Текст книги "Somewhere in Between"

Автор книги: Samatha Harris

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

Chapter 10

 

 

Alex (Now)

I couldn’t sleep.

“I’m in love with Drew.” I just kept repeating it over and over, like if I said it enough it would start to make sense. I felt so stupid. This was ludicrous. What was I thinking? This was going to ruin everything. I couldn’t tell him, but if I didn’t tell him it would eat at me.

This was all Wiley’s fault. Why did she have to point this out? I could have lived my life in glorious ignorance, my friendship with Drew intact. Now what?

Frustrated, I jumped out of bed and dragged myself to the bathroom. Maybe a bath would help calm my nerves. I turned on the water as hot as I could stand, letting it fill the tub as I turned to clip my hair up.

As I got undressed, I stared straight ahead without really seeing anything, then slipped into the tub. From the steam coming off the top, I knew my skin should be scorching right now, but I was too numb to feel anything. That was why I couldn’t sleep. I kept shifting from rambling panic to stunned numb silence.

I watched as the water dripped and rippled into the tub from the faucet, begging my mind to clear. Drew was my friend. He was my family, all I had, really. I was so alone when I met him and he saved me. He brought me out of the fog my parents’ death left me in and gave me a home, a chance to be a part of his life.

His family was my family, his friends were my friends, and losing him would mean losing all of them too. I didn’t want to lose the one person who made me feel whole again and the family I loved right along with him. It wasn’t something I wanted to risk for a chance at something I knew would never work out.

Drew and I were always so different. While that seemed to work in our friendship, it would be a disaster in a relationship. We would kill each other. It would be nothing but fighting and misery until one of us finally gave up. Then I would be alone again, with no family and no Drew.

Besides, I was nothing like the girls he was usually interested in, so there was no chance he was interested in me. He had a tendency to go for girls with more silicone than substance. I mean, sure, we’ve harmlessly flirted every now and then, but that was usually due to a lot of alcohol and feeling comfortable with each other. It’s not like he would ever look at me that way. Drew saw me as his best friend, and that is all he saw when he looked at me.

I thought back to the dance in the square. It felt so good to be in his arms. The whole scene was incredibly romantic. An involuntary sigh escaped my lips. No! No reading into little things. Shit like that is what makes perfectly normal women lose their minds after rejection. If I started reading into every look or sweet gesture of affection, I would end up in the fetal position in a dark corner of my apartment muttering “The signs, the signs.”

No! I will not be that girl! I won’t! I made my decision. I would force myself to get past this. Things would stay the same between Drew and me. I wouldn’t lose the best thing in my life because I was stupid enough to fall for him. Resigned, I pulled myself from the tub, dried off, and dropped back into bed. I could do this. I could.

***

Ping, ping.

“Ugh,” I grumbled.

Ping, ping.

Stupid bicycle.

Ping, ping.

I finally registered what was going on and sat up, squinting against the light coming through my window. I reached over to the nightstand for my phone. It wasn’t there. I made a sound somewhere between a sigh and a yawn.

As I got out of bed, I noticed my crystal clutch sitting on the chair in the corner of my room. I clicked it open and pulled out the phone before it could ping at me again. I swiped a finger across the screen and it lit up with three messages from Drew.

Drew: Football in the park, you coming?

 

Drew: Red?

 

Drew: You coming?

 

I didn’t think I was ready to face him just yet, but I usually went to the games. If I didn’t show, he would think something was up and come find me. This was yet another downside of falling for your best friend, the concern for your well-being. Normally, this was something I valued. Drew cared about me. Great. However since my revelation last night, Drew caring about me would make it damn near impossible to avoid him. Usually, when you fall for a guy who you know doesn’t feel the same way, you can hide and avoid the places he will be ‘til you can get over it. I don’t have that luxury.

Taking a deep breath, I replied.

Alex: Yeah sorry see you there .

 

Drew: Want me to wait for you?

 

No way was I ready to be alone with him. Seeing him at all was going to be hard. Being alone with him was going to be torture.

Alex: No go on. Need a shower.

 

Drew: K

 

I headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I rested my head in my spot next to the sink, wishing I’d followed through with the idea to hang a pillow here.

I finished brushing my teeth and looked into the mirror. My eyes were puffy and swollen from crying and had deep purple circles under them. I looked like someone had punched me in the face. No amount of concealer would cover that. At least in the park, I could get away with sunglasses.

I brushed my hair and threw on shorts, a tank top, and my green chucks. I grabbed a blanket, my keys, and the biggest pair of sunglasses I had on the way out the door. Time to get this over with.

I stopped at Down the Street on my way to Grover Park. I ordered an extra large coffee and a dozen donuts for the guys. Well, they could have the leftovers since I was fully prepared to eat my feelings.

