Текст книги "Let Me In"
Автор книги: Michelle Lynn
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Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 19 страниц)
I get into my truck and drive back to the fraternity house. For the first time in the last hour, I allow myself to think about Lizzy. She and Jessa couldn’t be more different. I wonder if that dagger-tattooed man wouldn’t have ruined us, what our future would have been or if we would have had one at all.
Jessa
I want nothing more than to be in that truck with Grant as I watch him pull out of the parking lot. If I would have had to guess which car was his, it definitely wouldn’t have been the beat-up truck. It doesn’t fit him at all. I saw the embarrassment in his eyes when he opened the door for me to get in. Although the inside is clean and kept up, the outside needs some serious cosmetic work. The funny thing is, seeing he isn’t completely perfect only makes me want him more.
As I watch Brady extend his hand over the center console and place it in Sadie’s, a pang of jealousy hits me. I so desperately want that. If I’m being honest, my relationship with Rob was just a distraction from what I really crave. He wasn’t the best for me, and that’s why it’s probably better he never met my dad. I imagine my dad might have kicked him out of the house.
And although I have no proof, I sometimes wonder if he strayed. The fact that I never truly cared to find out should’ve told me something. Bottom line though is that Rob isn’t what I want for my future; he was just a stepping stone on my road to reinvention.
We pull up to the house and I’m back to wishing Grant was dropping me off. I think about the possibility that he would’ve kissed me. But then his words ring in my head, and I know I have to be done with Rob before I go to him.
All three of us walk in the back door just as some blonde is leaving. She doesn’t seem happy, and I only need one guess as to where she came from.
“Hey, date over so soon?” I kid Trey, who’s sitting at the table eating a sandwich and drinking a beer.
“They’re not dates, Jdoll,” he smiles up to me.
“Do you think you’ll ever just pick one?” Sadie asks, grabbing a water bottle and taking a seat at the table.
“Why? I don’t want any drama in my life. Just look at you guys,” he says, pointing the tip of his beer bottle at each of us.
“Hey, I don’t have any drama,” I tell him, and all three of them smirk over at me.
“Are you kidding? By the way, have you talked to Rob yet?” he sarcastically asks.
“He only left a few hours ago,” I counter.
“No texts?” Trey challenges, and I know where he’s going with this. He’s not exactly Rob’s number one fan.
“Cut it out, Trey,” I say, sitting down at the table and taking a swig of his beer.
“I’m just saying, Jessa,” he starts to say, putting his hand on my forearm while his eyes stare directly into me. “If you were mine, I would’ve already called and texted you, making sure you knew how badly I missed you.”
The pained expression on his face tells me he pities me for staying with Rob. Nothing pisses me off more than pity. That was one reason why I left Boulder. I wasn’t about to walk around that campus with people either calling me a whore or giving me sympathetic looks. Both were equally upsetting in my book.
“Says the guy who has a revolving bedroom door. You can’t even pick someone,” I argue, standing back up from the table.
“There’s a difference. I don’t pretend, Jessa. Rob’s your boyfriend, not a one-time fuck,” he says as I start to walk down the hall, completely done with the conversation.
“Trey…” I hear Sadie chide. A second later, I hear a chair skidding across the floor before she’s right behind me.
She follows me up the stairs. I know Trey’s right, but what he said still hurts. Apparently I was the last to notice what everyone around me already saw.
“Jessa, it might not seem like it, but Trey’s on your side,” Sadie says, following me into my bedroom.
“I know it’s the truth, but it doesn’t stop from hurting to know you were being used,” I tell her. She knows my whole sordid story and why I escaped Colorado to come here.
“He just wasn’t the right one.” She sits next to me, putting her arm around my shoulders.
“How come I never pick the good ones?” I ask her, completely full of self-doubt.
“Maybe you’re not looking in the right places.” She bites her lip, peeking through her eyelashes at me. I’m not completely oblivious to the fact that Sadie wants me with Grant.
“I don’t even know if he’d want me, Sadie.” I place my head on her shoulder, and she pulls me a little closer.
