Текст книги "Honor and Betray"

Автор книги: Teresa Mummert

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Текущая страница: 3 (всего у книги 8 страниц)

Chapter Six

Emma was practically catatonic beside me as I drove her to my building across town. She didn’t break down until we pulled into the first floor of my place. Her body shook as the tears streamed down her cheeks. It gutted me inside that I couldn’t take away her pain. I exited the car and quickly made my way to her side. I pulled open her door and carefully lifted her into my arms. She snuggled against my chest and continued to weep as I carried her up the stairs and inside of my apartment. I took her straight into my bedroom, leaving the light off. I lowered her into the bed and slid in behind her, wrapping my arms around her body and pulling her tight against me.

She began to cry louder as I held her, stroking her arm as she let go of all the pain that plagued her. I hated that I was partly to blame for what she was feeling. I wished I could take all of her hurt away, but all I could do was lie by her side as the pain ripped her apart.

For what felt like hours, she shook and cried out until, finally, her body became weak, and she slowly stilled in my arms. I knew she was still crying, but she had exhausted herself.

“I can help distance the pain.” She glanced over her shoulder at me, and I squeezed her reassuringly. I had lived in a constant state of pain for years—an emotional torment that would only ebb when I was willing to let go and let pleasure take over. “Let me take it all away for you.” I knew it would be true for Emma. She was a natural submissive, and handing over control to me for awhile would give her time to not think. She would just feel, and it was up to me to make it pleasure or pain. I only wanted to please her.

She nodded, and I let my hand slide down over her abdomen. She rolled onto her back, and I positioned myself over her. She looked up at me through sad eyes as I slowly began to undress her.

I pulled her shirt off and followed with my own. I removed our pants and the rest of our clothing just as quickly.

“I love you so much, Emma.” I pressed my lips softly against hers, not wanting to go too fast or too hard. I needed her to focus on us. I settled between her thighs, and she sighed in my mouth as her legs fell open. I rocked against her slowly as her breathing quickened. Her nails dug into my flesh as I took my time kissing my way down her neck, trailing kisses across her collarbone.

“Please,” she begged as I took her hardened nipple into my mouth, sucking on it gently. I rolled my tongue over the bud, and she arched into my mouth. “Please, William. I need you.”

I kept my pace slow as I ventured down her stomach, licking and kissing as I made my way to her belly button. She squirmed underneath me as I dipped my tongue inside and continued a trail down to her hipbone. She lifted her waist, desperate for me to move faster. I took my time as I kissed my way down her inner thigh and back up. “Aah…please.” I looked up at her as her head fell back, and I placed soft kisses over her already wet slit. Her hips rotated against my mouth. I gripped onto her hips and ran my tongue against her, licking up every drop. She bucked against me, but I kept her tight against the bed as my tongue swirled over her clit. As her hips stilled, I used one of my hands to spread her open so I could fuck her with my tongue. “Yes,” she cried out as I slipped inside of her, thumb rubbing over her clit. Her hands fisted in my hair as she finally let go of all of her sadness and let herself get lost in the moment. I swirled my tongue over her and pushed a finger inside of her tight pussy. She bucked and cried out as she began to ride my hand. I slid a second inside of her.

“Let go,” I whispered as her body began to throb and pulse. She came hard, unraveling completely. I crawled up the length of my body and positioned myself at her entrance.

“Thank you.” Her arms wrapped around me.

“We’re just getting started.” I pushed inside of her.

Chapter Seven

I needed to feel some semblance of normal after receiving my second chance with Emma. I told her to get dressed and made my way out to the living room. I grabbed my phone, looking back at the door to make sure she wasn’t coming before I tapped out a text to Stephen.

You should not have done that.

After a minute, a reply came in.

I was looking out for you. Your judgment is clouded.

You should have looked out for yourself. You hurt her.

I slid my phone into my pocket as Emma came out of the bedroom. I suggested she find something to watch on television as I fixed us something to eat. As fucked up as I had made our lives, it was moments like these, peaceful boredom in the midst of chaos, that I lived for. I craved the feeling of normalcy as much as I craved control.

I made us cold cut subs while I watched Emma relaxing on the couch as the television screen flashed through the channels. She settled on the news, and I watched as J’s face took up the screen its entirety. I ran to Emma, pulling her in my arms. No matter what I did to shelter her from the world, it found its way to her. I grabbed the remote from her shaky hand and changed the channel before dropping it beside me and turning my attention back to her. I stroked her hair as I tried to console her.

“Shh…it’s okay.”

“I can’t do this.” Her words cut through me. I tried to ignore the pain in my chest. I kept her tightly in my grasp.

