Текст книги "Doctor Who: Who-ology (Dr Who)"

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The Ice Warriors would return just over a year later in The Seeds of Death, joined this time by Slaar, a smaller, sleeker commander, all bulbous helmet and bad teeth. Over time, Slaar and his hissing successors Izlyr and Azaxyr who appeared in the Third Doctor stories The Curse of Peladon and The Monster of Peladon respectively, would become known as Ice Lords, although the title is never actually used on screen. When addressing Izlyr and Azaxyr, you should hold the Ice, they are just Lords, plain and simple – but they both have very nice cloaks, unlike poor Slaar. All three Ice Lords were played by actor Alan Bennion.

BRED FOR WAR – SONTARAN FACTOIDS

‘It’s all right. I’ve had a good life. I’m nearly 12.’

Strax, A Good Man Goes to War

As 12 is considered a good age for a Sontaran to reach, here are a dozen facts on the classic monster that was once described as a ‘talking baked potato’.

The Sontarans have been engaged in a war with the Rutans for thousands of years.

Sontarans are a clone species. The Sontaran Military Academy is capable of producing over a million cadets at each muster parade, allowing their forces to sustain enormous casualties on all fronts. The Eleventh Doctor claimed that Strax was the middle child of six million.

The Sontaran home world is Sontar, giving rise to the battle cry ‘Sontar-ha!’ Which they shout. A lot.

In the high-gravity environment of Sontar, a Sontaran weighs several tonnes.

Sontaran muscles are built for load bearing rather than leverage.

Sontarans do not fear death. They would rather be court-martialled than show pain.

For a Sontaran, being ordered to take care of the sick and wounded is a punishment.

Sontarans can gene-splice their bodies for a variety of functions, including all nursing duties. Some can even produce enormous quantities of lactic fluid.

As any space-adventuring hero knows, a Sontaran’s most vulnerable spot is its probic vent. To quote Chiswick Super-Temp Donna Noble, ‘Back of the neck!’

Because of the probic vent’s position at the back of the neck, Sontarans must always face their enemies, never turning their back on them.

To enter battle open-skinned, without a helmet, is considered a great honour.

Sontaran culture is not very progressive when it comes to equality of the sexes. They consider words to be the ‘weapons of womenfolk’. No wonder they suffer so many defeats.

SONTARAN ROLL CALL

For an identical race of clones, Sontarans have come in all shapes, sizes and heights over the years – some even sporting the height of fashion in facial hair. Here’s a roster of Sontaran personnel from on-screen skirmishes.

SONTARAN FORCES

Sontaran military forces are split into distinct groups and battalions, all serving towards the honourable pursuit of victory in the war against the Rutans (Sontar-ha! etc.). Forces mentioned or seen on screen in Doctor Who are:

Fifth Sontaran Battle Group – The Time Warrior

G3 Military Assessment Survey – The Sontaran Experiment

Sontaran Special Space Service – The Invasion of Time

Ninth Sontaran Battle Fleet – The Two Doctors

Tenth Sontaran Battle Fleet – The Sontaran Stratagem / The Poison Sky

WORLDS OF THE CYBERMEN

Once they were like us. Then they changed. They became stronger. They became more efficient. They became monsters. Now, the Cybermen want us to be like them again, but on their terms and in their image. The scourge that spread across the galaxy started very close to home.

Mondas – The original home of the Cybermen

Millions of years ago, Earth had a twin planet: Mondas. Following some unknown cosmic event, Mondas broke free of its orbit and drifted away from Earth. The effect on the planet’s atmosphere was catastrophic. With their bodies weakening and lifespans becoming shorter, the Mondasians started replacing their body parts with metal and plastic cybernetic implants. Soon, they didn’t know where man ended and machine began. Finally, the ruling powers of Mondas decreed that one final weakness needed to be eradicated: emotion. The Mondasians became slaves to logic. They became Cybermen.

Using an extraordinary planetary propulsion system, the Cybermen piloted Mondas back to Earth, determined to convert every human on the planet to Cyber-kind.

