Текст книги "Out of Play"
Автор книги: Nyrae Dawn
Соавторы: Jolene Perry
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Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 17 страниц)
Chapter Twenty-five
Bishop
Sixty days later
Dear Penny,
I feel like an ass for writing this. It’s such an easy way out. I’m pretty sure if I would’ve written you before…everything, I never would’ve heard the end of it. You would have talked shit, and then I would have kicked your ass on the snowmachines to show you how cool I am.
This isn’t a few months ago, though, is it? I’d be surprised if you’re even still reading this. You’ve been known to have a bit of a temper, ya know?
I’m sorry it took so long for me to write. Sorry I screwed up so badly. Sorry I lied. But most of all, I’m sorry about Gramps. Sorry he’s gone and I couldn’t save him. That I couldn’t hold you while you cried. Wiped your tears in a way you never would have wanted someone to do, except after something that huge. It kills me that I walked out on you—just left without a word, but that’s because of me, okay? Not you. And I didn’t want to leave you, but I needed to get well. Remember that.
God, I miss him. I can’t imagine how you feel without him. He was so cool… I loved him. He knew everything about me, and he still loved me and thought I was something special. Gramps was special.
You’re a lot like him. Not sure if I ever told you that.
I seriously hate doing this through e-mail. I deserve having to face you in person, to admit what I did. To actually see how much I disappointed you.
That’s not going to happen, though, so I’ll say it now. I started taking pills because I couldn’t handle the crowds. Couldn’t deal with being on the road. After that, it escalated until I couldn’t stop.
My mom and manager sent me to Alaska when I almost OD’d. I didn’t get it. It took you, Gramps, and even Gary to start to make me see. It wasn’t enough, though. What did it was hearing about your dad. Someone like me took your father away from you. Then I realized I was an addict and a coward.
It doesn’t excuse shit, but I want you to know I planned to tell you. After the game, I was going to come clean and then leave for rehab. It didn’t go down like that, though.
The night we lost Gramps…the night YOU lost Gramps, I lost it. All I could think about was you being hurt and Gramps being gone, and I downed a bunch of pills.
Fuck, it’s embarrassing to even admit that. While you were in the hospital and Gramps was dying, I had to get high. I’ve never hated myself as much as I did then.
I don’t know what you know, or what you want to know, but I’ve been in rehab ever since. I went straight to the airport. Got off the plane and went straight to rehab. Not like that makes anything better, but it’s true.
So yeah, that’s all. Today’s my last day, and I wanted you to know that I’m sorry. For the lies, drugs, not being what you needed, Gramps, everything.
Hopefully, one day, I’ll deserve everything you guys gave me.
Kick ass out there on the ice. Show those guys Lucky Penny can take them all. I know whatever your injury was, it won’t hold you back.
Love,
Bishop
PS… When Gary and I used to walk, we used that time to talk. He told me about making schedules, so I now I have one. Every day, I’m going to work on my Ranchero—to fix her up. I’ve wanted to do that for so long but never took the time. I will now. And don’t laugh at this next one, but I’m also getting a snowmachine. I already picked it out online. She’s all white like the snow—gorgeous. Mom thinks I’m crazy, but I know you’ll understand.
I hit send on the email as there’s a knock on the door. “Come in,” I call, knowing its Mom. She’s the only one who’s come to see me since I’ve been here. The only one I’ve wanted to see.
“Hey, sweetie. Are you excited to go home today?” She’s smiling as she sits next to me, but I can tell she’s nervous. Makes sense. I’m not sure if I would trust me, either. I feel good, though. Better than I remember feeling in a long-ass time. It’s kind of like Gary said, I’m going back to when things were simple, going to hold on to the things that matter—the things that ground me. I know there’s a lot to deal with. A long road ahead of me, but I actually think I might be looking forward to it.
“I don’t know if excited is the right word, but I think I’m ready.”
Mom’s wearing her hair in a loose ponytail like always and a pair of jeans. She smiles at me before leaning forward to put a hand on my knee. Instead, I pull her into a hug. Struggling, I try to remember the last time I hugged my own mom. God, I was so screwed up.
Mom’s shoulders start to shake, and I know she’s crying. The sniffles start, and I hold her tighter. “I’m sorry, Ma… I can’t believe everything I put you through. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she tries to tell me, but I shake my head.
“It’s not okay. None of it. You protected me. Gave me everything. Let me follow my dream, and I wasn’t man enough to handle it. And I took it out on you… Not letting you go with me to Alaska? God, I can’t believe that.”
