Текст книги "Let Me In"
Автор книги: Michelle Lynn
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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 19 страниц)
Chapter 17
Jessa
I watch Grant make his way down the hall. Not giving my feet a chance to betray me, I walk into my room. It looks the same as it did when I lived here, except my parents have cleared it out. I imagine my pictures and personal items from school are boxed up somewhere in the attic. As hard as they worked to try to keep my memories at bay, they can’t take away everything. In fact, I’m pretty sure they missed the picture that’s taped under my nightstand drawer, although I’m hopeful they found it.
Picking up my heavy suitcase, I plop it onto the bed. I open the dresser drawers, finding clothes that are more Sadie’s style than mine. Thoughts linger of who I used to be and I find my reflection in the mirror. As I stare back at the platinum blonde with heavy, dark eyeliner and multiple piercings up her ear, it still shocks me how comfortable I am in my skin now.
When my mom pulled me out of Grant’s room this afternoon, I was so angry because she wasn’t going to allow us to sleep together. The one thing that’s been running through my mind all night was when she said, “He’s changed you, Jessa. You are…well…you’re back.” She hugged me so tight, I thought my ribs would crack. “Give this new relationship space, honey. You don’t want what happened with Jason to happen with Grant.”
Thinking about it, I understand her point. Jason and I rushed into our relationship, as though we were the last two people on the planet. Foolishly, I believed him when he said it was love at first sight. He’d made it sound so romantic when telling people how he saw me from across the room and knew instantly that I would be his wife. My old naïve self-believed him, in awe at how much he loved me. I shake my head in regret of how stupid he made me look.
Thinking back, I remember things my friends would say that I always dismissed. “He’s vindictive, Jess,” my roommate Heidi told me once, but I ignored her. I always had an excuse for him and he always made excuses to me. It was always a bad grade, a guy from the fraternity, or someone he worked with. It never occurred to me that it was him. Not until the morning when everything changed, did I realize how manipulative and vicious he could be.
Those memories I can handle now. It still bothers me when I think of how many people saw me having an intimate moment with someone who was supposed to love and protect me, but it’s what I did after that still lingers beneath the surface for me. My skin crawls at the thought that I might not be here right now if it wasn’t for Sam.
Glancing around the room, I notice for the first time that all of my old pictures have been replaced with recent ones of me with my family and new friends. Walking over to my desk, I find more framed pictures. These have me and Sadie laughing, The Invisibles playing a show, and one of all of us on the porch that Mrs. F had taken a month back. When I sit on the bed, I see one of Grant and me at the cabin. He had used his phone to take the picture of us with the snowcapped trees in the background. The smile on my face and seeing Grant staring down at me with a loving grin across his lips make my insides tingle all over.
I reach over and grab my phone, knowing only one person could be responsible for this.
Me: You wouldn’t know a little elf, would you?
Grant: Hehe…I know an elf, but believe me, there’s nothing little about him.
Me: You’re too sweet to me. Thank you.
Grant: I’m not sweet enough, but glad you like it. I hope it makes it easier.
Me: You’d make it easier…please come back down.
Grant: Baby, we have to respect your parents. It’s only a few nights.
Me: Why are you being so compliant?
Grant: Don’t get me wrong. It’s taking everything in me not to crawl in bed with you right now.
Me: Don’t fight it baby! ;)
Grant: Sleep tight, beautiful. Dream of me.
Me:You’re the only one that fills my dreams Love you.
Grant: I love you too!
I place my phone down on the nightstand, next to the picture of Grant and me. Minutes later, a soft knock sounds on my door a second before I see the knob turning. “It’s about time you came to your senses,” I say before I see Sam enter through my doorway.
“I assume you were thinking I was someone else?” She raises her eyebrows, closing the door behind her. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” She walks over to my bed and sits down next to me. “Nice picture,” she remarks, reaching across me to pick it up. “I love him, Jessa. He’s the real deal this time.”
“I know. I love him too, Sam,” I admit and she hugs me tight.
“Good, because you deserve happiness, sister.” She places the picture back down. “Where was that taken?”
