Текст книги "Every Frat Boy Wants It"

Автор книги: Todd Gregory

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"It's not that big . . ." he sighed. "Look, we'll talk about this sometime when you're not so stoned, okay?"

I got out of the car and slammed the door. He sat there a moment, looking at me, before he finally shrugged and drove off. Almost immediately, I was sorry. I got out my cell phone and almost called-but then decided it wasn't a good idea. And besides, was it so wrong to be disappointed that my so-called best friend wouldn't be in town for my birthday? Was he really so selfish that he couldn't understand why that would bother me?

He doesn't really like you, that voice kept telling me as I undressed, otherwise he wouldn't be gone for your birthday. And he never once mentioned that he was going home for a few weeks after summer session ended. Never once, and he had plenty of opportunities. You're not really his friend. You're just someone to hang out with until everyone comes back this fall.

I didn't sleep well that night. I kept alternating between hurt and anger, would start to drift off to sleep after a while-and then my mind would start up again.

Just come by the house and hang out, everyone likes you.

Doesn't he understand the only reason I even go over there is for him 2

I finally decided, Fuck him, I'll come home after class.

And then I was finally able to go to sleep.

But once class was over and I was in my car, I found myself driving over to the house. I'll justsee if hes there and if he's not, I won't stay.

The Lexus wasn't in the parking lot, but I drove in anyway.

I parked the car and got out. I stood there for a minute, debating, and then decided to just go ahead and go inside and wait.

I waved up at Jerry in the window and he waved back down to me with a smile. I can always get high with Jerry, I thought as I went into the downstairs hall.

"Hey man, Blair's not here," Rory Armagh called as I walked past his room.

I stopped and walked back to his door. "Blair's not the only reason I come by the house, ya know," I said with a big smile. "I'm going to pledge."

"That's cool, man. Beta Kappa's a great house-best one on campus, don't let anyone tell you different." Rory was lying on his bed with his big hands behind his head. He was only wearing a pair of white BVD's, which did nothing to disguise the huge bulge. I tried to keep my eyes on his face. "You wanna get high, bro?" he asked. "I got some killer stuff from my guy last night."

I shrugged. "Sure." Why the hell not? Be nice to have a buzz when Blair gets here.

"Shut the door then."

I stepped inside and shut the door behind me, reaching for a towel to place under it. It was silly, but smoking pot inside the house was a $250 fine. Everyone assured me it was never enforced, but it was on the books because the university required it. "We have to have a strict no-drug policy," Jerry had said, rolling his eyes when I asked him about it. "Just like we're not allowed to let underage people drink."

The drug rules were disregarded completely by every house on fraternity row. Everyone referred to Sigma Chi, just across the mall for example, as Sigma High. Legend held that Sigma Alpha Epsilon parties were always full of high school-age girls, getting drunk and getting laid.

No, all you had to do, everyone assured me, was try to make sure the smell wasn't too obvious in the hallway and no one cared. Everyone smoked, so unless it was totally obvious, or a parent was in the house, no one turned anyone else in. All you needed to do was put a towel across the foot of the door to block the smoke, and if you really wanted to cover it up, light incense.

After I had finished putting the towel in its place, I straightened back up. Rory hadn't bothered to put on shorts or anything, and was holding what had to be the biggest bong I had ever seen. It stood on the floor at least three feet high between his legs, and had at least three chambers and scores of little plastic tubes running between them. He grinned at me. "You've never smoked out of the monster, have you?"

"No," I replied, my eyes wide.

"You are about to officially become initiated into the stoner fraternity. This ride is not for small-fry." He was loading pot into five bowls that sat in the front of the huge contraption. All five of the bowls were carved into a single piece of round metal. He winked at me. "Watch carefully, and learn ... and don't feel bad if you can't handle it at first. Even I had trouble the first time."

I sat down beside him on the ratty love seat as he flicked a lighter to flame and bent his head down over the mouth. He started inhaling as he held the lighter to one bowl, and the lowest chamber filled with smoke. He then deftly lifted the round piece of metal, and turned it so another bowl went into the tubing, and burned it, still inhaling. Smoke snaked from the first chamber through two pipes into another chamber. He then switched in another bowl, still inhaling, as the smoke moved from the second chamber into a third-and finally, as he switched the fourth bowl in, into the final chamber. He turned his head, exhaled, and then put his mouth back on top of the bong. He inhaled for longer than I thought humanly possible and raised his head, placing one hand over the opening. He smiled at me, opened his mouth, and blew out a gigantic cumulus cloud. "Gooooood stuff." He passed the contraption over to me, his hand still over the top. "When I take my hand off, just put your mouth down and inhale as deep and as long as you can. You got it?"

