Текст книги "Honor and Betray"

Автор книги: Teresa Mummert

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Honor & Betray
By
Teresa Mummert

Chapter One

Emma clung to my hand as if hanging on for dear life, but I felt as though she was slipping out of my grasp. Her feelings were the one thing I couldn’t control, and it was driving me mad.

“Marry me,” I repeated, trying to keep my voice from shaking. It killed me that she was hesitating, that she had any doubts about her feelings for me. She was the one thing in life that I was sure about.

“What if…what if someone found out? You could lose your job.” She was scared. I had scared her. If I lost her now, I don’t know what I would do with myself. I raised my hand slowly and brushed the back of my fingers over her soft cheek. Her eyes fell closed with my touch. She was just as addicted to our connection as I was.

“I don’t care about any of that anymore. I don’t care about anything else. But even if I did, you’re not my student anymore. When I almost lost you, I realized what was important to me. I don’t want you to ever leave my side again.” Even saying the words—mentioning the idea of being without her—cut me open inside. I pressed my lips against hers, drowning in the soft warmth of her innocence.

“I can’t ask you to do that.” She placed her small hand on my chest, and my muscles tensed. She was telling me no.

“You didn’t ask.” I tried to force the anger from my voice, but I knew she had heard it, as her eyes narrowed slightly.

“I’m not saying no,” she said softly as her gaze fell from mine. My heart felt like it had seized in my chest. Emma was the one person I had let in. The one I would die for…kill for. She had become the center of my universe, and now my world was going dark.

I took a step back, unsure of how to handle the rejection. She placed her hands on either side of my face, and her beautiful eyes locked on to mine.

“I want to marry you. I just need some time. Take things slow.” She smiled, but it did not reach her eyes. I wrapped my hands around hers and gave them a reassuring squeeze. She wasn’t running. Not yet. I still had a chance to convince her that she belonged here with me.

“That’s all I want.” I wrapped my arms around her waist, needing to feel the heat of her body against mine. Her arms slid around my neck, and she pressed her cheek against my chest. We had gone through too much to let this slip away now. I had all but destroyed everything that stood between us; all that was left was for Emma to believe the lie. Believe that I was the one who would save her. In reality, she had kept me from falling over the edge of sanity that I precariously balanced on each and every day. She had become my entire world, and for once I had something to live for, someone to watch after and keep safe. I couldn’t self-destruct knowing I would leave her behind to deal with the wake of my rage. The world was no longer balanced. Good things should happen to good people, but here I was, the epitome of evil, and somehow Emma had managed to see the good in me. I wasn’t sure if it was all an illusion or if there truly was something decent and pure left inside of me.

I pressed my lips softly against hers, forcing myself to go slow and not take her the way I craved. I needed to show her that I was worth the risk, that I wouldn’t hurt her if she would just trust me. I lingered just far enough away that our mouths were no longer touching, but her sweet breath mingled with mine. I could feel her chest pushing harder against mine as her breathing picked up. The air around us turned thicker, and I could see the lust in her eyes. Her nails inched up my neck into my hair. I slid my hand into hers, fisting it and tugging back gently.

“Never leave me, Emma.” It wasn’t just a request. It was a warning. I would lose myself if I lost her now. I was in too deep.

“Never.”

I couldn’t resist my urges any longer. I claimed her mouth with mine. My tongue swept over her plump lower lip, and she let them part, inviting me in. I traced her spine with the fingertips of my free hand, gripping her ass. She let out a quiet moan into my mouth, causing me to go rock hard as I pressed against her. My fingers trailed lower, gripping under her knee and raising her leg so I fit perfectly in between her thighs. The worry and doubt all fell away in that moment. Emma was mine, regardless if she admitted it or not. She gave herself willingly to me to take her however I wanted.

Her hands slid down my chest, and she gripped onto my belt, fumbling to remove it. I pushed my body harder against her, and she gasped.

“I want you,” she moaned as her fingertips lingered at the top of my jeans. Her words brought out the animal inside of me. I shoved her back onto the couch and began to quickly unbutton my shirt. Her hand slid down the inside of her thigh, and I narrowed my eyes as I threw my shirt to the ground.

