Текст книги "Triple Play"

Автор книги: Sloan Johnson

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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

“True, but like you said, he’d have thrown it all away to come home and make sure I was okay,” I responded. My knee was starting to bother me, so I walked over to the leather sectional and sat down. Mason followed while the rest of the guys kept playing.

“How can you do that? I can’t imagine not telling Sean if something happened to me, even before we were a couple. Cam’s your person.”

“My person? I think you’ve been watching too much Grey’s on Netflix,” I teased him. He quirked an eyebrow, as if to challenge me because I understood the reference. “Fine, so he’s my person. Now, tell me this... If something had happened to you and Sean had been in the middle of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, would you have told him?”

Mason seemed to think on that a bit. “And remember, you know that he’d come rushing home to take care of you, even though it’s not his job,” I prodded when no answer came. “He’d lose out on his dream and it’d be on your shoulders.”

“Fine, I see your point,” Mason finally conceded. “But I’m telling you, I won’t be around when he gets home and finds out. He’s going to go seriously bitchy diva on your ass. You’ll be lucky if you don’t wind up back in the hospital.”

“Won’t be the first time I pissed him off and I highly doubt it’ll be the last,” I deadpanned. Cam and I had been friends since we were kids. I knew all of his secrets and he knew all of mine. Well, all of them except the recent dream I hadn’t been able to shake from my mind.

I hadn’t given it much thought at the time. I’d actually played it off as a combination of my confusion combined with pain killers. I’d thought about what it’d be like to not have to choose between Eric and Bryce. I’d dreamed of coming home to both of them, seeing them making out on the couch and me joining in the fun. Both Eric and Bryce had a bit of the bad boy look going for them and the image of them together was fucking hot as hell. Unfortunately, that was the type of shit that only happened in cheesy porn.

“Hey, you okay there?” I shook my head as Mason stared at me. I quickly glanced down to make sure my daydreaming hadn’t caused any issues to arise.

“Yeah, I think I might have overdone it today,” I said, hoping it’d be a plausible excuse. “I’m going to head upstairs.”

Eric stopped me at the bottom of the steps. “You okay? Don’t let whatever Mason said piss you off. You know he tends to run his mouth without thinking.”

I simply shook my head, wishing I could tell Eric what was really on my mind. Without thinking about what I was doing, I leaned in and gave Eric a chaste kiss. I wound my hand around the back of his neck, enjoying the moment. “I’m fine, really. I’m going to head upstairs.”

“Okay, well you know where I’ll be.” Thankfully, if anyone said anything about me kissing my roommate, they’d waited until I was out of ear shot.

I stripped down to my boxers and prayed that tonight would be the night I wouldn’t be haunted in my dreams. Both the good and bad dreams were making it impossible to feel rested when I woke up in the morning.

Chapter 10

By the last week of October, I was exhausted. I spent all day at the center, mostly doing mindless administrative work. We’d had to fire a couple of our program directors because we found out they were mishandling the money, but we had yet to find replacements for them. That meant I was doing the job of three people, none of which I was qualified to take on.

That also meant I had a valid excuse if Drew figured out that I’d been carefully avoiding going over to see him. As much as I hated to admit it, I knew that Drew was fine because Eric and Jason were there with him. Jason’s boyfriend was still in New York, which meant his plans to do some traveling over the winter were on hold indefinitely. I think he was trying to spend as much time as possible with Drew as a way to fill the hole left by Cam’s absence.

I felt as though I was stuck in limbo, waiting to see if Drew would reach out and tell me he wanted to see me. Other than his wrist, most of his physical wounds were healing pretty well, so I hoped it was only a matter of time before he’d call or ask me to stop by. Then again, I knew that was unlikely, given what I had seen the few times I had stopped by. It was completely against my nature to sit back the way I had been with Drew. This was the first time I’d been hesitant to fight for something I wanted. It wasn’t that I no longer thought Drew to be worth the fight, but I was a big enough man to step back when someone else would be better for him.

Knuckles rapping against the door of my makeshift office pulled me out of my thoughts of Drew and what could have been. That was good because there was too much to do around here for me to be daydreaming. I looked up and saw Eric standing in the doorway. That was a surprise that coiled my stomach slightly.