I nodded and did as ordered. As I inhaled, I could feel the smoke moving down my throat into my lungs. It was pungent, more pungent than what Blair usually had-or the other brothers, for that matter-and it tasted green somehow. I sat back and stared at the ceiling for a few seconds before my lungs rebelled and the smoke poured out of me in a huge cloud. I kept coughing until Rory swatted me on the back and handed me a bottle of water.

"Dude, that was a swimmer's hit." He grinned at me, nodding. "Bro, I really mean it-that was fucking impressive. And Blair said you only started smoking this summer? Cool. You had to have been a swimmer at some point."

"No, I don't know how to swim, but thanks." I grinned back at him, my eyes watering. I took another swig of water. "Damn, that's some good stuff." My head was already starting to float away.

"Yeah." He nodded. "Water polo players, man, we get the good stuff all the time. One of the guys on the team is from Humboldt, another from Chico, man. That's where the best stuff comes from, unless you can get some Thai somewhere." He kept nodding. "So, you definitely gonna pledge, man?"

"Yeah. I kind of like it here."

"You're going to fit in just fine." Rory grinned over at me. He picked up a remote and flicked it at the stereo, and Pink Floyd's The Wall started playing. "Nothing better for a buzz than some Floyd."

"Cool." Everyone liked Pink Floyd at Beta Kappasometimes it seemed like something by them was playing somewhere in the house at every moment. I'd never really listened to it before, but I was becoming fond of Pink Floyd. The song playing was "Comfortably Numb," which was becoming my favorite. It described in music exactly the way I felt when I was stoned. "Can I ask you something? Do you mind? It's kind of personal."

"You're gonna be a brother, man, so sure. Ask me anything."

"Did you really-" I hesitated. "Did you really do porn?"

Rory threw his head back and laughed. "Man, oh man, did Blair tell you about that? I am going to kick his ass." He winked at me. "Just one weekend. I spent one weekend in Sacramento making some cash and it's going to haunt me for the rest of my life." He shook his head. "You know, this guy comes up to me after a water polo match, and gives me his card. Asks me if I want to make some easy cash. I just put it away, you know, didn't think nothing of it. Then last summer I was broke and needed to make some moneyand I found the card. So I went up there for a weekend, fucked some chicks on camera, and made some money. Is that some crazy shit or what?"

"I think it's kind of cool." I shrugged.

"You wanna see?" His eyes lit up. "Nobody around here's seen it besides me."

"Seriously?"

"Sure!" He winked at me. "Love to hear what you think of my performance."

"Um, I've never really seen a porn movie before," I replied, "So I really don't have a frame of reference."

"You've got to be shitting me! Where are you from, Kansas or something? Dude, porn is awesome! What do you beat off to?"

I didn't answer that, assuming he didn't expect an answer. I mean, I seriously doubted he cared what I beat off to-and it wasn't like I was going to tell him anyway. He grabbed another remote and turned the TV on, muted the sound so as not to compete with the Pink Floyd CD, and then clicked another button. Suddenly, the heavily madeup weeping woman from As the World Turns was replaced by a large-breasted woman in a string bikini and stiletto heels sitting by a swimming pool reading People magazine. A gate in the wooden fence opened, and there was Rory, looking about twenty years younger than the woman, wearing only a pair of baggy shorts. He walked over to where she was sitting, they apparently spoke a few words to each other, and then she unzipped his shorts and started sucking his cock. My eyes about popped out of my head.

If I thought it was huge when limp, well, it was gigantic when hard.

Almost inhuman.

"They keep calling me, wanting me to do more," Rory said as he sat back down on the bed. "I guess they like my big of dick. But you know, I don't need the money, and it would be just my luck to make the Olympic team and then have this come out, you know? Porn always seems to come back to bite you in the ass."

