Текст книги "Out of Play"
Автор книги: Nyrae Dawn
Соавторы: Jolene Perry
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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 17 страниц)
I pull Gramps to me and hug him, wishing I knew how to say thanks. That I need him. That he’s been like a father to me, but more because he chose to be here. The way he squeezes me back shows me he already knows.
There’s a loud rumble of a truck from outside. Gramps and I pull apart and I wipe my face again. Gramps gives my arm another squeeze before I walk away. I get to the garage door when he calls, “Just don’t fuck it up, Rookie.” There’s laughter in his voice.
“You have some dirt on your forehead, old man. Maybe I’m the one who needs to clean you up.”
Gramps laughs. “Like I said, no respect. You’re lucky I love ya.”
His words make me freeze. I am lucky. I try to tell him I love him, too, but I can’t, so instead I say, “Thanks. And we’ll work on the car again soon, yeah?”
“Yeah.” He gives me a small wave before I run out to meet the guys.
We drive for, like, forty-five minutes. I’m seriously starting to wonder if these guys really do want to find a place to hide my body. It’s going to suck to have to kick Penny’s friends’ asses, but I’ll do it.
They’re listening to Cyclops, who I hate. The urge to tell them what a bunch of assholes they are hits me, but then remember I’m not supposed to know famous people. My head’s all out of whack after talking with Gramps—better—but still all messed up. If this sledding thing is as cool as they say, I’m anxious to get out there and do it. Hopefully, it will get my mind off of everything. Alaska’s good for that, I’m noticing. When I’m feeling a little anxious, there’s always some crazy way to burn it off.
Finally, Mitch parks the truck. We’re so far up, if it wasn’t a little too dark, I could probably see the whole valley from up here. This hill looks way bigger than anything I’ve imagined people sledding. It’s more like a cliff. When I think about sledding, I imagine Christmas movies and eight-year-old kids.
“You’re going to love this shit.” Chomps rubs his hands together. We all get out and they start throwing gear at me. It takes me a minute to get on all the stuff I wear snowmachining. Even a helmet. This must be some hardcore sledding.
Mitch grabs the sleds, Matt right behind him. They’re these thick, red plastic sleds with ridges on the bottom, and rubber pads to sit on.
It takes us another twenty minutes to hike up to the place we’re going down from.
Mitch smirks at me. “Newbies first?”
This is definitely a test. Maybe I should respect them for it, and I guess I do, but I also can’t wait to kick their asses. “Why? You scared?”
Chomps laughs and buttons up his coat. “Sounds like you’re the one who’s scared.”
Not likely. I toss my sled on the ground and hold it with my foot. There are no trees this far up, but I can see some way below. If I sled too far down, I’m going to have some serious issues dodging them.
“First time, I go alone. Second time, we race.” I don’t hear if he replies because I sit down and take off. My first thought is holy crap, they were right. This is crazy. I grab on as I lean, hoping it helps me take the turn. It feels like I’m going a million miles an hour. Almost like I’m on the snowmachine, but it’s even more intense because it just feels like it’s me flying down the mountain.
I hit a bump and, no shit, I actually become airborne. “Woo hoo!” I shout. This is incredible. I’m so glad they had the goggles and stuff. Such a rush. When another turn comes up, I lean again. I’m getting close to the bottom now. My sled hits another bump and goes even higher than it did last time. When I hit the ground again, I lose control and catapult off, rolling away from the sled. My body comes to a stop a good twenty feet from where I fell off.
Lying in the snow, I look up at the sky. My chest is going up and down way harder than it should, and I can’t catch my breath. Lying here in the cold-ass snow, all I can think about is how incredible this kind of natural high is. Way better than any kind of drugs. What I said to Gramps earlier is the right thing. This is the kind of thing I want to make me feel good, not pills.
I’m going to talk to Gary. I’m going to go to rehab.
Chapter Twenty
Penny
No one’s saying the “grounded” word, but what else is it when it’s the night before my big game, and I’m not allowed to go out with the guys? Mom and I have passed each other in stony silence dozens of times since I explained, again, that I fell asleep by accident at Bishop’s house. Nothing I say seems to matter. She’s struggling with what to say, too, but neither of us knows how to start.
I liked Mom better when she was spending too much time at work, or screwing Ben, or whatever else she’s doing that she isn’t telling me about.