“Hey, I’m sorry to drop by, but I was hoping to talk to you for a minute,” he said, never stepping into my office. I motioned for him to take a seat and allowed myself to appreciate his good looks yet again. He had that same magnetic personality I’d seen the day we first met.

“Not a problem at all,” I assured him. “What can I do for you?”

Eric worried his bottom lip and scrubbed a hand through his chestnut hair. He was as gorgeous as ever, but there was no denying that he was exhausted, judging by the dark circles under his puffy eyes. Knowing he was the one who stopped Drew’s attack, I wondered if that was the source of his haggard state. My own mind had raced more than once thinking about what could have happened to Drew if Eric hadn’t come walking up when he did, so I could only imagine what Eric was going through.

“It’s about Drew,” he said bluntly. “I probably shouldn’t be here talking to you, but I didn’t know who else might be able to help.”

I sat up straighter, nervous about what Eric shouldn’t be talking to me about. “I’m not sure what it is you’re looking for, but you know I’ll do whatever I can. What’s going on?”

Eric chewed on his plump lower lip again and I could tell how difficult it was for him to find the words. I didn’t figure a man’s man like him was used to opening up about things that bothered him. He struck me as fitting just about every stereotype of your typical jock, exceedingly masculine in every way, emotionally stunted, and not used to thinking about anything other than the game.

“It’s weird,” he began, his voice softer than I thought him capable of, both in volume and tone. “It’s like the more he heals physically, the more standoffish he is. He’s pulling away from just about everyone. He’s afraid we’re all looking at him and still seeing his injuries.”

I quickly decided this wasn’t a conversation I wanted to be having at the center. Partly, I was concerned that people would walk in and interrupt us when I wanted to give Eric my undivided attention, but also, I didn’t want anyone putting two and two together and figuring out who we were talking about if they were in the hall eavesdropping. I didn’t want to think anyone here would do that, but I’d quickly learned that there was a lot going on at the Milwaukee center that I didn’t care for.

I started making stacks of the papers strewn all over my desk so I’d know where to start the next day as I listened to Eric continue telling me about what was going on with Drew. The more I heard, the more I thought I’d made a huge mistake by staying away. Not that I was any sort of authority on the subject, but this was something I was used to. I’d been hired by the center because I was a social work major in college. My goal in life was to help people, not sit behind a desk, acting like a cross between an accountant and a magician, trying to make money appear where there was none.

“I was just getting ready to head out for the day,” I lied. Any other day, I’d be here for at least another five hours. “Why don’t we head over to my place and continue this conversation in private?”

Eric looked around behind him as if he expected to see someone watching us. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw we were alone. “Yeah, that might be a good idea. Sorry, I was driving around running errands and passed this place and remembered that you worked here. I thought maybe you’d have some advice because I really don’t want to bring up the idea of him talking to someone.”

Well, at least we were on the same page there. Drew did need to talk to someone, but I don’t think Eric realized he wasn’t the only one who needed help. Eric had taken on the weight of everything with Drew, which was more than any friend should ever have to bear.

“I’m glad you stopped in,” I assured him. “I can’t say I know exactly what he’s going through, but this is what we deal with at the center far more often than we’d like. Maybe not to this extent, but a lot of the kids who come in here have been through bullying of varying degrees because of who they are.”

Eric let out a grunt of disbelief. “Bullying is a fuck of a lot different than what he went through.”

I grabbed my coat off the hook next to the door and motioned for Eric to lead the way out of the building. “That’s true in a sense, but a lot of times, bullying is a natural progression. Believe it or not, there are even people out there who think it’s not bullying at all until there are physical injuries. The truth is, sometimes the injuries caused by words are the ones that take the longest to heal.”

Eric and I walked to the reception desk and I let Jacob know I was leaving for the day. He was one of our success stories. He’d come to the center shortly after it opened and was now working here part-time to supplement the financial aid he received for college. Kids like him were the reason my work was so important to me.

The air was bitterly cold. For some reason, I thought I’d have a bit longer before it felt like the air was going to freeze the skin on my face. I’d been thinking about shaving my beard, but now that I felt the sting on my exposed skin, I was contemplating going all Grizzly Adams for the winter. I pulled up the collar of my coat to shield me and Eric laughed.

“If you think this is bad, you’re going to be screwed when it gets cold,” he teased.

