Текст книги "Beautiful Storm"

Автор книги: Megan Isaacs

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Текущая страница: 20 (всего у книги 21 страниц)

“I’m prepared to take the risk.” I keep my tone even and gentle. Noah will always protect me. I have no doubts there.

“Well I’m not.”

“Noah…”

He flies from his seat. “No.”

He doesn’t understand that he means everything to me. And every dark thought he has about himself is simply not true. Yes, there is bad everywhere in the world, but with him by my side there isn’t any storm we can’t weather together. Getting to my feet, I begin to beg. “We need you. I need you. We miss you.”

Again he searches my face, looking for the truth in my words.

“We weren’t with you when I was taken. You left. I was unprotected. We’re safer with you.”

“Safer?” He lets out a harsh laugh. “I can’t protect you when you’re with me. I can’t protect you when you’re not. I’m fucking helpless and I can’t stand the feeling. You’re too close.”

“That’s not true and you know it. Do you love me?”

A tormented expression crosses his face. “Fuck, angel. You know I do.”

ONE THING I have learnt about Noah is his body will speak a thousand words he can’t bring himself to say. When he’s unrestrained and reckless, his movement, his touch, his pure passion, screams every word that won’t pass his lips. “Do I? Show me. Prove it to me.”

“Do you know what you’re asking for?”

“Yes. I’m asking you to let me save you.”

His face twists, and agony sweeps over his features.

“Noah?” His gaze flicks to mine. The raw love in them pulls every square inch of air out of my lungs. “Show me.”

At this close a distance the rumble in his chest vibrates my entire body with his growl of frustration.

I continue to push. He admitted he loves me, so any fear of rejection evaporates. “Are you going to take what’s yours?”

His self-restraint snaps. The man I know and love surfaces from beneath the weight he buried himself under. The darkness in his eyes burns away and leaves a fiery hazel gleaming at me. His large hands grasp at my shoulders then trail my collarbone until his thumbs caress the base of my neck. One hand moves to my nape, the other splays lightly across my throat high enough for his thumb to rub the seam of my lips.

His eyes plead with me when he speaks. “Walk away.” His gruff voice breaks a little.

“Never.” My reply is determined, even though my body has turned liquid under his touch. I’ll never leave him again.

“I only have so much self-control, angel. To cut you out of my life wasn’t an easy task. I couldn’t do it. To resist you now when you’re here offering yourself to me?” He pins me with his smouldering gaze. “That takes strength I don’t have. I’m begging you one last time, walk away while you have the chance.”

I stare into his beautiful eyes and shake my head, long and slow. I’m not going anywhere. And I find myself unable to speak, even if I wanted to.

He releases my neck and dips his body. His large hands engulf my bottom, lifting me up and against him. I wrap my legs around him and entwine my arms around the back of his neck. His head drops into the hollow of my neck and he presses me against him. With my legs firmly wrapped around him, he wraps one arm tight and secure around my waist, the other presses against my back, holding me like I’m his lifeline. Every muscled inch of him melded against me as if to bind us together for an eternity.

“You belong with me.” His lips brush my skin as he speaks, enflaming the near out-of-control forest fire to blaze through my body. Even in his desperation Noah’s dominance undoes me. Once he’s released his demons, he doesn’t ask, he claims.

“I need to know this is it, Noah. You can’t turn you back on me every time you think you’re doing what’s best.”

“I can’t change who I am. I can’t change my past.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know if I can be the man you need me to be.”

“You already are.”

He gives a gentle push on my shoulders so I can see his face. “We need to talk.”

“There’s all the time in the world to talk.”

“No. We need to talk before I let myself inside you. I need to know we are on the same page. And when I take you—” He glances around, a small smile quirking on his lips. “It won’t be in my fucking workshop.”

“What’s wrong with here?” I smile at him.

“For all the things I want to do to you, angel, you’ll need a little more comfort.”

