Текст книги "Alphas burden"

Автор книги: Luna lark

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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 21 страниц)

23AVERY

After a while, I split off from Liam and Taryn’s wolves to continue exploring. I enjoy running with them, but they turn for Silver Falls, probably wanting a morning swim. Soon I’ll get to join them for a pack run.

By the time I shift back, I’ve made it to the tree line surrounding the commons. The central lawn is bustling with people hanging around the dining hall, coming in and out of a late lunch.

“Good afternoon.”

I yank down the shirt dress I’m pulling on and whirl to the cabin tucked into the cover of evergreens. One of the Farrows elders and his granddaughter sit on the porch. I glance around, finding no one else.

“Good afternoon,” I stammer.

“There’s a nice spread for lunch. Alma hasn’t switched with Martine today. Better hurry if you want to get some of her jam donuts she made for dessert,” he advises sagely.

“Oh. Thanks, I will.” Maybe I’ll get some to bring back for Bea and Lena.

He’s not the only one to acknowledge me on my way through the commons. A surprising number of people make eye contact, some even smiling at me as if I haven’t been a pariah they whispered about for years. My throat goes tight at how nice it is to be acknowledged. Accepted.

There are still a few scathing looks when I enter the dining hall to remind me I haven’t tripped through a fae portal to an alternate realm.

I’m scanning for a seat when Callie comes in behind me. She offers a tentative smile.

“Hi, Avery. Are you doing okay?” She twirls her hair around her finger, the same nervous habit she’s had since she was a kid.

I return her smile, my heart warming that she’s speaking to me. “I am, thanks. You’re eating late today.”

“I’m avoiding my brother until he takes his head out of his ass. Want to sit with me?”

I chuckle and hike my thumb in the opposite direction. “I was just going to duck into the kitchen to raid the donuts for my sisters. Want some?”

“Yes. That’s way better than sitting up there alone.”

We loiter by the swinging double doors, grabbing the first opportunity to head to the kitchens. Alma’s distracted and I wave at Callie to grab two baskets waiting to go out to tables. Before we’re caught, we dash through the side door.

Alma’s shout comes behind us. “No eating on the go in my kitchen!”

“I’ll bring you a fresh joint salve as payment,” I call.

We race by the commissary, not stopping until we reach the wraparound porch of the lodge. Callie’s giggles are contagious. We each toast with a donut, humming in unison at the warm sugary dough.

“Are you coming in? I don’t think Caden’s here if you’re avoiding him, too. He went somewhere in his truck and has been out most of the day.”

“I’m going to get these back.” Her expression falls. “You can come over anytime you want.”

“Now?” She bites her lip hopefully.

“Sure.”

We fall into step, taking the road to the northern perimeter. She peeks at me occasionally.

“For what it’s worth, I never thought you were to blame for anything,” she finally says in a rush. “I… I really missed you. And I’m sorry. I was afraid to still talk to you but I wanted to all the time.”

My heart wobbles and I wrap her in a side hug. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. I missed you, too.”

She sniffles, leaning her head on my shoulder, reminding me just how young she was when everything changed for us. It was difficult enough to face my life being turned inside out at sixteen, I can only imagine how confusing it was for her at fourteen. Other than Taryn, I was her only close friend.

“Come on. The girls will be really happy to see you.” I take her hand and she holds tight.

When we make it to the cottage, I take pride in giving a tour of the garden, explaining everything planted and how I use it. Her eyes widen with respect by the time we go inside.

“I brought donuts and a surprise visitor,” I announce.

Wait.

My head pops up. I try the door again. There’s no creak. It swings properly and I realize it’s completely different from the crooked one that I’ve tried to fix hundreds of times.

“Hold on. What happened to the door? And where did you get that fur blanket from?”

Lena doesn’t look up from her book right away. She tends to finish a passage before marking her place, then the rest of the world is allowed to exist. Beatrix isn’t home. She must’ve gone out.

“Alpha Blackburn stopped by while you were gone.” Lena brightens when Callie waves to her. “Hi! Can we sit outside? He said the porch only needed an hour to dry. I’m feeling much better. No cough, see?”

She breathes deeply a few times without any crackle in her lungs. My lips part and I peer out the window. Sure enough, the crumbling stone’s been patched. I missed it on my way in, automatically hopping over the damage while I gave Callie the same instruction.

