Текст книги "Chaser"

Автор книги: Staci Hart

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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

Patrick and I shared a look, nodding as Shelby came around to get us another round, and our conversation turned to lighter topics, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Patrick knew the feeling West described all too well, though he was even more familiar with the loss of it. And me? I realized distantly that I had an idea of what he meant myself.

POSITIONS

Maggie

THE NEXT AFTERNOON, I TROTTED up the stairs with a smile that wouldn’t be stopped and blew through the front door of our apartment to find Rose at the table eating a bagel in her pajamas.

She lit up when she saw me. “How did it go?” she asked hopefully.

I closed the door behind me. “I got the job!” I sang.

She threw her hands up and wiggled her fingers, smiling. “Oh, my God! Congrats, Maggie! Details.”

I sat next to her and leaned on the table. “I was so excited – that job was at the top of my list, so I was super nervous. But the second the interview started, I was fine. The more we talked, the better I felt about it. Such a great fit. And they need someone to start immediately. She offered me the job on the spot, can you believe it? I start tomorrow!” I was so giddy, I almost felt like I was high.

“This is so amazing.”

“I know!” I gushed. “I feel like I could run around doing the Flashdance right now.” I let out a sigh. “I’m also really happy to actually have something productive to do. It’s been a minute. Like, since the wedding.”

Rose nodded as she took a bite. “It’s gonna be great, Maggie. I bet you’re so good with kids. Not like me. I make babies cry.”

I laughed. “No, you don’t.”

“I totally do. Kids hate me. I think I’m scary and awkward with kids, like I expect them to burst into tears or explode or something. You, on the other hand, look like an adorable Disney character.”

I shook my head and chuckled. “I’ll believe babies are scared of you when I see it.”

“You’ll laugh at me when you see it, but that’s all right too.” She set down her breakfast and wiped her fingers on her napkin. “So you start tomorrow? That’s so soon.”

“I’ve got to start working on my lesson plans tonight, and tomorrow I’m getting a tour of the facility and working with the director on my lesson plans. Plus, it’s not like I have anything else to do.”

“Only Mr. M.” She waggled her brows and picked up her coffee.

I laughed. “Yes, only him. But I’ll still have plenty of time for him to tickle my fancy, even with a job.”

Rose smiled. “We should definitely celebrate tonight. We can get everyone together and go to Habits, yeah?”

“Do you work?”

“Nope, I’m off again.”

“You sure you want to go to work on your day off?”

She shrugged. “It’s my home away from home. Plus, I didn’t go in yesterday and had a pajama binge. My mascara’s calling me.”

My phone buzzed in my bag, and I reached into its depths, digging around before my fingers closed over it. I had a text from Mr. M.

How did it go?

I texted back, smiling. Nailed it. They offered me a position!

I knew they would. Can I offer you a position? You know, to celebrate.

My smile stretched wider. I will accept all celebratory positions. After Habits tonight – we’re going to have drinks if you want to come.

I always want to come.

I giggled, and Rose watched me with an eyebrow up. I guess I asked for that.

I’ll see you at Habits tonight. Wear those purple panties, the ones with the black lace. We’ll go to my place after.

I bit my lip. Anything you want.

I love the sound of that. 

My cheeks were hot as I set my phone face down on the table.

Rose shook her head. “You’ve got it bad.”

My blush deepened. “It’s nothing. We’re just hooking up.”

“Mmhmm. Sure.”

My brow bent, and I crossed my arms. “I’m so tired of explaining this to everyone. It’s like none of you trust me to handle my own decisions. Do you have any idea how frustrating that is?”

“I know. We’re just worried about you is all.”

“Well, I’m not blind.”

“Do you really think you can keep your feelings out of it?”

“I have been so far.”

“But you like him?” she prompted.

“I like him, and he rocks my ladybits.”

“And he likes you?”

