Текст книги "Incinerate"
Автор книги: Tessa Teevan
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Текущая страница: 19 (всего у книги 26 страниц)
The last picture is my undoing, and I have to swallow hard as I collect my bearings. It’s a photograph of me lying on a stretcher in Afghanistan, taken by Public Affairs when they flew me out of there. Moving in, I read the caption: “Local hero Knox Wellington being medevaced after the detonation of a roadside bomb. His current condition is unknown.”
I don’t even realize that Charlie’s beside me until I hear her gasp. Looking towards her, I see that she has tears in her eyes and her hand is covering her mouth.
“That’s you,” she says softly.
Pulling her into me, I press a kiss against her head. “That was me, babe. And I got through it. I’m here. With you, okay?” I ask, looking into her eyes to make sure she really is fine. We’ve never talked in depth about the incident, so this is the first time she’s really coming face to face with my job. I’m guessing it’s a shock to her.
Nodding, she presses her head against my chest, embracing me. I’m not sure who’s comforting whom right now, but it doesn’t really matter. Seeing that my family didn’t completely forget me is both painful and encouraging. Painful because I allowed myself to think the worst all these years, but encouraging because it makes me think that everything’s going to be fine.
I don’t know how long we stand there, and I’m about to pull away when a voice interrupts us.
“Knox? Is that really you?’ I still at hearing the voice of my mother, the one woman I thought would never betray me but ended up doing so anyway.
Turning around, I find myself face to face with her for the first time in eleven years and I don’t know what to feel. I’m wondering how I look to her. When I left home, I was a boy. Young, naïve, stupid. I’ve put on over forty pounds of muscle since joining the Army, and now that I’ve come home, I’m a man. It’s probably weird, but I stand up just a little bit taller, hoping to put the changes in me on display, letting her know I’m not some kid who can be pushed around anymore.
Taking a moment to study her, I realize she looks the same, but I guess that’s what money will do for you. Looking surprised to see me, she extends an arm then detracts it immediately.
“I…I didn’t think you’d actually come,” she whispers.
“I didn’t think I would either, but Cohen wanted me here. And well, I think I’m ready to let go of the past,” I tell her, pulling Charlie closer to me.
Surprising me, she reaches her hand out to my mom. “It’s very nice to meet you. I’m Charlotte Davenport, but most people call me Charlie,” she says, sending her an award-winning smile.
My mom takes Charlie’s hand, shaking it softly. “Amelia Wellington. It’s very nice to meet you, Charlie,” she says, surprising me that she’d use a nickname.
“Knox, can we speak privately?” Mom asks, and a sense of dread and apprehension washes over me. Might as well get this over with.
Charlie begins to back away, but I draw her in closer. “Anything you have to say to me can be said in front of Charlie.” Mom nods, and motions for us to follow her.
She leads us to a remote den and closes the door. Sighing, she walks to the bar and pours herself a glass of brandy before motioning for us to sit. Taking a sip of her drink, she briefly closes her eyes before letting out a deep breath. She sits in an oversized chair and looks directly at me. My leg’s shaking, due to the nerves I’m feeling from wondering what she’s going to say. I’m not even sure at this point what I want her to say, what she could say to make everything fine between us. I’m worried it’s been too long, that we’re too far gone. Right now, the only thing keeping me from getting back in my car and going home is the girl sitting beside me.
“Knox…I have no idea where to start. I’m ashamed…so ashamed for far I let things go, for this division between us. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but you have to know that I am sorry for everything that happened. When you came home from the recruitment office and told us your plans, I lost it. You were always my sweetest boy, and the thought of you joining the military scared the hell out of me. It’d been less than a year since the September 11 attacks, and I couldn’t stand the idea that my child would be soon going off to war, which is why I broke down like I did. I should’ve let you explain at the time, and every day I pray I had, because I think I could have tried to understand why you needed to get away.” She pauses to take a sip of her brandy, swallowing hard, and I’m wishing I had one of those right about now. I don’t know what I was thinking was going to happen, but an apology didn’t even cross my mind, which is now reeling from her words. Words I didn’t even know I’d needed until she said them, but the moment I heard them, something—relief, maybe—washed over me. Years of pain and disappointment begin to fade away and I’m realizing that maybe it’s time to let go. Time to forgive.
