Текст книги "Shaken, Not Stirred"

Автор книги: Sawyer Bennett

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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

I stare at Casey a moment, trying to figure out if she’s pissed that she’s been the subject of conversation or if she’s just matter-of-factly telling me the way things are. Regardless, I ask her instead, “What do you mean ‘men like me’?”

She smirks and waves her hand toward me. “You know… men like you.”

“No, I don’t know what that means,” I tell her as I straighten up in the booth and pull my legs back. Leaning forward on my elbows, I murmur, “Enlighten me.”

“Dangerous,” she says simply. “You’re dangerous.”

“I’m a teddy bear,” I tell her.

“You’re real,” she counters. “You’re real, down to earth, and there isn’t a pretentious bone in your body. That makes you dangerous.”

I shake my head in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

Casey smiles at me almost piteously, and I’m surprised she doesn’t give me a condescending pat on my head. “I know on the face it looks like I just seek out rich men, and maybe you think that’s so because I like to live a glamorous life and I like pretty things. But the truth is… I seek out men that are vain, narcissistic, or self-absorbed. It just so happens that many of those types of men are that way because of what money has done to them. It makes them entitled and it corrupts. It controls their lives and makes them feel more important that what they really are. It gives them the power to hurt people… to destroy. It takes away their capacity to truly care.”

“And these are the men you seek out?” I ask dumbly.

“Yes,” is all she says, and she waits to see if I get it. When I don’t, she continues on, “It’s self-preservation at its simplest form.”

And then I get it.

I nod, my eyes wide with understanding. “It’s easier to keep yourself closed off from those types of people. You aren’t in any danger of getting hurt, because you know exactly what you’re dealing with. And because these men really aren’t of any true interest to you… at least no more than a nice diversion… you aren’t ever in any danger of breaking your own boundaries. You’re not in danger of falling for them.”

Casey grins and stabs her index finger in the air at me. “Bingo. You got it.”

Shaking my head, I pick up my coffee cup. Just before taking a sip, I mutter, “You are one complex woman, Goldie.”

Casey’s voice is whisper soft, full of emotion. “And you are dangerous, Tenn Jennings, because you are exactly the type of man that could crumble all of those boundaries.”

The honesty of her words and the fact they are said with such resignation about slays me.

My hand drops to my stomach and I rub it gingerly, because those words and the sad quality of her voice just rendered a deep punch to my gut. I want to slide from the booth, pull her out of her seat, and wrap her in my arms. I want to kiss her and tell her she’s far more worthy than she gives herself credit for, but I can’t do any of those things.

Those are exactly the types of things that would send Casey scurrying away from me. Those are the types of things that make me dangerous in her mind.

So instead, I ask, “What do your friends all think of this philosophy you have? Why you only seek out those types of men?”

Casey scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Tenn… what I just told you? My reasons for doing what I do? They don’t know any of that. They just think Casey wants to drink champagne and the only way to do it on her Coca Cola budget is to target the hotties with the money. I mean… look at me. I don’t mean that in any vain sense, but seriously… I can get anyone I want. At least… any man who is so self-absorbed and narcissistic, they don’t give a rat’s ass that I set boundaries with them. That’s all my friends really know… all they need to know. The only reason I told you is because you’re fleeting. Just here for a visit.”

While I’m not about to disabuse her of the notion that I’m just visiting—since I’m thinking of relocating—I am floored that she’s shared something with me that even her closest friends don’t know. Which really pisses me off because whatever it is that drives Casey to do the things she does, it comes at the sacrifice of her insulating her friends from whatever pain she’s suffered. She doesn’t share with them not because she doesn’t trust them. She doesn’t share with them because she doesn’t want them to hurt for her.

Leaning further over the table, I reach out and take one of Casey’s hands in my own. I rub my thumb over the peaks and valleys of her knuckles. “You know what your problem is, Goldie?”