I grumble as he releases me. The sound of his deep laughter is a welcome sound. I pick up my shirt and pull it back on.

“So, Mr. Hamilton, what would you like to talk about?”

“You.” He blows out a breath. “Have you seen a counsellor?”

“I—”

“You need to see a counsellor. What you went through…” He rubs his fingers through the increased amount of hair on his head. “I can’t come home until I know you are okay.”

“What?” I’m stunned. I thought once I got through his thick skull we’re better as a family that would be it. I never imagined having to wait.

“Lizzie, please. Trauma’s an ugly thing; it can play awful tricks on your mind. I’m sure you know already, so please, for the love of God, deal with it.”

“I’m fine.”

“I’m sure you are. You are the strongest person I’ve ever met, but being with me, me coming home, may be too much for you.”

“Have you seen one?”

“Where do you think I just came from? I haven’t left this building in weeks and I knew it was time.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. ‘Oh.’ So get that pretty little arse of yours sorted, and then we’ll see about us. I’ll come with you, I’ll do anything you want me to, except come home.”

“Will you make love to me?”

He scrubs the almost beard with his left hand. “You’re really not playing fair, are you?”

I flutter my eyelashes at him in a playful manner. “A girl has needs you know.”

“Well, I can assure you this girl’s needs will be fully realised when she gets the all-clear from her counsellor.” He has a faint smile on his lips but his tone is deadly serious.

“For your information, I’ve been talking to a therapist.”

The hazel in his eyes ignites. He shifts on his feet and thrusts his hands into the pockets of his worn-out jeans. “Okay… So when the therapist tells you it’s okay for me to be inside you, that being with me won’t traumatise you, then you can have me.”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Noah.” I know I’m pouting like a petulant child, but I’m unable to believe he actually won’t put his hands on me.

“Fuck, Lizzie. This is killing me. I need to feel you around me, have your hands on my body. To taste you. But I won’t fucking do it at the expense of your sanity.”

“What about you? Do we have to wait until your guy says you have the all-clear?”

He moves his gaze from me to the ceiling. “I needed to be debriefed. That’s all.”

“But what about what you went through?”

He removes his hands from his pockets and rubs both of them over his head then down his face. When his gaze finds mine, the worry creased around his eyes has me holding my breath waiting for him to answer. “It was my job.” He sighs then mutters, “Something else we need to talk about.”

“So what about how you have behaved since this happened? That can’t be normal.”

“What’s normal?”

When I glare at him he relents, and pulls me close against him.

“That, angel, was my heart splintered into a million fucking shards. That was me wanting you and Kai so badly, but knowing you were better off without me. That was me…”

His chest rises as he takes a deep breath. He trails a hand down my cheek and his gaze holds mine with such intensity, such honesty, I’m afraid of what comes next.

“Without you,” he finishes.

Yet again, he renders me speechless with only words. His touch I expect it from, but his words compete with his hands.

“Is this what it was like for you the last time?”

The small circles he was rubbing on my lower back stop. “Last time was worse.” He pulls away. “Come on, let’s go into the office. I think we need to talk about this, but not out here in the open.”

I follow him in and sit in the visitor’s chair just like at our initial meeting. When my eyes settle on his face, it’s still set hard, but the fire burns behind the shutters to his soul. He taps his fingers on the desk three times before sitting down.

“I hate you being so far away from me.” He gives me a lazy smile. “I hated it then, too. The first feelings I had for you were protective. I wanted to kill the fucker who took the light from your eyes. Then when you started interviewing me, the storm returned. And fuck me, you on my bike had them raging brighter than ever.” He releases a low breath.

“I can assure you, it wasn’t your bike.”

“Yeah?” He gives a short burst of laughter. “Awesome.”

“Are you okay to tell me about before now?”

He shifts in his seat. “Can I have your hands?”

I willingly place my hands in his. I need the contact with him as much as he needs it with me. The hard calluses on his thumbs, so familiar, rub over my skin.