“Take your clothes off.” I undid my belt and slid off my jeans as my eyes took in every inch of her beautiful body. Her teeth dug into her plump lower lip as she pulled her shirt over her head. My eyes danced over her perfect tits. I clenched my jaw as I struggled not to rip the rest of the clothes from her body. She slid off her shorts and underwear, her hand resting on her lower stomach.

“Show me how badly you want me.”

She did not hesitate at the command, and her fingers trailed down over her smooth slit. I grabbed my cock tightly in my hand and began to stroke myself in time with her fingers. She let out a low, ragged breath.

“You are so beautiful.”

She pushed her middle finger inside of herself, her back arching off the couch and pushing her perfect tits in the air.

“Oh, god.” She moaned, as I slowly lowered my body on top of hers, keeping our eyes locked.

“Don’t stop.” I pushed the head of my cock against her wet pussy, sliding over her finger and across her clit. She removed her finger and pressed her palm against her mound, waiting for me to take her. I pressed against her tight hole, slipping my head inside of her. I had to close my eyes for a moment to keep from taking her fast and hard. There was a lesson to learn, and if I wanted to make my point, I needed to maintain control. Her muscles clenched around me, begging me to finish what I had started. I placed my fingers on top of hers and moved them in a slow and steady circle over her clit. Her hips bucked and pushed down against my dick, trying desperately to get herself off.

“Does that feel good?” The corner of my mouth pulled up into a smirk as her lips parted while she gave a quick nod. I pushed a little deeper, and she whimpered, her hips lifting from the couch. “That is enough of that.” I grabbed her wrists and pinned her arms above her head as I pulled out of her completely. I gripped both of her wrists in one hand and dragged the pads of my fingers over her slit. Her body writhed beneath me.

“William, please.” She struggled against my grip on her, and it only made my dick grow harder. I couldn’t help myself. I shoved a finger inside of her. She was dripping wet and shuddered as she nearly came. “Please,” she moaned, her hot breath blowing over my face as I inched closer. I slid a second finger inside of her and bent them slightly. Her jaw went slack as she began to ride my hand. He legs fell open wider, giving me a clear view of me finger-fucking her. She was fucking beautiful. I knew she was on the edge, and I loved watching her lose all of her inhibitions. I pressed my thumb against her clit. Her eyes fell closed, and she turned her head into the pillow.

I leaned close, running my nose along her cheek. The salty smell of her sweat and sex was making it nearly impossible for me to stop.

“Look at me,” I whispered into her ear. She obeyed immediately, her hooded eyes locking on to mine. “You wanted to take things slow.”

“You’re punishing me?” Her hips bucked as I slid my thumb over her clit again and held it still against her. I couldn’t suppress my smile as she narrowed her eyes.

“I’m just doing what you asked. You have more control than you realize, Emma.” I slowly swept over her again, and her look of anger returned to lust as her hips pushed back against my hand. My smile grew as I lowered my mouth just above hers. Just the thought of being buried deep inside of her was enough to make me come. I wanted to taste her, but she needed to commit to me fully. I couldn’t risk losing her. Not now. “I only want to please you, Emma.” I skimmed my lips over the length of her neck, her pebbled nipples brushing against my chest.

“Then fuck me.”

Not even I could resist her when she begged me to be inside of her. Her body was shaking, and she was dangerously close to coming from my hand. I withdrew and shoved my cock inside of her. She moaned as I pulled back and slammed into her again.

“I want every part of you, Emma.” I tightened my grip on her wrists as I pushed into her again.

“I’m yours, William.” She was mine. My possession, my love, my everything. I came hard inside of her as her pussy gripped my cock, desperate for everything I could give her. I’d become obsessed—addicted to pleasing her.

I released her wrists, and the skin flushed red. I hadn’t intended to hold her so tightly. I placed a hand on either side of her head and began to rise off her, but her arms looped around my neck, pulling me back against her.

“Please don’t go.” She held me firm, and I struggled internally to give her what she needed from me. I didn’t do lovey-dovey bullshit. I didn’t cuddle and talk about my feelings. I showed her love in the only way I knew how. I kept her safe, kept her with me, and made sure she was satisfied. But I knew she needed more than that, and I wanted to give it to her.

“I don’t think I could leave you if I tried.” I pressed my forehead against hers as I closed my eyes and released a heavy breath. Her fingers slid into my hair as I struggled against everything inside of me that had told me to run, but it was too late. My heart had finally found its rhythm again. Emma was the one person who could save me, if I didn’t kill myself trying to be who she needed me to be.

