Текст книги "Taking Chances"

Автор книги: Molly McAdams

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Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 27 страниц)

If I had to guess, she was still in her twenties and was painfully beautiful. She looked like a tatted up pin-up girl, and even if she hadn't been touching Chase, she would make me uneasy. I was pulling back from hugging Jeff when I heard a loud voice bellow from the back room.

“Do I see my baby mama?!”

Chase and I laughed as I accepted a big hug and kiss on the cheek from Brian.

“Where have you been? You're keeping my son away from me now?”

I patted my stomach and grinned, “Never, why else would we be here?”

“Sup little BJ” Brian rubbed my stomach and mock-punched Chase in the arm.

“Uh…BJ?” I questioned, eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, Brian Jr., that's what we're naming him.”

Chase, Jeff and I burst into laughter, “Did you already ask Marissa? I'm pretty sure she doesn't need another Brian to take care of.” Chase joked and pulled my back against his chest so he could wrap his arms around me and kiss my neck.

Take that Pin-up Barbie.

The four of us talked for a few minutes until Brian and Chase got customers, I turned to see Trish still hadn't moved from her spot on Chase's counter.

I had to leave anyway so I walked up and tried to make nice. “Well it was nice meeting you, I'm sure I'll see you around.” I offered my hand and once again, she didn't take it.

“I'll make sure to take care of your boyfriend for you when you're not around.” She straightened and her smile became genuine, “Hey buddy, great girl you've got here!”

“Yeah, isn't she? You gonna stay and watch babe?”

I clenched my teeth and turned to look at Chase. “No. I need to go meet Bree, I'll see you at home.”

“Alright, let me walk you out.” His customer was still looking at a book, so he wrapped an arm around me and led me outside. “Thanks for coming, they've all missed you.”

I nodded and grabbed for my keys.

“You okay?”

“Not really. No.” I took a deep breath in and out, “I don't like Trish.”

I've never once told Chase or Brandon I didn't like a girl they were friends with. Sure I'd gotten jealous when girls would hang off Brandon, but I'd usually just cut in and stop it. The pictures from Amanda had been a whole other story, but with both guys, I wasn't one of those girlfriends who told them I didn't want them hanging out with certain girls, because I knew I wouldn't listen to them if they told me not to hang out with certain guys. Carter being a prime example. It was pointless to be like that, and it made you look insecure. But I could not stand the woman in there.

“What? Trish is awesome, why don't you like her?”

“It might have been the fact that she refused to return my greeting, or that she let me know she was going to “take care” of you while I'm not around.”

Chase laughed and pulled me in close, “Aw, Princess, she's just joking with you. You don't have anything to worry about, she's gay.”

“I promise you, she isn't.”

“Yeah she is, she told me yesterday.”

“Okay Chase.” I shook my head and hugged him back. He was really going to fall for that? I knew flirting when I saw it, and I knew exactly what she meant with her little comment. If he wanted to believe she was gay, then by all means. “I really do have to go, I love you. See you when you get home.”

He kissed me softly, pulling away far enough to look at my eyes, “Cheer up baby, I love you too.”

I grumbled to myself the entire way to meet up with Bree, and after giving her a play by play of what had just gone down, she called the pin-up girl a bitch and said we'd have to go check her out on another night to see if she'd do that again. I smiled widely at my best friend. She always had my back. I was trying to stop choking on my tea and laughing from Bree’s ridiculous scenarios of beating up Trish when Derek, Zach and Brandon walked in to the café.

They ordered their food and caught sight of us while they were waiting and came over to say hello. Zach and Derek hugged both of us, but Brandon just stood there never saying a word. He wasn’t coming across as rude, all you had to do was take one look at his face and you understood why he wasn’t adding to the conversation. His hazel eyes were full of so much pain and longing, I couldn’t stop looking at them. It was like a train wreck you didn’t want to see, but couldn’t take your eyes off of. He opened his mouth, but quickly shut it and walked over to the to-go counter to grab the food and leave. Derek gave me a sad smile and kissed the top of my head before towing Zach outside.

“You still love him.” Bree stated when they were gone.

I looked at her, afraid she was going to get mad at me, but she reached across the small table and grabbed my hand.

“It’s okay Harper, no one expected you to fall out of love with him. It’s a difficult situation.”

“I hate what I’ve done Bree.”

