Текст книги "Triple Play"

Автор книги: Sloan Johnson

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

If there was one thing I’d learned from last night, it was that life’s way too fucking short for regrets. Yeah, it would have been much more entertaining to stay here last winter, fucking and getting fucked, but nothing either of us could do would change that. On the other hand, now that I knew what the man was capable of, I had every intention of exploiting his mouth again very soon.

I couldn’t bring myself to go so far as to tell Eric that I wanted to do this again, but I think he knew. We laid there together, him running his fingers through my hair as I waited for my heartbeat to slow to something more reasonable. I knew I was going to be sore when I tried to get up, but it was worth it to know I wasn’t working my way into a full-blown crush on yet another man who’d never reciprocate. The sound of someone pounding on my bedroom door interrupted me from basking in the afterglow of an amazing orgasm.

“Yeah?” I yelled, choking back a laugh as I watched Eric get to work trying to dress me once again. This time, I didn’t bother to tell him that I could manage on my own. I was beginning to see the benefit of needing help with certain tasks, especially if it led to more hot times with Eric.

“If you’re about done in there, you have company,” Jason informed me. My cheeks heated so much I was sure they were beet red. I threw my good arm over my face, mortified by the thought that I may not have been as quiet as I’d thought. If my parents had heard what was going on, I might be forced to walk down to the beach and throw myself into Lake Michigan.

“Do you think he knows?” I asked.

Eric shrugged. “Would you give a shit if he does?”

“I guess not,” I conceded. “But if he knows, then so does whoever else is out there. And I don’t know about you, but I’m not quite ready to profess my undying love and devotion.”

“Gee, you really know how to make a guy feel special,” Eric huffed. That made me remember Jason’s warning from yesterday. I reached out to Eric, hoping to ease his mind. It wasn’t that I couldn’t possibly, someday in the distant future, have feelings for someone like him, but it wasn’t going to be today, or this month, or even this year. “It’s okay Drew, I was giving you a hard time.”

“In case you haven’t heard, I’m recovering from some rather serious injuries,” I scolded him. “I’m pretty sure the doctors in charge of my care wouldn’t appreciate knowing that you have no problem trying to freak me the hell out. If my blood pressure goes up, it’s all your fault.”

This time, Eric barked out a hearty laugh as he wrapped his arm around my waist. “Babe, there’s no doubt in my mind that your blood pressure is high right now, but it’s not because of anything I said. I’m pretty sure that has everything to do with the fact that I just blew your mind in more ways than one.”

With that, Eric turned and walked out of my bedroom, leaving my mouth gaping like a fish out of water. Whatever I thought I knew about Eric Sapp, it was obvious I had a lot to learn.

Chapter 8

As soon as I saw Eric walk out of Drew’s bedroom, I knew it’d been a mistake to come back today. I’d wondered what was going on between Eric and Drew yesterday, but there was no doubt in my mind that there was more than Jason told me when Eric came out with his lips swollen and still wet. I grabbed my jacket off the back of the couch and quickly turned to the door. If I hurried, I could get out of there before Drew saw me. I’d have to explain my hasty departure to him later, but I could blame it on something coming up at the center.

“Hey, where are you going?” Jason asked as he closed the door before I could escape. I glanced over my shoulder and saw that we now had everyone in the room’s attention.

“I forgot that I have some stuff to take care of at the center,” I lied. Jason sighed and cocked his head toward the door. He followed me outside and stood in the middle of the path to the driveway.

“Cut the bullshit.” Jason crossed his arms tightly over his chest, waiting to see if I’d lie to him again. “I don’t know what the fuck you think you’re doing, but you’re not going to bail without even seeing Drew.”

“Looked to me like he won’t even notice.” I hated how petulant I sounded. “Between you, his parents, and Eric, I’m pretty sure it’s a full house already.”

“Bryce, don’t be like that.”

“Are you going to try telling me there’s nothing going on between those two?” I challenged him.

“Yeah, I am,” Jason responded firmly. “Look, I’m not going to insult you and say they weren’t fooling around, because I’m pretty sure they were. But even so, I know Eric well enough to know he’s not about to get involved with another ball player, especially one who lives so far away during the season.”

