Текст книги "Hidden in Lies"
Автор книги: Rachael Duncan
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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 14 страниц)
“Okay.” Without much effort, he walks to the edge of our rock and leaps down onto the rock on the shore. Now that I’m at the edge, it doesn’t look that simple. It feels like the rocks have drifted apart and for some reason the gap seems wider going back than it did coming. The rock I need to jump down to is small and I’m afraid I’ll miss or slip and hurt myself.
“Come on,” he says, holding out his hand.
“I don’t think I can make it,” I tell him. My palms are getting sweaty as I try to work up the nerve to jump for it. Then an idea hits me. I sit on the very edge, the rock jutting out of the water enough that I can hang my legs a little without getting wet. I begin to reach my leg out, trying to touch the other rock.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he warns me in an arrogant way. Narrowing my eyes at him, that makes me want to prove him wrong just that much more. “I’m telling you, you can make it. Just jump and I’ll catch you.”
“No, I can get across this way.” Biting my bottom lip, I slide my ass just a little closer to the edge and reach out an inch more. I’m so close to touching the rock, so I extend my leg even further. And that’s when it happens. Between my ass teetering on the very edge of the rock, and my weight shifting forward trying to reach, I fall forward and am unable to catch myself before landing in the water. The water is freezing and a shock to my system as I gasp for air.
“Oh my God!” I quickly move to the shore and Alex helps me out of the water. I’m soaked from my waist down, the icy water chilling me down to my bones. I look up and see Alex trembling, hiding his grin behind his hand. I glare at him, which causes him to full-out belly laugh. I try to hold it in, but I can’t and soon I’m laughing too.
“I told you that wasn’t a good idea,” he says through his laughter.
“Yeah, yeah,” I say with a roll of my eyes. “Can we go now? I’m freezing.” I’ve started to shiver slightly now, the thin, wet yoga pants doing nothing to protect me from the chilly breeze in the air.
“Sure, let’s go,” he says, humor still in his eyes.
We make it back to his car where he turns on the heat full blast and removes his sweater to drape over my legs, providing me an extra layer of warmth. The snug fitted T-shirt he has on underneath molds to his muscles showing off nice pecs and sculpted arms. I have to divert my eyes to keep from ogling him and getting caught.
“Thanks again for taking me out today. I actually had a lot of fun.” Turning my attention back to him, I give him a smile when he looks at me briefly before returning his eyes to the road.
“No problem. I had more fun than I have in a while too.” He glances at me one more time until we both turn away to our own thoughts. I can see it in his eyes, the emotion we’re both feeling but maybe haven’t felt in a long time.
Happiness.
Now that I’ve had a taste, I don’t want to let it go.
“I’M SORRY, HONEY, but I have too much to do in preparation for next week. I’m going to stay here in D.C. for the night so I can get an early start in the morning. I’ll see you tomorrow evening, alright?” I should feel disappointment, but I don’t. If anything, his absence is a welcomed reprieve.
Most senators stay in Washington, D.C. Tuesday through Thursday while Congress is in session, and only go home for the weekends. We live so close to the Capitol that Cal usually comes home during the week. There are occasions where voting goes late into the night and he’ll stay there, but for the most part he’s home. With his obligations in the Senate and the different committees he sits on, he’s been preparing for the campaign every free moment he has, going well into the night.
“I understand, dear. Don’t worry about me. You do what you have to do to make sure you win this primary,” I reply into the phone receiver, ever the supportive wife.
“I knew you would understand. I love you,” he says tenderly.
“I love you too.” The call ends and I place my phone down on the coffee table in the living room. When I force myself to say those four words, it feels like razor blades on my tongue. Slicing their way out of my mouth, leaving behind a bloody taste of lies. Yet, each time I sound convincing and Cal is none the wiser about the lie I tell on a daily basis.
I’m just about to lean back on the couch and read the book I had sitting beside me when my phone goes off again. Leaning up to see who it is on the caller ID, I groan when I see the name flashing across the screen. Knowing she’ll keep calling until I answer, I connect the call. “Hello, Catherine.”
“Elizabeth, dah-ling,” she greets, causing me to roll my eyes. “How are you?”
“I’m doing well, thanks. How are you?”
“Just fine. We should do dinner tonight! I want to fill you in on my trip to New York.” The enthusiasm in her voice is palpable and I know she’s dying to tell me where she went shopping and who she was rubbing elbows with. Even if I put her off with some lame excuse now, she’ll pester me until I meet with her. I might as well get it over with.