I glanced over at Rory on the bed. His eyes were transfixed on the screen, and he was stroking himself through his underwear. He looked over at me, and smiled. "It kind of turns me on watching myself, you know? Do you think that's weird?"

I swallowed, and looked back at the television screen. "Urn, no, I don't. I mean, I guess not. I don't know if I'd get turned on watching myself."

"Sure you would! You've got a nice body, man."

"You think so?"

"Sure, man." He looked over at me. "Really nice, in shape. Good looking too. The little sisters are going to line up to suck your dick, man. That's one of the benefits of the house you know. The house whores."

"Urn, okay."

He patted the bed beside him. "Why don't you come sit over here?"

I took a deep breath and walked over to the bed. This isn't happening, I kept saying to myself over and over, this isn't happening. I looked at his crotch. The head of his cock was sticking out through the waistband of his BVD's. It was big, so big and thick and red. A single clear drop oozed out of the slit.

"You want to help a brother out and suck me off?" he whispered.

You wanted experience here's your chance.

"Um ... I don't know..."

"I won't tell anyone. It's just between us." He pulled the waistband down, and I couldn't believe my eyes. His balls were thick and heavy, and the cock-it had to be eleven, twelve inches long and a minimum of six around.

"I-I-"

"I won't come in your mouth," he whispered. "Come on, Jeff, no one will know."

I sat down on the side of the bed. My entire body was trembling. I leaned over, took a deep breath, and put my hand on it. It was so warm, and Rory moaned a little bit.

"Just suck it, man, put it in your mouth. I won't tell anyone."

I closed my eyes and put the head in my mouth.

It tasted slightly salty, sweaty with a slight tinge of chlorine.

Of course it's chlorine, dumb ass, he's a swimmer!

I started licking the head.

"Oh, man, that's nice, Jeff, yeah, keep doing that."

I started licking it, not really knowing what I was doing. Out of the corner of my eye I glanced at the porn video playing. She was sucking his cock, and if that nasty looking old whore could do it, so could I.

I started moving my mouth up and down on it, but couldn't get that far.

I looked over at the screen. How the hell was she-

And then I remembered something from a party in Kansas. Two guys were talking about shooting a beer, "You have to open your throat, man, then everything just goes pouring straight down ..

Open your throat.

I focused on an upward movement, and then as I came back down again, I opened my throat and it went down.

"Ooooooh fuck man!" Rory's hips started moving, and he gripped my hair with both hands.

I found myself getting into it. I loved the taste of his cock in my mouth, I loved the power I had over him. I was controlling this great big hunk of man. I was sucking him off like a pro, and it was the first fucking time I'd ever given a blow job. I began using my tongue, and put my hand around the base to keep it in place. I started moving faster and faster, and then he was pulling my head away, yanking me by the hair, and I was angry.

I didn't want to stop, goddamnit!

And his entire body arched and shook as he shot a huge load onto his stomach and chest, his body heaving with each shot.

And when he was finished, he closed his eyes and laid there for a moment.

I wiped at my mouth. I could still taste him.... I wanted to keep on....

"Thanks bud." He opened his eyes and smiled at me. He picked up the remote and switched the television off. "You mind? I'm going to take a nap."

"Sure. Yeah." I got up, my cheeks flaming with embarrassment. What have I done?

I shut the door behind me and walked back into the parking lot.

What have I done?

Somehow, I managed to get to my car and drive home.

And no matter how much I brushed my teeth, I could still taste his cock.

Chapter 4

-skipped class the next day.

.I didn't want to face Blair, or any of the other students. I felt like there was a gigantic sign on my forehead flashing in red neon to everyone COCKSUCKER! COCKSUCKER! COCKSUCKER! I told my mother I didn't feel good and just went to my room and shut the door. She checked in on me a few times-once to tell me Blair was on the phoneand I just said I don't want to talk to anyone, and after that she left me alone. I'd turned my cell phone off, and just lay in bed staring at the ceiling.

Now you've done it. You're a homo for sure.

There's no turning back now.

I wasn't sure how I felt about it, now that I'd actually done it. There was always that part in the back of my mind which always insisted it was just a phase; as long as I never acted on it I'd be okay. All I needed to do was fuck a girl and I'd snap out of it. But that didn't keep me from longing for boys-Kevin, then Blair-and now I'd actually done it-something-with another guy, it was with a guy I barely knew, someone I certainly wasn't in love with, so what did that make me?