She nodded and squeezed my hand, “Do you still love him as much as you did before you broke up?”

I could have easily lied to her, but she would know, and she didn’t deserve to be lied to anymore by me, “More. So much more.”

“You love Chase too, right?” When I nodded she leaned forward to add, “And are you happy with him?”

“I am Bree. I don’t know how to explain how conflicted my emotions are.”

“You don’t have to friend. I think I’m starting to understand it, and I’m sorry you’re going through this. This is one big cluster-fuck you’ve created, but you’re dealing with it the best you can.” I opened my mouth but she stopped me, “I know you love Chase and I know you’re not using him. I didn’t have to ask that to be sure, I was just trying to see your reaction to each one. I know you’ll be happy with my brother, and you’ll love him better than anyone ever could. But I understand that you’ll never get over Brandon, we all do…Chase included. People fall in and out of love all the time, and sometimes people have numerous loves throughout their lives. But you have two epic loves and no matter who you were with, I don’t think you’d ever get over or forget the other.”

“Do you think I’m a horrible person?” Because I sure as hell feel like one.

“Not at all. And you shouldn’t either.” She raised a perfectly shaped brow at me. She knew me so well.

***

The next night we were sitting around the kitchen table, picking at fruit and listening to Bree recap on a story of some crazy person she'd run into downtown while she was with Konrad. Chase laughed out loud and asked Bree if she'd given the dancing homeless person money when I felt something weird. My entire body froze and I glanced down to my stomach.

“Are you kidding? Of course we did! That lady was hilarious, there was no way we weren't giving her money.” Bree got out of her chair and tried to recreate the dance for us.

Chase laughed and again that weird feeling happened. I froze again, and glanced down before taking quick glances at everyone else. I don't know why I'd think they would be aware of whatever was going on inside me, but no one was looking my way. I was staring at my rounding stomach and only partially paying attention to what Robert was saying. As soon as Chase started talking, there were two somethings and I gasped, reaching out for Chase.

“You okay?” They all said at once.

“Say something Chase.” I whispered, eyes still glued to my shirt.

He leaned close, trying to look at my face, “Sweetie, what's wrong?”

I sucked in a deep breath and started laughing, “He's kicking! He's kicking whenever you talk!”

Chase fell out of his chair and to his knees, his hands covering my stomach. He leaned close to my belly and started talking slowly to him. I felt another kick just as Chase's head shot back, his eyes wide, “Oh my God!” His face instantly went back to my stomach and he continued to talk and laugh whenever he felt the nudge.

Everyone took their turns with their hands on my stomach, and by the time Chase went back to having his hands on me, there was only one more kick. “I think he rolled over.” I don't know why I was whispering, but Chase had been the only one talking, and his voice had been so low it felt weird to break that silence. “That was incredible!” I laughed as Chase stood up to kiss me long and slow.

“My thoughts exactly.” He whispered and went back to kissing me.

When we told Dr. Lowdry about that the next morning, she raised her eyebrow. “Wait, you're saying everyone else felt it too?”

“Yes.” We said together, still smiling.

“I'm sorry, I guess I just hadn't realized that at first. Harper, normally moms feel the baby move around fifteen weeks, but for first time mothers it's normal not to feel anything until you're twenty weeks. Which is how far along you are, correct?” I nodded and she continued, “So you're right on track with that, but normally no one else can feel it for another two and a half weeks, at the earliest.”

“Huh.” I glanced to Chase, then back to her, “Is that a bad thing?”

“No, no. Definitely not bad, it's just a little early is all. Let's have an ultrasound and get the measurements.” When we were in the room she took the measurements, then took them again, “Your baby is about nineteen centimeters, well closer to twenty.”

“Okay?” I had no idea if that was normal or not.

“Usually he would only be around eighteen right now, so it looks like he's developing pretty quickly. Almost two weeks ahead of where he should be.” Dr. Lowdry went to her computer and checked some things, “He was right where he should have been at your last visit.” She said mostly to herself.

“I'm not trying to be rude,” Chase was gripping my hand, “but you're kind of scaring me. Is it a bad thing that he's developing quicker than most babies?”

“No, I don't want you to think that. He's perfectly healthy, all this means is there's a possibility that Harper won't make it to her due date. I'm not worried about her delivering too early, but we'll just continue to monitor his growth. At most, I'll have to put her on bedrest in a couple months or she'll go into labor a few weeks early, which also wouldn't be bad, as long as he's fully developed. At least, she'll make it to her due date and have a big baby. Either way, there's nothing to be worried about.”