“That sounds lovely. Would you like to meet at the Ritz?” I try my best to hide my lack of enthusiasm. Luckily for me, Catherine is usually too self absorbed to notice anyone but herself.
“That would be perfect. Say, seven o’clock okay with you?”
“Yes, I’ll see you there.” My phone gets tossed onto the cushion beside me as dread slowly takes over. I really don’t want to meet Catherine and hear her go on and on about this dress, those shoes, that celebrity. Getting up with a sigh, I go in search of Alex to tell him of my plans. As I’m rounding the corner, I spot him coming through the front door, a friendly smile on his face when he sees me. The flash of white momentarily stops me and my reasoning for looking for him escapes my brain.
“Did you need something?” he asks, a knowing smirk on his face.
Jerk.
He doesn’t have to be so smug about my inability to think around him. He could at least pretend like he doesn’t notice.
I shake myself out of my stupor. “Yes, actually. I’m going to have dinner with Catherine this evening at The Ritz. We should leave here at around six thirty.”
“I’ll be ready.” He smiles and walks past me into the living room.
It’s been two weeks since our first hike where I fell into the stream. Since then, things have been really easy between Alex and I. He really is a genuine person and I’ve grown quite fond of him. Lately, he’s become a very important aspect in my life as he’s slowly transforming into something I haven’t had in a very long time.
A friend.
Before Alex, I didn’t understand the depths of my loneliness. Sure, I’m not happily married and the friendships I have are superficial. But I think I had convinced myself that I didn’t need anything more meaningful. That I could get through life maintaining the artificial life I’ve had my entire adulthood. He’s easy to talk to, he laughs at my stupid jokes, and he pays attention to me. He’s the polar opposite of everything I’ve ever known. And I like it, maybe even love it.
Cal doesn’t listen to anything I say, making him unbearable to open up and talk to. My opinions are of little consequence and don’t factor in to any decisions made. Everything is so serious in Cal’s world. There’s no laughter, no joy, no inside jokes between companions, just business and obligations. It’s not as if I haven’t realized this before, but I was able to hide my dislike for it better. Now that Alex is giving me a taste of what it feels like to be seen and heard, I’m starting to despise this life I’m in more and more. How much longer can I keep this up before I break? Before I have a complete break down and curse everyone who’s burdening me with staying?
At seven o’clock sharp Alex and I walk into The Ritz. I’m told Catherine hasn’t made it yet, so we’re led to a private booth where we can wait for her. Alex places his hand at the small of my back ushering me along as we follow the hostess. Tingles travel up my spine at the simple contact, and I start to fantasize about a time that doesn’t exist. A time where there is no Cal, and there is no Catherine. There’s no pressure to hold up to the standards a family name imposes on you. There’s no expectations and inevitable disappointments. Just Alex and I having dinner together in an intimate setting. Unfortunately, that will never happen since I have too much to lose if I leave Cal, and it’s not about the money either.
Once we’re at our booth, Alex gestures for me to slide in the middle. I do as he requests and he slides in beside me. After the hostess leaves, he leans next to my ear and says, “It makes it easier for me to get out quickly if I’m on the end. And I can see the door clearly from this angle too.” Leaning away, he winks before glancing around at the people near us. My lungs take in a deep breath, not realizing they ceased to work while he was so close. I need to get a grip on my wavering hormones. Alex is my friend, nothing more. I can’t continue to have these crazy intimate thoughts about him while pretending to love my husband. Eventually I’ll crack and the game will be over.
“For someone who’s about to have dinner with a friend, you sure don’t look happy. What’s up, sweetheart?” His ability to read me startles me. I hate it. Why can’t I hide things from him like I do everyone else? Why does he have to be so damn observant?
“I’m just a little tired, and sometimes Catherine can be a little much. Her energy exhausts me.” I offer him a small smile, but I know he can tell it’s forced. Thankfully, Catherine arrives, halting anymore questions.
“Elizabeth, I hope you weren’t waiting long.” She slides in on her side of the booth and gives me an air kiss on each cheek.
“No, we just arrived a few moments ago. Catherine, this is Alex Matthews,” I say, gesturing toward him with my hand. “Alex, this is Catherine Williams.”
