Текст книги "Lost and Found"

Автор книги: Nicole Williams

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Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

Jesse had been right. I did almost pass out into the pancake batter the next morning. Although it was huckleberry, not blueberry.

We did go to sleep. Eventually. But an hour of sleep didn’t really cut it. I was waiting for the coffee to brew and almost counting the minutes until I could be with Jesse again.

It would be one long-ass day.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Rose came up beside me holding a bowl and beating the eggs inside it with a wire whisk.

I didn’t care if she offered me a million dollars for my thoughts. I would not admit having dirty thoughts to the mother of the boy I was having them about.

“It’s too early for thoughts,” I said, flipping a few pancakes. After my first pancake catastrophe, I hadn’t burned another batch.

Knock on wood.

Or . . . ehem . . .

Shoot. I was blushing in front of Rose.

“Did you enjoy the dance last night?” she asked.

Focus on the pancakes and try not to sound like an imbecile. “I enjoyed myself.” Especially the after party.

“I’m glad, sweetie,” she said, heading back over to the stove with her whipped eggs. “We all work so hard around here, it’s nice to let your hair down and have a good time.”

Mission accomplished, then.

I was about to check the pancakes when the back door swung open and a string of cowboys wandered in. They were all a little bleary-eyed, but one was especially so. Tired as he looked, Jesse had an I-just-got-laid grin on his face.

He hung his hat up and headed my way, making no qualms about it.

I’m pretty sure I flushed again as a few of the high, high points of last night ran through my mind. Our second time, I’d introduced Jesse to the cowgirl position—I thought he could especially appreciate it—and we’d taken our time. Well, we’d taken a bit more time. Not much.

“Good morning,” I said with a bit of inflection as he stopped in front of me. He was close, a little too close for being in a kitchen of people who thought we were just friends.

Jesse snatched an apple from the copper bowl on the counter. “Why, yes. Yes, it is,” he said, crunching into the apple. He managed to keep that grin on his face the whole time.

“How did you sleep?” I teased, smiling into the griddle.

He leaned in closer and whispered, “I didn’t.”

A shiver ran down my spine in the middle of a hot kitchen on a summer morning. The man had the art of inflection down.

“How do you feel this morning?” I asked, trying to sound like we were having the most ordinary of conversations.

He sunk his teeth into the apple again, his eyes gleaming. “Like I lost something,” he said before chewing the chunk of apple in his mouth.

I snickered quietly.

“Oh, no, hun,” Rose said, appearing out of nowhere. “What did you lose?”

Jesse’s mouth stopped crunching as he did that whole deer-in-the-headlights thing again. He’d done a lot of that in the past twenty-four hours. “Uhhh . . . I don’t know . . . what I lost?” He glanced at me like he was looking for some help.

I was still too frozen to talk.

Rose gave him an amused face. “Then what were you just saying you lost?”

Jesse gulped down what was left of the apple in his mouth. “I don’t know. I won’t remember what I lost until I find it.”

I joined Rose in giving him an amused look. She lifted her hand to his forehead and ran it over his face. “Are you coming down with something, Jesse?”

“Nope,” he said, sliding me a quick look. “I’ve never felt better. But I want to tell you and Dad something.”

My mouth dropped open. He wouldn’t do that yet. When he said he’d tell his parents, I thought I’d at least have a few days to get used to the idea. Apparently not. I mouthed What? at him.

His response? A wink and an I’ve got this mouthed back.

“Well?” Neil said, coming up behind Rose and resting his hands on her shoulders. “Tell away.”

I was wincing before Jesse said one word.

“Rowen and I are dating,” he said, all matter-of-fact. “We’re together. We like each other. She rocks my world. I rock hers.” He shot me a sideways look and tried to keep his smile contained.

My mouth fell open a bit more.

Jesse lifted a shoulder. “We just wanted you both to know so it didn’t seem like we were sneaking around behind your backs.”

