Текст книги "Crazy Beautiful"

Автор книги: Penny Dee

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

Chapter Fourteen HEATH

The pain was unbearable. Like nothing I had ever felt. It started at my toes and overcame me, not stopping until it exploded out of my ears. I flinched.

Anger followed not long after, chasing it through every nerve and fiber of my body. I wanted to break every bone in his goddamn body. I wanted to scream at him to get his hands off my girl.

I wanted him to feel the same agony I felt coursing through me as I realized Harlow no longer wanted me. That she had chosen this asshole over me.

Christ it hurt. And I had no idea of how to handle it.

I thrust my fist against the dashboard, the pain shooting up my wrist but barely registering against the heartache in my chest and the storm in my mind.

I tore my eyes away from them and buried my face in my hands. The scream inside my head was overwhelming. It fractured me, allowing my grief to spill free. I became aware of my rapidly beating heart and the quickened pulse in my neck.

Harlow didn’t want me. She wanted him. And when she knew I was back in town, she would break up with me and tell me she was going back to him.

My heart tripped on that last thought and I felt frantic.

My girl didn’t want me anymore.

Minutes passed with my head in my hands before I finally raised my face again. I tried not to look at them but my eyes sought them out before I could stop.

They were off the pathway now and descending the steps to the sidewalk below. They were laughing. In fact, Harlow looked highly amused. She had her arm looped through his and looked like a woman in love. She was beaming with it.

Goddamn beaming with it!

Was she really that relieved to be back with him?

Self-preservation kicked in and I briefly wondered if what I was seeing was true. Perhaps there was a perfectly reasonable explanation? No, there was no perfectly reasonable explanation for some guy to put his lips all over my girl.

As much as my heart wanted me to, I couldn’t deny that they looked like reunited lovers. And as if to confirm my fears, when I looked up they had stopped further down the sidewalk and she was kissing his mother fucking cheek and he was gently rubbing her arm. Jesus, the way she was looking at him as they spoke broke my heart and a part of me began to die.

I didn’t need to see any more. It was already taking all my strength to stop myself from ripping off the car door and tearing down the street to knock him off his feet. And two months ago that was probably what I would have done.

I inhaled and exhaled deeply, fighting off the heartache that was spreading through me.

The moment I’d always dreaded but had somehow expected, was here; Harlow had finally realized I wasn’t good enough for her and had gone back to her rich prince.

Even with my mind crazy with hurt, I realized it was much better to be angry because anger was much stronger than heartache. If I could hold on to my anger, I reasoned, this was going to hurt less. And watching them walk away in the Californian sunshine, it wasn’t hard to focus on my anger.

On autopilot, I drove back to the airport and like a zombie, purchased a ticket back to Vegas.

Suspended in a daze, all I could see was Harlow in Colton’s arms. Even the not-so-subtle interest of the flight attendant as she greeted me barely registered on my radar.

I sank into my seat and glared out the window.

Just before takeoff, a stunning woman with long black hair and penetrating blue eyes slipped into the seat next to me. She smelt like jasmine and offered me a sparkling smile. She was pure Vegas and definitely my type.

Or at least, my type-right-now.

Our flight was delayed fifty minutes but thankfully the flight attendant brought around the drinks trolley because the air conditioning was playing up and it was getting hot and stuffy. I bought myself and the girl next to me a drink, followed by several more. I knew I shouldn’t. I did dumb shit on alcohol. But seeing my girl in the arms of her ex-boyfriend made for a good excuse to break the rules. I was going to do my best to drink the visions of her with her ex out of my head.

With so much time to kill during the delay, and a few bourbons mixed in, there was a lot of flirting and inappropriate innuendo and banter back and forth with the girl next to me. At one stage she even rested her hand on my thigh and gave me a seductive wink.

By the time we took off, I was on my way to being numb drunk. Fifteen minutes later, my co-passenger and I were becoming a part of the exclusive mile high club in the first class toilet cubicle to the front of the plane. She straddled me with her long legs and climbed on top of the erection she had so expertly rolled a condom onto.

