Текст книги "Hidden in Lies"

Автор книги: Rachael Duncan

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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 14 страниц)

A COUPLE HOURS later, Alex returns and sends the other security guy home. I don’t even know his name. Whenever Alex is gone, he just sits there silently. It’s pretty awkward. As soon as I see his handsome face, a smile breaks out on my own. I can’t help it. Things finally seem to be looking up for me and I haven’t felt this light in years. It’s as if my future and all its possibilities are right in front of me and all I have to do is grab it. I’m so close to being free.

“Hey, gorgeous. What’s that smile for?” He walks in and shrugs off his coat before hanging it on the rack.

“Nothing, just happy to see you.” Butterflies take flight in my stomach as I think of how I’m going to tell him the good news.

“I thought you were celebrating my absence, remember?”

I shrug. “What makes you think I didn’t?” He chuckles and wraps his arms around me in a hug and rests his chin on top of my head.

“Let’s have a seat in the living room. I want to give you something,” he says. We walk into the other room hand in hand and have a seat on the sofa. He looks down and I’m suddenly nervous. He’s acting strange and is fidgeting. The confident man I’ve grown to love—yes, love—is replaced by this unsure person before me. My knee starts bouncing up and down as I wait for him to tell me what’s going on. He takes a deep breath as his hand runs through his hair. “So, I know Christmas is next week, but I wanted to give you your gift now while we have some privacy.” He pulls a small box out of his pocket and hands it to me.

His nervous energy radiates off of him and is absorbed by me. With shaky hands, I slowly untie the ribbon, looking up at him as I go along. Once the paper is off, I open the box. Nestled in some tissue paper is what looks like a scrap piece of gold metal. It’s not very big, but has a stem of some sort with a mangled piece on top. It almost looks like a mushroom. I grab it and pull it out of the box and notice that the stem is connected to a chain and I realize it’s a necklace. My eyes return to his waiting for some sort of explanation about what this is.

“I’ve seen a lot of dark things in my life, things I’d like to forget. When I first got out of the Army, those memories were constantly threatening to drag me down and engulf me. Consume me. I fought back, not really understanding the purpose of doing so at the time, but something told me I had to. That I couldn’t sit back and let the bad stuff in life drown me out. I know why now.” He grabs my hand and stares into my soul. “You. You’re my purpose. I believe now that you’re the reason I made it out alive and you’re the thing that’s going to keep me in the light.” He releases my hand and grabs the scrap piece of metal, holding it between his thumb and forefinger. He stares at it as he says, “This is one of the bullets they pulled out of my arm on the last mission I went on. I got so damn lucky that day whereas my guys—my brothers—didn’t. I’ve carried this in my pocket every day for two years as a reminder to be thankful for life. Because in the blink of an eye, it can all be taken away.” His focus comes back to me as he continues. “But I don’t need it anymore. You’re my reminder and I thank God every day for saving me and getting me home because it ultimately led me to you.”

I don’t try to stop the tears. That was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. I lean forward, wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss him. I can taste the salt of my tears, and I use that to pour every bit of emotion I feel for Alex into this kiss. All the apprehension about telling him I’m leaving Cal flies out of the window as Alex reciprocates my affection. Before things get too carried away, I pull back. “I have something for you too.” I stand up and pull on his hand so that he follows me. Once we’re in the bedroom that I’ve been sleeping in, I gesture for him to have a seat on the bed.

“I didn’t have a chance to wrap this,” I say as I dig through a drawer to pull out the gift I made for him. I hand him the small frame. It’s nothing fancy, just a plain, sleek, silver frame, but it’s what’s inside that matters.

“A button?” His head tilts to the side as he stares at the button neatly placed in the center of the glass. He looks up at me, confusion written all over his face.

I sit down next to him on the edge of the bed. “This isn’t just any button, but one of the buttons you so graciously tore off my blouse that day in the kitchen.” A slow, salacious grin spreads across his face. I roll my eyes. “You’re such a perv. That’s not the reason I gave it to you.” Suddenly, I’m nervous again and I understand why Alex was acting bizarre when he had to explain his gift to me.

When I swept up the buttons that were scattered around the kitchen, I had missed this one. There it was sitting in the middle of the island. I could’ve sworn I cleaned that area off, but I looked at it as a sign. Like everything involving Alex, I was drawn to it for some unexplainable reason, so I kept it. At the time, I planned to hold on to it as a memento to my time with Alex.