“He has a cabin in Pennsylvania. His mom left it for him,” I tell her. She looks surprised, so I explain the story about his mom and how she died. Sam is the most empathetic person I know and I end up having to pass her a few tissues after I grab some for myself.
“That’s really sad. No wonder he’s so guarded,” she adds.
“How do you know?” I ask her, shocked that she picked up on that.
“Okay, well don’t take this wrong because anyone can see how much he loves you, but you can tell he wasn’t lucky to have the family we have. Although he’s open with his affection to you, he’s more closed off with everyone else. For example, when I hug him, he stiffens slightly.” She stands up to walk around the room.
“I guess I never noticed that,” I say. He’s always been more than willing to show me affection, touching me and kissing me almost non-stop. Sometimes he’s so handsy, I have to tell him to calm it down when we’re in public.
She picks up the picture of all of us on the porch. “Who took all these?” she questions and turns around, holding the frame in her hand.
“The non-affectionate male you have been talking about,” I joke, and she starts laughing.
“Really? Maybe I’m wrong about him, or maybe it’s just you that makes that side of him come out.” She brings the photo over to my bed. “Either way, how sweet is this?” she beams over at me.
“I know, right?” A wide smile absorbs my face.
“Alright, enough about you and Mr. Mysterious, let’s talk Dex.” She sits up, crossing her legs on my bed. “Does he have a girlfriend? Is he a womanizer? What do you know about him?” She starts throwing out questions faster than I can answer them.
“Hold on, Sam,” I laugh, raising my palm up in the air. “Okay...he doesn’t have a girlfriend and he isn’t a womanizer, but he isn’t a saint either. He barely brings girls around the house. Usually, he and Trey just go out and don’t come home until morning. Why, do you like him?”
“I don’t know,” she says, turning a nice shade of pink. “It’s fun flirting, but it would just be while he’s here since we live too far apart for anything to get serious.”
“Hmm…” I say, nudging her and she playfully nudges me back.
“Don’t say anything, Jessa,” she requests and I nod my head.
“I would never, Sam. You know that. Just enjoy yourself while he’s here,” I tell her, and she smiles before standing up.
I follow her lead and she gives me a hug before placing her hand on the doorknob. “I really came in here to make sure you’re okay,” she says. I inform her that I’m just fine, especially now that Grant has filled my room with pictures of people that love me.
After I shut the door behind Sam, I go into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Seconds after climbing under my sheets, the urge abruptly hits me. I know this is a bad idea, but part of me feels as though it would give me peace to rip it up. Opening my nightstand drawer and snaking my hand under it, I feel the corner of the photo, secured by tape. Of course my parents wouldn’t have found this.
Staring intently at the picture, I see how my smile has changed since then. It seems forced, and I also notice the way Jason has his arm slung over my shoulder, pulling me into him, as though I’m his possession. Anger fills me as I think about how stupid I was, and I start ripping the picture to shreds. Tossing the last bits of my past into the trashcan by my bed, I take one last look at the photo on my nightstand and turn off my light, knowing that was the end of Jason invading my thoughts. I’ll no longer let him have this hold over me. The image of Grant and me laughing on that deck brings peace over my body, allowing it to succumb to sleep.
Grant
I’m awoken by her screams. Throwing the covers off the bed, I run out of my room and down the hall, busting into her bedroom. I grab her and pull her into my arms. Her sobs are uncontrollable as she pushes back from me but I hold her tighter. She thrashes her body back and forth to get out of my hold, and I see her parents in the doorway, looking on with a mixture of fear and sadness in their eyes. I continue to whisper in her ear, hopeful my voice will calm her. A few minutes later, she relaxes in my arms and I loosen my grip. Her dad starts to step into the room, and I’m not about to stop him. But when Jessa pulls back slightly and places her hands on my cheeks, he retreats back to his wife’s side.
“Grant,” she sighs. I tell her again to calm down and that everything will be okay. She buries her head in my neck. I crawl into bed with her and let her snuggle close to my side, wrapping my arms around her. Her dad gives me a small nod, letting me know that he’s giving me permission to stay with her, and her mom smiles while shutting the door.