When I got to the park, the game was already in full swing. I spotted Millie sitting in a camping chair under our tree and headed in her direction. She broke into a smile and waved when she spotted me.

“Hey, preggo!”

“Hey, Alex.” She giggled.

I handed her the donuts and backed away slowly. It was the safe thing to do. Just hand the food to the pregnant woman and nobody gets hurt. I spread out my blanket and dropped down, crossing my legs beneath me.

The guys had been playing for a bit. They were already covered in dirt and sweat. They played what they called touch football, although if they touched me like that they would definitely end up breaking a few of my bones.

Drew, Sean, and David were always on the same team. I didn’t know the other guys well. I’m pretty sure one of them was named Frank. I think he was one of David’s old fraternity brothers, but I wasn’t sure. The other guys rarely lingered after the game.

They always played shirts vs. skins. Of course today, because nothing in my life is ever fair, my guys were skins. When I caught sight of a shirtless Drew, I sighed and looked up at the sky. Someone up there hates me. What girl wouldn’t want to enjoy a beautiful afternoon watching a bunch of incredibly hot men run around without their shirts?

Today I just wanted Drew to put on a chicken suit or his grandmother’s muumuu, anything to make him less attractive. What did I get? His gorgeously toned chest and chiseled abs glistening in the sun, his muscles straining as he reached to catch the ball. Seriously, when did my life turn into an ad for Pac Sun? I groaned and dropped my head in my hands.

“You okay?” Millie asked, her eyebrows pulling together with concern.

“Yeah, a little hung over, I guess,” I lied.

She nodded. “Oh, right! The gala was last night. How was it?”

“Great. We had a great time.” I looked down into my coffee cup.

She frowned. “You don’t sound great.”

“No, really, it was amazing.” I tried and failed to add more enthusiasm to my voice. “The dress was a hit. Thanks again, Millie.”

“You are very welcome.” She smiled, putting her hand on my shoulder.

We turned our attention to the guys just as Sean’s face was pushed into the dirt. I sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. That had to hurt. Drew jogged over, extending a hand to help him up, then clapped him on the back.

I turned to Millie, who was waving to David on the field. They were so cute.

“I ran into Peter Russell last night.”

“Really? I heard he moved to England.”

“Yeah,” I said. “He just moved back to town. He’s working for Franklin & Burke.”

I picked up a doughnut, breaking off a piece and popping it in my mouth.

“How’d he look? Bald? Fat?” she asked with a smirk.

“No, he looks the same. Better, actually.” I began anxiously breaking up my doughnut into smaller pieces. “He asked me to dinner.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Better not tell Drew.”

“Why?”

“Drew can’t stand him.” She shrugged.

“I know that. What happened?”

She faced the field, squinting her eyes. “I don’t really know. David was kind of hush hush about it.”

Huh? I was dying to figure out what was up with them. Peter was kind of a tool back then, but Drew had his moments too. He was a different guy now. Surely, Peter wasn’t the same sorority skirt chaser he was in college.

“So, are you going?” Millie never took her eyes off the game.

“Yeah.” I looked at Drew on the field. He glanced over at me and waved. “If he calls me.” I took a long drink of my coffee. “Actually, we talked about me decorating his loft.”

“That’s not all he wants,” Millie said, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

“Oh, stop.” I tossed a piece of doughnut at her.

The guys were finishing up. They shook hands and high fived the other team, then turned and headed toward us.

David leaned down and kissed Millie, first on the lips, then on her full stomach. She beamed at him. They were so sweet that I didn’t know whether to be insanely jealous or throw up. I looked up at Drew, but he was watching his brother with an affectionate smile. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and winked. What the hell was that? No! Alex, damn it! You are doing it again. Stop looking for signs that aren’t there!

The man really was beautiful, even completely covered in dirt and sweat. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. His shorts hung low on his hips. His hair was damp and sticking up, but he still managed to look sexy as hell. It was just not fair.

Sean dropped down on the blanket beside me, knocking me over and out of my Drewl session. Ha! Get it!

“Sean!” I pushed him away from me. “You’re all gross!”

He laughed and pulled me against his chest. “Oh, come on, Alex, you know you want me.” He wiped his dirty, sweaty face against my shirt, using me as a human gym towel. I thrashed, finally pulling myself away from him. He laughed and lay back on the blanket, folding his arms behind his head and closing his eyes. “She wants me.”

I stood up and chuckled. Drew’s shoulders were shaking in silent laughter. He looked at me and I gave him a half smile. It was the best I could do at the moment

David clapped his hands together. “The Den?”

He looked at all of us for confirmation. We nodded our agreement and packed up our stuff. We loaded Millie’s chair, the cooler, and the rest of the stuff into David’s car, then headed the few blocks to The Den.

The place was slow for a Saturday, but it was still early. We waved a greeting to Papa Jack and crowded around our usual table, taking our usual positions.

