’s expected of me. And I also know what a fucking gift I’ve been given by Gemma saying yes.”

“Yeah, well, it’s too soon for all of that.”

“Not for me.” I shook my head. “I told you...it’s inevitable.”

“We’ll see.”

“No,” I growled. “It’s happening. When I’m able to earn a living and control my past, I’m marrying her.”

“Whatever, buddy.”

I opened my mouth to argue back, my temper rising, but Gem and her mom came toward us. They both wore matching smiles, and I noticed the similarities between the two women. Just like in the home movie, Gem’s mother had an aura of perpetual sadness in her stare. Sadness that I was well acquainted with—loss and grief and tragedy.

I scooted higher in my chair as Gem smiled at me and took the seat on the opposite side of the table. Her mother sat next to her. When they’d settled, she looked at me. “Apart from the hug this morning and a hasty introduction, we haven’t met properly.” Gem’s mom waved at me from across the table. “I was just so happy to have my girl back that I forgot to go over the niceties, I’m afraid. I’m Margaret, but everyone calls me Maggie.”

I bowed my head, doing my best to come across as someone worthy of her daughter. “I’m Kassen.”

“Interesting name.”

I shared a look with Gem. “It’s from a book, actually.”

“Oh? Which one?”

“A book of fables.” Tension gathered in my muscles, and a flicker of whiteness covered my stare. I waited it out, breathing shallowly for a few seconds until the garden returned. Gem gave me an encouraging smile, and my memory stayed exactly where it should be.

I sighed and allowed myself to relax a bit more.

I’d taken another pill when no one was looking.

Every hour that passed, I felt less under the shadow of my pain and more in the sun of my possibility.

The doctor was right.

The micro blackouts would pass eventually, along with all the other mess inside my head. As long as I could stay with this family and continue loving Gem...I’d be fine. No matter who I was or what became of me.

* * * * *

“Ready?”

I looked up from the carpet picnic that Gem had produced. “You bought all of this?”

“Yep.” She leaned forward and started to open the lids of numerous containers. Scents of herbs, spices, and delicious food wafted up. “I went to just get Mexican, but then I figured, you probably haven’t had an array of different food and definitely not in a very long time, so I went a bit nuts.” She laughed.

I rubbed my temples. There was a sea of containers. How much did each one of those cost, and what did I owe her?

She’d mentioned she was popping out to grab something quick and easy, seeing as she hadn’t replaced anything in her fridge from her disappearance, and I’d let her go on her own because...well, I had a splitting headache from spending the day in people’s company. And I didn’t trust myself around a crowd yet, especially with the whiteness teasing me more and more as I grew tired.

I’d held my own with her brother and mother. I hadn’t had too many white moments and didn’t attack anyone, which was an improvement. I’d been on my best behavior even when Josh did his best to get a rise out of me. Her mother never asked about the broken TV or displaced frames from the walls, and not once did I catch her staring at me as if any moment she’d call the police and have me taken away from her daughter. Despite my scars, despite Gemma’s bruises...her mother accepted what we told her.

That we’d met. Fallen in love. And were building a life together.

And as much as it hurt to socialize—with my concussion still upsetting my balance and mental processes—they stayed for most of the day.

I’d done my best to stay normal.

Most of the time, I didn’t have to participate in conversations as Gem’s family chatted about her video channel, what they went through trying to find her, and what Gem’s plans were now that she was back home.

Occasionally, Maggie would direct the conversation toward me, but after my confessions to Josh, along with the strain of being around lots of energies after eleven years of nothing, I was content to just sit and listen.

By the time they left, I was ready to sag against the wall and fall asleep.

But it was sleep that still scared me, so I popped another pill, let Gem go and grab dinner, all while I’d indulged in a hot (thank you, God) shower and stared at myself in the foggy bathroom mirror, trying to figure out a way to sleep safely beside Gem tonight, instead of assigning myself the couch.