“I’ll help you through this.” She did not pull away, and I forced myself to relax. It wasn’t me she was trying to escape. “Nothing can hurt you anymore. I won’t let it.” I let my hand slide down her back as I rubbed it soothingly. She relaxed, placing a small kiss on my neck.

“Thank you.” I pulled back to look her in the eye as a tear ran down her cheek. I wiped it with the pad of my thumb. Her hand shot up to hold it against her face as her eyes fell closed. She trusted me completely, and I would not let her down.

“Let’s get you something to eat.” I stood, keeping her hand in mine as I pulled her to her feet. I led her to her seat at the island and grabbed our plates from the counter, placing them in front of her. She grabbed a chip and popped it into her mouth.

“Thank you,” she said as she brushed a crumb from her lip.

“It’s not my best cooking, but I figured you had to be hungry.” Before Emma, it was nearly impossible for me to empathize with others’ pain. She had taught me how to care again, even if only for her.

I ran my hand through my hair and took the seat next to her.

“No, I mean for everything. Thank you for being there for me.” She smiled. I tipped her chin up to look her in the eye, still unable to trust the love I saw in them for me.

“I’m not going anywhere, Emma. You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.” I laughed. Truer words had never been spoken.

“Why would I want to get rid of you?”

The smile fell from my face as I shook my head and returned my attention to the plate in front of me.

“Eat. You need your energy.” I refused to let myself think about all of the reasons Emma should turn her back on me and run as fast as she could. I didn’t need to remind myself of all the wrong I had done, because I was all she had left. I had to keep my past a secret now or risk her being completely alone.

“You have barely touched your food.” I gestured to her plate. She had only taken a few bites, and I had eaten my entire sub.

“I’m not really that hungry.” She set her sandwich on her plate.

“Eat.” I wasn’t asking. Emma still needed discipline and guidance. Something she had never gotten growing up.

“I’m really not that—”

I narrowed my eyes, and the words caught in her throat. “I’m not asking.” I grabbed my plate and took it over to the sink. I didn’t need to turn around to know that she had resumed eating. This was the one aspect of our relationship that ran flawlessly. I needed to dominate, and Emma needed someone to keep her in line and protect her.

I washed the few dishes in the sink as I tried to decide where we should go next in all of this. We were almost free to live our lives like a normal couple. But nothing about this would ever be normal. I wouldn’t be able to give Emma the things in life she really wanted. I could never give her children. It was fucked up enough that I pulled her down into my world—but never a child. I put the plates in the cupboard and grabbed a soda from the fridge. I placed it in front of Emma as she put the last bite of food in her mouth.

“Good girl.” I traced the curve of her jaw with my fingertip. Her face turned pink under my touch, and I couldn’t help but grin. I turned back to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. I grabbed a few tumblers from under the island and sat them between us.

“I don’t know about you, but it has been a long day, and I could use a drink.” I smiled down at her.

“Thanks.” I poured her a double shot and slid the glass closer. She picked it up and smelled it, making a face of disgust as she set it back on the countertop.

“Don’t ever hesitate. You just have to go for it, or you will talk yourself out of it.” That was how I went through life and got what I wanted. I slid the glass closer to her. She took a deep breath and drank it down, her face twisted in disgust as she chugged a gulp from her soda. I couldn’t help but smile.

“Again. This time, no chaser.” I refilled her drink as I watched her eye it cautiously. “Drink it.” I said slowly. She picked it up and drank the contents without a second thought. I drank mine as I watched her cough.

“Good girl.”

She smiled widely at my praise.

“More?” I held up the bottle between us. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and nodded. I didn’t want her to get wasted, but I needed to help her take the edge off. I poured another round, and we both drank.

“Woo,” she called out as it burned down her throat. The mood had lightened significantly, and I took satisfaction in being able to ease her discomfort, even if my methods were fucked up. She slid her glass back over to me.

“I think that’s enough for now.”

She pushed out her lower lip in a pout and I reached across the island, rubbing over her mouth with my thumb. “Let’s go have some fun.” I cocked my head toward the elevator and raised my eyebrow. She blushed, looking down at our empty glasses.

Chapter Eight

The third floor was the only place I could truly be myself. It was where the demons I carried inside of me got the chance to come out and play.

My eyes danced over Emma’s nearly naked body draped facedown over a high bench. I had her keep panties on to offer her some modesty. I knew she was eager to please me, but I wanted her to grow to love it and anticipate this time as much as I did. I would never leave this floor if it weren’t for that. This wasn’t something you could jump into with both feet. Trust took a long time to gain and only one mistake to rip away.

I secured her hands above her head and spread her legs wide. I didn’t bother securing her ankles because I enjoyed watching her struggle to follow my orders while overcome by pleasure. I leaned over her, my lips against her ear.

