Текст книги "Fable of Happiness book three"

Автор книги: Pepper winters

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 24 страниц)

It was embarrassing how quickly he’d driven me to an orgasm.

“I’m close. I’m—” I groaned as he stopped. A heartbeat later, the bed dipped, and a blur of his jeans flying into the corner of the room caught my gaze. He spread out over me, kissing me deep, tasting of me as his hot, hard cock prodded between my legs.

I went to help guide him, but he beat me to it.

With a quaking, lust-cracked voice, he muttered, “I can do it.” Reaching for his cock, he hissed between his teeth when he wrapped his fingers around himself. The pain in his eyes returned along with a thousand ghosts he’d yet to exterminate. Sweat broke out over his forehead as he guided his erection to my entrance and let go of himself.

Breathing hard, he sank inside me, his head pressed against mine, his trembling body pushing me against the mattress. “I’ll get better,” he breathed, thrusting the final inch into me. “One day, I’ll be able to show you how much you mean to me. I want to watch you come by your own hand while I do the same.”

I shivered as his cock struck the perfect spot inside, nudging my orgasm back into being.

I squirmed beneath him, my hips rising to meet his as his hand closed over my breast. “I look forward to it,” I moaned, settling into the rocking motion of Kas fucking me possessively, completely, lovingly.

We lost ourselves to the moment.

We climbed up the pleasure mountain and fell together, rippling with bands of pleasure, holding each other as we crashed at the bottom.

The exhaustion that I’d been battling ever since we’d left the valley returned like an entire house landed on my head.

I was home.

With the man I loved.

Who’d just stolen the rest of my coherency and was currently in my bed.

My eyes drifted closed as Kas withdrew, and I rolled onto my side. I patted the mattress behind me, fully expecting him to snuggle in close. We could shower later. We could unpack and explore later. We could eat and talk...later.

Kas didn’t spoon me, and for a second, I hovered in tiredness before the chill along my naked skin made my eyes open.

I focused on Kas.

Instantly, my exhaustion faded.

He’d already put his jeans back on and pulled his T-shirt back into place.

I sat up, yanking a silver cushion over my nudity. “Where are you going?”

Stark fear filled me that he was leaving.

That we’d just arrived but all of this was too much, too soon, too overwhelming. “If you don’t like it here, we can go—”

“It’s not that.” Grabbing one of my pillows, he held it dangling by his thigh, his eyes lingering on me, full of frustration, regret, and need. “I can’t sleep in here with you.”

I shook my head. “You slept with me in the hospital. Not once did you wake and try to hurt me.”

“I know, but I think I always knew that if I did wake up mid-strangle, a doctor would’ve come to your aid a moment later. They would’ve stopped me, and you would’ve been safe because we weren’t alone, not really.” He backed toward the door. “We’re alone here. I’m tired. My head hurts. I’ve had micro whiteouts for the past few hours. I think I should sleep alone tonight.”

Pain bruised my heart. “But what about your choice back at Fables? You said you made the choice to no longer let your nightmares control you.”

He took a moment to reply, his voice rusty and coarse. “I wish it was that simple. I’ve made more progress than I thought possible, but...I don’t know if I’m still capable of hurting you against my will. I’m not willing to risk it.”

“You won’t.”

“I don’t know that.”

“I trust you, Kas.”

He shrugged sadly. “But I don’t trust myself.” Stepping into the hallway, he murmured, “Eventually, I’ll be able to sleep right there beside you. Believe me, it’s fucking killing me to leave. But...I love you. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be here. And if I did anything to harm you—” He cleared his throat, his shoulders swooping back with determination. “Good night, Gem. Thanks for welcoming me into your home. I’ll...I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

Tears came for no other reason than I was tired and wrung out and hurting for both of us. I’d been ignoring the realities of our situation, believing he’d be cured now that we were away from Fables.

I’d been silly to think all his issues would disappear overnight.

