Текст книги "Every Frat Boy Wants It"

Автор книги: Todd Gregory

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"What do you think tonight is all about?" Eric whispered. "We're not going to be initiated until tomorrow night."

I shrugged. "Final test, maybe?"

Marc walked out of the house and across the parking lot toward us, probably for the last time. "Good evening, guys." He gave us his broadest smile. "I am sure you are all wondering what is in store for you tonight." He took a deep breath. "Tonight, you are to meet with the National Examiner for Beta Kappa fraternity. He has the final say as to whether you are Beta Kappa material or not. So it's very important that you treat him with respect, answer his questions, and remember-this is the final test for you all. Now, single file follow me into the house one last time."

So, carrying our bags, we followed Marc into the house and into the Great Room one last time. He lined us up against the wall again, and the entire Brotherhood was gathered there, solemn looks on their faces. The room was dead silent.

"So, pledges, do you know what tonight is?" Marc asked in a calm and reasonable voice.

No one answered.

"Not one of you knows?"

We glanced at each other puzzled.

"It's fucking Hell Night!" he screamed. "Get into your pledge uniforms RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!"

And the Brotherhood started screaming at us, came right up into our faces. Bewildered, I took off my tie as two brothers screamed into each ear. Blair winked at me, and said, "Put your clothes into the bag," he told me, and as I got each garment off I just shoved it into the bag. I was shaking, I couldn't stand having people yelling at me. I fumbled out of my clothes and put on the filthy stinking clothes I'd worn all week. And then, just as suddenly as it started, the yelling stopped.

"Big brothers," Marc intoned solemnly, "remove a sock from the bag."

They all did.

"Tie it around their left hand."

Blair stepped forward and knotted the sock tightly around my left hand.

"Pledges, the sock is now your pledge pin. You cannot let anyone take it away from you. If someone gets your sock, you are finished at Beta Kappa. Do you understand me?"

"SIR! YES SIR!" we shouted back in unison.

"Big brothers, blindfold them." Blair tied a blindfold over my eyes. "Pledges, turn to your left and put your right hand on your pledge brother's right shoulder." I put my hand up on Ted's shoulder, and felt Chris's hand on me. "DO NOT LET GO OF YOUR BROTHER! No matter what, you must not let go of your pledge brother. Do you understand me?"

"SIR! YES SIR!"

"Forward march!"

We were led outside. I could see nothing, but knew we were outside because I could smell the grass and feel the wind. As we stood there, someone commanded that we sing the fraternity song, so we started singing in low voices. I don't know how long we stood there, but after we finished singing, brothers would move up and down the line. They would try to pull my hand off Ted's shoulder, or Chris's off mine. Others tried to take away my sock, so I finally crossed my arm and tucked it into my right armpit. "All right, pledges," I recognized Marc's voice, "you are about to be led on a journey. You must hold on to your pledge brother. When you reach the end of the journey, I will tell you to let go. Until then, YOU CANNOT LET GO! Do you understand me?"

"SIR! YES SIR!"

And we started moving. They were leading us in a serpentine pattern through the parking lot, and then we went back inside. Once we were inside, it sounded like we had entered the bowels of hell. That horrible tuneless noise made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. They led us through the house, up a staircase, down a staircase and around and around. Finally, we were led into what had to be the Great Room, and that noise was even louder. Marc whispered into my ear, "Let go," and I dropped my hand. Someone else grabbed my hand, led me somewhere, and then spun me around three times. "Sit down," an unidentifiable voice whispered, and I did.

I don't know how long I sat there on the cold floor. Every so often, someone would grab my sock and try to get it away from me, but I held on doggedly. No one was getting the damned thing away from me.

Finally, someone whispered into my ear, "Stand up." I did, and they took the hand without the sock, and started leading me somewhere. I heard three knocks on a door, and a voice called, "Enter." I heard the door swing open, and the person who was leading me said, "I have another candidate for membership in the Brotherhood here."

"Can you recite the Greek alphabet?" I thought it was Jerry Pollard's voice asking.

"Alpha, beta, gamma, delta, epsilon-"

"Too slow! Get this maggot out of my sight!"