“He seems to. Sometimes he just … I don’t know. He looks at me and I feel like he sees me. But Rose – he is seriously the worst idea ever. If you knew him, you would lose your shit and tell me I’m making a terrible mistake, and that’s exactly why I agree. Getting involved would be a mistake.”

“I mean, as long as you’ve got it under control.”

“Whatever that is.” I sighed and spun my phone around on the table absently. “Moving here was a clean start, all right. I can pretend nothing before I moved here ever happened. Like it was all a bad dream, or fiction. The story of a girl I used to know. Do you know what I mean?”

Rose’s eyes were bright and open. “I do. Do you think about Jimmy a lot?”

“I think I’m somewhere between hurt and denial. Like, sometimes I’ll see something or think of something I want to share with him before I remember what he did. The rest of the time, I just pretend like he doesn’t exist. I don’t quite know how to face it, and I wonder if I ever will.”

“Facing it is probably inevitable. Something will happen, and the pressure valve will blow. It happens to the best of us, especially those of us who avoid, and it’s never pretty.”

I nodded, trying to imagine what would happen and dreading it. “It’s gonna be bad, Rose.”

“Probably. But you’ve always got us.”

She smiled at me and picked up her bagel. I found comfort in knowing that it was true – Rose and Lily would be there if I fell apart. And I hung on to the hope that maybe, just maybe, enough time would pass that it would fade away into my past without enduring any more pain.

Cooper

Habits was packed for a Monday, and the drinks had been flowing for long enough that everyone was rosy-cheeked and laughing. Everyone had shuffled around to talk, leaving Maggie and me on the edge of the group, pretending to ignore each other.

Astrid hooked her arm in Maggie’s and smiled, bringing a joke home with a punchline that had the girls all laughing. Astrid had gone way out of her way to talk to Maggie all night, hanging near her. I’d caught them nearly whispering to each other, Maggie nodding, Astrid with her hand on Maggie’s arm, the two of them smiling. Between their truce and my cell phone purge, I hoped she wouldn’t worry so much anymore.

I just wanted her to believe me. The thought that she didn’t drove me crazy.

Something else that drove me crazy: the fact that almost every man in the bar was watching her.

There was one in particular, at a high table with his friends, almost directly in my line of sight. I watched him talk to his friends, the three of them eyeing the group, and I knew he was going to try to talk to her at some point. I caught his eye once and held it, hoping it was enough to keep him away. But I knew the chance was slim. There was no indicator that we were together – Maggie and I hadn’t touched, had barely looked at each other, even though she was all I could think about.

I’d been almost silent all night. Everyone else was too drunk to notice, thankfully. But Maggie knew, and she knew why. And I knew she felt the same.

I was ready to drag her out of the bar the first minute I saw her. Her dress was simple – short, soft peach and loose with small lace detailing. The thin straps left much of her back exposed, the creamy skin begging to be touched, low enough to know she wasn’t wearing a bra.

The knowledge didn’t help my efforts to keep my hands off of her.

Her admirer stood up, and my eyes narrowed as he wove around everyone with his eyes on Maggie. I took a long sip of scotch and leaned back against the bar with my jaw ticking.

He was about my height and build, with blond hair and tan skin. A decent looking guy, so naturally, I wanted to hit him. He stopped next to her, and I resisted the urge to step between them.

I couldn’t quite hear what he was saying, which somehow made it even more unbearable. When she laughed at something he said, I almost lost my shit. Astrid’s eyes laughed as they bounced between Maggie, the intruder and me. I broke my gaze to glance at West, whose jaw was set as he watched.

She touched his shoulder, and I slammed my drink. Everyone else in the group was still talking, Rose and Lily giggling about something, though Patrick was watching West.

The intruder smiled before walking away, and Astrid leaned in to whisper in Maggie’s ear. She laughed, her cheeks pink, eyes darting over to me. She nodded and whispered something back.

West seemed placated and turned back to Lily, and everyone was preoccupied again, talking amongst themselves. No one was watching us, and I couldn’t take it anymore.