Nodding slowly, I smiled. “I’ll see you in the morning.” I said it like a promise and a threat. “Don’t go outside until I’m with you, okay? I want to be with you when you explore your new home.”

I also, selfishly, didn’t want him seeing trees in the distance and running.

I didn’t fully trust that Kas was adaptable to suburban life. The call to return to the wild might be too great, and the urge to lock all my doors and trap him inside made me just as bad as the monsters who’d captured him in his youth.

“I won’t.” He looked at me one last time, his gaze still heated from our mutual orgasm and weary from our journey. “Good night, Gem.”

He closed the door before I could blow him a kiss goodbye.

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CHAPTER SIXTEEN

I CLUTCHED THE PILLOW I’d stolen from Gemma’s bed.

Her scent covered it, making my cock twitch for a second round. I hadn’t meant to pounce on her like that. I hadn’t asked if she was okay with it. I hadn’t even looked around her home before the urge to be inside her undid me.

I’d needed her, not because I wanted her to soothe the aches in my chest and the splinters in my head, nor because I was at the point of complete oversaturation thanks to all this goddamn newness. I’d needed her because she was my link between this world and my old one.

She was my one constant—the girl who kept me grounded enough to accept what was happening and to have faith that I’d still be standing when the dust settled. If I was totally honest with myself, I’d needed her to remind myself that I was still me.

Still a man.

Still worthy of her even if I currently had nothing to my name. I no longer had a valley, a way of growing food, or the monotony of daily survival tasks, and that left me with a very uncomfortable question.

Who the fuck am I?

And who did I want to become?

In reality, that question was simple.

I was free.

Free.

And for the first time, I was afraid of that word.

Afraid of the sheer size of it. The weight of it. The overwhelming shock that I was free, but I had no idea how to be free.

I pinched my brow, squeezing my eyes closed while standing silently in Gemma’s corridor. A white flash blinded me—the tenth one today.

I’d been able to hide the majority from Gem while she was driving. The ones in the car had come and gone as we’d driven farther from the valley, and each time, the whiteness had tormented me with instability. The newness of everything hurt—using pain against me as if seeking a cure by forcing me to forget.

It didn’t like that I wasn’t on board with chosen amnesia anymore. My mind couldn’t understand why I refused to let the whiteness sweep everything away. Luckily, the blankness only managed to steal a few seconds here and there.

I wouldn’t let them take any more than that from me. I still cursed the loss of the night I’d shared a bath with Gemma. For her to have a memory that I had no recollection of fucking killed me. And who knew? Perhaps, if I’d actually been able to remember that night, I might’ve already healed in so many ways.

My nostrils flared as I blinked back the worst of the whiteness and opened my eyes. Inhaling hard, I brushed aside the rest of the haze and focused on Gem’s corridor. I knew where I was. I knew what’d happened up to this point. My mind was intact even though it didn’t want to be.

The doctor, back at the hospital, had described my micro blackouts as my brain misfiring. That it was a healing process that some concussed patients had to go through.

He’d told me to brace through them but not fight them. To pretend each attack was just heavy whitewash from a wave crashing upon a rock. The only difference from being washed away and forgetting like I had at Fables was to hold on to that rock until the wave passed.

And it would pass.

They would stop, eventually.

I just had to hold on until then.

Looking back at Gem’s closed door, I moved away.

I hadn’t been lying that I didn’t trust myself around her. I’d snuck one of the pills the doctor had given me and would commit to taking a medicine I didn’t understand if it made me sane, but I didn’t know how powerful they were in preventing night terrors so soon.

Therefore, I would sleep alone.

Like usual.

Miles and miles away from the place I used to call home. Far, far away from Jareth and his party with alcohol and fire, and I was still seeking a dormitory in which to barricade myself inside.

I shook my head at my stupidity.

I was getting sick of this side of myself. The side that was still a victim. Still unsure that this new life could be trusted.