“Believe me, that boy wants you. He’s just waiting on you.” Picking up my head, I see the wide grin across her face.
“Did he say something?” The hope in my voice scares me. There’s no way I can have my heart broken again. I want someone who’ll put me as a priority in their life and make me number one. With all of Grant’s aspirations and dreams, I doubt he’d be willing to do that.
“No, but his attraction to you is unmistakable. Remember when you told me to put myself out there for Brady?” I nod my head. “It’s time for you to do the same. Forget all that shit and live. If you’re heart gets broken, you’ll eventually heal. Look what you’ve already overcome. And I know you don’t have to worry about anything like that happening with Grant. He’s a good guy, Jessa. Give him a chance,” she declares. I desperately want to take her advice.
After a few other encouraging words, Sadie eventually leaves the room. I can’t help but be envious of what she and Brady have. I flop onto my bed, fiddling with my phone. My finger hovers over Rob’s name and I wonder if I should just end it between us now. Regardless of my feelings toward Grant, I shouldn’t continue my relationship with Rob. Before I obsess over it for too long, I press call. It rings a few times and then goes to voicemail. Just as I’m about to leave a message for him to call me back, my phone vibrates and I see his name on my screen.
“Hey,” I answer.
“Who’s this?” I can barely hear the girl’s voice above all the loud chatter in the background.
“Is Rob there?” I ask, shocked that someone else is calling me from his phone.
“Who’s that? I just found this phone in my room and it started ringing.” I hear a muffled sound and it’s obvious she’s talking with someone else.
“He has black spiky hair, tattoos, and blue eyes,” I say, thinking I should just hang up.
“Sorry girly, that explains a lot of the guys around here. Hold up a second though.” She screams in the background to someone else and soon Rob’s voice comes across the phone.
“What’s up?” His breath sounds staggered and uneven as though he just ran a marathon.
“Rob?” My voice starts to waver, insecurity filling my head with thoughts of the worst possible scenarios.
“Hey, babe!” he shouts into the receiver and then I hear his muffled voice talking to someone else, as well as the distinct sound of kissing. “I was just about to call you.”
“Really?” I question, unconvinced.
“Of course. We just got to our first stop and we’re at the hotel. Can you believe I have to share a room?” His words slur due to how much he’s either drank, smoked, or snorted. Could easily be a combination of all three, knowing him.
“Listen, Rob, I wish you good luck with the tour but I think…” Just as I’m about to end our relationship, I hear a girl’s voice whisper, “Hang up the phone and fuck me.”
Shock hits me and I’m speechless. A part of me always thought Rob enjoyed himself outside of our relationship, but to actually have it confirmed smacks me hard. Slurping sounds of saliva and moans of enjoyment come over the receiver and I am torn on what to do. Does Rob even remember he was talking to me? Just as I’m about to hang up, his voice comes back on. “What were you saying, babe?” he asks, clearly distracted by the girl he’s with.
“It’s over, Rob. Have fun with that girl that’s probably sucking your dick right now. We’re through.” I press end firmly with my finger. “That son of a bitch,” I mumble to myself.
Annoyed, I make my way downstairs to grab a beer or maybe something stronger. Trey is sitting in the family room, flipping through the channels. I’m still mad at him so I pass right by and stomp into the kitchen. Grabbing the Jack Daniels bottle on top of the refrigerator, I notice that Trey is now standing in the doorway. His colorful arms are stretched from the top of the doorframe, leaning into the room. I never found plugs appealing, but on Trey, they make him sinfully sexy. Sometimes I wonder if I should’ve gone for him instead of Rob, but then I remember that Trey is only in it for one thing.
He bites his lower lip, obviously hesitating to talk to me. Before he has a chance, I say, “Please tell me I haven’t been walking around like some fucking idiot all these months?” He walks over and reaches above me, opening the cabinet. Bringing two shot glasses down, he places them in front of me.
“No, Jessa, you were falling in love. It just sucks that your prince was an asshole.” The sorrowful look across his face is filled with sympathy that I just found out my boyfriend is a cheating bastard. He gingerly takes the bottle from my hands and pours us two shots. After handing me one, he picks up his.