Since we were inside, I couldn’t hide behind my sunglasses anymore. I just prayed that I didn’t look half as bad as I did earlier. I already planted the hangover story with Millie, so if I stuck to that I would be fine. I raised my glasses to the top of my head and rubbed my face. Millie gave me a sympathetic half smile. Yep, still looked like shit.

Bridget wasn’t in yet, so I offered to get the first round from the bar. When I stood up, Drew did too, offering to help. Shit! So much for not being alone with him. Papa Jack started pouring beers and putting them on the counter as Drew leaned on the bar next to me.

“You okay?” He sounded a little concerned.

I waved my hand to dismiss him, looking toward Papa Jack. “Yeah, just a little hung over.” Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye contact.

“You sure? You didn’t really drink that much.”

Oh no, he was fishing. I needed a distraction. Papa Jack put Millie’s Ginger Ale and a Guinness in front of me. Perfect! I handed them to Drew. He reluctantly took the hint and went to bring the drinks to the table. He looked back at me with a frown. Please let him drop this. I begged whichever god was willing to listen and exhaled as Papa Jack set the rest of the drinks down in front of me.

“You okay?” Come on, not him too!

“Yeah, Pops, I’m good.”

He put his huge paw over my hand. “Tell me who he is and I will kick his ass.” A short laugh burst from my lips as tears started to prick behind my eyes. It’s my ass you’re going to have to kick. I gave him a brave smile, took a breath, grabbed the drinks, and headed back to the table.

Drew’s eyebrows pulled together as I took my seat and passed out the drinks. Lucky for me, Sean started telling us a story about how he picked up some girl using a space pants pick-up line. I gave Sean my full attention, laughing in the right places and trying not to acknowledge Drew staring at the back of my head. He eventually relaxed enough to have a little fun, but I knew he wouldn’t let it go for long. I was in so much trouble.

***

I managed to avoid Drew all day Sunday. He called in the afternoon, but I let it go to voicemail, texting him later to say I was busy with work stuff and would talk to him tomorrow. He was already on red alert that something was wrong. Not talking to him was just easier because I wouldn’t have to lie. I’m a terrible liar, and I especially can’t lie to Drew. He’s like the CIA. He knows everything.

Monday morning came and I was still feeling a bit defeated. I should have been floating on cloud nine after the gala, but I was still feeling pretty raw with the emotional pinball going on in my head. I was not ready to face Gwen and her aggressive cleavage. When I walked into the office, I was assaulted by color and the scent of flowers instead.

Everywhere I looked, on every surface of my office, were bouquets of gorgeous flowers. There were a couple dozen roses in various shades, yeah, but there were also arrangements of sunflowers, gerbera daisies, hydrangeas, lilacs, and peonies. It was insane. I dropped my bag on my desk, turning to Gwen.

“Did somebody die?”

“You tell me. They’re for you.”

“Me?” Holy shit!

She sneered in disgust, rolling her eyes, “Yes. You. Read the card.”

I turned back to my desk and saw the small gold envelope propped up against my keyboard. Who would do all this? I picked up the card. My name was written neatly on the front. I lifted the flap and pulled out the white card.

You never gave me your number.

 

Peter gave me his number instead. I’m not one to fall for grand gestures, but who could ignore an entire room full of flowers? I pulled out my phone and shot him a quick text.

Alex: Subtle.

 

Ping, ping. He responded right away.

Peter: I don’t do subtle.

 

That much was obvious.

Peter: Have dinner with me?

 

Why not go out with him? He was charming, good-looking, and maybe just the distraction I needed to get past the thing with Drew. I mean, it wasn’t like it would lead to anything serious. What could it hurt?

When we went out before, it was just to dinner. Then we met once for coffee, but that was it. He just disappeared. I was going through a lot back then, so I figured he wasn’t interested anymore and let it go. Who knows? We’re older and a bit wiser. Maybe this time we could have some fun and see where things end up.

I was typing out a response when my phone vibrated in my hand. He was calling me? I swiped a finger across the screen to answer.

“Hello.”

“I figured I wouldn’t give you a chance to say no.”

“I could still say no over the phone.”

“True, but you have less time to make up an excuse.”

“Touché.” I giggled.

“So will you, Alex McCabe, grant me the honor of taking you to dinner?”

“When?”

“Wednesday work?”

“No. Actually, I have trivia with Drew and the guys at The Den. It’s our thing. We’re there every week.”

“Okay then. Thursday?”

“Thursday’s good.”

“Great. I will pick you up at seven?”

“I’ll text you the address.”

“‘Til then, Alex.” With that, he hung up. Realizing I never said thank you, I sent a quick text.

Alex: Thank you for the flowers.

 

Peter: Thank you for saying yes.