The further I fell for her, the more twisted my lies became. Sooner or later, this perfect world I had created would crumble and would expose men for the monster I truly was. What would become of her love for me then?

I closed my eyes as I tangled our bodies together, desperately trying to be as physically close to her as possible. We slept on the couch, entwined in each other’s arms. It almost felt normal, like we were just another couple in love. But then the sun rose.

Chapter Two

I loved waking up with Emma in my arms. I pulled her body tight against mine, my cock hard and ready against her thigh. I could never get enough of her.

“It’s hard to imagine I’m not dreaming.” I gave her a small kiss, but as my mouth touched hers, my thoughts turned to something much darker. There could never be anything innocent between us. At least not on my end.

“If we don’t get off the couch soon, we may die of starvation.”

I laughed, as even that sounded like an invitation.

“You’re right. I haven’t eaten in a while.” I narrowed my eyes as I slid down her body. I kissed her collarbone, trailing kisses down her breast until I reached her nipple. I pulled it between my teeth, and her hands fisted in my hair as she pushed against my mouth.

“William, we need to get ready for the day.” She giggled as my mouth continued down her stomach. I pushed her legs apart and placed a kiss on her inner thigh.

“Why?” I nuzzled into her, and she squirmed to get away from me as I tickled her. I was more than content spending the day seeing how many times I could make her come.

“I want you to meet my family.”

That was definitely not what I was expecting. I looked up at her, her gaze finding mine.

“I thought you didn’t want anyone to know about us?” This was bad. Very fucking bad. I was going to lose Emma all because of her loudmouthed whore of an aunt.

“I don’t think my aunt would tell anyone about us. Besides, she doesn’t have to know who your father is.”

I had to decide, now, how far I was going to go to keep her. There was no going back at this point. She was a part of me I couldn’t function without. I crawled back up the length of her body and ran the pad of my thumb over her cheek as I looked into her big, beautiful eyes.

“I will do anything it takes to be with you.” I meant that with every fiber of my being. I would do anything for Emma. Her arms looped around my neck to hug me. I tangled my fingers in her long, dark hair and held her to me, hoping that I would still be able to do this with her tomorrow.

I was drunk off her affection, and I knew wasn’t thinking rationally when I was with her, but I was no longer in control. Things kept coming at our relationship, no matter how hard I tried to protect what we had. As much as I loved Emma, control wasn’t something I could hand over.

“Take a nice hot shower. I’ll cook us some breakfast.” I placed a soft kiss on her forehead and tried my best to look sincere as I smiled down at her. I reluctantly pulled my body from hers and held out my hand to help her up. I pulled her to her feet. Her free arm looped over her naked chest, and I tried not to take it as an insult. I had exactly bared myself to her.

“Don’t hide yourself from me.” I pulled her arm from her chest, and she hesitated before dropping it to her side. I took in every inch of her body before titling her chin up with my fingers and forcing her to look me in the eye.

“You are perfect.” Her cheeks tinged pink under my gaze. I leaned in closer to her, ghosting my lips across her neck to her ear. She sighed as she leaned her head away from me so I could have whatever I wished from her. But now wasn’t about seducing Emma. Now I needed to form a plan and do whatever I could to keep her in my life for as long as possible.

“Go take your shower before I take you into the bedroom and we don’t get anything done today.” That was all I wanted to do. She nodded and turned toward the bathroom. I smacked her lightly across her perfect ass, loving the little yelp she gave as she looked over her shoulder with a wicked grin. I watched her until she was in the bathroom and I could hear the water begin to run. I grabbed my clothes and pulled them on, not bothering to secure my belt.

I made my way into the kitchen and leaned over the island, letting out a deep sigh as I tried to figure out what my next move would be. I hadn’t exactly been thinking clearly through all of this, but no one could have predicted Emma’s aunt would be someone who could pose a threat to our relationship. If anything, I had planned on her being a nuisance we would easily be rid of when I got Emma to move in with me. I ran my hand over my jaw before slamming my fist against the hard, cold countertop.

I needed to call Stephen and see if he had any ideas of how to handle this. I grabbed my cell and dialed his number, listening to the water running in the distance. I didn’t want Emma overhearing anything Stephen and I would be discussing.