She shakes her head, her eyes seeking almost desperately for some truth that she hasn’t figured out on her own.

“The men you’ve been with? They merely stir you and you don’t need to be gently stirred,” I tell her simply.

One eyebrow drops while the other one rises in skepticism. “I don’t need stirred?”

“It’s like this. You’re not a woman that needs to be treated with kid gloves. You don’t need to be coddled or unnecessarily flattered. You’re too sharp and savvy for that. In fact, you’re almost too sharp and savvy for that. It’s made you wary and shielded, which has in turn made you stagnant. You’re stuck in a rut of your own making… maybe for self-preservation, maybe not… but your boundaries have stunted the woman you’re meant to be. It’s like the cocktails you make when you bartend. You need to be shaken, not stirred.”

Casey just stares at me as understanding of what I just said starts to take root. Her eyes flare round and her mouth parts slightly. Just as I think she’s getting ready to tell me that I am the wisest of all creatures she’s ever encountered, she leans over to the side and slaps her free hand on the tabletop while she lets out a bark of a laugh. She peals out uncontrollable chuckles and then wheezes. When she finally sucks in a deep breath of air, she wipes her eyes and says, “That is the biggest crock of shit I’ve ever heard in my life, Tenn.”

I smirk at her as I release her hand and slide out of the booth. After fishing a twenty out to cover the coffee and an extremely generous tip, which I throw down on the table, I hold my hand out to her. Still snickering, she places her hand in mine and looks up at me with amusement.

“Come on, Goldie,” I tell her as I pull her from the booth. “You can laugh all you want, but I’m right about that. I’m going to prove it to you.”

“Oh yeah?” she asks with a giggle as we start to walk out of the diner hand in hand. “How are you going to prove it to me?”

“I’m going to take you back to my hotel room and I’m going to fuck you hard into submission,” I growl at her in a low voice so as not to distress the waitress who waves goodbye to us.

“Mmmmm,” Casey moans dramatically as we hit the parking lot. “That sounds nice.”

“You’ll be walking funny tomorrow,” I warn her ominously.

“Even better,” she chirps and starts pulling me faster through the lot to my bike. When we get there, I reach out for her helmet to put it on her, but she grabs ahold of my wrists. “But I have a better idea.”

“Oh yeah… what’s that?”

“You come to my house instead,” she says quietly, and my body goes still.

This, I know, is huge. Given the boundaries that Casey sets with men… the fact that she doesn’t let them in personally at all… there’s no way in hell she opens her house up to them.

“Am I the first?” I ask her gruffly.

She nods her head as she nibbles on her lower lip.

Pleasure and an odd sense of accomplishment rushes through me. Actually, it’s euphoric.

I jerk Casey into my body and crush my mouth down on to hers, showing her how much I appreciate the tiny bit of trust she’s placed in me. I know this is a monumental moment for her, and I want her to see how special it is to me.

Christ… I feel like she just awarded me her virginity or something.

Chapter 9

Casey

Oh, boy… this was not a good idea. What was I thinking inviting Tenn into my home?

Stupid¸ stupid, stupid.

I opened the door to my house and metaphorically opened up a boundary that had been sealed tight.

Wringing my hands, I nervously walk through my small living room. “Um… not much to it. Just a small living room and kitchen. Two bedrooms and two baths.”

“It’s nice,” Tenn says as he looks around and then walks to the back sliding glass door. “Cozy in fact.”

I watch as he opens the door and steps out onto my minuscule deck. My tiny beach house sits two streets off the ocean, so most of my view is of other beach houses with just a tiny glimpse of the Atlantic. My house faces south so from the back deck, you can actually see not only a little bit of the ocean to the east but also a tiny bit of the sound to the west. It’s all I could afford as beachfront is definitely not within the budget of a down-and-out realtor turned bartender.

Tenn puts his hands on the deck railing and leans over it, craning his neck slightly to the left to look toward the ocean. A soft breeze filters in through the door, but my skin feels chilled.

