Текст книги "Strings Attached"

Автор книги: Stephanie Julian

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Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

Which didn’t explain that kiss.

No. They’d agreed. They weren’t going there.

“She is.”

Nik finally looked up. “And have you talked to her about coming back to the band? What does she think?”

A twinge of something hit him in the chest but he brushed it off. “She knows how important Baseline Sins is to me.”

“So she’s gonna be okay when you head out on tour for months at a time?”

“We’ll talk about it. She’ll have nothing to worry about.”

Nik’s smile was bittersweet and Baz had no idea what he was thinking. “Always the optimist.”

“No. I don’t know. Maybe. I just know how I feel about her.”

Nik nodded.

“So, we gonna call the guys or we just gonna let ’em twist?”

Baz smiled. “Let’s get the band back together.”

Chapter Twelve

“Hey, Tru, baby. How goes it?”

A smile already curving on her lips, Tru looked up at the bear of a man standing in the doorway to her office.

Zach Sheidy had the smile of an angel, if angels came with size-fourteen feet, stood at least three inches over six feet, and weighed in at 220 pounds of pure, bulging muscle.

“Good morning, Zach. You’re early today.”

“Didn’t get done recording last night. Practically fell asleep on my kit but I hate leaving shit unfinished so I figured I’d get in here before anyone else.”

He must’ve been able to tell from her expression that he wouldn’t be the only one in the studio.

“Let me guess.” He shook his head. “Baz.”

“Got it in one.”

Zach shook his head, auburn waves swaying. “The guy’s fucking relentless when he’s got his mind set on something. Thanks for the heads up, babe.”

“No problem.”

His gaze narrowed. “Everything okay?”

She wanted to be able to smile and say, “Yep,” but the past three weeks Baseline Sins had been working here had been . . . eye opening. In so many ways.

So she lied and said, “Sure.”

Which Zach didn’t buy for a minute. He walked into her office and sat on the chair in front of her desk. The chair gave a slight creak but held. “Bullshit. What’d he do? I’ll go smack him down for you.”

Shaking her head, she smiled, and this time, it was totally genuine.

For the past two weeks, the men of Baseline Sins had become constant fixtures in her office. Zach always stopped on his way in to say hello. The guy lived up to his nickname of Zachy Bear, because he was just a big teddy bear, sweet natured and quiet, so different from the four other men of Baseline Sins.

“He didn’t do anything.”

And that was the problem. They hadn’t had time to do anything. He didn’t ignore her. He just wasn’t . . . there.

And she missed him. It felt like a hole in her gut, it sucked so bad.

“Ah.” Zach’s mouth twisted in a grimace. “He can get pretty damn focused when he’s making music.”

“Yes, he can. And don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. Not at all. He’s just not . . . here.”

“But the sex is still off the charts, yeah?”

She sighed and shook her head but, truthfully, she’d become used to the lack of a filter displayed by all of the guys. If it crossed their minds, it usually came out of their mouths.

“Yeah, it is.”

Hell, it was better, if that was even possible. When they had sex. But those times had become few and far between these past few weeks.

With a quick glance over his shoulder, Zach leaned forward and when he spoke, his voice dropped to almost a whisper.

“You’re good for him. Don’t let him scare you away.”

Her lips curved in a smile that Zach returned, which made her want to sigh. The guy was built like Dwayne Johnson but when he smiled, he had the charm of Colin Firth. And that was no mean feat in her book.

But when Sebastian smiled at her . . .

Her smile fell away. Because when Sebastian smiled at her, she knew she was going to be broken-hearted when he left. And he would leave. Probably sooner rather than later.

She’d started to steel herself against it and had begun to retreat. Not that Sebastian had noticed. Which meant she was a better actress than she’d thought.

“Tru? You okay?”

Blinking, she forced herself to smile again. “I’m fine.”