I’m used to his wolf spending the night outside my window now, accepting what I’ve gathered from my own wolf that he’s not happy unless he’s guarding me whether I need it or not. Usually he’s gone by morning, unless I catch him like I did before I left today.

I expect irritation to fizzle along my nerves and a need to protect my family, but it doesn’t come at the thought of him here.

Mate is protector, my wolf whispers.

I help Lena up. “Wait, is that a new rocking chair?”

“He brought that, too.” She smiles at my expression. “He’s a lot nicer than you think. He stocked us up with all this food and blankets. Beatrix went with him to get more nails so they can build a new fence for your garden. You should see what he put on your workbench.”

I’m at a loss for words, exchanging a glance with Callie. She shrugs.

“Don’t look at me. Like I said, I’ve been avoiding him. He hasn’t said a word to me about any of this.”

Lena giggles at my flabbergasted reaction to the array of brand new gardening tools at my workspace, including a roll of different sized knives much sharper than the rusted one I use for chopping and a brand new pair of shears.

The note beneath the roll reads: For whenever I’ve done something else to deserve it, you can threaten me with your garden shears again. If you need anything else, it’s yours. You know where to find me. – C

I trace his handwriting and my stomach fills with butterflies.

He did all this while I was gone? My lips slide together, a tender smile breaking free.

“He said he’s just getting started,” Lena says.

I didn’t realize I spoke the question aloud. She hugs her book to her chest and beams.

“You haven’t smiled like that in a long time. Like you’re really happy.”

I duck my head, unable to stop. I don’t recall the last time I experienced such easy joy. My heartbeat drums insistently as a glow fills me from within.

I don’t know what to expect two days later when I’m told I’m supposed to go to the healer’s cabin. It certainly isn’t arguing with the cantankerous male who has been the pack’s healer for two and a half generations. He has to be pushing two hundred by now, and could be languishing on the porches smoking pipes and listening to the strum of banjos in the evenings like the rest of the pack elders.

Instead, he’s here going blue in the face at my insistence that shifters can be susceptible to illnesses and ailments outside of moon madness.

“This is a ridiculous waste of my time. If you’d just listen instead of yelling over me, you might actually learn something about healing,” I say flatly.

“You can’t teach me nothin’ I don’t know about anythin’,” he hollers with a stomp of his foot. “I’ve been minding this pack for longer than you’ve been born.”

“She’s right, Eugene,” Alisha pleads. “Remember when I had trouble with a skin reaction after my runs and you kept telling me it would get better? It didn’t randomly go away. Avery’s the one who helped me with a paste to calm down the rash I was getting, and figured out I’m allergic to the ragweed my wolf loves to roll around in.”

It’s nice that she’s taking my side. She’s one of my best customers that trades often with me.

“Because people all say she’s a witch,” he snaps. “Allergies aren’t real. Maybe she cursed you with the rash in the first place for lookin’ at her wrong. Told you not to meddle with the likes of her, didn’t I?”

I’m so used to years of unkind whispers and dirty looks from the pack, his words don’t even sting. I rub my temple with a sigh at his incompetence.

Alisha scoffs. “She’s not a witch. I’ve been telling you for years about how all the things she makes from plants helps treat some cases you write off. There are others in the pack that would benefit from us expanding our horizons with her knowledge.”

“Hogwash.”

“It’s not.” I toss my hands up. “You only think that because you’ve never tried anything different. People in this pack need better. I needed better when my sister was sick.”

He doesn’t like the glare I give him. “I told that pup Caden I didn’t want a consult and he didn’t listen.”

“Alpha Blackburn,” I correct sharply, surprising myself. “His age has nothing to do with his rank. He’s still your alpha.”

He scrunches his face. “This isn’t going to work.”

“That’s too bad, because it’s not up to you,” Alisha says.

Elder Eugene storms out shouting about not needing extra hands. She stands in the front doorway, waving.

“Go have something to eat before you bother coming back here.” She offers me an apologetic smile. “Don’t mind him. He’s cranky and stubborn and his joints always ache. But we’ll get him to come around. I’m really glad to have you here.”

A smirk crosses my face. I have several remedies for aching joints, but I’m not sharing them with him. “What did he mean about extra help? Am I being assigned to the healer’s cabin?”

I’ve avoided this place ever since the winter Lena got pneumonia. On one hand, working here could mean improving Lena’s health, and give me the opportunity to see who else might need help like she did. On the other, I’d have to deal with him.