“How nice to meet you,” she says, holding her hand out delicately for him.
“The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Williams.” He gives her that panty dropping smile of his before shaking her hand gently. After releasing her, he slides out of the booth and stands next to it with his back to us, surveying the restaurant. Catherine actually sighs, swooning right on the spot. Seriously?
“He works for a private security firm,” I explain. “After the break-in, Cal didn’t want me venturing anywhere alone.”
“That’s understandable,” she says, her attention finally coming back to me. “Aren’t you dying to know how my trip went?” Her tone is almost accusatory, as if she can’t believe I haven’t asked her yet.
“Yes, of course. I was actually just about to ask.” The waiter comes over and sets down a few waters before giving us a few more minutes to look over the menu. I take a sip, wishing it was something stronger to get me through this dinner with Catherine.
“Okay, so I flew in on Thursday and immediately hit up the shops. Michael Kors had this fabulous bag . . .” and she goes on and on and on. Being in this uppity circle, I guess I’m supposed to care about these handbags, shoes, and designer dresses. But it’s really hard to muster up enthusiasm for shit that doesn’t really matter. Thankfully, the waiter comes to take our orders right before she went into everything she bought at Chanel.
After thirty minutes of talking about her shopping extravaganza, I want to shoot myself. She makes a joke about a celebrity she saw shopping at one of the stores she was in.
“She was wearing this god-awful frock looking thing. I don’t know who her stylist is, but they need to be fired immediately. Anyway, I walked up to her and told her the truth. It made her butt look big and the color was truly heinous on her. Do you know she asked me if I wanted a job as a stylist?” She tilts her head back slightly and laughs. I join in even though I don’t find her story all that funny. Glancing over at Alex, he cuts me a look from the corner of his eye and I know he can tell I’m faking it. It’s truly telling that no one else in my life picks up on this, but the reason no one knows it’s phony is because it’s the only laugh they’ve ever heard leave my lips.
Except for Alex.
He broke me out of my shell briefly on our hike, and I laughed for the first time in forever when I fell into that stream. It was such a cathartic moment, but also one that I regret. Not because I didn’t have fun; I did. But because it’s another piece of my puzzle that Alex holds and one step closer at figuring me out.
“HOLY HELL YOU can’t seriously like that woman!” Alex says once we’re in the car. I turn to him, my face scrunched up in offense.
“Yes, she’s my friend.” I try to assert as much conviction free of sarcasm into my words as possible, hoping this isn’t another thing he can call bullshit on.
He snorts in return, stifling a full on laugh. “Yeah, right. You guys couldn’t be more different if you tried. I’m telling ya, at one point I was wishing I was back in Afghanistan instead of standing next to that table listening to her.” My mouth and eyes widen in surprise, mildly shocked that he’d say something like that. He glances away from the road to look at me and I catch a glimpse of the half smile he’s trying to hide.
Sighing, I lay back against the headrest of the seat. “She’s not that bad once you get to know her,” I say in an exasperated tone. I’m lying because she is just as bad, if not worse, once you get to know her. I’ve just learned to filter out about half of what she says.
“Oh, come on! Admit it, you don’t like her.” My eyes narrow into slits when I turn my head in his direction. He’s goading me and I don’t appreciate it. I cross my arms over my chest and ignore him. “You can tell me the truth, you know? I’m not going to judge you because you don’t like a materialistic, self-centered, egotistical snob.” He says the last part with a bit of sarcasm, looking over at me waiting for my answer. There’s something that passes briefly in his eyes and it makes me wonder if this is something he wants to hear for more than one reason. Maybe he wants to see the best in me and believe that I couldn’t possibly be anything like women like that despite my efforts to appear that I am.
“No,” I say quietly. “I don’t like her.” I’m not sure why, but I feel like one brick has been lifted from my shoulders, lightening the burden I’ve been carrying for so long now. A sense of relief passes through me briefly at the admission.
“See, don’t you feel better now?” When I look over at him, the smug look I hate is stretched across his perfect face. It infuriates me.
“Do you have to be so smug and cocky all the time? You don’t have to always rub it in when you’re right.” I look out my side window, watching the trees pass by until his next comment makes my breath hitch.
“Oh, I can be a lot cockier if given the chance, sweetheart,” he says in a low, sexy tone. I swallow hard, trying to erase the vision that sentence just put in my head. I decide it’s best if I don’t respond to that statement. My brain is already all over the place when it comes to Alex and I don’t need to fog it up anymore by analyzing what he just said.