I kind of thought Tenn would jump on me the minute we walked in. I didn’t expect him to ask me questions or look around with interest. I certainly didn’t expect him to mosey on out to the deck and check out the scenery by moonlight.

This is not good. This is all too friendly and intimate. It’s all just too much, especially after the way I prattled on to him at the diner… letting him in on a secret not one other person knows about me.

I feel itchy and tense and fuck… now my palms are sweating. I rub them furiously on the hem of my shorts and realize that I need to get this turned around. Quickly trotting over to my stereo, I put on some music and completely luck out with R. Kelly’s Bump N’ Grind.

Straightening up, I turn toward the back door and see Tenn standing just inside of it. I get a sinful pull of his lips upward as he gives a nod of his head toward the stereo. Sliding the door shut behind him, he says, “That’s some pretty sexy music you got on there, Goldie.”

Taking a deep breath, I let it out. I also let out all the warm and fuzzies I’ve been feeling for Tenn this evening. The friendship and bonding. I empty it all out and as I suck in a deep breath to replace it, I fill myself up with sensuality. I think about all the things Tenn has done to my body, and I let the need to feel it all again cram the void. I turn myself into the sexual creature that has sustained my need for touch by questing for an orgasm. I’m Casey Markham… the woman who only cares about physical pleasure, leaving the joys of the heart to other poor saps.

As Tenn takes a few steps into the living room, I start to prowl my way to him, sexily rolling my hips as I let my fingers flirt with the edges of my shorts. He comes to a stop and watches me, his eyes running down my body appraisingly. He even mimics my patented move—pulling his bottom lip in between his teeth while he imagines all the dirty things we’ll do to each other—and fuck… that’s really, really hot when he does that.

No wonder it works so well.

Stepping up to him, my fingers dip down into the waistband of his jeans. I crane my neck to look up at him and my breath never fails to get robbed by his sky blue eyes, those provocative lips, and that kick-ass goatee.

“Something occurred to me,” I tell him with a throaty purr.

“What’s that?” he asks, his eyes heating up over the promise in my voice.

“You bestowed all kinds of oral pleasure on me the other night, and I never even got to return the favor.” For good measure, I stick my lower lip out into a pout as my hands reach for his belt buckle. My head dips down but I raise my eyes up in coy flirtation, knowing my long lashes framing my eyes will look spectacular to him from that angle.

As I unhook his belt from the buckle, I lower my eyes to my task and whisper just loud enough for him to hear, “You have no idea the things I can do with this mouth.”

A low growl thunders in Tenn’s chest, and I smile inwardly. When I pull the black leather free from the loops, I look up at him directly as I drop the belt to the ground. “I bet Mallory—which is a stupid name by the way—could never suck you down the way I’m going to do it.”

Hot breath rushes out of Tenn’s mouth and gusts over the top of my head. My fingers deftly maneuver the top button of his jeans open but before I unzip him, I press my palm to his erection, pushing hard against the denim. “Oh, baby,” I murmur. “Trust me… this is going to be the best you’ve ever had.”

Tenn reaches a hand up, threads his fingers through my hair at my temple, and curls them around my head. “Wait a minute, Casey,” he murmurs, but surely he doesn’t mean it. There’s no way in hell he wants me to stop.

I pull his zipper down, peel the fly apart, and my mouth actually waters as I get a glimpse of the mushroomed head of his cock sticking up past the edge of his boxers. Odd… never had my mouth water to get a taste of a man before, but right now, saliva pools over my tongue.

“Be warned,” I say with a soft moan as my fingers graze over the tip. “I’ll bring you to your knees.”

“Casey… stop,” Tenn says as his fingers dig slightly into my scalp.

I ignore him and push my fingers past the elastic of his underwear, curling my hand around his length. “You’ll be begging me to finish you off—”

“Just stop, Casey,” Tenn growls and pulls away from me completely.

