Текст книги "Let Me Go"

Автор книги: Michelle Lynn

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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

“ROB!” MATTY RUNS across the room and straight into my arms.

I have to admit, I like this whole hero ego that comes over me when Matty sees me. In the past few weeks since Paige and I started dating, we’ve picked him up a few times to take him for ice cream, or out to eat. Today his begging to go to the zoo finally worked. Unfortunately, it’s not just the three of us; it’s the whole damn gang. Chrissy got wind of us going, which brought Sadie, who invited Jessa, who asked Trey. The caravan we’re traveling up there in makes me believe I should trade in the damn Mustang for a soccer mom mobile. As if that would ever happen.

“What’s up, little guy?” I throw him up in the air and he yelps. I squint my eyes from the loud noise. After our show last night, and a few too many Heinekens, I may be slightly hung-over. Which is probably where the animosity of everyone coming with us today forms.

“Aren’t you so excited, Matty? What’s your favorite animal?” Chrissy barrels into the room as her wavy blonde ponytail swings from side to side.

“Elephant,” Matty answers and then sits down at the table while I offer to pour him a bowl of cereal.

“Which one, bud?” I position the three boxes in front of him.

He whips around to face me, a smile from ear to ear. “You got me Avengers cereal?” There’s that whole I’m God persona I strive for. As much as I love how much he thinks I’m the coolest thing ever, I don’t forget that there’s no disappointing him, too. Although, I don’t see anything bad happening between me and Paige, if it does, Matty won’t understand if I’m not around.

“I did.” I snatch the credit until Paige comes in and narrows her eyes at me. “Well, your sister may have been with me,” I add and she laughs moving toward the fridge.

Chrissy sits down next to him. “Do you know that people call Dex, Hulk?”

“Don’t confuse the kid, Chris.” I step in front of Paige and she slips by me, but not without my hand cupping her tit. I hate the hiding in front of Chrissy; I’m growing tired of our secret relationship. I want Paige to sleep in with me instead of hightailing it out before Chrissy and Dex wake up. We’ll have to talk about that tonight, because at this point I’m invested enough that Chrissy will understand.

“Hulk?” Matty questions with wide eyes. “He has a lot of muscle.”

“Yes he does,” Chrissy agrees like the lovesick chick she is.

Moving over to the table, I lean over to Matty. “Bigger isn’t always better. Think of Spiderman, he can climb buildings.”

“Are you comparing yourself to Spiderman?” Chrissy arches her eyebrow at me.

“No. I don’t need to be compared to some super hero, I’m original.”

“That you are,” Paige whispers in my ear as she slides in the seat next to Matty. Her agreement spurs another zing of warmth right to my heart.

An hour later, we’re filing into the zoo like a pack of lions, Trey being the papa lion. He’s carting a wagon with Drew and a cooler. The kids are all in matching green shirts and he’s dictating our schedule before we even enter. Seriously, slap on a fanny pack at this point. Trey is all in daddy mode.

Matty hangs around Tara and Chloe, constantly running and laughing. I catch Paige smiling as she watches him acting so carefree, like a four year old should be.

“He really likes them?” Kailey walks alongside Paige.

“He does. Other than day care, he hasn’t had a lot of interaction with kids.” Paige is so honest it’s admirable.

“That’s a shame. He’s welcome at our house any time. Sometimes it’s easier with other kids in the house.” Kailey laughs and then the two of them begin talking about Matty and Paige’s mom. She surprises me that she’s so willing to let people into her business. Another sign she’s so much better than me.

“I’m sensing a secret.” Brady comes on the side of me. Sadie pushes the stroller for Jessa as the two of them chat away.

“You sense nothing.”

“You like her, do I dare say—”

“You don’t.” I end the conversation, looking around to make sure no one else hears him.

Brady laughs and then chats up Trey about what direction to go in.

“Matty!” Chrissy screams. “Elephants.” She points to the dirt grounds with four elephants on their feet with tails swinging and ears moving. I think I need to introduce him to some Tigers and Lions. Animals that run fast and are killer hunters.

Matty and the girls run over to the fence, stepping up on the ledge, peering over. “Whoa!” I yell, lunging over to them. “Don’t lean over. You don’t want to fall.”

Laugher erupts behind me. “Man, what kind of effect have you had on him?” Trey says to Matty, smirking over to me.