“Yeah, so I’ve heard.” Eric stopped in front of his Audi and stared blankly at me as I waited for him to get in. “You want to tell me where I’m going?”

Right. He didn’t know where I lived. I gave him the address of the furnished apartment the center had helped me find and told him to park along the side of the building. “Man, that’s like three blocks from here. You really drive to and from work?”

I didn’t every day, but until I got used to the weather here, I had no intention of walking unless the roads were so bad that it became the lesser of two evils. When I first got here, I loved how close I was to work because walking every day allowed me to see some of the people who might someday walk through our doors for help. We had a team of street advocates who tried to make sure everyone knew help was available, but we couldn’t force anyone to accept it. And sadly, I wasn’t sure we’d be able to fill the need if our load increased too much.

“Don’t judge me,” I said, attempting to sound put-off. “Not all of us are bred to live in weather like this. I’m telling you, it’s not natural.”

“Come on, let’s go before you start whining that you’re going to turn into a popsicle.” I appreciated Eric not continuing to give me a hard time. “Do you want me to swing by and pick up something for dinner? I haven’t eaten since lunch, so if I don’t get to eat soon, I might go cannibal on you.”

Oh, if only we weren’t talking about him gnawing my arm, that could be entertaining. Eric was exactly the type of man I usually tried to find for a steamy night. Tall, fit, dark hair and smoldering eyes. The only thing I didn’t know was if he’d have a coat of equally dark hair covering his chest. If he did, I swore I’d do anything he asked.

I used to love going out on the weekends, and had more than my fair share of casual hook-ups, but none since the middle of September. After I met Drew, it hadn’t been a conscious decision to spend my Saturday nights holed up at home, but that’s what had happened. I’d sit around reading, waiting for him to text me if they had a late game. And since getting here, there simply hadn’t been time. I’d thought about asking Drew if he wanted to go out, even if it meant driving to Madison or Chicago, but then the attack happened and I’d gone back to catching up on the never-ending list of books I wanted to read.

“Yeah, that’d be good. I have to admit, I’ve been living off takeout since I got here since it’s usually too late to cook by the time I get home,” I admitted. Not only that, but cooking for one wasn’t all that much fun. I’d never be as good as Jason claimed his boyfriend was, but I got the impression few were. After all, he was MIA right now because he was off trying to become the next Emeril, Bobby, or Guy. “When you get there, just use the intercom and I’ll let you in.”

Eric running for dinner gave me time to pick up around the apartment a bit. I wasn’t a slob, but I had seen how meticulous most of Eric’s house was. With the exception of Drew’s bedroom, everything was in its place and there wasn’t a speck of dust to be seen.

Just as I finished throwing a load of laundry into the washer, the buzzer trilled through the apartment. “Hey, take the elevator to the fifth floor,” I told him before pressing the button to unlock the front doors.

I kept waffling between sitting on the couch waiting for him and opening the door to wait in the hall. As I stepped barefoot onto the carpeted hallway, I told myself I was only doing so because this was Eric’s first time and it was polite to not make someone wait at the door when you knew they were on their way up. See, Mom was wrong, I did have some social graces.

“Hey, nice place you’ve got here,” he praised when he stepped off the elevator. I helped him with the bags he was carrying, taking in the scent of garlic and onions. Italian seemed a safe choice, but it definitely cut down on the urge for an epic makeout session later. Then again, I doubted anything like that was even on Eric’s mind when he chose our meals for the evening.

“Thanks. The founder did the math and figured it’d be cheaper to get me a furnished apartment than make me live out of a hotel for however long I’m here. Plus, this way I didn’t have to pack my stuff and have it moved across the country.” Eric nodded in understanding. I forgot who I was talking to. Eric probably knew better than I ever would what a pain in the ass it was to move at a moment’s notice.

“Yeah, that’s why we’re always given the name of a realtor as soon as we land in a new city. I picked up a six pack. I hope you don’t mind.” The only thing I minded was that it wasn’t something stronger. I felt uneasy now that Eric was in my home.

“Not at all.” I grabbed the beer from him and led him into the small, galley style kitchen. There was barely enough room for me to move around in there, so there was no way to avoid brushing up against Eric as he pulled the lids off the entrees he’d ordered while I worked on getting plates and silverware. “Sorry the place is still a bit sparse. I haven’t had a chance to get anything more than the bare essentials the apartment came with.”