“That day in the kitchen, I wanted to give myself to you, but we both knew I couldn’t. Things have changed and this button signifies the first step in my journey to finding myself and being happy. A journey that started with you.”

He shakes his head slightly. “I’m still not following you, sweetheart.”

“I’m leaving Cal.” My words come out barely above a whisper. Now that I’ve said it out loud, reality has slammed down on me. I’m terrified of what will happen, how Cal will react, and what my future holds. But looking into Alex’s sweet eyes, I know I can get through all of it with him by my side.

He sits up straight. “What—how—what about your mother?” he stammers through his questions.

I hold up my hand. “I talked to my mom this morning while you were out. Her MS is in remission. She doesn’t need the treatments or the other expensive medication anymore.” He pulls me into a crushing hug, and for a moment all of my fears over this huge decision are forgotten. I really never thought I’d ever be able to leave the hell I’m living in. I’ve been resigned to the fact that I’ll spend the rest of my life in this unhappy, unhealthy marriage to prolong my mother’s quality of life. My lies created this web of deception that blocked out any light to expose my true self.

With Alex’s help, I’ve been able to pull back the layers thread by thread, and I now see a ray of hope shining out before me. Happiness is within my reach, and the thought of grabbing hold of it supersedes any of the doubts I have about leaving.

“That’s awesome!” He pulls back and places a few kisses on me before holding my face in my hands and searching my face. My mouth turns up in the corners, but the quiver of my bottom lip gives away my emotions. “What’s wrong?”

I’m just going to come out and say it. “Are you coming with me?” My teeth rake over my bottom lip.

“Seriously? I thought that was the plan all along if you were able to get out.” I breathe out a sigh of relief that’s cut short by Alex’s lips on mine. It doesn’t take long for his sweet kisses to turn downright sinful. He explores my mouth with his tongue, eliciting moans from me when he strokes the right spots. I break the kiss, kick off my shoes, and crawl backward up the bed, maintaining eye contact the whole time in invitation. He accepts without hesitation, following after me like an animal on the hunt. I’m lying on my back while he settles himself on top of me with his hips wedged between the apex of my thighs. Each hand is placed on either side of my head supporting his body weight as he’s suspended above me. He stares into my eyes like he always does, seeking the final go ahead before things advance. I fist the front of his shirt in my hand and pull him down onto me until his mouth collides with mine.

He tortures me with his mouth as he nips, sucks, and kisses me, working my body into a frenzy, until I’m writhing for more contact. Soon, I can’t take it anymore. “Please, Alex. I need more.”

“Shhh, don’t worry, sweetheart. You’ll get more. Just relax and enjoy everything I do to you.” Oh, I am. That’s not the problem. The problem is the painful throbbing in my clit as I rub my center against him in a desperate need for friction. Taking the hint, Alex hooks his fingers in the top of my pants, dragging them down my legs at a painfully slow pace. Once he removes them, he moves back up my body while placing open-mouth kisses up my leg, to my inner thigh, and on my panty-covered heat. My hips jerk at the contact, liquid pooling in my center as he teases his way around the spot I want him the most. I fist my hands in his hair trying to direct him to my core, but he laughs softly before pulling away from my reach. “Place your hands above your head,” he commands. When I realize he’s not going to touch me until I comply, I reluctantly put my hands above my head as the torture continues. But God, what a glorious torture it is. I’ve never been with a man who puts my needs above his own, and the fact that Alex wants to prolong my pleasure makes me want to tear his clothes off right here, right now.

His hands grasp the hem of my shirt, revealing a sliver of skin at a time as his mouth follows. My back arches when he kisses between my breasts, stopping to suck on the swells that aren’t covered by my black bra. I sit up slightly so he can pull the shirt off of my head. Before I can lay back down, his mouth is already on me again. He moves to my right breast, gently biting my nipple through the fabric creating a dull pain that makes me want more.

“Ahhh, Alex,” I say breathlessly as his teeth gently clamp down on my hard nipple. My legs wrap around his waist and pull him into me as I grind my body against his. The feel of his hard erection lets me know that he’s as affected by this as I am, and it’s a heady feeling.

“Sit up for me,” he says against my skin that’s been set ablaze by his touch. I do as he asks and he reaches around behind me to unclasp my bra. Once I’m set free from my restraint, Alex palms each with his hands. Looking back into my eyes, he says, “My God. You’re fucking perfection.” By the look and emotions pouring from his eyes, I know he’s talking about more than my breasts. I work hard to keep my emotions at bay, not wanting to ruin the moment by crying. But I’ve never had a man make me feel so important and want to show me in so many ways. He gently squeezes my breasts and my back arches again, thrusting them into his hands. He tweaks my nipples, rolling them between his fingers. I cry out in pleasure and throw my head back.