Clearing my throat, I know I can be man enough to admit my part in this whole thing. “I should’ve explained. I know it was sudden, and it went against everything I’d been planning for my future, but I couldn’t get the words out. I already had the image of what they’d done engrained in my mind, and voicing what I saw, I just…” I trail off, not wanting to think about it. Charlie squeezes my hand, and when I look at her, she gives me a reassuring smile.
Nodding, my mother continues. “I understand that now. When you left, even after your father’s ultimatum, he and Branson convinced me that you were the one who left Megan and that you’d used your brother to make it sound like you were the wronged one. She even agreed that you two had been done before she began seeing him.”
“Bullshit. That’s not what happened,” I protest, more shocked that she believed their story but not surprised that Megan and Branson both lied about it.
A look of what I can only guess is shame crosses her face. “I didn’t know she was lying until Cohen told me that he’d overheard them talking about it. Then it was too late. You were gone, and I had no idea where you were. But I was so wrong, Knox, and I’ve been paying for it ever since. I should’ve known. From the moment you were born, you were my little sweetheart.” She pauses, and I’m reminded of all the times I spent as a kid helping her in the kitchen or listening to her cheer loud from the sidelines at my baseball games. Until Cohen came, I’d always been close with my mom, and I’m wondering how I forgot all those times.
She continues before I can dwell on it. “I knew you had the kindest heart out of all my boys and you would never hurt someone you loved. Instead I let myself believe them, and I was so wrong. And it’s been killing me ever since I found out the truth. I’ve missed out on so much of your life, all because of a lie. A lie I should’ve never believed in the first place.”
She bursts into tears, and it takes everything in me not to move to her, to let me comfort her, the way she did for me when I was little, but I’m just not ready. Sitting here, I can feel a burning sadness from knowing that if I hadn’t been a stubborn ass and forwarded my contact information every time I switched posts, maybe all of this would’ve been resolved years ago. Cohen was only eleven when I left home, and I’d send him random postcards without a return address. It wasn’t until he was fourteen that he tracked me down through email and we became brothers again. I made him promise not to tell my parents where I was, and as much as I know that it pained him to do so, he still kept my secret.
Slowly, she regains her composure. “The local newspaper loved featuring you every chance they could, proud of the Hometown Hero, as they called you. It made it easy to follow your career throughout the years. I’m not ashamed to admit I had to medicate myself every time I saw something about your platoon heading overseas. I was so terrified of losing you, even though I no longer had you. This last time…when Cohen told me you were in the hospital, I couldn’t stay away any longer. I know you probably don’t know this, but I was there, every single day. By the time you finally woke up, Cohen thought it’d be best if I left.”
An overwhelming sense of confusion rushes through me at her revelation, and I need her to clarify. To say it out loud. “You were at the hospital? Why?”
“Cohen’s kept me up to date with your service since he’s been old enough to really understand it. I know you had some agreement. He made me promise not to contact you unless you made a hint that you wanted it, and while that stung, I respected his—your—wishes. But when he got the call that you were in a coma, he freaked out and called me. Which lead to me almost having a meltdown and realizing that life is way too short not to have my son in my life. I love you, Knox. I always have. That will never, ever change. And after several fights between your father and me, I got in the car and made the drive to Ft. Campbell. I know I’ve been a shit mother, but you’re my son. I’ve screwed up for far too long. I needed to be there. I had to see that you were okay. And once you were, everyone thought it’d be best if I left,” she says, looking away from me.
Sighing, I honestly have no idea what to say. Or to even think at this point. “So you did actually come see me?” I ask, for some reason needing further clarification even though she’s already said it twice.
“Yes, Knox. I was there.”
Something fierce unleashes inside me, and I’m on my feet, pacing the room. I'm so caught off guard by her admission, and I have no idea how to feel right now. On one hand, I’m relieved. For the longest time, I thought I had lain in that hospital bed for three weeks and that even that wasn’t enough for my parents to come see me. That Megan, of all people, was the only one from my past who’d showed up, and I can admit that it hurt like hell. Hearing that my mother was actually there, that she did actually care, unnerves me.
“So you were there. You were in the fucking hospital room, after not having spoken to me in eleven years. Why didn’t you stick around? Why didn’t you fight them when they said you should leave? If you so badly wanted to be back in my life, why would you run when you had the perfect chance to make me listen to you?” I ask, wondering at the same time if I’d even have been up for listening to her if she’d tried.