“Loosen that frown, Lucky Girl.” Gramps rubs a dirty hand across my forehead. “Bishop can handle himself with those boys.”
I lean against the dusty garage wall and fold my arms. “Bishop’s as crazy as the rest of them. He’ll love it. It’s Mom that’s making me insane.”
Gramps nods and starts opening drawers in the toolbox. He does this when he’s not sure what to work on next. He’ll pick a tool and then pick the job that goes with the tool. I’ve always loved this about him.
I push off the wall and slump into one of the greasy camp chairs resting in the garage.
“No, no.” Gramps shakes his head. “You don’t need to talk to me, you need to go talk to that mom of yours.”
“Pfft.” Not likely.
He chuckles. “I just had this talk with the boy. You like him, don’t you?”
I nod and am only a little successful in hiding my smile. “A lot.”
Gramps’s eyes light up. “He’s got history, you know? But those people are the best kind because they already know what’s out there and are ready to figure out what they really want. Do you know what you really want?”
I’m not ready to answer that question. “You going to give me the great opportunities are in front of you speech? The sky is the limit?” If he brings Bishop around to college and leaving, I might freak out.
“No.” He shakes his head. “Go talk to your mom. I think she has a lot of guilt stored up over this and over starting to fall for someone new. Try to see this from her point of view. I’m sure she’s been afraid to say anything. Just give her a chance to explain before you come at her with your attitude.”
I stand. “Fine, fine. I’ll go.”
“I’m not trying to scare you off. I want you to have some of the pie I made this morning and tell me that I’m a regular renaissance man because I’m so multi-talented.” Gramps winks.
I stop in the doorway. “Anything else?”
He pauses for a moment, his brows pulling together. “Bishop asked me to do something, and I can’t for the life of me remember what it was. You got any ideas?”
“None.”
Confusion fills his features before his face relaxes. “It’ll come to me. Good luck with your mom.”
Right.
He’s engrossed the moment he leans over the engine. Apparently, he found the tool he wanted to work with.
As I hit the top of the stairs to grab some dinner, or Gramps’s pie, I figure I should see if Mom wants to talk. Her voice carries from her room into the kitchen. Good. She’s awake. She’s here. We can talk. Maybe it was just guilt that kept her from telling me. I mean, it’s weird, but I knew she’d find someone eventually. When I get to her door, I pause.
“I’ll need to get the story on that kid. He’s obviously a bad influence. I’ve never had to worry about her before. I’m so sorry about the outburst… No, of course it’s not your fault. She’s just a kid… Yeah, I know… She has a temper, that’s all.”
Mom sighs. I ball my hands into fists. Kid? Playing off how pissed I am because of my temper? What the hell? Who is she talking to? It can’t be—
“I know, Ben. I want to see you, too.”
My whole body tenses. She’s talking about me to her boyfriend?
“Once we work past how she’s dealing with this, it’ll all be fine, and she’s heading off to college soon.”
What, does she want me out of here so she can hang with her man anytime she wants? It hurts to breathe. My fingernails press into my palms.
“Okay. Thanks.” Her voice has that same ridiculously over-dramatic tone that Rebecca has with Mitch. “I know. Kid hormones. I’m just not used to it, that’s all… Well, he can’t stick around forever, but it makes me extra determined to get her out of here… That whole situation is strange… I know. Okay, goodnight.”
Now is when I should sulk in my room, but I don’t. I’m not the smartest girl when I’m this worked up.
Mom opens the door and freezes when she sees me.
“Don’t talk about me to your boyfriend!” I yell.
Mom slides her phone into her pocket with shaky hands. It’s as if she’s about to tiptoe through a room with a glass floor. I want her to yell. Tell me I’m being petty. Instead, she goes weirdly stoic. “Penny. We need to talk. I—”
“I’m not a kid. It isn’t a hormone thing. It’s that my mom’s left me here to take care of things while she runs around with some guy she didn’t see the need to tell me about!”
She blinks a few times, still seeming unsure of what to say. “The night you called, I was at work. I couldn’t leave, and—”
I put my hands on my hips. “And what about every other night?”
“Penny,” Mom warns. “I need you to lower your voice.”
“No!” I yell knowing I’m about to unleash and that it won’t be pretty, but I’m past caring right now because it’s been building for way too long. “What about when you weren’t at my games, or when I had to come home instead of going to the party after? What about then? God! The least you could have done was to tell me you were seeing someone!”