Maggie pressed against me as someone squeezed behind her to get to the bar, and her fingers curled against my leg like she wanted any reason to touch me.

I turned my head like I was looking behind her. “Meet me in the bathroom. Don’t make me wait.”

I stood and set my glass on the bar behind me, hitching a thumb over my shoulder when West jerked his chin at me in question. He smiled and turned back to Lily, and I looked down at Maggie. The small curve of her lips said she’d be right behind me.

I weaved my way through the bar and into the men’s restroom to scope it out with my pulse thumping. The stalls were empty, and there was just one guy at a urinal, so I washed my hands and walked out, leaned against the wall in the hallway and waited. He left, and another guy walked back.

I put up a hand. “You may not want to go in there. It’s flooded.”

He eyed me. “That bad?”

“It looks look like somebody threw lamb vindaloo all over the walls.”

He made a face.

“Yeah. You don’t want naan of that.”

“Thanks,” he said, not even laughing at my pun before turning and leaving again.

Maggie rounded the corner a second later, and I smiled and jerked my head as I pushed the door open, laying a hand on the small of her back as we ducked into the bathroom. I grabbed her hand and pulled into the far stall, pressing her against the tiled wall in a breath, not giving her a moment to speak, needing her lips – lips I’d been thinking about every minute since I’d walked into Habits. Lips I was always thinking about.

I picked her up, keeping her back against the wall as she wrapped her legs around my waist. My hands slipped up her bare thighs to her ass, fingers splayed against the purple panties I’d ask her to wear.

She smiled up at me. I leaned back, pinning her against the wall with my hips as I lifted the hem of her dress to get a good look.

My fingers trailed up her thigh. “What did he say to you?” I rolled my hips, pressing my length against her.

Her voice was ragged. “He wanted to buy me a drink.”

I cupped her cheek and ran my thumb across her bottom lip. “And what did you say?”

“I told him I wasn’t thirsty.”

“Good.” I took her mouth, my lips crashing against hers as I slipped my tongue into her mouth, demanding her attention as my mind cycled a single word, over and over.

Mine.

The bathroom door opened, and I broke away when I heard West and Patrick.

Maggie’s eyes were wide, swollen lips gaping. I laid a finger on them, mouthing Shh before laying kisses along her jaw and neck.

West was drunk, talking too loud, going on about the ramifications of power and ambition using Macbeth as an example.

Maggie was tense against me, but I just kept kissing her, soothing her, all while my heart raced, hoping to God they were too drunk to realize they weren’t alone. Seconds later, they were washing their hands, and we heard the rise and fall of the crowd in the bar as the door closed behind them.

I kissed her hungry lips again. I thought about her talking to the intruder as I slipped my fingers in the leg of her panties and inside of her, pressing my hips against the back of my hand. Heard her laughing at what he’d said as she fumbled between our bodies for my zipper and freed me. I shifted my hips until my tip rested against the slick line of her, picturing her hand on his chest as I flexed and filled her to the hilt.

Mine.

I couldn’t breathe as I pulled out and slammed back in.

“Harder,” she breathed, and I gave her what she wanted.

My fingers gripped her thighs as I held her still, driving into her, flexing my hips until she tightened around me, her arms, her legs, her body. One thrust, then another, and she came – one more and I followed.

I held her against the wall with my body, and my hands cupped her cheeks, fingers in her hair as I covered her mouth with mine and kissed her deep.

When I broke away, she looked up at me with hot eyes. “I cannot believe we just did that,” she said with a breathy laugh. “I’ve never done anything like that before.” Her eyes widened. “And West … oh, God, Cooper.”

I thumbed her flushed cheeks. “Don’t worry about West. He’s too drunk on whiskey and Lily to notice us.”

“We shouldn’t have done this. Not here. We could have been caught so easily.”

The door opened again, and someone went about their business. I brought my lips to her ear. “You’re safe with me, Maggie.”

“Am I?” she whispered, the question loaded, and my chest ached.

So of course, I made a joke. “I’d never risk the pants that I’m the boss of.”