I tilt my head and narrow my eyes in a sarcastic movement. I won’t admit it now, but Matty just scared the shit out of me. Paige steps up next to me, her fingers grazing against mine and when I wheel around, she’s smiling. Suddenly, I don’t feel stupid for being overprotective of a kid I’m not even related to.

“Eww . . .” the kids yell in unison as they watch the elephant poop in front of them.

Matty backs away from the fence and scurries over to me and Paige. “Did you see the elephant take a shit?” My eyes go wide and I watch a mortified Paige evolve.

“Matty!”

The kid just stares not knowing what he did wrong. Paige having the intuition she does squats down to his level. “That’s a bad word. Where did you hear it?”

My heartbeat picks up, as I replay every interaction with him. I rack my brain if he heard it from me, because I don’t want the wrath of Paige.

“Daddy.” We all can tell by Matty’s tone he’s confused and doesn’t even understand which word he said that’s bad.

Her shoulders slump and she places her hand on his shoulder. “You can’t say it anymore.”

His head falls down and his shoulders begin to shake. My heart drops to my stomach as I watch the kid losing it in front of everyone. My eyes flip to Paige who doesn’t skip a beat in wrapping him in her arms. “It’s okay, Matty. You’re not in trouble, you just can’t use that word.” As she tries to soothe him, he only wails more.

Tara and Chloe come closer and they each try to cheer him up by swinging their arms around the boy, but damn, this isn’t going to help. The boy is too young for a threesome, so I have no choice but to fix it.

“Who wants a snow cone?” I ask and Chloe and Tara run over, deserting their boy for sugar. Sad really.

Matty picks up his head, wet and splotchy cheeks with red eyes. The interest is there, but he’s still embarrassed.

“Matty, what’s your flavor?” He turns to me, so I’m making progress. Paige’s eyebrows raise, silently asking me what I’m doing.

“They have blue raspberry. Remember the slushy you had last weekend? That dyed your lips and tongue blue?” I pour as much excitement as I can into my inflection and luckily he buys it, running over to join the girls. Gotcha.

Once the four of us evade the hut and I purchase them all snow cones, the three kids lead the way to the next animal.

“If I didn’t know any better,” Brady hints and I shake my head.

“You don’t,” I say and he laughs, slapping me on the back. “I’ve never seen you so happy.”

He passes me by and it’s hard to keep one foot in front of the other and not stop in my tracks. Happy? Have I really not seemed happy all these years? I mean, I knew my insides were gutted, but I thought I performed one hell of an Academy Award act. Guess I was wrong.

The thing is, I’m genuinely happy when Matty’s around and even happier with Paige. Neither one of them sees my faults—they only stare at me with affection and love. The question is, can I overcome my doubt of trust in order to see where this is really going with Paige and me? I know the answer; I just have to gain the nerve to tell her.

The longer the day, the more I’m obsessing over everything Paige does. The way she tucks the lose strands behind her ear as she talks with the girls. Her gentle and loving caresses to Matty’s shoulders or back of his head. Not to mention the sexual glimpses she keeps firing my way. If I’m behind her, all that I think about are those long legs wrapped tight around me as I slide into her.

“Okay, cut the shit. What’s going on?” Brady slaps my back, awakening me from my critique of my emotions for Paige. Could I? No way.

My eyes flash to his prying and observing ones. “Nothing, why?”

The girls are up with the kids while all the guys, besides Dex, linger behind the pack. Dex and Chrissy ran off somewhere and I’m fairly positive it was behind the snow cone hut to fuck. Did the orangutans going full speed at it, make them so horny they couldn’t hold off?

“Why? You’re looking at her like cupid just pierced your heart.” Trey chimes in his two cents.

“No man.” I shake my head. “She’s just hot, you know? Wouldn’t mind tapping it if Chrissy wouldn’t have blocked me.”

The four of us stroll in line and it’s odd having Grant right beside Brady, listening to all of this. I’m not exactly friends with the guy, so he doesn’t need to hear how bad I want the brunette in front of me.

“You’re so full of shit. There’s more than just your dick getting hard,” Trey starts in again.

“Don’t you have a diaper to change?”

“Don’t you have to buy a snow cone?” He laughs and I shake my head again. “It’s us, man. Look at each one of us. We’ve all surrendered to their power.” The other three nod and think about the way they lost the battle.

“Yeah,” Grant whispers. “Shit, I’ve got a second kid on the way. Why the hell wasn’t I covering it up?”

“Please, you were meant to be a dad. I got a girl that’s so obsessed about her wedding, she forgot why the hell it’s happening to begin with.” Brady’s eye pin Sadie’s eyes. “But damn if I could give a shit. I just want her to hold my last name.”