Stunned, I was led out of the room down the hall. Again, the three knocks, again the pronouncement "I have another candidate for membership in the Brotherhood here." "Do you know the year Beta Kappa was founded?"

I relaxed. I knew this. "Beta Kappa was founded at the Univer-"

"I don't need a fucking history lesson! Get him out of here!"

I was led back into the Great Room and told to sit. Again, I have no idea how long I sat there. It seemed like hours. Then, someone tapped me on the shoulder and told me to stand up. I was led to another door, where again there were the three knocks, the pronouncement, and I was led into a room thick with cigar smoke. I was seated in a chair. I could tell there was more than one other person in the room, but I couldn't tell who they were, or how many there were. I sat there in silence.

"So, you're Jeff Morgan. The brothers have told me a lot about you." A deep, gruff voice said.

"Sir, yes sir!"

"Do you know who I am, maggot?"

"You're the National Examiner, sir!"

"You're goddamned right I am." I heard the sound of a glass filling with liquid, and he drank something. I thought I smelled Scotch when he leaned close to me. "I suppose you think you're hot shit, don't you, boy?"

"Sir, no sir!"

"Always knew your lessons, did what was expected, even took a beating for one of your pledge brothers." He went on in a reasonable voice. "Very, very commendable."

"Sir, thank you, sir." I let out a breath. This wasn't going to be so bad.

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK PLEDGE! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THE FUCKING BROTHERHOOD THINKS! I AM THE ONLY PERSON WHO DECIDES WHO HAS WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A BROTHER OF BETA KAPPA!" he screamed at me, spittle flying into my face.

Stunned, I opened my mouth and nothing came out.

"Do you like girls?" he asked, again in the reasonable voice.

"Um, yes."

"That didn't sound convincing," he sneered. "You like boys, don't you?" I heard some smothered laughs from around the room.

I didn't answer.

"Answer me, maggot!"

I was shaking by this point. Fuck the Brotherhood, fuck the brothers, fuck Blair, fuck all of them. "Fuck you."

The room fell silent.

"Get him out of my sight," The National Examiner said, and someone grabbed my hand and led me back into the Great Room.

I sat there, trembling. I felt like crying. Why didn't you just say no? You told the National Examiner to fuck off, Like he's going to let you in now. All this energy, all this time, this whole week-you just threw it all away and for what?

I sat there in my misery forever before someone came and tapped me on the shoulder again. I was led, again the three knocks, and then a door opened. I was led through the doorway, and the door shut behind me.

Someone pulled my blindfold up, and I blinked as I saw Blair. His face looked completely miserable. The entire Brotherhood was inside the Chapter Room, it seemed, and they all looked solemn. I took it all in a second, and then Blair said, his voice shaking, "Jeff, I'm so sorry. The National Examiner said no."

My heart sank to my feet.

"But you know, Jeff, we've all been talking and we all like you and think he's full of shit," Marc Kearney said. "We really want you to be a Beta Kappa, and on behalf of all the brothers, I want to invite you back to pledge again next semester."

I stared at him. I looked around at all the sad, solemn faces. I couldn't believe this was happening. And they thought I would be willing to go through this all again? Oh, hell, no. All I wanted to do was get out of the house as fast as I could run. I looked down and took a deep breath. Tell them yes, and then get out of here. It's not binding, it'll make them feel okay, but there's no way I am going through this again. Staring at the rug, I said finally, "Okay."

"Um, Jeff?" Blair said.

I looked into his sad face, and suddenly it split into a joyful smile. "Congratulations, you just passed the final test. Welcome to Beta Kappa!"

My jaw dropped as everyone in the room started cheering. Blair threw his arms around me and hugged me, and my entire body sagged from the shock. Brothers were clapping me on the back, shaking my hand, and then Marc whispered, "You need to go in the back room and keep quiet-we have to bring the rest of your pledge class in." I made my way to the back of the room, and right at the door to the storage room stood a big man in a suit with a mustache and sideburns. He was grinning broadly as he handed me a bottle of champagne. "Congratulations, Jeff." I recognized his voice as the National Examiner.

"You asshole," I said with a huge smile.

"Fuck you, too." He winked, and opened the door. I slid through and my pledge brothers were hugging me. "They are such fucks, huh?" Chris whispered to me, a big grin on his face.