The first thing I do when we get home is change into some comfortable clothes. I’m tired of being in heels and stuffy, pretentious clothing. Once I’m changed, I go back downstairs to get a glass of water. As I’m about to enter the kitchen, the sight in front of me stops me in my tracks.
Alex’s back is to me. He has divested himself of his suit jacket and is wearing slacks that hug his rear in all the right ways with a dress shirt that is stretched across his broad back. White knuckled hands firmly grip the edge of the island, his weight bearing down on his arms with his head hung low. He looks tortured, and I’m not sure why. The need to comfort him is so strong that I find my feet carrying me in his direction on their own accord.
“Alex?” I say gently as to not startle him. He turns to face me and all I see is this defeated look on his face. “Are you alright?” I walk closer to him and place my hand on his forearm as a gesture of comfort.
“Look, I’m really sorry for my comment in the car; it was inappropriate. I know we’ve gotten to know each other a bit recently, but I didn’t mean to cross the line, so I’m sorry.” This is probably the first sincere apology I’ve ever gotten in my adult life. Regret flashes in his eyes as he waits for my forgiveness.
“It’s fine, Alex. Really. If anything, it’s refreshing to have someone joke around and not treat me like a child.”
“You just got real quiet so I was worried I offended you.” He glances down at my hand, which is still placed on his arm. I withdraw, breaking the physical connection.
“No, I just didn’t want to emasculate you, so I decided to keep silent,” I tease.
“Emasculate? How?” His eyebrows are furrowed in confusion and curiosity.
“Well, you said, ‘Oh, I can be a lot cockier if given the chance, sweetheart,’” I try to imitate his voice, causing him to crack a tiny smile. “I was going to say, ‘Don’t worry. You won’t be getting any chances here, so I’m not worried about seeing your cock . . . ier side.’” Truth be told, I had absolutely no comeback to his comment in the car, but I don’t want him worrying about offending me anymore. Plus, talking like this makes me feel rebellious. I’d never dream of speaking so crudely in front of Cal. He’d have a stroke for sure.
A slow, heart-stopping smile spreads across his face, and the look from before is replaced by what I can only describe as a predatory stare. “Is that so?” he asks, taking unhurried steps toward me. Each one causing me to take a step back in return. I’m speechless, the bravado I was feeling seconds ago has suddenly vanished. I keep backing up until my back hits the wall and I have nowhere else to go. Alex cages me in with his arms placed on the wall on either side of my head. He leans in until our noses are almost touching, his breath hitting my lips. “Oh, sweetheart,” he says mockingly, no doubt in response to when I was imitating him, “Trust me, you’re not quite ready to see that side of me.” His voice drops an octave, causing my thighs to clench together tightly while moisture pools in my panties. Neither one of us moves, the only sound is of our breaths picking up as we glance from each other’s eyes, down to our lips. My tongue instinctively darts out to wet them and that seems to snap Alex out of whatever trance he was in.
Stepping away quickly, he says, “I’m going to do a perimeter check before locking up, okay?” I simply nod, still plastered to the wall, unable to form words right now.
Never has a man made me weak in the knees with just words. The confident, unwavering look in his eyes as he stalked me, the way his thick, muscular arms surrounded me, and the sound of his deep, sexy voice all reduced me to nothing more than a puddle in my panties.
Dear God, I’m in trouble.
What I wouldn’t give to have just one night with Alex to get him out of my system. I’ll bet he can satisfy a woman in every way imaginable. At that thought, I’m immediately consumed with guilt for having such impure thoughts. I might not be happy in my marriage, but I am still married. Plus, if Cal ever found out I had cheated, I would lose everything. That’s the way the prenuptial agreement was drafted. If I commit adultery, I forfeit my right to anything and everything that we owned together.
I know I could make it on my own. I have a four-year college degree I can always fall back on. I’m not worried about me should something happen to my marriage. Unfortunately, I’m not the only one I have to think about in this equation. And I know without a doubt, that I wouldn’t be able to take care of all the responsibilities I have on my own. I need Cal’s help with this or one of the people I love most will suffer and possibly die.
And that’s one burden I’m not willing to accept.
I HEAR MY phone ringing in the other room, so I rush over to answer it before it goes to voicemail. “Hello, dear,” I answer, seeing that it’s Cal.