Feeling like a wave of ice-cold water just doused me, I look up at him and blink in surprise. His jaw is hard and his eyes are frosty.

“What’s wrong?” I ask as an empty pit starts forming in my stomach.

Tenn huffs out a breath of frustration and holds his arms out to the side. “What’s going on here, Casey?”

Hmmmm. I thought I was being obvious, but apparently not.

I step back up to him, and my hand reaches toward his dick. “I’m going to make you feel good, baby,” I say, and then I’m stunned when he bats my hand away.

“You can suck my cock later,” he snarls at me. “But I want to know what the fuck you think you’re doing? What’s with the act?”

“Act?” I ask, dumbfounded.

“Yeah… act,” he says with exasperation, and then he mimics me, “Oh, baby… I’m going to have you begging. Oh, baby… you’ve never had it this good. Blah, blah, blah.”

My mouth drops open in stunned surprise. “I don’t understand. Don’t you like dirty talk?”

“I like dirty talk just fine,” Tenn says quietly. “But only when you mean it. When you do it to ramp up both of our pleasure. But just now… what you were doing? You sounded like a robot. It sounded rehearsed. Christ, Casey… is that what you do to get all your rich men hot and horny?”

I just stare at him, so completely shocked to hear this revelation about myself.

“I’m not into playing games, Casey. I want you. You,” he emphasizes again by placing a finger gently in the middle of my chest. “Not some shell of a woman that operates on auto pilot because she’s afraid to feel.”

“I don’t—” I start to say, but he cuts me off quickly.

“You do,” he rolls right over me. “You’re problem is you’ve never had anyone tell you the truth, but I’m fucking telling you right now… this shit you’re doing? It ain’t fucking sexy to me at all.”

Oily, black, sludgy shame rolls through me, and my stomach actually pitches sideways. Is this what I’ve become? Have I been reduced to someone who operates on a nonexistent plane just to keep myself untouchable? Have I done this with my friends? My family?

My face lowers to the ground, and all I can do is whisper, “I’m sorry.”

Strong arms immediately wrap around me, one around my upper back and the other cradling my head. Tenn pulls me into his chest and his lips come to the top of my head. “It’s okay.”

Shaking my head, I manage to mutter in to his chest, “I’m not sure I know how to be any other way.”

Tenn squeezes me gently. “Not true, Goldie. You know. You’re just too afraid to try it out.”

He’s right. I’m a fucking coward for sure. It’s so easy to be that other Casey… keeping everyone at a distance, completely shielding myself and depending only upon myself to fulfill my own desires.

Unfortunately or fortuitously, I’m not sure which at this point, but Tenn has pointed out some ugly truths about me and I have to decide if I want to continue to be an ugly person.

Pulling gently out of his embrace, I screw up my courage and lift my eyes to his. “I’d like to try this again,” I say softly, and he gives me an accepting smile in return.

Taking him by the hand, I lead him all the way into the living room and over to a small corner chair that I got at a garage sale. I turn him so his back is to the chair and bring my fingers up to the edge of his boxers again. His erection hasn’t diminished a bit, and that gives me heart.

“Can I try again?” I ask him hesitantly as I look at my fingers hovering right over his hardness.

Tenn slips a finger under my chin, and he raises my face to his. His eyes are soft and his smile is tender. “Yeah, Goldie… try it again.”

Giving him a smile of my own, I take a deep breath. I let my fingers settle in over the tip of his cock, lightly stroking it. “Okay… so, this might not sound very sexy but the truth is… when I first opened your jeans up and saw your erection, my mouth actually watered.”

Tenn lets out a hum of approval and his eyes start to glitter.

“Truth is,” I say quietly. “I’ve never, ever had my mouth water for a man before. It was always just… an act. A way to control.”

“Casey,” Tenn whispers, and his fingers thread once again into my hair to cup my head.

“And I’m really, really dying to get a taste of you,” I say hesitantly, hoping that I’m doing this right. “I feel starved and the only way I can get filled up is by sucking your cock. Just your cock will do though.”