Zach nodded but he clearly didn’t believe her. Luckily, he didn’t push. Rising, he tapped his fist on her desk. “Hang in there, babe. Recording can be worse than touring sometimes. And sometimes you just need to smack him upside the head to get his attention. Don’t be afraid to do it every now and then.”

“Do what?” Sebastian appeared in the door, hair sticking out at all angles, like he’d been running his hands through it. His fingers were wrapped with tape to stop the bleeding. “Hey, where the hell you been? Come on, man, we got stuff to do.”

“I’m getting there.” Zach turned and headed toward Sebastian. “Just stopped to say hi to Tru.” Then he gave Sebastian a shove into the office. “You better do the same.”

Sebastian had a question in his eyes when he turned back to her. “What’s up his ass? I said hello this morning.” Then he frowned. “Didn’t I?”

When she raised her eyebrows at him, he wrinkled his nose in the most adorable grimace.

“Shit. Sorry. Mind’s going in a million different directions. No excuses.” He closed the distance between them with two long strides, skirting the desk to lean down, wrap his hand around her neck and bend down to kiss her.

Even though she’d been expecting it, her breath caught in her throat and her heart pounded against her ribs like a trapped bird.

She let him take the kiss, let him have what he wanted and soaked in everything he gave. His desire blazed through, burning straight into her blood.

And then he was gone. Or at least, his lips were. But he hadn’t gone far. Just enough to be able to stare into her eyes.

“Damn, how the hell could I forget to do that this morning?”

She tried to suck in a breath and not show how breathless she was. Which was almost impossible when he moved his hand from her neck to her cheek and rubbed his thumb across her lips.

“No problem. You’ve been a little preoccupied. I get it. You’re busy.”

And she did. Because for years, she’d been the same. Always needing to be somewhere or do something. The only difference was, she hadn’t had anyone in her life to make demands on her time.

No one to potentially break her heart.

“Yeah. And I’m sorry—”

“No. Don’t apologize for doing what you love.”

She never wanted him to say she’d tried to come between him and his music or his band. That wasn’t the kind of woman she wanted to be. It wasn’t the type of relationship she wanted.

And what type of relationship is that?

She was beginning to believe she didn’t want any kind of relationship at all because her heart hurt, just thinking about how alone she’d be when he left. Which he would do sooner rather than later.

His gaze narrowed and she knew he’d seen something in her expression. Something that made him pause and study her more closely. And since she didn’t want him to see exactly what she was thinking, she leaned forward and rubbed her nose against his.

Any type of affection threw him off course. He craved it as much as she did. And she hated herself for manipulating him.

Especially when she’d felt herself pulling away and he’d been too busy to notice.

“You want to get some lunch today? I’ll make sure we take a break and—”

“Actually, I’m taking Jessalyn out to lunch today.”

Did he look relieved?

Or was she simply projecting her guilt on him?

“Okay.”

With a nod, he pulled away. But when she thought he was going to leave, he instead sat on the edge of her desk.

Leaning back in her chair, she let herself stare at him, though she tried not to make it too obvious. He looked absolutely lickable. His ragged jeans had bloodstains, probably from his fingers, but they hugged his thighs like a second skin. His black t-shirt had several holes and the sleeves had been ripped away to expose his muscular, tattooed biceps. She wanted to bite them, to lick away the salty sweat on his skin.

Hell, if he offered to bend her over her desk right now and fuck her, she wouldn’t say no. Not even with Greg down the hall, the band waiting for him in the studio, and Jessalyn just yards away in the reception area.

She’d let him lift her skirt and wrap her hair around his hand and slam into her hard and fast.

She’d love it.

She needed to tell him she was releasing all claims on him. Not that she’d had any to begin with, but for her own sanity, she needed to let him go. Before he left and she had to pick up the pieces of her broken heart.

Jesus, you sound pathetic.

“Where’re you going?”

She blinked. “Going?”

One side of his mouth quirked into a grin. “For lunch. With Jess.”

So he was already calling her Jess? Which is exactly what their new receptionist had told Tru to call her this morning.