“How was last time worse?” I know I’m pushing him, but I need to understand his side. I want to hear it from him.

“Sounds fucked up, doesn’t it? Well, so was I.” He takes another deep breath and his brows furrow. “I’d spent years avoiding any form of relationship. You know that. I dealt with loss, I’d dealt with fear, anger, desire, and other shit, but I hadn’t dealt with love, jealousy, or rejection before. At least not the kind I had with you. I may have been a grown man, but in those emotions I was just out of preschool.” A warm smile crosses his face from hearing my laughter.

He lets go of one of my hands and runs his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t cope well without you. The thought of his hands on you drove me insane. Every night was hell for me imagining what you two could be doing together.”

I want to interject but I don’t want to stop him from opening up, so I bite my tongue.

“The realisation I was never enough and you were never truly mine killed me.” His sad eyes flash at me then return to watching our joined hands. “I hit rock bottom, hard. I was drinking myself stupid every fucking night, and if I’m honest, most of the day as well. As far as I could see there was no point in me actually being around anymore. You didn’t want me. I sure as shit wasn’t any use to anyone in the state I was in. So I figured I’d be better off, the world would be better off, if I wasn’t here.”

He gives a soulless laugh and raises his beautiful, drawn face to look at me. “You know how that went.”

My heart squeezes and my eyes well with tears. “You could have died, Noah.”

“Yeah, I know.” His expression hardens for a second.

“Doesn’t it bother you?”

“No. Not being here in the world for you and Kai? That bothers the fuck out of me. Which is why this time, I dealt better with the whole situation, believe it or not.”

He gives my hands a tender squeeze when a choked sob emits from my throat. “I know you think I’m off the rails, but this time I had it under control. Yeah, I drank. It’s my go-to move, but I allowed myself two weeks and no more. I never went near another woman; I didn’t want anyone else.” His forehead furrows. “My heart never has.”

The relief which sweeps through me from his words can’t be described. Only felt. But it evokes a waterfall of tears.

His face softens. “Hey, I hope that’s relief and not disappointment.”

Unable to form a coherent sentence, I nod, raising a lopsided smile from him.

He lifts my hands to his face, presses them against his full lips for a beat, and then continues.

“After, I channelled every bit of anger, all the pain, into working out instead. Yesterday came to the point where I was ready to be debriefed. I had to get it all off my chest. Needed to deal with it once and for all.”

“So, you’re okay?” I sniffle, pull my hands back, and wipe under my eyes with the backs of them.

“Mentally, I’m in good shape, apparently. Emotionally, I’ve always been a bit of a hothead. Well, about you at least.” The expression that crosses his face removes years from his features. As it fades, his brows crease. “Um… How’s my little man?”

I thought I had lost the tension in my body until he asks that, but with his words every muscle liquefies. “He misses you.”

He nods at me, reaches out, and pulls on my hand. “Come here.”

I willingly go. He shifts in his seat and I settle onto his lap, snuggling up into his neck. “You really need to shave.”

A low chuckle rumbles against my chest. “No shit.”

He holds me against him and we remain there, in silence, for a few minutes. His lips graze my forehead and he squeezes me a little tighter. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed both of you.”

His confession makes my chest hurt, but in a good way.

He sighs, and it’s heavy and heartfelt. “Can you live with who I was?”

“You’re not who you think you are. I’m sorry I reacted the way I did. I was shocked, but I should’ve heard you out.” Renewed guilt floods through me.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, angel. That one’s on me. I should’ve told you earlier. You know what they say about hindsight. But can you? I mean… Can you accept me with my past? Where I came from?”

“Yes. I already have. I should have…” I pause and run my thumb along the jagged scar on his cheek; it still looks angry, even after all this time.

“Stop.” His gruff voice breaks through my thoughts. Taking my hand in his, he lowers it to his mouth and sucks on my thumb, nipping at the pad with his teeth. “It’s not your fault.”