“Elizabeth, I’m on my way home with Aaron. He’s going to go over the schedule with the both of us for the next couple weeks, okay?” Cal says. It’s been a about a month since Cal announced his candidacy and the tour across America will begin soon.
“Oh, okay.” I’m a little surprised that I’m being briefed on the schedule, and it must show in my voice judging by Cal’s next question.
“Is that a problem?”
“I’m just never included in your business affairs.” My teeth clamp down on my tongue and I wish I could take those words back.
“Excuse me?” He’s calm, but the icy chill isn’t lost on me. “Do you have an issue with the way I handle business, Elizabeth?” Even though I can’t see him, I can picture the anger flashing in his eyes and disapproval oozing off of him. I feel like a child being scolded.
“No, Cal. I actually prefer it your way. You know how I get bored with constant talk of politics.” I hold my breath hoping my attempt to brush off my mistake works. Luckily for me, it does.
“That’s what I thought. I’ll see you in a little while.” With that, he hangs up the phone. My cover up may have placated him, but I could still detect a faint amount of anger. I’m sure I’ll hear about this later.
Walking toward the front of the house, I go in search of Alex to let him know Cal and Aaron will be here soon. I find him sitting in one of the chairs in the formal sitting room with a newspaper in hand. He looks over the paper, the only thing visible are his piercing blue eyes, when he hears me approach.
“Hey, Cal and Aaron will be here in a bit.”
“Okay, I’ll call off the dogs,” he says as he pulls the newspaper away from his face, ending his statement with a wink. That one simple act is so damn disarming, and I don’t know why. As soon as he does it, all working functions in my brain cease to exist. I’ve given the effect he has on me a bit of thought lately, mostly at night when I’m lying in bed and unable to sleep. No man has ever done something as simple as wink and immobilize me. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not the wink that does it, but the man behind it. Every single thing he does causes a reaction from me, and it’s both exciting and terrifying at the same time. I offer him a smile and turn to go back into the living room. I need to put some distance between the two of us before Cal gets home or I won’t be able to get into character and play the perfect wife.
Thirty minutes later, and I hear the front door open. “Good afternoon, Mr. Fitzpatrick, Mr. Zimmerman,” I hear Alex greet Cal and Aaron.
“Mr. Matthews,” Cal replies curtly before making his entrance into the living room where I am seated.
“Hello, love.” Standing from the couch, I make my way over to Cal to greet him with a small kiss.
“Hi, let’s have a seat. We have a lot to go over in a short amount of time.” I nod in acknowledgment and we all take our seats around the coffee table.
“So,” Aaron begins, “your lives are about to get hectic. We’re going to start touring the country Monday and making several stops in the battleground states. Elizabeth,” he looks at me before continuing, “you’ll be accompanying him to just about every speaking obligation he has. It’s important to show a solid front, to show that you support his efforts to become president one-hundred-percent. Traveling everywhere with him will portray that. Okay?” I nod my understanding and he continues. “Every first lady has chosen a cause that she campaigned for. Is there anything in particular you feel passionate about? A particular fundraiser or topic you want to bring awareness to?”
At first my only response is to blink. I’ve never been given a choice of any significance since I met Cal. And now I get to pick any topic I want to support on a national stage. I’m almost a little giddy if I’m telling the truth. Finally, I get to take a stand for something important and show what I’m passionate about. Once I’m over the shock, my answer is really simple.
“Education. That was my major in college, and I feel it’s an important topic that needs addressing. Our current system is failing our young people, and I’d love to try to make a difference.” I surprise myself with the amount of conviction, confidence, and determination that comes out of me. However, it’s short-lived when Aaron’s shoulders sag and he starts shaking his head back and forth.
“We need something everyone can get behind, and education is a hot button topic. People have their opinions on how it should be reformed, and we want to stay away from taking a definite stance on that. We need union support so we can’t upset the teacher’s unions, but we don’t want people to see us as only working for them either. It’s a very delicate topic and we can’t afford any missteps leading up to the election.”
“But this is something I have knowledge in. My degree is in that field and I graduated at the top of my class. If I hadn’t met Cal, I’d be teaching right now.” Well, I don’t know about that last sentence. I love kids and I would’ve loved teaching, but my goal was always to find a well-off man to marry. It’s the one thing ingrained in my mind, then life happened and it became a necessity and my reality.