“To the asshole getting out of your life. It is over, right?” he asks and I nod. “Thank God.” He clicks his glass with mine and we down the shots. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really, not much to say,” I admit. How many times can we go over the fact that my boyfriend is a cheating, lying jackass that most likely never even gave a shit about me?
“Okay, one more,” he says, filling the glasses with the dark liquid. When we have them raised in our hands, he says, “To new boyfriends.” He winks and clinks my glass again.
We finish our shots and then he grabs two beers and a bag of chips. Putting his arm around my neck, he leads me into the family room. “Sorry about earlier,” he apologizes and I nod. I could never stay mad at him. “You pick the movie.” He pulls me closer to him and I wrap my arm around his small waist. I’m pretty sure Trey would make an excellent boyfriend if he ever gave himself the chance.
Chapter 7
Grant
It amazes me this past week that I’ve been able to squeeze in practices with the band. I have all the songs down. Brady and I even started to work on a new one. The best part is when Jessa and Sadie come down to the basement and sit on the oversized brown couches to hear us play in the state-of-the-art studio that his dad built when we were younger. In the early stages, I remember us goofing off in here, pretending as though we were rock stars. His dad taught us to respect the instruments, teaching us how to play each one. Obviously, Brady is better trained than me, but it was a gift I’d always be grateful for. When I think about all of the famous artists Brady’s dad has recorded and performed with in this room, I’m amazed.
With it being Valentine’s Day, Brady declined any gigs in order to celebrate it with Sadie. I can’t fault him for it; I’d probably do the same, even if it’s a lame-ass holiday. Trey and Dex invited me to some bar they’re going to where ladies get free drinks all night, but I politely declined. Emily asked me to go to her sorority’s dinner date party, but I firmly told her no. So that leaves me here at Barbells, working out with Doug.
“Come on, Grant, you can do it,” he yells down to me as I exhale a large breath, pushing up the bar loaded with weight. “Way to go, let’s try ten more,” he exclaims, already moving over to the racks that hold all the weight plates.
“Why not twenty?” I add and Doug turns his head, smirking. “Hey, I don’t need my arms tonight,” I joke.
“Are you sure about that? It’s Valentine’s Day and you don’t have a girl. Remember, your arm is attached to your hand. It might get a little lonely tonight.” He laughs, while placing the plates on the bar.
I lie back down and exhale while looking at the bar above me. I know I was at my max two pushes ago, but I can’t shake the thought of her alone tonight. Of course that douche Rob couldn’t be bothered to come home. I have to keep telling myself that it’s none of my business where she is, or what she’s doing. “Make it thirty,” I say to Doug and he laughs.
“Why don’t you call her?” he asks.
“Who?” I’ve never told anyone at Barbells about Jessa. Actually, no one knows about my feelings toward her, not even Brady.
“Whoever has you so hung up you’re about to max your weight in order to not deal with it.” He finishes putting the last plates on and stands behind the bar again. “I’ve been there, man. You’ve been moping around here since January,” he says.
“I have not. It’s just…the last thing I need right now is a relationship. I plan on leaving this town in a few months.” I place my hands on either side of the bar, ready to push it off the rack.
“You do realize she could go with you, right?” He rests his hands under the bar, waiting for my lead.
“Let’s just drop it, okay?” I respond and grunt, while I push the bar up off the stand.
“Whatever, man. I hope you work it off on this set because unlike you, I have a hot date tonight and need my arms,” he jokes.
My arms begin to shake uncontrollably as I hold the bar above my head. I slowly bring it down right above my chest. That was the easy part; now comes the true test. I inhale deeply and start exhaling as I push it up. The bar stops moving after only a few inches, I’m clearly struggling to get it up. Jessa and the impossible situation I’ve put myself in fill my thoughts.
She loves someone else, she’ll break my heart, not to mention, I can’t love someone again. Also, her secret past that made her have the hard edge I enjoy so much is just another notch against us. Before I finish another thought, Doug is clapping and saying, “Way to go, your all-time record. Let’s put it on the board.” He walks over to the stats board posted next to the mirror, takes the dry erase marker and puts my new weight on there. “Whoever she is, you must have it bad. I haven’t seen increases like this in a long time.”