I ran my hand nervously through my hair as I paced, my eyes fixed on the bathroom. Stephen answered after three rings.

“It’s early, William. Surely you haven’t gotten yourself in to trouble already today.” He laughed, and I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to bite back my frustration. I pulled open the fridge and grabbed batter to make some pancakes.

“I have something I have to deal with, and I don’t think I am in the best frame of mind to handle it alone.” I pulled a pan out from under the island cupboard and placed it on the stove.

“That’s what friends are for.” He sighed loudly. “So, your ex didn’t take the bait. Now we have a drugged-out bitch to deal with.”

“Not her.” I heard the water shut off, and the old pipes in the warehouse whined. “I’ll be over as soon as I can.” I hung up the phone without waiting for his response. I poured batter in the pan and watched it bubble and harden around the edges before flipping it over to finish cooking. I tried to focus on the task at hand and not the constant threat to my sanity.

I slid the food on a plate and began making the next, preparing for the bathroom door to open. I would have to seem unbothered and disappointed if I were going to keep Emma from getting upset over not meeting her aunt today. Emma. I was slowly removing everyone from her life, and all she would have left is me. That isn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want to destroy her; I just wanted her to be mine. It wasn’t that I cared about her family or friends, but I wanted her to choose to be with me, not be backed into a corner. I needed her to want it.

The door to the bathroom squeaked open, and my eyes met Emma’s. I was drawn to her, and I was never disappointed. She was still dripping wet and wrapped in an oversized white towel and a smile. She looked like a present that was just for me. My cock twitched, and I adjusted myself.

“I thought I was going to have to come in there after you.” I winked at her, and her cheeks heated pink. I loved having that effect on her. I preferred to turn her skin pink by my own hand, but seeing it change just from one look was also satisfying.

“I couldn’t help myself. It felt so good.” She crossed the room and took a seat on a stool against the island. I grabbed her plate of pancakes and slid it in front of her.

“You even make a shower sound sexy.” I took a seat next to her, drawn to her like a fucking magnet. She reached across the counter for the syrup, and I pushed it away with a smirk. She glared at me as she reached out again, and I couldn’t help but push it further.

“Careful. Remember what happened with the sugar.” I narrowed my eyes, causing her to giggle at the thought of being bent over the counter and fucked.

“I’ll have to remember that for later. We have too much to do today.”

“I’m sorry, Emma. I’m going to have to meet your aunt some other time.” I searched her face for any sort of doubt or anger. She sank back in her seat, placing her fork on her plate as her lower lip jutted out. I wanted to bite it. I shook the thought from my head. I tucked her dampened hair behind her ear while I traced the shell with my fingertip.

“I got a call from my lawyer while you were in the shower. He needs me to overlook the paperwork about the Abby incident. It shouldn’t take long, but I think it would be best if we rescheduled meeting your aunt for another day.” My eyes searched her face as she visibly relaxed. I placed my finger under her chin when she didn’t respond. I pulled her chin toward me, forcing her to look me in the eye.

“You’re not mad at me, are you?” I couldn’t handle any more stacked on top of me. I needed Emma to trust me so I could figure out how to right all of the wrongs I had caused.

She shook her head, her damp hair falling in her face as she smiled widely. “Of course I’m not. You take care of what you have to do, so we don’t have to worry about Abby anymore.”

I nodded and turned back to my food in front of me. She was being honest. She may be disappointed, but she wasn’t upset. I could work with that.

“Eat.” I took a bite of my food, feeling her eyes watching me as I ate. After a moment, she resumed eating, and not another word needed to be spoken.

Chapter Three

I washed our breakfast plates as Emma retreated to the bedroom to get dressed. I forced myself to scrub the plates in scalding hot water to keep myself from following her into that room. Fuck it. I sat the plate on the counter and made my way to the room. Her eyes met mine as the door squeaked open and she smiled. I couldn’t stop myself from raking my eyes over her body, but something troubled me. Why had she closed the door? I was losing my mind. I was beginning to doubt her feelings. Was she shy or scared?

“What?” Her smile faltered as she clung to the brush in her hand. I walked toward her, slowly, keeping my eyes locked on hers.

I reached out and ran my fingertips along the hard curve of her jaw.