Pulling my gaze back down to Alex, I notice that he’s still fully clothed, and that’s just not going to work for me. I begin the task of unbuttoning his shirt, but once I’ve gotten a few undone, I lose my patience and end up grabbing the back of his collar and pulling it up and over his head. I run into a snag when I realize the sleeves are still buttoned, but make quick work of remedying that problem. Once that’s off, his undershirt soon follows. This is the first time I’ve seen him shirtless, and I could kick myself for not undressing him sooner. Every inch of tanned skin is mouth watering. His pecs, abs, and biceps are all sculpted to perfection. As my eyes travel over his body, I notice a few scars that start at his shoulder and trail halfway down his arm. The gravity of what he told me earlier hits me, and I realize just how close he was to never coming home. To never meeting me. I reach out to lightly touch them and when my eyes come back up to his, I see him watching me intently. Leaning in, I place a soft kiss on each scar, grateful that this man is here and with me.

His finger goes to my chin and he lifts my face up and away from his scars. The emotions brimming in his eyes must reflect my own. Understanding, acceptance, adoration. Maybe even love. He kisses each corner of my mouth before saying, “I don’t think I can hold out anymore, Elizabeth. I’ve got to have you.”

Praise Jesus is the thought that goes through my head. I didn’t think he’d ever give in to me. I nod my head and bite my lip giving him the green light. He lays me back down and removes my panties quickly. When his fingers touch my center, he sucks in a breath. “Fuck, babe, so wet.” He slips in one finger and my breath catches.

“More, Alex.” I clutch his hair trying to restrain myself from attacking him. He obliges, inserting two this time. My eyes close on their own accord while I whimper, the sensations almost more than I can bear. Finally, I hear the sound of his belt buckle being undone. My eyes spring open just in time to watch him pull off his pants and boxers at once. His erection springs free, standing proud, and my eyes widen. Dear God. When my eyes pull themselves away from his massive length to look in his eyes, I’m met with a cocky grin. I simply shake my head at his arrogance. “Now,” I plead.

He settles above me before stopping. “Hmmm, I kinda like it when you beg,” he says as he kisses my shoulder. I can’t see his face, but I know that smug expression of his is there.

“I’m not in the joking mood right now, Matthews.” He grins against my skin and I’m about to lay into him when I feel him nudge my entrance and all words cease to exist. Ever so slowly, he eases himself into me, pausing to allow me to adjust to him. My eyes close as I take him in.

“Open your eyes for me, babe,” he says softly. I do and I’m momentarily awestruck by the raw emotion exuding off of him. There’s always been this invisible connection between us, but it’s just been intensified tenfold and I can’t look away even if I want to. On one last thrust, he’s fully sheathed in my warmth, the fullness feeling exquisite. “You okay?” he asks in a strained voice.

I nod. “Yes, please, move.” He pulls out almost all the way excruciatingly slow and then pushes back in at the same speed. All of my attempts to encourage him to move faster are to no avail. He maintains this slow, torturous, delicious rhythm until my toes start to curl and I feel the buildup in my center. “Oh God, Alex. I’m so close.” He leans back, grabs one of my legs, and throws it over his shoulder. The new position allows him to penetrate deeper and has me crashing over the edge. I’m not sure what words leave my mouth, but I know they’re loud and followed by a lot of moans and screaming. Once I’ve ridden out the wave of my orgasm, Alex picks up the pace, slamming into me over and over. I’m surprised when my body starts toward the peak of ecstasy again. “Shit! I’m going to come again.” My words are but a whisper as I struggle to take in air. The pleasure robbing me of all oxygen.

“Do it,” he grits out, clearly holding back his own release. His fingers dig into my hips and he keeps pumping into me. At his words, I’m thrust into oblivion as another orgasm rips through my body, completely shattering me. As I’m coming down, I feel Alex tense and stop moving as he comes inside me. His body collapses on mine as we lay there trying to regain our breaths and return to the here and now. “Wow,” he says.

“Wow is right.” My heart is still beating at an erratic rate and I know my body is going to be sore, but I’ve never felt better in my whole life. He kisses me gently up my neck, moving over to my cheek until his lips find mine. He ends it with a sweet kiss to the nose.

