Текст книги "Ruin"

Автор книги: Rachel Van Dyken

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 14 страниц)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Time was running out fast. I could feel it from the tingling in my hands to the erratic beating of my heart — why was I suddenly finding it so damn hard to realize the end was near? Probably because she made me feel new—like a new beginning.

Weston

I gripped the counter and told myself to keep all the contents of my stomach in, instead of out.

My cell rang.

David.

I pressed ignore and started my typical breathing exercises. It wasn’t healthy for me to panic. In and out, in and out. I held my breath and chanced another look in the mirror.

My phone went off again. This time it was James.

Time for your next set of meds.

Right, like I wanted to take more pills that made me feel shittier, and quite possibly would ruin my date.

I’m fine. I texted back and slipped the phone into my pocket.

I flexed my arms as I braced the counter and breathed in and out through my nose as the nausea came and went. I couldn’t go on like this. The last set of drugs before Christmas were supposed to be the strongest, the doctor’s final hat trick, only I was worried they were hurting more than helping. If I had to keep taking them I wouldn’t be able to play football. I wouldn’t be able to run. I wouldn’t be able to live. I’d be lying in bed sick as a dog as the days ran into each other, until finally, I just didn’t wake up.

“Hey.” The door pushed open. Gabe walked himself right in and shut the door behind him. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Not the time, Gabe.”

“The hell it isn’t!” He grabbed me by the shirt, not a smart move considering I had at least five inches on him, but whatever. I was too weak to care. “What the hell are you taking? Oxy? Meth?”

I laughed. Not because it was funny, but because for a second I wished it was a drug problem. Damn, how pathetic was that?

“No.” I bit down on my lip. The nausea was finally passing, the feeling returning to my extremities. “Nothing like that.”

“You better not be messing with her.” Gabe released me and hit the door with his hand. “I swear I’ll kill you if you hurt her.”

“I just want to be her friend. Honest.” I lied. I wanted more. But people didn’t always get what they wanted.

The nausea came back full force, causing me to double over in pain as, I swear, knives started attacking my stomach. “Hold on, give me a second.”

“Dude.” Gabe put his hand on my back. “What’s wrong? You got the flu or something?”

“Or something,” I said through clenched teeth. “I’m fine, I just get… episodes.” It was the best I could do without lying.

“Like nervous episodes?” Gabe asked.

“Yeah, like that.”

“Sorry.” He swore. “I just… that girl is important okay? Don’t ask me how or why I know she is, I just know. There’s something about her. She’s frail and I don’t want you messing with her just because she’s a hot piece of ass okay?”

“I swear…” It hurt like hell but I stood to my full height. “…that I’m not messing with her. I want to help, and I want to be her friend.”

“Friends don’t kiss.”

I forced a laugh. “You sound like her.”

Gabe didn’t join in the laughter. Great, I’d pissed him off again.

“Look.” I crossed my arms and tried to concentrate on anything but the pain in my chest and stomach. “I like that girl. I won’t hurt her. Hell, I won’t even touch her again. I’m not going to steal her virginity. I’m not going to make her promises I can’t keep.”

“How do I know I can believe you?”

“Tell you what.” I put my arm around his and opened the door. “Why don’t you just trust me, and if I do something that royally pisses you off or I screw up, you can beat the shit out of me. Deal?”

Gabe was silent and then he held out his hand. “It will be a pleasure kicking your ass.”

“Too bad you won’t get the chance.” I shook his hand just as Lisa walked through the door.

“Uh, everything okay?”

“Perfect.” Gabe’s grip tightened against mine. “We were just talking sports.”

Lisa snorted. “Fine. Can we start the movie?”

“Sure thing.” I released Gabe’s hand. He gave me a swift nod.

When we made our way back into the room, Lisa was sitting on one end of the couch and Gabe maneuvered next to her, leaving just the love seat for me and Kiersten. At least the night was going to end on a good note.

Lisa pressed play.

“Wait!” I yelled, holding up my hand. I grabbed the drinks Lisa had brought in and pulled a tiny paper umbrella from my pocket. Grinning, I dropped it onto the side of Kiersten’s drink. “A fruity drink with an umbrella.”