My feet stopped.

I wanted to go back into her bedroom so fucking badly. I wanted to curl around her and fall asleep with her in my arms. I wanted to be normal. To fully claim her and stop all the shit inside my head.

But fuck...if I woke up and found I’d hurt her?

My heart almost stopped.

Soon.

Focus on fixing the rest of yourself, and then you can be normal.

For now...sleeping apart was for both our sakes.

Hugging her pillow, I padded down the corridor and stuck my head into the bathroom and two other bedrooms. One bedroom was an office with wall-to-wall shelving full of climbing photos, framed accolades, a desk full of technology, and a box in the corner overflowing with ropes and old climbing shoes. The other bedroom had been converted into a workout spot with a yoga mat in the middle of the floor along with numerous pink and purple climbing holds screwed into the wall, creeping over the ceiling with a chin-up bar braced on the other side of the room.

I paused.

My heart swelled with gratefulness that Gem valued her own space so much, she’d banished all space for any guests.

My mouth went sour at that word.

Fuck.

I never wanted to see another guest in my life. And where better place to stay than in a house that had no space for anyone else but me and Gem.

When I’d first walked into her house, I’d felt claustrophobic. Her living room and kitchen would’ve fit into the foyer of Fables. Her bedroom was the size of one of my old bathrooms, yet...something was special about this place that Fables had never been able to earn.

This felt comforting. Safe. The soft cream on the walls with white trim and pretty artwork of sunsets over boulders and sunrises over forests gave me a vibe of relaxation and peace.

Heading back to the living room, I eyed up the mess left behind by her brother. My lips twitched to think that Gem and her brother’s cleanliness weren’t nearly as obsessive as mine. Then again, they had a life to live. They had things outside of cleaning and cooking to spend their time on. It wasn’t that I liked cleaning. It was just something to do. A task to keep my hands busy while my mind faded more and more.

An itch to clean filled me. To ensure that when Gem woke in the morning, her house was spotless.

I didn’t know how long it would be before I could earn money of my own, but for now...I had two hands and a knack for cleaning after a decade of training.

It’s the least I can do.

Tossing my pillow onto her couch, I marched into the kitchen to search the cupboards for cleaning products. She only had the bare minimum disinfectant spray and glass cleaner, along with half a roll of paper towel.

Her lack of supplies surprised me.

I’d run out of all this stuff a year after killing everyone at Fables. I’d gone through copious amounts of bleach and rags to clean out the blood and putrid stench of death. If Fables hadn’t had a year’s worth supply of cleaning products, I wouldn’t have been able to get it as spotless as I did.

However, what was Gemma’s excuse?

She lived in a world where stores were open all hours with shelves piled high full of things. She didn’t have to use lemons from the orchard outside to cut through grime. She could just purchase products with her plastic card.

Glancing around her place, I noticed no knickknacks or clutter. She didn’t have expensive clocks like Storymaker had in his library. She didn’t display weapons or animal skins or had anything symbolizing her status.

Her house was homey but stark.

It was yet another thing I didn’t know about her. I knew she was kind and caring and forgiving to a fault, but I didn’t know what sort of person she was in this world. A spender or a saver? A partier or a recluse?

What did she do during her time off?

What lucky people got to hang out with her while I’d been rotting away in my valley?

My head pounded as the urge to know everything made me groan.

Whispers of the ghosts I’d left behind tried to fill my ears.

She’ll realize what you are soon enough, Kas.

You’re nothing. That’s why you were taken from this world and given to Fables. You’re worthless without that place.

Spinning on my heel, I turned my back on those lies.

I might not be whole yet, but I wasn’t so badly cracked that I believed them anymore. Jareth had helped with that. He’d pushed me into healing, and Gemma was the glue keeping me together.

I was mending.

I was grateful.

I would evolve.

This was my new life now.

And I’m not going to waste it.