She was totally losing it.

“To Haven. It’ll be quiet and we can talk.”

“She seems nice.”

Tru smiled sincerely, because, yeah, Jess was. And Tru couldn’t help patting herself on the back every now and then for hiring her. “She is. I think she’ll fit in well here.”

His head cocked to the side. “You sure you’re okay?”

He looked worried and that was the last thing she wanted him to be. He needed to be focused on his music so he and the band could finish their album and go back out on tour. So he could be who he was meant to be.

The rock star.

“I’m fine. Just a lot on my plate today.” She smiled up at him, hoping it didn’t look too forced. “You need to go back to work so I can do the same.”

His smile returned as she pulled out her bossy tone and pointed toward the door.

“Yes, ma’am. I’ll get right on that.”

He pushed away from the desk and headed toward the door.

“Sebastian.” I love you. “Try not to make yourself bleed any more than you already are.”

He lifted tape-covered fingers and saluted her, smiling that smart-ass grin before he turned and walked away.

For several long minutes, she sat there staring at the door, trying to breathe through the rock of anxiety sitting on her chest.

Last night, in bed, alone, she’d realized exactly what she needed to do.

She only needed to hold it together for the next two weeks. The guys would be finished recording by then and getting ready to head out on tour.

Sebastian had told her they were about to finalize a co-headlining tour with another major act on their label, which would start in a month, a week after the film premiere. The only reason they’d been able to manage it in such a short time was because the other group had already set the dates but hadn’t yet announced.

According to Nik, this other group was thrilled to have Baseline Sins join up. Combining forces meant potentially doubling their ticket sales. And it meant Baseline Sins didn’t have to shoulder the burden of headlining a tour.

A win-win for everyone.

Except it also meant that the guys would have no downtime between finishing the album and rehearsing for the tour. They’d have to go straight into rehearsals to make sure they were ready and knew the music.

And that meant Sebastian would have no time for her.

Luckily, she had more than enough to keep her busy. There were so many different pieces of ManDown that needed attention right now.

In addition to the release of Greg’s film, Val still had another few weeks of filming, and the company was close to signing a development deal with a TV production unit that wanted to film a show on location in Philadelphia. They had two other films shooting as well, one in Canada and one in Chicago and she was negotiating with two other smaller production companies that wanted ManDown to partner with them.

Just the sheer amount of paperwork involved in keeping ManDown running day-to-day kept her mind off everything else.

Everything else being Sebastian.

*   *   *

Sebastian knew something was up with Tru. He just didn’t know what or how to talk to her about it.

He figured his usual approach of just blurting things out wouldn’t work this time. She deserved something more. Something better. He just hadn’t figured out how to approach the problem yet.

“Jesus, Baz, keep your head in the game, man. You fucked up that progression again.”

With a sigh, he shook his head at Zach. “Shit. Sorry. Let’s go again.”

They’d been working on this song for most of the morning. Nik, Trev, and Jase hadn’t come in yet. Probably sleeping off yesterday’s fourteen-hour session. But it gave Zach and Baz a chance to nail down this rhythm in the song Jase and Trev had written.

It’d been close to two in the morning before they’d split. They all had suites at Haven now, making it easy to keep track of everyone. If Baz had an idea at three in the morning, he could go across the hall and wake up Nik.

Trev and Jase had connecting rooms down the hall, and Zach’s suite was next to Nik’s. Tyler had fortunately been able to get them all on the same floor, but they were spending almost all of their time in the studio anyway.

And what little time he did spend away from the studio, he spent with Tru at her townhouse. Which hadn’t been more than a couple nights in the past two weeks.

“Nah, let’s take a break.” Zach shoved his sticks in the holder and stood, stretching his back. “Fuck, I could use a massage but I haven’t been able to find a masseuse I like since Sonya went and got knocked up.”

“When’re you gonna see Gina again?”