“I wish I knew. I think, in the end, I was a coward. I had no idea how you were going to feel about my being there, and I didn’t think I could watch you in that hospital bed and demand that I leave. Because that’s what I was afraid of. That you’ve had enough time to hate me, and although I wouldn’t blame you, I don’t think I could have faced it. I told myself that I’d wait until you were out of the hospital and fully healed and hope to God that you’d be ready someday.”
Still pacing, I can feel Charlie watching me, and even though I want her close to me, I need to work this out in my head. “So you sent Megan?” I ask her, wondering why she would even think that would be a good idea.
“No, no, I’d never do that. Cohen told me what happened in the hospital. She was in charge of the invitations, and when I asked her to send you one if he would give her your address, I never would’ve guessed that she’d think to hand deliver it. I was surprised when she told me she saw you and you were considering coming. I’m so glad you did.” She stops to wipe away a few tears, and I’m trying to process everything she’s throwing at me when she goes straight for the heart. “I love you, and I’m so proud of the man you’ve become. As painful as it was, I think you getting out of Belle Meade is the best thing you ever did. I’m just sad I missed it all. I’ll never be able to say it enough, but I am so sorry, Knox, and I will be for the rest of my life.”
Crossing to her, I crouch down on the ground in front of her chair. “Momma, I’m not gonna lie. It’s going to take time for me to process all of this. I’ve had over a decade to build up my anger and resentment. One night isn’t going to make everything turn into rainbows and butterflies.” I pause as tears begin to fall down her cheeks.
I thought it’d be strange calling her what I always did as a kid, but saying Momma for the first time in eleven years brings on a sense of renewal—redemption even.
She’s not looking at me when she nods and I watch as her fingers pick at the tissue in her hand. Lifting her chin, I make her look at me. “That being said, I want you to know that I appreciate everything you just told me. And maybe I was wrong to keep Cohen from letting you know where I was. Maybe I was wrong for not explaining why I was leaving, and I’m sorry for that.” My thumb swipes her cheek, wiping the tears from her face. “I don’t know where things will go from here, but I love you, too. No matter what distance separated us that never changed. I’d like for you to be in my life, for us to find our common ground. And maybe, someday soon, we can be a family again.” I never imagined that coming here would lead to this, and if it weren’t for Charlie, I wouldn’t be opening up to my mother this way, but it feels good. It feels right. It feels like home.
Tears start streaming down her face, and I stand, pulling her up with me. I wrap my arms around her as she sobs into my chest, and I have to close my eyes when I feel the moisture pooling in them. I have no idea how long we stand here, but as her weeping begins to fade, I can hear the latch of the door closing. When I look up, I see that Charlie’s left us alone.
Mom pulls away from me and gestures towards the door. “She seems like a special girl, Knox.”
Looking at the closed door, I nod in agreement. “You have no idea.”
Chapter 27
Charlie
FEELINGS OF both elation and sadness are flowing through me as I watch Knox and Amelia. For a few minutes there, he wouldn’t let go of my hand, gripping it as if I were a lifeline, the only thing keeping him anchored in a stormy sea of emotional torment as he listened to his mother’s tearful apology. When he started pacing, I could see him warring with himself, fighting the battle of wanting to believe her as her words lay assault on the wall he’s built around his heart. It wasn’t until he knelt before her and wiped her tears that mine threatened to spill over.
Now that he’s pulled her into his arms, I know he doesn’t need me anymore, and I decide to give them their space. In this moment, he needs his mother, not me, and I want to respect their privacy. Slipping out of the room, I decide to roam, hoping that I can find Cohen or some friendly face that doesn’t mind talking to a stranger.
Walking towards the sounds of music, I find myself in an enormous to-die-for kitchen. I can’t help but trail my fingers across the expensive granite countertops. Cherry oak cabinets are spread throughout the room, and a gorgeous island is the focal point, resting in the center. I’m in a daze as I imagine amazing home-cooked meals when a sugary voice rips me from my daydream.
“What the hell are you doing in here?” I don’t have to turn around to know who it is. As much as I want to hate her, I take a deep breath, knowing I won’t do anything to ruin Knox’s day, especially after what just happened.