Surveying the mess in Gem’s house, I blinked back tiredness and began to earn my keep.

I cleaned.

I cleaned until her house sparkled and exhaustion leaped on my back.

I cleaned until my mind felt clearer, calmer.

And only once I was satisfied that the mess was tidy did I stumble to the couch, grab her delicious-smelling pillow, and land face-first into unconsciousness.

* * * * *

“Any last words?” My hand held the knife to some rapist’s throat, poised to slit him from ear to ear.

“Yeah, tell that Nyx chick that she’ll never be free of me.”

I looked over my shoulder at Nyx.

She stood with her legs braced and arms crossed. Blood trickled down her cheek, and tears danced in her eyes, but she wasn’t cowering, wasn’t running. She was done being their possession, and I was so fucking proud of her.

“You’re wrong, asshole. I’ve already forgotten you,” she hissed. Her eyes latched onto mine, glowing with death. “Do it. Kill that son of a bitch so we can walk in the sunlight.”

My hand sliced.

The guy howled.

Warm copper splashed my face and throat.

Rising from my squat, I caught a glimpse of myself in a blackened mirror.

Only...it wasn’t me.

One blue eye and one brown stared back.

Hair flopped over my forehead.

Retribution gleamed on my face.

My lips moved, but it wasn’t me who spoke. It was Jareth. “No one is safe from me.” My teeth flashed in the mirror, stained in blood and vows. “No one.”

I woke in a cold sweat, my legs thrashing under a blanket, my mind still half in my dream and half panicking with confusion.

Jareth.

He needed my help.

He wasn’t safe.

They’d hurt him.

I let out a pained grunt, trying to understand where the fuck I was.

A hand landed on my chest, pushing me down as I tried to launch upright. “Whoa, buddy, just a bad dream. You’re all good.”

A stranger’s hand on me.

A man’s voice in my ears.

Ah, shit.

The trigger set off a detonation inside me.

Every man who’d ever touched me, every voice that’d ever teased me, and every fucking minute of agony I’d been given flooded through my brain.

I lost touch with reality.

Panic roared through my system.

I.

Lost.

It.

The man’s hand pushed me harder, trying to keep me lying down. “I told you, buddy. It’s all good. Just calm down, alright?”

His fingers bit into me.

I was a kid again.

A kid being held down for someone to rape and hurt.

No.

Fuck, no.

Rage I couldn’t control drenched everything.

I’d kill him.

I’d rip his cock off and tear out his heart—

My eyes snapped open, my hands wrapped around the wrist holding me down, and I let go of everything.

It was so easy.

Too easy.

The guy went flying across the room and crashed into the TV as I swooped to my feet with balled hands. It’d taken no effort at all. A simple flex of power. A dark decision to no longer be the victim.

He was my victim.

He would pay for every fucking thing I’d endured.

The guy rolled onto his hands and knees just as the TV toppled from the table and crashed to the floor in a splinter of glass.

I didn’t recognize any of it.

Where the hell am I?

I blinked at a coffee table with neatly stacked maps and climbing pamphlets in front of me. A sparkling kitchen in the morning sunshine existed behind me.

Everything seemed small and strange and—

“Who the hell are you?” the stranger stood, brushing off TV glass from his jeans. A small trickle of blood appeared in the corner of his mouth.

I was past words.

I was nothing but fists and fury.

He’d trespassed.

He’d entered this place where—

Gemma!

Her face and wonderful kindness shoved its way past my anger. Memories flooded me from yesterday. This was her place. This was her living room. I’d cleaned it last night and—

“You gonna answer me, asshole?” The man splayed his legs a little as if readying for war. His hands came up. “Where’s my sister? What the hell did you do with Gemma?”

I crouched, ready to strike.

My instincts overtook me.

I couldn’t control them.

Couldn’t get the possessiveness to fade.

Some part of me knew this was Gem’s brother. I’d seen him on the video. He meant me no harm. He meant Gemma no harm.