She stifled a laugh, and I kissed her again, hoping she could feel the truth as the door opened and closed again.

I put her feet on the ground and kissed her once more before we cleaned up quickly, and I moved to the door to check the hallway, which was clear. I motioned for her to follow.

She blew past me and down the hall, looking back over her shoulder at me with a smile before she disappeared.

I leaned against the wall again, my hands in my pockets, staring at the flyers stuck on the wall like wallpaper, layer after layer of them, trying to get a handle on the thoughts spinning through my brain.

I was jealous, I realized curiously. I was possessive of her. The feeling of ownership hadn’t left me, though it was quieter than it had been, an undercurrent instead of a tsunami. It wasn’t something I’d felt before – not at this level. And I had no idea what that meant. But until I figured it out, I’d play it cool, starting then.

And so, I put on The Smile and headed back into the bar, focusing instead on a plan to get Maggie to come home with me.

MR. M

Maggie

MY HEART CHUGGED LIKE A freight train as I walked through the bar and back to our friends, feeling like a sexy-ass criminal. Who knew sex in a public restroom could be so hot? And Cooper jealous? I mean, if that hadn’t set off my libido, I might have thought about seeing a doctor.

Cooper was right about West – he was smiling with Lily in his arms, completely oblivious. Rose and Patrick laughed as Astrid told a story, and I sidled in, catching the tail end of it. I laughed when they laughed, half listening, my body still humming from Cooper.

He was beside me again a minute later, and I had to stop myself from looking at him. He brushed against me to take a seat, sending a shock through me.

I glanced at Lily, who stared at me with her brow quirked. She looked at Cooper, then at me once more, and her smile slowly fell, eyes widening.

I watched it all click like detonators going off behind her eyes, and I silently begged her not to say anything.

She threw on a fake smile and looked up at West, turning him so his back was to us.

I glanced over at Cooper, and he met my eyes. And in that moment, I decided.

I was officially the queen of bad decisions.

I didn’t know what to do, standing between Cooper and my brother, amongst my friends who I’d been lying to. Lying over a guy who I couldn’t have, who I shouldn’t want.

There was only one thing to do. I had to get the hell out of there.

I smiled. “Hey, y’all – I’m gonna head out.”

Rose and Astrid whined and pouted.

“I know, I know. But it’s late, and I’ve got a big day tomorrow. If I go in hungover and tired, I’ll never make a good impression.”

The girls conceded and gave me hugs, and West patted my head like I was a puppy, wishing me luck. Cooper gave me a long, lingering look, and Lily whispered something into West’s ear. He smiled like an idiot and blushed a little, giving her a quick kiss.

“I’m out too, guys. Gotta be up early in the morning. I’ll walk you home, Mags.” She turned to me and grabbed my arm, hauling me out of Habits under the guise of a smile and a wave at our friends.

The second we hit the sidewalk, she spun around and let me have it. “Oh my fucking God, Maggie. Tell me that Mr. M is not Cooper. Please. Please, please, please.” Her eyes pinched closed.

I bit my lip.

She cracked her lids. “Please?”

“I’m sorry, Lily.”

She groaned and dropped her head back before taking a deep breath and letting it out slow. “Please tell me how the fuck this happened. From the beginning.” She hooked her arm in mine, and we started walking toward our building.

I took a deep breath of my own. I hadn’t told anyone besides Brooke, not a single soul. “Well, it all started on my wedding night.”

She stopped dead, and I stumbled backward. “What?” Her eyes bugged.

I blushed. “God, don’t make me say it again.”

“Are you serious?” She looked me over. “Oh, my God. You’re serious.”

I had no idea how to explain myself. “I don’t know how it happened. I was just so …”

Lily shook her head, fuming. “That son of a bitch took advantage of you. West is going to kill him.”

I shook my head, blustering. “No. Really, Lily – he didn’t take advantage. I wanted him. I needed him that night. I swear to you that he didn’t have to convince me of anything. He promised me nothing. But if West finds out … well, West can’t find out.”