Dropping my gaze, I struggle to say something, anything to express how sorry I am, but nothing seems enough. How could it ever be enough? “But if I hadn’t—” I try to at least start somewhere, but he cuts me off.

“It’s not your fault,” he assures softly. He grips my chin so my eyes rise to meet his. “That decision was all mine.”

“But I still feel responsible.” I sigh, trying to break his unwavering gaze.

“You can only be responsible for your own actions, Lizzie, not those of others. People make their own choices. Yes you can perhaps persuade them in some way, but ultimately the final decision is theirs.”

I let his words sink in and enjoy the comfort of his arms around me.

“Noah?”

“Yeah?”

“Please come home. I’m not asking you to break the stupid no sex rule you’ve set. But I want us to be a family.”

His chest heaves under my hand with each shaky breath he takes. “That’s what you want?”

“It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

He remains quiet, except for the rapid thud of his heart. I glance up at him to find his eyes glistening back at me with so much love in them it’s hard to believe it’s for me. He still hasn’t answered me. “Please, Noah. Will you?”

A small tear leaks from one eye. “Nothing on this earth would make me fucking happier.” His lazy smile appears as he squeezes me a little tighter. “Come on, angel. Let’s go home.”

Six Months Later

WALKING INTO OUR home, I throw my workbag into the corner of the kitchen, and my dirty T-shirt quickly follows it. The house is quiet and causes the ever-present uneasiness to squeeze my stomach before I get the chance to fight it down. It’s too quiet. I take a deep breath.

She’s probably still out at work. Otherwise, Kai would’ve come barrelling at me the minute I walked in. Cait’s babysitting while Lizzie’s working. It’s all good.

The reasoning eases my nerves a little, and I manage to restrain myself from rampaging through the house to find them. Glancing over at the kitchen counter, I spot a few letters and shuffle through them. It works to calm me, plus it makes me smile. The feeling it gives me to see her coming through my door is one I’d never want to be without again.

Noticing a package in the kitchen, I pick up the small, brown padded bag and twist it in my hands. Every muscle tightens. A foreign postmark glares at me along with my name. The handwriting’s vaguely familiar, but I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.

Ripping it open, my heart stops, and the smile fades. Staring back at me is something I’ll never forget, but would’ve happily lived without seeing again, ever. Yet, it also brings a relief that I never thought I’d have.

I tip up the package and the gaudy gold signet ring, one I’d recognise anywhere, falls into my hand. A piece of paper pokes out from the shredded bag.

Well, that’s one fucking big apology, because it means he handed me something I could never gain myself. Not now. Not ever, without my family being at risk.

My freedom.

Sly bastard. It means a lot for him to have taken the job. If it was a job. We’re talking about Jase, after all. A smile creeps onto my face. It’s good to know after everything, he still has my back. The weight and fear carried on my shoulders for a long time disappears. My family is safe from my past. Alberto Zaffino’s dead.

I squeeze the ring in my hand one last time, silently thanking Jase, walk over to the bin and throw it away. Needing some noise, I head off to turn the TV on.

The first thing I notice when walking into the lounge is Lizzie. She’s all I see. Lying on the sofa, earphones in, dressed in her sweats, if you can call the barely-there shorts and crop top that. Her hair haphazardly falls on her shoulders, and she’s reading a book. She still knocks me for six every fucking time. I’ll never get tired of owning her, her owning me, body and mind. I’ve been in her presence for maybe thirty seconds and I’m already at half-mast.

She must sense me, and turns in my direction. As she sits up, she removes the earbuds and a tired smile crosses her lips.

“Hey,” she greets huskily. And it does nothing to tame the throb between my legs.

“Hey. You didn’t hear me come in?”

“No.” She shakes her head. “How long have you been there?” Her gaze trails down my bare chest, and it may as well have been her nails with how my body reacts.

“Long enough.” I gesture to the full-blown hard-on I’m now rocking.