Zach busted out a goofy smile that made Baz want to shake his head. “Not for a while. They’ve got dates on the west coast for the next two weeks. Then they head up into Canada. I’m gonna catch up with them for a few days when they hit Chicago.”

Baz nodded, glancing down at his hands for a few seconds before figuring out how to phrase the question that’d been bugging the hell out of him.

“Baz?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s going on, man?”

Baz’s head popped up and he saw Zach staring at him. He didn’t look worried but he definitely looked concerned. And yeah, there was a difference.

He’d noticed that Trev and Jase kept watching him, like they were waiting for him to crack again. They were worried. He got that.

Hell, even Nik kept watching him, but he didn’t think Nik was worried. No, there was something else going on with Nik but Baz just wasn’t ready to deal with that problem head on.

Zach was the only one of the guys he felt able to talk to without watching what he said.

“How do you do it? How are you making it work?”

Zach held his gaze as he thought about his answer for a few seconds. “I’m not gonna lie, man. The time apart . . . it sucks ass. The first few weeks, I seriously considered calling it off. I spent a few weeks on the road with Gina and her band before we realized that wasn’t gonna work. I didn’t have enough to do and she had too much going on to babysit me. I was driving her crazy. And I was driving myself crazy because I couldn’t get out onstage and play.”

Baz shook his head. “I’m so—”

“No.” Zach held up one hand. “Wait. Just listen. I’m not trying to lay a guilt trip on you. I’m just explaining where my head was because I don’t wanna see you fuck things up with Tru.”

A prickle of annoyance made Baz’s back straighten but he kept quiet. Because he agreed. He didn’t want to screw up with Tru.

“So I left. It totally fucking sucked to be away from her, but I knew if I stayed, we’d end up hating each other. We figured out a schedule. Every couple of weeks, I’d meet up with them and stay for a few days. Then I’d leave for a couple weeks. And it helped.”

“But weren’t you worried? I mean, you know what happens when we’re on the road. It all gets so fucking insane.”

“Yeah, I’d be lying if I said I’m not worried about what she’d up to. Is she screwing around? Did she meet someone else? Did she realize I’m a clingy asshole and be glad to get rid of me?”

Yep. Zach knew exactly what Baz was thinking.

“But if you truly care about each other,” Zach continued, “that shit all works itself out.” Then he shrugged. “Or it doesn’t and you go your separate ways. And yeah, that sucks but, man, you’re an ass if you don’t give it the work it needs because that girl out there is the real fucking deal. She’s smart, she’s beautiful, and she actually fucking likes you, which is fucking amazing.”

Zach’s smile took the sting out of those last words but Baz knew his friend was totally right.

Tru was amazing and he didn’t want to fuck up their relationship. But they’d been dating for all of a month and maybe she just didn’t feel the same way about him.

Hell, she hadn’t said she loved him and he’d thrown it out there like he said it all the time to everyone he met. Maybe she just didn’t believe him. Or maybe she didn’t feel the same. Maybe he was just another notch on her bedpost.

Maybe he just needed to fight a little harder for her.

Baz sighed. There was one thing he knew for certain. “She’s definitely amazing.”

“Yep. And you’re not so bad yourself, man.”

Baz couldn’t help himself. “You just wanna do me. I know you’ve got a crush on me. Just admit it.”

Zach’s laugh was a huge sound, which fit the man perfectly. “First off, you ain’t got the right parts. And second, you’re not as pretty as Nik so if I got hard up, he’d be my first choice, dude, not you.”

*   *   *

“Trudeau, Cory Shirk is here to see you. Can I send him back?”

For a second, Tru had no idea how to respond to Jess. She hadn’t been expecting Cory, and she had no idea what he was doing here. Unless it had something to do with the deal he was working on with Greg.

But then she remembered Greg had a meeting with the police department’s public relations deputy secretary.

“Sure, Jess. Send him back.”