If climbing up a chimney to get to his room so I could seduce their virginal son wasn’t considered “sneaking,” perhaps I needed to look that one up in the dictionary again.

Jesse wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. He’d said it, so he was showing it.

Ground? Please open up and shallow me right now.

I chanced a look at Rose and Neil, certain they’d scowl at me like I was the wolf they’d let into their precious little flock of sheep. Instead, I found the opposite. Neil had a small smile on his face, and Rose’s smile was tipped a little higher on one side.

“We appreciate you telling us, Jesse.” Rose patted her son’s cheek. “We kind of figured that out on our own.” Neil and she exchanged a look. “But it was nice of you two to finally figure it out, too.”

My mouth could only drop open. It certainly wasn’t up to forming actual words.

“Yeah, well, Rowen kind of made me work hard for it,” Jesse said, back to working on his apple. Neil just shook his head and smiled his way over to the table.

Rose glanced purposefully at me, standing beside Jesse, protected under his arm, and she winked. “As she should have.” Then, like nothing especially profound had just been announced, Rose headed back to the stove and her eggs.

“See?” he said, kissing the top of my head. “Easy as that.”

I rolled my eyes and smacked his butt as he wandered toward the table. A few of the guys who’d noticed gave him a thumbs up or lifted their cups of coffee my way. The embarrassment wouldn’t end that morning.

“Yeah, that was the epitome of smooth,” I said after him.

He spun around, his dimples on full display, and lifted his hands at his sides. “It was as smooth as I’m capable of,” he said before sniffing the air. My shoulders went rigid before the next words came from his mouth. “The pancakes are burning.”

My days at Willow Springs were spent working, and my nights were spent with Jesse in some room, or field, or barn, or . . . whatever we could find. The summer flew by. July was ending before I knew the month had begun.

It had been the best month of my life.

That was no exaggeration, no form of the melodrama Jesse still liked to say I was partial to. It was the truth. I had found an adoptive family by most definitions of the word; I was in love with the kind of man who seemed too good to be true; I had found a handful of girlfriends with the Walker sisters and Josie; I’d managed to steer clear of Garth and he of me; and mom had thankfully delayed her grand scheme of flying herself and her new boyfriend out for a little get-together. My dreams, for the first time in years, were back to color. I’d even squeezed in enough drawing time to fill an entire sketchbook.

If months got better than that July did, I couldn’t imagine it.

Plus, other than one night when Jesse had to camp out with the herd because one of the calves had gotten sick, we’d spent every night together. Some nights we did nothing more than talk until we fell asleep. Most nights we talked, then made love until we fell asleep. For being a virgin a month before, Jesse had meant it when he said he was committed to fine-tuning his sex skills. I’d be under-exaggerating if I said Jesse had mad skills in that department.

Neil and Rose might have given us the thumbs up in the dating department, but even Jesse hadn’t worked up the courage to tell them about us sleeping together every night. Thanks to a lock on my door and the unspoken rule that no one ever went into his attic room, no one had walked in on us unexpectedly.

I didn’t like omitting the truth with Neil and Rose, but I left that to Jesse. He knew his parents better than I did, and if he thought keeping our sleeping arrangements to ourselves for the time being was best, I was good with that.

After he’d described his parents as old-fashioned modernists, I couldn’t look at Rose and Neil the same way. Jesse said they might realize we were sleeping together and they would support us because we were both consenting adults, but they didn’t want to know it was happening a room or two above their bedrooms.

So July was legendary. The best on record.

And then August 1st rolled around.

I was busy in the garden picking early tomatoes when Rose came up to me with a stoic expression. Rose didn’t do stoic, so my heart was already thumping before she’d said a word. My mom had called her, probably because I’d been ignoring her calls all summer, to tell Rose that she and boy-toy had a rare three-day-weekend coming up and would fly in that Friday night.