But fuck, the blood from my dream was still in my nose.

Jareth’s voice howled in my ears.

My body burned from his unwanted touch.

No one. Fucking no one was allowed to touch me without consent again.

Darkness descended over any rational sanity I had left.

I shook my head, trying to snap out of it before it was too late.

Gem!

“Oi, you bastard!” The man didn’t give me a chance to stop myself. Completely unaware that I was seconds away from murdering him, he stalked around the coffee table and stabbed me in the shoulder with his finger. “Tell me where she is!” He stabbed me again, triggering self-preservation. “Tell me, right now! Otherwise, I’m gonna knock you so hard on your ass, I’ll be able to pull whatever answers I want out of you!”

“Oh, you’re in trouble, Kas. A new guest has a fetish for your sweet ass.”

I stumbled backward, bumping into the couch.

“Stop ignoring me!” the guy yelled.

“Strip, darling Kassen. Let’s see that pretty cock—”

“Where is my damn sister!”

I buckled over.

I tried to stop it.

I truly did.

“Bend over, pretty Kas. Spread those cheeks and let him stick his cock—”

I snarled.

“I always loved your ass. You were always the most reactive one whenever we’d play—”

STOP IT!

“What the fuck is your problem?” he yelled. “You’re mumbling like a crazy person.” He crowded into me. Trapping me between his body and the couch. My mind hissed. Whiteness teased my already manic vision. His body language bristled with aggression. His hands fisted. His face twisted with hate. “Cat got your tongue, you weirdo?”

“Cat got your tongue, Kas? Come here, and I’ll show you where tongues belong—”

“You know I’m speaking to you, right?” The guy’s hand landed on my chest, pushing me.

And that was it.

I shoved him backward, leaped over the coffee table, grabbed him from behind, and hurt him before he could hurt me. Spinning him to face me, I pulled my arm back. My fist connected with his jaw as his yell tried to weasel past the whiteness inside my mind.

“Gemma! Gem!” He kept yelling as I punched him again, throwing him away from me with ease. He crashed against the wall before scrambling to his feet and throwing a vase at my face.

I spun to deflect.

The heavy porcelain landed between my shoulder blades, shoving me to my knees.

He took off with the sound of pounding feet. “Gem!”

Fuck.

He was running toward what was mine.

“He’ll hurt her, Kas. He’ll hurt her like Levin hurt you.”

I roared and ran after him.

“If he gets to her, he’ll break her, just like we broke you.”

I snarled and bounced off the walls, knocking a sunset print to the floor. The whiteness continued to blend my present and my past, tangling the human part of me that wanted to stop and the monster part of me that wanted to destroy everything.

My enemy got to the end of the corridor before I snatched his clothing and yanked him to a stop. In a single breath, I pinned him against the wall and jammed my arm against this throat. “Don’t. Fucking. Move.” My other hand pulled back, ready to slam into his nose.

A door opened to my right. A feminine shape appeared.

An unholy shout shattered my eardrums. “KAS! Let my brother go. RIGHT THE HELL NOW!”

The whiteness over my vision vanished.

Reality swept in.

I stumbled backward, landing against the other wall, breathing hard.

Ah, shit.

Shit!

Raking my hands through my hair, I mumbled, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean. I tried to stop. I didn’t mean...” I looked up at Gemma, who stood with messy blond hair, cute gray pajamas, and wide, worried hazel eyes. “I was having a dream and—”

“Gem, who the hell is this?” her brother bit out.

My instincts roared to life again.

A snarl spilled from my lips, completely out of my control.

Gemma pointed a finger at both of us, her hands shaking with anger. “Joshua, not another word. Go into the living room. I’ll be right there. Kas, just stop it. Calm down and breathe.”

“I’m not leaving you with this madman,” Josh spluttered. “Are you crazy?”

“LEAVE!” she yelled. “Don’t make me ask again.”