Lily ran a hand across her forehead. “No, you’re right about that. I refuse to date a criminal.” She sighed again, the sound heavy, and we started walking again. “Come on. We have an hour before West comes home, and you’re about to tell me everything. If I’m going to keep this from him, there better be a damn good reason. And you’d better convince me that Cooper’s not using you, because if he is, I’m telling West tonight, consequences be damned.”

I nodded as we walked past the pizza counter. The smell normally made me salivate, but tonight, it only turned my stomach.

She watched me. “Do you need liquor or are you ready to spill the details?”

“Just promise me liquor at home and I’ll start now.”

“Deal. Start at the beginning. I think I can handle it this time.”

I thought back to that night, the first night, my worst night. “Do you have any idea how hard the reception was, Lily?” I asked softly.

She turned to look me in the eye. “I can’t even begin to imagine.”

“I was okay for a lot of it, just smiling through, you know? Don’t get me wrong – I wanted to have the reception – really. I felt like I needed it. Like I just wanted to throw that party and wear that dress and give Jimmy the big fuck-you. It was a good thing. But it was hard, Lily. It was so hard. And there was this moment when everyone else disappeared and I was alone for the first time since everything had fallen apart. I wasn’t ready for that, to deal with that. I was scared, and I was alone, and Cooper was right there.”

Lily didn’t say anything, so after a second, I kept going. “For that moment, in his arms, everything was fine. He was a diversion, a distraction. That night, he was everything I needed.”

“And then what happened?”

“The next morning he left, and I left, and I didn’t see him again until he picked me up at the airport.”

She paused, and I could almost hear her thinking. “Have you been together ever since?”

“Ever since Noir. Sneaking away from West and Patrick at the club wasn’t hard. Astrid left on her own. I went home with Cooper.”

“And what about Astrid? Is he banging her too?” Her voice was tight. “I never know what’s going on with the two of them, and neither of them will talk about it.”

“He says he’s not.”

“And you believe him? If he’s stepping out on my sister for West’s sister—”

“Lily, I believe him,” I said earnestly. “Astrid is seeing someone else, but it’s a secret … he’s, like, anti-media, so she and Cooper ‘date’ just as a cover so everyone would leave them alone.”

Lily frowned. “But why wouldn’t she have told me?”

“Sam is just so private, and apparently Astrid is really afraid she’ll lose him if anyone finds out. Even you.”

“I’m talking to her about this. I just don’t know if I believe it.”

“I’ve been having a hard time with it too. But I believe both of them,” I said as we reached our building. It was the truth.

Lily pulled open the door. “I don’t even know what to say, Maggie. I mean … Cooper? I don’t think he’s ever had a serious relationship, and he’s slept with every eligible woman in Manhattan – and most of Brooklyn. He’s literally the opposite of boyfriend material.”

We stepped inside and climbed the stairs. “Which is why I don’t consider him my boyfriend.”

“Cooper is Mr. M,” she said half to herself. “You’re having a no-strings affair with Cooper Moore. It seemed so much more relatable when it wasn’t him. But I guess if there was one man who it might be safe to say feelings wouldn’t be involved, it would be Cooper.”

“I have fun with him. It’s easy, aside from the whole sneaking around thing. He’s amazing in bed.”

She snickered as she dug in her bag for her keys. “I can’t say I’m surprised, but ugh. Is he really not seeing anyone else? I don’t think I’ve ever known him to only see one woman for any period of time, even Astrid. I mean, we all figured he was running around, but the fact that it’s you is just crazy.”

“I really don’t think he is. Lily – he deleted all of his hookup contacts the other day.”

She stopped in the hallway with her hand frozen in her bag. “No way.”

“I know. And he did it smiling, like it was no big deal at all.”

Lily blinked and shook her head, moving to unlock the door. “What in the world? Is this like a sign of the end times? Are we going to wake up tomorrow to zombie flu and flaming meteors?”