She laughs. It’s soft, gentle, and tugs so hard inside me, it weakens my knees. “You’re insatiable.”

“Where you’re concerned? Too fucking right.” Since we broke the no sex rule a few months ago, I can’t keep my hands off of her.

“You seem less tense, happier?”

It’s the understatement of the year. “With you in my bed and my son in our home, what do you expect?”

An understated heat burns from her, and a shy smile overtakes her features. Our gazes lock.

I’ll be forever caught in her storm. I never want to be anywhere else. She’s my weakness. She always will be. But instead of letting it break me, become my downfall, I’ll embrace the fucker. Take it by the horns and ride it, hard.

I’m in front of her within three strides. I take hold of Lizzie’s hand and pull her up against me. Her eyelids become heavy, and her breath catches.

“Is Kai having a nap?”

“No. He’s still with Cait. Apparently they were going on an adventure around the zoo.”

That explains his absence, and I know our son couldn’t be in more capable hands. “Hmmm.” I breathe out against her ear and trail my fingers over her exposed skin at her waist. Her body shivers under my touch. And the fact I know I’ve got Lizzie to myself is doing nothing to calm my desire for her. “Do me a favour?”

“Anything.” She’s already as breathy as my cock’s hard.

I pull away from her. “Come lie on my back while I do some push-ups.”

Her eyes widen, and her face shines with the smile that touches her lips. It’s not what she was expecting. “Um. Okay.”

In all honesty, the last thing I want to do is push-ups. I desperately want to take her, here and now. But as long as she’s with me, that fact will always be my truth. I need to restrain the urge occasionally, as difficult as it is. Time to test myself.

“Bring your book. You can read while I press.”

“Seriously?” she giggles.

I get down on the floor and position myself. “Yeah, seriously.”

Every part of her moulds to me, even when she’s on my back. The roundness of her tits on my traps, the curve of her sweet spot over my arse. Everything.

“Okay. You’re going to have to bend your knees just a little, and cross your ankles.”

She does as I ask, and I start to press, slow and controlled. After ten, she asks, “Do you want me to read to you?”

“Okay.” I laugh because I know she’s reading some girly romance shit. “If you want to.”

She begins to read in a soft, sultry voice. Each press-up I make gets harder and harder, along with my cock. Her breath brushes my neck as she talks, her voice mesmerising. She’s reading a hot and heavy sex scene. Visions of taking Lizzie in the ways she’s describing make continuing the push-ups almost impossible. I thought these love books were rainbows and unicorns. Guess I was fucking wrong.

“That’s really not helping.”

“What’s not?” She’s playing sweet and innocent, but really she’s the devil’s sidekick.

“I’m trying to control the urge to fuck you every moment of every day and you’re reading me that?”

She chuckles, and the vibrations on my spine shoot straight to my cock. She’s pushing my limits. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You’ll pay, woman. When I get to one hundred, you will be punished.” My voice deepens. “Long, deep, and hard.”

She leans forward a fraction and whispers in my ear. “I’m counting on it.”

My abs tighten and arms shake, close to giving way. I gather every shred of strength I have, take a few deep breaths, and then push through the remaining sets.

Ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred.

I twist my body, dropping one shoulder as I raise the other. She rolls off me and onto her back.

“What the…? Noah!” Her voice sounds angry but the flecks in her eyes glint at me, and there’s a wicked smile on her face.

My body covers hers in seconds. “Payback’s a bitch.” I thrust against her, rubbing my body against hers, and the smile vanishes, but the flecks flare brighter.

“What’s my punishment to be, sir?” She holds me captive with her gaze.

I lean down and run my nose along her throat to her ear. “You’re playing a dangerous game, angel. I could get used to it.”

Her face lights up. “I bet you could.”

I pin her arms to the floor and she wiggles beneath me. “You’re going the right way to getting tied up and blindfolded.”

“Is that a promise?”

I love that book. If she’s playing this game, I’m going to push her limits.