“You got any more of those in there?” Lisa asked.

I laughed, finally feeling more relaxed now that the date was well on its way and Kiersten knew my plan. “Sure.” With a tug I had about five different colored umbrellas set out on the coffee table. “Okay, now we can start the movie.”

“Thank you.” Kiersten’s lips grazed my ear, making me horny as hell during the opening credits. “For my best first date ever, my umbrella, my kiss, and my book. The way you’re blowing through the list we won’t have much to do in a week.”

My stomach clenched.

Hell, no.

What was I thinking?

I needed to go slower.

I shrugged and whispered back, “Well, the other tasks are a lot harder. It may take a while.”

“Fine by me.” She reached for my hand and didn’t let go.

I looked up.

Gabe was watching us intently, his eyes narrowing as he looked at her hand then back at my face. I felt stuck. I wanted to date her. In a normal situation I would have flipped him off and thrown her into my bedroom without a second thought.

But now?

I wanted to treasure the feeling of her fingertips against mine, because I was pretty sure in a few months… I wouldn’t have that luxury.

Chapter Twenty-Four

I hate how much I like him. Almost as much as I hate it when I’m not able to be with him all the time. I am falling way too hard and fast. Someone catch me, stop me, call me crazy, slap me — geez, just don’t let me get my hopes up.

Kiersten

It was officially two months since I met Wes. Ever since our first date, I’d seen him almost every day for lunch and at least twice a week for movie nights at our place.

Basically, he was everywhere. A permanent fixture in my life. So regular in fact, that people no longer stared, they just seemed to expect it.

The only thing I couldn’t put my finger on was the fact that he was losing weight. I mean, he still looked hot, but his muscles seemed more defined, his jaw even sharper than before. When I mentioned it, he just laughed off my concern and said practices were hell.

“So what chapter we on?” Wes dropped his lunch onto our regular table and took a swig of water.

I grinned. “Last one.”

“No way!” He pulled me in for a hug. “Killer job, it only took us over fifty days to finish one book.”

“You know what that means?” I bit down on my lip and moved closer to him, scraping my chair against the floor.

“What?” He leaned in and flicked part of my hair. Good Lord, the boy was obsessed with hair, or maybe it was just with red. I didn’t know which, but he was always touching it as if somehow my hair was going to fall out or disappear.

I swatted his hand away. “Just means we need another book when we finish. I’m thinking Mansfield Park or…” My voice trailed off. His face turned pale as he broke eye contact and fidgeted with his food.

“What?” He licked his lips and spread his salad around his plate like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to eat it or just torture it.

“We don’t have to read anymore. I mean, I know you have other friends, and it has been every lunch and—”

“Stop.” He rolled his eyes and gave me that sexy grin I was so used to. “I was just upset about Mansfield Park. I don’t really like that story. How about you pick something else and we’ll get started in on it after Thanksgiving break?”

“Okay.” I smiled when he looked at me, but it was hollow. I could feel that it didn’t reach my eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Of course,” he said, almost too fast as he gave me another fake grin and cleared his throat. “Just got a lot of work to do before break, you know?”

“Oh.” I tried not to sound disappointed. “Right, yeah, I have a lot of homework too.”

“Between that and practice…” A shadow fell over his face. “I don’t know. You know how you have rough days?”

“Yeah.” I reached out and placed my hand on his arm. “We all do. It’s good to know you’re not perfect.”

“So far from it.” He reached for my hand and kissed it. “I uh, do sort of have a favor to ask you though.”

“Okay.” I shifted in my seat, suddenly nervous that he was going to ask me to not see him again or do something crazy and start dating, which actually wouldn’t be the first time he’d suggested it. A month ago he jokingly encouraged me to go on a date. I’d slammed the door in his face, and he spent the afternoon apologizing. So right, I overreacted, but it hurt my feelings. I mean, guys weren’t that dense, were they? Couldn’t he tell I liked him? As in, a lot more than he liked me?

I clenched my hands tightly in my lap and waited for the inevitable.

“Will you spend Thanksgiving break with me and my dad?”

So not what I was expecting.

“Huh?”