“Get going on your date. Thanks for spotting me,” I say, wiping my face with a towel.
“You staying?” he asks.
“Yeah, I’m going to run a little before I leave.” I walk over to the treadmills.
Fifteen minutes later, Doug’s shorts and muscle tee have been replaced with jeans and a black button-down shirt. His cologne hits me like a ton of bricks as I inhale to catch my breath from running. He gives me a quick wave, and I hear the door chime when he leaves. Since it’s only me in here now and the gym closes in fifteen minutes, I decide to take out my ear buds and turn up the stereo.
I hop back on the running machine and up the incline a few notches. Sweat starts dripping off me onto the plastic molding of the treadmill. As Lose Yourself by Eminem blares through the speakers, I start singing the words. This might have been the worst song I could’ve picked. The words sucker punch me and suddenly I want to run to Jessa. By suppressing my feelings, am I destroying my one shot with her? No, no, I say to myself, shaking my head. It’s all physical…I don’t love her.
Just as I grab my water bottle, I notice a shadow by the counter. Shit, I knew I should’ve waited until we closed. I quickly turn off the treadmill and jump off, grabbing my towel.
“I’m sorry,” I quickly yell an apology and scramble to the stereo to turn down the blaring music. When I pick my head up, my eyes meet the sparkling hazel ones that have filled my dreams recently.
“That was quite a sight. I didn’t know you could sing, too?” she laughs, twirling her keys in her hand.
“I can’t. What are you doing here?” I notice she’s in a pair of tight black yoga pants and a purple tank top that accentuates her perfect chest. “You work out?”
“Yes, I work out,” she jokingly narrows her eyes at me.
“Alright…sorry,” I laugh, putting my hands up in defense. “Is that why you’re here?” I prop myself on the counter and stare down at her.
“Among other things.” She captures her lower lip with her teeth. “Are you done?” she asks.
“I can be, or if you want, I’ll work out with you.” This is horribly awkward. I hate that we’ve turned into this. Why did she come here?
“Um…” she hesitates. I thought I was confused before, but now I’m baffled.
“Jessa,” I say and she raises her eyes to mine, “why are you here?”
“I didn’t want to be anywhere else.” She blinks slowly and for the first time, I see insecurity in her.
“Barbells?”
“No… It’s over,” she reveals softly.
“I’m sorry, Jessa,” I hop down and put my hand on her arm to console her. I might be doing a happy dance inside, but if she’s hurting, then I need to be her friend.
“Don’t be.” She inches closer to me, and my heart starts racing. Am I ready for this?
“So, why are you here?” I swallow and keep my hands at my side, although, they want to betray me and touch her everywhere.
“I told you, there’s no other place I want to be. I’m sorry it took me so long,” she confesses and her breasts press against my chest. My hands clench, desperately trying to stay put.
“Are you sure?”
“Will you give this a try?” she asks in return, ignoring my question. “But Grant, if you honestly can’t give yourself a hundred percent to me, then don’t say yes. I’ve been in half-assed relationships my whole life, and I’m not about to go into another one.”
Her boldness makes me take a step back, debating if I’m really ready for this? I know she’ll run if I tell her I’m not sure, that’s the last thing I want. “Yes,” I whisper to her, praying she doesn’t make me say it. I can’t explain this feeling she has evoked inside of me, but I don’t want to let her go.
She jumps in my arms and I catch her by her ass, propping her up on the counter while my lips find hers. Her hands instantly go around my neck to the back of my head, and she possessively holds it against her lips. Our tongues thrust into one another’s mouths as though we can’t get enough if we tried. My right hand roams up her shirt until I find her tit. I give it a tight squeeze, eliciting a moan from her mouth.
“Take me here, Grant,” she says, breathless.
“Gladly…let me lock the door.” I move her off the counter, and she wraps her legs around my waist.