“You know it is. Want me to spank your arse, too?”

Her face flushes, but she holds my gaze as she nods.

Fuck me. I know she likes me unrestrained, a little rough, and a lot dirty. But I never considered she’d go there.

I release her arms. “I’ll hold you to that. But right now, I need to be inside you.” Sliding one of my hands down between us, the heat of her pussy greets my fingers. “Right here.”

As much as the thought of restraining her gets me high, that shit will take time, and I have no patience. I need her now.

A small, throaty moan emanates from her as she runs her fingers through my hair and gives it a tug. “What are you waiting for?”

My urge is to be feral, to mark my territory, to claim. But as much as the need takes hold, I restrain myself. “You, angel. I want you to take the lead.” I want her to ride me. There’s nothing better than watching her come undone from above me. It’s the sexiest view I’ve ever seen and for as long as I live it’ll never get old.

She pushes against my chest with her palms. Her hands on me never fail to send shock waves over my skin. I roll us over, and she mounts me. The pressure on my cock’s perfect when she grinds her hips against mine. Her fingers trail the tattoos across my chest, sending electric shocks to my groin. When she leans forward, soft tendrils of hair graze my skin. I shudder under her. Fuck it, I can’t wait for her.

I launch myself into a seated position, her face barely a few millimetres from mine. Her panted breaths tickle my skin.

“I love you, you know.” I know she feels my love. I show her in most ways I can, but the words rarely come out. My hands cup her face between them. “Marry me?”

Wait. Where the fuck did that come from? But I know where. The thought’s been in my head from almost the moment she came back into my life. If I had to eat only bread and water, and forgo sex for the rest of my life, I’d do it to have her by my side.

She pulls back and examines me while I hold my breath. Every nerve vibrates, and my heart constricts. And she’s still looking at me. No answer. No smile. Not a fucking thing gives away what’s going on in her gorgeous head.

I run my fingers through my hair. “I’d hand you my balls, angel, but you already have them. Will you please give me an answer?” My chest tightens hard, and I fight to take a breath. She needs to give me an answer, or pretty soon I’m going to die from lack of oxygen.

“Did you really just ask me that?” The bewilderment in her tone undoes me.

I give her my easy smile, the one I know she loves. “Yeah. I did.”

“Say it again.” She places her hand over my heart.

The shiver of goose bumps from her touch sends tingles throughout my body. My pulse surges with force, my heart shatters the band choking it and beats fiercely against its cage. I swallow deep. The fear of rejection still catches my tongue. But the colour of her eyes subsides from a wild grey tempest to tranquil sunlit sea, easing my nerves.

My mind fights images of how I should be asking this, on bended knee, ring in hand, heart on my sleeve. But I can’t take back asking her now, and I don’t want to. I don’t want to save it for some faked-up romantic bullshit. And I can’t wear my heart on my sleeve even if I wanted to because I don’t have it, she does. I need her to be my wife. Now.

“Will you please marry me?”

Tears well in her eyes, and I hold my breath.

“Yes.”

Yes? I take her face in my hands and lean up towards her. My mouth hovers six inches from hers and my abs burn.

“Say it again.” I croak the words out, my voice strangled by the emotion overwhelming me, keeping my gaze fixed on her lips.

“Yes.”

I watched her lips form the word. I heard her whisper it. And I can feel the smile on her face through my hands as my thumbs rub across her lips.

It’s real.

With the wind knocked out of me, and no words to speak, I do the only thing I can. The only thing I’ve ever done where she’s concerned. Show her with my body what she means to me.

“Hellloooooooo. Anybody home?”

What the fuck?

We jump up like we’ve been shot in the arse, quickly grabbing clothes and trying to get them on. I try to fight my cock back into my jeans and get the buttons done up. Greedy bastard. Lizzie pulls up her sweats, adjusts her vest, and sits back on the sofa, book in her lap, looking like she’s been there all day. Apart from the flush on her face, nothing seems out of place. I, on the other hand, have a raging hard-on, my chest heaves, and I don’t know what to do with myself.