“I don’t deserve you.” I searched her eyes for any fear but was met with a smile. She trusted me. It was a mistake on her part, but it made my chest swell with pride. Somehow, I will make this all right for her. Somehow, I will fix what I had done to her life, and hopefully she would still allow me to be in it. I slid my hand through her tangled wet hair and pulled her closer, ghosting my lips over hers. Her breath hitched, and she pushed her lips hard against mine. I normally would have punished her for such a bold act of defiance, but I needed it now—needed to know she wanted me as badly as I wanted her. Maybe she could then understand why I had to do the things I did. I groaned as I deepened our kiss, fisting my hand in her wet hair and holding her to me. Her body fell against mine. Her lips parted, granting me permission to take her.

I slid my free hand down her spine as her back bowed farther into me. I reached the waist of her jeans and forced myself to break from her spell. I rested my forehead against hers and took a deep, calming breath.

“I need to go. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She nodded in response, her eyes still closed. I ran the pad of my thumb over her plump lower lip, forcing myself not to take it in my mouth once more.

“I love you, Emma.” Her eyes opened and locked on to mine, searching for truth.

“I love you, William.” I can’t explain the effect her words had on me. My mouth found hers again, but I couldn’t force myself to be gentle. I gripped her ass as I kept her firmly against me, my cock hard and ready between us. Her mouth pulled free from mine, and we both panted.

“Do you have to leave now?” She asked as her eyes rose toward the ceiling. She wanted me to take her upstairs, to let me hurt her, because she knew how much I enjoyed it. That was even more reason for me to go. I couldn’t lose her after all we had been through.

“I have to do this now. I promise you, we have all the time in the world.” I leaned my forehead against hers, struggling for the strength to walk away from her. “I won’t be long.” She nodded in understanding, and I forced myself to pull away. I gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and left the bedroom before I gave up on everything just to touch her. I slid on my shoes and left the apartment as quickly as possible.

I couldn’t think straight anymore, and every ounce of control I once possessed was slipping away with every moment I spent with Emma. My world was crumbling and collapsing, but I couldn’t walk away. Don’t get me wrong, I had no regrets. When I thought back to the people who had stood in our way, there was no sympathy. But if any of my actions came back to hurt Emma, I couldn’t live with myself. I needed to keep her safe from the world. She was mine. But who was going to save her from me?

I got in my car and raced across town. I needed a voice of reason. I needed to be talked off a ledge. I made it to Stephen’s office in record time. I gave a nod to the receptionist who looked like she wanted to stop me from barging into his office, but something stopped her. I can add “scaring little old ladies” to the list of reasons Emma should run now. I pushed open the door, and Stephen froze mid-sentence. The young woman who sat across from his desk glanced up at me from behind her thick, black-framed glasses.

“Why don’t we discuss this later after you have run the numbers, Laura?”

The woman looked to Stephen and back to me, unsure if it was safe to leave us alone together. But slowly she rose from her chair and walked around me, keeping as much distance between her and me as possible. As soon as she exited, I closed the door behind me and locked it.

Stephen leaned back in his chair, his fingers steepled in front of his chest. “This couldn’t wait?” he asked and motioned to the seat that Laura had just vacated. I sat down, blowing out a long breath before clearing my throat.

“Things keep getting more complicated.” I shook my head. “I need your help.”

Stephen leaned forward, placing his arms on his desk.

“This isn’t the mob, Will. We can’t just kill anyone who gets in our way.” He half joked, but the look on my face made him realize this wasn’t a laughing matter, and his expression soon turned serious.

“I don’t want to kill anyone else. I want to make this shit right.” I ran a hand through my hair as I looked down at the floor.

“Emma.” He wasn’t asking. He knew everything was about Emma now. I couldn’t see anything else. I was becoming obsessed.

“I can’t lose her now. I love her.”

Stephen barked out a laugh, and I squeezed my fists, the skin of my knuckles stretching painfully.

“Will, I have known you forever. I know you better than anyone else does. I’m being a friend when I tell you this is heading down a road you have already been down.”

“She’s not Abby.” I said between clenched teeth.

“No, she’s not. But you are still you.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” I pushed the chair back roughly as I stood, leaning down over him. He didn’t flinch or pull away.

“Everyone you touch gets sucked into this force that you have. I am barely struggling to keep my head above water whenever you come around.”