“It’s okay, baby,” I say to her, soothingly stroking my hand up and down her back.
“It was horrible,” she stutters, still trying to catch her breath.
“It was just a nightmare, baby, I’m here now,” I tell her, but her breathing is still erratic.
“You left me, Grant. You found out I wasn’t who you thought,” she reveals.
“You never have to worry about that.” I scoot down in the bed, bringing the blankets over us. God, having her next to me feels so right.
When I first went to bed by myself tonight, I tossed and turned, finally putting some music on to help me go to sleep.
Her breathing eventually starts to even out. Thankful, I relax my grip on her, remembering my own nightmares after Lizzy. I know I have to tell Jessa about her, although it seems completely ridiculous at this point. What I had with Lizzy doesn’t compare to what I feel for Jessa. But Jessa deserves to know the truth about what happened that night. It’s the last secret I’ve been keeping from her, and the sooner I tell her, the faster we can move on.
I know, without a doubt, she’s the one for me. I love her with every ounce of my being. Her dad says I brought her back to them, but she ignited something inside of me that was never there. She gave me hope that a life filled with admiration, encouragement, and love for one another can exist, making me crave it.
Her light snores tell me she is finally asleep, so I cuddle her closer to me, hoping to find sleep myself.
Trey is already downstairs by the time I get up, and I briefly wonder if he even slept here last night. Mrs. Harrison is making breakfast and Sam sits on a bar stool, chatting with her mom. I’m in awe of Jessa and Sam’s relationship with their parents. There’s a mutual respect that the whole family has for each other that I’ve never seen before.
“Hey, baby, you ready to be killed on the slopes today,” Jessa teases, smacking my ass on her way into the kitchen.
I quickly grab her hand and pull her back to me. “Not so fast, sweetheart,” I say and kiss her. “Good morning,” I murmur against her lips before releasing her.
“So what’s the plan?” Brady asks, walking into the room. “Just so we’re all aware, Sadie isn’t much of a skier, so she’ll be at the spa most of the day.” He takes his seat next to me at the table.
“Oh…the spa. Count me in,” Sam chimes in and Jessa rolls her eyes. “Join us, Jessa,” she requests.
“No way, I have to annihilate Grant first. Maybe after,” she says and shrugs her shoulders.
“Alright. Jessa, you can ski with Grant this morning and then meet us there afterward,” Mrs. Harrison suggests.
“The spa…” Jessa sighs. I can tell she feels obligated when she sees her mom’s hopeful face. “Fine,” she reluctantly agrees.
“Great, I’ll go make reservations.” Mrs. Harrison puts some food on the table and leaves the room.
Jessa comes to sit on my lap. “Sorry about last night,” she apologizes.
“Don’t be.” I feed her a bite of the eggs from my plate and she moans. “I’m your boyfriend, it’s my job to keep you safe and feeling secure,” I tell her, smiling.
“I guess at least you got to come and sleep in my room,” she jokes, and although I don’t find the humor in it, I chuckle slightly.
After we finish breakfast, we all get our snow gear on and head out in the two rentals cars. Once we get to the ski resort, Sadie, Sam, and Mrs. Harrison leave for the spa, and all the guys and Jessa head over to buy our lift passes. We make our way to the chair lifts and Jessa is all smiles, I assume happy she’s back home on the mountain slopes again.
My eyes keep scanning for places to get her alone, but unless I want to do it on the snow or up against a tree, I’m out of luck. Not to mention, her dad’s with us and there’s no way I want to get caught by him, bet or no bet.
We get up to the top of the mountain. Jessa positions her goggles over her eyes and looks my way. “You ready, Bishop?” she asks cockily.
“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll be waiting at the bottom of the hill for you. You can even have a head start if you’d like,” I say arrogantly.
“Enough talk, let’s go. 1…2…3.” We both shove off the hill and she has me from the start. I’m shocked, but I know I shouldn’t be; she did grow up here. Her ass is mesmerizing as she weaves back and forth down the hill. I’m concentrating on her and have to quickly shift my hips to avoid running over a woman in front of me. I don’t bother telling her she should be on another slope. Before I can catch Jessa, she stops at the bottom, smirking my way as I follow a few seconds after.