“She loves you man, anyone can see that,” I add and all three of their heads whip around like a tall blonde with big tits just strolled by.

“That’s it, I’m calling it.” Grant raises his hand in the air. “I know we’ve had our differences, but you have the look and if these assholes aren’t going to nail you to the wall for it, I will. You want to do more than fuck her, just admit it.”

Holy shit, it takes the one that shouldn’t be here to call me out on my shit. Why doesn’t he just saddle up to my ex-girlfriend like damn sloppy seconds? That’s unfair. Shit, what the hell is wrong with me? I’m not even willing to go after Grant in my own damn head?

“The faster you face it, the happier you’ll be.” Brady quirks his lips and jogs ahead, rushing to Sadie’s back. When he tightens his hold on her, she squeals.

Brady’s action grabs Paige’s attention and she peers back at me, giving me that smile that calms my whole body. They’re right, it’s over; the battle has been lost.

ALTHOUGH MY MIND is completely exhausted from my back to back classes all day, my body still yearns for Rob’s contact. So, when I emerge out of Beacon Hall and spot him sitting on the bench facing the building, I smile. Then I notice a herd of girls stalk past him. He glances up from his phone and then looks back down. His reaction of indifference widens my smile, even if I have to remind myself to keep that guard up. Guys like Rob don’t just do a one-eighty because of one girl. I’ve witnessed women all of my life who think they’ve tamed my dad, only to be heartbroken days later.

His head rises when rushes of students emerge from the building and a smile crosses his face when he spots me watching him. He tucks his phone in his pocket and breaks the distance between us. “Hey.” He tucks his hands into his pockets and rolls back on his heels. It’s odd to see this sense of shyness in him.

“Hi.” I straighten my messenger back over my chest and his eyes divert to how it separates my breasts.

“I like the bag,” he jokes and I shake my head, shoving his shoulder.

“Of course you do.”

“Can you blame me?” he leans in, “I enjoyed them in my hands last night.”

A warmth spreads throughout my body from his words.

His hands search mine out and then entwines our fingers together. “You have no idea how much I want to kidnap you back to my bedroom right now.”

“Why don’t you?” I ask as his forehead dips down, pressing against mine.

“Because I’m going to try like hell to be a gentleman for once.”

“What fun is that?” I ask, forcing back my own tigress wanting to spend the rest of the day in bed with him.

“Not very, but it’s a necessity, because if I always did what my dick wanted, you’d be locked to my bedpost.” His forehead leaves mine, but his body inches closer.

“Way to tease a girl.” I release one of my hands from his and swipe my finger down his chest.

He winks. “I do my best.” Then he grabs my hand and leads me away from the building. “Lunch before the real teasing begins.” He chuckles and I allow him to guide me through the mass of students filing into the building.

We walk side by side to his car, parked illegally in the professor lot. Should I have really expected him to follow rules such as designated parking areas? I don’t think so.

I wait by the passenger side while he opens my door, but before I have a chance to climb in, he corners me, his arm wrapping around my waist as he yanks me into him. Our bodies flush together, and his lips hover over mine before he softly kisses me. Those excited flutters ramp up when he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and then his tongue sneaks in to meet mine. By the time we part, I’m breathless and dazed to what I was doing right before he graced me with his lips.

“Get on in, baby. Time to feed you.”

I slide into his car and my body tingles from the thrill Rob gives me. Once he’s secure in the driver’s seat, he starts the car and we drive away from Beacon Hall. “Where are you taking me?” I ask, shifting in my seat to place my bag on the side of my legs.

“Have you ever been to Imagine Cafe?”

I eye him curiously because he doesn’t fit the type. “Have you?” I ask, scrunching my eyebrows.

“Yeah, why?”

“I don’t know. It’s so eccentric and whimsical. It doesn’t fit with you.”

“Who’s the judgmental one now?” He arches his eyebrow and shoulder knocks me.

“Whatever. I’m pleasantly surprised.”

Right after I compliment him, his phone buzzes in the center console. Not wanting to pry, I purposely distract myself by looking out the window and he grabs the phone. He releases a long breath before muting it. “This will just be a second.” I nod my head, never actually facing him.