She didn’t ask. Didn’t wait for Rose to run it by me. She dictated. She steam-rolled. Like she’d been doing all eighteen years of my life.

From Rose’s expression, I’d thought she’d come bearing the news of a loved one’s death, so I was relieved for all of one second when I realized no one had died. My mom was just coming to dinner with her boyfriend. My moment of relief shifted to panic.

I knew it was silly, but Willow Springs felt like my something special. It was my world free of her and her toxicity. I didn’t want to ruin things.

My mom wasn’t the issue as much as the storm we created when we were together. We might have both been a bit unstable on our own, but together? Things got downright volatile. I didn’t want Neil and Rose to witness that. I didn’t want Jesse to witness that.

I didn’t want to experience that either. Not anymore.

The summer had given me a new perspective. The lenses I’d been viewing life through for so long had been exchanged for a different set. A new lens that showed people as basically good and life as pretty damn great when I opened myself up to it.

I’d changed. Not entirely, but enough. A lot.

From Rose’s description of Mom’s call, I knew she hadn’t changed. So I had and she hadn’t. Would our relationship change? That was the question I couldn’t answer and one I really didn’t want to get to the bottom of over a steak dinner with the Walkers.

Too bad it was six o’clock on Friday night, minutes away from when Mom and Mr. Boyfriend would be pulling up. It was too late to call a time-out and cordon Mom and I off on our own little island so we could work out some serious shit I wasn’t sure could be worked out.

Jesse snuck up behind me where I fretted over the fruit salad. “For the millionth time, relax.” His hands lifted to my shoulders and his fingers pinched and rolled the muscles running down my neck and shoulders.

“For the millionth time,” I replied, closing my eyes. Jesse’s hands could work magic of all different kinds. “It’s easy for you to say, but you’ve never met my mom. I don’t think I’ve ever been relaxed around her.”

“Yeah, but are you relaxed around me?”

I gave up trying to layer the blueberries on top of the kiwi just right, dropped my head, and let Jesse’s fingers work. “Sometimes.” I pressed back into him to further explain.

He chuckled. “Right now are you relaxed around me?”

It was impossible not to be when he was massaging my neck. “Yes.”

“Good news then, Rowen. I’m going to be with you all night. I won’t leave your side, so anytime your mom starts making you feel all panicky, just take a hit of my ultra-relaxing aura.”

I smiled. “Ultra-relaxing aura, eh? And here I thought my boyfriend was a cowboy, not a hippie.”

“Cowboy’s in my blood, but my heart’s all hippie.” He kissed the back of my neck, right at my hairline, and wrapped his arms around me. “I love you. I’m here for you tonight. We’re all here for you tonight. Everything will be all right. And if it isn’t, I’ll fix it. Okay?”

I nodded and tilted my head toward his. “Okay.”

“Whatever happens tonight, it won’t change us, Rowen. It won’t change the way I feel about you.” He planted a soft kiss on my mouth. I was already more relaxed. Then he moved in for another one; that one wasn’t as soft or short.

What had I just been worried about?

“All right, you two. Rowen’s mom will be here any second, and I don’t want her to walk into the place and see you two lip-locked.” Rose grabbed the fruit bowl and attempted to give us both a maternal warning look. It didn’t really work because she capped her warning with a smile. “Let’s give her a few minutes before we tell her about you two. I don’t want her thinking the only thing you’ve been doing all summer is my son.”

Jesse coughed. My eyes bugged out.

Rose inspected our reaction for one moment before it clicked. She flushed and suddenly couldn’t make eye contact with either of us. “That came out wrong. All wrong.”

“You think, Mom?” Jesse teased, his voice a couple notes high.

She swatted his arm affectionately as she headed for the table. “You know what I meant.”

“I know what you meant, but you might not want to repeat those exact words when Rowen mom’s here,” Jesse said. “You know. In case she takes it the wrong way.”