“Nothing, never mind.” He reached for his tray and started to stand, but I grabbed his wrist.

“Wes, I’m not saying no, I just didn’t expect that.”

“Yeah?” His hands were shaking, either he was nervous or coming down with something. “What were you expecting?”

“Oh, you know… for you to try to set me up on another date and hurt my feelings.”

Wes laughed loudly, earning the attention of people around the cafeteria. “Right. I think I learned my lesson last time, don’t you?”

I shrugged.

“Shit.” He let out a heavy sigh and grabbed my hand. “You know I like you, I just—”

“—don’t date freshman.” I cleared my throat nervously.

“And don’t want Gabe to kick my ass.”

“Please!” I rolled my eyes. “Like he could kick your ass.”

His eyes clouded over before he gave me another heart-stopping smile. “I’ll tell you what.” He leaned in. “We’ll date.”

“What?”

“For two weeks.” He grinned and held up two fingers. “For two weeks you’re mine. We’ll date, we’ll hold hands – more than we do now.” He brushed his thumb over my knuckles as he searched my eyes. “And at the end of two weeks, you’ll realize I’m not as cool as you think I am, and move on to greener pastures.”

I felt my eyes narrow. “Is there a catch?”

“Of course.” He laughed and tightened his grip on my hand as he leaned in. “You have to come home with me for the first week. That’s Thanksgiving break, and then…” He stood, pushing his chair away from the table and got down on both knees. “And then you have to promise to be my date for Homecoming.”

My mouth dropped open.

Was Weston Michels – football god – celebrity – holy hunk of hotness – on his knees in front of me asking me, not only to meet his dad, but to go to Homecoming?

“Kind of uncomfortable down here.”

I laughed and helped him to his feet throwing my arms around his neck. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

“Wait, is that a yes?” Wes swung me around the room and then did something so out of character I almost missed it.

He kissed me as if we really were dating.

He hadn’t touched me since the first date we went on.

His lips brushed mine briefly and then harder as he set me on my feet and wrapped his arms around my waist. With little effort, he lifted me onto the table and cupped my face. “Thank you.”

“For what?” I said breathlessly.

“Saying yes.” He was totally serious. His face had that same shadow as before.

I touched his smooth jaw with my fingertips. “You really are having a rough day, aren’t you?”

He clenched his teeth and gave a jerky nod.

Without thinking I slid my arms around his neck and held him as tight as I could. “I think the star quarterback is allowed to have rough days, as long as…” I let my voice trail off.

“As long as what?” he said, taking the bait and pulling back so our lips were really close again.

“As long as he promises to always share them with that nerdy freshman he keeps hanging out with.”

“Not nerdy.” He kissed my mouth. “Beautiful.” And kissed me again. “Sexy.” And again. “Gorgeous hair—”

“What is it with you and hair?” I laughed against his neck as he interlaced his fingers with mine.

“It’s precious.” He shrugged helping me off the table. “That’s all.”

“Hair and hearts,” I murmured. “Weird obsessions, but okay. I’ll allow you some quirkiness on behalf of your hotness factor.”

“How very gracious of you.” He chuckled, kissing my hand. “Now let’s eat before you go to your next class. And then packing. I’ve got a freshman to take home for the week.”

Yeah, I was probably never going to lose the smile on my face. Ever.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Yeah, Gabe was going to murder me in my sleep.

Weston

I checked my phone. An hour had gone by. I’d figured Gabe would have stopped by my room already to yell or throw things or punch me in the face.

I expected him to at least send me a nasty text message about not keeping my promise.

A knock sounded on my door. Smiling, I opened it expecting to see a large fist flying towards my jaw. Instead it was David and James.

Ugh. I’d rather be punched.

“How is your day progressing?” James asked sounding oh–so-mechanical and ridiculous.

“Fantastic. I’ve got a date for Homecoming.” I sat on my bed and glared.

“Do you normally have trouble getting dates?” David laughed.

“No.” I scowled. “This girl’s special.”

James shifted on his feet. “Not to bring up a sore subject—”

“Then don’t bring it up,” I snapped.