That didn’t make me feel better. I knew Drew didn’t owe me anything, but it pissed me off to know he’d practically pushed me out of the house last night and then felt well enough to do whatever he and Eric had been in there doing for the past half-hour. I was fine with casual sex, but that’s never what it’d felt like when I’d thought about Drew. Jason seemed to sense my internal struggle and draped his arm over my shoulder as he led me to the back of the property.

The wind off the lake gave a bitter chill to the air and I wished we were back inside. Jason didn’t seem to have the same issue, even though he was only wearing a lightweight Henley, compared to my insulated leather jacket. He came to an abrupt halt and sat in the grass that was still wet from an early morning rain. I stood there staring at him and finally sat when I realized he wasn’t going to give me anything else until I sat next to him.

“There’s a huge house back there and an awesome patio set, and yet you thought it’d be best to sit in the grass and freeze our asses off?” I asked. The cold was doing nothing to improve my aggravated mood.

“It’s kind of become a thing over the past few years,” he told me, staring out over the rough water. “Whenever anyone in our group is having a rough time, we come out here. Hell, there was one time when Mason and Sean were still trying to figure out where their relationship was going when they drove up here from Chicago just to talk.”

“Seems a bit extreme if you ask me.” Even though I’d spent most of my life in the same part of the country, I never had a single place I’d go whenever I needed to think. If I was being honest, I was a bit jealous that all these guys had this little bit of peace in their chaotic worlds.

“Perhaps, but it seems to do the trick.” Jason stretched his legs out in front of his body, crossing his ankles as he leaned back. If the cold or damp was affecting him at all, he didn’t show it. “Now, I’m bringing you here because I think you need to start talking.”

“Jason, I know you think you’re being a good friend, but it’s really unnecessary,” I insisted. “Drew’s a great guy, but I’ve never been the type to go after someone who’s interested in someone else.”

“Even if you know you’re the better choice?” Jason challenged.

“Who says I am?” I wasn’t accustomed to feeling insecure, and that just pissed me off even more. “He and Eric have a lot more in common. They know what they’re getting into and won’t get bitchy if they don’t see one another as often as they like. Not to mention, there’s no telling when I’ll be heading back to Portland.”

“Bullshit. I’ve known you long enough to know that you wouldn’t have even kept his number in your phone if you didn’t like him.” That was true. I’d lost count of how many times I’d gotten a guy’s phone number and deleted it from my contacts list before I’d even left the bar. Still, I meant it when I said that I’m not into playing games and I’m man enough to know when it’s time to take a step back.

I shrugged and started picking at the blades of grass next to me. My pants were already soaked through, which was going to make for a long day if Jason kept up with his plan to keep me here. “So what are you suggesting?”

This was uncharted territory for me. And as much as I hated to admit it, Jason’s words were getting to me. I knew there was something about Drew that was worth fighting for if I could get past what I’d seen.

“Get your ass back in there and act like nothing’s changed,” Jason suggested as if it were that simple. “If things were different, if Drew wasn’t hurt, I doubt you’d be ripping his clothes off him and shoving him onto the bed. You don’t operate that way when you’re looking for something that’ll last longer than an hour or two. So, you get in there and be a friend just like the rest of us.”

“And if I’m right and you’re wrong?” God, I really wasn’t liking this insecurity at all. It went against everything I stood for.

“Then you’ll figure out how to be happy for him. Look, the one thing I can tell you is that both of those guys have their own issues they’re dealing with. And not that it’ll make you feel any better, but today you’ll get to see both of them spending time with the new partners of the men they were in love with.” That was exactly what I wanted to avoid. I wasn’t in love with Drew, but I couldn’t think of anything less compelling than sitting around watching the two of them growing closer to one another while I’m relegated to the position of the third wheel on a bicycle. “If nothing else, you’ll walk out of here tonight with a few new friends.”

No longer able to take the bone-chilling cold, I pushed myself off the grass. I felt better than I had when I walked out of the house, but that had more to do with the company than the scenery. Although, yeah, there was something calming about sitting near the water watching the waves crashing against the rocks below.