I walk her backwards to the door and push her up against the wall, holding her in place with my right leg between the two of hers. After the three locks are secured, I pick her up again and take her to the weight bench that I was just lying on an hour before. Even through the hormone-induced fog in my brain, the irony of the situation isn’t lost on me. I lie down, gently moving her to straddle on top of me. She swiftly pulls off her tank top, leaving an image I’m sure I’ll never forget. The swells of her breasts are popping out of the top of a black lacy bra with purple ribbons running throughout. “God, tell me your panties are matching,” I beg her, raising my hands to touch the satin.
“Why don’t you find out?” she challenges, standing at the edge of the narrow rectangle. I quickly sit up, giving her stomach soft butterfly kisses, while my hands find the sides of her pants. Hooking my fingers on either side, I slowly bring them down, savoring the sight of her practically naked. Inch by inch, my heart races faster while my cock grows at a matching rate. The thin, black fabric finally falls to the ground, revealing the most gorgeous sight I’ve ever seen.
“You’re beautiful,” I say and grab her hips to guide her back on top of me. Reaching behind her, I unclasp her bra and kiss my way across her chest, letting it fall to the ground.
Her moans make me harder and I’m craving for her to touch me. As though she can hear my thoughts, her hands move down to my pants and she massages my cock, sliding her hand up and down the outside of my basketball shorts. Just as I’m barely able to contain myself any longer, she takes off my shorts and my dick springs up. She stares at it, and I’m hoping it’s appreciation of my size that I see in her eyes.
“Come here,” I pick her up, sliding my finger under her panties. “You ready, baby?” I ask, already feeling her wetness around my fingers. Sliding them over, she climbs on top, taking me completely inside of her in one fell swoop. I tighten every muscle in my body in order not to come and embarrass myself by finishing in record time.
“Lean back and enjoy the ride,” she insists and I happily hold onto her hips, following her pace. Her handful tits sway every direction as she takes me in and out of her tight sex. I wish I had more hands to touch her everywhere at once. “Touch me, Grant. I’m so close. Release me.” I move my thumb over her clit, massaging it, while thrusting my cock up into her. She rests her hands on the bar above my head as she moves up and down and harder and faster with each thrust. A scream escapes her when she finds her relief, and I instantly find mine after feeling her clinch around me.
She collapses on top of my chest and I wrap my arms around her, kissing her shoulder. “I wasn’t expecting that to happen today.”
“Me either, although…I hoped,” she admits and picks up her head to look at me. I capture her lips in a soft, loving kiss. Now that I’ve come back to my senses, I begin to worry that our first time was too fast and harsh. Jesus, I should’ve taken my time with her. What was I thinking?
Obviously I wasn’t. “Shit, Jessa!” I push us up off the bench. “We didn’t use anything!” I say in a panic. The thought of having a little Bishop frightens me to no end.
“I have an IUD,” she tells me calmly. “And I’m clean. Rob and I always used something. I never told him I had it, so he was religious with the condoms. Not to mention, I just got tested after he left for the tour.” Man, she covers all the bases. Thank God, that’s the last thing I need in my life.
“I’m clean too, but I think in the future we should use a condom. Just as a precaution,” I say. “Now, let’s go.” I pick her up and start walking away from the bench, leaving our clothes where they fell.
“Where are we going?” she giggles. I love the way her small frame wraps perfectly around me, almost as if we were built to fit together like a puzzle. The thought that I found my final puzzle piece to make me whole, alarms me to no end.
“I’m going to clean you up.” I take her into the women’s locker room because I know it’ll be cleaner than the men’s. Turning on the shower, I check the temperature before placing her under the stream of warm water. After her feet touch the floor, I push her up against the wall, encasing her between my arms and kissing her passionately like she deserves. I let my fingers trace over her body, cherishing every inch and relishing the goose bumps that scatter across her with every touch.
I pick up the wash cloth I brought in with us and gently move it between her legs. She shifts and grabs my biceps when I wipe her clean, obviously still sensitive to touch. “Thank you,” she softly says in my ear.
“You’re welcome. Happy Valentine’s Day,” I reply in return. Bending down, I capture her lips, sucking her bottom lip into my mouth as my teeth nibble it. “Come home with me tonight?” I request.