I chuckled and stepped into the apartment behind her. “He was trying to prove a point – that he was honoring the rules.”

“Ah, the rules.” She turned on the light and tossed her keys in the dish.

“I know everyone thinks they’re dumb, but they make me feel safe.”

She nodded, though I suspected she was keeping something to herself.

“There are only two weeks left before it’s over, but in the meantime, it’s a one day at a time kind of thing. I’m always free. He’s always free. I’m lonely, and so is he. So we keep each other company. It’s not all that complicated.”

Lily shot me a look as she walked into the kitchen. “Except for West.”

“Yes,” I conceded. “Except for West.”

Lily collected supplies for gin and tonics and set them on the table. “I just can’t believe that Cooper would do this to West, you know? That he would risk his friendship for a fling.”

I took a seat, feeling a hundred years old. “We’re not doing it to hurt West.”

“That doesn’t mean it wouldn’t still hurt him if he found out.”

“It’s another reason for the rules. Easier to hide it if it’s brief, you know?”

She shook her head and poured us each a drink. “I really don’t know what he would do. I don’t like to think he would turn his back on Cooper, but I can’t say that’s not a real possibility. He’d be hurt, Maggie. Really hurt. Like, ultimate betrayal of the bro code. Especially if it’s just for sport. But, if you two were serious …”

I picked up my glass and took a long drink. “I don’t have it in me to be serious about anyone right now. I need somebody, and Cooper is safe … ish.”

Lily guffed.

“No, but really. He’s familiar. I know him well enough to know what to expect. I know he’ll be careful with me because he loves West. It’s safer than Tinder, anyway.”

“Maybe.”

I gave her a look.

She rolled her eyes. “All right. Marginally.”

I looked down at my drink. “It just feels good to forget.”

Lily shook her head and took a drink. “I just cannot believe Mr. M is Cooper.” She sat up straighter. “Wait – tonight, when you both disappeared, did you …”

My cheeks were on fire. “Yeah. In the bathroom. West came in.”

Her jaw was on the table. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

I dropped my head to my hands. “I know, Lily. I know! So, so stupid.”

“You cannot do that again. And you can’t hook up over here, either.”

I looked up at her, hopeful. “Does that mean you’re not going to tell West?”

She sighed, not looking happy about it. “No, I won’t tell him.” She picked up her drink. “This sucks.”

“I’m sorry, Lily. I didn’t want to drag you into this. But can I just tell you how relieved I am that you know? It’s been so hard, keeping it a secret.”

“No one knows?”

“Only you, Astrid, and my friend from back home, Brooke.”

She watched me for a beat. “West is going to figure it out. You’re his sister, and Cooper is his best friend. I saw you two together, and it was just so obvious all of a sudden that something was going on. The look on your face and his – it was written all over both of you. You’ve got to figure something out.”

I chewed my lip. “There’s nothing to figure out. It’ll be over soon. Don’t you think we can keep it a secret until it’s over?”

“If you quit banging all over the place, maybe.”

“Obviously. Two weeks. That’s it.” I looked down at my gin and swirled it around in my glass.

She watched me. “You look a little sad about that for this being ‘easy’ and ‘no big deal.’”

It was the truth, though, and I knew it. I didn’t really want it to end, even though I knew it was exactly what it had to do. “He’s the one little bright spot in my life, and he’s so bright that I almost can’t see any of the bad.”

“Why not date?”

I cackled. “Date? Cooper Moore? I mean, really, Lily. His last name literally means excess.”

“I think it refers to a geographical feature—”

I gave her a flat look.

“—but I get your meaning.”

I shook my head. “Cooper is like the chaser you slam after a shot of cheap vodka. He’s there to wash the taste away after the pain.” I didn’t know how much I believed it, even though that was what I’d been telling myself for weeks. “Anyway, you even just said he’s the opposite of boyfriend material.”

She shrugged. “I’m just wondering if there’s more to it than that.”