I followed Jason back into the house and avoided making eye contact with anyone. I was still the outsider, and they’d all seen my jealous outburst. The only people not eying me carefully hadn’t been here when I’d walked out. Drew looked over at me and had the decency to blush and look away. That should have made me feel better, but it didn’t. It made me feel like an ass because Jason was right. Drew didn’t owe me anything, and it wasn’t his fault that he and I obviously had different ideas on what we were to one another.

I straightened my back and held my shoulders high as I crossed the room to say hello to him. I could feel everyone watching us, but I didn’t let that stop me. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

I wanted to go somewhere a bit more private to talk to him, but didn’t want him getting up if he was comfortable. It would’ve been nice if everyone else could read my mind and suddenly found somewhere else they needed to be.

“Sore as hell, but I’ll live,” he responded. He reached out to me, and I stared at his hand for a moment before realizing he wanted me to help him up. I steadied him, still ignoring the agonizing silence in the room around us. It was as though everyone knew what he’d been up to and was waiting to see how I’d react. Once he was steady on his feet, Drew pulled me in for a one-arm hug and I wrapped both of my arms around his waist, burying my face in his neck. I might be out of my mind, but for once I was going to fight for what I wanted. “Can we talk?”

The trepidation in his voice told me that he knew why I’d walked out of the house. If I wasn’t careful, he’d be the one pushing my sorry ass to the curb for causing too much drama he didn’t need. I followed Drew to his bedroom and sat next to him on the edge of the bed.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he told me. Rather than look at me, he scratched his fingernails over the fiberglass cast. “I’ll be honest, it was one of those impulsive things.”

I placed my hand on his thigh and gave it a quick squeeze. “You don’t have to apologize to me,” I assured him. “We’re not in a relationship, so you don’t owe me anything.”

“True, but you were upset.” It wasn’t a question. “If it makes you feel any better, my mom had no problem chewing me out in front of everyone for stringing you along.”

“But you’re not,” I insisted. “You and I are just friends. Sure, it’d be nice to see where things might lead between us, but you don’t owe me that.”

“I feel the same way,” he told me, shifting on the mattress so he was facing me. “What happened between me and Eric was great, but I doubt it was anything more than two guys fooling around.”

“I told you, you don’t have to explain anything to me,” I reminded him. He leaned in and I froze, debating whether or not I wanted him to finish closing the distance between us. As much as I definitely did want him, it had to wait. I needed to know what was happening so I could protect myself. I placed my hand gingerly at the center of his chest to stop him, knowing I wouldn’t be capable of halting whatever happened if I got a taste of him. “Drew, that’s not entirely true.”

Drew’s shoulders slumped forward as he retreated from me. I felt like a dick for doing this to him today, but it was the only way I could proceed.

“There is one thing you need to tell me,” I said, kneading his arm until he looked up at me. Even through the bruising, his brown eyes glimmered with the hope and resilience of youth. And God, the guy was young, but I tried not to think about that. “Tell me what you want. If you’re just looking for a good time and someone to help you unwind, that’s fine by me, but I need to know.”

Drew seemed to ponder my request for a while. He stared off to the other side of the room long enough that I almost turned to see what had captivated him so. Then, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “It’s not fair, I know, but the only honest answer I can tell you is that I have no fucking clue.”

“I think that’s very fair,” I assured him. It may not have been what I wanted to hear, but there was something refreshing about him being so open with me. “You don’t have to have the answers right now, so please don’t think this is me sitting here telling you that you have to pick him or me. It’s not.”

This time, I didn’t stop Drew when he tried to kiss me. I curled my fingers around the back of his neck and held him tightly as our lips met. His lips were softer than I’d have thought they’d be, but they were just as perfect as the rest of him. When my lips parted slightly, Drew took full advantage and slid his tongue into my mouth. It was both the most languid and most erotic kiss I’d ever had. There was no sense of urgency to move on to whatever came next. This was simply the two of us tasting and exploring one another.

My hand slid down his back and under the thin cotton of his shirt. I smiled when he shivered slightly at the contact. As his fingers fisted into my hair, keeping me from pulling away from him, I knew for certain that I had to be one of the dumbest men to ever walk the face of the earth. Drew might not be looking for love, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t feel an undeniable connection to him as his taste mingled with mine on my tongue.

There was a soft knock on the door and Drew immediately backed away. His body stiffened, as though he’d just been caught doing something he shouldn’t have. I wondered if he’d reacted the same way earlier when he and Eric were interrupted.