Bourbon swirled in me as her tongue filled my mouth and I filled her. With an unrestrained moan, she sank onto me, her hands holding my face as she kissed me, moaning into my mouth.

Anger erupted inside of me, restless and prickly, swirling and mixing with the bourbon. In my alcohol soaked mind this was revenge on Harlow for ditching me for that asshole. I didn’t need her. I could have any woman I wanted.

If she wanted to be with someone else, then so the fuck what?

Wasn’t this proof that I didn’t need her?

I ripped open the girl’s shirt, popping buttons along the way. Her big, beautiful breasts spilled free and I buried my face in them as she continued to ride me. My tongue found a nipple and she sighed, moaning as she rocked against me, grinding herself and sucking me deeply into her.

It was frenzied and sticky. The cubicle was small, cramped and hotter than hell. She rode me like an expert, sliding up the length of me and plunging back down to the hilt. I grabbed her legs and pulled her hard against me, pumping into her, trying to reach that moment of purity where my mind would only feel pleasure.

“I’m going to come … oh baby, I’m—” she cried out with her orgasm and I followed moments later, pumping into her angrily, blinded by the pleasure of my climax and the rage it collided with.

My heart thundered with unrestrained fury but even in that moment of blinding, angry pleasure, all I could see was Harlow in Colton’s arms. I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes closed tighter, a guttural, agonized growl erupting from deep within me.

When we stilled my co-passenger looked down at me with her sultry eyes and smiled seductively. “Now that’s one way to pass the time,” she said, breathlessly. She shook her long hair out behind her and gave me a long hot kiss.

Thankfully she didn’t seem intent on hanging around. She climbed off me, replaced her thong and straightened her skirt. Then she shot me another sexy look, licked her lips and winked at me, and disappeared out the door.

I took a moment to think. Bourbon spun around in my head, making me hazy, although, it wasn’t enough to dull the ache in my chest or erase the realization that Harlow had picked that douche bag over me.

A quick glance in the mirror prompted me to smooth down my ruffled hair with my hands and without warning my face crumpled. I covered my eyes and held back a flood of emotion rising behind my usually unreadable face. I sucked in a deep breath. Jesus! I needed more alcohol or I was going to start crying.

Fighting off the pain and the tears, I mentally sought out the anger. If I could stay angry, I would be okay.

Back in my seat, I caught the drinks trolley again and threw back another bourbon. The girl—whose name I couldn’t remember—was thankfully not clingy or a talker. For the rest of the flight she spared me the unwanted small talk and after we landed she simply handed me her business card and said, “Maybe next time I can buy you a drink.”

It was late afternoon when I left the airport and despite being tanked, stopped at the bar in the hotel lobby for another round. I just wanted the pain to go away so I put away several more bourbons, and by the time I made it back my room I was fall down drunk.

I called Armie and left some ridiculously garbled message about not being able to make it to the meet and greet. Then letting my phone drop to the floor, I fell onto the bed and passed out.

It hurt less this way.

* * * * *

HARLOW

My plane landed in Vegas just after seven. With only an overnight bag I jumped straight into a cab out the front of the airport.

Earlier I had spoken to Piper and she’d told me where the guys were staying. As far as she knew, Heath was in his room, sleeping off a hangover that had kept him from some kind of publicity commitment. That explained why I hadn’t heard from him.

That, and he was probably still pissed at me.

It was getting dark when arrived at the hotel and the sky was a deep sapphire. The cab parked beside a row of palm trees and I was suddenly overcome with butterflies in my stomach, wondering if I had done the right thing in showing up unannounced.

I followed Piper’s instructions and took the elevator to Heath’s room and knocked on his door. When there was no answer I knocked again.

Again, there was no answer and I wondered if he had gone out, and what I was going to do until he came back.

Just as I was about to turn and walk away, the door cracked open and Heath’s rumpled face appeared in the doorway.