“It’s not that simple, Penny.”
“Of course it’s that fucking simple!” And I just shattered any chance we had of making this civilized.
Her nostrils flare, and her mouth pulls into a thin line. We might be about to step into the fight that’s been simmering since I pulled away from her in my truck. “And what have you been doing with Bishop?” Her voice is teetering on the edge of serious anger. “Because it’s not like you to be…to be…sleeping over, or…”
“Don’t. Even.” I point. “This isn’t about me. This is about you!”
“Not when you’re screaming at me like this it isn’t!” Mom yells before pulling in a deep breath, like she’s actually trying to control her frustration. “We need to talk about you now. Not me.”
“Oh. Really? Because you don’t know anything about what’s been happening in my life. Bishop’s the first guy I liked who actually likes me back!” But he’s so much more than that. I just have no idea how to explain, or why I’d want to bother trying with her right now. It’s all in a red haze of frustration and anger anyway.
Mom steps toward me, her face stony, still not pushing back the way I want her to. “Did you know he had a girl up here?”
I suck in a breath, ready for anything she has to say to me. “Of course I know!” I yell. “Why are you so determined to make my decisions for me! Or to ruin this for me?”
Her careful façade breaks, and her face reddens. “Because you’re a kid and don’t know what you want!”
I laugh a harsh laugh, anything to hide how I’m starting to shake apart inside. “I’m a kid?” I know exactly how to send her over the edge, and I can feel the words making their way to the surface even though I’m sure it’s the stupidest thing I could do in this moment. “The tattoo parlor doesn’t think I’m a kid.”
Anger blazes in her eyes, and the silence is weighted enough for me to know it’s time to retreat.
I spin and head for the stairs, my vision and my brain still clouded with frustration. This was supposed to be about her, not me.
“Penny Jones!” Mom’s voice has turned into a low growl. “Get. Back. Up. Here. Now.”
Not going back up will be stepping way into new territory that I’m not sure I’m ready for, but then I hear a quick knock at the door.
“I’ll get the door,” I say as I jump down the last couple steps.
I swing open the front door and come face to face with Rebecca.
My jaw goes slack. What the…? I cannot conceive of any reason for Rebecca to be at my house, but her timing is definitely perfect.
Mom starts stomping down the stairs. “You are not to see him—” She stops as soon as Rebecca comes into view, with a delightfully stunned look on her face—one that makes me know I might be off the hook for just a little bit longer. “Oh. Hello.” Mom’s voice is suddenly bright and happy.
“Mom. This is Becca.” I even try to use the name I know she likes. “She came to help me study since you won’t let me go anywhere.” I try to lay my nicest voice on thick. Thick enough that she knows I’m doing it, but it hopefully won’t make her more angry.
Rebecca’s mouth opens, but she’s quick. “Yeah. I knew Penny would want to get ahead in Government before the big game, so I came by to help her out.” Her sweet voice and the timid way she stands are the perfect counter to Mom’s ferocity.
“Okay. Well. Penny.” Her lips purse together. She’s not happy, but I can tell she’s going to take it. “Don’t stay up too late.”
I give Mom a salute that I hope says fuck you as much as it says yes ma’am.
I slide my arm through Rebecca’s—something I never thought I’d do—and we head for my room.
“What’s going on?” she whispers as we step through the door.
“Long story.” I sigh and flop on my bed.
It’s silent for a few moments, which is fine with me. I have no idea what to talk to Mitch’s girlfriend about.
“Your room looks like a guy’s room, Penny. It’s all blue and black and hockey.” She shakes her head but still stands just inside my doorway, as if she’s not sure if she wants to be in here.
“You’ve been over here before.” I grab a puck off my nightstand and spin it in my hands.
“Actually, you make me change for the hot tub in the tiny unfinished bathroom downstairs.”
I cringe because it now seems pretty harsh. “Yeah. Sorry about that.”
Her smile is wry. “Sure you are.”
I fiddle with the edge of my blanket and try to figure out what I’m supposed to say next. “So… What are you doing here?”
“Waiting for Mitch. I knew you couldn’t go with them, but I thought I’d come in and wait for the guys to come back if it was okay. Ever since they caught us together, my parents think Mitch is the devil’s spawn or something, so I’m still on lockdown. I had to lie and tell them I was helping you with Government to get to the party the other night.”