“You lost, baby!” She starts doing a hip shaking dance in her skis. Suddenly, I’m thinking the tree idea doesn’t seem so bad right now.
As we wait in line at the lift again, I smack her ass and then give it a slow rub. “Keep doing that and I’m going to let you win.” She smiles and I chuckle, leaning over and kissing her.
We get on the ski lift and I turn her way. “This would have been a good place,” I say, “except for the fact that we could plunge to our deaths. But if you were wearing a skirt right now, I could relieve you a little.” She takes a deep breath, obviously aroused just thinking about it.
“I could say the same…minus the skirt.” She takes her hand and positions it over my pants, rubbing the bulge she just created. Then her small fingers unzip me, and her hand finds my hardness. She slides her hand up and down a little, and I undo the buttons, giving her better access. She scoots a little closer, kissing my neck.
I’m thankful no one is in the chair lift behind us, because I want nothing more than her to take me to the brink and beyond. She positions her thumb over my head, spreading the small drop of fluid around before stroking me again. “Feel good, baby?” she softly asks and I groan. “That’s what I thought.” She grins widely up to me. “Come, Grant. I want to see you come,” she whispers, and she strokes me faster and firmer. I start lifting my hips to meet her hand, and before I know it, her mouth is encased around it and I explode inside her mouth. How the hell she managed that, I have no idea, but I’m reminded once again what a fantastic girlfriend I have.
She lifts her head and laughs, “You better fix yourself. We’re almost there and my dad’s waiting at the top,” she says and points ahead. The ski lift ends in about ten chairs and I see her dad’s bright blue jacket, standing out against the snow. I hurriedly zip and button my pants, disappointed we have to cut our time short.
“Has anyone ever told you how incredible you are?” I say to her after I’m all put together again.
“Of course, you would say that after I suck your cock,” she says unabashedly.
“If you never sucked me again, I would love you the same.” I say, smiling at her and she laughs again.
“That’s the most demented romantic thing you’ve ever said to me, but…thank you.” She leans over and gives me a chaste kiss before the lift ends and we meet up with her father.
God, she relieved me of the urge that I’ve had since we got here. I needed that release and I’m sure she needs one too. As we go down the hill again, I beat her the second time, and we agree to a truce on the whole underwear bet. Especially since, we have a much bigger bet going on. Of course, I’m slightly disappointed, for if nothing else, it would have made it easier access if we find somewhere secluded.
Her dad continues to ski with us throughout the morning. When it’s time for Jessa to head to the spa, he and I meet up with Brady, Dex, and Trey. We all decide to rest and get a bite to eat. The five of us go into the lodge restaurant. We’re eating our lunch when I get a text from Jessa, saying that she’s going in for her massage in fifteen minutes and won’t have her phone on her. I look around the table and see that the guys are all busy drinking beer and watching hockey, so I decide to sneak out.
“I’ll meet you guys out on the slopes, I have something I have to do,” I say, praying they’ll think I’m just stopping by one of the stores that line the downtown area.
“See you.” The guys wave their hands without looking at me, completely enthralled in the game.
I stop by the lockers, taking off my ski gear before walking over to where I just kissed Jessa goodbye an hour ago. The place is swanky and modern with plush purple couches, black tables, a huge front desk, and crystals hanging everywhere. I hope to never return here after this. Lucky for me, it’s a young blonde at the counter and I’m hoping I can sweet talk her. I ask her about Jessa’s appointment and she instructs me where to go.
The other clients stare at me curiously as I walk down the hallway. When I get to the room that the receptionist told me she would be in, I knock softly. I see Jessa lying face down on the table when the masseuse opens the door, and I motion with my finger for the masseuse to follow me outside. She informs Jessa that she’ll be right back and shuts the door behind her.
“May I help you?” she asks me in a European accent.
“I know this is strange, but that’s my girlfriend in there and I want to play a trick on her,” I tell her, hoping to God she doesn’t suspect that I’m about to fuck my girlfriend on her table.