Her immediate response was to check herself in a mirror or any reflective surface to make sure she looked okay. Which was ridiculous. She knew she looked decent enough to meet a man who was here on business. Just because they’d had one, unimpressive date didn’t mean she had to freak out.

And she wasn’t. Seriously. The fact that her heart was now pounding a mile a minute didn’t mean a damn thing.

And the fact that, when he walked into her office looking like he’d just stepped off a GQ photo shoot, auburn hair slightly mussed and blue eyes glittering, her lungs maybe did a little hitch, well . . . it didn’t mean a damn thing.

Yeah, it only means you’re one screwed-up chick.

“Hi, Cory. It’s nice to see you again.”

She stood and held out her hand, which he took with a slightly crooked smile. And if he held on a little longer than necessary and she didn’t make a fuss, well, it wasn’t like she was married. Or dead.

“Tru. Thanks for taking a few minutes for me.”

“No problem. What can I do for you?”

“I had a few more questions for Greg but he’s out so I thought I’d say hello.”

“I’m glad you did. I hope you’ve made up your mind to become an investor.”

He laughed, a deep rumble of sound that should’ve made her shiver with desire.

And didn’t. Despite the fact that she still found him one of the most attractive men she’d ever met.

“Greg did say you were dedicated to your job.”

She grimaced, though she tried to make it more of a rueful smile. “Guilty as charged. Sorry, I shouldn’t have jumped on you the minute you walked into my office.”

“No worries, Tru. And truth be told, I’m still hoping someday you might.”

Her cheeks flushed a bright red as he continued.

“I’m not a man who gives up easily, and I realized that about two seconds after I left you that night. So yes, I’m here with an ulterior motive. I did want to speak to Greg but I wanted to see you, as well.”

“And here I am. What did you want to see me about?”

Cory leaned back into the chair on the other side of her desk, looking as confident as a man who’d never had a woman say no to him. He probably wasn’t at all used to women shutting him down.

Which didn’t make him a douche. It simply made him that much more determined.

And when Sebastian leaves . . .

“I’m hoping you’ll consider a second date. Let me take you out again. I can’t help but think we didn’t really get off on the right foot. So I’d like to try again.”

She had to admit, the fact that Cory was here felt like the biggest confidence boost she could imagine. He’d sought her out.

Could she actually be thinking about going out with this man when she planned to go home tonight with another man and sleep with him? If Baz actually showed up. Last night he hadn’t left the studio. That had happened a few other times over the past three weeks.

Which forced her to confront the fact that she needed to make a decision one way or the other. Break up with Sebastian before he left her behind, or make the commitment to stick with him and see where their relationship went.

“I’m sorry, Cory. I’m not free to say yes to you at the moment.”

One eyebrow rose as he leaned forward in his chair. “That sounds like you might be in the near future.”

Just the thought made her stomach roll. “Since I have no idea what’s going to happen in my life in the next few months, I can’t say that. I’m really flattered that you’re here. I just don’t have any idea what my life’s going to look like in a month. Or even two or three months. I just . . . can’t give you the answer you want right now.”

If she thought he’d be angry or huffy, she couldn’t have been more wrong. He smiled, as if she hadn’t just turned him down. Again.

“Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” He rose from the chair, and she stood, too. Which just meant she had to look up at him. Everything about him was appealing. Every damn little thing.

So why couldn’t she want him like she wanted Sebastian?

“I’m a patient guy, Tru. Ask anyone who knows me.” He walked to the door, then stopped to turn and smile at her again. “Tell Greg I’ll come by to see him another time, would you? And it was really nice to see you again. I look forward to the next time.”

*   *   *

Nothing good ever came from eavesdropping.

Baz practically heard his mom’s voice in his head as he stood outside Tru’s office door, listening to Cory fucking Shirk try to pick up Tru.

He’d probably missed a few points of the conversation because of the furious pounding in his ears but he’d heard enough to know the bastard was trying to convince her to go out with him again.

What made his heart hurt was the fact that she didn’t give the other guy a flat-out no.