He didn’t say anything when he saw me but his brows pulled into a frown. I swallowed hard and my heart was stopped by the cold look on his face. He was still pissed at me.

“Hey … surprise,” I said quietly, instantly afraid I’d done the wrong thing in coming.

“Harlow.” His tone made my stomach churn.

Was he annoyed at me for turning up unannounced? Or was he still angry from our argument?

Oh God, did he have a girl in there with him?

“Are you okay?” I asked, suddenly feeling sick. “Do you want me to go?”

His sleepy eyes darkened. “Sorry, I just woke up.”

Pushing open the door he stepped aside for me to enter. The room was dark except for a light coming from the bathroom. Across the room the bed was made but I could see the dent from his body on top of the quilt.

Once he had closed the door behind us, I dropped my bag on the floor and put my arms around him. His familiar warmth was comforting and even though he hesitated when my lips found his, they soon parted and tangled with mine in a deep kiss. Strong arms came around me to pull me against him. He squeezed me tight and then let me go.

“I’m sorry about the argument,” I said. “I should’ve put you first and I’m sorry that I didn’t.”

“Harlow …” he went to say something, but stopped.

He moved away and sat on the bed, and I felt the cold trickle of foreboding in my veins.

Something was wrong.

Something big stood between us.

Something I couldn’t see but I could definitely feel.

“Heath?”

Unsure of what was going on I sat next to him. But the unseen presence between us was unnerving. I turned his head to look at me but he pulled away and abruptly stood up, walking towards the bathroom.

I felt the sting of his rejection but worse, I felt the rising anxiety that things were about to fall apart.

“What’s going on with you? Do you want me to leave?”

He stopped in the doorway to the bathroom, with his back to me. His head dropped as he gripped the doorframe. His strong back muscles rolled underneath tight skin.

“Don’t torture me Harlow. Get it over and done with.” He said quietly.

“What are you talking about?”

He swung around. “What are you doing here?”

Totally taken back by his words and his behavior towards me, I couldn’t hide my confusion. “I wanted to see you.”

“To break up with me?” he asked desperately.

His words were like ice water on the face.

“Break up with you?” It was the most absurd thing I’d ever heard. I shook my head. “Why would I want to break up with you? It was just some stupid argument.” None of this was making sense. I looked at his beautiful, sad face and felt a another surge of fear. “Heath, what’s going on?”

Now he looked confused.

“You’re not here to break up with me?”

I shook my head.

“Heath, you’re scaring me. Why would you think I was here to break up with you over some stupid fight we had?”

He walked towards me. But instead of sitting on the bed, he sat on the floor with his back to the mattress. Then, without a word he dropped his head to his hands.

Puzzled, I kneeled next to him and removed his hands from his face, holding them in mine. Tears welled in his eyes. But there was also something else there, something I didn’t recognize on him.

Fear.

“Baby … please tell me what is wrong with you,” I whispered.

He hesitated, struggling to find the words.

“I saw you.” His glittering eyes found mine. “Today. I saw you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Back in California.” He looked at me and the anger returned to his face. “With Colton.”

My brain rushed to process this muddled conversation. “Wait. You came home today?”

“I wanted to surprise you. To apologize for our fight. So I took an early flight. Then I saw you …” His eyes filled with sadness. “When were you going to tell me you were back with Colton?”

Whoa … what?

“Back with Colton…? Oh my God, this is crazy.”

It was almost as if I had stepped into this conversation mid-conversation. None of it made sense. Why would Heath think I was back with Colton? Unless … oh hell …

“You saw Colton kiss me,” I said.

His eyes flared across at me. “I saw you kiss each other.”

Mine flared back. “I didn’t kiss him. He kissed me.”

“I didn’t see you push him away. From where I was sitting it looked pretty mutual.”

His words made me frown. I sat back from him, startled by his lack of faith in me.