“Jesus,” Tenn mutters, his eyes sizzling now with lust. “Now that may be the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Joy courses through me because I hear the truth in his words. “Really?” I ask hopefully, not daring to believe it’s really so, because I thought I sounded awkward and amateurish.

“Goldie,” Tenn breathes out in a rush as his fingers tighten their hold on my head, “if you don’t get on your knees and put my dick in your mouth soon, I’m going to die here, okay?”

I grin at him, give him a wink for good measure, and say, “Okay. I’m on it, Chief.”

“That right there,” he mutters. “Not sexy.”

Chuckling, I slide my hands into the waistband of his boxers. I push them and his jeans down over his hips, gently freeing my target. Giving him a sly smile, I graze my fingers up his chest, flatten my palms there, and then push him backward until he falls down into the chair.

I step up confidently in between his legs, and this isn’t robot Casey talking, but the woman whose mouth is still watering for this man. “It’s better if you sit down for this. I wasn’t joking when I said it could bring you to your knees.”

Tenn laughs, his eyes squinting and bringing out thirty-three years of laugh lines at the corner. He stretches his legs out confidently, one on either side of me, and takes his cock in his hand. With a languid smile, he starts stroking himself, and I’m mesmerized to watch him do so. He’s so sexually confident in himself, which is something that I have absolutely no experience with. All the men I’ve been with have been so wrapped up in themselves that they would never think it would be sexy or pleasurable to me to watch a man masturbate.

But this… watching Tenn move his hand roughly as he jerks himself… I could get used to this.

“What you waiting for, Goldie?” he asks, now moving his other hand down to fondle his balls.

I blink hard and shake my head. “Sorry, but damn… that’s really hot watching you doing that.”

“Get on your knees, baby,” Tenn commands, although I can see the amusement in his eyes over my admission. “Let me see what you’ve got.”

I drop to my knees and as my hands reach toward him, his own drop away to give me access. I take him firmly by the base, my hand coming nowhere close to even being able to wrap fully around him. His skin is so warm and soft, yet when I contract my fingers, he’s as hard as concrete underneath.

Leaning forward and dipping my chin, I run my tongue up the base of his cock, wiggling it back and forth under the sensitive tip. Tenn hisses in pleasure.

So velvety soft. Warm. Salty.

“You’re delicious,” I whisper reverently and then I lick him around the tip, lapping at the wetness seeping out. Tenn grunts and both hands come up to fist my hair, one at the side of my head, the other at the back.

“Suck it,” Tenn groans as his hands push down on my head. “You’re driving me fucking nuts, Goldie.”

“Don’t want that,” I murmur as I graze my lips down the side of his shaft.

“Casey,” Tenn murmurs, and it’s my name said as a prayer as much as it is a plea.

No man has ever said my name like that before… with such raw need.

I lean up on my knees and bend my head further, taking him from the top and pulling him all the way back into my mouth. What part of his cock I can’t fit in my mouth, I make up for with strong strokes of my hand. I hollow my cheeks and suck just as he told me to do.

“Fuck. Christ. Fuck,” Tenn groans as his hands tighten on me hard and his hips start thrusting upward. “Going to come in that hot, sweet mouth of yours, Goldie.”

I moan my agreement and move over him faster, jerking at him roughly from the bottom. Tenn’s hips move in shallow thrusts, and I’m not sure who’s fucking who at this point but knowing that I’m driving him this crazy causes that space between my legs to clench hard. God, I’m so turned on right now by what I’m doing to him that I drop my free hand to my shorts and slip my fingers into the waistband. Straight into my panties. Right down between my legs where I start to rub at myself.

Tenn shifts, I hear him groan, and then he says, “Holy fuck. Are you fingering yourself?”

On an upstroke, I raise my eyes to peek up at him and see he’s leaning over the side of the chair to get a look at what I’m doing. His pupils are dilated and his irises are so dark, they’re almost the color of denim.