Slowly turning around, I muster up the closest thing I can to a smile. This girl doesn’t even deserve a fake one. “Hello, Megan. I was just admiring the kitchen while I wait on Knox. I’ve never see wood this gorgeous,” I tell her, trying to make small talk when I really just want to be a raging bitch.
Rolling her eyes, she scoffs. “I’m not surprised. I can’t imagine they have kitchens like this in that simple-ass, country Army town.”
I shrug my shoulders as I continue to touch the granite. “We sure don’t,” I drawl, trying to sound like the country hick I know she thinks I am for some unknown reason. “But Knox and I make do with our little, simple kitchen. And it just means that we’re more likely to bump into each other in such a tight, little space.” She scowls as I wink at her, and I know she catches my drift. Okay, so we don’t exactly have a small kitchen, but she doesn’t need to know that.
“You and Knox live together?” she asks, eyebrows raised. “I thought he was perpetually single, having sworn off relationships.” I’m curious to know where she heard that, but I’m not going to play into it.
“I guess people change. We’ve only been livin’ together since June. They’ve been the best three months of my life. I just can’t get enough of that man,” I gush, placing my hand over my heart. I know I’m laying it on thick, but the way her face is turning red has me wanting to laugh, and I can’t help myself from teasing her.
She’s about to respond when the door leading outside opens and a tall, attractive man enters the room. There’s no mistaking that he’s a Wellington, and I surmise that this has to be Branson. I can’t help but glare at him for a moment like he’s Public Enemy #1. Fortunately, I catch myself and study him when he joins Megan across the island from me.
He’s a little shorter than Knox, but there’s no doubt that they’re brothers. His eyes are the same green, but they’re tired, worn, with dark circles under them that I can probably attribute to years of working himself to the bone. His blond hair is grown out, perfectly styled. The main difference that I notice is his smile. It’s excruciatingly fake, and I wonder if his jaw hurts by the end of the day from how huge he’s cheesing. Knox, on the other hand, doesn’t know what the hell a fake smile even is. Every single grin, every single smirk, every single heart-stopping smile I get from him is one hundred percent genuine.
“Megan, why don’t you introduce me to your friend?” he asks her, looking me up and down before his eyes settle on my chest. My blood begins to boil, and for a split second, I feel bad that her husband’s got a wandering eye. Then I remember that she picked him over Knox. I should probably send her an anonymous thank-you note.
“This… girl is not my friend,” Megan says emphatically, as if that’d be the worst thing in the world. Branson’s eyebrows rise, looking back and forth between his wife and me.
Reaching out my hand, I shake his. “Charlie Davenport. I’m assuming you’re Branson?” I ask. He nods before bringing my hand to his lips and kissing it. Pulling away, I make a mental note to find the nearest hand sanitizer to rinse his germs off my skin.
The door opens again, and I’m relieved when Cohen enters the room. His eyes light up when he sees me, and even though we only spent a short time together, I’m as equally happy to see a friendly face. He rounds the island and pulls me into his arms, giving me a warm hug as he lifts me off my feet.
“Charlie, it’s so nice to see you. Knox didn’t tell me you were coming. He didn’t tie you up and kidnap you did he?” he asks before setting me back down on my feet.
Before I can answer, Knox walks into the room with his mom. “Cohen, why the hell do you have your hands on my girlfriend?”
Everyone in the room pauses, and the air fills with a tense silence as Knox watches us. Pulling away from Cohen, I cross the room to him, placing my arms around his neck. “Cohen was worried that you’d forced me to come with you. Apparently, you’re not as good at spreading the good news as I am,” I tease, poking him in the chest.
“Girlfriend?” I hear Cohen ask from behind me. “Seriously? That’s fucking awesome!”
“Cohen, language!” Amelia scolds behind us, and I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face.
“See? He was just excited that I was here with you. That’s all.” Grinning up at him, I say the next line so everyone in the room can hear. “Don’t worry, Rugged. You’re all the Wellington I’ll ever need.”
AFTER THE scene in the kitchen, Branson and Megan scurried off somewhere before Knox even got a chance to say anything to them. We’ve been here for a couple of hours, and he seems completely relaxed. I’m grateful he and his mom got their talk out of the way so that he could enjoy himself. While some of the partygoers seem surprised to see Knox, most of them are too busy asking questions about his military career to make it awkward. Amelia wasn’t lying when she said she’d kept up on it, as most of the family friends seem to know everything about him. I can tell that he’s enjoying himself, telling war stories to anyone who asks.