“Yeah. Okay.” This should not be so uncomfortable. Being friends with a girl should be easier than this. “Have a seat.” There. That seems friendly. I scoot up on my bed to make room. If she’s trying, which she obviously is, I should try, too.
“So, you okay?” she asks.
I’m not sure where to start, but I am sure I don’t know Rebecca well enough to be baring my soul here. “What?”
Rebecca cringes. “I could hear you and your mom.”
I roll my head around trying to get rid of some of the tension. “She’s pissed over Bishop, and I’m pissed for other things, and I get my temper from her, so…”
She smiles. “So when you two argue, it’s like world war three?”
I grin back. “Pretty much, yeah.”
She rests back on her arms. “My parents are, like, insane about everything.”
“Which is why they freaked out over Mitch.” And the cool thing is that Mitch doesn’t come close to Bishop in a million ways, so having her here… I don’t know, but it feels okay.
“And why is your mom freaked out over Bishop?”
I could tell her my mom probably thinks Bishop and I had sex like her and Mitch, but that’s way into personal territory. “I don’t think my mom knows what to do with the idea that a guy could like me.” I barely know what to do with it.
“Don’t worry, Penny.” Rebecca smiles a bit. “I have a feeling Bishop has a way with people. I’m sure he’ll turn your mom around.”
I hope so. And then I realize that a girl and I just talked about boys, and I didn’t sprout pink fingernails, hell hasn’t frozen over (that I know of), and it might even be okay.
Chapter Twenty-one
Bishop
Another sleepless night. I thought this shit was over. Telling Gramps, deciding to go to rehab, and talking to Penny should have taken all the stress away, but it didn’t. My brain was still going, my eyes still open as I tossed and turned. I would have done anything for an anxiety pill, but I’m determined to be clean now. It makes sense to start now, to make myself proud now. Which I am sort of proud, so why couldn’t I sleep?
I got my ass kicked sledding down the hill. My body was exhausted, but it also hurt. But again, no pills, so I tried to deal with it. Alaska sledding is no joke. I will seriously never look at it the same way again.
Actually, I wonder if I’m going to see anything the same after Alaska. Which is crazy. I never expected to come here and have an epiphany or whatever, but I can’t stop myself from thinking that’s exactly what happened.
Maybe it has something to do with all the internal musing I’ve been doing… Definitely didn’t spend as much time contemplating life’s mysteries when I was back home. The walking helped with that—giving me time to just be in my own head. Who knows if that’s a good or a bad thing. Sometimes I like what I discover, and other times I feel like a whack-job.
When my cell starts beeping, I roll over in bed and grab it off the nightstand. Maryanne flashes up on the screen. Part of me feels like it’s shitty to ignore her, but the other part doesn’t want that life to bleed into mine anymore. Plus, it feels wrong to talk to her because of Penny.
After hitting ignore, I toss the phone back onto the nightstand.
I wish it was always that easy—to hit ignore when a thought or craving slips into my mind. When L.A. Bishop tries to resurface and all I want to do is wipe him away and become Alaska Bishop for good. Even though the thought of rehab makes my skin crawl, that is why I have to do it.
I push out of bed and go take a piss before my memoir starts writing itself in my head: “If life was a cell phone—blending two versions of yourself” by Bishop Riley.
Yeah, Alaska is making me crazy.
But I like it.
After a quick shower, I get dressed, knowing my morning is going to be boring. Today’s the game and Penny’s out to breakfast with her team. Her mom’s home so I can’t risk her wrath by going over to see Gramps. Which helps, I guess. Not being able to see Gramps takes away my excuse not to go talk to Gary. After everything he’s done for me, he needs to know about rehab. He helped me get here.
I’m feeling a little antsy. Nothing bad, but a little bit of jitters. Reasons to go into my room, into my closet so I can find my suitcase, keep tugging at me. I’m proud to say looking at my case is all I’ve done. Before talking with Gramps yesterday, I checked for my pills every day. Recounted the twelve at least once to make sure they were still there.
Now, I haven’t touched it. Haven’t stuck my fingers in that tiny slit in the fabric to make sure Gramps didn’t accidentally leave one, to make sure there aren’t any old ones from before. Gramps wanted to take them, and I’m glad he did.