Planet 14

At some point, the Cybermen apparently encountered the Second Doctor in an unseen adventure on a world they designated Planet 14.

Telos – Tomb world

Once home to the Cryons, Telos was chosen by the Cybermen as the ideal location for their Tomb, a huge underground citadel containing expansive cryogenic units. Five hundred years after the last sighting of a Cyberman, a human expedition financed by the devious Kaft an, who was working with the Brotherhood of Logicians, sought to explore the Tomb. The Brotherhood aimed to revive and enslave the Cybermen, but the resurrected metal horrors had other plans. The Tomb wasn’t the sepulchre of the Cyber-race, it was a lure. Anyone who managed to resurrect the Cybermen would join their number and be like them.

Earth – An alternative history

On an alternative earth in a parallel universe, John Lumic, inventor and CEO of Cybus Industries, was dying. Desperate to prolong his life, he developed a means to upgrade humans to the next level. In a seemingly deserted factory in Battersea Power Station he was experimenting on London’s homeless, transplanting their still-living brains into new cybernetic bodies.

When the President of Britain refused to sanction Lumic’s experiments, Lumic sent a signal to every human wearing Cybus Industries’ now ubiquitous earpods, forcing them to report to the Power Station for upgrade. Lumic’s new race of Cybermen eventually turned on their creator, converting him into the first Cyber Controller of their reality, and began conquering the planet. Soon, they set their cold sights on other worlds – and other dimensions.

CYBER-SPOTTER

Don’t know your Cyber Controller from your Cybershade? Then never leave home without our handy Cyber-spotting guide. Of course, they’ll probably delete you before you find the right page…

CYBER CONTROLLER

Cyber Controller (The Tomb of the Cybermen)

Taller than average Cyberman

No helmet bars

Enlarged translucent glowing braincase

No chestplate

Cyber Controller (Attack of the Cybermen)

No helmet bars

Enlarged metal braincase

Cyber Controller (The Age of Steel)

Transparent braincase

Glowing Eyes

Connection bolts on chest

Cybus Industries logo

CYBER-PLANNER

Cyber-Planner (The Wheel in Space)

Immobile unit

Metal frame

Transparent rods

Egg-like braincase

Cyber-Planner (The Invasion)

Immobile unit

Metal frame

Transparent rods

Funny voice

CYBERLEADER

Cyberleader (Revenge of the Cybermen)

Black helmet

Black helmet bars

Cyberleader (Earthshock)

Black helmet bars

Cyberleader (The Next Doctor)

Black helmet bars

Black face plate

Transparent braincase

CYBER LIEUTENANT (Earthshock)

No distinguishing marks

CYBER-SCOUT (Attack)

Black all over to blend into shadows (or sewers)

CYBER-TROOPER

Cyber-Trooper (The Tenth Planet)

Large headlamp

Cloth mask

Bulky chest plate

Human hands

Cyber-Trooper (The Moonbase)

Sleeker helmet and chest unit

External hydraulic tubing

No individual fingers

Can shoot electricity from wrist

Cyber-Trooper (The Invasion)

Expanded helmet

Teardrops on eyes

Stronger build

Cyber-Trooper (Earthshock)

Transparent jaw plate

Chest plate extended to shoulders

Largely uses cyber-guns

Cyber-Trooper (Doomsday)

Robotic body containing human brain

Cybus Industries logo

Head contains tranquilliser darts

Wrist-mounted gun

CYBERMATS

Cybermat (The Tomb of the Cybermen)

Segmented bodies

Bulbous eyes

Base sensors

Antennae

Cybermat (The Wheel in Space)

No antennae

Glowing eyes

Cybermat (Revenge of the Cybermen)

Larger

Longer

No eyes

Injects poison

Cybermat (Closing Time)

Smaller

Teardrop eye pieces

Razor-sharp organic teeth

CYBERSHADES (The Next Doctor)

Possibly contain brain of cat or dog

Shaggy fur

Bronzed face-mask

Slanted helmet bars

CYBER CONVERTS

MAPPING THE WEB OF FEAR

In The Web of Fear, Central London and the Underground system was taken over by an infestation of the Great Intelligence’s web fungus and its Yeti robots. Follow the handy Who-ology tourist guide if you fancy some Yeti spotting.