"Uh-huh." I nodded.

"I know, huh?" Eric whispered. "I said I'd come back, but I was thinking, no fucking way!"

"Oh my God, I was thinking the same thing!"

A loud cheer went up from the room outside, and a few seconds later Ted Norris was let into the room. I made a point of hugging him. "We did it, Ted!"

He was stiff, and didn't hug me back.

I let go and stepped away from him. I looked into his face, and saw nothing but malice in his eyes.

Nothing can change him, I thought sadly. Even tonight, when we've all finally made it, he can't let go.

There was another cheer, and the door opened. "Come on, boys, let's celebrate!" The so-called National Examiner shouted into the storage room, and we all crowded out into the chapter room, and then out into the Great Room. There was the sound of champagne corks popping, and I drank out of my bottle.

"I'm so proud of you," Blair smiled at me, and I passed him the bottle. He took a big foamy sip and then Marc was ushering us all out into the cul-de-sac. "New brothers, step forward!"

We all stepped to the front of the circle. "Get those fucking shirts off!"

The brothers cheered as we all stripped off the stinky T-shirts and threw them into a pile. Marc doused them with lighter fluid, and lit a match. Suddenly, everyone linked arms and started singing the house song.

"It is to thee dear old Beta K, we sing our song of praise,

It is to thee, our fraternity, that we our voices raise!"

In the sorority parking lots, horns started honking and headlights went on. We all waved in their general direc– tiom.

I looked around at my brothers-all of them now my brothers, and felt proud.

I'd made it. We'd all made it.

I took another drink of champagne, and knew I was going to get very wasted.

"I love you," Blair whispered into my ear.

"I'm going to show just how much later, big bro." I smiled back at him. "Prepare to get fucked like you've never been fucked."

"Oh, I know." He laughed. "I've never been fucked by a brother. And I can't wait." He brushed up against my shoulder. "I'm sure it's going to be well worth the wait."

PART THREE

X/INTER

Chapter 10

r "he rest of the fall semester went by in a blur. Within two weeks of Initiation, finals began. My grades were pretty much well below the average my parents expected of me after being a straight-A student all through public school. Getting all Cs my first semester of college was, I feared, going to finally make them cross over the line and make me get a job. They'd been pretty patient and understanding about the whole pledging thing, but having substandard grades was unacceptable in my family. Mom and Dad had always taken great pride in my straight As. I'd never let them down before, and now with them paying for my education, I was about to give them the biggest letdown of my life so far.

And worse yet, they might not let me move into the house.

Moving in was now my biggest priority. I wanted to live in the house, to stay there every day, to completely immerse myself in Beta Kappa. I loved the Brotherhood, and was very proud that I'd made it through, been accepted. That meant more to me than getting good grades in a major I didn't care anything about.

After Initiation, I started going over the conversation I was going to have to have with my father about moving in. I came up with every conceivable argument against it that my father could have, and sometimes my answers to those objections sounded phony even to me. But then again, when I'd decided to pledge, and discussed it with them, I'd given them the information packet about Beta Kappa, its requirements, and costs. I knew they'd read it and talked it over. So, they had to know that the Brotherhood required every initiated brother to live in the house a minimum of two semesters.

I rehearsed and thought hard about my answers. The only objection I couldn't come up with an answer for was "You're too young to move out of the house."

And if I knew my mother at all, she was going to say that. The key was to get Dad on my side and present a united front to her.

Finally, the weekend after the Initiation ceremony, I steeled my nerve and sat down with my father to have the talk.

My parents have always been fairly cool with me; I've always been pretty free to do as I chose as long as what few rules they actually set up for me were obeyed. When I was in high school, I never broke the curfew they'd set-not that there was ever any reason to-and I studied and made good grades. They'd been incredibly cool about me joining Beta Kappa-and had never said a word about all the time I'd spent over there during the semester. They'd always been supportive of me. They'd never missed a football or baseball game of mine throughout high school-and at some baseball games, they were the only people in the stands. The other kids envied me my parents, who laughed and joked with them and talked to them like adults. Kevin Hansen had always loved sitting down with my parents after a football game and talking about it. Dad remembered every play, every hit and every tackle. He'd been a threesport letterman in high school himself-Mom had been head cheerleader-and he was proud that I was a jock too. I remember one time my senior year when I sacked the Olpe High quarterback I could hear my dad screaming above all the other cheers, "Way to go son! That's my son!" And I'd been so happy my eyes filled with tears and I looked for his face in the bleachers and pumped my fist at him. Mom told me later that when I did that a tear ran down his face. They were the best parents I could have hoped for.