“Yes. You have full access to everything here. You can take appointments in the second room, and if you need to bring anything in I’ve made space for you to store your supplies right through here.”

She shows me a spacious pantry closet that’s been cleared out.

“Wait. What?”

She doesn’t follow my confusion. “Is this not enough room? I wasn’t sure how much would be good. When I come up to get the paste you make me, you seem to keep it organized in such a small workspace.”

“No, I mean taking appointments?”

“You’re one of the healers, so yes.”

I stare at her. “I need to go.”

Before she gets another word out, I’m rushing from the cabin. Packmates wave as I hurry down roads to the central lawn and head right to the Alpha’s lodge. Caden’s head is bent over his desk in the middle of a meeting with Liam, Gabe, and some elders who advised his father when I bustle in.

“With the electrical extension project finishing up, we should consider how—Avery.”

Everything about him changes the instant he sees me, his commanding tone softening with warmth and something else that fills my stomach with flutters when he says my name like it’s the best part of his day.

I falter, realizing I’ve barged right into his office. Not one enforcer stopped me, either. The implication of why I’d be allowed free rein anywhere in the pack now compared to a short time ago makes me swallow the thick tangle of emotions clogging my throat. My wolf has no such qualms, feeling this is her place.

We might have a mate bond, but we haven’t claimed each other to officially become a mated pair. My heart swells and creeps up my throat, my pulse speeding at the possibility.

I shake my head, passing a sheepish look to the elders while Liam chuckles under his breath. “Sorry. I interrupted.”

“It’s fine.” With a wave, Caden dismisses everyone, then circles his desk to lean against it in a casual slouch that puts us at eye level. “What do you need?”

You, the bond sings. My wolf agrees, pressing forward to bask in his reassuring earthy cedarwood musk.

I flatten a hand over my jittery stomach. “I went to see the healer. Did you arrange that?”

“Of course.”

My lips rub together. “So I’m essentially co-healer to the pack now?”

His forehead creases. “Is that a problem?”

I flap a hand. “Why?”

“What’s wrong? Was Eugene an ass to you? Tell me and I’ll sort him out.” He catches my fingers and gives them a caress that anchors me. “Is this not what you wish? If you’d like to do something else, by all means do.”

“It’s a big change. I just⁠—”

Words fail me. My eyes fall shut when he gently pulls me between his legs, then kneads my nape. He brings my hand up, nuzzling the inside of my wrist. Tingles erupt in my belly at the scrape of his stubbled jaw against my skin.

“I thought you’d like it,” he murmurs. “If not, I’m sorry. You can do anything you want.”

He thought I’d like it. My stomach swoops.

“No, I sort of do,” I admit. “It’s not something I ever considered for myself. I know plants. I’m not sure that qualifies me for this.”

“I think you’d be great at it. I saw your notes,” he admits. “You think about ways to help others in the pack.”

“I do.” I meet his penetrating gaze, breath catching at his sincere belief in me. “I’ve thought about it a lot. At first because it was a necessity for my survival to understand what was needed.”

He tenses, drawing me in until we’re chest to chest. His lips brush my wrist. My eyes fall shut and I lean against him tentatively, biting my lip when his other arm winds around me.

“You’re focused on the bigger picture as Alpha. There’s a lot you don’t see,” I continue. “Food allotments being shorted, for one. Not just mine, but those who rank lower than others.”

He rumbles, grip tightening on my wrist. “Is that why your meat store was so sparse? You were meant to get a fair share like anyone else.”

“Things aren’t always fair here.”

“Then my orders have been disobeyed. No more. We’ll make this pack a prosperous, supportive place for everyone. Pack means we’re all in this together, part of a big family that we protect,” he says. “I want to make life good for all our packmates. The packs will meet soon to honor our accords. At the summit, I’ll be submitting a proposal for new trade agreements.”

When he became Alpha, I thought he was strictly setting rules to assert his control. I’m starting to wonder if I’ve had his motives all wrong. Someone who wants to improve his pack’s life and create a sense of safety isn’t on a power trip.

The other word he used takes root in my mind and my heart. We. If he’s open to listening to me, we could weed out the hidden injustices that occur in Silver Falls Pack every day.

24AVERY

Caden’s back at the cottage again.

Shirtless this time, muscles glistening in the sunlight as he digs near my garden. Not that I’m paying attention.

He’s simply in my line of sight through the window by my workbench and he’s impossible to miss.