“—But,” James continued. “Do you think it’s a smart move to get a girl involved in your life at this point? You’ve refused to take any tests until the day of your surgery. You have no idea what is going on in your body, and you want to involve someone as innocent as that girl?”

“Look—” I swear my teeth were gnashing together. “It’s not your business. So stay out of it.”

“It is my business.” James tilted his head. “I’m your shrink. Your father hired me to look after your well being.”

“My father hired you because he doesn’t want me to lose my shit and commit suicide like my brother. You aren’t my surgeon, and you sure as hell aren’t my friend. I’ll do what I want – with or without your permission.”

David heaved a sigh. “Wes—”

“Do you need anything else?” I interrupted.

With a curse, David pulled out his notebook. “I just need to document how you’re feeling today. You know the drill. You get the drugs that cost a fortune and haven’t been tested by the FDA yet, and we have to write it down. I don’t do this to torture you. I’m not your doctor, I am your friend, and I’ve been your bodyguard since you threw your first football, so for the love of God, just tell me how you feel.”

I felt guilty as hell. David was right. He’d been there through it all. It was the only way I could even stand having James around. David was family to me, and I was treating him like shit.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, my voice hoarse with too much emotion. I let out a sigh and began talking about my symptoms. “I’m losing feeling in my right leg. I’m not sure if it’s because I keep getting tackled or if it’s the medicine. I throw up almost every morning, my chest doesn’t hurt as much as it used to, and the nightmares have started to slowly go away. I’m not feeling depressed, just anxious, like God has this giant ass timer in his hands and is just waiting to hit end.”

“Very good.” James cleared his throat and pressed stop on his recorder. Hadn’t known he was recording but whatever.

David reached across the space between us and touched my arm. “Thank you, Wes. We’ll leave you to your packing. You sure you still want to drive yourself?”

“Yup.” I grinned, remembering Kiersten and her excitement. “I’m bringing my girlfriend.”

James sighed heavily, but David grinned and said, “Good for you.”

“Thanks.”

They left the room and I was emotionally ready to throw a bat at anything that talked to me.

“Hey, those goons bothering you?” Gabe said launching himself into my room just as David and James left.

“Always.” I groaned. “So please, punch me, get it over with.”

Gabe looked guilty.

Oh no.

“Are you sick?” He asked in a quiet voice.

“How much did you hear?” I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t, if I did, I’d probably lose it and then just want to punch myself for crying like a baby.

“I know one’s a shrink and the other says you’re on some sort of drugs that make you sick, and then I heard something about surgery.”

A few seconds went by. Hell, I hadn’t told anyone. I didn’t want anyone to know, because I wanted to feel normal if it was my last autumn on this earth.

“Yeah, man.” I bit down on my lip, still refusing to make eye contact. “I’m sick.”

“How sick?” Gabe sat in the chair by my desk. I could see his feet tapping against the floor whether it was in nervousness or just awkwardness I couldn’t tell because I was still being a pansy and staring at the floor.

“Really sick.” My voice broke. Damn it.

“Are you going to get better?”

I laughed without humor and finally lifted my gaze to meet his. “I have no idea. I find out in four weeks.”

“What happens in four weeks?”

“Nosy bastard, aren’t you?”

He grinned and gave me a haphazard shrug.

I sighed and shook my head. “Surgery, and if it doesn’t work, or if I die during it, yeah, well… it’s curtains I guess on either end.”

“So it’s going to be fine then? You’ll be fine?”

“Define ‘fine’?” I laughed, the sound harsh in my quiet room. “If dying is fine, then yeah, I’ll be fine. If living for a few more months while my body gets slowly stolen away from me by unhealthy cells, then yup. Fine, fine, fine, so damn, fine.” I wiped my face with my hands and groaned.

“She doesn’t know, does she?” Gabe asked.

“Hell, no.”

“Don’t tell her.”

“What?” My head snapped up. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“It will only freak her out, especially since you’re going to be fine, right?” He gave me a confident smile. “You can beat it.”

It was the first time someone had said that to me.

Everyone else had been so concerned. David about the symptoms, my dad about depression, nobody – not even the doctor – had told me I was strong enough to take it.