We both breathed sighs of relief, thanked her and took our new pictures back to Mom and Dad's. We looked at the baby names book for a little bit, but decided to close it. We still had ten names that we liked, but Chase said he wanted to wait until he was born to decide on the names. I watched a movie in his arms until Chase had to go into the shop, so I left to go pick up dinner for everyone. Chase wasn't expected home until two or so in the morning, so after dinner I hung out with Bree, Mom and Dad for a while and fell asleep well before Chase even got off work.

12

Graduation was this Sunday, so as a good bye to everyone, the guys were throwing one last huge party at Chase's house Friday night. Chase told me he'd stay at his parent's house with me since I wasn't planning on going, but I practically kicked him out, telling him it was the last time to really be with all the guys before everyone moved back home. Bree had been a little easier to get out, since she was planning on spending the entire weekend with Konrad before he moved back to Oregon, but still whined when I refused to go with them. Thankfully, Mom completely understood why I wanted to stay away, and supported my decision to make them go. I mean, it's a little trashy for a five and a half month pregnant teenager to go to a party where everyone was wasted and playing drinking games. I knew if I had gone, Chase and Bree would constantly be at my side to make sure I was fine, and I wanted them to enjoy this. Once they were all gone, Mom, Dad and I ordered Mexican food and piled onto the couch to watch movies and feel my gummy bear dance around and kick the crap out of me. Normally we couldn't make him move unless Chase was talking to my swollen belly, and even then he mostly just rolled now. But Mexican food was the sure way to make my boy dance. Over the last two weeks, the kicks had become stronger, and there were only a few times when other people couldn't feel him too. The second movie had just ended when Bree texted me.

Breanna – 'Umm...that girl that Chase works with...what's her name Trick, Trixie, Tramp?'

Me – 'LOL! Trish...what about her?'

Breanna – 'She just showed up.'

Me – 'Ugh. Seriously? I can't stand her. Why is she at a college party anyway? Wait, who invited her?'

Breanna – 'My thoughts exactly. I'm guessing Chase did.'

Me – 'Aces. Well keep an eye on her, let me know. Skank.'

 Breanna – 'Will do friend! You can always still come over...?'

Me – 'Nah, I'm about to go to bed. Besides, I don't want Chase to think I don't trust him, because I do. I just don't trust her.'

Breanna – 'Kay, I'll let you know if something goes down. Night love you'

Me – 'Love you too, thanks.'

It bothered me more than I wanted it to, but I wasn't about to ask Chase why she was there. It's not like the parties were exclusive to SDSU, but I'm pretty sure he said she was twenty eight, and he knows I don't like her. Like I said, I wasn't one of those girlfriends who didn't allow him to have female friends, because he definitely had plenty, but they all knew we were together, and none of them ever flirted with him after our pregnancy announcement. Trish obviously didn't care that he was taken or about to have a baby with me. She'd text him in the middle of the night for no reason, the few times I'd been to the shop since first meeting her, she was always still in his section laughing and touching his arm, even if she had clients waiting. And let's not forget how she asked him almost daily to come to her place after the shop closed for a late dinner – Chase said no every time – or all her new tattoos that she'd only let Chase do. Chase said she was just like one of the guys, but I'm female, I was now positive she wasn't gay and knew what she was doing, and it pissed me off.

I barely slept that night. Despite telling me he would, Chase didn't come home, which meant I couldn't get comfortable without his arms around me, I hadn't heard from him and Chase. Didn't. Come. Home. Not like he never stays at his house anymore, it is his house after all, but almost every night we fall asleep in the same bed whether it's here or there. Thankfully most nights was here since I still don't feel comfortable flaunting my relationship with Chase in front of Brandon. But we still ended up there and the few times we did were carefully coordinated so we wouldn’t run into him.

I continued to tell myself that Chase probably decided to actually drink last night since it was his last party with those guys, and to be happy that he didn’t drive drunk. And it’s not like I need him to give me a full report when we're apart, but this time I knew Trish was at that party, and that is what really bothered me. At least Bree didn't text me again, which meant nothing happened, but that just didn't seem to matter to me right now. I had already taken a shower, gotten ready for the day, made breakfast and was currently going through the baby names book with a different colored highlighter to narrow down the names even more, and it was only seven. I breathed a sigh of relief and scolded myself for acting paranoid when Chase texted me.