“It was me.” She holds my hand. “Who insisted you go… Or do something. I wanted rehab, but I knew you’d never go for it. I’m the one who pushed Don to give you the ultimatum.”
Wow… I didn’t see that coming. “Thanks. For doing that. I probably wouldn’t have…yeah, I might not be here if you hadn’t.”
She cries harder. We sit like that for a long time. Finally she pulls away. Her nails are still the same shade of pink as always. She wipes her eyes. Smiles at me. “I love you, Bishop. I’ll always love you. And I’m looking forward to your future. I know who you are, and that other guy? He wasn’t you. I can’t wait to watch you shine.”
I hug her again. Tell her thank you and that I refuse to screw up this time. I want to be the person she thinks I am. The person I want to be.
She tells me she loves me again, and I know we’re okay. It’s only the start, though. I’m going to keep proving myself. For mom, Penny, Gramps…for me.
“You ready to get out of here?” I’m going home with her instead of my old house. I don’t want anything to do with the guy who lived there.
…
The last thing I ever would have thought I would say is that I actually kind of enjoy going to my meetings. Maybe enjoy isn’t the right word, but I don’t dread them, either. There hasn’t been one I’ve missed. It’s crazy what realizing you aren’t alone can do. I was a druggie and screwed-up. Screwed-up a lot, but it doesn’t define me, and I’m not the only one.
Talking with people, I see that my dad could have been responsible for some of my anxiety, too.
My car gets a lot of my attention. It’s my own form of Troy’s trees.
When I need to be alone, I walk. Sometimes with Gary, sometimes not. Troy and I have even started working out together. Even though I shouldn’t, I can’t help but wonder what Penny would say if she saw how ripped I am now.
I send her emails, but they’re usually just little things here and there. It took her a while to answer my first one—not that I blame her, she did because she’s strong like that. And like I knew she would, she’s going to school in Alaska. She’ll kick those guys’ asses.
There’s a cab waiting for me outside my meeting. After waving bye to my sponsor, I get in the car and give him the address to my old house. Mom is there when I arrive, waiting on the porch. It’s the first time I’ve been here since I came back to L.A.
“She’s running late. She said she’ll be here in about ten minutes. It won’t take long to sign the papers, though.” Mom stands from where she’d been sitting on the steps.
“Okay.” Staring at the house, something hits me. It wasn’t this place I should be scared of, it’s the old me. Maybe this house, saying goodbye to it, is another way to say goodbye to the old Bishop.
My hands don’t even shake as I unlock the door. It’s empty. Mom took care of that for me.
And…it’s only a house. Yeah, it’s the place I’ve done a lot of drugs and other things I shouldn’t have, but that’s all it is.
“You okay?” Mom’s arm slides through mine.
“Better than okay.”
She gives me a small squeeze. “Yeah, I think you are. This is a big step, though, Bishop. Not just the house, but everything. Are you sure it’s what you want? You’re really sure about this?”
Turning toward her, I smile. “More than sure.” And it’s true. So incredibly true.
Chapter Twenty-six
Penny
Mom and Ben drop me off at the motocross track on my way home from physical therapy. If I’m careful, I’ll be playing hockey for UAF in just a few months, practicing with the team in a few weeks.
“Penny!” Chomps jumps off his bike. “You know the rules.”
My body tenses, preparing to fight them off. “Oh. No.” I hold my finger up in warning. “Don’t you dare. I wore a skirt as a show that I’m not going to try to ride.”
“Help me with the cripple!” he yells, and in seconds four guys have me in a lock as they duct tape my right arm to my side, wrapping the stuff around me at least four times.
I’m laughing so hard my sides hurt as I try to kick them away. “You assholes!” I yell.
Mitch smirks as he throws his arm over Becca’s shoulder. “Can’t have that arm getting hurt.”
“Seriously?” I widen my eyes and stare down at the tape crisscrossing around my middle. “The stuff hurts my arm hairs, and this shit is getting old.”
Only I’m snorting as I try to keep a straight face, and the guys are still laughing and putting their helmets on for a few more laps.
“Come sit.” Becca moves toward the stands, and I follow her with my stupid arm taped to my side. I wonder what my physical therapist would say about this.