When he’s in the middle of talking about a convoy that came under fire in Iraq, I slip away, not wanting to hear about it. Knox and I haven’t talked much about his military career, but it scares me that he does such a dangerous job, even if we’ve never really discussed it.
Heading to the open bar, I order a glass of Sauvignon Blanc, needing something to cool me down in this Tennessee heat. The backyard is huge, and there’s a blues band set up on a makeshift stage. Taking my wine, I find a bench on the edge of the lawn, content to sit and enjoy the music while people-watching. It’s weird seeing Knox in this setting, but he seems just as comfortable as he does anywhere else. I have to remind myself that he grew up living like this.
The band switches gears and launches into The Zombies song “Time of the Season,” and I close my eyes, letting the music flow in my ears.
Moments later, a voice pulls me out of my trance. “Is this seat taken?”
Before I can answer, I feel someone sit down beside me. When I open my eyes, I want to roll them when I see Branson sitting next to me. Ignoring him, I listen to the riff of the electric guitar, wishing he’d go away.
“So, Charlie, you’re here with my brother?” he asks, his hand gripping the edge of the bench, inching closer to me.
“I am,” I tell him, keeping it short and simple. My skin crawls a moment later when I feel his fingers on my shoulder.
“You know, I could give you so much more than he can,” he says. “You’re gorgeous. Just think of the fun we can have. The last girl he had found out how much more of a man I am, and I bet I can convince you, too.”
His words infuriate me, and I want to tell him how wrong he is. There’s no way that he—or any other man—could give me more than Knox has. I don’t want to cause a scene, but I’m desperate to get away from him.
Jumping up, I spill wine on my dress as I begin to move away from him. He gets up and follows me as I make my way inside. Going to the kitchen, I’m desperate to get the sticky liquid off me. I go to grab a paper towel, but Branson’s there before I can clean myself up. He begins wiping my chest, and I don’t care if he’s just trying to be nice. The feel of his fingers on my skin disgusts me, and I can’t imagine what Knox would do if he walked in right now.
Something snaps, and I move quickly, grabbing his hand and pulling his arm behind his back as I move behind him, twisting it so he cries out in pain. I push him against the island, forcing him to bend over when I twist his arm even harder.
“What the fuck! You stupid bitch, get your hands off me,” he growls before I take my other hand and push his face down on the counter.
“Let’s get one thing straight, asshole. I care about your brother, and no amount of flash or money could ever make me even look your way twice. The way I see it, you and Megan did Knox a favor, and while I should say thank you, you’re too much of a jerk to hear those words. Do not ever touch me again. Don’t even fucking look at me, for that matter.” Pushing once more on his face, I let him go, backing away from him.
“You bitch. You’re going to regret that,” he says, shaking out his arm. Staring him down, I cross my arms, just waiting for him to challenge me.
“Branson.” His names comes from the shadows, and it’s not until a stocky man emerges that I realize we weren’t alone. He walks towards us and extends his hand to mine.
“Knox Wellington,” he tells me.
Holy crap. I had no idea Knox was named after his dad. Now that I think about it, I remember he did call himself the third at the gate. I wonder why he’s never told me this before. Shaking his hand, I introduce myself. “Charlie Davenport.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Charlie. I apologize for my son here. Until tonight, I didn’t actually believe he had a thing for his brother’s girls. I’m sorry you were subjected to that.”
I can’t help the confusion that crosses my face. “You didn’t know he stole Megan from Knox?” I ask.
“I had my suspicions, but I’d already lost one son. I tried to ignore them, but he just confirmed it for me,” he says, shaking his head, a look of disappointment washing over him.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Wellington,” I tell him, and I truly mean it.
Looking over at me, he sighs. “Not as sorry as I am.”
The door opens, and Knox enters with Cohen and Amelia. I notice Megan following behind him. Rolling my eyes, I feel like I’m a character in a Lifetime Sunday night special. They would all walk in right at this moment.
Knox goes rigid when he sees Branson, but he’s absolutely stock-still the moment he sees his father. Swallowing hard, he nods. “Sir.” I hadn’t realized until now that, although we met Amelia, his father hadn’t made an appearance.