Chase – 'Hey beautiful, come by the house, I have a surprise for you.'

Me – 'Surprise? Really now.'

Chase – ';-) Yep, see you soon.'

I frowned at the screen. Chase never did smiley faces. I shook my head…paranoid, absolutely paranoid. I needed to cool it, or I was going to drive myself crazy. Grabbing my keys and hopping into my Expedition, I drove to his house trying to figure out what the surprise was, and why he was up so dang early. I tried to remain quiet so I could sneak into his room without waking up anyone, but Brandon's husky voice caught me.

“Hey Harper, where were you last night?”

I turned to see him sitting on the kitchen counter, coffee mug in hand. My heart dropped when I looked into his gray eyes. I wanted to curl up in his arms and take back the last five months. “Uh, thought it'd be a little awkward considering.” I waved a hand over my stomach.

“Oh, yeah.” His eyes stayed glued to my small round belly, “Yeah, I guess. How is that going?”

“It's good.” I said softly, watching his face carefully while I said the next words, “It's going to be a boy.”

One of the days when we were in Arizona for Christmas, I had been in the kitchen with his mom cooking barefoot. Brandon started teasing that all I needed now was to be pregnant, and it would be a perfect picture. I had thrown an oven mitt at him, which he dodged and brought back over to me, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my neck. He promised he'd been joking but said whenever we did have kids, he wanted a boy to name him after his dad. I hadn't been ready to talk about marriage with him at that point, but in the joyful mood of that day I had laughed and promised to pop out a boy for him ASAP. Even through the laughing, he got a wide smile and his eyes sparkled. My heart squeezed at that memory.

He blew out heavily and closed his eyes, probably remembering that day too. “That's uh, that's great Harper. I'm happy for you.”

My little gummy bear turned over and delivered a sharp and painful kick. I gasped and my hand flew to my stomach, I hadn't had one that hurt until then.

Brandon jumped off the counter and rushed to me, “Are you okay? What happened?”

I laughed and waved him off, “I'm fine. He just kicked me, it hurt a little and caught me by surprise.”

“I didn't think they could kick that hard yet.”

I tilted my head and smiled at him, I wasn't sure how he knew that it was still early. “Yeah, well the Doctor said it isn't incredibly common for the baby to move this much yet, but she figured since he's still so healthy and a little on the big side already that it was fine, and he would most likely come early. How did you know that though?”

He smiled sheepishly and ducked his head, it was such a strange thing to see on a man that looked like him, “I've been looking it up.”

My heart warmed, “How did you even know how far along I was though?”

“I overheard Chase talking to Brad about your due date.” His face fell at the same time my little gummy bear started in on a string of softer kicks.

“Oh there he goes again!” I grabbed Brandon's hand and put it on my stomach.

I don't know why I did it, that wasn't fair to do to him. I was silently cursing myself for unintentionally hurting Brandon even more, but his face lit up as he whispered he could feel them. We stood like that for a couple minutes until I remembered Chase was waiting for me, and might walk in on this. He didn't care when the guys he lived with or worked with would rub my belly, but I'm sure he would throw a fit if he saw Brandon do it. I stepped away, but kept smiling at him so I wouldn't come across as rude.

“So um, why are you up so early?”

He blinked and looked up from my stomach before going back to retrieve his mug, “Couldn't sleep last night, so I went surfing this morning.”

“Good waves?”

“They were decent.” He shrugged, “Why are you here this early? I thought Chase left for his parent's last night.”

“No, he stayed. He texted me not too long ago asking me to come over. Speaking of, I should probably go let him know I'm here.” Brandon and I hadn't shared more than a handful of words since our breakup, and I honestly would have loved to sit on the couch and talk to him for hours, there was so much I wanted to say to him.

Brandon nodded slowly and flashed a quick smile, “It was good to see you Harper.”

“You too.” I walked to the hallway entrance and turned back to find him watching me with a sad expression, the same one he'd worn every time I'd seen him in the last few months. “I never meant to hurt you Brandon, I hope you know that.”

I hurried down the hall and turned the knob to Chase's room. It was locked so I knocked and stood there for a few seconds, pressing my ear to the door to hear if there was movement. There wasn’t, he probably fell back asleep since it took me so long to get here. With a sigh I turned back and walked into the kitchen where Brandon was rinsing out his mug. He turned to leave and started when he saw me.