I itch to get on my bike as they tear up the track. Chomps is being sloppy today, and I know I’d kick his ass. “I hate being on the sidelines.” I growl as I sit while wearing one of the many outfits Becca made me get before she agreed we should be roommates. Actually, I think she said we were going to be roommates, but not until I started dressing like a girl instead of a jock.
“You look hot, Penny Jones. I’m impressed.” She giggles as she takes another sip of her Diet Coke.
“Yeah, well…” And it’s not as weird as I would have thought. I get glances no matter what—being as tall as I am with white-blond hair does that. And anyway, I like the skirts. Fuel for my ego at the very least.
“Go University of Alaska! The school I can afford!” she fake cheers.
“And Mitch is cool with you not following him to Washington?” I ask.
She shrugs, keeping her gaze on him as he runs the track. “He’s not paying my tuition.”
“Right.” But they’re solid. I know they are. I’ve seen the way they stare at each other, and just thinking about it makes me miss Bishop in a way I wish I didn’t.
Becca sits back, and then nerves settle into my stomach as I try to pick out the end of the duct tape to unroll myself and know I’m about to tell her about him. I’m seriously trembling all over, which is crazy because it’s just a few emails. Everything still feels so raw and fresh, even though it’s been more than three months. “Bishop wrote me.” I cough a few times trying to push out the words. “Well, a few times…” This is so strange, having another girl to talk to about this stuff. Kind of cool, too. “Actually, one long email and then every few days he sends something else.”
“Holy shit.” She sits up so fast her feet slap on the old wood. “Why didn’t you say anything? Have you written back?”
I slide my foot across the bleachers, staring down. “Wasn’t sure how to talk about it yet.” His words have been rattling around in my head for weeks.
“Have you written back? Like…are you two conversing?” She leans in, eyes filled with excitement.
All his words hit me again like punches to the chest. “He went to rehab. Told me everything. Hated how he left things… It took me a while to answer. Like two weeks. But we’ve been writing. A little.”
Becca sips her Diet Coke, still staring, waiting for more story.
“I don’t know what we are.” I set my feet on the bench in front of me just for something to do. Mostly his letters make me hate him and miss him all at once. I don’t know what to do with so much emotion.
She pokes my side. “Look at you. You’re all affected.”
I finally find the end of the tape and start to tug. Anything to keep my hands busy while we’re talking about things I don’t know how to talk about. “Shut up and help me with the duct tape, would you?”
Becca’s grin is completely giddy. “He’s writing you. You’re writing back. You’re so sunk.”
I stand up and turn as she continues to pull on the tape, wincing every time we go over my bare arm. Assholes. Seriously. “Nope. Not sunk. I’m actually not going to complain about you dressing me because I need a normal boyfriend at college, not someone who makes me crazy.”
She scoffs. “Whatever, Penny. We leave in a week, and you’re obviously still in love with him.”
I freeze. Am I?
Chapter Twenty-seven
Bishop
“Thanks for meeting with me, you guys.” I look at Don sitting behind his desk. The rest of my bandmates are in chairs, but I’m standing by the door. I think they’ve known this was coming. I knew it was coming, and I thought it would be harder. Being in a band was always my dream, and I’m not stupid enough to think I won’t miss it, but leaving is what I need. It’s what’s best for me.
“No problem, B.R.” Blake says. He’s the only one besides Don who might get my decision. The only one who comes over to jam with me for no reason. That’s cool. There’ve been enough fake people in my life. I’m ready for real.
Twirling my drumsticks between my fingers, I start to talk. “I’m out, you guys. I know it’s shitty timing, but I also know Don’s smart enough to have a backup plan.” When I look at him again, I get a nod. “I can’t do it anymore.”
“Seriously?” Chase, our guitarist, spits out. “When you checked into rehab and weren’t getting out ‘til after our first few shows, we pushed back the whole fucking tour for you.”
“I know. I’m sorry about that, but I don’t think it’s smart for me to go out there. I don’t want to go out there… It’s… I can’t do it anymore.” Ever since I got out, I’ve been all over the headlines. Exactly like Don said, rehab is hard to keep quiet. Paparazzi follow me. Old pictures of me are splattered all over magazines. “The media will be a distraction for you guys, too. It’s better for us all.”
Chase looks at me like he’s really confused. “Don’t pretend you’re doing this for us. We’ve had your back this whole time for nothing.”
Regardless of what he says, I know this is the right choice.
Blake stands up. “No matter what you want to do, I’ll support you, but you love to play, B.R. You’re the best I’ve seen. Are you sure you want to throw that away?”