I nodded jerkily, trying not to cry like a baby and said, “You’re right. I will beat it.”

“Or I’ll beat you.” Gabe laughed. “For not only breaking her heart but dying after Homecoming. I mean, seriously? Even you have to admit how messed up that is.”

“Yeah, well.” I kicked off my shoes and lay down on the bed. “I like her. I want to spend time with her and time isn’t something I really have. It’s a luxury you know? People don’t realize how lucky they are. Do you even realize how much it pisses me off when people complain about silly things like their lunch being crappy or their coffee tasting bad? I would drink shitty coffee and eat rotten food for the rest of my life if I could just have a life. You know?”

“Yeah,” Gabe said softly. “I can’t say I know what you’re going through, but I can imagine how bad that would suck, to know that you may not be here to enjoy even the shitty things life has to offer, because at least you’d be here, at least you’d be—”

“Alive,” I finished. “I’d be alive.”

“So live now,” Gabe challenged. “Go kiss that freshman you convinced me you had no feelings for.”

“I plan on it.” My grin was so wide it hurt.

“Good talk.” Gabe laughed. “I’ll just show myself out.”

“Gabe?” I asked once he reached the door.

He turned and waited.

“Thanks for listening.”

He gave me a salute. “Yeah, well, I’m still going to kick your ass if you break her heart.”

“Don’t worry. I imagine she’s going to be the one doing the breaking.”

“How do you figure?” He crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame.

“Because in the end, I won’t have anything to give her that’s worth having.”

“Do yourself a favor.” Gabe pushed away from the door, “Let her be the one to make that choice in the end. Not you.”

I nodded. Yeah, I could do that. I owed her that much, and I’d sure as hell die trying. I smirked at the double meaning.

Gabe waved goodbye and walked off. Who would have thought Gabe had a heart? Or that he was that deep? Just goes to show what you miss in life when you aren’t really looking.

Seek and you’ll find.

Act like an ass and you’ll only see your reflection in the mirror.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Holy crap. I was going to eat turkey in front of Randy Michels. Uncle Jobob was going to flip!

Kiersten

“He got down on bended knee?” Lisa screeched as she ran around my room in a frenzy. “What did you do?”

“I said yes, of course.” I laughed, throwing some more clothes into my suitcase. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to bring or wear. Uncle Jo about crapped himself when I told him the plan. He was so happy I was actually doing something that he started crying on the other end of the phone. When I pointed it out, he said a mosquito had flown into his eye. Right, in November.

It also helped matters that he’d idolized Randy Michels for years. I was under strict instructions by my uncle to marry Wes at all costs. He even offered to drive us to Vegas. Yeah, so basically I had the coolest uncle in the world. Nobody could argue that. He and my aunt were planning a huge celebration with the rest of the family. They were going to Skype me on Turkey Day so I could say hi to everyone.

“I would have freaked out.” Lisa fell onto my bed with a loud sigh. “I mean, I’m freaking out now and it didn’t even happen to me!”

“Right.” I tugged a shirt out from underneath her and folded it into my suitcase.

“You’re dating Weston Michels.” She gave another giggle and then jolted up from her bed, “Oh my gosh! Have you sl—”

“Don’t go there.” I pointed at her face. “We’ve kissed, like once – or twice now, actually.”

“What? Twice?” I swear her scream just woke hibernating bears in Alaska. “And you didn’t tell me?”

“I knew,” Gabe said from the door, giving me a wink and slapping me on the shoulder as he walked by.

“Helpful Gabe, thank you.” I glared.

Lisa crossed her arms and pouted. “Everyone knew but me?”

“No, Gabe just saw me doing the walk of shame one morning and jumped to conclusions. I had to clear the air, otherwise he would have assumed the worst, because well, it’s Gabe.”

“True.”

“And the rest is history.”

Lisa seemed satisfied with that answer because about two minutes later she grinned. “Is he a good kisser?”

“Do we have to discuss this now?” Gabe complained. “Wait until I’m not in the room.”

“So leave.” Lisa shrugged.