“I thought you were going...?”

“His door is locked, he probably fell asleep again.”

“Oh.” He looked towards the hall on the opposite side of the living room that would lead to his room, then back to me, “I could make you breakfast? I don't have anything going on today.”

“Don't worry about it, I already ate. I'm probably going to –”

A door opened down the hall and my jaw dropped to the floor when I saw Trish walk out in nothing but underwear and Chase's favorite concert shirt. She rubbed her eyes and stretched, causing the shirt to rise up farther.

“Was someone knocking?” She asked groggily.

Oh. My. Word. No effing way she just walked out of Chase's room. I spared a quick glance to Brandon whose face was getting red with anger and staring at the hall, then pushed past Trish to walk into Chase's room that now had the door wide open. Chase was asleep in bed in only his boxers, his arm stretched out where I guess Trish's body had just been. All the air left my lungs and I had to grab the door frame with one hand and the knob with the other to keep myself standing.

“Harper?” Brandon breathed behind me.

I turned and tears started streaming down my face when I saw him. I'd hurt him so badly, cheated on him and crushed him though he'd never once done anything but love me. Now here I am looking at my boyfriend and the father of my unborn child after a night with another woman. I would expect Brandon to smirk, say that karma's a bitch, and I deserved this. Instead his face was worried when he looked at me, and downright murderous when he glanced at Chase. I stumbled away from both of them and down the hall, stopping short when I saw Bree. She was standing across the living room from me with Konrad, both looking like they just woke up and didn't understand why Trish was in the kitchen. Bree did a double take when she saw me, Brandon now behind me again, and her eyes went wide as her head slowly turned back to the kitchen.

“YOU BITCH!” She screeched and lunged towards Trish, Konrad barely caught her arms and slammed her back to his chest. “You whore! He's about to have a baby!”

A painful sob broke out of my chest when Trish simply smirked at me, then Breanna. “I ha – I have to – I have to go.” I grabbed for my keys in my purse and dropped them, before I could bend down to get them, Brandon grabbed them and ushered me toward the front door.

He walked me to my car and opened the passenger door, “Get in, I'm not going to let you drive.”

“Harper!” Bree yelled as she ran down the driveway, “Harper, are you okay?”

“Why would I be okay?! I thought you were watching them!”

“We were, I swear we both thought he went back to Mom's so we went to sleep.”

I covered my face and leaned into the seat, “God, I knew this would happen.”

“Let me take you to Mom's Harper.”

“I can't Bree, I can't go there yet. I can't tell her about this.”

She unbuckled my seat belt and pulled me into a hug, her tiny frame shaking with sobs. “I can't believe this is happening Harper, I'm so sorry. I swear we were watching them, I swear!”

“I believe you, it's not your fault.” I let my head drop to her shoulder, “I always knew he would leave me.”

“I'll castrate him for this, Harper.”

I took in a deep breath and sank back into my seat, “Bree stop. This was his decision. I was stupid to think he would want to be with me and raise this baby.” Bree started to talk but I cut her off, “Can you tell Mom and Dad please? I can't face them yet, and I don't think I can tell them.”

“Where are you going to go?” She spoke through the lump in her throat.

“I don't know. I'll come home, just not yet. I can't handle possibly running into him right now.”

She eyed Brandon warily from where he was in the driver seat, then looked back to me, “Call me. Just because he messed up, please don't leave us, we all love you too Harper.”

“I won't, promise. I just need a few hours to think, I'll see you tonight. Love you Bree.”

“I love you too friend.” She squeezed my hand before shutting my door and stepping back to Konrad, tears still pouring down her face.

“Drive Brandon, please. Just go anywhere.”

He cranked the car and turned to leave the neighborhood, my phone chimed before we'd gone more than a block, it was a message from Chase. Against my better judgment, I opened the text and slapped my hand over my mouth to cover my disturbed cry.

“Harper?!”

“Just drive!”