“Since you’re so eager to hang out in the kitchen, why don’t you go mash those potatoes?” Rose settled the fruit salad on the table, then stood back to inspect the table. She’d really gone all out.

She’d cut a few mini-bouquets of flowers from her garden and arranged them in mason jars. She’d set out the country rose china set passed down from her mom and she had polished up the silverware set, too. We’d spent a good half of the day making dinner. After making a dinner of cold meatloaf sandwiches and potato salad for the guys and dropping it off at the bunkhouse, we’d slaved away making pie pastry, picking green beans, and peeling, coring, and slicing apples. The menu was simple country fare, but it had been created in the Walker kitchen, so it would be delicious, too.

“I love this new dress,” Jesse said, running his eyes down my body as he wandered over to the pot of potatoes. “Like really love it.” The inflection in his voice almost made me shiver in anticipation. How many hours until bedtime?

“I might have had a little help picking it out.” I shot him a smile as I went to the fridge to pull out some milk and butter. “I love that shirt of yours, too. Like really love it.”

Jesse lifted his arms and did a spin. “I might have had a little help picking it out.”

We’d gone into “town” shopping yesterday, and instead of picking out our own outfits, we decided to pick out each other’s. Since Jesse lived in his white tees, I found a plaid button-down shirt with those pearly looking snaps. I got it one size smaller than he typically wore for the added eye candy. I didn’t bother with picking out pants because Jesse’s everyday jeans could not be improved upon. That was a fact of life I’d come to accept. Add his boots, straw hat, and belt, and BOOM! He was every girl’s dream.

Once I’d grabbed the butter and milk, I headed over to where he was mashing away.

While I poured in the milk and dropped the stick of butter into the pot, he said, “No offense, Rowen, because this is one nice shirt, but I win in the picking clothes out for each other department. That dress is . . .” When Jesse’s eyes traveled back to me, his mashing came to a stop. The corners of his mouth lifted as he skimmed my body. “Well, that dress is something else. Something. Else.”

I glanced over at Rose before sneaking a quick kiss on his cheek. “You really do know how to pick out a dress. But don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.”

“Thanks.” He laughed as he got back to mashing. “My reputation as the strapping, manly cowboy that I am would be forever tarnished.”

Jesse’s selection had surprised me. Although maybe it shouldn’t have. Instead of wandering the racks of one of the clothing stores specializing in western wear, Jesse had wandered into a funky consignment store. He claimed he got a contact high after being in there for only a half hour. He sifted through every last rack in the place before he found my dress. The dress.

It was a burgundy, no-frills dress that didn’t scream Look at me! Look at me! It was eery how Jesse had managed to find quite possibly the only dress in the history of dresses to blend both that punk, dark style I’d shown up in Willows Springs wearing with country flair. The dress was a little bipolar in the style department, but it worked.

I was pulling the salt down from the spice cabinet when the doorbell rang. I froze.

“They’re here!” Clementine announced from the living room.

Rose pulled her apron off. “Ready?” she asked, wrapping her arm around me like she knew I needed the support.

Would it matter if I answered honestly? I just nodded my head.

Jesse grabbed a towel to wipe his hands, but Rose put the masher he’d abandoned back in his hands. “Get those potatoes on the table,” she said. “Rowen and I can manage to open the door and escort a couple of guests inside the house by ourselves, I think.”

Without another word, Rose pulled me along.

Jesse’s eyebrows came together.

I’m okay, I mouthed. Really, I added when he didn’t look convinced.

He nodded once, then started mashing like a maniac.

From the sounds coming from the foyer, Clementine was struggling to get the door opened. Lily and Hyacinth rushed down the stairs, smoothing their hair and adjusting their shirts. Neil was just finishing up in the barn, and Rose had warned him if he wasn’t washed, presentable, and at the table by the time we sat down for dinner, he would sleep in the barn until winter.

Rose was one of the sweetest people out there, but I’d learned no one wanted to mess with her. The ranch hands listened to her better than they did Neil most of the time.