And honestly…it makes me a little proud.
I head over to my drums and grab the sticks. They’re about to slam down when I remember what Penny’s mom said—about how loud I am—and I toss them to the ground. My hands are itching to play, but I don’t want to give her another reason to hate me. The list is already too long.
I use my hands to drum on my knees instead, and it’s totally not the same thing. I think about going over and borrowing one of the snowmachines, but then remember Mama Bear is home and I can’t even do that.
I’m not sure any of it would chill me out today, though, because I know what’s coming. I’m telling Penny everything. Part of me wants to do it right now. I should have done it last night, but it wouldn’t be fair before the game. I’m already in douche-bag territory, and that would tip things toward unforgivable—if they’re not already there.
That’s when it hits me, and just thinking about it the tension starts to slip out of me. Walking. I need the cold and fresh air. To see how open that big world is and realize my problems aren’t the end of it. There’s something freeing about it, and right now, I just want to be free.
Not giving a crap that it’s early, I slip on my boots and coat before trudging my way over to Gary’s place. He can go with me and tell me stories and ask questions that I might feel okay about answering now. I’m finally doing something I can be proud of—telling Penny and going to rehab.
As soon as I hit the steps, I realize the door is partway open. Time to have some fun. Sneaking up on Gary and scaring him to death will definitely distract me for a few minutes.
I’m quiet as I finish walking toward the door. I’m about to sneak inside when I hear Penny’s mom inside.
“I need to know what you guys are doing here.” Her voice is as fierce as I’ve ever heard it. Right then, I know I’m fucked.
“With all due respect, ma’am, I’m not sure that’s your business. We haven’t caused any trouble. We’re paying guests, but I don’t think that entitles you information on our private affairs.”
I want to yell “Go Gary!” and “Shut the hell up! She already hates me!” at the same time.
“It’s my business when it involves my daughter. When I catch her slinking out of his cabin in the morning, with all due respect, that makes it my business.”
It hits me like a punch to the gut, because she’s right. Or maybe not her business, but Penny’s. Penny’s my girl, and she should know the big shit about me.
Gary speaks up again. “I understand your concern, but I trust him.”
Now it’s a knife, not just a punch. Gary trusts me when he doesn’t know half the truth. When he doesn’t know about Maryanne or the pills or any of it.
He keeps talking. “I’m not saying Bishop, or anyone for that matter, is perfect, but he cares about your daughter. He won’t hurt her.”
Her mom sighs. “I’ve seen it before—girls who throw their lives away for a boy. Penny is so much bigger than Seldon. She needs to get out of here. Go to college. Do you realize she’s getting scholarships from schools that have some of the best women’s hockey teams in America? I don’t want Bishop in her way. I can see it in his eyes. Something’s not right, and I’ll be damned before I let him drag her down.”
Drag her down… It’s not that I have anything to offer Penny. She’s right. Money doesn’t matter to a girl like Penny. She wants Alaska and hockey. Even when I do get clean, I’m one of the youngest drummers to ever win a Grammy. I’ve had way more success in two years than I ever imagined, but Penny is bigger than any of that will ever be. It’s not like I can expect her to give up hockey for me. I wouldn’t if I were her, but could I give up Burn? We couldn’t have a relationship if I’m traveling all the time.
Her mom is right. The thought of holding Penny back makes my gut churn.
Gary is quiet for a few seconds. “You know, people like you piss me off. He’s a fucking kid. He hasn’t had a lot in his life, but he tries. Tries a whole hell of a lot harder than a lot of people I know. I hate this judgmental bullshit. I don’t care what anyone says, I’m damn proud of that kid. He’s a good boy, who I know will grow up into a great man. Is he perfect? Nope, but at least he knows it. He doesn’t sit up on a pedestal and condemn everyone else.”
Twist, twist, twist. The knife just keeps getting pushed in deeper and deeper. I clutch my stomach so I don’t puke. Gary’s wrong about me. I’m none of the things he said. It doesn’t matter that I’ve booked a flight home, and that I’m planning to call my Mom to help me get into rehab. I’m a liar. He’s defending me without knowing about the pills and Maryanne.
“Is that why he snuck a blond girl in here? I can’t help but wonder if he started seeing my daughter before or after her.”
Ready. Aim. Fire.