I powered down my phone and threw it to the back of the car, it hit the back seat with a loud smack. Closing my eyes didn't help, all I could see was those freaking pictures, so I forced them open and tried to concentrate on each individual house, tree, lamppost and car we passed. It wasn't working. All I saw was Chase and Trish, his hand cupping one of her naked breasts, eyes closed tight, lips locked. The next picture, his lips pressed to her neck, her head tilted back and mouth parted in ecstasy. Chase's forearm and below were cut off by the bottom of the picture, but from the way his arm was going down the middle of her body, I had no doubt where his hand had been. A small part of me noticed the irony that Brandon was now driving me away from the house after seeing pictures from Chase's phone, but this was different. Brandon hadn't actually cheated, Amanda had just sent pictures of herself to break us up. Chase was definitely in, and participating in the pictures I'd just gotten, and our relationship was much farther along than just a week with Brandon.

After a few more minutes of driving, Brandon spoke, “What was it?”

I stared at the road ahead of us, and then out the side window. I let another minute go by before I responded, “Photos of them. Together.” I knew Trish was the one who took the pictures, since her arm was stretched out, and I was positive she was the one that sent them from his phone, but that didn't change anything. It still happened.

Brandon's right hand clenched the steering wheel ‘til his fingers were white, his left ran over his buzzed hair, down his face and stopped at his mouth. “I'm so sorry Harper.”

I snorted and turned my head to stare at him, “Why? I deserve this, it's what I did to you.”

“No you don't.” He said sternly, “You don't deserve this at all.” He put the car in park and turned it off.

“Where are we?” I looked at the cliff overlooking the ocean, it was a beautiful view and there were benches near the edge.

“I came here a lot after I found out about you and Chase. I'm sorry, I can take you somewhere else, I just didn't know where to go.”

“This is fine.”

“Uh, if you want to sit out there, I'll wait in here. Or if you want to sit in here I can go outside.”

“I'll go out there, you don't have to stay Brandon.”

He gently grabbed my hand, “I'll be here, and I'll let Bree know where you are.” When I looked down to our hands he dropped mine and forced both of his onto the steering wheel.

Nodding, I took off the seat belt and made my way to one of the benches. I sat there silently screaming. I screamed at Trish for continuously putting herself out there for my boyfriend and ruining everything. I screamed at Chase for doing this to our son, for breaking my heart, and leaving me for another woman when he promised he wouldn't. And mostly I screamed at myself, for hurting Brandon and being stupid enough to think that Chase and I could be together for any amount of time. After the anger subsided, the hurt came back full force and I cried and held my stomach, promising our son that I would make sure he had the perfect life. I'd been prepared for a life with my baby, one where Chase didn't want to be involved, but the last two months he'd been so convincing in playing the part of expecting daddy that it hurt to think about doing this alone. Regardless of what Claire and Bree said, Chase was their family, and he came first. I didn't know if I'd still be welcome to stay there, and for a few moments I panicked while I thought about where I would go, but I knew when the time came, I could take my money back out of the account and go wherever I needed. I would figure it out and we would be just fine. My gummy bear and me. I cried until no more tears would produce, then sat there some more trying to come to terms with what happened and how different things would be from here on out.

Brandon sat down next to me and spoke softly, “I need to take you to eat something.”

Was he serious? The last thing I was thinking about was food. “I'm not hungry.”

“That's fine if you're not,” he sighed and turned my head so I was facing him, “but you're pregnant Harper, you need to eat something.”

“I told you at the house, I just had breakfast.”

“It's almost five.” His tone was soft, careful.

I quickly looked at the sky and the placement of the sun. He was right, we'd been here for over eight hours. Now that I knew how much time had elapsed, I started noticing my back was stiff, my bottom was completely numb and my stomach was growling. I tried to stand up but was struggling after being in one position for so long. Brandon wrapped an arm around my waist, pulled me up and helped me to the car. We drove to Panera and Brandon led me to a booth in the back and sat in silence until most of my sandwich was gone.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Claire had told me dozens of times since they “adopted” me into their family that I really needed to start sharing my feelings. Said it would kill me one day to keep them all bottled up. I'd laughed at her then, but started opening up more and was surprised to find how much better I felt when I did. “Um, sure, I guess.” I watched Brandon's patient expression for a few minutes to make sure I wasn't going to break down in the restaurant. That must have been why he brought us to the back. “I'm angry. Not just for myself, but for the baby. It's one thing to leave me, it's another to leave him. Even if he were to say he still wanted to be in his life once he was born, I'd always worry that he'd just hurt him in the end too. I want him to have two parents that love each other and love him. You understand that more than anyone.”