I think about the nights on the road. The girls, the parties, the drugs. The pressure, the fights. And then I think how my heart feels alive when I’m sitting behind my drums, keeping rhythm for the guys. How it feels when we nail a new song. “I can still love to play. I can still do it, but…I don’t know. It’s different now. There are other ways to keep music in my life.”
Blake nods. “Yeah… I know. You ever want to come back, we’re cool. You got that?” He gives me a hug, slapping me on the back. The rest of the guys tell me good luck, shake my hand. All surface stuff. There are a lot of people like that in the world, and I’m done surrounding myself with them.
When it’s only me and Don in the office, he speaks for the first time. “You’re under contract.”
“I know.”
He huffs. “We’ll get it worked out. Have to take care of yourself and all that shit.” He doesn’t look any more sincere than he sounds, but I know he is.
I nod and walk away. Almost to the door, I turn to him. “Thanks, Don. For having the balls to send me away. I never would have gone if you didn’t make me.”
For the first time ever, I get a smile out of him. “You have problems with your dad, still come to me, okay? I’ll help you work it out.”
His words settle into me, build me up. There are more people here for me than I used to think. “If I can do anything for you, too, you know I’m here.”
“I know and…you did good, kid. You did good.”
The kid doesn’t even bother me this time.
Gary texts me as I’m about to leave the building.
PAPS ARE OUTSIDE.
Fucking paparazzi. They’re always sniffing around for something.
Without much choice, I push through the door.
“What are you doing here, Bishop?”
“The whole band was here?”
“How do you think you’ll handle your addiction while on the road?”
“Are you still in Burn?”
A few camera flashes go off. Doing my best to ignore them, I jog to Gary’s SUV and get in. “Asshole.”
He chuckles and pulls away from the curb. “Hello to you, too.”
“You know I wasn’t talking to you.” I watch the paparazzi while we drive away. “Thanks for the ride. I can’t believe you’re on time. Troy must not have been home.”
“Don’t be a hater, Ripe. I’m not always with him.”
I’m quiet because we both know he’s full of it.
“Okay, fine. So I’m always with him—when he’s not with you that is. He’s going to be bummed to lose his workout buddy.”
“Me too. He’s cool.” We even know how to talk to each other now. When I need to talk to someone who’s been where I am, Troy is there.
“He had to go out of town. I won’t have you to keep me busy, either.”
I can’t help it, I laugh. I knew something had to be up. But I also remember that as much as Gary never wants to be away from Troy, he left him for months for me. Would have stayed longer. Would probably go back if I asked him, too. He’s probably the best friend I have. I’m okay with that. “Bad timing, huh?”
Gary shakes his head. “Absolutely not. This is your life, Ripe, and I’m stoked for you.” He pauses for a second. “Have you talked to her?”
I know exactly who “her” is. I also knew this was coming. “Same as it has been. We email back and forth a little. It took her a while to answer my first one, but I didn’t give up.”
Gary chuckles. “Push your way back into her life? You’ve always been such a cocky jerk.” There’s teasing in his voice.
“I’m cocky for good reason. But no…not pushing my way anywhere. I like talking to her. Maybe one day, I can really apologize to her.”
He tries to weave through traffic on the 405 Freeway. “Look at you. You’re all sentimental now.”
“I can still kick your ass, though. Keep talking shit, and I will.”
“So violent.” He teases. “She still doesn’t know, though, right?”
Traffic piles up around us. “Nope.” Let’s hope that doesn’t backfire. “You shouldn’t have gone this way. I hate this freeway.” Not like all freeways around here aren’t bad, though.
“You wanna drive?”
“Sure.”
“Shut up.” He gives the line of cars ahead of us the evil eye. “Ugh! Traffic sucks.”
We’re at a dead stop. It’s always like this. And it’s hot, too. I put my feet on the dashboard. “Wake me up when we get there.”
I fucking hate Los Angeles.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Penny
I’m glad I decided not to tell Mom I’m home from college early. Halloween weekend and freaking Chomps is getting married. Crazy. It took them more than the two months I predicted, but it’s still weird. Becca gives me one last wave as I step out of her car, then peels out. Mitch just got home, and I know that’s her next stop.
A pang hits my chest when I step in as I see Gramps’s trailer in the corner, and some random old rock music is playing instead of his country, but it’s better than it was. I’m okay. Or will be.
I hit the top of the stairs, and Ben freezes over the stove. “Penny!”