Granted, they were devout Church of Christ attendeestwice on Sundays and every Wednesday night. But after I graduated from high school, my attendance was no longer mandatory. I wasn't sure how they'd feel about me being gay though. The Church of Christ was pretty clear on that. It was kind of mercenary of me, but I figured I'd wait until I had my college degree before I had that conversation with them.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. I was afraid they would turn their backs on me, disappointed.

And that would break my heart.

"Hey, Dad," I said, sitting on the couch. He was watching the Colts and the Saints play on television. He always rooted for the Saints, since they were perennial underdogs. Dad was like that-but interestingly enough, if one of those underdogs became a winner, he'd stick with them through that first season. But if they kept winning after that, he'd lose interest and start rooting for another under dog. It was one of those weird little things about him I thought was cool.

"Hello, stranger." He gave me a smile. My dad was only thirty-nine, and his hair was still black, with just a hint of gray starting at the temples. Everyone always said that I looked just like him, even though I got my coloring from my mother. "We haven't seen much of you around here in a while. But we figured that was going to happen when you started college," he turned the sound down with a flick of the remote. "You know, son, I don't think I've told you how proud we both are of you."

"Proud? About what?"

"It wasn't easy for you to move away from your friends and all your plans and start your life over again." He smiled at me. "And you've never complained once."

"Well, it was hard," I admitted. "And I wasn't really happy about it, but you know, it worked out for the best. I'm really happy here."

"Life has a funny way of working out sometimes, doesn't it?" he said, popping some peanuts in his mouth. "We've missed having you around, though."

"I know," I said, steeling my nerve. "Between my duties at the fraternity and studying, I've been pretty busy." I felt myself start to color as I lied about studying, and thought, I really need to buckle down.

He gave me a look. "Well, son, your mother and I were talking the other night, and we know you're going to want to move into the frat house."

I bit my lip. I could hardly say to my father what had been drilled into my head all semester: Don't call it a frat.' You wouldn't call your country a `cunt', would you?

"Obviously, we would much rather you stay living here with us. You're our only child, but you're not a little boy anymore and you have your own life to live. And we can understand that. You can't live here with us forever, much as we would like you to," he went on. "And if we'd stayed in Kansas, you would have moved into one of the dorms at Kansas State, right? So you'd already be gone. We talked it over and decided that we can afford to pay your rent there at the house, according to that cost sheet you gave us when you first joined. But we are placing some conditions on that. First of all, you have to maintain a B average the entire time you are living there. If you ever drop below that, you are moving back in here-no questions, no arguments. Understood?" I nodded. "Second, for this next semester we'll help you out with spending money, but next summer you have to get a job and save for the upcoming school year. You need to start learning some financial responsibility. If you're old enough to not live under our roof, you're old enough to learn the value of hard work and a dollar. Is that understood?"

"Yes." I wanted to jump up and dance around the room. Instead, I kept a serious expression on my face. "Um, Dad, about this semester-"

"C average is all we're expecting from you, Jeff." My relief must have shown in my face because he laughed. "Transitioning from high school to college is hard, and you made an even bigger transition. We understand that, and we know the frat kept you hopping. But you're too smart to get Cs, and without the pledging distractions, we expect you to really apply yourself."

"Thanks, Dad," I replied. I was flying high. It was going so much better than I could have hoped. I took a deep breath and went on, "Um, do you think it would be possible for me to move into the house right after finals?"

"Why so soon?" He looked a little stricken. "What's the rush?"