Rather than wait for him to offer me another excuse, I stood and started to walk away. “Bryce, please.” The desperation in his tone is what made me stop and turn back to him. “I told you I don’t know what this is and I mean it. But there is one thing I do know.”

“What’s that?” I asked, stuffing my hands in my pockets hoping he wouldn’t see them balled into tight, frustrated fists.

“I don’t want you to walk out of here thinking that kiss was a mistake.” When he smiled and reached out for me, I knew I was a goner. There was no way I was going to be able to lock my heart away for long. Eventually, I’d look back on this moment and not regret a thing because the pain of losing Drew would be worth that one single look.

I closed the distance between us and waited for Drew to stand. It was hard for me to not ask if he wanted my help, but I bit my tongue. He needed to trust that I still saw him as the fully capable yet slightly battered man that he was. He smiled again and I took that as my cue to kiss him. I buried my hands in the back pockets of his jeans and pulled his body close enough that he could feel what he did to me. “I don’t think that at all.”

It may not have been a complete truth, but it was close enough. The mistake was allowing myself to think about what it’d be like to have Drew in my life and completely to myself. Drew’s mother knocked on the door again, this time letting us know that lunch would soon be ready. I glanced down at my watch, surprised that I’d already been here for almost two hours. Apparently, time flies when you’re in the middle of losing your damn mind over shit you’ve never thought about in the past.

Drew followed me into the living room and took a seat in the recliner. Jason looked at me and I nodded, letting him know everything was fine and he wasn’t going to have to tackle me because I wasn’t going to make another break for the door.

The rest of the afternoon went off with relatively little chaos. There was a lot of talk about Cam and his trip to New York. Drew’s mom beamed as she listened to Jason tell her about his last phone call with Cam. As much as I wanted to be happy for him, my heart broke a little for Jason. I could see what he was carefully hiding from the rest of the room. It was hard for him to be separated from the man he loved, especially since there was no advance warning, from what he said. The last time he’d been through that, his lover never came home and both of us were still battling that particular demon.

Shortly after dusk, Drew’s teammates who’d stopped by to check on him started filing out. I did the same even though I’d been hoping to have more time with Drew, only because he looked about ready to pass out in his chair. There’d be time for us later.

Chapter 9

It only took four days for me to reach my breaking point with everyone hovering over me all the time. Honestly, I was surprised it’d taken that long. My mom kept asking if I needed anything, Jason was at the house every morning when I woke up, and I knew Eric had yet to sleep in his own bed since the attack. Every night, I heard him open my door when he thought I was asleep. If that went on much longer, I was going invite him in, because it was a bit creepy knowing he was standing there while I pretended to be out cold. The truth was, I hadn’t slept for shit except when I took my pain pills, which I was trying to wean myself off of before I got hooked on them.

I could hear my mom upstairs, packing as she argued with my dad about whether or not I was ready to be on my own yet. “You’ve been here every minute since he came home,” Dad pointed out. “You know full well that he’ll be anything but alone after we leave.”

I mentally fist-pumped as I listened to Dad try to assure Mom that I wouldn’t have some sort of tragic accident after they got on the road back home. I was surprised Dad lasted this long without turning back toward the farm. In my twenty-five years, I couldn’t remember a single time when he’d stayed away from his chores for more than a day.

Their suitcase thumped on the stairs as Dad carried it down to load into the car. It was a subtle reminder that Dad wasn’t getting any younger and that he wasn’t as strong as he once was. Guilt consumed me, knowing that I wouldn’t be there to help him this winter.  Some of the guys teased me for still having chores when I wasn’t busy working, but I didn’t give a shit. Farm chores provided me a natural workout while keeping me humble. Dad had no problem telling me to shovel shit, and I doubted that’d ever change.

“Do you want me to come home with you?” I offered, more out of instinct than anything else. I still hadn’t been cleared to drive, but it didn’t feel right watching him go without him knowing that I was still willing to do what I could. I’d have to take it easy for another few weeks, but there had to be something I could do one-handed.