“Yes, baby,” Tenn murmurs urgently while he stares at my hand working in between my legs. “Make yourself come.”

Oh, my God, that’s so freakin’ sexy that I falter. His cock slips free of my mouth, and my fingers go still against my wet flesh. Tenn drags his fevered eyes slowly over to my face and blinks at me hard.

A slow smile creeps over those lips, and Tenn gently pushes on my head. “Get those lips back on my cock, Goldie.”

What? Oh, yeah… stellar blow job in progress. I grin at him and start to bend back over his lap when he pulls on my hair to stop me. As I raise my eyes back up, his eyes cut downward. “And get those fingers moving again. I want to watch you make yourself come while you blow me.”

Oh, God. Oh, God.

He’s a master at dirty talk. A complete genius. I’m truly humbled by his greatness.

I swallow Tenn’s dick back down—he groans loudly—and my fingers start to circle and rub. I’m so wet right now that my fingers glide sinuously over my clit, making it over-sensitized.

My fingers fly, Tenn’s hips buck his cock to the back of my throat, and the room is filled with lust and heavy breathing.

A soft chant starts from Tenn. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

My blood rages through my veins, and my spine starts to tingle with an orgasm. I rub harder against my clit and wrap my lips tight around his shaft as I suck.

With a massive push upward, Tenn surges into me, then he goes absolutely still while he roars out, “Oh God.”

Just as he starts coming in my mouth, my own orgasm breaks free and I whimper against the warm, salty fluid that I drink down as soon as he gives it to me. My body shudders, I give another strong pull against his cock with my mouth, which causes Tenn to groan again, and then I’m collapsing onto his lap.

I’m barely cognizant, depleted of strength and completely malleable. Tenn reaches down and gently pulls my own hand from my pants, causing another tiny whimper to escape me as my fingers graze over my clit. He lifts me up onto his lap, shifting me onto one leg so I don’t crush his half-hard dick, and presses my face into his chest. I try to raise my arms to loop around the back of his neck, but I don’t have the strength and they flop uselessly down to rest on the tops of my legs.

When our breathing evens out, Tenn grasps my chin with his hand, pushing me away from his chest just far enough to give him room to bend down to kiss me. His lips are soft, his tongue taking a gentle swipe at mine before he pulls away.

“You okay, Goldie?” he murmurs through a knowing smile.

“Never better,” I mutter with a dopey smile of my own.

He chuckles and kisses me again… swiftly this time. When he pulls away, his eyes are serious. “I have to leave day after tomorrow to head back to Raleigh. I’m going to see Zoey for a few days, and then I have to head up to New Jersey to visit a buddy of mine.”

Suddenly, the vague haze of post-coital bliss starts to dissipate and disappointment starts welling up. For the first time ever, I don’t want a man to go. I want him to stay.

“So, this is it, huh?” I ask, not liking at all the feelings that are battling inside of me. One part relieved, because I know just how dangerous my involvement with Tenn is, and the other part disappointed, because he makes me start to consider that I might want something more.

“I’m coming back,” Tenn says softly. “I mean… to North Carolina. I want to spend some time with Zoey over the summer before she starts school. I’m actually thinking of relocating so I can be near her.”

“Oh,” I say thoughtfully, wondering what that all means.

“And I’d like to come back here to visit… to see you again,” he adds on.

Yes, I’d like that very much.

I think.

I mean… just for some hot-as-hell sex, nothing more. Because I can’t continue to open up my boundaries to him.

Presumably taking my silence as reticence, Tenn gruffly asks, “Want me to get going?”

I immediately shake my head and wrap my arms around his neck. Laying my head back on his chest, I say, “I want you to stay here… until you have to leave, that is.”

That’s all I’m willing to commit to at this point.

I can’t see his face, but I can hear his smile in his voice. “Sounds good, Goldie. Real good.”