“Dig in.” Gemma handed me a plate. “There’s Indian—not too spicy. Italian—very creamy. Mexican—very zesty. Thai—very fragrant. And a cheeseburger and fries—very yummy.” She grinned. “You’ve already had one of those, so I figured if nothing else interested you, at least you knew what to expect with a burger.”

“I-I don’t know what to say.”

She shrugged and spooned a helping of something orange and pungent onto her plate. “Don’t mention it. It’s an honor to experience things with you. It’s like I’m enjoying it for the first time too.” She took a bite of whatever she’d chosen. “Wow, that’s good.” Her eyes glazed over. “Butter chicken and jasmine rice. You know...if you ever end up in the wilderness again, you need to pack a rack of spices to liven up the bland vegetables.”

I shuddered at the thought of years’ worth of rationing and hunger pangs. “I think I’m done living off the land for now.”

“We can go buy some seeds in the next few days if you’d like? Start a veggie patch in the backyard if it will help keep your mind calm.”

I chose a hard shell thing which I thought was called a taco. Placing it on my plate, I caught her stunning stare. “That would be helpful, thanks.”

“An outdoor kind of therapy.”

I nodded and took a bite. Crunchy lettuce, tasty meat, and a heaping of creamy avocado. I closed my eyes in bliss. “God, I’d forgotten how food can make everything better.”

She nodded, a sad look coming into her eyes. “Were you fed well...before you were on your own?”

I wolfed down the rest of the taco and helped myself to a flaky pastry thing from the Indian container. “Not really. We had more than enough to keep us alive, of course, but it was just bland necessity, not a reward.” I swallowed hard against a swift memory of the times we were given food as a reward. Normally, I would bury those recollections and shovel more earth onto the grave of who I’d been, but tonight, I forced myself to be fully open with Gem.

After everything she’d done for me...I wanted to be better now instead of months from now. I wanted her to be safe with me. I wanted her to be able to fall asleep in my arms and not wake up bruised. “We would earn a big roast meal if we had a...long day serving. If you were bleeding or a guest was particularly proud of what they did to you, they could request a meal as a treat for us.”

Gemma stopped eating and shivered. “God, I’m so sorry.”

I shrugged and took a bite of the pastry. Potato and carrot all seasoned in a curry paste. “It’s in the past.”

“And you’re here now.”

I nodded and held her hazel stare. “With you.”

“With me.”

A shy smile broke her gorgeous face. “And you asked me to marry you.”

“I did.” I smiled back, still shocked and awed, with a mix of terror and pride.

“That was a surprise.”

“To me as well.” I chuckled. “It hadn’t been in my head until that very moment, but I guess it’s been in my heart for a while.”

Her cheeks pinked. “How long?”

“Probably when I woke up and thought you were the genie from my fable.”

She froze, her mind scooting back through all the moments between us. “Wait...you were still heavily concussed. I didn’t think you remembered those interactions?” Her eyes darted to the side. “There were many sides of you that woke during those first few days. And each wasn’t aware of the other.”

I grabbed a bottle of water and sipped, leaning back against the couch. We’d pushed the coffee table away and cleaned up the mess of the TV, leaving a good-sized piece of carpet for our picnic. “I only remembered the other day. In the hospital, actually. You were sleeping across the room, and I was watching you. I had a vague daydream of you saying you’d bring me happiness and felt an overwhelming sense of peace. When I went back to sleep and woke the next morning, I remembered that it wasn’t a daydream but a memory.”

I moved closer to her and pulled her into me. “You said you’d grant me happiness, Gem. That you’d make my wish come true.” My lips touched hers. The moment I kissed her, the air in my lungs vanished, leaving me light-headed with a tortured groan. “And you’ve kept that promise.”

“Always.” She kissed me back.

I yanked her onto my lap, hoping I didn’t just wipe out a bunch of food.

Her hands landed in my hair, and we forgot all about eating.

My headache faded a little as she ran her fingers over my scalp and her tongue lashed against mine.

She swept me away from a day of being the best I could be, allowing me to let go for a moment, to be hers, to be free in her arms because there...I found true happiness.

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