As the rolling hills of our campus passes by, I try not to allow my imagination to veer wild that it’s another girl. When I told Rob I wasn’t all perfectly pieced together, it was the truth. Seeing my parents’ dysfunctional relationship over the years has scared me, more than I think I realize. My insecurity that a man can love a woman and not just use her for a night is not something I had a great example of during my life. So, as hard as it is to push the expectation of him cheating away, I’m trying because there’s something with Rob I’ve never felt before.

“I already have lunch plans. How about I come down tomorrow or this weekend? We can have dinner?” I continue my ignorance to the conversation happening literally twelve inches from my ear. “I know you came all the way out here.” There’s a long pause and I can hear a woman on the other end of the phone before he switches ears. “Fine.” Another pause. “I said, fine. Give me fifteen. Yeah, Imagine Cafe is good.”

He ends the call and the phone drops into the cup holder between us. Refusing to allow him to see the hurt quickly building inside of me because he’s going to break our lunch date, my eyes fixate out the window. When his hand reaches over and squeezes my thigh, I know for sure, our lunch date is canceled. “It’s okay.” I give him the out. Although I’m disappointed, we’re not even dating. Well, I guess we’re dating, secretly, but I haven’t had the nerve to ask if we’re exclusive yet.

“I’m sorry. It’s my mom. She drove up here for an appointment and wants to have lunch before she goes back home.” My head whips around, unconsciously trying to figure out if he’s lying. If he’s tossing the mom card out, I have to know if it’s the truth or not.

“Your mom?” I clarify and the corner of his right lip curls up.

“Yeah, my mom.” Then the assumption I made must dawn on him. “Oh, you thought?” He points to his phone and a rush of heat spreads up my neck. “I’d ask you to come with us, but you know, awkward with my mom.”

“I’d love to meet her.” Then I roll my eyes at my own blubbering talk. “I mean, someday, obviously, not today. That would be crazy, there’s—” I stop when Rob’s laugh echoes throughout the car.

The Mustang rolls to a stop sign and his hand presses against my cheek urging me to face him. “Come to lunch with us? I’ll introduce you as a friend. That way she won’t interrogate you.”

My stomach twists with the fear of meeting his mom, but as insane as what I’m about to say is, it feels right. “Sure. As long as I’m not intruding.”

“I wouldn’t have asked if you were.” He flips his turn signal on and heads toward the downtown area. “Seriously though, we need to tell her you’re just my roommate or friend. She’ll smell blood regardless and I’m only saving you by lying to her.”

Hmm . . . I wonder how true that is, but I’m not going to fight him. If he came to lunch with one of my parents, I’d tell him the same thing. “Friends,” I agree and he winks over at me.

“Only until I get you to my bedroom.”

I roll my eyes, silently enjoying his promise.

IMAGINE CAFE IS known for their soda fountains, sandwiches and ice cream. When we enter the small whimsical restaurant, I spot his mom immediately. I don’t have to wait for Rob’s arm to rise in hello to her, or to see her own smile toward her son. She’s the spitting image of him with jet-black hair, pinned up in the back. Those eyes, the clear ocean blues that match his, show only happiness to see him steer toward her.

I stay back a few feet, waiting for her to slide out of the booth and for them to have the welcome hug. His arms wrap around his mom and then she tilts her head when she notices me. Drawing back from Rob, she questions him with her eyes and he nods. It’s a silent exchange between the two of them and I already admire their relationship.

Rob steps back, leaving us face to face with one another.

“Mom, this is Paige. Paige, this is my mom.” He delegates the introductions and she holds out her hand to me.

I shake the chilled thin hand in my own. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Paige.” Anyone around us can see the sheer relief on her face that I’m here with her son. I can practically see the invisible hopes looming inside of her. That I might be able to heal her son and I can’t fault her, I’d be the same way.

“You too, Mrs. Winters.”

She shoos me with her hand. “Sara, dear. My mother-in-law took that name to her grave.” She nervously giggles, eyeing over my shoulder. I swivel around and don’t find anyone else besides the other patrons and the staff.

“My mom and my grandma didn’t get along,” Rob chimes in, stepping aside for me to slide into the booth.

“That’s an understatement,” Sara deadpans and sits down across from us, scooting all the way to the wall. “Good for Rob’s wife one day. I promised myself I wouldn’t fight him on anyone he brought home. If she loves him, that’s enough for me.” She beams a smile over to me and I unconsciously press my back against the booth. I thought things between Rob and I were going warp speed, this woman has me at the altar, probably in her dress.

“Mom.”

“Sorry, honey.” She pretends to zip her lips and throw away the key. “I have to remind myself baby steps.” She places her elbows on the table and rests her chin on her hands, peering over to me.