“I don’t know what you think you saw, but if you think I kissed him, you are wrong. Yes, Colton kissed me. But did I kiss him back? No. Did I get back with him? No. Do I want to? No.” I raised my chin, slightly. “I guess you didn’t stick around long enough to see me punch him in the jaw for it either.”

His eyes shot to mine. “You hit him?”

A small smile flickered at my lips. “Floored him. Then I told him I didn’t want to get back together. That I couldn’t.” I bit my bottom lip. “Because I’m crazy in love with someone else.”

“You’re still in love with me,” he whispered. More to himself than me.

“Crazy in love with you.”

To my surprise his face suddenly crumpled. He pressed his hands to his eyes and then ran them down his cheeks with a moan.

“You’re really not going back to Colton…?”

“Is that what all of this was about?” I asked, confused by the sadness still in his eyes. “You thought I had stopped loving you over a stupid argument and was getting back with Colton?”

When he nodded I straddled him and took his face in my hands, holding him close to my lips. “I’m sorry you thought that. But I love you Heath. I promise you. I’m all yours.” I kissed him but there was still a hesitation about him. I pulled back. “Are we okay?”

He kissed me, this time deeply. He reached up and cupped my face in his hands, his big fingers firm against my jaw. His moan ignited the usual response between my thighs and I pressed harder against his jeans. As our kiss grew in momentum he rolled us, planting my back to the floor as he slid between my legs. His kiss was magnificently tender and passionate, his mouth and tongue keeping perfect rhythm with mine.

I sighed and shifted beneath him, pressing myself against the places that mattered in an attempt to quench the need growing inside me. Pleasing moans rumbled from his throat, pushing me forward, urging me onwards. My body pulsed; my pelvic muscles throbbed, feeling empty and wanting to be filled.

But to my complete disappointment, Heath abruptly ended our kiss and dropped his head to my chest.

I thought I heard him murmur, “I can’t do this tonight.” But I wasn’t sure. Things were weird. Really weird.

The day had rattled him and I didn’t want to push him. We were in unfamiliar territory, especially Heath, and I didn’t want to pressure him with a hundred questions.

He looked up at me. His eyes a dark blue. “I think I’m hung over.”

“How much did you drink last night?”

He sat up and entwined his fingers through mine. “It’s not from last night.” He looked down, his lashes fanning his cheeks. “After I saw you and Colton … let’s just say the flight back to Vegas is a bit of a blur.” He drew in a deep breath as if the thought physically hurt him. “When you got here I wasn’t taking a nap … I was passed out.”

“You drank enough to pass out?”

His dark brows shot in as he stared at my fingers entangled with his. “I just wanted it to stop hurting.”

I waited ’til I could see the blue of his eyes before I spoke. “I’m here now.”

He looked exhausted as he said, “I can’t believe how lucky I am that you’re mine.”

“Nothing is going to take me away from you.”

He looked down at our fingers entwined and whispered, “I hope so baby. I really, really hope so.”

Chapter Fifteen HEATH

I didn’t tell her for any other reason than I’m an asshole and I wanted one last night with her. I’m a selfish ass, I know. But once I told her, she would break up with me and never let me see her again. And I couldn’t blame her. I was a cheating jerk and didn’t deserve her.

Keeping it from her tonight wasn’t the right thing to do, I knew that, but I needed something to hold on to once she was gone.

But my selfish intentions were quick to work against me because everything she did reminded me of just how much in love with her I was. It made my heart ache and I spent the night in agony, knowing she would stop loving me when she found out.

How could I have done this to us?

To her?

Despite my hangover I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted to savor every last moment with her; because in the morning I would tell her and she would walk out of my life forever.

But sleep crept up on me. Lying with her in my arms I was overcome with an incredible peace like I had never known, and in my contentment I fell asleep.

I woke up with a start, just as dawn was breaking across the city.

Harlow was in a deep sleep beside me, her breath quiet, her beautiful dark lashes fanning her cheeks. As I gazed down at her my body physically ached for her.

How on earth was I going to live without her?