Not only a queer, but a slut.

I couldn't face anyone. All I wanted to do was stay in my room for the rest of my life and hide from the rest of the world. I woke up in the middle of the night and left a message on Blair's cell phone, telling him I wasn't coming to class (ever again) so he wouldn't show up in the morning. When my mom came to wake me up, I told her I still didn't feel so hot and I wasn't going. She shut the door and went away.

At noon, my door opened again.

"I'm not hungry," I said without looking.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Blair walked in and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Nothing. Go away."

"Jesus fucking Christ on the cross, Jeff, I'm the drama major, remember? You're the writer." He lit a cigarette. My mother didn't allow anyone else to smoke in the house. "Now, tell me what the hell is going on. You're supposed to meet me at the house yesterday; I get there and there was no sign of you. You don't answer your phone. Your mother tells me you're not well. This morning I get this pathetic voicemail that you're not coming to class. Tell me what's wrong."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"So you sucked Rory Armagh's cock? It's not the end of the world."

I sat up in bed. "Did he tell you that?"

Blair laughed. "He didn't have to." He put an arm around me. "And he isn't going to tell anyone else, either, if that's what you're so afraid of. The last thing in the world Rory Armagh is going to do is let anyone know another guy sucked him off. You can put that in the bank and collect interest on it, okay?"

"How-how did you know?"

"You think I haven't sucked Rory off?" He started laughing. "Don't you remember what I told you that first day at the house? Straight boys don't care who gets them off when they're fucked up, remember? And alcohol, or pot, or coke, or whatever, is a perfect excuse for them." He rolled his eyes. "`Oh, man I was so fucked up last night, I think I let some guy suck my dick' or `Oh man was I drunk last night, I think I fucked some guy up the ass'. Whatever. The truth is Rory would let a dog suck his dick if he was horny. And by dog, I don't mean an ugly girl. I mean a dog. A cocker spaniel. A Great Dane. Get the picture?"

"I-I guess."

"Look." He dropped the cigarette into an empty Coke can on my nightstand, and grabbed me by the shoulders. "You're my friend, okay? I don't know if you're gay, straight, whatever you are-that doesn't matter. What matters to me is you're cool, and a nice guy, and a lot of fun to hang out with, okay? I want you to join Beta Kappa because I think you'll have a good time there. The guys are pretty cool for the most part, and we have the best parties. Just because you sucked Rory Armagh's dick when you were wasted one night doesn't mean anything, you got that? All it means was you were curious about it ... and sexual curiosity is not a bad thing or a big deal."

"I don't like girls, Blair," I said in a small voice. I couldn't look at him as I said it; I'd never said it out loud before.

He lit another cigarette. "Yeah? So what?"

"I think I might be gay." I said the words, and let out a big sigh of relief. I'd been fighting it for so long, denying it for as long as I could remember. So what if it meant I couldn't join Beta Kappa? So what if it meant losing Blair as a friend?

But he kissed you, he sat on top of you and rubbed on you ...

"Like I said, Jeff, so fucking what?" He laughed again. "I grew up around the film industry, for God's sake. You have any idea how many gays and lesbians I know? Hell, my mom is bisexual-she has a girlfriend right now over in London! You need to get past this idea that it's a bad thing to be gay, honey. It's not." He took my hand. "Look at me." I met his eyes. "I am sure growing up in Kansas-and your parents are nice enough people, but they don't seem to be the most open-minded people in the world, no offensewas pretty hard on you. I can't even imagine it. But being gay is not a sin or wrong or whatever you think it is, my friend. It's just who you are. Do you really, deep down, think you're a bad person?"

"No," I said slowly. "No, I don't."

"Because you aren't, you big dope. You're still Jeff. That hasn't changed at all. You understand? You are still Jeff to me, and you're still Jeff to everyone-and anyone who wants to not like you or think there's something wrong with you-well, that's their problem, not yours. Am I making sense here?" He puffed on the cigarette. "Am I?"

"Some." I did feel relieved that Blair didn't turn on mebut then again, that night in his room, he had been the one to initiate things between us, even though he'd also been the one to stop. "Blair, are you gay?"