“Can’t.” He pushed her to the side of the bed so he could sit down. “I have to send off my favorite girl. You know, give her all the normal warnings about what guys think, and why she should never under any circumstances watch a movie with a member of the opposite sex after eleven p.m.”

“Huh?” I stopped folding clothes. “Why not?”

“Sex.” Gabe glared “Studies show that testosterone skyrockets while watching horror movies, add that into nighttime and touching, and you, my friend, have a recipe for a baby rattle and no future.”

Lisa gaped. “Wow, where were you during my sex ed classes in high school?”

“Players know the game well, don’t they?” I teased.

“Only the stars.” He blew me a kiss and held up his hand for a high five.

Lisa slapped it.

I rolled my eyes at her.

“What?” She shrugged. “He really is so talented in the field.”

“And you know this how? Cousins? Remember?”

“Family equals no secrets.” Lisa nodded. “And it helps that three sororities rank guys on a scale of one to ten. Care to take a guess about Gabe’s rating?”

“Five?” I lifted my eyebrows.

Gabe shot me a glare.

“Eleven.” Lisa sounded proud. “They put him in his own ranking.”

“I’ll probably be president one day.” Gabe gave us both cocky grins and patted himself on the back.

“I don’t know why, but I feel the need to congratulate you on being a whore. Why does that feel wrong?” I tapped my finger against my chin. “Oh right, because it is. One of these days it’s going to catch up with you.”

“Never.” Gabe shook his head. “A player plays by the rules, knows the game plan, knows every possible strategy and execution. Me getting caught would be like Chuck Norris dying in a stunt. Um, it won’t happen. Want to know why? Because he’s bad ass.”

“Did you just compare your sexual prowess to Chuck Norris’s karate skills?” I asked.

“Same thing.” Gabe shrugged.

Shaking my head, I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. “Crap! He’s going to be here! Hurry, hurry! I have to put everything in my bag.”

“Everything?” Gabe glanced around the room. “Are you planning on moving in?”

Lisa’s answer was to smack him on the back of the head. With a growl he jumped to his feet and started piling stuff in my suitcases. I even caught him try to throw my alarm clock in. Seriously?

“Done!” Lisa sat on the suitcase while Gabe zipped.

“I love you guys,” I gushed, pulling them both in for hugs.

Gabe patted my head like I was twelve, and Lisa looked like she was going to cry. You’d think I’d never visited a boy’s house before. Oh wait. Right.

Someone knocked on our door.

Lisa ran out of my room banging her arm against the sofa as she made her way across the living room and finally opened up the door.

“Hey, Lisa.” Wes grinned and handed her a paper turkey. “Made it myself.” He peered around her. “My girlfriend ready?”

And my roommate officially swooned against the door, putting the back of her hand against her forehead. Gabe was going to have to give her CPR.

“Be still my beating heart!” Lisa said in a southern drawl. “Sugar, your man is here and he is fine, fine, fine.”

“Sorry.” Gabe grabbed Lisa by the shoulders and steered her away from Wes. “She forgot to take her meds today.”

“It’s okay.” Wes chuckled and then lifted his eyes. I stared straight back.

Time stilled.

Okay so maybe it didn’t stop, but for some reason my heart started racing as he took purposeful steps towards me.

First his hands braced my hips.

And then his mouth found mine.

And it was my turn to swoon.

Gabe and Lisa both whistled but I didn’t care. I wrapped my arms around Wes’s neck, pulling him toward me. Mine. He was mine for two weeks, whatever that meant. Boyfriend.

“My man ready?”

He grinned, kissing my nose. “My freshman ready?”

“Low blow.” I glared.

“Had to be said.” He sighed and kissed my forehead. “I’ll grab your suitcase.”

Lisa sighed while Gabe smacked her on the arm, just as Wes came into the living room with my giant suitcase.

“You do know I didn’t ask you to move in with me, right?” he joked.

“A girl has to be prepared!” Lisa defended me. “And who knows what the Seattle weather will do!”

Wes held up a hand as if to surrender and then nodded towards the door. “Let’s go. My crazy dad awaits.”

“Onward.” I thrust my fist into the air and said goodbye to Gabe and Lisa. I was going to meet the richest man in the world. Awesome, what could go wrong?