“When I come around? You mean like the time I saved your ass? You mean when I did the fucking dirty work so you wouldn’t have to?”

“Lower your voice.” He leaned forward and talked just barely above a whisper. “I am forever grateful for what you have done, William. But it is time to take a step back and decide if this is all worth it. Is it worth the trail of blood that follows you for some piece of ass?”

I reached out, without thinking, and my fingers wrapped around Stephen’s throat, squeezing slightly.

“Don’t ever talk about her like that. I fucking love her.”

“You love yourself. You don’t know how to feel anything for anyone else outside of hate.” His voice broke as he struggled to take in a breath. I released him, shoving him back as I did so. He rubbed his neck as he looked me over.

“That’s not true.”

“Tell me what it is you love about her?”

I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I’m serious, William. I want to hear you say it.”

“Everything.” I threw my hands up.

“That’s not an answer.”

“It’s the only fucking answer I got.”

“Because you don’t know what love feels like. It’s selfish.” This time he did flinch when I took a step toward him, the threat clear on my face.

“She loves me.”

“Will.” His eyes met mine, sad and regretful.

“You don’t think she loves me? You don’t think I deserve to be loved?” I was raising my voice again, but I couldn’t stop myself. There was a knock at the door, and Stephen and I stared at each other for a long moment.

“We are fine. Just a lively discussion,” he called out with a laugh. I ran my hands through my hair as I tried to figure out where this all went wrong.

“I think she is infatuated. She looks up to you and has no idea how deep she has gotten, and she won’t until it is too late.”

“You think I’ll hurt her? You think she isn’t safe with me? All I want is for her to be safe.” I slammed my hand down on his desk.

“If all that were true, you would walk away.”

I straightened my back as I looked him over. “I can’t.”

His expression turned somber. “Poor Emma.” He shook his head. “It’s not love. It’s infatuation.” Stephen shook his head.

“She is different.”

“Yeah, she is different, William. You aren’t.”

“Are you going to fucking help me or not?”

“Fine,” He motioned with his hand for me to take my seat and laced his fingers together. “Who is the problem now?”

I took a seat, taking a minute to calm myself down before I tried to explain.

“Emma has an aunt who treats her like shit.”

“We all have family that sucks. Look at your father.”

I glared at him but kept my mood level.

“She is J from the club. The club.” I had his attention now. Stephen ran his hand down his jaw and laughed.

“You think this is funny?”

“No. I really don’t.” He grabbed an oversized manila envelope from his drawer and tossed it on the desk. I furrowed my brow as I took it and let the pictures slide on to the desk. Pictures of Abby scattered across the desk, and it took a moment for me to realize where she was. The house in the background was Emma’s.

My eyes met his before I continued to take in what I was seeing. Abby was thin, and her skin grey in the sunlight. J was leaving the house, locking the door behind her. The next picture was of Abby stopping her in the street.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” I felt the bile rising in my throat. I was too late. J knew who I was. She knew about Emma, and now she knew Abby. “It’s too fucking late.” The enormity of the situation washed over me. Emma was going to leave me. There was no stopping it now.

“It’s not over. I have a high stake in this is well. Unfortunately, your infatuation with Emma has made things a little more complicated.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“This just landed on my desk. I didn’t know the relationship between J and Emma or I would have called you first.”

“Who did you call first?”

Stephen cleared his throat as his eyes danced over the pictures.

“Our hands are dirty enough from this, Will. It’s time we reevaluate and decide what it is we want in the end. It’s time to tie up the loose ends.”

“Abby is a fucking loose end. J didn’t have anything to do with this.”

“She has everything to do with it now.”

I pushed up from my seat and left his office as fast as I could. My mind was spinning, and all I could see was sadness in Emma’s eyes when the last of her family disappeared. It killed me inside to know that it was all because of me. Even if it wasn’t at my hand.

I drove across town to the club, hoping J would be there. I didn’t know what I would say to her. She knew too much. There was no telling how much Abby had said to her. No doubt, her goal was to threaten and make me feel like Emma was no longer safe. It worked. Stephen’s words echoed through my mind. I knew what I felt for Emma was love. I was no longer concerned about how something would affect me; I only wanted to make sure she didn’t get hurt.

I couldn’t see any other outcome. I wanted to prove to Stephen, prove to myself, that my feelings were genuine. I needed to know I wasn’t the monster anymore.