I’m dead.
I should have been the one to tell Gary about Maryanne. He deserves that and a whole lot more for the faith he puts in me. After kissing Penny, I snuck Maryanne here. She has goals and a future. She needs someone a lot better than me.
Gary’s quiet.
“Did you know about the girl?”
More quiet.
Finally, he replies. “We’ll be out by tomorrow.”
There’s never been a time I hated myself more than I do right now.
As soon as Penny’s mom goes back to her house, I come out from my hiding spot. Everything inside me is yelling…screaming at me to run away, but I’m so fucking tired of being weak, so I climb the stairs to Gary’s cabin again and knock.
There’s no typical Gary smile on his face when he opens the door. No joking. No nothing. That’s not true. There’s disappointment, my legs buckle, threatening to collapse. Everything inside me aches. I want to run away. I’m scared as hell to do this, but I have to. I can’t keep running anymore. I head straight over to the couch and sit down. “I’m sorry.”
“Was it Maryanne?” His voice is tense.
“Yeah.”
“Did you get high with her, Bishop?”
“Yeah.”
“Shit,” he mumbles, and then, “I should have known this. It was my job to fucking know.” His guilt over my screw-up jams that knife in me again. “How many times?”
I hate this. I’m so tired of disappointing everyone. Of disappointing myself. “Only once with her. That’s the only time she’s been here. I snuck some pills with me here, though. Took them off and on. I’ve also had one beer. And Maryanne mailed me some pills, but they never came. She also left some when she bailed, but I didn’t take them. Wanted to a million times, but I didn’t. I started to realize—not that it matters.”
“Where are they?” he grits out, pacing the living room.
“Gone. Gramps took them—I told him about everything yesterday and he said he’d take care of them for me.” It’s so crazy spilling it out for him like this. It hurts. It sucks. I hate this person that I am, but it also makes the tightness in my chest loosen just a little.
Those words soften his stance a little bit. Gary sighs again before sitting on the coffee table in front of me. “How did I let this happen? I’ve done this before with Troy. I’ve been trained to do this. I should have known… I had faith in you, Bishop.”
His guilt makes me feel worse. “Fuck, I know.” Here comes the shaking. I run my hands through my hair hoping it will stop. “I know, and I hate that. Hate it all. It’s so screwed-up, but I swear, I’m done, Gary. I don’t want to touch anything anymore, and I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t matter, but I am. I’m coming clean to Penny after the game and then…I was going to talk to you. I want to go home and, you know.” I shrug. “And go to rehab.”
Gary looks me over. “Funny how you’ve decided to go to rehab all of a sudden. It doesn’t work that way. You can’t just throw words out there because you got caught. It has to come from in here.” He touches his chest.
Fear climbs up my spine. “It does. I’m not lying. I’m so fucking tired of lying. You can talk to Gramps. I told him everything yesterday. I made the decision about rehab and telling everyone the truth before you found out. I just hadn’t told you yet.”
He just stares at me, and I never realized how much I need Gary. How weak I was before he started helping me. He dropped his life for me, and he trusted me. He’s walked with me and talked with me and, hell, he’s my friend. I could have pushed him too far to go back, and that thought makes the words start rushing out of my mouth again. “It’s not your fault. I swear I’ll do better. Don’t turn your back on me…” Please, don’t turn your back on me.
He sighs. “You’ve really been thinking about his before now, Bishop? You talked to Gramps and this isn’t you grasping at straws here?”
“I swear.” I stare at the ground. “I know my word doesn’t mean much right now, but I’m telling you the truth. I…I need you.”
“And I’ll be here. You can’t get rid of me that easy. I’m not going anywhere.”
My head jerks up, and I look at him. He’s staying? “Really? You really won’t bail?”
“But I won’t be as easy on you. You’ve lost my trust. You’re going to have to earn it back, and I’m not letting this rehab thing go by the wayside. You want my help, then it’s happening.”
The urge to hug him hits me. “Thank you. I will. I’ll do whatever it takes. I just need to see Penny’s game and tell her where I’m going, then we can go.”
Gary reaches over and grabs my shoulder. “I told you, we’d take care of this together, and we will. I’m not bailing on you. Never.”
It’s like each of Gary’s words start to pull the knife free. He’s not bailing. I can still do this. “Thank you. You won’t regret it.”