Her admiring eyes bring the self-conscious side out from me because this woman is viewing me like I’m the saving grace for her son. Although, he’s opened a sliver up to me, I know there’s a long way to go before I ever have a chance of saving him.

“So, Mom.” Rob distracts her from staring at me while his hand slides under the table landing on my thigh. It’s comforting to know he’s trying to ease this awkward situation. “Why are you here?”

Her eyes flash to his and then she sits back in her seat. “Um . . . let’s have lunch and then I’ll come over to your place.” She’s hiding something and Rob doesn’t miss it.

“No, let’s talk here.”

She eyes me again and then begins to have that silent chat with Rob across the table. He squeezes my knee and I reach down, wrapping my own hand with his.

“Go ahead, Mom.”

She hems and haws before her eyes glance to the back of the restaurant again. “I came up to talk to the Dean of Business.”

“Why?” Rob doesn’t get angry for her interference. Instead his vision casts to his mom for answers.

“You know Dean Henders is a good friend of mine. I’m an alumnus of Western.” She fills me in with a proud smile. “Ashton and I were in the same dorm our sophomore year.” She stares out of the window for a moment and I can’t help but assume she’s thinking about times gone by.

The waiter comes by and I hadn’t skimmed the menu, but I can ramble my usual order. Obviously, Sara’s familiar with the restaurant because she hands the young waiter her menu and rattles off what only regulars usually get. Even down to what she doesn’t want. “The Cuban. Heavy on the Dijon, no dill pickles. And of course a chocolate shake.” She smiles and then casts her sight back on me.

I order a turkey club with their signature ranch spread, I add a strawberry shake. Rob hands his menu to the guy and only says usual.

“Usual?” I question and the waiter smiles, slipping away.

“I may come here way too often.” He smirks, tightening his hold on my leg. God, his touch has me scooting closer to him.

“I’ve only ever been here a few times.” I admire the painted pink unicorns and light blue stars on the ceiling.

“So, your visit with Dean Henders was personal?” Rob asks the question that swam in my brain, but wouldn’t dare ask.

“Sort of.” Her shoulders rise and fall. Rob stiffens next to me.

“What does that mean?”

They stare long and hard at one another and my eyes ping back and forth like I’m in the middle of a standoff, waiting for someone to draw their gun.

“You know I want you to enroll back in school?”

“I told you on my terms. I haven’t decided yet.”

“Rob.”

“I know, Mom. Just give me more time.”

The back and forth finally disperses and Rob excuses himself from the table.

“I’ll be back.” I watch him disappear down the hallway under the restroom sign. A knot forms in my stomach as I slowly circle back to his mom.

Could this be more awkward? I think not.

“So, Paige. Are you Rob’s girlfriend?”

Man, she doesn’t beat around the bush.

“Just his roommate . . . and friend.”

“Hmm . . . usually friends don’t hold hands under the table.” She smiles. At least she isn’t upset. “It’s okay.” She glances back to the hallway and then inches across the table. “You seem nice and Rob needs nice in his life.”

I stare at her in disbelief because how do I reveal I’ve been sleeping with her son for weeks now, but have no idea what we actually are.

“You’re nervous.” She waves her hand. “Don’t be. Listen, did he tell you about Carly?” She whispers it and I wonder what she’d do if I said no.

“Yes.”

She leans back in the booth, her hand over her heart. “Good,” her voice relieved. “He’s letting you in. I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.”

I smile again, unsure how exactly to react to her.

“It’s torn Rob apart. So many problems, so much strife, so much heartbreak. It’s torn me apart all of these years, watching the boy I raised be so unhappy and blaming himself for Carly’s—” She abruptly stops and when she glances to the back again, I figure Rob’s on his way back. “Anyway dear, if he’s trusted you with Carly, then you’re in. Stick with him even if he tries to drive you away.” She pats my hand on the table and then unravels her silverware, placing her napkin on her lap as though we were talking about the weather.

Rob slides in next to me, mimicking his mom in the napkin unrolling silverware. “She didn’t pester you too much, did she?” He eyes me and I shake my head.

“No, not at all.” I give a tight smile and it seems to appease him.

“Good, she can be ruthless sometimes.”

She laughs across the table. “Not true, Rob.”

“So true, Mother.”

Their relationship brings a tinge of jealousy that my mom wouldn’t give a second thought about someone helping me with my problems. She would have jumped into Rob’s lap, licked his neck and grabbed his crotch.