She looks me over quizzically, so I pull out my phone and show her pictures of us taken just yesterday. She seems satisfied, so I hand her fifty dollars before sneaking into the room and quietly locking it behind me.
I move my hand over her calf lightly, trying to simulate the caress of a woman. “Are you back, Isa?” she asks, and I respond with a “uh huh” in the highest pitch my voice can go.
I pump the lotion into my hand and warm it up between my palms. Starting by her feet, I take the first one into my hand and spread the lotion. I continue to move my hands over the rest of her body until I finish rubbing lotion everywhere, surprised she hasn’t realized it’s me.
Then I wipe my hands on the towel and make my way to the end of the table, where I guide my hands up her thighs as though I’m going to start massaging. I let my fingers go higher with every push. She doesn’t say anything until I let my finger graze along her folds.
“Keep going, baby,” she responds and I chuckle.
“How the hell did you know it was me?” I ask.
“You think I don’t know your hands? Not to mention, if you were a professional masseuse, you’d be dirt poor,” she laughs and turns over, letting the towel fall to her waist.
I can’t control myself; it’s been too long since I’ve seen her luscious tits. I climb up on the table and take her right nipple into my mouth. Her arms cling to my back, pulling me harder against her. “God, I’ve missed you,” I murmur, letting my hands graze over her clit.
We don’t have enough time to go slow, but fortunately, she’s already wet. Sliding off the table, I guide her to the end and position myself between her legs. Her hands deftly unbutton my pants and she pushes them, along with my boxers, to the floor.
I rub against her, teasing her, and then slowly enter and leave her with only a quarter of my dick. “All of it, Grant. I want all of it,” she commands. At her words, I thrust in deeply. “Don’t stop…” she trails off, bucking faster while gripping my back.
I grab her ass, pulling her close, as I pump into her over and over again until we both climax. She collapses on the table and I crawl up and hold her in my arms. I never would’ve thought this is what I’d miss the most. Thanks to that night at the cabin, I’m now addicted to cuddling, something I never cared for prior to Jessa.
Our time in here is running out and I need to get back to the guys before someone starts looking for me. “Do you want me to have Isa come in and finish?” I ask her, stroking her arm with my fingers.
“I think you finished me just fine,” she teases. “Plus, I’m more relaxed now than I would have been after Isa was done with me.”
“Good, I aim to please.” I lean over and kiss her before I start to make my way out. “See you soon, love,” I say.
“Love you,” she responds back.
I exit the room and slyly make my way past Sam and Sadie getting their nails done. At the locker, I put my ski gear back on and head back to the slopes. I find Brady at the bottom of the ski run with his phone out. I cringe, hoping something bad hasn’t happened.
“Hey man, everything alright?” I ask, patting him on the back.
“Yeah…just an e-mail about this job,” he tells me.
“Really? Have you already started looking?” I’ve been completely distracted from thinking about the job interviews I need to start setting up.
“Just barely. Sadie applied for her Masters at Western and they accepted her, even on short notice. So we’re there for another two years at least. I have a lead on a pretty good job, though,” he continues and I’m jealous. He has Sadie and he’s getting all his shit in order to make it happen with her.
“I have to start looking soon,” I reveal.
“What’s Jessa doing?” I’m embarrassed to admit that we’ve never talked about the future. Neither of us knows what the other wants out of life. Maybe that’s why deep down she thinks I only want her for sex.
“Grant? You are in it for the long haul, right?” Brady asks when I don’t respond.
“Yes, how could you ask that?” I counter defensively.
“Have you told her everything?” I’m starting to wish I would’ve just walked by Brady; I could have avoided this entire conversation.
“She knows about my mom.” I start poking the poles into the ground over and over again, looking down so he can’t see my eyes.
“Jesus, how are you going to have a future if you aren’t honest with her?” he asks, his voice angry.
“You’re one to talk. You kept everything from Sadie until she found out,” I shout back.
“Yeah, and it was a mistake. Learn from my mistakes, Grant, and tell her.” Brady skis off toward the lift and I follow shortly behind.
Doesn’t he understand that those secrets don’t have anything to do with my future with Jessa? What good would it do for her to know any of that, except cause her to realize how fucked up I really am?