“I don’t mean to break up the moment, but what’s the plan?” he asks softly, bringing me back to reality.

I sigh. “I’m not sure.”

“If you want to leave, we better do it before Cal gets home,” he suggests.

“I know. I’ve got to pack a few things and go to the bank to get some cash. I don’t want him to track me with my debit cards.”

“If you want, I can run to the ATM and withdrawal some cash for you while you get a bag packed.” That sounds like a good idea, and it would save us time on getting the hell out of town. But then I realize a problem.

“You can only take out so much at an ATM and I’ll need more than that.”

“Okay . . .” he trails off, deep in thought. “What if you write me a check, I go to your bank, and cash it? Would that work?”

I kiss him hard on the mouth. “You’re a genius.”

He smiles down on me before saying, “I’ll go now. Be ready to go in twenty minutes. When I get back, we’ll leave.” He makes it sound so easy, but I’m terrified. I’ve gotten a small glimpse of the wrath of Cal, and I’m sure there’s much worse hiding behind his well-bred exterior.

“Okay.” We both hop out of bed, get dressed, and set about on our tasks. My hands shake as I haphazardly throw things into my bag. I’m doing this, I’m really doing it. I put the necklace he gave me on and tuck it under my shirt. Next, I pack the frame I gave him. Lastly, I write out a quick note from some stationery in the bedside table letting Cal know that I won’t be coming back.

About ten minutes later, I hear the front door open and close. That was quick. I run downstairs with my bag and note in hand to meet Alex, but it’s not Alex at the door. It’s Cal.

“Going somewhere, love?” he asks with his arms crossed over his chest while he blocks the front door. A smug expression sits firmly across his face.

My heart falls to the pit of my stomach and my blood turns to ice. I swallow hard, trying to keep calm, but my insides are panicking as a claustrophobic feeling starts to settle in.

Trapped.

That’s what I am. Somehow he found out I was leaving and caught me before I was able to make it. I’m so screwed.

I DON’T MOVE or speak. I can’t. What am I going to do? How am I going to get out of this?

“I asked you a question, Elizabeth,” Cal says sternly. I wrack my brain for any excuse I can think of, but nothing sounds believable. “What’s this?” he asks, looking at the note in my hand. He moves toward it, snapping me out of my frozen state. I try to pull back to keep him from grabbing the note, but I’m not quick enough. “Nice try.” He looks at me with disgust before turning his attention to the note.

He clears his throat before reading it. “’Cal, I haven’t been happy in our marriage for quite some time. It’s time I move on. Elizabeth.’” He looks at me over the top of the piece of paper. “I must say, I would’ve expected something much more eloquent from you.” I nervously shift my weight from one foot to the next waiting for his next move. “Let’s have a seat and talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I’m leaving and you can’t stop me.”

He lets out a low chuckle. “We’ll see about that. Join me in the living room. I think you’ll change your mind once you’ve heard me out.” He holds his hand out for me to enter the living room. I look at my watch noticing that it’s been about twenty minutes now, so I do as I’m told knowing Alex will be showing up at any moment. “I always like when you do what you’re told.” My fists ball up at my sides at his condescending comment.

Prick.

Once we’re seated, he speaks. “Now, tell me what makes you unhappy.”

He can’t be serious. Staring at him blankly, I think of how exactly to word it. There are so many things, but I’ll be here all day if I list them all. I just need to keep talking until it’s time for me to leave. “Everything. You don’t treat me as your equal, you never have. You blatantly cheat on me and show no remorse. You have beaten me down physically and emotionally. You don’t show me any love, compassion, friendship, or—”

“I get it, you hate me,” he cuts me off while holding up his hand to halt my laundry list of reasons he makes me miserable. “That’s fine, but you’re not leaving me.”

I nod several times. “Yes, I am. There’s nothing making me stay, Cal.”

“Oh, that’s right. Your mother went into remission so now you don’t need me.” I look at him in shock that he knows. I just found out this morning. “Don’t look so surprised, Elizabeth. I keep tabs on everything in your life.” The way he emphasizes everything has me worried. Does he know about Alex? How could he? We just made love not even an hour ago. “It doesn’t matter though, because I forbid you to go anywhere.”

I laugh out loud. He is delusional if he thinks he can keep me here. “That’s absurd. You forbid me? Alex is coming to get me any minute now and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

Cal winces, sucking in air between his teeth. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Alex isn’t coming back for you.”