“Hey.” I glance around. No Mom. Weird. Oh, wait. She said he moved in. Still weird, just not bad weird. “Where’s Mom?”
“You’re a day early.” He keeps smiling. I don’t think he’s faking.
“Yeah.” I shrug. “I wanted home.”
“Your mom went to get something from one of the cabins. Should be back any minute. I was just finishing dinner.” He shakes his head. “You’re more grown up all the time.”
I glance down at my skirt, boots, and tight sweater. “Becca.” I shrug.
He chuckles. “Well. I was going to set up a good time, but it looks like it’s just been given to me.” He leans back and glances out the window.
“Good time for what?” I’m a little on edge, because he’s rubbing his palms on his legs. Definitely suddenly nervous.
“I know you weren’t thrilled about your mom and I…” His smile is gone, and some bizarre expression has taken over. He’s totally freaked out.
I laugh at how nervous he seems to be. “I was pissed that she didn’t tell me what was going on. I didn’t object to you.”
He pulls in a big breath. “Okay. I’m just going to ask.” But the pause is long enough for me wonder if he ever will ask. “I want to marry your mom.”
A bubble of happiness for them swells in my chest, but I try not to show it. He should sweat at least a little. “How does this involve me?”
“You’re her family. I thought you were the one I should ask.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t even know if she’ll say yes—”
I can’t hold in my smile any more. “She’ll say yes.”
“And you?”
“Scared?” I smirk and narrow my eyes.
His shoulders relax a little as something like a smile starts to play on the edges of his mouth. “You’re a force, Penny.”
“I learned from the best—you sure you want to tangle yourself with her?”
“Very sure.” There’s nothing but sincerity in his voice. It’ll take me a while to get used to the idea, but it’s okay.
“Well, I’m going to go check on my ‘Vette and maybe take Bitty into town to catch up with friends. Tell Mom I’ll be back later, and good luck.” I wink.
As I jog down the stairs, an engine in the garage roars to life, and my heart leaps into my throat.
Who has their hands on my car?
I sprint down the stairs and throw open the door.
Bishop.
Riley.
With his hands on my car. Well, not on her now because he’s grinning from ear to ear in the driver’s seat, and my mom is on the other side of the car, watching him and looking just as happy.
I’m so stunned I’m frozen in the doorway.
Bishop smiles even wider as his hands run over the steering wheel.
I’m choking on words, and my heart’s hammering because he’s here. And Mom hasn’t killed him.
I have no idea where we stand after three months of giving each other crap through email, and now…
He glances to the side and our eyes catch. Mom gives me a quick half squeeze before stepping around me and into the house. I can’t register any of it. Just Bishop.
God, he’s the same. But…better. There’s shock on his features that is also probably on mine. And then it’s like he finally snaps into the present. He reaches over slowly and turns the key, letting my Corvette shudder ‘til she stops.
I’ve forgotten how to move or breathe or…
“What are you—”
“I can explain—” We say at the same time as he steps out of the car with his hands up in surrender.
I want to throw my arms around him and bury my face in his smell. Feel his hands holding me. Glancing away, I see a box of pizza on the counter. It’s easier to look there than at him right now. “So…you got Ditch to deliver and Mom not to kill you?” It’s a stupid distraction.
“What can I say? I’m good.”
At that, I turn to him and shake my head.
“I wanted to surprise you…” He looks back at the Corvette and then toward me. “Surprise.” He gives me his cocky half-smile that makes my insides melt. And he looks good. Healthy in a way he didn’t look before, only I hadn’t noticed then.
“I’m just…” And after only talking through email, I want to feel him again. I can’t handle weird or awkward with him. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“You have no idea.” He gives me a real smile, and it’s like I’m seeing all the best parts of him at once. His eyes. The way he really takes me in when he looks at me…
He glances lower and tenses up a little. He gets this sort of faraway look.
I snap my fingers a few times as I let out a nervous little laugh. “Are you seriously checking me out?”
“You look… There is no way you wore that thinking no one was going to check you out.”
We take a few steps closer, and I really look at him again. His hair is back to rocker band blond, and he’s in a snug grease-stained T-shirt with even a little more muscle under it than before. And he still has his lip ring. I love that lip ring. He looks every inch of the rock star he is. Or was. Or…
“What are you doing here?”