As we approached the door, I already felt Mom. I started worrying my eyebrow ring as I felt my steel gates and concrete walls begging to be raised. I felt my arms wanting to cross and my scowl wanting to form. I felt the little girl inside of me searching for the closest hiding spot.

Rose’s arm tightened around me, and then Lily moved up beside me. She gave me a reassuring smile and, just like that, I was back at Willow Springs. Safe. Loved. Trusted.

The doorbell went off again. I heard my mom’s drawn out sigh from the other side of the door.

Rose reached for the handle and pulled the door open.

There she was. Not a platinum strand of hair out of place. Not an article of clothing or accessory that wasn’t designer. Not a hint of a smile.

“Kate,” Rose greeted, opening her arms. “It’s been too darn long, and you look too darn good after twenty years.” When Rose’s arms wrapped around her, Mom went stiff as a board and her expression twisted as though the hug was almost painful.

After a moment, Mom forced something meant to be a smile and patted Rose’s back. “It’s amazing what a good surgeon and money can do these days to erase a couple of decades,” she said, practically breaking out of Rose’s hug.

“Well, the only good surgeons we have in these parts are the ones that work on animals,” Rose chuckled. “My beauty routine consists of a multi-vitamin and avoiding mirrors under overhead lighting.”

Mom inspected Rose with that fake smile I’d grown up with. When her eyes trailed down to Rose’s boots, I could tell it took everything inside of Mom to keep from cringing. For the millionth time that summer, I wondered what had brought those totally opposite people together in the first place. Or what had kept them connected, loosely as it might have been, for all of those years.

“And who are these lovely ladies?” Mom asked, moving on to the girls staggered around the door, after giving me a quick nod of acknowledgement.

“This is Lily, Hyacinth,” Rose motioned at each girl, “and the little one here is Clementine. Jesse’s in the kitchen finishing dinner, so you can meet him in a couple minutes.”

Mom nodded her acknowledgement at each girl, keeping the plastered-on smile in place as she inspected them like they were last season’s handbag.

Since she obviously wouldn’t make the first move, I beat down the urge to cross my arms and said, “Hey, Mom.”

“Rowen,” she said, the fake smile going faker. “I barely recognized you. It’s been so long since it hasn’t been dyed black, I’d forgotten what color your hair was.” Yeah, I’m sure forgetting the color of her only child’s hair was easy. “And, my oh my,”—her eyes skimmed down my dress to the boots Jesse had gotten me—“how lovely to see you in non-freak wear for once.” One wall went up before I knew it. “I don’t know how you managed it, Rose, but I owe you for showing my daughter the error of her fashion ways.”

Rose took a step back and hung her arm around my waist again. The small comfort in that brought me close to crying with relief. “I love Rowen’s sense of style. If I was younger and braver, I might sneak a couple things out of her dresser when she wasn’t looking.” Rose grinned over at me. “However, it’s better to keep as much skin covered by no-fuss clothing when you’re working on a ranch with a bunch of single men.”

Mom gave that shrill, choppy laugh of hers. “When Rowen’s concerned, it isn’t her virtue you need to worry about.”

Another wall went up and my arms crossed. I’d felt so strong, so sure of myself, just moments before she’d whisked through that door. She had me almost reverted back to that scared and confused girl I’d been weeks earlier.

Someone slid up beside me, grabbed my hand, and angled himself ever so slightly in front of me. “That’s a joke, right?” Jesse asked, making his greeting.

Mom’s eyes darted his way, and if a woman like her could get stars in her eyes, she got them. Her gaze drifted down his body in a way that made me feel territorial and icky all at once. “You can take it however you want.” She flashed her charming smile—which was also fake—and lifted her eyebrows.

Since Jesse didn’t look in the mood to make introductions, Rose stepped in. “Kate, this is my son Jesse.”