A prickling feeling travels slowly down my spine as fear starts to take over. “W-what do you mean?”

“Let me ask you something: did you know this house was wired with hidden cameras? That I can see your every move, even when I’m not home? That your little tryst on the kitchen island wasn’t as private as you thought it was. Did you find the button I dug out of the trash on the counter waiting for you?” My head begins to spin and I feel lightheaded. “What if I told you I saw him fuck you right before I came home? Nice show, by the way. I’ve never heard you scream like that. It actually made my dick hard.”

Bile rises up to the back of my throat and I have to work to swallow it down. “What did you do to him?” I whisper and then close my eyes afraid of the answer.

“Let’s make a call and see where he’s at, shall we?” Cal pulls out his phone and taps on the screen a few times before bringing it to his ear. My heart is going to beat right out of my chest with the panic that’s rising within me.

Please let him be okay. Please let him be okay. I’ll stay with Cal, just let him be okay.

It’s a mantra I repeat over and over. If something happens to Alex, I don’t know what I’ll do.

“Hey, it’s me,” Cal says into the phone. “Do you have him?” He pauses again. “Great. I’m going to put her on speaker, just give me a second.” Cal pulls the phone away from his ear and thrusts it at me. “Say hello to Alex, sweetheart.” He says Alex’s pet name for me with nothing but pure hate, tainting the word.

“Alex?” I croak out. My throat is so tight with emotion it feels like someone is choking the life out of me.

“Elizabeth, are you alright?” I hear the pain in his voice and I want to die for the harm I’ve caused him. I had no idea the kind of man I was marrying when I got involved with Cal.

“I’m fine. Where are you?” The phone is yanked away from me.

“Uh, uh, uh, that’s enough talking.” He holds the phone to his mouth and says, “Say good-bye, Alex.” My mouth parts to let out a scream, but nothing comes out. All I hear is Alex shouting ‘no’ a few times before a huge bang goes off. The noise startles me, making me jump. Tears fill my eyes and I shake my head slowly as I stare at the phone in Cal’s hand.

“No,” I whisper. “No, no, no! You son of a bitch!” I jump up and lung at Cal in a fit of rage. His arms wrap around me, but I continue to beat on his chest with everything I have as I scream at him. After a few hits, he has my arms down by my side, easily restraining me.

“You better remember who I am and that wiping your pathetic existence from this planet will be just as easy. Don’t fuck with me or I might go after someone else who’s important to you. Say, your mother maybe.” With each second that passes, the fact that I’ll never see Alex again settles deep inside me. My knees give out and Cal lets me crumble to the floor. My body shakes violently as sobs consume my body.

“They’ll—they’ll find y-you and—and arrest you for th-this,” I say as I start to hyperventilate. My limbs are growing numb as is my heart.

Cal lets out a demonic chuckle that makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. “You really are naive, aren’t you? Don’t worry that pretty little head of yours. This will never get traced back to me. Trust me on that. Now, pull yourself together, unpack your bags and make yourself comfortable. You’re stuck with me for a very, very long time.” He pats me on the head like a dog and leaves. Unable to stop hyperventilating, I begin to gag and dry heave. I try to stand up to rush to the bathroom, but every ounce of strength has been sucked from my body and I fall back to the ground. My hands brace themselves on the floor as I start to expel the contents of my stomach until it’s as empty as my heart. I’ve never felt a pain run so deep that it hurts my soul.

Broken.

That’s what I am. Before, there were chunks of me held loosely together knowing there was a purpose behind my actions, behind staying with Cal. Now, I’m completely shattered, destroyed. Alex’s death will be something I’ll never get over. The wounds to my heart run too deep to ever be mended.

When there are no more tears and nothing left in my stomach, I sit in a catatonic state for God knows how long. My eyes aren’t focused on anything in particular as I stare straight ahead. I feel absolutely nothing, the pain so excruciating that my entire body has shut down to ensure that it keeps functioning. I’ll forever be trapped in this hell. Some people get their happily ever after, and I had mine within my grasp. But this isn’t a fucking fairy tale. My only source of happiness has been taken from me and I will never get to see, touch, smell, or feel him again. My biggest regret? I never told him I loved him. Because I do. With every cell in my body I love that man. I will live out the rest of my days in a numb stupor. I’ll play my part like I normally do, but I welcome death, where I will be reunited with the one man to make me feel alive.

Alex, I love you.

Forever.