The gleaming tendrils of brown hair curling across his forehead invite me to sift my fingers through. The captivating shape of his mouth when the tip of his tongue sticks out of the side in concentration makes my mouth go dry. The skilled movements of his powerful body lead my mind to imagine him tossing me over his shoulder or chasing me down in the meadow.

Even without the bond influencing me with mate-vision to highlight his tempting features, his draw on my attention is irresistible.

It always has been.

No other male in the pack ever interested me. Only him.

His presence makes my wolf purr and stretch out within me. His scent hangs in the air all around the cottage, finding its way through every crack and crevice to let me know he’s there in case I forgot.

I wouldn’t. There’s no way I could ever be unaware when he’s near.

At this point, I’ve lost count of the number of days in a row he’s come here, but there are reminders of him all around.

A blanket I started taking out for him when his wolf returns every night folded over a chair.

Wildflowers he’s brought me asking if they’re anything I can use dotting the cottage windowsills and my workbench in makeshift vases from spare jars.

The extra water glass on the counter he likes to dump over his head before refilling and downing in long gulps that make me warm while staring at the bobbing of his bared throat, thoughts of licking it and wrapping myself around him tugging at me.

The feelings these visits stir in me leave me lighter and my sisters have taken notice. The hope and trust I buried deep inside me flickers to life, cautiously opening myself back up to him. I’ve been so focused on surviving day to day, ensuring my family is taken care of, that I didn’t think I’d ever find these parts of myself again, let alone because of him when he’s the one that shattered them when he broke my heart the first time.

I can’t deny that I like it when he comes up here. When I hear him laughing at Beatrix’s lively jokes on the porch. When he asks Lena about her book. When he catches my eye and something burning passes between us before he gives me a heart-stopping smile.

I do my best to focus on taking stock of my inventory before I start moving some of it down to the healer’s cabin. I told Alisha that I’d ease into being there and she promised to soften Eugene up.

Every few minutes, I find my attention drifting out the window, fingertips brushing my sternum where a soft warmth emanates.

Caden lifts a hoe overhead, treating me to a perfect view when he drives it into the ground with a grunt that’s way hotter than it should be. I drink him in, a coil of desire curling in my core the longer I watch. The display teases something primal within me.

He stops, tilts his head as if he’s listening for something, then his shoulders shake with a pleased laugh. He shoots me a smirk before returning to his task.

There’s no way he knows I was watching, is there? I snap my focus back to inventory. When I least expect it, the sensation of lips brushing all over me makes me drop my pen with a clatter. The phantom mouth begins with kisses to my nape, then progresses in a slow exploration down the column of my throat to the space between my breasts.

I grip the edge of the workbench and bite my lip to contain a whimper. Then it stops, leaving me turned on without relief. I peek at the window, finding him working like he didn’t do anything.

The urge to go outside niggles at me. I hold out for a few moments before I venture to the porch under the guise of gathering fresh clippings. He stops working.

“You like your new things?” He nods to my shears, leaning on the hoe.

“I—yes. I do, thank you for them.”

“Good.” His broad chest puffs with pride.

Something tugs at me. An invisible tether. It’s faint at first, then more insistent. My eyes widen as the astral magic jerks me until I stumble off the porch. He’s there to catch me with an inviting rumble.

“What was that?” I ask when he steadies me.

“I wanted you closer, so I gave you a tug.”

He flashes a grin at me that’s full of charming mischief and amusement. A flutter dances in my chest, my heart skipping a beat.

I trace the spot I felt the pull with a soft smile. “How do you keep doing that?”

Curious to know how it works, I search for the bond within myself. It’s much stronger now, no longer the tattered mess it was left in by his rejection. The shimmering threads of magic are weaving back together in some places to mend what was broken.

I give them an experimental stroke, startling when it makes him falter. He drops the tool with a groan, throwing out a hand to catch himself on the porch. My stomach dips at his shudder of pleasure.

“Avery,” he breathes.

The corners of my mouth lift and I do it again, slower, trying to tease it to give him a taste of what it’s like when he does it to me.

“Is that it?”

“Yeah.” A huff of laughter slips out with a delicious tinge of roughness to it. “Fuck, that feels so⁠—”

He grabs me with a sexy growl. I gasp, peering into his hooded eyes. They’re dark with arousal, his hardness pressing into me. Spiced cedar wrapped with sweet sunshine and rain-soaked earth drowns me. It’s the alluring blend of us. Our scents together. I wet my lips, lashes fluttering at how heady it is.