“If you move your legs, I will punish you.” I couldn’t help but smile at the sound of her sharp intake of breath as she stiffened beneath me. “You will fucking love it.”

She relaxed, releasing her breath as I stood upright and looked down over her.

“Do you remember the safe word?” I asked as I skimmed my fingertip down the back of her thigh, leaving a trail of goose bumps.

“Oh…god…”

I smiled as I brought my hand down fast and hard across her perfect ass. Red spread across her flesh, and I admired my mark.

“Wrong.” I brought my hand down again across the other cheek as it bloomed with color. I ran my fingers softly over the mark, dipping my fingers between her legs to feel how wet I had made her.

“Flower,” she panted as I slowly slid my fingers inside of her. “Ahh…yes…flower.”

I stilled my hand, and she squirmed.

“Are you using your safe word?” I asked as she turned her head to look at me.

“What? No! No!”

I couldn’t help but smile as I smacked her ass playfully.

“Stay still.” I poured some tingling lubricant over my fingers and ran them over her slit. She bit back a moan as her ass pushed back against my fingers.

“You can moan. I want to hear you enjoying this.” I rubbed over her again, pressing against her clit and bringing my fingers back over her ass. I felt her muscles tighten. “Just enjoy it, Emma.” I used my other hand to reach between her legs and massage her clit. I pressed two fingers into her pussy and fucked her slowly with my hand before pulling out and slipping my fingers over her ass. Her body stayed relaxed this time.

“Good girl.” I praised her as I repeated the process over and over, spreading the lubricant. After she was completely relaxed, I pushed my finger against her ass. She flinched, tugging against her restraints. “Shh…” I whispered. I knew it would not be as painful as she imagined. I used a lube that had a numbing effect, but she would have to trust me completely. I pushed the head of my cock against her pussy, shoving hard inside of her as she moaned. I pushed my finger further into her ass as I drove into her.

“William,” she whimpered, but I didn’t slow down.

“Emma, I want you. Every part of you. I can’t help myself.”

Her ass pushed back against me, and I couldn’t help but growl as she submitted herself to me so willingly. “Let me take you. Please let me take you. I can’t wait any longer.” I pulled out of her completely, gripping her hips so tightly they would probably bruise as I positioned myself against her ass. “Relax,” I commanded as I reached around her and rubbed her swollen clit.

“Ahh…yes…” she purred. I pushed my head inside of her, holding perfectly still as I stroked her pussy.

“Do you want me to stop?” I groaned, struggling to keep from burying myself inside of her. She shook as her orgasm began to build.

“No,” she moaned, and I rubbed faster as I pushed against her, slipping deeper inside until I was fully seated in her perfect, tight ass.

“This is mine, Emma. Every part of you is mine.” I groaned as I withdrew slowly, struggling not to fuck her hard like I needed. “Tell me, Emma. I need to hear you say it.”

“Every part of me is yours.”

I fucked her gently as I continued to massage her clit. “Mine,” I moaned as my hips bucked faster, desperate to fill her with my seed.

“Yes…I belong to you…William.”

Her words sent me over the edge, and I came hard as her body quivered beneath me.

“Jesus Christ,” I growled as I withdrew from her body and quickly undid the straps that bound her to the bench. She stood, staggering as she stretched. I forced too much on her, too much on her too quickly. I grabbed our clothing and wrapped my arm around her waist to guide her to the elevator. I cursed myself for taking advantage of her while she was mourning the loss of her aunt, even if the loss was not that great.

I guided her to the bedroom and waited for her to sit before I left to get her some water and aspirin. When I returned, she was curled up under the covers.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

“No…no…it’s nothing. I’m fine.”

I took a step closer, trying to read her expression. “Are you sure?”

“It’s nothing a little medicine and your touch can’t cure.” She smiled as she sat up in the bed.

“Here, I thought you may be a little sore.” I handed her the glass of water and opened the pills, dumping a few in her hand. I watched her dump the pills into her mouth and gulp down a sip of the water.

“Thank you.”

I smiled down at her as I climbed into bed and wrapped my arms around her. Having Emma in my arms was the only thing that seemed to keep the world on its axis. I drifted off to sleep as I held her firmly in my grasp.

Chapter Nine

I awoke to Emma groaning in pain. “Are you okay?” I asked as I ran the pads of my fingers along her cheek.

“I’ve been better.” My heart sank at her words. “But it was worth it, though.”

I smiled with relief, tangling my fingers in her hair and pulling her mouth to mine.

“Mmmm…” She moaned against my lips, and my body immediately reacted, growing stiff against her. I pulled back, pressing my lips to her forehead before forcing myself to get out of bed.