I thrust my hands in my pockets just as Kai bounds into the room, followed by Spud, Cait, and my niece, Baby Em, in Cait’s arms. Lizzie heads straight for the baby, and Kai launches himself at me. Because I’m caught off guard, his weight takes us both tumbling to the floor in a ball of laughter. In the background, I can hear everyone else chatting and laughing.

“Hi, Daddy.” His little face beams at me.

“Hey, buddy. How was your day?”

“I saw a graph.”

Graph? What the hell’s a graph? My mind scrambles to put a meaning to the word.

“Great! Did it have… er… legs?”

“Yes. Long, wob-bly legs.”

I spin him around on my chest and sit us both up. He gets up off my lap.

“So it was a baby giraffe?”

He looks at me like I’m stupid. A stern expression graces his face and little hands are placed on his hips. “Yes, Daddy.”

“That’s great.” I give him my best impressed smile and get to my feet. “Have you given Mummy a cuddle?”

He shakes his head and turns to Lizzie. I glance at her to see her eyes sparkling with unshed tears, the baby in her arms. Fuck, she’s stunning.

She still finds it emotional to see us together. In a way, I’m glad. It helps to keep this all real for me. And it’s a pleasure to see her this happy. She went through hell keeping him away, and from how things went down, she was right to do so.

Kai climbs carefully onto her lap, and our gazes meet. It’s at times like this I forget other people exist. The only things that matter in my world are sat in front of me. Lizzie nods her head towards something. I turn to find Spud and Cait grinning like a pair of idiots at me.

“Need us to leave?” Cait asks.

“No, actually we have some news.” I shoot Lizzie a nervous glance, but she just gives me one of her reassuring smiles.

“Okay.” Cait looks suspicious, but Spud has that shit-eating grin on his face again. “Come on then.”

“I asked Lizzie to marry me.”

The squeal from my sister could shatter glass. Baby Em starts to wail, and Kai clings to Lizzie like the world’s going to end as the rest of us laugh.

“I knew you had it in you.” Cait launches herself at me, wrapping her arms tight around me. After a few neck-crushing seconds, she releases me and runs over to Lizzie, talking a mile a minute.

I glance at Spud; his usual grin has settled into a more reserved one. He grabs my hand and pulls me towards him. We back slap and then he ruffles my hair. Twat.

“Look at you all grown up.” He smirks at me.

I give his sarcasm a cursory laugh. “Yeah, who would have thought, eh?”

“Seriously, mate. Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” I feel like I’ve won the crown jewels.

“Um, I know you may not want to think about this yet, but you’re going to need a best man.”

My gut twinges and I look away from him. “Not if we elope, I don’t.”

“Like your sister is going to allow that.”

I glance over at the girls. Excitement is written all over their faces as they discuss dresses and other wedding type shit. I’d never want to take this away from them. My gaze hones in Lizzie.

From her I’d never want to take away a thing.

“Look, man. You’ve got to sort it sometime. You know I’d do it. I’d be honoured. But it isn’t me who should hold that role. Until all that shit went down you two always had each other’s backs.” He’s talking about Bear.

“Yeah, well, that was before he lied to me.”

“You know he thought he was doing the right thing. If you’d been him what would you have done?”

“I would’ve fucking told me.”

“Yeah. Right. ‘Course you would.”

I’ve been thinking about this for the last few months. At first my anger wouldn’t allow me to consider Bear had done the right thing. But now I’m realising that put in the same position, with the same goal, I would have done the same. And I’ve learnt from Lizzie that he didn’t know about Kai.

I also know that Layla and Bear come around to see both Lizzie and Kai when I’m not home. Same with Zan. She has to revolve that around me. It’s unfair to her. And she’s tried hard to convince me to forgive him, them. It’s time to put my family right.