He shook his head. "You are something else, you know that, Kansas boy?" He leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Yes, yes, I am gay. I don't like girls either." He shuddered. "Blech. Those big old boobs? Them big old hips? And don't even get me started on vaginas." He grinned at me. "Nope, I'm a big old fairy."

"Then why"-I hesitated, then plunged forward-"why didn't you want to be with me that time? I mean. . ." my voice trailed off.

"Oh, you big dope." He started laughing again. "Don't tell me-oh, this is priceless." He leaned over and brushed my cheek with his lips. "Jeff, I am very attracted to you. Are you kidding me? Have you looked in a fucking mirror lately? Let's see, hmmm. Okay. You're about what, six two? Blond, blue-eyed, and tan. You have an amazing body, and you have this seductively innocent look about you ... porn directors would drool over you. You could be an escort and pay your way through school-if you only knew what you were doing."

"Then why didn't you want me?" I couldn't help myself, I knew I was pouting like a little kid.

"Oh, God in heaven." He threw his arms up in the air. "Jeff." He took my face in both hands. "You're the kind of guy I could fall in love with," he whispered. "Don't you get it? The last thing in the world I wanted to be was just one of those ... oh, shit." He laughed and bit his lips. "I wanted it to be special for us, if it was meant to be, does that make sense? If you were one of those horny fucked up straight boys who just wanted to get off with whoever happened to be handy-I didn't want that, and you said yourself you'd never been with a guy before."

"That wasn't true." I admitted, my heart singing, He wants me! He wants me!

An eyebrow went up. "What do you mean it wasn't true? You lied to me?"

I nodded. "I-I didn't want to admit it, even to you. But I've been with a guy before."

There was a park in Emporia, near the campus of the university there. One night, Kevin and I and the girls we were going steady with at the time were driving around, aimlessly looking for something to do, some place to park and maybe make out or something. The movie was over, we'd eaten, and there was nothing else for us to do. The girls didn't have to be home until midnight, and we had some time to kill. I started to pull the Flying Couch over at the park when the girl I was dating-Lisa Driscollshrieked, "We can't park here!"

"Why not?" I looked over at her.

"This is a park where the queers go." She curled her lip. "You know ... to do whatever it is they do."

"How do you know that?"

"My sister goes to E-State, and she told me to never come here at night. Everyone knows about it. Get us out of here!"

So, I'd driven off. But a week later, when I didn't have a date, I came back by myself. I parked my car a few blocks away from the park-in case someone I knew drove byand walked over. My hands were sweating, my stomach churning, and I was scared to death. What if the cops are there? What if someone I know sees me? What if ... what if... what if... the thoughts kept swirling around in my head as I approached the park. It was dark and cloudy; there was very little light once you got away from the street lamps. I crossed the street and walked into the park. I couldn't see anyone around, and wondered if Lisa had been wrong, if I was wasting my time. What if I was too early? What if I was too late? Were there really other queers in Emporia? I walked through the park in my tight jeans and my T-shirt, my eyes darting around to try to see signs of life, of anyone, of anything. I kept walking, around trees and over grass, and after about a half an hour I was pretty certain I was wasting my time.

"Okay, just go home." I said to myself as I walked into a small clearing where the restrooms were located. I glanced at my watch. 11:15. I had forty-five minutes to get back home before curfew. I sighed. I'd wasted my night. All those nerves, everything-all for nothing.

Hey.

I jumped, and looked as a man emerged from the bushes to my right. He was short, maybe about five six, with a mustache and longish blond hair. He was wearing a tank top and a ratty looking pair of jeans, and his body was lean and tight. "Hey." I said, wondering if he was a serial killer or something worse.

"How ya doin?" He lit a cigarette, and in the flare of his lighter I saw that he was unshaven, and there was a Marine tattoo on his right arm.

"Okay."

He walked over closer to me, and smiled at me. He was maybe thirty years old. "What ya lookin for, kid?"

I swallowed, and fought the urge to turn and run. "I'm looking for a man," I said, hoping against hope he wasn't going to beat me up-but then again, I was taller and heavier.

"You've found one." He stepped up close to me, and put his hand on my crotch. He grinned up at me. "Nice." He made a head gesture. "I'm parked over there."

"Okay."