“Okay,” she instantly murmurs. The fact that she didn’t even think about it for a second has my heart doing flip-flops. “But first I think we have a problem to solve,” she jokes and her hand travels down, grabbing my cock and stroking it.
“Do you have a solution?” I rest my forearms against the tile wall above her head, relishing her hands on me.
“I think I do,” she smirks, continuing to stroke me up and down.
“That only solves one problem.” I reach between her legs, slowly circling her clit with my thumb as my finger moves in and out, bringing her wetness around her folds.
“Well, I believe you found the perfect solution, Mr. Bishop.” She rests her head against the tile, bucking her hips into my hand. I watch her breaths hitch as my fingers delve deeper into her warm wetness. She’s an amazing sight when she’s about to come. I could be content for the rest of my days just watching her unfold. Her hand grips me harder and stroking me faster. Between seeing her pleasure and feeling her hand around me, I can’t hold off much longer. The wait to have her has been too long.
“Let’s go, baby, come with me,” I plead, and she bucks hard one more time, closing her eyes and screaming in ecstasy at the same time I come all over her hand. “Jessa,” I breathlessly mumble and my forehead falls onto hers.
“Take me to your bed,” she petitions.
“Anytime.”
Jessa
God…he’s good. And big. Does Grant have any faults? As I lie here watching his chest rise and fall slowly while he sleeps, a desire builds in me that I’m not sure I can handle. I want to allow him sleep, but my hands yearn to touch him and for him to touch me, despite the fact that we had sex another two times before eventually collapsing in exhaustion.
Although it’s moving fast, his eyes are telling me something I’ve never seen before. He honestly cares about me, making sure I’m just as pleased as he is. When I went to him tonight, I didn’t know what was going to happen, but I should’ve expected I would end up in his bed. The sexual tension between us has been pretty strong this past month.
I’ll have to thank Trey for his advice that night. Although I’d been done with Rob when I made that phone call, it was still a blow to my ego. Trey told me that some guys just can’t settle down, and that Rob is one of them. He said it has nothing to do with me and that any guy would be lucky to call me his girlfriend. I laughed, saying he sounded like a girl and he laughed, saying he only knew because he’s a slime ball just like Rob. But Trey is nothing like Rob. He’s just scared to commit, whereas Rob doesn’t want to commit.
After that talk, we cuddled up together on the couch, eating potato chips and drinking beer. I tried to get him to watch a chick flick, but he said no way, that it would just make me depressed and that I needed a comedy to get me out of my funk. Promising me he would watch a girl movie once I was happier, he popped in Super Troopers. I laughed so hard I cried that night. When I woke up the next morning, I found that Trey had put a blanket over my body after I fell asleep. The beer cans and chips were cleaned up and the television turned off. I really wish I could convince him he is worthy of a relationship.
Grant rolls over. I get up to go to the bathroom, noticing the picture on his desk. It’s him at probably nine years of age with a woman who I assume is his mother. Sadie told me his mother died when he was young, but that’s all she would tell me.
It’s obvious from the picture that Grant got his fairer features from his mom. She was beautiful, and had matching blonde hair and blue eyes. I can’t help but notice that there’s something in Grant’s face, a carefree look, that he never wears anymore. And it’s not just because he was young. Of course everyone is naïve to how harsh the world can become when they’re younger. It’s something more. Even when Grant laughs, he still appears as though he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Except for when he’s on stage. It’s like he’s a totally different person, and for me, it’s a glimpse of him before whatever disastrous events took place in his life.
I’ve never been to a frat house where someone has their own bathroom, but it’s a nice convenience. Perusing Grant’s belongings, I can’t help but think how I wish I would’ve met him sooner. The way his toothbrush is neatly placed in the holder, like it was just taken out of the package. His toothpaste sits precisely next to it. Snooping in his drawers, I’m not surprised to find everything in its designated spot. I hope he’ll be able to handle my disorganization.
After using the bathroom, I climb back into his bed. He rolls over and positions me under his arm, slowly moving his thumb up and down my arm. Placing a kiss on the side of my head, he pulls me closer, confirming that this is exactly where I should be.