Goodge Street Fortress: Central army base in the fight against the Great Intelligence’s Yeti, located beneath Goodge Street Station

Charing Cross Underground Station: Location of army explosives and the Doctor’s first Yeti encounter

Covent Garden Underground Station: TARDIS landing site. ‘LONDONERS FLEE! MENACE SPREADS!’ sign. Location of Colonel Lethbridge Stewart’s above-ground battle with the Yeti

Holborn Underground Station: Location of Yeti attack on army supply truck

Tunnel barricade: Battle with Yeti somewhere between Holborn and the Goodge Street Fortress

Kings Cross Underground Station: Yeti sighting, holding a glass control pyramid

Monument Underground Station: Web advance along the Circle Line, trapping Jamie and Evans

St Paul’s Underground Station: Scene of Evans and Jamie’s escape from the web advance

Piccadilly Circus Underground Station: Stronghold of the Great Intelligence where Victoria and Travers are held hostage. Location of the final battle

MONSTER MAKE-UP

How long does it take to get a monster ready for action in the new series?

The Gunslinger – Three hours with a team of two. The gun arm was added on set due to its extreme weight.

Dalek puppet slave – Three hours to add the Dalek eyestalks and lights. The Dalek-ised corpses were easier, being a mask pulled over the performers head, taking just one hour to apply.

Judoon Captain – Thirty minutes to get into the costume and then another ten minutes to attach the animatronic head

Silent – Ten minutes to add mask and gloves

Silurian – Three hours (although a little longer if their scaly mitts are un-gloved)

Slitheen – Three hours

Sontaran – Three hours

Weeping Angel – Two hours. Two make-up artists work on each Lonely Assassin, although the wings and skirts aren’t added until on set or location as – ironically – it’s difficult for the performers to move with them on.

FIVE

LOTS OF PLANETS HAVE A NORTH

A ROUGH GUIDE TO EARTH AND OTHER WORLDS

‘There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea’s asleep, and the rivers dream; people made of smoke and cities made of song…’

The Doctor, Survival

While we may never know exactly why the Doctor left Gallifrey, one thing is certain. He never tires of exploring strange new planets – although he can’t help but be drawn to a small blue planet in Mutter’s Spiral.

‘I have a place in mind that’s on the way, well, more or less, give or take a parsec or two. It’s my home from home. It’s called Earth.’

The Doctor, Logopolis

THE CHANGING FACE OF THE OVAL OFFICE

In The Impossible Astronaut, the TARDIS lands in the Oval Office of President Nixon’s White House. Built in Upper Boat studios near Cardiff, the set was used on a number of occasions in Series Six. Did you spot them all?

The Oval Office (The Impossible Astronaut)

The hospital spaceship (The Curse of the Black Spot)

The Gangers’ Acid Well Crypt (The Rebel Flesh / The Almost People)

The Birthing Suite on Demon’s Run (A Good Man Goes to War)

PAST PRESENT FUTURE

Stories in the past, present and days yet to come

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

What proportion of the Doctor’s adventures take place on Earth or in the stars?

NAMEDROPPER

The Doctor is an incorrigible namedropper. Just look at the people he claims to have met – or even married. But as we know from River, he also lies. Maybe he was telling porkies about a few of these.

Dante Alighieri – The Doctor has the poet’s details in his address book. (The Two Doctors)

Alexander the Great – After his third regeneration, the Fourth Doctor mistook the Brigadier for Alexander. (Robot)

Archimedes – The Doctor has the philosopher’s details in his address book. He also thinks he’s a bit wet. (The Two Doctors)

Hans Christian Andersen – The Doctor provided the Danish fairy-tale writer with the idea for The Emperor’s New Clothes. (The Romans)

Marie Antoinette – The French Queen gave the Doctor a picklock. (Pyramids of Mars)

The Venerable Bede – The Doctor shared a salmon that he caught in the River Fleet with the Anglo-Saxon scholar. (The Talons of Weng-Chiang)