I explained that Beta Kappa had a rule about room seniority. Since the house usually emptied out for summer and Christmas vacations, any brother willing to stay in the house during those times was entitled to have his own room when school reconvened. It was how Blair managed to get his own room, by staying through the summer session. He'd had to share as a junior active the semester before, and it had nearly driven him insane. "No offense, Jeff, you know I love you but if we share a room we'll be at each other's throats within days. These rooms are too small-at least for me to share one. After you live in for a year we'll get an apartment together. But if you move in over Christmas, you'll earn more seniority than guys who stay in the summer." This was because everyone went home over Christmas-there were no Christmas classes, like there were in the summer-and it was really convenient for me because my parents actually lived in Polk.

"And I think it will be easier for me to get good grades if I don't have a roommate. You know, that way I can have quiet time to study," I concluded. The real reason I wanted my own room was because no roommate meant no extra pair of eyes watching me and Blair in private.

If Blair couldn't share a room with me, I didn't want to live with anyone else. And how horrible would it be to have the Brotherhood stick me with someone like Ted Norris?

I couldn't even think about that.

"Well, son, that makes a lot of sense." My dad smiled at me and shook his head. "Sounds like you've got it all figured out. When did you grow up and get so smart?"

I just smiled. I impulsively gave him a big hug. "I love you, Dad."

So the next few weeks were spent in a flurry of studying and writing papers. Blair was just as crazed as I was-his average had slipped over the semester as well, so we were both trying to catch up. I talked to my instructors, got advice, and studied everything over and over again until it seemed like at night I dreamed about my classes.

Talk about nightmares!

But it paid off. All of my papers got As-which wasn't a big surprise; I've always been good at writing papers-and every single final I took I breezed through. There was not a single question on any test that I didn't know the answer to-at least, thought I knew the answer to, which was a very good feeling and very different from my experiences earlier in the semester.

I was actually able to move into my room on the second to last day of finals. Mine were over on Wednesday, and I was moving into Danny Fisher's room. Danny had taken his finals early because his family was spending Christmas in Paris, and he was moving into an apartment when he returned. My parents got me one of those small refrigerators, a new single bed, and a microwave as my Christmas presents-Danny had left his desk behind for me to use. It didn't really take that long to set up my room-although my mom cried when I left the house with the last load I was taking, which in turn made me cry. "It's not like I'm going that far away," I said, wiping my eyes. "I'm just about ten minutes away."

"But you won't be under my roof anymore," she sobbed. "You'd better come home to visit every week!"

When I pulled away from my parents' house, it really hit me. I'm moving out, I'm going to live on my own.

It was a small step toward adulthood and away from being a child.

By the time I got to the house, the parking lot was pretty much emptied out. The brothers weren't sticking around for long once they were finished-they were loading up their cars and heading home. I hugged Marc Kearney goodbye as he put the last load of what he was taking home with him in the back of his battered old white pick-up. "Have a great Christmas, Marc," I said when we broke apart.

"Yeah, you too." He gave me his big smile. "You're going to love living in the house, bro. It's a whole different world for you now"

"Yeah." I waved as he started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot. Over at Alpha Xi Delta, I could see the same kind of departure scenes going on. I grabbed a box and headed inside. I was kind of bummed that my room was upstairs-I'd wanted to be as close to Blair as possible, but that just hadn't worked out. I lugged the box up the back staircase and stood for a moment in front of the door to room seventeen. I put the key in, unlocked the door, and dragged the box in. My bed was covered with boxes and bags of clothes. I stood there for a moment, then walked over to the window and opened the curtains and looked out over the backyard. This was going to be my home for the next year. I planned on staying in the house over the summer, and then after next fall semester ended, Blair and I would get our own apartment somewhere. We hadn't talked about where it would be, but I knew it wouldn't be in the Valencia. Blair hated that place.

There was a wrapped box sitting on top of my desk next to my laptop. I walked over and sat down. I picked it up and opened the card. In big red letters on a white background it read Congratulations! Smiling to myself, I opened the card and started reading.

Jeff,

Welcome to Beta Kappa! Knowing you has been one of the greatest things to ever happen to me in my life. We're going to have so many good times in the future-but for now, here's a moving in gift for you.

Love,

Blair

I tore open the box and started laughing.

My housewarming gift was a glass bong, screens, and a big bag of pot.

So, of course, I had to try it all out before I started unpacking.