What the hell did that mean?

Was he the only one with his emotions invested in this relationship? Was he seeing something with Tru that wasn’t really there?

Fuck.

He had to get out of here before Shirk left her office and Tru found him out here listening in to their conversation.

Tonight, he’d find out how she felt about him. He’d ask her if she returned his feelings.

And if she doesn’t?

Shit, he couldn’t even really think about that because it made him want to stomp into her office and kiss her in front of Shirk, hard enough to let the other guy know she was taken.

But was she?

She’s never said she loves you.

Turning, he headed back to the studio, his heart in his throat.

Jesus, he felt like a sap.

“Baz. Hey, Baz, wait up.”

His hand on the door to the studio, Baz turned to find Nik nearly plastered against his back. How the hell had Nik snuck up on him like that?

Nik’s gaze pierced straight to Baz’s and held. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “Nothing. What’s up?”

Nik didn’t look like he was going to let him off the hook. There was a time he wouldn’t have let up until he knew exactly what Baz was thinking.

Now his eyes narrowed until they were only a glint of ice blue. Then he took a breath and released it on a sigh.

“I talked to Tom. We’ve got a release date in July which means we have to have the album finished by end of May.”

“You know that’s not gonna be a problem. We’ve got enough material for two albums and we’ve only got one more song to record and we can get that done today.” At least he’d been counting on getting it done today so he could spend some time with Tru. “We all know this is some of the best work we’ve ever done. We’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Are you trying to reassure yourself or me?”

“What do you mean?”

Nik sighed hard. “Never mind. Fuck it. I’ve got a track to record.”

Nik went to push past him but Baz grabbed his arm, determined to get to the bottom of this. “Nikky, what the fuck is going on?”

Nik didn’t pull away. He looked at Baz’s hand on his arm, then looked up into Baz’s eyes. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit. Damn it. Come on, tell me—”

“Baz.” Nik’s voice was lethally sharp. “Let it go for now. Seriously. Let me get these vocal tracks finished. Then we’ll talk. I promise.”

Baz wanted to press, wanted to shake whatever the fuck was going on with Nik out of him. Then again, maybe he didn’t want to know. That damn kiss still hung between them even if they’d agreed not to talk about it. And maybe that was for the best.

When did you start sticking your head in your ass?

He kept his hand on Nik’s arm. “No more bullshit. You and me, we gotta figure this shit out. We’ve gotta be back on the same wavelength. When you and I are onstage, we’ve gotta be a united front. What the hell happened between us? Do you know? Because I don’t have the first fucking clue and I wish to hell you’d tell me.”

“Fine. You want me to tell you what happened? You nearly fucking died.” His voice rose but wasn’t quite at screaming level yet. “And I didn’t know until months later. You’ve been the only person in my life I’ve ever been able to count on. Do you know that? Do you know what that means to me? I’m not sure you do. And I don’t think you ever will.”

Shit, this was bad. “I do know that. And I’m not going anywhere. You gotta trust that.”

Nik shook his head. “I trust you, Baz. I’m just not sure we can ever be the way we were. You’ve got yourself back on track and that’s great. It’s amazing and I’m happy for you. Tru’s great. The music you made for Greg’s film is fucking incredible. I’ve never heard anything like it. But we can’t go back and be like it was before. Everything dies, right?”

Nik idolized Springsteen and Baz knew exactly why he’d used that lyric from “Atlantic City.” Because the rest of that line held out hope.

“Yeah. But everything comes back. Right?”

“Yeah. I guess.” He shrugged. “I gotta figure some shit out on my own but everything’ll be okay. Eventually.”

It’s what Baz had always told Nik when things had gotten bad when they were kids. Baz had always promised Nik they’d be fine if they just stuck together. And Baz had broken that promise.

First, by almost dying of an overdose. And now there was Tru . . .

Shit. Was that part of this?

He seriously hoped not. Because he wasn’t giving her up.