 

On the verge of gushing, I collected myself and set about organizing my desk for the day. Ping, ping. I smiled, ready to playfully scold Peter for bothering me while I was working. I looked at my phone and saw it wasn’t Peter.

Drew: Lunch? I’ll come by your office.

 

It wasn’t so much a request as a statement. I couldn’t avoid him forever. If I was going to get past this to save our friendship, pushing him away in the process was a bit counterproductive.

Alex: K, one-ish?

 

Drew: See you then.

 

I heard someone clear their throat and looked up to see Madeline in the doorway. Gwen pointed a finger at me without looking up from her computer. Way to sell me out. Madeline approached my desk, trying and failing to hide her smile.

“Well, someone seems to have an admirer.”

“I’m sorry, Madeline. I will clear them out.”

“No need, dear. Just disperse them more around the office, if you don’t mind. It’s a bit overwhelming.” She scrunched up her nose, then trailed a finger over a vase of long stem red roses. “Are they from a certain charming gentleman I met the other night?”

“Drew? No, we’re just friends.”

Madeline raised her eyebrows, giving me a pointed look. “Well, it is a lovely gesture all the same.” She gestured to the roses in front of her. “May I?”

“Of course.” I handed her the large vase.

“Lovely.” She admired them and took the bouquet into her office.

I looked over at Gwen, who was radiating hatred in my direction. Great. Today was going to be fun!

We had a minor disaster at one of the construction sites that had the phones ringing off the hook. I hadn’t had a chance to deal with the greenhouse that was my office yet.

I looked up when I heard a knock on the door frame. Drew was standing in the doorway, holding a single rusty pink rose, my favorite. My heart melted. That was so sweet. He looked around to the sea of flowers crowding my office with wide eyes. Shit!

“Uh, I brought you this, but it looks like you are covered.” He looked at me with the million dollar question in his eyes.

“They’re from Peter!” Gwen announced with mock enthusiasm.

I shot her a glare. She smiled, knowing exactly what she did.

Drew furrowed his brow. “Russell sent you these?”

“They’re going out Thursday night,” she added.

To his credit, Drew shot her a glare. I, however, was plotting her slow and painful death. Maybe I could hang her upside down and smother her with her own breasts.

Drew turned back to me and raised his eyebrows. I nodded. He looked at me with a strange expression—hurt, or maybe sadness—then quickly blinked it away.

“You ready for lunch?” His smile seemed forced. I nodded and grabbed my bag. He thrust the rose at me as he turned to head out. I was a bit stunned. He was pissed. That much was obvious, but was he jealous?

I brought the rose to my face and inhaled the sweet scent with a smile, then followed him out the door. I didn’t care that my office was filled with every flower within five miles. This was the one I wanted.

***

We ended up at the Mexican place just up the street. Drew didn’t say a word to me the entire walk there. By the time we placed our orders with the waiter, I was fuming. What the hell was his problem? I could date whoever I wanted. I’m a big girl. He had no right to make me feel bad for going out with Peter.

He was tearing his straw wrapper into little pieces, refusing to make eye contact with me. That’s it!

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I demanded, a little louder than I intended.

He snapped his head up. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing is wrong with me,” I said, my voice wavering.

“Bullshit, Red!” He threw the rest of the straw wrapper down on the table and sat back in his chair. “You show up at the park looking like you haven’t slept. You avoided me all day yesterday, claiming some crap with work. I come to take you to lunch so we can talk and find out that you are dating Peter fucking Russell.”

I didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t wrong. I looked at my hands, fighting the tears that were trying to force their way out. I couldn’t tell him the truth, even though his eyes were begging me to come clean.

I let out a breath. “I had a rough night after I left you. I couldn’t sleep, and I wasn’t feeling great on Saturday. I was trying to shake it on Sunday, which is why I didn’t call you back. I just didn’t want you to worry. Guess that plan didn’t pan out.”

Technically, I told him the truth. I just left out some of the juicier details.

He studied me for a moment. “You sure that’s all it was?”

“Yeah, I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.”

He didn’t look completely convinced. He ran a hand over his face. “You can tell me anything. You know that, and I always worry about you. Just be straight with me, okay. I thought…”

He stopped talking when the waiter came over with our food. Relief spread though me, and I was thankful for the interruption. As we dug into our food, he seemed to have moved past his line of questioning, or so I thought.

“So, you’re really going out with Russell?” The disgust in his voice was very apparent.

“He asked me to dinner.” I pushed my food around my plate. “He wants me to help decorate his loft.”

Drew scoffed. “Yeah, I’m sure that is all he wants.”

“What is it with you two?”

Drew sighed. “It’s a long story. He’s not a good guy, Red. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’m a big girl, Drew. I can handle myself.”

Drew narrowed his eyes at me. He was being a bit overprotective. Whatever happened in the past didn’t really matter. People change. Well, hopefully.