“Regardless, I’m sure West would be pleased as punch if I dated Cooper.”

“He’d be happier with a relationship than you guys just banging for fun, I’ll tell you that for sure.”

But I shook my head and dug in my heels. “I can’t date. I can’t. I’m not ready for that. Not to be serious. And not with Cooper. How could he be serious about me when he doesn’t take anything seriously? I did that once, Lily. I did it once, and I will never, ever do it again. I don’t want to fall in love. I don’t want to date. I don’t want expectations from Cooper, and I don’t want to expect anything from him, either.”

She reached for my hand on the table and squeezed it. “I get it. I’m sorry, Maggie.”

I squeezed her fingers back. “It’s not your fault that I have a type.”

She gave me a comforting smile. “True. If things were different, do you think it could be more?”

“You mean if I weren’t emotionally crippled, if Cooper weren’t a slacker, and if West wouldn’t club Cooper?”

She chuckled and picked up her drink. “Yes.”

I sighed and picked mine up too. “Who knows. None of it’s clear to me.” I took a sip. “Growing up is dumb.”

“The worst.”

“Let’s just make a blanket fort and hang out in there indefinitely.”

She raised her glass. “If there are bacon burgers, I’m in.”

“Bacon burgers and french fries and gin. And ice cream.” My phone vibrated in my purse on the table, and I dug around for it.

Lily’s brow rose. “That’s like the third time that’s gone off.”

It was Cooper. I sighed as I glanced at his messages. “He wants to know if I’m okay.”

“Well,” she said as she stood, “I’ll leave you to it. I’m going to head to West’s.”

I looked up at her, hating that I’d dragged her into the mess. “I’m sorry to ask you to keep this secret.”

“I get the necessity. Trust me. I don’t know if I can lie to him if he asks me outright, though. And I can’t save either of you if he finds out.”

“I know. Do what you have to do. But I swear, you won’t have to hide it from him because Cooper and I will just go underground. No more hanging out with everyone, no more being reckless. And if things get hairy, I promise, I’ll end it. I don’t want to put you out any worse than I already have.”

She looked comforted by that. “All right. And I’ve got your back while I can.”

“Thank you.” I gave her a smile.

“You’re welcome. Now go message pretty boy before he loses his mind.” She bent to give me a hug, saying softly, “It’ll be okay, Maggie.”

“I hope so.”

She pulled away. “It will. I promise. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“My big day!” I cheered.

“Your big day! And it’s going to be amazing.” She grabbed her bag and slung it on. “Sleep tight.”

“You too.”

“Oh, I will.” She leered at me.

I shooed her, laughing. “Get outta here with that.”

“Bye,” she chimed as she closed the door.

I let out a heavy sigh and picked up my phone. There were three texts from Cooper.

She knows, doesn’t she? Are you all right?

I’m so sorry. This is my fault.

Really, I didn’t expect murder from Lily. Hit me up when you can.

I texted him back. I’m all right. She definitely knows. And this isn’t your fault. Are you still at Habits?

Not if I can see you.

Can you call me?

Give me five.

I peeled myself out of the chair and cleaned up the kitchen, then dragged myself into the bathroom to wash my face, thinking about what Lily had said. Having a confidant who knew West just as well as I did was comforting. I needed real advice, someone who knew Cooper and the situation. Astrid had cleared the air, but I didn’t know if we were on the level that I could call her and talk to her about my love life.

I sighed and dried my face, then headed into our room to change into leggings and a tank before slipping into bed. I buried myself in the fluffy covers, pulling them up to my chin with a sigh, worn out from the whole ordeal.

At least I’d bought some time.

My phone rang, and I answered right away, not even caring if I looked desperate.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey.”

I want you to come over. “I don’t think I can see you tonight.”

He was quiet for a beat. “I can’t say I’m happy about that. Anything I can do to change your mind?”

I fiddled with the lace on my comforter. “Oh, just erase everything that happened to both of us before I moved here. Can you manage that?”