It was very good pot. It took me much longer to unpack than it probably should have.

When Blair was finished studying for his final the next day, he came up to my room and we got stoned-and broke in my bed.

And if I do say so myself, it was the best sex we'd had to date.

I'm not sure why that was-maybe it was because we'd had so little time to be together over the past few weeks. Maybe it was because we both knew we'd be apart for at least three weeks. Whatever the reason, Blair and I couldn't get enough of each other. When we finally collapsed, spent and exhausted, we were both drenched in sweat and within a few moments, we were both sound asleep, our bodies entwined.

By Saturday morning, Blair and I were the only brothers left in the house, which was kind of fun. Originally, I wasn't going to be the only brother living in the house over Christmas break, but the other two-Jerry Pollard and Randy Pritchard, changed their minds and went home as well. Saturday morning, we made sure every door in the house was locked, the curtains in the Great Room were closed, and I fucked him there on the carpet. We did it again in the communal shower on the second floor. "It's kind of fun doing it in places we never in a million years would dare to, huh?" Blair said with a grin after he shot a big load that washed down the shower drain.

"You know it," I said, pulling his body to me and kissing him deep and hard.

Around one, though, it was time for him to get going as well. "I hate leaving you here by yourself," he said as he dressed. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I hate you leaving me here by myself." I was sitting on his bed, naked. "Call me every day?"

"You know it." He came over and kissed me on the lips. "And besides, you won't be here by yourself all that long." It was true. The spring semester officially started on January 15th, but every year everyone came back for New Year's, and the house threw a massive party to celebrate not only the coming of the new year, but the end of the previous semester. "Are you sure you don't want to come with me? We'd have so much fun."

"My parents would never in a million years let me go away for Christmas. Besides, I'm in charge of the house while everyone is gone." It wasn't really much responsibil ity, frankly. I just had to make sure the place didn't burn down or get broken into.

"Well, why don't you come down right after Christmas for a few days?" He asked. "We could go to my dad's place out in Palm Springs. You'll love Palm Springs. It's wonderful there."

"Okay, let me think about it." I started putting on my clothes so I could walk him out to the car. "But I'd have to be back in time for the New Year's party."

"I told you I wouldn't miss that party for the world." Blair gave me a mock glare. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you weren't going to miss me at all."

"Now you're just being silly." I smiled. Things between us had changed a bit since the blowup over Marc Kearney. In a way, my intense need for him had lessened. I didn't love him any less, but I'd realized in that two day period when I thought I had lost him forever that I needed to rein it in a bit. It wasn't that I loved him less, nor was it that I desired him any less. But the truth was, as I realized during the weeks that followed that speed bump in our relationship, that I had no real control over what happened with the two of us. I loved him, but had slept with Marc without even a second thought other than shooting a load inside his ass. If I could do that, there was no reason why Blair couldn't as well-and we'd even discussed the possibilities of it happening during our separation. And while neither one of us liked the idea, we had come to the conclusion that if it happened, it happened-and it didn't mean we cared for each other any less. "You know I'm going to miss you."

He gave me a big hug and kiss, and I walked him out to the car. It was cold and gray outside, and a damp wind was blowing that seemed to go right through my skin into my bones. I watched him drive off, waving until his car made the turn off the cul-de-sac and was out of sight. I walked back into the empty house. It was weird how silent it was. Even during the mandatory weeknight quiet hours (which started at seven P.lvt.) there was always some noise in the house. But now the whole place was silent as a tomb, other than the sound of the wind rushing around the house. The house was also cold and drafty. I shivered a bit as I went back into my room and turned on the space heater. What I really wanted to do with all the solitude was write.

The days passed, and I became more and more used to being alone in the house. Every so often I would go over to my parents' for dinner, but most of the time I didn't like to leave the house. I was taking a creative writing course the next semester which required me to write four short stories, and Jerry Pollard had offered to read and critique the stories for me-so I wanted to get drafts of them finished over the Christmas break.

And being alone in the house allowed me to do other things as well. Blair had left some porn DVD's for me to "entertain" myself with, and rather than watching them in the privacy of his room, I chose to watch them in the Great Room, naked, and pleasure myself in there. I sometimes would beat off in the communal showers quite happily.