“Where are you going?” She asked as she propped herself on her elbow and stared up at me. I grabbed the bottle of aspirin and gave her two more pills to take with the water from last night. She took them without protest.

“Come on.” I held out my hand to her as I tipped my head toward the door. She furrowed her brow and handed me her glass of water.

“Where are we going?” She asked as she sat up. I took her hand and pulled her to her feet, her naked body flush against mine.

“Let’s go get cleaned up before we get dirty again.” I winked as I pulled her behind me to the bathroom. I turned on the water and waited for it to get slightly warmer than room temperature before turning back to Emma.

“You are so beautiful.” I couldn’t resist touching her delicate face. She shied away from my words, looking down at the floor between us. I tipped her chin up so she would look me in the eye. “You really are.”

She tucked her hair behind her ears nervously as her eyes scanned my face for any trace of deception. I rubbed over her silky strands. “You really don’t know, do you?” I placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “My beautiful, broken girl.” I took her hand and turned her toward the tub. She dipped her toe in, testing the temperature. “Good?” I asked.

“Perfect.” She smiled as she slid down into the water. I turned off the faucet and lowered my body in behind hers. She relaxed her body against mine, her arms resting on my knees as I grabbed the liquid soap and poured it into my hands. I rubbed my slick fingers over her breasts, but I couldn’t get my mind off the sadness that was still waiting outside of my door. She noticed my hesitation.

“What?”

I absentmindedly began to rub my palm over the peak of her breast. “We need to start thinking about funeral arraignments.” I hated having to bring her down. It broke my heart to know that my words caused her sadness. She nodded, but did not reply, and I continued to hold her tight against me and wash away her pain. It was one of the few moments that touching her wasn’t about giving me pleasure. Slowly, I was beginning to learn that loving her wasn’t about how she made me feel, but how I could make her life a little bit easier. A lesson I wished I had learned weeks ago.

When her body was sufficiently clean, she turned around to return the favor. Her soapy hands slid over my chest and down the ridges of my abdomen. My body reacted like it always did under her touch, and I grew hard. I grabbed her wrist, not sure if I would be able to control myself once her fingers brushed against my cock. Her stare was unwavering, and I let her slide from my grip. She wrapped her fingers around my length. I let my eyes close and enjoyed the touch of her for a moment before forcing her to stop. I didn’t want her worrying about satisfying me when I was the cause of all of her pain.

“That is enough of that.” I gave her a small smile before slipping out of the tub. I wrapped a towel around my hips and reached out to take her hand and pull her from the chilly water. She shivered as I grabbed a towel and draped it around her body.

“Thank you,” she whispered as I turned to walk out of the bathroom. I nodded. “I mean it. For everything.”

I stopped in my path, unable to resist the pull of my heart to her. I spun around, lifting her in my arms to kiss her. “I love you, Emma. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” They were the most honest words I had ever spoken. I would walk away from Emma if I needed to, but I also knew I wouldn’t survive the loss of her.

She slipped her fingers into my hair and pressed her lips softly against mine. I lowered her back down and made my way into the kitchen. My mind was only on her and making all of this right. I grabbed the phone and held it out to her.

“You need to call the police and see if her body is able to be released.” Her smile faltered, and I hated myself for forcing her to do something that would cause her more pain. “Emma, you need to do this. I would do it for you if I could. I would take all the pain from you if it were possible.” She nodded, taking the phone from my hand and grabbing the detective’s card from her purse.

I busied myself making something to eat as she spoke quietly on the phone. I cooked up some grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. I figured some comfort food might make her feel a little more at ease about the situation. Honestly, I had no idea what would help her. I was the last person to give advice to someone with a broken heart. Until I had met Emma, I wasn’t sure I had one at all.

She hung up the phone with an audible sigh and slid into her seat at the counter. I slid a bowl of soup in front of her and a plate with her sandwich.

“What did they say?” I asked as she looked over her meal, tears clouding her eyes.

“Thanks,” she mumbled quietly.

“What did they say?”

“They said her death was…insulin overdose.” She tore off a corner of her sandwich and dipped it into the creamy liquid.

Whomever Stephen had hired knew what he was doing. It was a dark secret of the fetish world. A little insulin play could quickly turn into a murder. I never personally understood the urge to render a partner catatonic. I preferred a willing participant or even a little struggle.

“That’s a good thing, right? You don’t have to worry about someone coming back to hurt you.” I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. What if she didn’t want to stay with me anymore because she was safe? I took a large bite from my sandwich as I thought over how I would keep her with me now.

“I guess. I never realized being diabetic was that serious. I just don’t believe she is gone.” I could feel her eyes on me, and I knew I should say something to comfort her, but I was at a loss. “They said I could make arrangements”

I finished my meal and began to make calls to arrange the funeral.