“What? So you can both annoy the hell out of me?” Dad scoffed. He came over and placed a firm hand on my shoulder. “Son, I appreciate the offer, but you’re no good to me in the state you’re in. You need to stay here and get better. Maybe after Christmas, you’ll be healed enough that you can help me out with some repairs that need to be made before spring.”

That made me feel completely worthless, even though that hadn’t been Dad’s intention. He’d been relying on me and I let him down. I knew he didn’t see it that way, but I did. If I hadn’t listened to Jason, I’d have been sitting my happy ass at home instead of lying on the ground, bleeding when Eric found me. I was the one who made the choice to go out that night and I hadn’t even had the chance to have a good time.

“Yeah, that’ll work,” I told him. I eased myself out of the recliner to walk them to the door. I still wasn’t moving well, but at least every breath or step wasn’t making me double over in pain any longer. I gave both of my parents a hug and kiss. “Drive safe and call me when you get home.”

“Who’s the parent here?” Dad chided, giving me a quick wink. “You’re a good man. Don’t you ever forget that.”

It didn’t take a genius to know what Dad was talking about. He may be old, but he wasn’t blind. He’d seen the way I’d been torn between giving my attention to Eric and Bryce when they were both in the same room. Rather than make either of them uncomfortable, I’d pulled away from both of them until I could figure out what in the fuck was going through my head. Hopefully, I’d have a moment of clarity once the house was quiet.

And with my parents gone, it was. For the first time since Eric flew home from Seattle, I was alone in the house. It was fan-fucking-tastic. And then Mason showed up. That man had the worst timing of anyone I’d ever known. I considered not answering the door when he rang the bell, but knew he’d crawl in a window if he had to.

“Hey, I was just getting ready to take a quick nap,” I told him. Truthfully, I just wanted to sit around and enjoy the quiet, but I figured a nap would be more likely to get Mason to leave. And yeah, I felt like a jerk because he’d never been anything other than an awesome friend, but I wanted to be alone. Without anyone bugging me. At all. For at least the next few hours.

“Oh, well I told Eric I’d swing by to see if you needed anything,” he told me. At least he didn’t try to make some bullshit excuse. “I’m guessing you’re all good.”

I looked around the house and then held out my arms as if to make sure I was still in one piece. “Yep, nothing amiss here,” I responded sarcastically. “Unless, of course, there’s a chunk missing out of my arm and I don’t know it because of the cast.”

“Quit being a jackass,” Mason scolded me. He walked around me and directly into the kitchen, where he started pulling out an assortment of lunch meat and cheese. Even though it hadn’t been long since Mom made breakfast, I eyed his sandwich as if I hadn’t eaten in days. “You want one?”

“Yeah, that’d be awesome,” I responded meekly. Not two minutes after telling him I didn’t need anything, the man was making me a sandwich. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. I think Sean’s trying to convince Eric to let me come over and sit with you every day when they’re working out, just so I can eat his food instead of ours.” That wouldn’t surprise me, since Mason ate more than just about anyone I knew. If he was awake, it wouldn’t be more than an hour before he was shoveling more food into his face. And he was still just as fit as the rest of us. Good genetics sucked when they weren’t yours.

Mason grabbed two bottles of water and balanced the two plates in his other hand. He handed mine over before taking a seat on the couch. Checking the time, I knew it wouldn’t be long before Jason, Eric, and Sean were done working out. My solitude was over almost as soon as it began. “Where’s the kid?”

It was weird seeing Mason without Asher. Since he’d quit playing, and subsequently given up the opportunity he’d been given to write for a sports website, the two of them were nearly inseparable. It was actually pretty fucking awesome to see how devoted he was to his son’s life. Asher might not have a conventional family, but he had more people who loved him than most kids could ever dream of having.

“Sean’s mom came into town and wanted to spend some time with him,” Mason said. He didn’t seem entirely pleased by that development, but I knew from talking to Sean that he was trying to make amends with his mom now that his parents were going through a bitter divorce. Apparently, she didn’t like being told to ostracize two of her children because they couldn’t live up to her future ex-husband’s high standards. Every time he and I talked about how difficult it was for him to forget about the past, I felt grateful to have two parents who loved and accepted me for who I am. “The past two times went well, so I decided to ask her if she’d mind watching him. I know you’re tired of always having people running through the house, so I figured I’d be a good man and fly solo today.”