Cal starts laughing uncontrollably beside me “I can take a class in anatomy, but that doesn’t make me a doctor. You’ve never taught a day in your life, Elizabeth. How good could your suggestions be?” The condescending laughter from Cal and Aaron that follows cements my humiliation. “Can you imagine?” Cal asks, looking at Aaron. “So, Elizabeth,” he says in a game-show host kind of way, “how long have you been teaching? Oh, that’s right, never!” Laughter ensues from the two of them, neither being able to catch their breath long enough to say a word. Feeling extremely small, I look down at my lap avoiding eye contact with both of them, my cheeks heating from my embarrassment. More than anything, I’m mad at myself. How could I ever let myself believe that I contribute some kind of value to my marriage and his career? I’m mad that I got carried away and felt the briefest amount of excitement at feeling like an equal, when in reality I know that I’m anything but. I’ve always been nothing more than eye candy, a pretty face and supportive woman to hang on the arm of an accomplished man. I don’t need to worry though, because I always have Cal to remind me of my place in this life.
A throat being cleared catches my attention. I look up and over Aaron’s head into the kitchen where Alex is sitting on his bar stool, drilling holes into Cal. The furious expression on his handsome features is startling. I study the furrow of his eyebrows, the intense stare of his eyes, and the clenching of his jaw until it hits me why he looks so livid.
Me.
He’s mad at the way Cal and Aaron dismissed and mocked me. The realization soothes my hurt feelings slightly. His support for me might be silent, but it does more for my self-esteem than any man in my life ever has.
“Elizabeth,” I hear Aaron say, bringing my attention back to him. “If you want to work with kids, then we can put you in with the Boys and Girls Club. Everyone can get behind a cause that gets kids off the streets and into after school activities.”
And it’s final. I’ll be working with the Boys and Girls Club and that’s that. Without waiting for my response Aaron and Cal go on to discuss the tempo of events and the types of speaking arrangements he’ll be attending. I sit mindlessly and barely listen. I’m not expected to do more than smile, clap, and wave at these functions anyway.
Before, this didn’t bother me much. It’s not like I enjoyed not being acknowledged during important decisions, but it’s something that I’ve always been able to accept and lock away in a part of my brain that knows this is necessary. But something has changed inside of me that makes me want to be heard. I want to share my ideas, my thoughts, and my dreams without the fear of being laughed at or ignored. What’s happened to me?
Alex Matthews.
He’s what’s happened to me. He’s given me a taste of what it’s like to be viewed as a person and not an object. He’s slowly opened up this spot in my brain that I have shut down for years. The place that tells me the way Cal treats me is not okay. That maybe the benefits aren’t worth losing my identity over.
The only thing that pulls me out of my thoughts are the men standing and shaking hands signaling that the meeting is over and Aaron is leaving. I say my good-byes and act like the gracious wife I’m expected to be, following behind them toward the front door. On my way out of the living room, I avoid eye contact with Alex. Before I can make it past him, a gentle touch lands on my arm, stopping me. Reluctantly, I look up to find a set of hardened eyes firmly locked onto my face. As I’m staring into his blue orbs, I hear Cal in the foyer say, “Do you think you can put me down to be an astronaut? You know, since I took a class in astronomy.” By the way Alex’s jaw is ticking, I can assume he heard Cal’s little dig at me. The chuckling that meets our ears does little to cool the fire in his eyes. My gaze travels to the floor as I try to step out of his grasp. I don’t want him to see the shame I’m feeling right now. What kind of woman lets her husband degrade her like that in front of people? When I pull my arm, his grip on me tightens, holding me in place. His finger goes to my chin and lifts up so that I’m forced to look at him again.
“Don’t ever let that asshole make you feel like you’re less than him. Do you understand?” he asks quietly so that only I can hear him. Even though he’s not shouting, I can still feel the threatening edge to his words.
“I’m fine, Alex, it was just a joke.” My lips lift in the corners, trying to ease his obvious concern. His eyes narrow as he searches my face. For what, I don’t know, but when I pull my arm from his hand this time, he lets go. Walking away at a brisk pace, I make my retreat. It’s getting harder and harder to pretend with him. I see the inquisitive looks he gives me, like he’s trying to sort me out. I fear he’ll be able to see how miserable I really am, and if he questions me about it, I’m terrified I won’t be able to lie.