I followed him out to a van. He unlocked the back and climbed in. Looking around to make sure there was no one around, I climbed in and shut the doors behind me. The back of the van was carpeted, and there was a toolbox off to one side. He started brushing toys to the side, and crazy thoughts went through my head. He's married, he has kids, this isn't right, this is wrong, I need to get out of here while I still can...

He pulled his tank top over his head and smiled at me. "Come here, boy."

I reached out and touched his chest. It was mostly smooth, except for some errant hairs around each nipple. "Take your shirt off," he instructed, so I pulled my shirt up off over my head. "Aren't you a pretty boy?" He leaned over and put his lips on my right nipple, and started sucking it.

My breath started coming in gasps. I'd never felt anything like this before-it felt incredible. My cock got harder in my pants, and my head went back as I moaned. None of the girls I'd ever dated had ever let me do more than kiss them or get my hand up inside their shirt. They'd certainly never touched my dick, they'd never sucked my nipples. Then he moved his mouth over to my other nipple and I thought I was going to come right then and there. He looked up at me with his eyes and winked. One of his hands went down to my crotch and undid my belt, then the fly of my jeans. I lifted my ass up so he could yank my underwear and pants down. He took his mouth off my nipple and smiled at me. "Damn, that's a big cock, boy, do you know how to use it?"

"Uh-huh," was all I managed to get out.

He smiled again and stood up, pulling his own pants down. He didn't have on any underwear, and his own dick was standing up straight away from the thick blond hair. He opened the toolbox and grabbed a condom, which he opened and rolled over my dick. My dick jerked when he touched it, but he grabbed it at the base and squeezed. "Not ready for that yet, boy." He grinned at me, then squirted something on it. He reached down and pinched my right nipple. "Okay, boy time to show me what you can do with that big of club you got." He straddled me and grabbed my dick, and then slowly started sitting on it.

I could barely breathe. It felt amazing. Much better than when I beat myself off, much better than when I humped a pillow-the moist wet tightness of his asshole seemed to simply grab on to my cock and hold on to it. He gasped and stopped. "Damn, boy you've got a big one, don't you? That's gonna take me some time to get used to."

"Oh-oh-okay."

Finally, with the occasional grunt and moan, he managed to get all of me inside of him, and started rocking on it a little bit. "Boy, that feel so fucking good inside of me, you like it up there in my ass?"

"Oh God, yes."

He slid up slowly, and then settled back down. "I wanna keep that big of thing inside me as long as I can, boy," he whispered down at me.

"Uh-huh." I didn't care as long as it kept feeling this good.

He started moving faster, and stroking himself. It was like nothing I'd ever felt before-the friction on my dick, the feel of his hard little ass settling on my balls on the way down, the sliding of my dick out of him, and his hard little body looked so damned good up there, riding me. And then I felt it starting-"I'm gonna come." I gasped out.

"Good. Shoot it up inside me!"

My entire body went rigid and started trembling as an almost painful pressure started building inside of me and then I screamed as it started pumping out of me ... and he moaned as his own started squirting out of him. We both kept gasping, moaning and convulsing-and then I was finished ... and my body trembled as I tried to catch my breath.

"Nice," he said, reaching down with a towel and wiping himself off of me. He got off me and peeled the condom off, which he wrapped in a paper towel and put in a garbage bag. He handed me my T-shirt as he pulled up his own pants. "Thanks, boy." He opened the back doors to the van as I fastened my pants. I climbed out the back, holding my shirt.

"Thanks, kid." He winked and shut the car doors. As I stood there, the van started and then pulled away.

I put my shirt back on and headed back to my car.

Blair started laughing. "You had anonymous sex with some married closet case in a park?"

"Don't laugh at me!" I pushed him away from me. "It's not funny!"

"And here I thought you were this innocent little boy from the prairies." He stood up. He looked at me, his eyes sparkling. "I've got a great idea. What are you doing this weekend?"

"Nothing."

"Let's go to LA!"

I goggled at him. "Los Angeles?"

"Yeah." He started bouncing on the bed. "We can stay at my dad's-and we can hang out, and I can show you around. It'll be a blast!" he jumped off the bed. "Pack some clothes, dude. I'll go fix it up with your mom!" He paused at my bedroom door. "Get ready to live, prairie boy!"