For the briefest moment I considered not telling her, but immediately vanquished the thought. That wasn’t who I was. I may have been a lot of things, but a coward wasn’t one of them. There was no other option but to man up and admit that I had fucked up the best thing that had ever happened to me.

When Harlow stirred I kissed her gently on the top of the head and settled next to her, holding her warm body against my chest, breathing in the subtle scent of her, hoping to permanently etch it onto my senses so I could remember it when she was gone.

My stomach ached at the thought. I didn’t want her to hate me. I didn’t want her to leave me. Being with her made me a better person. She soothed my restlessness and turned an indifferent, angry man into a decent human being. But my insecurity had unraveled it momentarily, just long enough for me to fuck it all up.

Her gentle lips brought me out of my deep thoughts. She was looking up at me through sleepy eyes, her perfect mouth turned up in a small, contented smile.

“Hey,” she whispered.

“Hey, yourself.”

She curled her warm body around mine and I felt myself respond. She closed her eyes and her hand slid along the length of my chest and across my hips, brushing over my boxers, as a delicious hum escaped her throat.

Wandering fingers slid under the waistband and inside my boxers, wrapping warmth around me as she gripped me and began to slowly stroke. Another contented smile slid across her lips when she felt how hard she was making me.

Pleasure pulsed through me and I moaned. Instinctively I raised my hand to brush her hair from her shoulder and trace an invisible line down her throat to her breasts, sighing as a sweet, pleasurable pulse began to beat beneath her fingers.

I bent my head to kiss her mouth and she murmured against me. Short sweet kisses grew deeper and longer. As another pulse of pleasure shot through me, I sealed my lips over her mouth in a long lingering kiss, savoring the moment and how amazing she felt against my lips.

She stopped stroking and took my hand, placing it between her thighs where my fingers slid easily into her wet warm body. She sighed softly and I groaned, desperately wanting to be inside her. I rose up and kicked off my boxer shorts in one swift movement and moved myself between her legs, positioning myself against her.

As she looked up at me, her eyes heavy lidded with desire, I gently, slowly, pushed into her.

She sighed and moaned, then licked her lips as I pulled back, only to push back into her, deeper and right to the hilt. She gasped and moaned, and adjusted her hips to wrap her legs around me, pulling me deeper into her. The pleasure stalled me and I stopped to catch my breath. The sensation was incredible. Her skin was so warm. So smooth. So wet. As she raised her arms to engulf me in her embrace, she pulled me tightly to her, which forced me deeper into her.

Pleasure filled every part of me. Like nothing I had never known. And I had to squeeze my eyes shut to fight off the urge to come. I wanted it to last. I wanted her to feel how I was feeling right at that moment. So I thrust deeper into her, making her cry out, but then stopped, and pressed myself hard against her.

Cupping her face in my hands I looked into her warm eyes.

“I’m so in love with you Harlow,” I said gently, meaning every word like I had never meant anything else.

She smiled softly and her long lashes were a gentle fan as she blinked. “I love you too.”

When I felt her pulsate around me, physical pleasure and love collided within me, forcing me to draw in a deep breath. If she kept doing that, I was going to come. But that wasn’t what this was about. I needed her to know just how much she meant to me.

“I want you to know that I’ve never felt this way. You make everything worthwhile.”

We made love then. Slowly. Purposely. Taking our time. Every movement purposeful. Every stroke penetrating deeper and deeper. I had never had sex without protection and the sensation was mind blowing.

As Harlow’s breaths came quicker she raised her hips to meet the slow grind of mine, her hands running up my back, her nails gently grazing my skin as she came closer to the edge. My name dropped breathlessly from her lips, “Oh Heath.” And her eyes closed tightly as she pulsated around me, her tight wet body throbbing against me. Her neck tilted upwards and her back arched, her hands gripping into my shoulders and the sheets around us.

One more thrust into her and I was gone. I squeezed my eyes shut and stars cartwheeled across my brain. All the oxygen in my lungs escaped and my body stiffened as the most incredible pleasure overwhelmed me. Warmth and light drugged my senses. Joy and ecstasy seeped into every pore. Goddamn.