“Way to make me sound like the asshole,” I grumbled. “And be honest, doesn’t it feel good to be able to get away and be an adult for once?” I couldn’t imagine having someone so dependent on me for everything. And it had to be even harder now that Asher was walking around and trying to get into every fucking thing he could.

Mason shrugged. “It’s not as bad as you’d think. He’s my little buddy. Although, I’m going to go broke if Sean keeps making me put a dollar in that fucking jar every time I swear around Ash.”

And that was the end of the conversation. Mason and I hadn’t spent much time together, so other than mundane shit, I had no clue what to say to him. We wound up sitting around watching movies until the front door opened and three sweaty guys barreled into the house.

I closed my eyes and listened to the three of them talk about their workout, wishing it was time for the doctors to clear me to do something. I was supposed to be with them, but instead I was sitting around doing nothing, letting the atrophy set in on my muscles a bit every day. Eric startled me when he stood behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder. “You doing good?”

That seemed to be a step up from ”Are you okay?” which was a question I could easily go the rest of my life without hearing again. I looked up at him and smiled as I nodded. I couldn’t speak around the lump in my throat, once again wishing I wasn’t so fucked up. Eric made me wish for things I’d never missed before. He made me wish he was asking me as his lover, not his roommate.

“I’m going to grab a quick shower,” he informed me, his voice low enough that only I could hear. “After that, I was thinking we might order in pizza and throw some darts in the basement. You up for it?”

“Yeah, that’d be good.” Thank God it wasn’t my throwing arm that was broken. It was such a small gesture, but Eric was subtly telling me that the time of being coddled was over now that my parents had gone home. I was nothing more than Drew, his sometimes moody friend. His fucking friend.

As I watched Eric disappear down the hall, I made the decision that it was okay to play the field a bit. I didn’t need to make a decision about which of them I’d rather spend time with. As long as everyone knew what was going on, it was fine. And if either of them had an issue with that, then it’d make my decision that much easier. Now, I just had to work up the balls to actually do something about it.

Three hours later, we were all in the basement and I was the only man left sober. Sean hadn’t had too much since he’d offered to let Mason take the night off from being a responsible adult, but even he was somewhat buzzed. It was the first time since that night when everyone seemed to be having a good time and not worrying about anything. Then, Mason had to go and toss a bucket of water on the good mood.

“I have to say, I’m surprised Cam hasn’t come home,” he said bluntly during a lull in the conversation. That was normally the great thing about guys: we didn’t always have to be talking. Well, most of us didn’t; Mason still seemed to think silence was a sign of problems.

“He said the next time I heard from him would probably be when he got cut from the show,” Jason responded. I missed Cam, wished like hell he was here to give me some advice, but I was so fucking proud of him for finally chasing after his dream. He’d claimed going to culinary school had been all he’d thought about, but I knew better. I remembered the way he’d always want to sit down with my mom and watch the Bon Vivant Network every time he came over to our house. Eventually, I gave up trying to get him to do something “normal” teenage boys did and went out to the barn to find my dad. It was my little way of giving Cam a slice of a normal life with people who didn’t see him as an obligation.

“Yeah, but I would’ve thought he’d come running back when he heard about what happened to Drew.” Mason jumped back when Sean went to punch him in the arm, only to crash into Eric’s chest. Unfortunately for Mason, Eric held him so Sean could take his shot. “Ouch! That hurt, you fuckers!”

“Good,” Eric and Sean said in unison. It seemed my injuries had gone from the only thing everyone could talk about to a taboo subject, but Mason and I hadn’t received that particular memo.

“He doesn’t know,” I told Mason when it became apparent no one else would say anything. I appreciated them wanting to treat me as if nothing had changed, but it had. There was no way I could go back in time and make it so I hadn’t been beaten.

“How can he not know? It’s been all over the news.” Mason scratched his head as he mumbled something I couldn’t understand.

“When I talked to him the night of the auditions, he said they were taking all of their phones and they wouldn’t have access to TV or Internet,” Jason chimed in. “The only thing that exists in his world right now is the show, and that’s exactly how it should be.”

Mason whistled long and low. “Damn, you know that’s going to piss him off when he finds out.”