“Son. It’s nice to see you,” the senior Knox says, nodding back.
“What’s going on here?” my guy asks gruffly, eyes appraising the room as they fall on Branson, who’s still shaking out his arm. I grin to myself, happy to have caused him a little bit of pain, even though it’s nothing compared to what he did to Knox.
Waving him off, I make light of the situation, knowing that the last thing he needs is more family drama just when things are starting to look up. Don’t get me wrong. I’ll tell him. I don’t want to keep anything from him, but I’ll do it when we’re far, far away. “It’s nothing I couldn’t handle, babe,” I say, smiling sweetly as I move to him, placing my arm around his waist. He looks down at me, eyebrows furrowed, like he’s going to protest. Bringing a finger to his lips, I stop him before he can speak. “Trust me, okay?” I ask, eyes pleading for him to just let this go.
Relief washes over me when he simply nods and pulls me in closer to him. His father crosses the room, standing in front of him. He holds his hand out, and I watch as Knox shakes it.
“I’m glad you could make it, Knox. I assume she’s yours?” he asks, gesturing towards me. In the past, I’d be bristling at the comment, like I’m a possession to be owned, but the truth is, I am his. He completely owns me, and I’m more than okay with that.
“Yeah, Dad. This is my girl, Charlie,” he answers.
His dad looks at me, and squeezes my shoulder. “I know. We just met. That’s quite a woman you have, son. And I know it’s probably out of bounds for me to say this, but hold on to this one.”
Knox simply nods. “I plan on it, sir.”
His dad places his hand on his arm. “I’ve got some schmoozing to do, but I’d love a chance to talk to you at a different time, when things are less hectic. Will you come back if we set something up?”
Knox looks down at me, and I smile, nodding slightly. It’s the push he needs, and I watch in silence as Knox jots down his number and email address for him.
“It really is good to see you. I mean it, son,” his father says, and I’m shocked when Knox pulls away from me and moves into an awkward side hug with his dad.
“It’s good to be home, Dad,” Knox says, and it sounds like he means it. They pat each other’s backs and say goodbye before Mr. Wellington leaves the room.
“I think we’re going to head back to Clarksville,” Knox tells his mom and Cohen. Amelia comes over, giving him a hug, holding on a little longer than normal. He leans down and gives her a kiss on the cheek, promising to be in touch. We say our goodbyes to Cohen, but Knox doesn’t say anything to Megan or Branson until we’re almost out of the room.
Stopping at the doorway, he turns to address them. “Someone once told me that I dodged a bullet where you two were concerned. I wasn’t sure I believed it at the time, but I know now I’m fucking lucky that you two decided to get together. And you know what? I’m not angry anymore. I hope you’re actually as happy as I am now. So thank you, not for breaking my heart, but for letting me go so I could find something real.”
Megan’s eyebrows furrow, and Branson looks pissed, but Knox doesn’t seem to care. I’m proud as hell at all he’s accomplished today. Nodding to his mom and Cohen, he grabs my hand, leading me out the door and to the car. It isn’t until we’re on the highway that Knox finally lessens his grip on my hand.
“So what happened?” he asks.
I take in a deep breath. I know I need to tell him, but he’s had such an emotional day and I don’t want to pile onto it.
I decide to go the whole ‘rip the Band-Aid off’ route. “Your piece-of-crap brother decided to tell me that being with him would be so much better than being with you, which pissed me off, causing my to spill my wine on myself, pissing me off even more. He tried to clean the wine off my chest, and then your dad walked in when I had him in an arm bar with his face pressed down on the counter as I warned him never to touch me again.” Damn, that was a mouthful.
Knox looks over at me, but I can’t read him. “You had Branson’s face pressed against the counter with his arm twisted behind his back?” I nod, and a huge grin spreads over his face. “And my dad walked in?” Again, I nod, and he brings my hand to his lips.
“My fucking girl,” is all he says as he turns back towards the road. Settling in my seat, I can’t help but be proud at how cool he’s being about all of this. I know this day has been overwhelming for him, and I’m more than glad he’s letting this go. That he trusts me enough to let me be a part of it. Turning in my seat, I look out the window, finally realizing that I’m one hundred percent head over heels in love with Knox Wellington.