“Wonderful to meet you, Jesse.” Hearing her say his name made my stomach turn. Or was it the tone in which she said his name? Or was it the way her eyes dropped when she was done?

When she noticed my hand clasped in Jesse’s, Mom’s approving expression morphed into shock. “Oh, dear God. Rose, I am so sorry. If I had known Rowen would go after your boy, I would have never sent her here this summer.” Mom’s hand went to her chest and she shook her head. “I would have hoped she’d show better restraint when it came to hooking up with the son of one of my oldest and dearest friends.”

I didn’t need to hear anyone else talk about why I was all wrong for Jesse. I did enough of that on my own.

“Rowen didn’t pursue me,” Jesse said, his whole back going rigid. “I pursued her. And we are not ‘hooking up.’ We’re in love.”

“Oh, dear God,” Mom said again, practically cringing. “I am so, so sorry, Rose.”

Yeah, because a guy admitting he loved me was so much worse than one admitting he was just screwing me.

“What for?” Rose asked, resting a hand on Jesse’s arm. It was a gesture of comfort and stand down, I’ve got this. “She challenges him. He challenges her. They love each other. As far as young relationships go, we couldn’t be happier Jesse’s with a girl like Rowen.”

I doubted Mom would look so flabbergasted if she woke up the next day to find zombies stumbling down her driveway. “You’re all right with this?”

“Yes,” Rose replied. “These two have some good kismet. Don’t you think, Kate?”

“They’ve got . . . something,” Mom said, pursing her lips when she rechecked our connected hands.

“Where’s your plus one?” Rose asked, shifting the conversation.

“He’s still in the car on a business call,” Mom replied, rolling her eyes. “Can you believe that when we checked in at the rental center, they didn’t have a luxury option? The best they had was a mid-sized Dodge. I haven’t been in a mid-sized anything since I was in college.” Mom stepped inside and closed the door. Apparently “plus one” would be a while. “I don’t know how you do it out here in the sticks, Rose. I don’t think I could make it a day.”

“I don’t either,” I muttered as we filed into the kitchen.

“I heard that, Rowen,” she said over her shoulder. “Try to do something out-of-character and behave yourself tonight.”

So my answer to my question? It didn’t matter that I’d changed. She hadn’t. Our relationship hadn’t either.

“Out of respect for you, I’m going to try really hard to respect your mom,” Jesse whispered over to me, keeping my hand in his. “But if she keeps saying stuff like that, I’m not going to stay quiet.”

“Jesse—”

“No,” he interrupted, “I don’t care about her. I care about you. Because she’s your mom, I will try to tolerate her, but I won’t let her say those things to a person I love.”

His words, his touch, his presence . . . all of it helped relax me some.

“Where were you five years ago?” I said.

“Right here,” he answered, squeezing my hand. “I was right here.”

A bit more of that relaxation thing trickled into my veins. I could handle one dinner.

“Dinner smells amazing, Rose,” Mom announced as we entered the kitchen.

“Thank you. Rowen spent most of the day working on it,” Rose replied.

Mom chuckled and patted Rose’s back on her way to the table. “Getting in the way doesn’t count.”

Jesse was just opening his mouth and I was just getting ready to clamp my hand over it when Neil came through the back door.

“Washed up, cleaned up, and here a minute early,” he announced, plunking his hat on one of the pegs. “No barn detention for me.”

“Well if that isn’t the bastard who moved my best friend out to the middle of nowhere.”

Neil smiled his own version of her fake one. “So happy you were able to join us out here in the middle of nowhere, Kate.”

I caught Rose giving him a Watch it, buddy face.

“After all you and Rose have done for Rowen this summer? Of course I had to pay you all a visit,” Mom replied, sliding into a chair. “Rose swears up and down Rowen’s been a huge help around here, so I had to come see it with my own eyes.”

Neil took his time approaching the table, like he was putting it off for as long as he could. “I’m sorry to say it, but most of my hands don’t work as hard as Rowen does. We’ve been lucky to have her.”