My head fell to her neck and I buried my face in the warmth of her skin. “Oh baby,” I shuddered, spilling into her in what had to be the longest orgasm in my life. I didn’t move. Couldn’t move. I was paralyzed by the euphoria that overwhelmed my brain.

We were both still as we caught our breath and our bodies cooled. Finally, I raised my head and she looked up at me with lazy contentment. Christ, I was so in love with her, it hurt.

We stayed entwined for the longest time, with me still inside her.

When I finally went to move she held me still with her legs, pinning me against the slick skin of her naked body. She clenched and released around me, the slippery warmth of her muscles furling and unfurling, making me harder.

Slowly. Without words. We made love again. This time lazily, our bodies working together in a perfect, slow rhythm. She came again, clutching the sheet around us and moaning. My orgasm came as a surprise, from out of nowhere, to completely devastate my already hazy brain.

Afterwards we lay sprawled, exhausted and naked, on the bed. I was spent. Stoned by the magic we had created. Twice. I didn’t even know that was fucking possible.

“Today is your big day,” she finally murmured, her arm draped across my chest.

My fingertips swept across the length of her smooth limb but paused as I realized I had completely forgotten about our performance at the festival today. Since Harlow arrived I had been too caught up in telling her what a cheating loser I was to even think about Vengeance’s performance at the festival.

“Are you nervous?” she asked.

I turned and looked her in those fucking amazing piercing eyes, and shook my head. “No. I haven’t really thought about it.”

She smiled. “That doesn’t surprise me. You take everything in your stride. I wish I had half of your confidence.”

The love I saw looking back at me gave me brief hope. Maybe she would understand. Maybe when I explained the situation … the misunderstanding … the pain … thinking she had gone back to Colton …

“Baby, I need to tell you something.” I felt my heart thunder against my chest.

She cocked a brow. “You look so serious.” She grinned but it faded when she realized I was serious. “Is everything alright?”

“Being here with you, it’s perfect …”

Her eyes softened and she smiled sweetly. “We are pretty perfect together.”

“Yesterday, when I saw you with Colton, baby it killed me—”

“Heath, nothing is going to come between you and me. I love you.”

She smiled that amazing smile and I just couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her what a jerk I had been!

Fuuuuuuuuck!

It felt too good, lying across from her, seeing her look at me like that, seeing how much love she had for me, seeing how incandescently beautiful she was. I couldn’t do it. The words weren’t there. I looked for them, I really did, but that smile …

She sat up and her dark hair cascaded over her smooth shoulders.

“Okay mister rock star, you need to hit the showers. This is your big day. You need to be ready.” She winked and ushered me off the bed.

Under the shower I let the hard spray of water wash over me, hoping it would wash away some of the guilt consuming me.

Christ, it was getting harder to tell her. If I waited for the right time … well, there wasn’t a right time to tell the girl you were crazy about that you had cheated on her with a girl whose name you didn’t even know.

I had missed my opportunity to say something today. Now I needed to mentally prepare for the show and get my headspace right. It would have to wait now, until tomorrow. I shivered. Fuck.

The shower screen opened and there was Harlow, perfectly naked in front of me. Flawless and alluring, her dark hair fell around her face and tumbled in waves down her back. Every perfect, amazing inch of her naked body was smooth and tanned. And the look on her face. Goddamn!

Despite my guilt. Despite my shame at not telling her. The glorious sight of her made parts of me pulse and grow. Again.

As she stepped into the shower her eyes fell in that directon and her mouth curled into a sexy closed-lip smile. She looked up and her bright green eyes glittered with wickedness. They rolled over me like I was a delectable piece of dessert that she was about to devour.

“Again?” I laughed as she reached for me.

Her tongue slid up the length of my neck. “Again, and again, and again,” she whispered.

Hell, who was I to argue?

* * * * *