Her brother’s eyebrows vanished into his hair before he grumbled something under his breath, glowered at me, and then trudged down the corridor. He stopped at the end. “I’m two seconds away from knocking you the fuck out, you bastard. Touch my sister inappropriately, and you’re a dead man.” He gave me one last glare before disappearing into the kitchen.

The moment he was gone, Gemma dropped her arms and hugged herself. She sighed heavily, her gaze pinning me to the spot. “Night terror?”

I shook my head, prepared to grovel for her forgiveness. “I woke and didn’t know where I was. The dream I’d been having was...violent. Your brother tried to comfort me, I think. But he touched me, and it set off a chain reaction I couldn’t stop.”

She nodded slowly. “But you’re aware now? You know what you did, and why you can’t do it again?”

I dared step toward her.

I waited for her to flinch or show any sign that she was afraid of me before wrapping my arms around her and holding her tight. Her scent filled my nose, her heat calmed my racing heart, and I was able to breathe properly for the first time since waking up. “I do. Christ, I’m so sorry. I’ll do whatever’s necessary to prove to your brother that I’m not a danger—to him or to you.”

The tension faded from her body. “Thank you.”

Sickness continued to rage in my blood.

Vertigo made the ground shift beneath my feet.

Fuck, what had I done?

“Tell me how to fix this,” I murmured into her hair. True terror noosed my heart. “Tell me I haven’t just ruined this before it’s already begun.”

She shook her head, snuggling closer. “We both knew this would take time.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“I know.”

“What can I do to fix—?”

“Kas.” She looked up, her eyes glossy with sadness and understanding. “It’s okay.”

“He probably won’t agree with you.”

“Well, he shouldn’t have come in uninvited.”

“And I shouldn’t be such a fuckup that I tried to kill your only brother.”

She laughed under her breath, granting fresh pain but also dispersing some of the intense pressure in my chest. “We’ll get through this.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me. “Together, remember?”

I shuddered.

How could she forgive me for this?

How could she forgive me for any of it?

Wrapping my arms around her again, I squeezed her so damn tight. “I’m yours, Gem. Every part of me. I’ll never stop trying to be better...for you.”

“Ah, Kas.” She hugged me back. “It’s okay. It will be okay. You’ll see.”

“I love you.” I nuzzled her nose with mine. “I don’t think I’d be able to breathe again if I ever did something to make you hate me.”

“Lucky for you, that won’t happen.”

“But I almost murdered—”

“And we’ll put strategies in place to stop it from happening again.” She kissed me gently. “I love you too, Kas. And I welcomed you into my home, knowing how hard this might be...for both of us. If you’re not coping, tell me. And if I’m not coping, I’ll tell you. But regardless of how hard things get, it will get better. I know it will.”

My cock twitched with hunger. A hunger that didn’t come from lust but pure, unconditional love. I’d never wanted someone as much as I wanted Gemma. I’d never wanted to do anything, be anything just to ensure she was happy and safe.

My heart chose that moment to bind her to me. Not just for now. Not just temporary or permanently but forever.

Past life.

Past death.

She was it for me. I didn’t need more days or nights to know. I didn’t need to explore this new world and navigate a globe full of people.

She was my people.

The only person I ever needed.

And fuck, if that wasn’t the biggest, rawest acknowledgment of my life.

Wriggling out of my embrace, she smiled gently. “Well, I can say I don’t ever want that alarm clock again.” She stretched, revealing part of her stomach above the night shorts she wore.

My mouth went dry.

My cock went hard.

I glanced past her to her messy bed and debated pushing her inside to—

“Don’t you even dare.” She cracked a smile. “We need to fix this mess you made with my brother.”

My shoulders slouched. “I truly didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“I know.” Returning to her bedroom, she grabbed a matching gray robe and strode down the hallway. “Come on. Let’s get the introductions out of the way, shall we?”

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