Ludwig van Beethoven – The Doctor picked up how to play the organ by hanging around with Beethoven. (The Lazarus Experiment)

Napoleon Bonaparte – The Doctor told Boney that an army marches on its stomach. (Day of the Daleks)

Isambard Kingdom Brunel – The Doctor has the engineer’s details in his address book. (The Two Doctors)

George Bryan ‘Beau’ Brummell – The arbiter of men’s fashion once told the First Doctor that he looked better in a cloak. (The Sensorites)

José Raúl Capablanca – The Doctor watched the Cuban chess champion play Alekhine in 1927. (The Androids of Tara)

Charlemagne – The Doctor tried to find Charlemagne in the Ardennes after the French king was kidnapped by an insane computer. (The Unicorn and the Wasp)

Mr Chicken – The Doctor thought the last private occupant of Number 10 Downing Street was a nice man. (World War Three)

Father Christmas – The Doctor has a photo of himself and Father Christmas (real name: Geoff) alongside Albert Einstein and a mystery blonde taken at Frank Sinatra’s hunting lodge in 1952. (A Christmas Carol)

John Churchill – The Doctor was at the battle of Malplaquet with the First Duke of Marlborough. (The Android Invasion)

Cleopatra – The Tenth Doctor mentioned the Egyptian queen to Mickey and Rose, calling her ‘Cleo’. (The Girl in the Fireplace)

Christopher Columbus – The Doctor has the explorer’s details in his address book. (The Two Doctors)

Marie Curie – The Doctor knew Madame Curie intimately. (Doctor Who)

Sir Francis Drake – The Elizabethan adventurer was a friend of the Doctor’s. (Four to Doomsday)

Edward VII – The Doctor knew Elizabeth II’s great grandfather in Paris. (Inferno)

Elizabeth I – The Doctor attended his future wife’s coronation. (The Curse of Peladon)

Albert Einstein – The Doctor did try to explain to the German-born physicist why his special theory of relativity wasn’t right, but the scientist wouldn’t listen. (The Stones of Blood) We later see him meet Einstein in Time and the Rani and Death Is the Only Answer. We also learn that Einstein leant the Doctor his toothbrush – which was eventually exterminated by the Daleks.

Pierre de Fermat – The mathematician got killed in a duel before he had a chance to write down his real Theorem – and all because the Doctor slept in. (The Eleventh Hour)

Benjamin Franklin – The Doctor helped his mate Ben discover electricity. In the process he got rope burns from the kite, soaked and electrocuted. (Smith and Jones)

Sigmund Freud – The Doctor met the psychologist at some point before his seventh regeneration. (Doctor Who)

Gilbert and Sullivan – The light opera writers once gave the Doctor a coat. (The Edge of Destruction)

Hannibal – The Doctor confused the Brigadier with Hannibal after his third regeneration. (Robot)

Henry VIII – The Doctor’s future father-in-law threw a parson’s nose at the First Doctor and the Doctor threw it back, ending up in the Tower of London for his troubles. Of course, it was all a ruse as the TARDIS was locked away in the Tower. (The Sensorites) Years later, Rory Williams would leave his mobile phone charger in Henry VIII’s en-suite. (A Town Called Mercy)

Harry Houdini – The Doctor picked up a few tricks from the famous escapologist. (Planet of the Spiders, Revenge of the Cybermen)

Thomas Huxley – ‘Darwin’s bulldog’ was an old friend of the Doctor’s. (Logopolis)

Thomas Jefferson – The Doctor thought that Jefferson, along with two of his fellow American Founding Fathers, John Adams and Alexander Hamilton, were lovely fellows. He also claimed that two of them fancied him. (The Impossible Astronaut)

Janis Joplin – The singer gave the Doctor the coat worn by his tenth incarnation. (Gridlock)

David Lloyd George – The British Prime Minister used to drink the Doctor under the table. (Aliens of London)

Michelangelo – The Doctor claimed the Renaissance painter whinged all the time he was painting the Sistine Chapel. (Vincent and the Doctor)