“If you keep doing that, I’m not going to be able to control myself around you,” he rasps.

My gaze hones in on his mouth. “You started it.”

He buries a grin in my hair. “I did.”

Being in his arms brings me so much comfort. I could stay like this all day, pressed against his chiseled body. I’d like to sprawl in a breezy meadow and rest my head on his firm chest to nap after a run together. Feel his large palms petting me all over. Straddle him and sink down his cock until he fills my aching pussy over and over.

Air gusts from my lungs and I shiver. My own control is on the brink of snapping. If I don’t move, I might present for him right here in the open. His grip tightens and he inhales with a faint gravelly hum.

It’s far more difficult than it should be to pull back, but he releases me without complaint. We untangle and he turns away to adjust himself while I go to my garden to cool the heat blooming in my face.

I spend a few minutes cutting sprigs of plants at random until I feel less like getting on all fours, sticking my ass in the air, and begging for him to knot me.

Caden gives me space, going back to digging. I appreciate how patient and considerate he’s been.

I want this. I do, but the intense bouts of need that throw taking anything slow out the window make me hesitate. I’m questioning if I can trust that my feelings are truly my own because of it. Or if he genuinely wants me.

It shouldn’t matter this much to me. A fated mate is a shifter’s perfect match. My wolf doesn’t see the problem either. The complicated history between us doesn’t make sense to her. He’s our mate and she wants him, end of story.

Deep down I think part of me is still afraid to fully open my heart again so quickly after it’s been fractured too many times.

I’m not in heat yet and he doesn’t seem in danger of falling into a rut, but I’m worried if I resist for too long the bond will push us together in any way it can to appease the Fates. Hopefully we still have time before it comes to that. I wouldn’t want to be lost to the insatiable lust of a mating frenzy our first time.

Once I’ve calmed down, I lean against the edge of the porch to watch him work. “What are you doing out here?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m expanding your garden for you.”

I laugh, gesturing with the clippings. “The winter months are almost here. I already planted what little will grow.”

He frowns, surveying the trenches he’s dug. “What do you do if you need something out of season?”

“I dry it and store as much of it as I can.”

He strokes his chin with a hum, then leans on the hoe. “Then you’ll have a greenhouse so you never have to rely on seasons to grow whatever you want.”

My eyes widen and I fight a delighted smile. I’ve thought about building a greenhouse. The cottage sits over an innate pocket of magic in the earth that connects to a ley line. With a greenhouse, I could really capitalize on my output, maybe try to extract more complex, higher quality oils because I’d have enough plants to work with. I wouldn’t have to make the blessing circle Jade showed me around the edge of the garden to keep the dirt healthy and workable during the cold months.

“Aren’t there more important things the alpha should be doing rather than building me greenhouses and restoring my cottage? You have a pack to run.”

He pins me with his gaze. My stomach dips at the sincerity and affection he doesn’t hide as he closes the distance between us and takes my chin. My worries fade whenever he looks at me like that.

“There’s nothing more important than this.”

Good mate, my wolf interjects. She’s all about the attention and devotion he’s showing us with.

I lick my lips, breath hitching when his eyes hood and his thumb traces the curve of my mouth. I inch closer, heart beating faster.

“Let me take care of you,” he murmurs.

“I’ve gotten good at taking care of myself,” I whisper.

He searches my eyes with remorseful anguish. “I know. You’re strong. But let me anyway. You don’t have to rely on yourself anymore. You have me.”

A lump forms in my throat. I nod shakily, closing my eyes when he rumbles and kisses my forehead. He cups my face, thumb caressing my cheek. His lips skate down, then hover. Tingles erupt in my belly.

He releases a strained sound and brushes his mouth over mine. My heart soars and a sense of rightness echoes within me unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. He is my mate and he’s kissing me.

Before I’m ready, the chaste kiss ends. My body sways towards him and the briefest flash of disappointment zips through me. I was hoping for a different kiss. One that I feel to the depths of my being.

He studies me, rubbing at his chest. “I’ll be back soon. I’m going to get what I need to build your greenhouse.”

I watch him until his truck disappears, then step onto the porch and lean against the new beams he added to extend the repaired roof.

This place was once my punishment. Then it became my pride when I made it my own. New possibilities spring to mind when I survey the sloping mountainside and dream about what the future might hold. In all of them, he’s there at my side.