“Wanted to show Mom Alaska. Wanted to see you. I’ve been working on your car and helping Pat at the music store. I had to figure out who I am when I’m not trying to be someone else. Just taking it a day at a time. I have the time and money, you know, so…”
Uncertainty creeps in as him being here feels more real. “Why didn’t you come see me? Tell me you were here? I’m, like, four hours up the highway.”
He fingers his lip ring and blinks a few times. “I didn’t want to come too early. Didn’t want you to turn me away. The second I got your first email, I was itching to throw my arms around you, but I felt like… I felt like I wanted to earn you—to make sure I was okay. Like I told you in the emails, I’m doing my meetings, working on cars, working out, and it’s great, but I wanted to fix her for you, too.” He nods at the car. Then he smirks. “Plus, if I waited long enough, I thought you might miss me enough to forgive me.”
Warmth spreads through my chest because he’s completely right. He knows me well. “You look happy,” I say as he reaches forward to slide his fingers through mine. I stare at where they come together for a moment before daring to see what’s in his eyes.
“I am happy.” His lips press together. “So…it’s okay that I’m here?”
I swallow hard as nerves settle in again. “Yes.”
“And that I’ve had my hands on your car?” His voice is quiet. More quiet than I’ve ever heard him. Every breath from him, every word, every movement is something that I feel, something I want to be a part of. How did I stay away from him for so long?
“Yes. All okay.” And feeling so much I step closer, like all this newness is something we can share. He’s holding both my hands in his two, and I realize I might actually get him. Emotion pours through me as I stare at his rough hands holding mine.
This moment is more intense than anything we’ve shared so far. Like everything we’ve gone through together and apart is starting to lead to something really amazing. Something I’m finally ready for. Maybe it’s good that we had so much time apart. Maybe I’m ready to appreciate all the good things that come from his experiences. Gramps was right. People who have been a lot of places make decisions about what they want, and those decisions really mean something. Bishop choosing to be here with me means something.
He lets go of my hands, and his thumbs wipe my tears away. “God, I wanted to be there, Penny. I did. You have no idea how much. It killed me that I left you…still kills me. But even when everything was good with us, perfect, I was still barely hanging on. I had to get help…had to get better so I would be what you deserve. What both of us deserve. I know how I did it sucks, but in the end, and for the long term, it was the right thing to do.”
I step into his arms and let Bishop hold me. “I don’t hate that I love you anymore.”
He squeezes me tighter. “Only you would admit to loving someone that way.” He’s quiet for a moment, and then I feel his hand slide through my hair. “I missed this…your hair…the way you smell…the way you feel. I’m so fucking in love with you, Penny Jones.”
I can’t lift my head from his shoulder, can’t stand the idea of his arms not being around me. I pull on him even tighter.
“I’m going to regret not having recorded this conversation,” he says. “You totally said you loved me first.”
“Guess that means I win.” I lean back to see him. His eyes are full of love and friendship and everything.
He laughs. “I’m pretty sure I’m the winner.”
Whatever. We can argue that one later. I’m determined to best him in some way.
“So, Ben’s going to propose to Mom, I’m guessing tonight. I say that since my car’s running, we should test it out. Maybe go check out your place.” I’m not scared. I’m not embarrassed. It’s him. Us. Everything. I’ve never wanted something the way I want him. Ever. It’s scary, but being next to him makes me feel like not even skating can, and I can’t wait to see what happens when we’re even closer.
Bishop grins. “I was fully prepared to get my ass kicked for fixing your car, and you’re asking me out?”
I lean in and whisper, “I’m here for a long weekend, and I really want some firsts with you.” I hold him tighter, afraid to see his face but afraid to look away, afraid for him to tell me no. “And I sort of need a date to Chomps’s wedding.”
He chuckles. “You know, I was going to try to be all nice and tell you I wanted to start over, and if all you could do was be friends that I’d be okay with it.”
“I don’t work like that.” I shake my head and let my smile take over. This is actually going to work. I don’t doubt him. It’s not just in his eyes, it’s in everything—the way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the way he can tell me he loves me one minute and tease me the next.
“I know.”
I blink, still amazed that he’s holding me, but it’s more easy and perfect than I thought possible. “I know what I want.”
His nose touches my cheek, and he closes his eyes. “I think you always know what you want, Penny Jones.”
“And I want you.” I slide my lips against his, and his reaction is immediate. I don’t melt into his kiss—I dissolve into it. Into him. And as screwed up as everything got, it’s pretty perfect right now. And there’s no way in hell I’m going to let that change.