Mao Tse-Tung – The Chinese communist gave the Doctor leave to use his personal name. (The Mind of Evil)

Horatio Nelson – A close personal friend of the Doctor’s. (The Sea Devils)

Issac Newton – The Doctor tried to help the English scientist discover gravity by climbing up a tree and dropping apples on his head. When Newton told him to clear off the Doctor explained gravity over dinner. (The Pirate Planet)

Madame Nostradamus – The wife of the French seer knitted the Fourth Doctor’s scarf. She was a witty little knitter. (The Ark in Space)

Emily Pankhurst – The suffragette stole the Doctor’s laser spanner. (Smith and Jones)

Fred Perry – The Doctor has a pair of the tennis legend’s shorts. (The Power of Three)

Pablo Picasso – The ‘ghastly old goat’ wouldn’t listen when the Doctor told him where eyes go on the human face. (Vincent and the Doctor)

Giacomo Puccini – The Doctor was with the composer of Madame Butterfly before he died. (Doctor Who)

Pyrrho – The First Doctor met the founder of scepticism. (The Keys of Marinus)

Sir Walter Raleigh – The Elizabethan explorer once shared a cell in the tower of London with the Doctor. (The Mind of Evil)

Franz Schubert – Fantasia in F minor for four hands was written for Schubert and the Doctor to play together. ‘Franz the hands’ kept tickling the Doctor to put him off. (Dinosaurs on a Spaceship)

William Shakespeare – When the Doctor met Shakespeare he thought the bard was a ‘charming fellow’ but a ‘dreadful actor’. (Planet of Evil) When he was young, Will was a ‘taciturn boy’. The Doctor would go on to write the first draft of Hamlet after Shakespeare sprained his wrist writing sonnets. He also tried to point out that ‘Take arms against a sea of troubles’ was a mixed metaphor but the playwright insisted that it was fine. (City of Death) We later see him meet Shakespeare in The Shakespeare Code.

John Sullivan – The heavyweight boxing champion gave the Doctor boxing lessons. (Carnival of Monsters)

William Tell – The Swiss folk hero taught the Doctor how to shoot a crossbow. (The Face of Evil)

Theseus – Theseus and Ariadne were helped out of the Minotaur’s maze by the Doctor and a ball of string. (The Creature from the Pit) The Doctor forgot to remind Theseus to paint his ship white. (The Horns of Nimon)

Queen Victoria – The Doctor attended Victoria’s coronation. (The Curse of Peladon)

Leonardo da Vinci – Some time after The Masque of Mandragora, the Doctor met Leonardo and the model for the Mona Lisa, a dreadful woman with no eyebrows who wouldn’t sit still. (City of Death) The Sixth Doctor had Leonardo’s contact details in his address book. (The Two Doctors)

James Watt – The First Doctor was present when the Scottish engineer discovered steam power. (The Space Museum)

Issak Walton – The Doctor fished with the author of The Compleat Angler. (The Androids of Tara)

HISTORICAL CELEBRITIES

‘Charles Dickens? You’re brilliant, you are. Completely, one hundred per cent brilliant.’

The Doctor, The Unquiet Dead

When you get around the history of Earth as much as the Doctor does, sooner or later you’re going to bump into some very famous celebrities. Here are some of the great and the good (and the downright evil) of history that have been portrayed during the Doctor’s travels.

THE NEMESIS COMET

‘Listen, Ace. The Nemesis generates destruction. It affects everything around it.’

The Doctor, Silver Nemesis

In 1638, the Doctor launched the Validium statue known as the Nemesis Comet into space on a rocket-sled. Unfortunately, its orbit then brought it near to Earth every 25 years, causing trouble on the planet with every pass. Known effects influenced by the statue’s proximity to the planet include:

1913: The eve of the First World War

1938: Adolf Hitler’s annexation of Austria

1963: The assassination of President John F. Kennedy

1988: the attempted rise of the Fourth Reich and a Cyber invasion.

CELEBRITY CULTURE

Everybody from newsreaders to pop stars wants to appear in Doctor Who. Here’s a rundown of the real-life celebrities of planet Earth that have appeared as themselves in the series.