The three girls sat on the opposite end of the table from my mom. Lily and Hyacinth just tried not to make eye contact with the swearing, blunt woman, but Clementine stared at her like Mom was a train wreck she couldn’t look away from.

Jesse led me to the seat next to Lily and he took the one across from my mom. Mom gave Jesse a once over that made me blush from embarrassment and from anger.

My eyes shifted to my perfectly imperfect fruit salad. “Oops,” I said, getting out of my chair. “I forgot the whipped cream.”

I had just pulled the bowl of whipped cream I’d whipped my tail off making earlier out of the fridge when I heard heavy footsteps lumbering into the kitchen. Nice of the boy-toy to make it in time for dinner. As soon as I glanced at Mom’s plus one, I froze. When his eyes slid my way and his mouth turned up into a familiar smile, the bowl slipped from my fingers.

Glass and whipped cream exploded at my feet, but that wasn’t enough to break my frozen stare. Only when Jesse rushed over and blocked my view of the guy still smiling at me could I move and breathe again. Rose tossed Jesse a handful of paper towels.

“I’m so sorry,” I said, inspecting the damage at my feet.

“Don’t worry about it,” Rose said. “Homemade whipped cream is my weak spot. My hips are thanking you right now, Rowen.”

I kneeled down beside Jesse. He was busy collecting the glass shards.

“What’s the matter?” he whispered, concerned.

What should I tell him? Should I tell him anything at all?

“I’m fine,” I went with, mopping up the whipped cream with the towels.

“Rowen—”

“Here’s a paper bag you can toss the glass and dirty towels into,” Rose said, kneeling down beside us.

With Rose in earshot, it was decided. I couldn’t say anything to Jesse.

Once we’d cleaned up the spill, Jesse picked up the bag and took it over to the garbage.

My mom had watched us clean up with a frown on her face. “Just let me know how much Rowen’s damaged this summer, and I’ll write you a check.”

“Other than a couple batches of burnt pancakes, that’s the only thing Rowen’s broken the whole time.” Neil grinned at me as I made my way back to the table. I avoided eye contact with mom’s boyfriend as he introduced himself to Rose and Neil.

I slid into my seat and hunkered down. I even closed my eyes for a few seconds, sure I would open them to discover I’d just been seeing things.

When I finally did open them to find the same man who’d just walked in sitting in the chair across from me, I knew it hadn’t been a hallucination.

“Hello there, Rowen,” the man said, unfolding his napkin and dropping it into his lap. “It sure is wonderful to see you again after all of these years.”

My hands trembled in my lap, and the only emotion I felt was helplessness.

“It’s nice to have you back after all of these years,” Mom said to him, leaning over and giving him a full on-the-lips kiss.

Neil cleared his throat. I wasn’t sure if he could tell I was uncomfortable or if a couple of adults practically making out at his dinner table made him uncomfortable, but at least it made them come up for air.

Jesse was washing his hands at the sink, and I had the worst urge to get up and go to him. To have him wrap me in his arms like he did so well and shelter me.

“Oh, so you all already know each other?” Rose came back to the table with a basket of rolls.

“We’ve got quite a bit of history,” he said. “Rowen, I must say you’ve turned into quite the young woman. When was the last time I saw you?” I couldn’t take the way he leered at me. I couldn’t take the way he smiled at me. I couldn’t take the way Mom gazed at him like he was something to be celebrated. “Thirteen, wasn’t it?” My legs trembled, too, as the string of memories played through my head. “I hope you can support your mom and me this time and not try to come between us.” His eyes changed then. They went dark. Dark like that day in my bedroom when he’d cornered the scared girl I was again. “I’m really hoping we’ll be able to pick up where we left off, Rowen. You and I always had a special kind of relationship.” He winked at me.

I was out of my chair before I knew I would run. In fact, I shoved back so hard in it, the chair toppled to the floor.