“No worries.” Eric followed me to the café table in the dining area. I didn’t mind the apartment, but it was apparent to me that it was meant as transitional housing, not a long term solution. None of the furniture was comfortable, it was more there to fill the otherwise vacant space than anything else.

We didn’t get back on the topic of Drew as we ate, which was good since the thought of him struggling upset me. It brought back a lot of old memories I’d rather leave in the past. I dealt with enough of those ghosts when I was at work, I wasn’t ready for them to invade my personal time as well.

After dinner, we moved the conversation into the living room. I turned on some music for background noise. Eventually, we got to the point where it became impossible to ignore the reason we were both here.

“So, tell me more about what’s going on with Drew,” I urged.

“He misses you,” Eric said without hesitation, making me choke on my beer. Those were the last three words I’d expected to hear. They should have made me feel better, but they didn’t. I’d been pulling away because every time I stopped by, it was clear to see that he and Eric were growing closer. Drew thought he was hiding the moments when he pulled back from Eric’s simple touches, but he wasn’t fooling me. I knew he was doing so for my benefit. “I was hoping you might want to come over to the house and watch a movie tomorrow night.”

“I think you’re reading too much into his mood swings,” I argued. Eric was trying to find the simplest answer, which wasn’t the right one. “Besides, why would you come down to tell me that? From where I’m standing, it looks like you and Drew are doing just fine together.”

Eric shook his head. “It’s not like that. Yeah, we’re closer now than we were in the past, but I’m not who he wants. He won’t say it, but I can tell.”

“How?” I challenged. Before answering, Eric went into the kitchen and helped himself to two more beers.

He sat down a bit closer to me. His proximity made me nervous. It excited me. And it scared the hell out of me because I felt out of control. “You’ll probably think I’m crazy and at least a little bit creepy if I tell you.”

“Try me.” I purposely kept my tone casual.

“He’s been having nightmares.” Understandable, given everything Drew had been through, but I failed to see how that meant he’d been missing me. “Since I haven’t been able to sleep much either, I go and check on him sometimes to see if he’s restless.”

That did seem a bit creepy, but it also seemed logical. The two of them shared a bond no one else would be able to understand. Drew may have been the one who’d been physically assaulted, but he had the “blessing” of not remembering most of what happened. Eric, on the other hand, remembered every second from the time he turned into that alley until they knew Drew was going to be okay. Speaking from experience, I knew how those images could form an indelible bond in a man’s mind.

No one knew how close Jason’s boyfriend and I had been when we were deployed. At first, we were nothing more than brothers in arms, willing to protect one another to the death. The night I had to stop a drunk asshole from choking Adam because he’d found out Adam was gay, everything changed. Had it not been for Adam’s undying devotion to Jason, I can’t say for certain we wouldn’t have been sneaking off to fuck every chance we had. But somehow, the kinship we shared after that night was one even deeper than meaningless sex. I would have done anything to help him. And when I wasn’t able to save him, I blamed myself. I mourned him in silence, wondering if it’d ever be possible for me to find the type of love he always spoke of when it came to Jason.

“Anyone else would think you’re a stalker, but I get it,” I told him, hoping he wouldn’t pry. Eric had no obligation to me, and if I told him the truth I couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t run to Jason. That’d open old wounds that had finally begun to heal. “So, how does that involve me?”

“The other night I heard him saying something when I was walking down the hall to get a drink,” Eric began. He hesitated, gripping at his neck as if the words he wanted to say were choking him. “That night, it wasn’t a nightmare. Let’s just say it was the exact opposite.”

Oh. I opened and closed my mouth a few times, finding myself at a loss for words.

“Yeah, that was my reaction as well,” Eric admitted. “I was about to go into his bedroom when his words became less muffled. And the first thing I heard was him calling out to you.”

Well shit. I really thought I’d been doing the right thing by backing away. If what Eric said was the truth, and really he had no reason to lie, then I’d messed up big time. “Tell me what you want me to do.”

Today might wind up going down as one of the most bizarre days of my life. By the time I walked Eric to the elevator, he and I had planned a pretty kick ass night in for Drew and me. Eric assured me he’d make himself scarce, even after I swore that wasn’t necessary. I couldn’t guarantee I would have been as accommodating had our roles been reversed.